THE TIMES, NEW ULOOMFIELD. PA., NOVEMBER 11, 1879.
rrofcsslonal Cards.
JE. JUNKIN, Attorney-at-Law,
t New Bloomneld, Ferry eo., Pa.
-Oino Next duor to the residence of Judge
Juukln. ou
AM. MArtKBL. Attorney-at-Law,
. New Blooiuneld, Ferry county, Pa.
Oirlce opposite the Mansion Uouse.and
throe doors east of the Post-OUlce.
y KW1S POXTKU,
ATXOltNEV AT UW
NBW BLOOMFIELD, PERRY CO., PA.
sT-01alms promptly secured 1 collected
Writings and all legal business carefully attend
ed to. , dJyl
CHARLES H. SMILEY, Attorney at Law.
New Bloomneld, Perry Co. Pa.
r Olllos two doors eatt ul Joseph Smith's
hotel. i . " August 2, 1873
TITM. A.8PONHLER, AttorneT-a.-Law,
y Ofllce adjoining his residence, on East
Main street, New Bloomneld, Perry oo., Pa. 8 1 ly
YITM. N. BEIBEBT, Attorney-at-Law,
YV New Bloomneld, Perry eo., Pa.
Bloomneld, 8 S3 It.
TKWIS POTTER, notary public. New Bloom.
Weeds, Bonds, Mortgages and Leases carefully
prepared and acknowledgements taken. All
Kinns oi Jt -ensiun ana nutiuij tiitotirn uinwu .nu
certtned, will also take depositions to be rer.d In
utoourt intne united states. t tuiy
rHlA8.J.T,McINTIRB, Attorney-at-Law,
i . New Klnomllld.Perrvco..Fa.
-All profnpflloimllui slues", promptlyandtalth
cuiiy attenueu to. s x it.
. r A unnnta.vw
JUSTICE OF THE PEACE and GENERAL
COLLECTOR, NbwGbhmamtowh, Perryco ,Pa.
- ltemtttanceswlllbe made promptly tor an
uoiiecuons maae. i
0HA8. A. BARNETT, Attorney-at-Law,
New Bloomtteld,Perryco.,Pa
.Offlce on high street. North side, nearly op
posite the Presbyterian Cliurch. 8 2 ly
M.
L. LIGGETT. Attohnt-at-Law,
Newport, Perry County. Pa,
Having permanently located at Newport, will
give prompt and careful attention to all busl
uess matters commuted, to nis earn.
oillce, No. 30 North Second Btreet.
Newport, April 2f 1878.
D
R. R. M. ALEXANDER,
SURGEON DENTIST,
New Bloomneld, Perry County, Fa.
Ofllce on Carlisle, Rt.,one door South of J. E. and
judge junxin's law omce. jiverymtng ueiong.
intr lothe nrofesslnn done In the best manner.
All Work Wakrahteu. Terms moderate. 28
0.
P. BOLLINGER, M. D ,
having located In Newport, offers his Froles
slonal services to all who may need them.
Chronic diseases of every description cured.
S. Office In Dr. Shatto's building, 4tU Btreet
March 4, 1878.
JEORGE H. MARTIN
GENERAL AGENT.
BLAIN. PERRY COUNTY. PA.
Speeial attention given to the collection of
.iiaims, ana anyomer ousiness entrusted to mm
will receive prompt attention. Charges moderate.
April. 19th. 1877.
DEATH DEFEATED. .'
FOR over 50 years SELLERS' LIVER PILLS
have been the standard remedy for Liver
Complaints, Costlveness, Bick Headache, Pain in
Shoulders or Back, Dizziness, Coated Tongue,
Fever and Ague, and all diseases arising from a
deranged state of the Liver or Stomach. Thomas
Adams, of Big Sandy, Ky , says: "Sellers' Pills
tiave saved hundred of dollars In doctors' bills In
this country." It. K. 8EELERS & CO., Prop'rs,
Pittsburgh, Pa.
THE GREAT BLOOD TONIC,
For the cure of all diseases arising from Impure
Blood, and for Invigorating and strengthening
the vital organs. Are you weak, nervous, debili
tated, pale and emaciated T Have you lost your
appetlcer Have you nausea, pain In the back,
eVc. If so, Dr. Lidsey's Blood Searcherwlll drive
out the disease and bring back the BLOOM OP
HEALTH. Pimples, Bolls, Erysipelas, Tetter,
Salt Rheum &o are but surface Indications of
Blood Diseases; and Dr. Lidsey's Blood Searcher,
by pui tfylng the svstem, softens the skin and
beautifies the complexion. Sold by all druggists.
M per bottle. R, E. SELLERS 6 CO.. Proprie
tors, Pittsburgh ,Pa O 48
w tftln a an a- gm
ULU ANU HtUABLE.
Db.,Saxfobd,8.Liveb IhyioobatorS
i a Standard Family Remedy for
iaeasea of the Liver, Stomach Jg?
Vegetable. It never i
Cathartinartri
jxon.o. v
5TRT
a r- rt .eR .All i rt
11? Invicrorato
I haa been naedi
i P 1 U B L1W . .n m7 Practice
ll 1 H and bv the Public,
Sll J l. for more than 35 veam
$ H V with TI Tl TYrVWs1 Art tul Aaisl c.
il 4COU1W,
SEND FOR CIRCULAR.
S. T. V. SAKFORD. M.fJ.. " 2H7T.-?
I tiZWTOUlf nii'V
J naiiWIllIT WIU. TELL VOl ITS BirCTlTIOX. !
ssjstaaJ
June 24, 1B79.
OPlDf.1
4 HOKPHINEtiUKbM
lalsl and spctililjr turMl. rata
lia. No publicity. S.ua alamp
for tali parliealant. Dr. Carllaa,
IM t. Clark M. Calcafa, 1U.
JOB PKINTINQ of every description neatly
and promptly executed at Keasonahle bates
at the Bloomneld TlmesSteain Job Office.
X H
tiara
'dF-M U VS "
m B HDD ."
L fj H M (&sf
ail in .r
I 1 BiH
JtiOI fPB g I ISInvitforator!!
4 " .v'.t & II 1 f j" B K.
Philadelphia Advertisement.
Ready Mixed Paints !
JUCAS'
READY MIXED PAINTS !
NOWATER.NO CHEMICALS, NO BENZINE,
BUT A PURE
Oil. PAINT,
READY FOR USB.
Numplo Ofirl.
80 BEAUTIFUL SHADES OF PAINT
BENT BT MAIL.
IT 18 PUT ON LIKE OTHHB PAINT. MADE
WITH LEAD AND OIL. VIZ: NICELY
BKUSHKD OUT. NOT FLOWED
ON LIKE WATEH PAINT.
TRY IT,
And Ton Will Prove It to be the Best
Liquid Faint In the Market.
JOHN LUCAH Sc CO.,
Philadelphia,
MANUFACTURERS OF
Swiss and Imperial French Grccu,
WHITE LEAD, COLORS,
VAUNTS II ES, &c
t3T" For Sample Cards apply to F. Morti
mer, New Bloomlluld. Pa., or to John Lucas &
Co., Philadelphia.
EIGLER&SWEARINGEN
Successors to
HHAFFNEK, ZIEQLER CO.,
Importers and Dealers to
Hoftlery, Glove,
lllbbons, Smpenders,
THREADS, COMBS,
and every variety of
TRIMMINGS & FANCY GOODS,
No. 36, North Fourth Street.
PHILADELPHIA, PENN'A
Agents for Lancaster Combs.
w.H-
KENNEDY
TRIMBLE, BRITTON A Co.,
WHOLESALE GROCERS,
No. 80S MARKET BTREET,
PHILADELPHIA. 1 1
gOWER, POTTS & CO.,
BOOmLLEBS. STATIONERS,
And Dealers in
CURTAIN & WALL-PAPERS.
BLANK ISOOKM
Always on hand, and madeto Order.
Not. 530 Market and 623 Minor Streets ,
PHILADELPHIA, PA
ALSO .,,..
sV Publishers 0 1 Sanders 'New Hnnrlar. - x
Brooks'Arithmetlcs. Also, Robert's Hlsto'ryof
theUnltedHUtes.Felton'sOutllue Maps.&o. ,
LOYD, SUPPLEE & WALTON
WHOLESALE '
HARDWARE HOUSE
No. 62S Market Btreet!
Philadelphia, Penn'a.
JANNEY & ANDREWS
WHOLESALE
GROCERS,
No. 123 MARKET BT.,
Philadelphia.
QRAYBILL" & CO.,
Wholesale Dealers! n
Oil Cloths, Carpets,
Shades, Brooms,
Carpet Chain, Wadding,
Batting, Twines, &c,
And a flue assortment of
WOOD and WILLOW WARE,
No. 420 Market street, above 4th,
PHILADELPHIA.
Philadelphia AdrcrtlRcments.
R.
M. BARTLEY, '
m. o. pmrmi & co.,
IWANlrACTHMKHS)
AND WHOLESALE DEALERS IN
BOOTS 8c SHOES,'
3l NORTH THIRD BTREET,
riIIL.AD12I.riUA.
SW Hpenlat attention Riven to orders.
Junes, 187U.pd
WAINWRIOHT & CO.
WHOLESALE GROCERS
AND
TEA DEALERS,
North Bast Corner ol 2nd and ArchHtreet,
Philadelphia Penn'a,
J.
S. DOUGHERTY
WITH
D. J. II OAR & CO.,
WHOLISJiLB
BOOT AND SHOE
WAUEHOUSE,
B18 MARKET STREET,
Philadelphia, Penn'a.
JJALL, SHENK & CO.,
405 & 407 Market Street,
lMilladclphla,
(Old Stand ot Barcroft ft Co.,)
WHOLESALE DEALERS
IN
0003W.
January, 1879.
Red SoleLeather Depot
EDWARDS & CASTLE,
88 NORTH FOURTH BT., PHIL'A.
LEATHER AND FINDINGS,
Full Une o Sett Phlla. OiV and Kin. EM C
Brand, 4 3m
PROF. HARRIS RADICAL CURE
rOB BPEEMATTORnCGA.
11 1."
"8EIVIINA0. PASTILLE"
A alu.ble Diaoovf rr
ana N. Ippir1uie In Med
i:a! 6rlrn, an entirt-lv
Now anunoilllr.lTtfli.rf.
Ive ItvlnedTfurllieipredr
aiu priiiaiient Cure ol
Bsmln.l Emlaion Jk
Impotenoy by the onlr
i iiiiiM niiHii ...mill true way, tIbi Dlreok
t""i- . Application toiheprin.
filial seat f ih UIimm, acllnn hjr Ab.orptlon. and fxer-
"P'rif le inuni, on tin- Bemlnal V.ilo'le. Elaol
nlHtory Cucta.f roati .t. Ul.ndanu Urethra. tKum
villi. K.medyl. a;iii.l.U with no pain or lui-utirenlenc.,
I la iil. klr dLtolrcu and non uliiotl.r.l, priKluclnnan
Immf itlato im,ihli,n ami rnloralUa eftVcl upon the Jei.
unci mrvoua uraai.alioni wrecked Irom aell-aliuM
ami ri.-e..e., tlopplnu il,o drain Irnm the iv.tem, reilor.
liKt't mind to hi-nltli ami Bound memory. remoYinr
llienimiiOBaorBlithl-, Nervoua Doblllty, Conrualon
ofl J -ta, AvrraionloSocicty, Blo.Eto.amllheaiiHr.
ane , r premntiiro old op. ufnally ai-compaiivlna thl.
tr,..jli re.tortiic prrlrcl Eexunl Vigor, aherell hal
linen ! i-tnant liiryrara, J lila mode of tr olni.nl hai itoad
the I M I t very Mvora cniei, and li now a nronouneed
n.fe. IlrniT. are ti0 luiirh pirwrlnrd In thfie Irouhlri,
ar.d, nii iatty enn Irar wlim-.. In. with but Intl. u ...J
leriiinnriilRii'Ml. There U no Nnilfente alwut thl Prepara.
turn, I'.;"-' eiil nl.er,-ntliti, m.nhlp.ui to pn.ltlvelv a-uaran.
m; n i i. inL-iiDa. xiuruia I
-During Hi. tl(ht
Ji ani i. t It haib -euiu nernl ue. wa have lliuuiaudl
ol ti-.!i!ii.iriljj a. In In value, ami ll li now eoncerd.
d by Ihe Mrillral rrr c-n to bo Ilia nioit rational
mean, yt t ilUuuwrcd nt rvni'hr iff mill eurinfr 11.1. vr
em tm ihlo. thai ll veil tnn . be Ilia i auie of uutold
rlret t n p-rtne.iient curi'
boxe. InMine thr-o l.i I uin Hill, u III ),, ,m and
restore vlror, In thawnr'trtiwii. 4 7. roll DXafiOTIOMS
for n.i
SenilroralM-rliitivel'umpiilrtrl.Ini An.tomlealX
Illu.tralloii,,!,:, !, mil p.nvliK e the niuat .eepHcal
)
jnai iieyna M rnt'irrd to perlect manhooif, and
Otted forth, dulle. of lite, tame a i II never .ir.VrJi
Bent Sealed for tlautr. t in nna. Ri.inT.v
HARRIS REMEDY CO. MF'Q. chemists,
M.rn.t.ndBth. 8I. 6T. I.CUI8, MO.
POUTZ'S
HOR8E AND CATTLE POWDERS
w rj ""? orprwr.nt Sl.saisf
Vkb, If rouui Powder, are luedlntlmn.
touu'.PowdepjwIII curei and pre ven t Hoo Cnoumi
Youtz Powder, will prevent (Urn lu i'owu e
peclally Tnrkeys.
Foutz Powder, will Increase the qaantlty of milk
nd cream twtinty per eeub, and make the butter flrin
and awedt
Konw. Powder, will rare or prevent ilmoat rt T
Dia.A.l that Horso. and Cattle are heir to.
fooTii'. Powniu wiu, iy SiTiarionoK .
uld everywhere.
DAVIS X. iroUTB, Proprietor.
BaXiTIMORB, Md.
Prlrat. lloapjtal. aus
S.Clark 8t,, Chicago,
IH.(QrapMlalty,.ll
rrlvat., Cbraalo and
r . m a I a DUaaaaa.
Coa.uluUoa fr...
.ftdlef ana Oeatl.
a.a, Md an. dollar
far aataalaa of weal
r a b b . r f nod., and
valuabUt latoraaatloo
hr .xprv... Kella.
bte rraial. Fill., I.s
Kr boa. Private
a. aa. Mara, for
Ladle, dariag aoa
nneinent. A n.w work, prle. 60
oent. by malt Ify.u
rle. af Mature, PbiNl.
.UHry of Marriara. Or.
?an. of 0. Deration,
llMiaM. el Yoath aod
M.ahMd; a w..ltli r
ohoto. aod valuabl. In
formation, of lot.reat
to both mic. Motbltif
otrenalv. la good taata
aod rauaaoteak Iafor.
matl.a a . v . r before
publl.had.. No family
boo Id b. wlthoat Ik
C3
CO
Idreai, Dr. A. I
. 'JOS flarf. St
IM PORTANT NOTICE. The subscriber
late ol the firm of Rhoades Bmitb, would
respectfully inform the citizens of BLAIN
and vicinity, tuat he has opened a WAGON
MAKKIt B110P, and Is prepared to make new
wavons and repair old ones at short notice. and
at from TKN to I WKNTSf percent, cheaper than
the old firm.
-Glre me a call. Satisfaction euaranteed.
, , . . JACOB 8MIXH.
af Blatn, August 8,1867.
NOTICK. The underslf-ned citizen of Ty
rone township. Perry County, Pa., hereby
gives notice to any and all prrsons, not to tress
pass on his lands to hunt, kill or shoot any gains
ot any kind. Any person violating the above will
be dealt with according to law.
August Uti, 187.. J IJKKEMIAH KECK.
y AltlETY ST011E I
HEMOVItll TO
M cut Eud of (he MbdrIou llonoe,
NEW ULOOMFIELD, PA.
Just Enlarged and on Hand a New
STOCK OF
DRY GOODS,
GROCERIES,
BPICES,
TOBACCO,
CIGARS,
. UUEENSWARK,
GLASSWARE,
TINWABE,
And a Full Vnrletr or Nollons, c
Also have on Hand
ALL STYLES OP PICTURR FRAMES,
TOILET BRACKETS. WALL POCKETS,
HATS RCKA8, 5i0.. &0., &C. &C, 0 ,
All of which we will sell at astonishingly
LOW PJZICKN,
To suit the times. Give us a call and sare money.
NO TROUBLE TO SHOW GOODS I
. Country Produce taken In Trade. -St
Don't forget the place.
Nor.lT.ms-tf. VALENTINE BLANK.
Ifyou are a man of biwlnouii, wciikMufiijTyUiortlraf 1
U your ilutlM, atiI( fltit.niiHNte ami tin hi
1 J on ttrm man of Ictffim, tHIlng orer your Riltlnlali.
work to rcitoro bmin nmn nnd waMo, qW
WW WXTaWO
l( rTl ireyiunT and Bitrcrinp; from any lr!:wrt tloa
or UUiliiathmilf j oa aru n.urrlt d or Ht'irlr, nit! or
7yoiuitf,aullullujri'0 a pour liuoltli or uuurululi- rw
lnr on a rvvl of hI l.-ra-, ri ly on If
iioerer y o are, whoroTor yon are,wben-rcryott (ea
Uiutrwu-BTitoian"C'lj clcvuifdnsrUinliirror M
rtimuUiiiitr, withottt intoxicating, tJ: WS
Hare ymi rfipernfl, kldvrn or trfnnrwnnnrfnfnf, die.
foaiwotUie ivim ifri, bmrrln, otrixf, lit er, or neriar
Itiu will homtri'tt if youuae
. t0V BtT!S
If yoaarenfmply wtmkand low rTp.ritJ, try(t1 Bay 1ft.
Intlit uion It. Y our drutrirl korpn 1 1.
may mmr yonr life. It boa aavc hadrcda,
ftrrp Cmgh rrli thtiwwtit,iiifMtn !wt. Aatt cblllrn.
The llnp 1'n.l fr Slntimi-h, Llvtr tnd Kfclny,,Wmfriftrto.ill
other. Curai by Atrtot-fiMrrn. It t nrf4M-L Ak dniintUls.
t. I. C. ban b'kitesiu.,tTwWtablerora
tmtWt oiifurii, tolar-(M.r nttrootk. laWRDDB
Abovt IA by dnitraiiU.llap Illttm M(t.,Cn., Rm-hMtr, N. Y
4w
BOOCCSPolELLIOn
A liir(E, new rihI rnmplct QnldA to
vvedlOt.k, vudteiiiiifiKt wild many
other-, t M- fiditiwinjr cTia.iilrrti A
i'iiinpctit Voit.iiiUoiMl, tkOcciinn ol
tViff, KvlttiiicMt vt ViiKlniry. Tem
I 'rititf nt. t-oiiii'ib:n and hi mm pi ll
li.r, Htvrflitr in oititn. cahm anrl
l . " urunnrtiuin, flu. ic io nufliantli.
l.,re. I..v,.flll.nn.. I -l.i...
pf married wnnien. etc., liielltilinie lllttoaaea rrculinr to
women, their c.u.ea and In-alinent. A book for private
. and mmid.tatercatlln. ot 820 tinr.,., vilh fuUi'lata ha.
graving., bv mail, lealed fur SO cent!.
,.-!J.,,Prl,ate Modioal Artvlser.''
OTSypnlli..(4orjurrlia,.oiFet, tjlrlcturr.Varirwiele.
c., alao on Si ennattorhcaa. Seittal Debility, and Im
r otonoy, ft urn Sell.abuae and Kaeeaai a. raullnit Seminal
tmlialoiia, N, rvoiiatie.a, Avrrilott Io Sorlely.Confuilonol
Ideaa, Pltyali-al deeay, DlnitiaM ol alltt, Deleeli.e Memory,
Lom ol seaual Power, le. makinic nuirrlae. Iroprooer
or unhappy, rlvln. IrenlmetiL and a treat many
valuable rereipta fur tlta cure of all private dtjeaiMi
lie, ever 00 pl.t. ., on rente. '
. '"Medienl Advloe."
itii fB n''0?llu,1"i Womuobcod, 10 eer.li, or
11 three In one nicely bound volume, l. They euiilaln
eoo p.itee and over llMI lllualratlun., nnbraclnf verv
Slnl?f '"r'!',T"t ,''.,t.cn, ,h"' "o"1' noIn, and
rnuch that It nut pul.lliht d In any olher work. 'J'lie torn.
blued voluma a iKiaitlvely tlie beat Popular Medical Book
pulillalted, and tlioeeillaintlillrtl after tttint It can hav,
their money relundrd. The Author la an experienced
I nyaiclan of many yeare practice, fne la well known,) nj
the ailvlce alven, ami Unlet for treatment laid down, will
oe found uf (treat value lu thoa. aitrrcrinr from impuritle.
of the tyatem, early errurt.loit viRor, or any ol Ihe nutner.
out troub ca eomltii under Ilia head of "PrlT.te" or
Chromo dieaee fleutln aineievolumee.oreomplet.
Inona, for Price In Slampa, Silver or Currency. (Uoii.ul
Ullon eonfliletitiol, and lellere are pr .mplly anrl Iraukly
antwered without eharre.) AdtlreHt Dr. BtrH.' Ditneri
S.ry, la N. 8lh St., St. LouU, Mo. (B.tabllahed 1847.)
tjT For n by New. Dealer. AGENTS wanted.
B BUPTtiHK to aend him their namea and iddrrit, B
and hereby aaeure them that they will Irani f
aumathlug Io thur advaatas.. itot . Xrua.
E8TATK NOTICE. Notice Is hereby (riven
that letters of administration on the estate
0. 8. Toomy. late of Juniata township, Perry Co.,
Pa., deceased, have tieen granted to the under
signed, residing In the same township.
All persons Indebted tosaid estate are request
ed to make Immediate payment and those having
claims to present them duly authenticated lor
settlement to
. TH0S. Yf. TRE88LER.
September 2, 1879. Administrator.
ESTATE NOTICE. Notice Isherebyglven
that letters of arimlnUtratlnn nn fha Aetata,
of Daniel Fortenbaugh, late of Rye township,
Perrv OOUntV. Pa . dnn'rl.. havA tMn trnntad fn
Barah L. tortenbaugh, residing in the same
township.
All persons Indebted to said estate arerequested
to make immediate rtavment and thnaehavitie
clalmslto presenUhemduly authenticatedforet-
IIDIUDUt.
SARAS Im FORTKNBAUGH.
Julyg, 1679. Administratrix.
HflRQF Send 25 cents In stamps or ourrency
nUIIOt for a new HOKSH HOOIf Tr trti
all diseases, has 35 rine engravings showing posi
tions assumed by sick horses, a table of doses, a
Rnfllf ,arKe collection of valuable recipes,
uuurv ru)es for telllDK the aeeof a horse, with
an engraving showing teeth of each year, and a
large amount ot other valuable horse Informa
tion. Dr. Win. H. Hall says: "I have bought
books that I paid 15 and 110 for which I do not
like as well as I do vours." nknu for a cik.
CULAB. AGENTS WANTED. B. J. KEN-
uaijLi, unosourgn rails, vt. 20 ly
By sending 86 cents, with age,
JUDGE bight, color of eyes and halr.you
ir'aaii will receive bv return mail a
ViirnJiire correct ploture of your future
lULllst-Lit. husband or wife, with name, and
uaie oi marriatre.
Address. W. POX, Box 77 Pultonvllle, N. Y.
Angust 26, 1S79. Bra.
A FULL ASSORTMENT
OF
HARDWARE,
IRON & STEEL
WILL BE FOUND AT
OUR NEW STORE-ROOM.
J. MOJRTIMEll,
Xeto ltloom field.
MHM jagy ltl.kAl,K aClliX.. MMiarfavlw,
1
j , . ' uriur.r.ioiii, Ainiea io nuiliatiQa,
Advl to wive., rrnatlliitiun. Ill e.u.ra, Celebaey and
Matrimony eoln,nr.,l. (.'oiikuk.1 ilnli... Conciptlim, Con.
Suenietit, Ijoya anil Court.lilii Iuu.eillnienttloMarri.ae,
In mala and. lem.le, Science fl It' tirodurtlon. Smile life
com i ereil. Liwufl jri
Now he wai Cured of 8wearlng.
John came lb and Inquired whether
dinner was ready, and was told that It
was not.
"Well, why In the devil Isn't ItV"
said he.
" Because," she coolly replied, " the
wood was so wet that the fire would
not burn.
" Why, Mary, what is the matter
with you t Are you crazy, or have you
been drinking?"
"Neither," she said, and quietly pro
ceeded to put on the dinner. .
The beef didn't melt like butter be
tween the teeth It rather resisted all at
tempts at mastication, like so much In
dia rubber; and John finally blurted
out :
" What makes this beef so Infer
nal tough V"
Mary looked up archly and replied :
" Well, Johq, I suppose you went
down to the butcher's, and without
knowing the difference, picked out a
piece of old stag that hadn't been
fed for a month."
John jumped up, looked at his wife in
dismay, and wanted to know what such
language from her lips meant.
" It means this, John ; you are the
head of the family, and just as long as
you think it manly to swear In my pres
ence I Intend to do the same 1 If you
don't like to hear it, you know how to
prevent It."
The cure was radical, and to this day
Mary has never been compelled to ad
minister another dose of Dr. 's pre
scription. Settling a Grammar Wrangle.
Two grammarians were wrangling the
other day, one contending that it was
only proper to say, "My wages Is high,"
while the other noisily Insisted - that the
correct thing was, " My wages are high.
Finally they stopped a day laborer,
and submitted the question to him.
" Which do you say, Your wages Is
high," or 1 Your wages are high?"
" Oh, off wid yer nonsense," he said,
resuming his pick ; " yer nay thur ov ye
right ; me wages is low, bad luck to it."
A Misunderstanding.
" Does that mulekTck ?"
" Yes, sir with his fore feet."
" Oh, that's no very great fault. Here
is the purchase money."
Later : " You said, sir that this mule
did not kick except with his fore feet,
and I vow he is the worst kicker with
all of his feet that I ever saw."
"That Is what I told von, sir he
kicks with his four feet."
t?"A tar-heel In Catawaba county,
North Carolina, wanted to name his
baby a Bible name, but couldn't find one
to suit. He says :
" The hymn book Is next to the Bible,
so I tuck the hymn book, and thar I
seed a name I liked powerful much.
Hit was 'Amazin Grace,' but, you see
we had a gal named Grace. Bo I lowed
I'd name thls'n Amazin Ann. That is
her name, Brother Bilk."
And forwith the parson proceeded to
christen the baby "Amazin Ann."
PirA well-known French painter ad
vised a young lady to practice carrying
a pitcher of water on her head, as It gave
a graceful gait. We saw a man the
other day who hadn't a graceful gait,
and be was carrying about a pltcberful
too, but it wasn't water that bothered
his bead.'
(3 It was a mean man who slipped
his hand between the heads of a young
man and young lady In the front seat,
as the train entered a tunnel. He said
afterwards the young man's beard was
very stiff but the pressure on the other
side of bis hand felt like the tips of a
fur tie.
egg A person who bod obtained a free
railroad pass ssked the ticket agent if
"he could not embrace his wife,"
" Probably," the official answered, "but
I prefer to see her before promising
positively."
fy" Nothing is made In vain!" ex
claims the divine; but the next moment
as an aggregation of silk, lace and feath
ers sweep up the aisle, he realizes that
something is maiden vain. ,
fjrThe man who could not find words
enough to express his gratitude will be
pleased to hear that the new edition of
Webster's Dictioaary, just published,
oontalnes five thousand new words.
' (j Hogs may be planted In any kind
of soil; they take root anywhere.
CJT Eve was the first female lawyer,
she practiced in the appleate court.