THE TIMES, NEW 11L00MFIELD. PA., OCTOBER 21. 1879;
Professional Cards.
TR. JUNKIN, Attorney-at-Law.
New llloomllrld. Perrt CO.. P,
- Onice Next iloor to the residence otjudge
Juukiu. "
AM. II ARK EL, Attnrtiey-atLaw,
. New Hlocmilleld, terry county, P.
oillca oiiosHo the Mansion House. aud
three door, oftst of the Post-OUlce.
J- KW19 l'OTTJilt,
ATTUltNKV AT LAW,
NBWBLOOMKJELD, PEURV CO., PA.
M-Clnlms promptly secured collected
Wrltlugsaud all legal business oarefullyattend
edto. Mil
CHARLES U. HMILK Y, Attorney at Law.
New Bloomtteld, Perry Co. Pa,
v Olllce two doors e;ut ol Joseph Hmltli'i
hotel. August 2, 1872,
itru a . HP( INSI.KK. Attornev-at-Law.
V Olllce adjoining Ills residence, oil Kast
Malnstreet, New Blooiulleld, Perry co.. Fa. 82 ly
1TTM. N. HK1BEKT. Attorney-at-Law,
y NewBlooiiiUeld,PerryooPa.
liioomlleld, 3 331V.
TKWI8 POTTEK, notakt public, New Bloom
A Held. Perrv Co.. Pa.
Deeds, Bonds, Mortgages and Leases carefully
prepared and acknowledgements taken. All
kliulsof Pension and Bounty papers drawn and
eertllled, will also take ucjiosiiiousto D6 reto. 10
any court In the United Mates. 7 luly
Oil A8. J. T , Mcl N Tl It R, Attorney-at-Law ,
New liioomlleld, Perry co., Pa.
T-Allprofe.8toimlbU9luessproniptlyaudfaltb.
fully attended to. 3 2 It.
-ITTM, A. MOlllUSim,
V JITSTICK OK THE PEACE and GENERAL
COLLECTOR, NewOehmantown, I'erryco., Fa.
Wltemtttaneeswillbe made promptly for all
Collections made. 744 '
O HAS. A. BARNETT, Attorney-at-Law,
New Bloomlleld,Perryco.,Pa
tOlflce on high street. North side, nearly op
posite the Presbyterian Church. 3 Sly
ML. HUtJETT. Attobnbt-at-Law, '
Newport, Perry County. Pa.
Having permanently located at Newport, will
give prompt and careful attention to all busl
ness matters committed to his eare.
. OIIlce.No. 30 North Second Street.
Newport, April 2? 1878. -
U. R. M. ALEXANDER,
SVRGEON DENTIST,
New Blooiulleld, Perry County, Pa.
Olllce on Carlisle, St., one door South of J. E. and
.Judge Junkin's law olllce. Everything belong
lug to the profession done In the best manner.
All Wohk Waukasted. Terms moderate. 28
0
P. BOLLINGER, M. D ,
having located In Newport, offers his Profes
sional services to an wno may neeo. inem.
Chronic diseases of every description cured.
4.0lUceli Dr. Shatto's building, 4th Street
March 4, 1878.
G
EORGE H. MARTIN
GENERAL AGENT.
BL-AIN. PEllItT COUNTY. PA.
Special attention given to the collection ot
siaims, ana any otner ousiness entrusiea to mm
will receive prompt attention. Charges moderate.
April, 19th, 1877 .
DEATH DEFEATED.
FOR over 50 years SELLERS' LIVER PILLS
have baen the standard remedy for Liver
Complaints, Costlveness, Sick Headache, Pain lit
Shoulders or Back, Dizziness, Coated Tongue,
Fever and Ague, and all diseases arising from a
deranged stite ot the Llveror Stomach. Thomas
Adams, of Big Sandy, Ky., says: "Sellers' Pills
have saved hundred of dollars In doctors' bills in
this country." R. E. SEELERS & CO., Prop'rs,
Pittsburgh. Pa.
THE GREAT BLOOD TONIC,
For the cure of all diseases arising from Impure
Blood, and for Invigorating and strengthening
the vital organs. Are you weak, nervous, deblll.
tated. pale ami eAaclated f Have you lost your
appetite? Have yon nausea, pain In the back,
&c. If so, Dr. Lldsev's Blood Searcherwlll drive
out the disease and bring back the BLOOM OF
HEALTH. Pimples, Bolls. Erysipelas, Tetter.
Salt Rheum. to., are but surraoe Indications of
Blood Diseases: and Dr. Lldsey's Blood Searcher,
by purifying the system, softens the skin and
beautifies the complexion. Sold by all druggists.
II per bottle. R. K. SELLERS & CO., Proprie
tors, Pittsburgh , Pa G 48
F OLD 'AND RELIABLE. 2
Db,i Sanford's . Liver Invkjobator!
is a Standard Family Remedy for
lliueases ol the Liver, Stomach S$5
Sand Bowels. It is Purely P-5
jDobilitates It is
5 .. .
by the x
more tlinn 85 yen 5
m
nuprecedented results
FOR CIRCUL1P
. T. W. SANFORD, M.D., wB?ScA?v
C AMI DHI UU1ST WILL TEI.L VIII l Itlrni'V.
?svvvsvsvysvivvasvw
June 21, 1879.
opium:
m4 MOKPIIINB htMl thM
1. ly And an.AiMv aurJ. P.iu
i.. Nopubluit,. Scad k)4atp
r full nftriituiArt. Dr. tirllu.
0 . CWk t Ukja, III.
TUB flltXTIXG ot every description neatly
and iriniitlv executed at Keasonaple Kates
at tue uioonineia iimessteam jod uiuce.
gfl 1 U tiBt
ffonie.rMIlBW0 i
'lilt! t5in my prftctioeji
III J U I ami by the t)ublin!
iV SEND
Phlliulelphln Advertisements
Heady Mixed Paints !
jJUOAS'
READY MIXED PAINTS !
NOWATER.NO CHEMICALS, tfO BENZINE,
BUT A PURE
Oil,
READY F 0 it US K.
80 BEAUTIFUL (SHADES OF 1A1M
BENT BY MAIL.
ITIH PUT ON LIKE OTHER PAINT. MADE
WITH LEAD AND Ol L, VIZ: NICELY
BRUSHED OUT. NOT FLOWED
ON LIKE WATER PAINT.
TRY IT,
Aud Yoa VIIl Prove It to be the Vest
Liquid l'ulut in the Market.
JOHN LUCAS Sc. CO.,
Philadelphia,
MANUFACTURERS OF
Swiss and Imperial French Green,
WHITE LEAD, COLORS,
VARNISHES, &o
t5T For Sample Cards apply to F. Morti
mer, Now Bloomlleld, Pa., or to John Lucaa A
Co., Philadelphia.
EIGLER & SWEARINGEN "
Successors to
SHAFFNER, ZIEGLER ft CO.,
Importers and Dealers lnf
Hosiery, Gloves,
IlibboiiM, NiiHenlerM,
THREADS, COMBS,
and every variety ol
TRIMMINGS & FANCY GOODS,
No. 86, North Fourth Street.
PHILADELPHIA, PENHTA
A gents for Lancaster Combs,
w.
H. KENNEDY
WITH
TRIMBLE, BRITTON A Co.,
WHOLESALE GROCERS,
No. 805 MARKET 8TREET,
PHILADELPHIA. f
gowER, pons & CO.,
BOOKSELLERS. STATIONERS,
And Dealers In
CURTAIN & WALL-PAPERS.
niiAXK hooks
Always on hand, ana madeto Order.
Nos. 630 Market and 623 Minor Streets
PHILADELPHIA, PA
' - 1 t
. ' Also I
M. Publishers of Sanders'New Headers, and
Brooks' Aritliinetlcs. Also. Hobert's Hiatnr
theUnltedStates.Feltou'sOutllne Maps.fto.
JLOYD, SUPPLEE & WALTON
WHOLESALE , .
HARDWARE HOUSE
' No. 625 Market Street.
Philadelphia, Penn'a.
JANNEY & ANDREWS
WHOLESALE
GROCERS,
No. 123 MARKET 8T.,
Philadelphia.
QRAYBILL & CO.,
Wholesale Dealer ln
Oil Cloths, Carpets,
' Shades, Brooms, f
Carpet Chain, Wadding,
Batting, Twines, &c,; ; '
And a nneassortmentof ( H i v
WOOD Dd W ILLO W WARE,
No. 126 Market street, above 4th.
PHILADELPHIA.
Philadelphia Advertisements.
M. HARTLEY,
WITH
m. a. ruirmi & co.,
HIASMFACTlHr.lt
AND WHOLESALE DEALERS IN
BOOTS 8c SHOES,
31 NOItTn THIRD STREET,
rmi.iiHi'i'iiiA.
Special attention Rlren to aiders.
Junes, 187.pd
Wainwrigut & CO.
WHOLESALE GROCERS
AND
, TEA DEALERS,
North Hast Corner ol 2ud and ArchStreet,
Philadelphia Tenn'a,
J.
S. DOUGHERTY
D. J. HOAR & CO.,
WHOLESILB
BOOT AND SHOE
WAKEH0UNE,
M13 MARKET 8T11EET,
Philadelphia, Penn'a.
JJALL, SHENK & CO.,
403 & 407 Market Street,
IMiIladelpliia,
(Old Stand of Barcroft & Co.,)
WHOLESALE DEALERS
IN
GOODS.
tt
January, 1879.
Med Sole Leather Depot
EDWARDS & CASTLE,
88 NORTH FOURTH ST., PHIL'A.
LEATHER AND FINDINGS,
Full Line of Best PhUa. Oalf and Kip, B.& C
Brand, ism
PROF. HARRIS' RADICAL CURE
lOB BPEEMATTOEHGBA.
"SEMINAL PASTILLE"
A Vitus Me Dinoovery
anU New Departure In Md
icil Srlrnce, in entirvly
Now md poBftlvely ettet-t-irc
Remedy tor the ipeedy
nu iieriuaiierit Cur ot
Bernf nil Emissions Ss
Impotency by the only
true wsy, vit; Direct
tiiiK it specif le iiiHticiiceoit tlie Bemlnnl VestolCB Sjao
ulatory Ducts, Prostrate Olandincl Urethra. The use
ulilte ncmetiy is stlciUHl with nu pstn or lncoitenience.
It ll quickly difinlvi'il enl soon s boor bed, nroOuclns tn
immediate southing and reitoritlve edect upon tSe sev-
onil cti-eeit, ituppiru the drain Irtiin the iv'tent
liel'l" Wind to (liulHt am! aannd . '
yterrt, ttiMr
ory, removing
tliDimnc-BofSighf, Nervoui Debility, 6onftBton
or! l.-iiD. Aversion to Soviet v. Em l!m
i'ii-Ti-i jjr-jmmtirooia niro Hnnny accompanying this
routi..-, siitl ri'tirtiig perfi it. Bezunl Vigor, wlieralt has
ice. i tl ititiant tor yen rs. This iiiotte of treatment has stoed
troi
nee.iii-iniwiit lor.vcnrs. Ihn iikxIc of treatment has stoed
tii'ft'li i very aevcre csirs, iml li now i pronounced
Hi-re... Dm kb irt I.mj tnui-h pierribed in (hete troubles,
ml, nisny can ln sr wiliieos o, with but llltle II my
tee thnt It will cWoBitivfaotion. -During The eight
yj-r i 'mt It has been in Kvm-ml ue. hBVtf ihousauds
ot t'thij..nijls t Hi value, sih It Is now eonceetl
ed by the Meillcil rmreslmi lo bo (he limit istlunel
tiienns yit i Itcorrrcd ut rea. big snd curlnfr this very brev
kMHtr.mhlc.tfmtiiw. il k uown t - bo lite rsu ot untold
nitt n-tn so tnsuy, and iipmi wbom qtincks prey with
tbciru' t'-s tioitnimi and blcr fen.Tlin KemetlyH put up
lnaii.n!b.iS.rnniiglitalBflt ai.iunili. ami sent rn a plain
wrapper by liiall "aled f-ir $3. Two botes, fsufUeleat to
ftfei tar-rnianeiilcur.' iftiM In cvt-re eaoet) $6 Thrre
Dors Inkling ihn-0 full Mn tilt, will tt'p riniilnIr. flnr
rtttorr vlpor. In the wrt rne. 7. Full DlfiloriONfl
for i!-TwlllsrmiiT.iTiv EAPir l.nir
f aenri fiir i I)ecrlptlr Pamphlet giving AnitomIeel
m ?JI"triiiiunB,whleh will cutivlnce tfio tnoit tceDtical
)
'""."y b" "top d to porlerl manhood, end
fitted for the dut W of lit. saniM It ttvrr .fTrni-
8ent Healed for stamp te any one. 8od ONLY bv tha
HARRIS REMEDY CO. MPG.CHCMIST8.
Market and 8th. S. 8T. L0U18, MO,
POUTZ'S
HORSE AND CATTLE POWDERS
NO HOBflK will fllfl nf Ivii.iri. Itryprn nr I.ran Vm.
Trn. If Fnntcl Powder. are used In time.
lonU'sFowdemwIII core and prevent line Cholha
Fuutr.' Powder, will prevent OArsa la Fowl, es
pecially Turkeys.
Foutil Powder, will Inereane th qnnHrr of milk
nd cream twenty per cent, aud nuke tlie batter firm
and sweet.
Fontx'. Powder will enre or prevent almost btmt
Dihiab. Hint Horm. and Cattle are heir to.
Fovti's Powuana wna, sivb SATisr iimoj .
Bold everywhere.
DAVIS S. rOtTTB, Proprietor.
BALT1MOHJI, Md.
Private Hospital, Wtt
M.tlnrk 8t.,t:heaa,
Itt. 0 flpeelslty, all
frlTate.Cbrante and
Female Uiaeases,
Couiultatlon frea.
Iaillits aud Orntbt
ma, send one dollar
nr Btslii of bi
fibber fno4, and
valuable InrortnattoD
ity expre., KUk.
bltf K.niale Pllli, 5
per ea. Private
home and nurse fur
Ladi 4uriB eea
fliicinrnt. A nir work, prlcfl AU
ovnti bj null. Unit,
riet of N.iur., rbjxl.
oloij of MorrUfo, Or.
of lonortl.n,
HtiirKM. of Youlti .nj
M.tihond) . VOMltb or
ehitluo and vilu.ulo In
formalins, of lt,ura(
to (Niih wim. Nolhitii
ottrn.lvo lo ffOIHl Unio
.nd rnHn.mvol. Infor.
Piollc. BOTr fcefnf.
uiiMl.hi. N. fkrall
o
m
OS
C3
"linnm n wiioou. lb
Idrru, nr. A.
iii. ri.rk si.
IMPORTANT NOTICE. -The nibscriber
late ot the firm of Khoadra Hmlth, would
respeotfiilly inform the oltlzena of BLAIN
;iid vi(!lnllv. that he ha opened a WAGON
MAKKHHIlOP, anil is prepared to make Dew
WHuona and repair old ones at short notice, and
at from TKN to IWKNTY percent, cheaperthan
the old Itrm.
-Ulve me a call. Satisfaction siinranteed.
, , . . JACOB BMi 111.
Blaln, August 8, 1867.
NOTICK. The underalRned cltlzeo of Ty.
rone township. Perry County, Pa., hereby
(lives notice to any aHd all p.rsoiis, not to tress
pass on his lands to hunt, kill or shoot any game
ol any kind. Any person vlolatlus; the above will
be dealt with ftcoordlUK to law.
August iifl,lS7tt. JEREMIAH KECK.
iM'Umigi tut in At tmu
Will
VARIETY STOllEl:
iiiaifiTi:i TO
West End of tlie Mansion House,,
NEW BtOOMFIELO, PAi
JuHt Enlarged and on Hand a lfw
STOCK OF
DRY HOODS,
OKOCERIF.8,
BPICEfl,
TOBACCO,
oioAns,
QUEENS WARE,
GLASSWARE,
TINWARE
And a FU Variety or Notion e.
Also have on Ilnnd
ALL STYLES OF TICTURE FRAMES,
1U11.EX BRACKETS, WALL POCKETS,
DATS RCKAS, &C, &C, KC. &0., SC.,
All of which we will sell at astonishingly
LOW ritlCES,
To stilt tlie times. Give us a call and save money.
NO TROUBLE TO SHOW GOODS
.Country Produce taken in Trade.-S
Don't forget the place.
Nov.l7.m8-tf. VALENTINE BLANK.
HOP BITTERS.
(A ftlFdiclnr, not n Drink,)
CONTAINS
HOPH, ltrt lM', MANDttAIiE,
DANDELION,
Ajid Tnx PfnioiT aitd rnaBT MrmcAi, QuAirrrai or
XlAi OTITKB DtTTFttf .
they ctrnti
All CIucoki. of the rltmruich, Dowels, Stood, Liver.
Kldneva, and Urinary Ortrnnn, NcrronmcM, BUp
li'RsneMi and eBpecl&llr Female Complaints.
k 91000 IN (JOM).
I Will be paid flnr a cane they will nnetmra or hoip err
iot onytning tnirrare or lnjunotM round In thenw
A-k your drtiECKlKt for Hop Hitters and .17 them
before yoa sleep. Tnke no other..
flor CotTan CURSlathe sweetest, safest and best.
Ask Children.
The Ho? Pad for Stomach, Llrer and Kidnoy ts-ss-I
rlor to all others. Cures by absorption. Ask dmg&st.
D. L C. Is an alisoltitc and lrrefdstible enre for drunk
rnnrw, ttao ot orium, tobacco and iiarRotfcai
Ahovssnlit bprfrmsrhts. Inp R!ttri Mfu.Co. RochMter.N.Y.
2 4w
A l.r.r. onfl rMm.1.1. (InM. tm
W.dlO.'k. L'UllUhlllll.. Wltn n,an
oilier., tri,- IuII.iwiiik chanten 1 A
ri)inpleiit Vum.Mliouil, Mdeetion of
Wllf, KviJ. nc-i t Viifrlnllr. Trm.
UAMAlAUaMa H.r, Nlrrililjr In wn, cam. n(t
nimniii, iunii.Ki.Digi u inpfintnii.
AitTlr. to wIvm, Proililiilion. In ruiirl, Clrbarv .nl
Matrimonii rniupari-d. CViipuc.l iliilii. Conci prion, Cun
nnemrnt, Lova and Courtvliip, linmllmcntf to Marriaite,
in ma . anil tcmilr. ficlrnce ,.( Hri.roduction, Single Pitt
eomidrrrd, I.a.of Murrlaje, l.awvt Divorre, Ijarrirhlf
ormarriad vnmen, etc., Ineluiliii Ulaenara peculiar to
Wpmon. tlielr eaitae. and trealinent. AJiunk fur private
.nd rimeideratrrradiiiir ol ayo pne... mith. full I'lut Lu
ir.vln.a, lir mall, aealed for 60 eeiila.
.viThePrivoJ Medical Adviser,"
,OTByplilli.,Oonorrlir..oi.et,trlcture.Varieoeet,
e., alio on Ppcrmatlorhoea, Sexual X).billty,.itU Im
BOWnoy, fioin 8ell-auie and caum.i Seminal
f ,N'P. "l Averalon lo Society, t'onfulion ol
Ideu, Plivpc.ld..v,i)lniii.M of aifhUDelfctive Memory,
lM ol genial Po.ir, ele. tnakilK m.rriat. Improper
or unhappy, Itirint trealmenL and a imt many
valuahle recelpta for t!ie cure of all prirat. diaaaat Mui.
Ilia, over 60 platea. 60 centa. '
. "!!Cedionl Advtoe,"
JiiIP f "anhood and Woniuohood, 10 enifft rr
.11 thre. In op nicely bound volume, $1. They contain
eoo panel .nd over loo lllu.tr.tion., embracing CTery.
"1 7h V1. ""r,,.lve y'teni that la worth knowing arid
mucn that ia npl puhluhtKl In any other work. The com
bined volume l iioemvelv the he.t Popular Medical Book
publiahed, .iidtIioadiiiatliflKl after leiiiu. It can have
tlielr money relunded. TheAnthorl. an cxperlonc.d
rhvaiclan ornianv veara nrat m fdalaw.ll t
the .dvic itlven, and llule. for treatment laid down, will
be found of sre.tv.lne to thoae aurTerinff fiom Inipuritic.
ortbeayateni, early-aTori.loit vigor, or .ny ol the nunier
P"" troutile. coming under the head o "Private- or
Cnronto dle.eB. Sentln einrle Yolomel, or compleu
In one, for Price in Stamp", Silver or Currency. (Conaul
Mtlon eonfld.nti.l, .nd letter! .r. promptly .nd frankly
aaawered without charre.) Addrea.i Dr. BuHa' Diipen
sary, 13 S. 8th St., SU Louli, Mo. (E.t.bliahod 1847.)
ror n by news uealen. AGENTS wanted
ia
)
(il; Sr,,l,'? '"v'J" an per-n. aunerlng from
KUPTIIHE to -end him tfielr munea and addreaa,
and hereby aaauref them that they will learn
wouthlni to their edvant-cth Net a True.
ESTATE NOTICE.-Notlce Is hereby (riven
that letters of administration on the estate
C. 6. Toomy, late ot Juniata township, Perry Co.,
Pa., deceased, have been granted to the under
signed, residing In the same township.
All persons Indebted tosald estate are reqnest
ea to make Immediatepayment and those having
claims to present thorn duly authenticated for
settlement to
THOS. W. TRESSLEB.
September 2, 1S79i J I Administrator.
TTSTATE NOTICE. Notice la herebvetven
JCJ that letters of administration on the estate
oi Daniel FortenMugh, late of Hye township.
Perry county, 'a , dee d., have been granted to
Sarah L, or Ittnbaagh, residing In the same
township.
All persons Indebted to said estate arerequested
to make Immediate navmetit and thosehavlnff
clalmsltijpresenttheniUuly authentlcatedlorset-
iiemeut.
SARAH L. FOHTENBATJGH.
JulyS, 1679.) Administratrix.
UHRCF Bend 25 cents In stamps or currency
"Unat fP a new HOKSK BOOK. It treats
all diseases, has 33 flue engravings showing posi
tions assumed by sick horses, a table ot doses, a
Rflfllf lrge collection of valuable recipes,
UUUIX ruies for telling the ageota horse, with
an engraving showing teeth of each year, and a
large amount ot other valuable horse Informa
tion. Dr. Win. II. Hall says: "I have bought
bookg that I paid 15 and 110 for which I do not
line as wen as i no yours." mend run a
tULAH- AHUNTS WANTED,
B. J. KEN
DALL, Euosburgh Falls, Vt.
20 ly
By sending 38 cents, with age,
JTTDUE flight, color of eves and halr.vou
1'ftlt will receive by return mail a
vniiiiuvT u correct picture oi your tutiire
lULKSLLr. husband or wife, with uume, and
date of marriaKe.
Address. Vf. FOX, Box 77 Fultonvllle, N. Y.
Angust 26, 1879 . 3m.
A FULL ASSORTMENT
OF
HARDWARE,
IRON & STEEL
WILL BE FOUND AT
OUR NEW STORE-ROOM.
F. MOJiTIMEi:,
New liloomfleid,
e 1 vw 'J ..-""i-ii.rr.)k-,i. i, r.
.Mr "No, sir," ald the gentletnan
from Pittsburgh, " I was not In the war
but my brother wrh, and he was wound
ed." " Ah I Indeed. Seriously wound
ed " "Yes, sir; he was shot In the
borne."
0"A new book Is called ''The
Horse's Foot and How to Shoe It."
The author, of course, Is a man. When
you see a book entitled "The Hen, and.
How to 'Shoo' It," you can lay a
heavy wager that the writer Is a Voman.
What a woman doesn't know about.
"Shoo"-lng a ben, no man can teach
her not by a large majority.
Taking It In the Right Spirit.
Benevolent old lady "Tell your mo
ther, William Stubbs, that I shall call ,
in during the day, and give her a little
spiritual comfort." W. S. "She'll be
glad o' that, marm, cos she can't pay
the score at the Bull since feytber died, .
and ain't 'ad no spirits for a week."
Afraid Something had Happened.
On the river: "What's the matter,.
Alfred You look uneasy." " Well,
my wife, who is fond of swimming, div
ed off the boat some time ago, and has -not
yet come to the surface ; I am afraid
something must have happened to her."
How long baa she been under ' " About
two hours."
Ho Was "Flggerln."
Some woman are never satisfied. The .
other night, wheu Gallagher was reck
oning up his accounts, his wife spoke to
him several times, and received no an
swer said ; " You treat me cruelly. I '
fear you no longer love me." And Gal
lagher replied : " I love ycu passionate
ly, devotedly, frantically, madly ; but if
you don't hold yer jaw till I get these
figures added, I'll give you a clip in the
eye. And in spite of his protestations .
of love she was not satisfied.
"Who Kissed Me."
As a train emerged from the dark tun
nel (near Spruce Creek) into open day
light, recently, a handsome and jojly
looklng lady, with a twinkle In her eye,
Inquired, "Who kissed meV"" where
upon a modest and somewhat clerical-,
appearing gentleman sitting in the seat
in front turned his head and remarked' '
"Indeed, madam, it was't mel" which '
brought forth a short of laughter that
can be better imagined thau discribed.
A Dog Who Joked.
It happened in Indiana. Asxuan who
was surveying in the woods, thinking
to have some fun with his dog. who was
lying near him asleep, gave a shout and
a jump into the thicket, as-if all the
game ever protected by the game laws
was dashing through the bushes. . Tiger
came bounding and barking to the fray
and soon detecting the trick , that was
played upon him, sneaked baok to his
lair and lay down again. The surveyor
resumed his duties, aad was hard at
work for two or three houi8r when all at
once the dog rose from his sleep, set his
ears and eyes In the direction of the
wood, gave a bark and made, a rush for
the forest detpbs. The surveyor follow
ed the noble brute to a tree up which he
was barking, and began to scan th
boughs for the hiding game. Tiger gave
a satisfied "Ah woohl" bestowed a
glance of contempt at the surveyor and
striking a dignlfiedigait, stalked hack to
his couch with the appearance of a dope
that had squared up All accounts.
A Smart Family.
The other morning a citizen called at
a hardware stoisvon Woodward avenue
and said he wanted a key to a certain
door in his houe, and he took up and
carried away almost the first key hand
ed out to hin. On his way down town
after diner be stopped and exchanged
the key for another, explained that the
first wouldn't fit. These changes took
place twice a day for the next fouf days
the citizen being unable to, get a key
that wouM fit. On the sixth day he
drove up. to the store with a door on a
dray, and calling to the proprietor he
said:
" Bjtfug your box of keys out here and
we'll get a fit to that lock.. Here I have
been funning back and forth for about a
week, and I might not have got a fit for
a whole month If my wife bad not sug
gested that I trlug the door down here.
Some of these women are mighty smart.
"But why didn't you take the lock oft
and bring It down In your pocket ?"
The buyer looked at him in a vacant
way, stared bard at the door and tat
down on the curbstone with the remark:
" Its a wonder the whole family was
not sent to the fool-house JO years ago."