THE TIMES, NEW BL00MFIEL1), PA. FEBltUAKY 21. 1880.
For Tim Times.
The Gossips in Trouble.
""IITHATV no, you don't eay so!
YV Bijulre Kleiiarda goln' to marry
agin, and his wire only dead three
months I Goodness me!"
" ' Tls awful I You my well be aston
Ifthed, Mrs. Wilkes; It Is terrible to
thlnkofl Buch deception I Why at his
wife's funeral, one would have thought
lilru actually broken-hearted ; and then
the crape on his bat Is half a yard
deep l"'
" Ah, me, Mrs. Hanson, there Is no
dependence to be put on 'pea ranees I
The world gets slnfuller and slnfuller
every day, and It can't be covered up
with silk, or broadcloth. As I said to
my husband, Mr. Wilkes, the other
night ; says I, 'Hlmon, things are comlii1
to an awful pass 1 Everybody will git
Into the State's Prison In two years, nt
this rate!' And Bays Bluion, says he,
1 1 don't doubt It, Marlah!"'
" And you and Mr. Wilkes were right,
perfectly right, it Is just sol But this
dreadful conduct of the squire's has
made me more conscious of the truth of
it I Strange that a sensible man should
behave so 1"
" Yes, it Is wonderful I but how did It
gitout, so quick ' The squire ain't no
baud to tell of things, you know."
" Hetty lllgglns found It out, last
night. Hlie was taking tea at the wid
der Town's; you know site's almost
always a-visiting somewhere, though I
wouldn't mention It to a living person
except you, Mrs. Wilkes; and while
they were at supper, the squire rode by
in a new buggy going toward the depot!
People don't get new buggies for noth
ing, you know V"
"No, they don't, Mrs. Hanson vld
derers especially."
"Well, he wasn't gone more than
half an hour, before he came back, driv
ing upon the gallop he didn't use to
aim ne his horse when poor Mrs. Richards
was alive and lo and behold 1 sitting
in the new buggy with him, and his
arms actually around her waist in broad
day-light 1 was a little girlish-looking
woman, in a pink dress and green silk
bonnet ! Only think of it a pink dress
and a green silk bonnet ! and his arm
around her! It Is abominable!"
"My gracious! goodness! 1 want to
know ?"
" Yes, it's every word of its as true as
our minister's discourses, and Mr.
8am p well never exaggerates he's a fine
man, Mrs. Wilkes; and the wldder
Town and Betty run up to the garret
they can see Squire Richard's house
plain from the wldder's garret windows
aud the squire drove up to the front
door, as if the side door wasn't good
enough ! and then he got out of the
buggy aud lifted the woman out on to
the door-stone ! Took her right into his
arms, in broad daylight, and lifted her
on to the door-stone ! "
" My goodness ! as If she couldn't
git out herself! It's Indecent now, aiu't
it?"
" To be sure it is I and he a middle
aged man and a member of the church I
Mr. Sampwell ought to know of It, so
that he could preach a sermon on the
duties of men to their families. Only
think of poor, dear, dead Mrs. Richards'
little daughter Elmetta being ruled by a
step-mother hardly older than herself.
It will break the poor child's heart.
There was a long and Impressive
silence, during which the two amiable
ladles regaled themselves with numerous
pinches of snuff from a box, which had
made its appearance In the lap of Mrs.
Wilkes. No doubt it helped to digest
the momentous matter.
" Wal," recommenced Mrs. Wilkes,
" I think slch doln's la awful I Gettln'
married agin afore his wife is cold!
Now, I 'spose he'll say that he needed
a housekeeper, but that's no excuse, for
uiy Mary Elizabeth or your Julia Ann
would have been glad to have gone.
Mary Elizabeth is a ter'ble favorite with
little Elmetta, aud Mary Elizabeth is
a grand hand at managing children!"
" Yes, Mary Elizabeth is a fine girl,
Mrs. Wilkes, but her health isn't hardly
good enough to take so much care as
there would be In Squire Rlohards' fam
ily with all his company ; but then
Julia Ann could have done it well
enough. Julia Ann is a remarbable
hand for children can't help laming
of them something all the time she is
with them. Her example is so beautiful,
you know."
" Well, for my part, I think somebody
ought to go and talk to the squire about
it. It ain't right for us sisters in the
church to let him go and ruin hiuself
aud darter a marrying nobotjy knows
who 1 He ought to be reasoned with ! "
"That's just what I think, Mrs.
Wilkes, and I called over here on pur
pose to ask you to go with me to the
squire's, to-morrow morning, and talk
with him about it. It's the best we can
do." '-
I'll go, and be glad to t I hope I'm
never backward in doin' my duty."
" Well, I must be going ; I've mnde a
long call ; -to-morrow morning at eight
o'clock, It's best to go early ; I'll call
over for you. Do come and see me, Mrs,
Wilkes 1 You know It's an age since
you've been to our house."
" Dear1 me, Mrs. Hanson, I don't
come half as often as I want to, but I'm
ashamed to keep comtn' all the time.
As'l told my husband, Mr. Wilkes, the
other day, says I, 'Hlmon, I'm actllly
afraid I shall wear my welcome out
over to Mrs. Hanson's.' Aad says he
says Simon, 'I shouldn't wonder If you
did, Marlah 1"
Eight o'clock, the following morning,
found our friends Mrs. Wilkes and Mrs.
Hanson standing' on Squire Richards'
front door step, (the side door wasn't
good enough for the lady In pink, and
of course it wasn't suitable for ladles of
their " calibre,") awaiting to be admit
ted. A frouzy-headed Irish girl answer
ed their rap.
"Is Squire Richards lnV" Inquired
Mrs. Hanson.
" In V to be sure he Is ! Safe In bed,
ma'am! Is It after seein' him that ye
are?"
"Yes; we called to see him on Im
portant business," replied Mrs. Hanson,
frigidly.
"Sure thin and I'll be afther callin'
him; though the ouid Jlntleman's sound
aslape for I hurd him snonrin' but Jest
now when I come forenlut his bed-room
door. Come in with yees !" and Biddy
ushered the ladies Into a room where the
breakfast-table was standing in waiting
for the family.
"Hum!" said Mrs. Wilkes, looking
significantly at the table, "she can't
be no great thing laying abed till break,
fast time! Poor Mrs. Richards! she
UBed to be up in season !"
Just at this moraeut, the squire enter
ed In elegant dishabille that Is without
a coat, and minus shoes and stockings.
He advanced, holding out his hand
cordially.
" Good morning, ladles good morn
ing; I'm a little late, you see. Hope
you'll excuse my toilet ; the fact Is, I
sat up nither late last night, and felt
drowsy this morning. Fine morning,
isn't it V"
"Very enchanting," returned Mrs.
Hanson, who greatly prided herself on
the elegant propriety of her language,
" it Is beautiful enough for a morning
in the gorgeous land lu the Orientals!
But to change the subject ; we called on
a matter of business "
"What's the difficulty now, Mrs.
Hanson t A new carpet for the parson
rge, or is fifty dollars wanted by the
Missionary Society V Come, speak
out!"
"Ah, squire, it's wuss than that!"
put in Mrs. Wilkes, no longer able to
keep silence, " it's something that con
sums your everlastln' and etarnal well
beln'l" " Indeed ! Well, go on." The squire,
nevertheless, looked as if surprised. Mrs,
Hanson drew a long breath, and began ;
" Squire, we called to see if you were
thinking of marryin' again V We "
" You weren't going to propose to me,
were you, ladles? I should be exceed
ingly happy to receive such proposals,
but I should have Deacon Han bo n and
Major Wilkes in my hair forthwith. It
wouldn't do, ladies !"
" No, we supposed you had already
made your selection of the person who
Is to fill your dead wife's place, and we
called to talk with you about her. We
have understood that she was in your
house, and if agreeable, would be pleased
to see her. Our Interest in yourself and
your motherless child hag induced us to
this."
Mrs. Hanson spoke with solemn, dig
nity, and evidently intended to impress
the squire powerfully with ber manner.
" And we want to know where you
got acquainted with her, squire; and
how old she is ; and if she knows how
to do housework I" said Mrs. Wilkes.
"How did you learn anything of
this V asked the squire, evidently some
what nonplussed by the extraordinary
knowledge of his affairs displayed by
his visitors.
" We heard of you're ridln' out with
her, squire ; she drest all in pink, with
a green silk bunnlt ! . Don't look very
well, squire, to see a man of your age
riding out with slch a young gal 1"
" Well, ladles, suppose I should take a
notion to get married V You couldn't
blame me, I don't think. Here I am
with no housekeeper, and an Irish girl
to oversee things, and my home is none
o,f the most orderly. Elmetta needs
some one to care tor her, and it wouldn't
be in nature for a father to be unmind
ful of the Interests of his child !"
" Why, no, of course not. But then,
if you needed a housekeeper, my Julia
Ann would come and look after things.
She's a capital manager and very fond
of children. She and Elmetta sweet
little thing b-would get on admirably 1"
" Yes, or my Mary Elizabeth either I
She'd be tickled to death to come! She
thinks so much of Squire Richards
and his little gal. And, if I do say it,
Mary Elizabeth Is as nice a gal as there
is anywhere I"
" Mary Elizabeth's health is toe feeble
for much exertion, Mrs. Wilkes; you
don't do right to put anything hard up
on her, you know she has a pain In her
side half the time!" Mrs. Hanson was
determined to have it understood that
the hope of the. Wllkeses was only an
ornament to the world.
"Well," said the squire, at last ; "I
don't know what to thluk about It! t
don't believe Elmetta would give up
this " lady in pink," as you call her, at
all ; she's taken a wonderful liking to
her."
" Where did she come from, squire V
You hain't told us anything about her
yet!"
"To be sure, Mrs. Wilkes. Well, I
found her In a milliner's shop! in the
city of Portsmouth."
" In a milliner's shop! then she's a
milliner, Is she V Well, I never I"
" Will you be kind enough to favor
us with an Introduction V I should be
happy to see her before I form an opln
ion of her character." Mrs. Hanson's
tone was very patronizing, and so the
squire seemed to think, for he hesitated
but a moment before he said,
"Well, Mrs. Hanson, It will be an ad
vantage to her to form the acquaintance
of two bucIi estimable ladles as my pres
ent company ; and I will be very glad
to present her to you forthwith. Pray
excuse me for a moment."
" Stop, squire !" shouted Mrs.W likes,
" what's her nameV"
"Jennie Ray," returned the squire,
disappearing in the passage.
"Jennie Ray! a reg'lar story name!
She's some city highflyer, I 'spose!"
" Very likely, Mrs. Wilkes ; but I see
the squire's mind is made up, and it's
no use to say anything. We must
make the best of her."
Just as Mrs. Hanson let fall this mag
nanimous speech, the door opened, and
the squire appeared.
"Ladles," said the squire, bowing po
litely, "permit me to present to you
Mrs. Jennie Ray, my daughter's wax
doll, which I purchased at Portsmouth,
last week, and which arrived day before
yesterday at the depot by express ! The
cost of it was forty-five dollars, and at
present I have no intention of making
it my wife I"
Poor Mrs. Wilkes! Mortified Mrs.
Hanson I With burning faces they took
their leave; and since then, I believe,
they have miraculously minded their
own business.
'Squire Richards was somewhat ec
centric, and knowing how busy-bodies
gossiped about him, and having pur
chased a large-eyed, wax-doll for his lit
tle daughter, the Idea struck blm that it
would be a fine joke on the scandal-loving
people of Wheatwold, to take it
from the packing-case and ride home
with it in his buggy in full view of the
public. We have seen the result.
The squire is still unmarried, and bids
fair to remain thus ; his widowed sister
having established herself as mistress of
his family.
Mrs. Wilkes and Mrs. Hanson
woudn't like to have their unfortunate
mistake made public, and I wish It, as a
particular favor, that those who read
this little sketch will keep it as private
as possible.
More Cold Weather.
Mr. Henry O. Vennor, the Canadian
weather prophet, writes as follows from
Montreal to the Albany .dnus, under date
of February 6 : " The second cold period
in February will reach us on the
22d, 23d, 24th and 25th days. This, it
is probable, will be extremely cold along
the valley 6f the St. Lawrence and Otta
wa rivers, northern United States, and
to the westward. February will certain,
ly end cold. The second heavy snow
storm of the month should, by my
theory, come on us about the 15th, and
this bids fair to be heavy, with drifts and
fairly cold weather. We have yet to get
our heaviest snow falls of the winter,
and some of these are certain to extend
through March. Up to the 15th the
weather should be moist."
Fees of Doctors.
Tbe fee of doctors is au Item that very
many persons are interested in just at pres
ent. We believe tbe schedule for visits Is
$3.00, wbloh would tax a roan confined to
his bed for a year, and In need of a dally
visit, over $1,000 a year for medical at
tendance alone ! And one single bottle of
Hop Bitters taken in time would save tbe
$1,000 and all tbe year's sickness. Ed 8 2t
HT Do you feel that any of your or
gansyour stomach, liver, bowels, or
nervous system, falters in its work Y If
so, repair the damage with the most
powerful, yet harmless, of invigorants.
Remember that debility is the " Begin
ning of the End" that the climax of
all weakness is a universal paralysis of
the system, and that such paralysis is
me immediate precursor of Death.
For sale by all Druggist and Dealers
generally 6 lm
A Reading Lesson.
rpHK following anecdote has been read
1 aloud by a number of persons, in
eluding several professional Gentlemen.
half a dozen college graduates and as
many scnooi teachers, not one of whom
made less than six mistakes In pronun
elation, some reaching twenl y-tlve. It
lias been amended by tbe addition of a
few more words of difficult pronuncia
tion, and Is now presented to give others
an opportunity to distinguish themselves
in the same way :
A Jocund saurellglous son of Belial of
epicurean tastes.who suffered from bron
chills, having exhausted his finances at
the annual Joust, in order to make good
the deficit, resolved to ally himself to a
comely, lenient and docile young lady
of the Malay or Caucasian race. lie ac
cordingly purcliased a calliope, a coral
neoklace of chameleon hue, and a tur
quoise ring, and securing a suite of
rooms at a hotel he engaged the head
waiter as a coadjutor. He then dispatch
ed an erudite letter of the most unexcep
tional chlrography extant, with a senti
mental hemstitch attached, inviting the
young lady to an orchestral concert.
She was harassed, and with a truculent
look revolted at the Idea, refused to con
sider herself sacrlflceable to his desires
and sent a polite note of refusal, on re
ceiving which he procured a carbine and
bowle knife, said that he could not now
forge fetters hymeneal or be inveigled Into
matrlmony.went to an Isolated spot in a
state of squalor severed his jugular vein
and discharged the contents of his car
bine Into his abdomen with a grimace
at the raillery of his acquaintance. He
succumbed, and was lrrefragably dead,
and neither vagaries nor pageantry were
permitted when he was conveyed to the
mausoleum, followed by his enervated
canine.
She Managed It.
The present Belgian prime minister,
Mr. Frere Orban, when he was a poor
law student and named only Frere,
fell in love with the daughter of a rich,
aristocratic family, named Orban. She
returned his love; but her parents op
posed him. When he was about to be
examined, she said to blm :
" If you succeed, come in the evening
to the box at tbe opera, in which I shall
be with my parents and some of their
friends."
" But will they admit me t asked tbe
poor student.
" I will take care of that," replied the
girl.
Frere passed the examination with
great credit, and presented hirnself at
the box. His sweetheart rose as he en
tered and kissed him, in the presence of
the whole company. After that there
was nothing for the parents to do but to
announce an engagment between them.
When the marriage took place, he add
ed, by request of the parents, their more
aristocratic name to his own.
Pass Along the Root.
Instead of asking the blessing on sit
ting down at tbe table, a certain family
have for years been following the cus
tom of repeating verses from the Bible,
each person repeating one, commencing
with the head of the family. A few
days since a young man In the family
brought to dinner with him a friend
who was not aware of the custom, and
was ready at all times to get in a word
of merriment. When they sat down at
the table the young friend was placed
next to tbe head of the family, who be
gan the worship by repeating, " The
love of money is the root of all evil."
The friend took it that the remark was
made to him, and replied by saying.
" Well, pass along the root." A sensa
tion all around."
A Foolish Child.
A sensation was caused at Bradford
Sunday forenoon by the sudden revela
tion that J. M. Jones had clandestinely
married, a few weeks ago, Miss Eva
Jacobs, a girl only thirteen years old.
The mother fainted when it was made
known to her, and is now in a precarious
condition. ' The girl admitted the truth
of the alliance, and Jones having been
sent for declared that he had married her
and commanded the girl to accompany
him immediately. When the family at
tempted to interrupt him he drew his
revolver and threatened to kill any one
who interfered. Legal proceedings will
forthwith be Instituted against him by
iue eurageu lamuy.
A Great Work.
The work on the tunnel under the
Hudson river ,at the foot of Fifteenth St.,
in. x ., is oeing pusned forward as rap
idly as possible. The original plan of
building one tunnel 26 feet in width by
24 in helghth has been given np as im
practicable, and work is begun on two
separate tunnels, which will be 15
feet each in diameter. Both tunnels
will be incased with iron and then arch
ed on the inside with brick, from Jersey
City to the shore on the New York side
of the river. It is estimated that this
change in the original plans will cost
the oompany an additional half million
oi dollars.
COUGH
8Y1WP!
50 Years Hcfore the Public !
Pronounced by ail to be the moat Pleasant
and efllcaclons remedy no la one, for the
enre or Uoagbt, Uolds, Croup, Moarsenessj
Tickling sensation of the Throat, Whooping
Cough, etc. Over a million bottles sold
wiitim me last lew years, it gives roller
wherever used, and has the power to Impart
benefit that cannot be had from the cough
mixtures now In use. Sold by all Druggists at
85 cents per bottle.
SELLERS' LIVER FILLS
are also highly recommended for caring liver
complaint, constipation, tlck-hcadaches. fever
and ague, and all diseases of tbe stomach and
liver. Boldly all by all Druggist at 25 cents
per box. 40 ly
R. E. SELLERS & CO., Pittsburg, Pa.
J. M. OlIlVIK.
J. II. Oibvim
J.M. GIRVIN &S0N.,
FLOUR, GRAIN, SEED & PRODUCE
Commission Merchants,
No. 64 Month Gay, St.,
BALTIMORE, MD.
We will pay strict attention to the sale of all
kinds nl Country Produce and remit the amounts
promptly. 451yr.
3. M. GIRVIN A BON.
JOSSER & ALLEN . , .
CENTRAL STORE
NEWPORT, PENN'A.
Now offer the public
A HARK AND ELEGANT ASSORTMENT OP
DRESS GOODS
Consisting s( all shades suitable for the season
BLACK ALPACCAS
AND
Mourning Goods
A SPECIALITY.
BLEACHED AND UNBLEACHED
MUBLINB,
, AT VARIOUS PRICES.
AN ENDLESS 88LECTION OF PRINT8I
We sell and do keep a good quality of
SUGARS, COFFEES & SYRUPS
And everything under the bead of
GROCERIES !
Machine needles and oil for all makes of
Machines.
To be convinced that ourgoods are
CHEAP. AS THE CHEAPEST,
I3TO CALL AND EXAMINE STOCK.
tar No trouble to show goods.
Don't forget the
CENTRAL STORE,
Newport, Perry County, Pa.
DRUGS. DRUGS.
JACOB STRICKLER,
(Successor to Dr. M. B. Striekler)
PHARMACIST,
NEW BL00MFIELD, PENN'A.
IIAVINO succeeded the late firm of Dr. M. B.
fitrirkler In the Orng Business at his Store room,
on MAIN STREET, two doors Ea.it of the Big
Spring, I will endeavor to make H In every way
worthy the patronage of the public.
Personal and strict atteotfun AT ALL TIMES
given to the compounding and dispensing i'hysl
cians' presciptions, so as to Insure accuracy and
guard against aucidents. . .
REAR 1ST MII)
that my stock has been recently selected and ear
taken to have everything of the BEST QUALI
TY. The public may rest assured that ALL med
icines that leave my store shall be as represented
-PUKE and UNADULTERATED.
I HATE COXSTASTLY 03 IIAXD
HAIK OIL and POMADES
HAIR. TOOTH and NAIL-BRUSHES.
bURGKONS. TOILET. and
CAKKIAGB SPONGE.
rUJfF bOX K8, TOILET POWDERS.
CAST ILK and PANCX ttOAPB.
PERFUMERY OF ALL KINDS,
Together with Freh and Genulae Patent Med i
cinas of every dsscriplion.
ALSO.
Segars, Tobacco, - School Books, &c.
ORANGES, LEMONS & BANANAS,
hi season.
Pure Wlaei and Liquors for Medicinal
Purposes.
To mi, Strictly Oatsli.
By strict attention to business, I hop to merit
the confidence and favor of ths public.
. i . JACOB STRICKLER, Ph. O. '
April M, 1979.