THE TIMES, NEW UL00MFIEL1). PA., MA1101I 2,-1880.
I'l'oi'ossional Curds.
JK. J UN KIN, Attorney-aM.aw.
New llloomileld, iWry CO., Pa.
-Olllca Next door to the residence of Judiie
Junkln. 4lt(
AM. MAltHlC!,. Attornoy-at-l.nw,
New llloniullold, Perry county, Pa.
i-tf Oillvu opposlto tlio Mansion Houso.Hiid
thros dinr ual of the Pojt-Ullloe.
- KWl!) rui'TEit,
ATTUUNEV AT LAW,
NEW ULOOMKIttLD, I'KKltY. CO., PA.
01alm nroinntly secured collected
Wrltlnijauud all IcKal business earefullyattend-
i-dto. Jiiyi
O'
til Altl.Ktf II. MAUL KY, Attorney at Law.
I New ItliMimllrld. Perrv do. Pa.
"0ltl'.!B tWJ diir,H e,nl o( .ItHeph Hinlth's
hotel. AUBiiHt a, 1S72.
Will, a.HPONHIjKK, Attorney-at-l.aw,
twice ttdjniulitir 111" residence, on Hast
Main street, New lilooin Held, Perry eo., Fa. 321y
WM. N. HliliSKIlT. Altorney-At-Law,
Ntnv llloomileld, Perryao., Pa.
IlloiimlleUl, 3 33 1v.
r' KW1H POTTErt. notaht FUHI.lO, New Bloom.
J field. Perry Co., Pa.
Deeds, llouds, MiitaK and Lease carefully
prepared and acknowledgements taken. All
kind of Pension and Homily paper drawn and
derailed, will aleo take dei"iHltious to be rei.d In
anvoourt In the United States. 7 10 ly
CIIAS.J. T.McINTIllB, Attorney-at-Law,
New Itlonmllelil, Perry CO., Pa.
ir" All professional business pro nirttlyandfaith.
fully attended to. 8 2 It.
EM. A. MOHIIISON,
JITHTIOH OK Til K PKAI'K and GENERAL
.HlvroK, NbwOrumantown, Perryco., Pa.
4- Keiult.laneoawlll be made promptly for all
t'olloctlonii made. 7 44
OUAS. A. UAIINH TT, Attornoynt-t.aw,
New liloomlleld. Perry oo., Pa
.Ollleeon high street. Nortlislde, iiearlyop
ponltetlie Presbyterlau Church. 8 illy
ML. LIU11K1T. Attoknuy-at-La w.
Newport, Perry VouniU- Pa-
Havlnti perm inenllv located at Newport, will
lve prompt and careful attention to all bus!
ness matters committed to Ills enre.
Olllce, No. mo Nortli HeeondBtreet.
lewnurt, April 2f 1178.
U. K. M. ALriXANDEK,
SUltGEOX miXl'IST,
New Illooiulleld, Terry County, Fa.
Office on Carlisle, Bt.,ono door Routh of J. K. and
Jmlite dnnklu's law otllee. Kverythinn bullion
Imi totlie profession done In the best manner.
All VVomt Waiikantbii. Terms moderatu. 28
0
P. BOLLINGER, M. D.,
having located In Newport, offers Ills Profes
lioual services to all who may need them .
Chronic diseases of every description cured.
Olllco In Dr. Shalto'a building, 4th. street
March 4, 1878.
ttwtVa.w
5 OLD AND RELIABLE, .:
jDrt Sanfobd's Lrvnn IngohatokJ
$is a Standard, Family Remedy for v
StliBcaacs of tlio Liiver. HtmnurOi
and Bowels. It is Purely
'Vegetable. It never
Tlaliilirnfaa Tt ia
0 ,
JOntunrtio and
JTonic. V
'.t0
l 1 r
A0 08 S
.5f V. V.wftoV. "Atf
3. .TAO'Cl,' Ri fa Sill W K0J7..
t V 'wtld RfTEA Ml
Si ?' LlrerJ
llIuvigoratoii
BflX ill mv ttrftetier
VI and by the publiei
for more tlinn 85 years,?
Will, 1in,w,ftilmirt.l .A...14'a m
SEND FOR CIRCULAR.!
JS, T1VJ1 SANFORD, M.D., ifiwyoEKiiMi
Jj AKY DIU UCIHT WILL TKLt V, ITH KEPt'TATlOX !
June 2, 1S7!1.
" POUTZ'S
HORSE AND CATTLE POWDERS
V1U our or prevent Clseaaa.
No Rons! will die of Colio, Boti or Ltrxa Tm-
TKR, U Foutz'e Powileraere asodlntlme.
FoaU'0Powderu will cure end prevent HogCbolma
Fouu' Powclcre will prevent Omtm rowi,
Fouul Powden will lDrrce the qnuitlty of milk
and ore am twenty per seuL, and make the batter firm
and sweet
Fontzl Powders will core or prevent almost cvkbt
piUAsa to which Horses and Cattle are snlJrct.
FOUTZ'S POWUIBI WILIi 1V SiTlSriOTlOM.
&oldever'whrre. i
DAVID & TOUTZ, Proprietor.
- For Sale by S. B. Smith, New BloomDeld
Perry Con uly. Pa. . 4 ly
K f f A WEEK In your town, and no caol
I I I I I ltal rlnked. You can give the business
I L trial without expeuse. The best
i W W opportunity ever offered for those
a l I I I wililriK to work. You should try
t villi noihine else until you see for your-
v vr aeii what you can do at the business
' we offer. No room to explain here.
Ynu can devote all your time or only your spare
time to the buiiieas, and make great pay for
every hour that you work. Women can make as
much as men. Hend for special Drlvat terms and
particulars, which we mall free. $ft Outnt free.
iMn'teomplalnof hard times while you have such
a chance. Address U. UAU.K1X CO., Port
laud, Maine. 401 y
'fl I H Don't you want somecheap
goods for Pants and suits T
U If you do, don't tall to ex
amine the splendid assortment for sal by F
MOtiTIMEK. You can suit yourself In style and
rum h n rf
r - im mf M u-i im 1
11 mi
,'3 J
5
him
Vriue.
t'lilliidclplila AdverHsciiienls
Ready Mixed Paints !
READY MIXED PAINTS !
NOWATEK.NO CHEMI0AL8, NO IJKNZINB,
BUT A PUItK
OH, PAIIVT,
11EADT FOR USE.
iStimplo Oii-i'tlM.
00 BEAUTIFUL SHADES OF ,FA1AT
8KNT Bf MAIL.
ITIH PUT ON LIKE OTIfUlt PAINT. MADE
WITH L1CAII ANIIOIL, VIZ ! NICELY
UHUHHKI) OUT. NOT KLOWUU
ON 1,11111 WATlClt PAINT.
TRY IT,
Ami Ton. Will Proye it to bo tlio lU't
Liquid I'uliit lu llio Klnrkct.
.701IIV LUCAS 4c CO,, '
Philadelphia,
MANUKACTUHICHH OK
Swlsg and Imperial French (jreen,
WHITE LEAD, COLORS.
VARNISHES, &c
IP" For Sample Cnrds opply to F. MortU
mer, Now Uloonilluld, l'a., or to John Lucas A
Co., Philadelphia.
2EIGLER&SWEARINGEN
' Suoocssors to
HHAFFNEK.ZIEGLKB A CO..
Importers and Dealers lu
Hottlery, OIovcn.
ItlbboiiH, MiiNpemlerH,
THREADS, COMBS,
and every variety of
TRIMMINGS A FANCY GOODS,
No. 36, North Fourth street.
rillLADELPIIIA, PEN1TA
Agents for Lancaster Combs,
W.H
. KENNEDY
wrrn
TRIMBLE, BBITTON Co.,
WHOLESALE GROCERS,
No. 605 MARKET BTREET,
JPBILADBLPBTA. 1 1
gOWER, POTTS & CO., "
BOOZSELLEIiS. STATIONERS,
And Dealers In
CURTAIN & WALL-PAPERS.
I if. A Mi HOOKN
Always on band, and madeto Order.
Nos. S30 Market and 623 Minor Streets
PHILADELPHIA, PA
ALBO
Publishers of Sanders'NewKeaders.and
Brooks' Arithmetics. Also. Kobert's Uistorval
the UnltedBtates.Felton'sOutllne Maps, So. .
JLOYD, SUPPLEE & WALTON
WHOLESALE
HARDWARE HOUSE
No.' 625 Market Street,
rhiladelphla, Fenn'a.
JANNEY & ANDREWS
WHOLESALE
GROCERS,
No. 123 MARKET ST., .
Philadelphia.
G
RAYBILL & CO.,
Wholesale Dealers! a
Oil Cloths, Carpets,
Shades, Brooms,
Carpet Chain, Wadding,
Batting, Twines, &c,
And a fine assortment of
WOOD and WILLOW WARE,
N.2 Market street, aboye4th,
PHILADELPHIA.
rhiladelphla AdTPillsoiiionts.
M. BARTLEY,
WITH
M. a. pmrmi & co.,
itiANiiFAtnrtiitioiiH
AND WIIOLK8ALE DKALKltfl IN
BOOTHS 8c SHOES,
ill NORTH THIRD HHI1CKT,
fSIIMDl.l.rill A.
- Hiiei-lnl attention ftlven to orders. .
J linen, lHiaud
VVA INWHIGUT t CO.
vtfHOLtSALE GrlOCERS
ANU
TEA DEALERS,
North Kast Corner ot 2nd and Aruhrttreet,
Philadelphia Penn'a,
S. DOUGHERTY
WITU
D. J. HOAR & CO.,
wuot.Kaii.E
UOOT AND SHOE
WAltElIOUSll,
(till MAUKKT Bl'ltlCKT,
Philadelphia, Penn'a,
JJALL, SHENK & CO.,
405 & 407 Market Stroet,
riiilitrielitliia,
(Old Htnnd ot Daruroft & Co.,)
WIIOLESALi: DEALEKH
IN
iy I1Y GJ O 0 1 & .
January 1, 18TH.
KENDALL'S
tSJ--A. VIIV OXJXX13
18 a sure onre for spavlii. splint, curb, oalloiis,
sprains, swelllnus .trails, liimeness ami all n.
Iaremeiils of the Joints of limbs. It will com.
Pletely remove a bune Niiavln without blistering
oroausinica sore. It Is also as icnod for man as
or ueasi ami is useu mil sir infill, at ail times ol
theeir, with perfect safety. A cure wlileli we
are knowlnft to Is a person who suffered 15 ysars
with hip Joint lameness nnd was permanently
cured two years ao with Kendall's Spavin Cure,
ltemember we claim It will cure a bone spavin
and completely remove the bunch without blis
tering. Statement Made Under Oath.
To Whom It May Concern i In the vear 1R7. I
treated with Kendall's Hpavln Cure a bone spavin
of several mouths' Kiowth, nearly half aslai'Ke as
a hen's eitx. and completely stopped the lameness
and removed i he enlai'Kemcnt. I have worked
the horse ever since very hard, and he never has
been lame, nor could I ever see any difference In
the size of the hock Joints since I treated him with
lienuairs spavin uuie. jt. a. UAlfica.
jmiosouik rails, vt., reo. zo. 1x711.
Sworn and subscribed to before me this 2,1th
day February A. D. 1H79.
duiiii u. onnni'., jumice oi tne reace.
Olllce U- S. Marshall. Western Dlst. or Mich.,
Kalamazoo, Apr. lMh, ln79.
It. J. Kendall, nnnsbiiru Vails. Vt. Denr Kin
received the two bottles of your spavin cure
urwurdrd by express In January last. I am hap
py to state that it performed all your advertise
ment called for. In three weeks after I commenc
ed mlnu It. the spavin was entirely removed and
a valuable horse restored to usefulness. ,
Very truly ours.
JOHN FARKEIt.
Bend address for Illustrated Circular, which we
think plves positive proof ot its virtues. No
remedy has ever met with sunh tmiinalllled suc
cess, to our knowledge, for beast as well as man.
l'rlce 1 1. per bottle, or Hix bottles for to. All Drug
gists have It or can get it for you. or it will be sent
to any addrers on receipt of price bv the propri
etors. DU. B. J. K UN DAI. L Si CO.,
uosbut'K Willis, Vermont.
"Kendall's Spavin Cure" Is now sold by all the
leading wholesale druggists and a large number
ol prominent retail druggists.
mrv. woHTiMKit, new iiioomueia, agent ior
Terry Co., l'a.
D. I. C.
Is an atwolnte and Irresistible cure for
"OnRi, Intrmyx,rftTi''f. ajrl th. tie of Optflm-To-K
opo, NarcotJen and KUmulauts, rcmflng alll
latfte, doHlro cuid habit of u.tlnff anrof them,ren-I
iUtIust tbe tiistoordealrefor uoyortbcm porroctlyB
odlotuanddiitfiu-.tlnK. (Uvlnij evcrvoue pcrfwtB
duivasanuuieirsrieuus. i
Tt nnrrents thnt ahsnlrrto nhmtcol and morslS
RprostmlloatliatloUowa tho suddua bruuklUaTou
a i rom unlnff sUinuUuiu or uarcoUcs.
Packam. nrciiald. to cure 1 tofiueraolia.i3.arat
Srour Urumcuita. par bottle.
Itemperanr. soclctle. ahrrald rMVrnimend it. It
is pott ecu haruiUMa and uuvur-toUiutf.
Hop Bitter Mfg. Co., Rochester, N.Y. Sole Agents
lift. Conch Vnrp destroys all nafn, loosens thr
wuucli, quiuu Um imutss, prwducta nut, sjui aevei
cans to uuru.
The Hob Pad for Btomarh. Llrer and Kidneys.
9 1 superior t all others. Curw U abMirutioa. It
is periuoi nr. unmpwa
Th. H.B Blttwa Ittsr. fa., nl rtorhMfar. W. T. amh. en. I
u .. r .. -i . . -.. ' .... ' r K
npsrvuiM. r.ii,MiM-. utisu in. imp uitivn, wniL-n sr. I. di ,
I ..US s Duvmurooriautxicnnt. Dunn, rui.ai win ut Mtti I
iMTMBuhi,wftuiffiiMfcurauiuaiioutrriallai. B
I FOR SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
10 (w
UnDQC Send 25 cents In stamps or currency
nUnOt jor a new 110KHK 11UOK. It treats
all diheases, hasSS line engravings showing posi
tions assumed by sick horses, a table of doses, a
Pnnif large collection ot valuable recipes,
DUUIX rules for telling the ageof a horse, with
an engraving showing teeth of eaoh year, and a
large amount of other valuable horse Informa
tion. Dr. Wm. H. Hall savs: "I have bought
books that I paid 15 and 110 for which I do not
like as well as I do yours. " BEN D FOR A CI It-
CULAB AGENTS WANTED. B. J. KEN
DALL, Ennsburgh Falls, Vt. . 20 ly
- The Hook can also be had by addressing
" Tiia Times," New Bloomneld, fa.
A MONTH guaranteed, ill a
aay at home made by the Indus.
trious. uapitai not required: we
will start you. Men, women. bojs
and girls make money faster at
work for ns than atauythlngelse.
The work Is light and pleasant,
and such as anv nns ean an rlvht
at. Those who are wise who see this notice will
sena us tnetr aaaress at once and see for them
selves. Costly Outtlt and terms free. Now Is the
time. Those already at work are laving up large
sinus ui suuucjr. Auuress inuaoitu., auruais
(Dnnn
name. to ly
i7Ariiu:(:z:ii'i,Ti':i
UAltUAINH IN
PIANOS
anil
ORGANS
FOK TIUS.A'JIXT 00 It AYS,
Before Our Advance in Prico3 1
Fiaiios$l'iO to 100
All new, and strictly first-clnss, nnd sold Rt the
lowest net cash ' linleiiile fnmury prices. lilieut In
the piirclntHf r. Tlitse l'luiins made one of the
iiiichi iiispiiiyssi l lie i.'eiiieiiiihti f.KNllPitlolt. aim
were uiianumitiHlv reenmiiieinli'il fur tne IlKiMKcr
lltiNon-. over 12.IMSI In use. Itcutiliirlv hirorno.
laleu M it in i fail 11 1 1 ii u Co. Kiteiiiry eslabllslii'd
over ,17 years. The riUiiie Oramls column
MathiiHiiek a new palent liupli x overstrung
Benin, t lie greaient Intjiriivenieiit III Hie lilstnry ut
l'iiiiin nmkiliK. 'I he (Iprlglils lire the FINKHT IN
A MICItlttA. I'laiins sent mi II lal. Don't lull to
write fur llliitlrnied and iHmerlnllve CitlaloKueoI
sH pages imtlleil free.
tinr new hi. vies 01 ,i v m i.r.is i mu i a n n are ine
beit In the world. AiiHstnp organ only Hi
Willi tall Ihe greatest, latest, flit'l liet linpriive.
litems, possessing power, ileplli, billllaney and
nympiilheilt! iit(ily sir tune. Ileautlliil solo el
feet mill net feet stun act Inn . Bond walnut cases.
of t'calllllll! lleslgll anil clemtlit Mulsh. All
rintios mill digitus sent on unlays' lem. rrini
freiulil flee If iinsiiltsliietoi v. Clteiiliir tree.
NllKI'.T Ml'HIt) half in Icii. Dollar's worth at
one llilrd of price. Ciilaiogtin of l,ri"n choice
pieces sent on iceelpt nl :ie. Htnmp. aiiuicss
MKNDKI.RHOI1N 11 A NO CO..
21 Kast K'lh 8U eel, Now York.
Hepletnlier Ifl, WW.
Anicrlcnii and Foreign t'aloiits.
fllf.MOHK Hi fit'., Bueeessors to CHI I'M AN
T IIUHMHll s CO.. Kollclinrs. I'alenls pro
cured In all count ties. NO FHKH IN ADVANOK.
No charge unless tltepatent is gianled. N fees
for making preliminary examinations. No addi
tional fees for obtaining ami conducting a re
hearing. Ily a recent, decision of the Commis
sioner, ALL re ected applications may be revived,
Hpeclal altelitliinglven to Interference Cases be
fore the I'alont olllce, I'.xtenslniis before ton
res. Infringement Hiiltsiti dlirerent Slates, and
all lltlgiillon appertaining to Inventions or Pat
rills. Henil Hlump to Ullinoro &s Co., ror palitph
et of slxtv pnees.
LAND CAHICM. LAND WAilllANTH HflKIP.
Contested Land liases prosecuted before the IF.
H. (Jonerai Land Olllce and Depirtment of the
Interior. Private Laud Claims, MIN1NM and
I'KK KMI'TION Claims, and 1IOMKHTKA I) cases
attended tn. Land Hcrlp luM, 8", any Hill acre
Iileces fur sale. This Hcrlpls asslKnable. and can
e located In the name of the purchaser upon any
(lovernmeiit land subject to private entry, at
l.2fi per acre. It is of equal value with Honnly
Land Warrants. Bend Hiamp toUllmore St Co.,
lor pamphlet of Instruction.
A lilt i. A liis , t r I i aiim noini i i.
OtnnomtH. HOLDIKHH and BAILOHH of the
late war, orihelr heirs, are In many cnsesentltled
to money from the llovernment of which tltey
have no knowledge. Write full history of service,
and state amount of pay nnd bounty received.
Enclose stamp to OILMi lit K !(!.. and a lull re
ply, allerexainlimilon, will lie given you free.
i r, ii s iw ii n,
.11 OSSTCVIIU UMt ItlVlfU am nua
wounded. ruptured, or Injured In the lute war,
however slight, can obtain a pensou by addressing
UlLMOKICoiCO.
Cases prosecuted by fllLMOftf! k CO., before
the Bupreme Court of the United Hlates.tlie Court
of Claims and the Hon! hern Claims Commission.
Each department of our business Is conducted
In aseparaie bureau, under charge ol the same
experienced parties, embliiyed by the old firm.
Prompt attention to all business entrusted to
(HLMOItEniCO..Isthussecured. We desire to
win success by deserviuglt.
Auuress: uilimuiimviii.,
62U F. (street,
Washington. D. C.
Everyone That Cnltlrntcs the Hull
should oompare
The Ordinal, ladopondont, Con3cIontlcu3
Rural Now Yorker
with other papers.
The First HurtlmUural & Afrieullural
Authority in America.
An Illustrated Weekly for All
l'arts of Our Country.
Subscribe Noiv !
01 Paper for (t'i pernnnomt No Club Ilnte.
TIia "llnrftl'Un ilia dlMfftminfttor of D I mint1 Wliltn
Proline Corn, lli-iuity ut Huiireu Fotnto. I'uurl Milfft.
ji iid Fifty Bortnui ucwftini ruro vottwUbleB aud lluwcr
hihhIh.
The prnwnt frn fuwlanii trlant flr,tr!nitlmi in the
tnoHt oiifitly und valuahte evur bufure offorni by guy
Jimrnul In the World.
A full WiiiHiratt tl ilcHcnptivo account or n wfiitrflHfnt
1th Hiiccliut'ii Conv Frue Lu uunlir.iiiiLB. tlint all lunv
ludare lor tlifitiHolvMi.
iart lapitui una mum nam wmmrtm ensuie nn w
Ut-iir-m inn nuiincriirein iiy bik 11 itirwiin.
JIUtHtrotioiiH from lAte, No tint runt worthy id ver
meil ta. All uew furm and varden iiJanta or nwdn,
Utcd, and hni-Hrtiully ri;ortcd upon. Wben the nl,e
and fniaMty of the imrfr, tb ntaiiliii(s of Jta world-rp-iiownitd
contributors!, its liidcnd'n e and triiHtwir
thliHiHH, 1 a Fref KfHvI aud I'Unt iJiHtrlbntifiiiK (which
arn deemed by autfuuriltfira aa of iutre value than the
aubauiiptioQ prlctij are oounldere(;Tt ia by far the
Cheapest Country Tlomc Journal in
the World
Kxpcrimfttit uToiindu of 89 arrea owned by "Th
llural Mew Vorkcr" aud worked lu the iutoreat of ita
Uiilaiuspllwra a
It will help yon make money and iiend it Judi
olouvly. Prof. J. W. Baal, of the Michljan AHTlcnItnral Col
lege i "The Rural New Yorker ia now the beat paier."
Prof. K. M. Hhelitin ; of the Kanaaa AxTtcutttiral Crl.
Ipkb: "TheHural New Yorker hiw inoro liiMueuve aud
la more quoted tuau all the ruat put toKether."
Proa. T. T. Lyou; "The Rural la tho beat pane' I
ee."
A mncr for Iha fVm.itrv. VH1aua. CAtv. for the mar
ket (far tinner, imrHery man, fruit grower, small fruit
culturiHt, herdmii, dairy man. apiarian, the acieutiat
everywuere. no aecuouai prujuuicea.
The moat vitroroua and able combination of nractical
writers ovt-r before collected toxelhr in the t:4iiiniia of
any Journal. Oritriiml liliiMtrutlona from life by our
an inta, oi iruiia, arcmieeiure, larut ueijia. auruua,
treea, agricultural linileiueuta, etc.
Enthmiam Throughout the Country-"
lOyQfiO Congratulatry Letters,
Third Year of its Present Management ,
sist year oj its Age.
Tnbllahed weekly. Addreaa
It UltAL XE W YORKER,
78 Duade St., New Yorh
irtohest Medal at Vienna ani PhUad'lphia.
E. & II. T. ANTHONY & CO.,
m BUOADWAY. NEWKOKK,
Maniifacturcrs, Importers & Dealer la
Velvet Frames, Albums, Graptaoscopes,
Stereoscopes & Views,
Engravlng,Chromos,rhoto2Taphs,
And kindred goods Celebrities, Actresses, ie".
PHOTOGRAPHIC MATERIALS
We are Headquarters for everything In the way of
Stereopticons & Magic Lanterns,
Eachstjlebelngthe best of its class In the market.
Beautiful Phototraphle Transparencies of Stat
tiarv and Knaravinii for tho win tow.
Convex alass. Manufacturers of Velvet Frames
(or Miniatures and Convex Ulass flctunrj.
Catalogues of Lanterns and Slide, with dlreo
tlom for usiiik. seut on receipt of ten cents.
nils ior usin
February 1
tun tin.
a,
tiff" A yoiitiK lady lieltift itnltert whloW
jmrly she was In favor of, nv'llel t
wedding party.
CX If you W'IhIi to gt't rldli kvi tuar-
rlt'd. Honey Is not iiiuda with one bee
in the hive.
f 5fT Why U a sttek of candy like ft
liorse? IlepniiRe the more you lick It
the fattier It rops.
f3T " No, Algernon, dear ; I say that
the boy nhitll not he brought up on tho
bottle. Look at It's Krutidpa's noser'
CJT How rapidly a mini lono all In-
- ...
l rest In polities and nutlonal finance
when he shuts the door on his own
thumb.
-B-
All JoIhIiiiiuii who had on a very
ragftl coat was aitked of wbat stuff It
was nmde. " lietlad I I don't know,"
Buys he; "I think the most of It Is made
of fresli air."
lJ3r"You promised to pay that bill
yesterday," suld an anjrry creditor to a
debtor. " Yes," calmly replied the oth
er, "Initio err Is human, to forget, di
vine, and I forgot it."
0" With pleadinu eyes a young lady
looked up from the lilano anil sans: :
" Call me vonr darllnir again." The
young fellow didn't do It, however, for
lie had already 11k tired in one breach or
promise suit.
tZT A very weak tenor in Dublin,
singing feebly, caused one of the ugods"
to shout to an acquaintance across the
gallery, " Corney, what noise Is that V"
" liedtid," said Corney, " I believe It's
the gas whlstlin In the pipe!"
It Is a mistake to suppose that
every body Is thinking about yotv. You
do so much of that kind of work your
self that you exhaust the subject. It Is
a mistake to suppose that the dismally
pious man has had a change of heart.
The change is In his liver, If anywhere.'
tW " And how is me father, your
rlverance?" "Your father has bis head
and shoulders out of purgatory I think
another tialfcrown, Patrick, would lib
erate him. "Och, thin, I'll put me
money in me pocket. If me father has
his head and one shoulder out of pur
gatory, the dlvll himself can't howld
him there."
giT Two readable stories are now cur
rent. One Is that Charles Bu inner was
no musician, and a lady friend once
told him that if he was to buy a music
box set to " Old Hundred " she did not
believe that he could make It play
" more than seventy-five." The other,
that old Mrs. llothschild, when ninety
seven, said to her physician, " Doctor,
you must keep me up for three years
more at least ; It would be discreditable
for a llothschild to go off under par."
A Boy's Composition on Catt.
The New York Mews got the follow
ing from a boy : " The cat which we had
fore we got Mose was yeller, and didn't
have no ears, and not any tail, too, cos
they were cut off to make It go way
from where It lived, for It was ugly, and
It cum to our bouse. One day my
mother sed wudent my father drown it,
cos she new where she cud git a nicer
one. Bo my father be put it in a bag,
and a brick in the bag too, and threw it
in the pond, and went to bis office, my
father did. But the cat busted the bag
string, and when my father cum home
it was lying under the sofa, but cum out
to look at him. Bo they looked at each
other for a long while, and blme by fa
ther sed to my mother : " Wei, you are
a mighty poor band to go a shoppin' for
cats. This is a sight uglier than the
other I"
A Seeond Class Chap. '
Two boys each employed in a differ,
entofilceon Oris wold street, were one
day last September licking a lot of one
cent stamps on a pile of letters at the
Post Office, wben one of them asked :
44 Has your boss got back from bis.
summer trip yet V"
" Yes, has your'n ? "
44 Yes. Has anybody been around to
the office to welcome your boss home!"
44 No, he's been home three days, and
hasn't had a caller."
" Well, I guess he's kiud o' second
class like," continued the other, as he
whacked on a stamp. 44 Over twenty
folks were waiting in the office when
my boss got borne, and they sold if be
didn't straighten up them accounts
they'd make him. trouble right along!
He hadn't hardly landed at the depot
before most everybody knew he was
home."
1