THE TIMES, NEW BLOOMFIELD, PA., MAY 0, 1879.
RAILROADS
PHILADELPHIA AND READING R. R
KHANflEMKNTOF PAB8ENGIERTRAIN8.
Xov. lOtli 1878.
TRAINS LEAVE UARH1SBUKG AS FOLLOWS
Pur New York, at 0.20, S.lfa.m. fcuup.m.
tad 7.te p. Hi.
For mflaUelphU, at 6.20, 8.10, 9.46 a.m.
i.Wlll 4.00 1. 111. ,
For Reading, t 5,20, 8.10, 9.45 .m. and 8.00
4.U0 aud 7.(5. , . M
For Pottsvllle t 8.20, 8.10 a. m.. and 4.00
6. in., and via Bohuylkill and Busquelianna
ranch at 2.40 p. m. ....
For Auburn via B. S B. Br. at 8.80 a. m.
For AriBiitown,at6.20, S.lua. m and at 2.00,
4.00 and T.68 p. m. ,.i.
The 6.20, 8.10 a.m., and 7.M p. m., trains
have through car lor New York.
The 6.20, a. m., trains have through cantor
Philadelphia.
SUNDAYS :
For New York, at 6.20 a. m.
For Allmitown and Way Stations at 6.20a.m.
For Reading, Philadelphia aud Way tltatloniiat
1.48 p. m.
TRAINS FOR HARUISBURQ, LEAVE AS FOL
LOWS :
Leave New York, at8.4R a. m.. 1.00, 6.80and
7Leavenl:hlladelphla, at 9.45 a. m. 4.00, and
''Lea'ventteiullnR, at t4.40. 7.40, 11.60 a. in. 1.30,
li;,",dri.ftlR-. at 6.10, 9.15 a.m. aud ..40
P An'dvla Schuylkill and Susquehanna Brauohat
''Leave Auburn vlaS. ft 8. Br. at 12 noon.
Leave Alleiitown, at ti.305,60, 9.05 a.m.. 12.18
4.30 and 9.0) p. m.
SUNDAYS:
Leave New York, at 3.30 . m.
Leave Philadelphia, at 7.20 p.m.
Loave Reading, at 4.40, 7.40, a. m. and 10.35
P Leave Allentown,at2 30 a. m.,aml9.05p. m.
J. K. WOOTEN, Uen. Manager.
C. G.Hancock, General Ticket Agent.
iDoes not run on Mondays.
Via Morris aud Essex It. R.
HE EAGLE HOTEL,
CARLISLE ST.,
New IHoomficld, Tenn'a.
J. A. NEWCOMER,
Troprletor.
HAVING removed from the American Hotel,
Watertord, and having leased and refurnished
the above hotel, putting It lu good order to no
I'onimodate guests, I ask a share of the public
patronage. I assure my patrons that every exer
lion will be made to render them comfortable.
. My stable Is still in care of the celebrated
March 18, 1879 1 fj. A. NEWCOMER.
JHE MANSION HOUSE,
New Bloomfleld, Penn'a.,
GEO. F. ENSMINGER.
Proprietor.
HAVING leased this property and furnished It
In a comfortable manner, task a share of the
publlo patronage, and assure my friends who stop
with me that every exertion will be made to
render their stay pleasant.
JW A careful hostler always In attendance.
April 9, 1878. tf
RATIONAL HOTEL.
CORTLANDT BTEET,
(Near Broadway,)
3STE-W 'YOEK.
HOCIIKISS ft POND, Proprietors.
ON THE EUROPEAN FLA N.
The restaurant, cafe and lunch room attached,
are unsurpassed for cheapness and eicellence of
service. Rooms 50 cents, fi per day, 83 to 810 per
week. Convenient to all ferries and city railroads.
NEW FURNITURE. NEW MANAGEMENT. 4 ly
gURPltlSING!
JUST OPENED
A VARIETY STORE,
UP TOWN!
We Invite the Citizens of BLOOMFIELD and
vtcinltv, to call and examine our Stock of
GHOCKHIKH.
yUKENBWARR.
GLASSWARE.
TIN WAKE.
A FULL VARIKTY OP
NOTIONS, etc, etc., etc.
All of which are selling at astoulshlngly
LOW PRICES.
Give us a call and SAVE MONEY, as we are al
most GIVING THINGS AWAY.
Butter and Eggs taken in trade.
VALENTINE BLANK,
WEST MAIN STREET
Nov. 19, '78.-tf
American and
Foreign
Patents.
GILMORE ft CO.. Successors to CHIPMAN
HOSMER ft CO., Solicitors. Patents pro
cured Inali countries. NO FEES IN ADVANCE.
No charge unless the patent in granted. No fees
for making preliminary examinations. No addi
tional teen ir obtaining and conducting a re
hearing. By a recent decision of the Commis
sioner, ALL rejected applications may be revived.
Hpecial attention given to Intei fereuce Cases be
fore the Patent otlice, Extensions before Con
gress, Infringement Hultsin dllferent States, and
all litigation appertaining to Inventions or Pat
ents. Bend Stamp to Gllmore & Co., tor pamph
let of sixty pages.
LA.Nl) CASKS, LAND WARRANTS ft SCRIP.
Contested Land Cases prosecuted before the U.
S. General Land Office and Department of the
Interior. Private Land Claims, MINING aud
PKK EMPTION Claims, and HOMESTEAD cases
attended to. Land Scrip in 40, 80, any li0 acre
Kleces for sale. This Scrip Is assignable, and can
e located in the name of the purchaser upon any
Government land subject to private entrv, at
11.25 per acre. It is of equal value with Bounty
Land Warrants. Send Stamp to Gilmore & Co.,
for pamphlet of Instruction.
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OFFICERS, SOLDIERS and SAILORS of the
late war. ortlielr heirs, arein many cases entitled
to money from the Government of which they
have no knowledge. Write full history of service,
and state amount of nav and bounty received.
Enclose stamp to GILMORE & CO., and a full re
ply, after examination, will be given you tree.
PENSIONS.
. All OFFICERS. SOLDIERS, and SAILORS,
wounded, ruptured, or injured in the late war,
however slight, can obtain a penson by addressing
GILMORK&CO.
Cases prosecuted by GILMORE ft CO., before
1 the Supreme Court of the United States, the Court
of Claims and the Southern Claims Commission.
Each department of our business Is conducted
tn asepara'e bureau, under charge of the same
experienced parties, embloyed by the old firm.
Prom nt .attention to all business entrusted to
GILMOHK& CO.. Is thus secured. We desire to
win success by deserving It.
Address: GILMORE ftCO.,
829 K. Street,
Washington,!). C.
DOLLY'S JOKE.
WHITE and glistening like a mam
moth bridal veil, the December
tin lay over all the New Hampshire
hills ; dark and delicate, like the tracery
of lncework,the leafless woods held their
boughs against the daz.llng winter sky
and the Reverend Peter Talmleal
studying over an embryo sermon in his
own especial sanctum, glanced up where
a blackbird was whistling In the case
ment, and thought to himself what a
lovely world the Lord had made.
When, all of a sudden, a shrill voice
callei;th rough the entry :
" Peter, the horse Is ready."
"What horse?" asked the Rev. Mr.
Palmleaf.
" Our horse, to be sure 1" said Miss
Paulina, his sister.
"What for?" demanded the parson,
staring through his near-sighted spec
tacles at the door.
" To take you to Mr. Darrow's."
" Why am I going to MY. Darrow's?"
further questioned the man of theol
ogy. " Well, I never 1" said Miss Paulina,
bouncing Into the study, with a yellow
pocket handkerchief tied around her
head and her sleeves rolled In a business
like fashion up to her elbows. " Peter,
you grow more moony and absent
minded every day of your life 1 Have
you forgotten our discussion at the
breakfast table V Why, you are going
to Mr. Darrow's after a girl, to be
sure!"
" A girl I" repeated the young min
ister, dreamily, rubbing his forehead.
" Oh, I do recall something of the con
versation. A hired girl."
" Yes," nodded the lady briskly. "She
Is going to leave Mr. Darrow's this
morning, because the family is so large
and work so heavy. She can't find that
fault with our establishment, I guess.
Ask her how much wages she wants,
and how old she is, and ask her whether
she has any followers a follower Is the
one I can't tolerate, tell her and be sure
you bring her back with her bundles ;
as I must have her or some one else to
help me before cousin Phillnda's folks
come from the city."
" But suppose she won't come !" said
the young minister, dubiously, fitting
on the fingers of his gloves.
" Then you must make her come,"
said Miss' Paulina, hurriedly retreating,
to look after a certain kettle, which was
noisly boiling over, at the back of the
house.
And thus, charged with his mission,
the Reverend Peter Palmleaf got into
the one-horse cutter and jingled merrily
away.
Mr. Darrow's farm-house nestled un
der a hill, in the protecting shadow of a
cluster of evergreens, with a green fence
in front of It, a red barn at the rear, and
a colony of dove-houses at the sunny
Southern angle; and Mr. Darrow him
self, a ruddy-faced, elderly man with a
fringe of white whiskers around his
chin, was Bhovellng away the pearly
masses of snow in front of his door.
"Eh!" said Mr. Darrow leaning on
the handle of his spade, as the bells
jingled up in front of his gate, and then
stopped. " How ? Why, It's the min
ister! Good morning, Mr. Palmleaf
good morning I That there Sunday ser
mon o' yours was a masterpiece. Me
and 'Squire Sennex "
"Yes," said Mr. Palmleaf, leisurely
alighting and tying the horse to the post.
" But I have called on business this
morning."
For Mr. Palmleaf was emphatically a
man of one idea, for the time being, the
" hired girl" had chased all theology out
of his head.
"Eh I" said Mr. Darrow, "business?"
" I've come after a young woman,"
said the minister.
Mr. Darrow dropped the spade in the
middle of a snow-drift.
" Do you mean Dolly ?'. he Bald.
" If that's her name yes," asserted
the minister, solemnly.
" You don't mean that it is to be an
engagement ?" cried Darrow.
" Well, yes that is, If we suit each
other," said Mr. Palmleaf, mildly.
" Jerusalem !" said Mr. Darrow, who
had always heard that Mr. Palmleaf,
like most men of business, was an " ec
centric," but had never realized It be
fore. " Have you spoken to her ?"
" Certainly not !" answered Mr. Palm
leaf. "Of course I shouldn't think of
such a thing without seeing you first."
" Very straightforward of you, I'm
sure," said the farmer. " But, of course,
I can have no objection, It Dolly her
self is suited. Though," and he smote
one red in it ten ed hand upon his knee,
"now I come 'to think of it, you've
never seen Dolly."
"No!" said the minister serenely.
" But thnt need make no difference."
"Jerusalem!" again uttered the far
mer, " it wasn't the way I used to look
at things, when I was a young man."
" Tastes differ," said Mr. Palmleaf, a
little impatient at this lengthened dis
cussion. " Of course you can see her," said
Mr. Darrow. " She's In the dairy .skim
ming milk. Dolly 1 Doll t" raising his
voice to a wild bellow. " Here's the
Reverend Mr. Palmleaf wants to see
you t There's the door, Just to the left,
sir."
And, In his near-sighted way.themln
ister stumbled into Famcr Darrow's
dairy, where a rosy-oheeked girl, with
Jet-black halr.brushed away from a low,
olive-dark brow, and eyes like pools of
sherry wine, was skimming the cream
from multitudinous mllkpans into a.
huge stone pot.
" Young woman," said Mr. Palmleaf,
turning his spectacles upon her amazed
face, " do you want to engage your
self?" " Sir ?" said Dolly, her spoon coming
to an abrupt standstill amid the wrinkly
and leather-like folds of the cream on a
particular pan.
"In other words," explained Mr.
Palmleaf, " do you want a good
home?"
" Indeed, sir, I have never thought of
such a thing!" said Dolly, all in a
flurry.
" How old are you ?" questioned Mr.
Palmleaf.
" I am eighteen," said Dolly, in some
confusion.
"Have you any followers?" asked the
minister.
"Sir?" fluttered Dolly.
"Beaux, I mean," elaborately ex
plained the clergyman.
"Of course I haven't," said Dolly,
half inclined to laugh, half to be an
gry. " Then I think you'll suit me," said
Mr. Palmleaf; "or, rather, my sister.
Our family is not large ; the work is
light, and Paulina is a most considerate
mistress. Oet your bundle."
" My what !" said Dolly in bewilder
ment. " Your clothes. I am to take you
back with me immediately," said the
minister. "Paulina expects company.
It is essential that we obtain help at
once."
Dolly Darrow looked up with cheeks
crimson like any rose, eyes full of deep
brown sparkles, and lips around which
danced a perfect galaxy of dimples.
" Wait a minute, please," said she.
u Certainly," said the young clergy
man. And he sat down on a wooden stool
in the corner and fell to meditating on
the "thirdly" of his unfinished sermon,
while Dolly sped up stairs three steps at
a time.
"Father," cried she, flying Into the
presence of her parents, " the minister
has mistaken me for Bridget !"
"Eh?" said Mr. Darrow.
" You don't tell me!" said Mrs. Dar
row. "And he wants to hire me," said
Dolly, her eyes gleaming with fun.
"And I'm going. Quick where's my
hat and shawl and mufflers ?"
Mrs. Darrow rose up in the majesty
of her black silk gown and gold watch
chain. " Dorothy Darrow," said she, " you
are never going to hire as a servant ?"
" Yes, I am," said Dolly. " It ia bet
ter than private theatricals. He's so
nice and absent-minded, and Paulina is
a jewel 1 Oh do make haste or he will
be tired of waiting 1"
And Dolly succeeded in carrying her
point. Fifteen minutes later she bad
got into the cutter, with a parcel, which
Mr. Palmleaf stowed snugly away un
der the seat, and the minister drove
home with secret exultation.
Miss Paulina was in the kitchen fry
ing sausages for dinner, when Dorothy
Darrow walked in, with cheeks like car
nations, hair blown all over her fuce,and
the bundle under her arm.
" Here I am, Miss Paulina," said she.
" The hired help, at your service."
Miss Paulina stared.
" Well, it's Dorothy," said she. " And
I sent Peter after"
"Yes, I know," said Dolly brightly.
" But Bridget was gone, and he mis
took me for her, and he has engaged me
to work here. And, oh, Miss Palmleaf,
please don't undeceive blm. Because I
am a smart little housekeeper, and can
help you just as much as an Irish girl
could. Just give me a trial, that's
all."
Miss Paulina had a shrewd apprecia
tion of a joke ; her hard features relax
ed with a smile, as she stood looking
down at the radiant little brunette.
" Well," said she, " I don't mind If 1
do."
For one month Dorothy Darrow of
ficiated at the parsonage as hired girl.
Then slio came to the clergyman one
day :
" Mr. Palmleaf," said she, " I'm go
ing to leave the place."
Mr. Palmleaf looked up in amazement
and dismay.
" I hope, Dolly," said he, "that nei
ther my sister nor I have unwittingly
offended you ?"
" No," said Dolly, patting her foot on
the staring green leaves in the study
carpet, "but, oh, Mr. Palmleaf, I have
done wrong, and I earnestly beg your
pardon !' '
" Dolly !" cried the Rev. Peter, in
mild surprise.
" Because you are so good and true,"
said she, "and I am not a hired ftlrl.and
I only came here for a Joke, and I can't
bear to think I'm de-de-decelvlng
you !"
And Dolly began to cry plteously, be
hind the corner of her apron.
"You came here for a Joke?" said
the minister.
"Ye-yes," confessed Dolly, behind
her apron.
" Well, then," said the minister, gen
tly drawing her toward him, " suppose
you slay in earnest?"
" Sir?" faltered Dolly.
" My dear," said Mr. Palmlenf, " I've
got used to yon around the house. I
should miss you terribly1 if you should
leave us. Do you think I am too old to
think of a blooming young wife like
you ?"
" Not a bit I" cried Dolly indignantly.
" Old-you!"
"Do you like me a little bit?"
" A great deal," said Dolly, laughing
and blushing.
" Then you will stay with me al
ways ?"
Dolly promised that she would.
Everybody wondered how so bashful a
man as the Rev. Mr. Palmleaf ever
mustered up courage for a proposal : but
nobody knew that the engagement be
gan for a Joke turned out in sober earn
est. ENTERTAINING A DUTCHMAN.
TJE LOOKED carefully at the sign
11 "Fritz Pretzelsteln's Bakery," shift
ed his brown paper parcel to the other
hand, and entered with a confident and
friendly air. He was a tall, solemn-
looking man, and his expressive meln
convinced the baker he was about to or
der a supply of cookeries and other
uounsning out expensive edibles for a
clerical convention or Sunday-school
picnic.
" Is this Mr. Pretzelstein ?" he bland
ly inquired.
"Yah, dot lsh me," said the ruond
faced Dutchman, dusting off his elbows
and glancing a little uneasily at a lot of
overdone ginger snaps, which he felt
hardly did him justice, but hoping that
a highly decorated cake, Just finished
for a neighbor's wedding feast, would
reueem nis reputation, as lie felt Bure
that the combination of doveand hearts,
and divers colored sugar.was a rare artis
tic triumph.
" Mr. Pretzelstein," said the stranger,
affectionately fondling the parcel, but
not unrolling It, " I have a work here
which I feel sure you would like to pos
sess."
Fritz's rotund countenance percept!.
bly lengthened as the vision of an antlc
pated order faded away, and he answer
ed with a slight asperity of manner.
" Veil, I ish got blendy vork mlt
mine business, und I don't vant some
more."
"It is," continued the stranger, un
abashed, " a volume on which has been
lavished the treasures of some of the
richest minds of our day. There Is"
" Vot kind mines Is dot, mine friend ?
Ish it von of dem gerosene oil silfer
ml nes dot schwlndles der poor people's
ofter he shall some money put by der
stock? I vosh bought some of dem
mineselt more as den year agone, by
uem van street uroker, ana dey vas
nlcht goot. Can you sold dot pabers
von me ? Katrina bring dot leedle pox
by me rlchc avay oud of der gubboard."
" No, sir, the flickering light which
the incendiary throws upon the dark
ness of night is nothing compared to
the rays which shine from this great
work into the perceptive intellect."
" Katrina, you needn't bring der
pox," said the puzzled Dutchman.
" In the first chapter you strike"
"Neln, mine friend, I strike nicht!'
exclaimed Fritz, with emphasis. 1
like not der strike poody veil. Id vosh
besser as der workermans he shall (look
der schall vages den be shall hnf no
monish und no kin pay der paker und
der putcher."
" You strike, as I was about to soy,
was the the calm reply, " upon one of
the greatest enigmas of the day. An
enigma which"
" Who strike dot nigger?" gaid Fritz
with Interest. " Vot voolisbness he
done dot he ish got strike ? Eh ?"
" Sir," said the stranger .impressively
"are you interested in the relations
which you, as a hard-handed son of toil,
bear to the bloated aristocrat on Fifth
avenue?"
Fritz looked a little puzzled, but his
face brightened in a moment, as ho
thought it over, and he said after he
had Bold a stick of candy to a couple of
ragged little girls, who bad just decided
" they'd ruther havs the red kind on
the shelf."
" Neio, I don't got some relations by
der Fifth afenue niineself. Der most
pard of dem is by Easeck street oud."
" But, sir, I refer to the political
questions growing out of thsee rela
tions.
" Yah, I ish a Republican, und so vo
mostly mine relations."
"No, no, it is not a question of oar-
ties. We must sink party lines and
rise to a broader plalne."
" O, dot lsh vot you vant. Veil, mine
broder he ish a carpenter, und he ha
blanes and gimlets und saws, und of
dem tools. Ofer you like I shall ealj
him, right away."
"No, not that, I am calling on the
workingmen, in order to instill a spirit
of thoucht into them by means of
this volume."
" I dink id vos beseer der vorkermans
heviilnot dook dem Instilled spirits
you spoke about. By'm-by he git
trunk und den der boleeceman (looks
him up."
" I deal not with material spirits, Mr.
Pretzelstein," said the agent, unrolling-
his book. " I am canvassing for the
1 Impending Squabble; or, the Son of
Toil, Shall He Bite the Dust?' by TnG.
B. Jabbers O'Flaherty. Price $2.25 In
this extra binding, or $1.75 substantially
bound In cloth, with marbled edges. No
such profound treatise has yet appeared,,
and no one can fall to profit by. In it
are discussed the causes of the late mis
understanding at Pittsburg and elso.
where, and the real"
"Dot Is blendy words by dot book,,
mine friend. Vot for you gome in mine -place
und dalk somedings about den.
mines and relations, und blanes, und
instilled spirits, und all dem kind of
dings, und all der dime you will sold me
a book ? Eh ? how lsh dot Ofer you
shall dole me how dot vas before, I shall
dole you so quick as eferydinksl not kiu
der English languidge read, dough 1
speaks him pooty goot, und it makes
nodiings by me dot I shall pay you eln,
zwei dollar von dot book. Gfer you.
shall tole me dot right avay, 7. shall safe
goot deal times. May be you don't hear
a vord Is plenty by der vise mans all
der same as a good deal talk ? Goot day,
mine friend, und ofer I wan never seen
you before I feel bo happy like a clam
soup."
And the agent passed sadly out mut
tering to himself, "Thankless task this,
trying to educate the masses,"
A Bath In the Dead Sea.
A CORRESPONDENT of the Wash
ington "Star," who has had a bath
in the Dead Sea, describes his experience
as follows : "The water, which is quite
clear ,and nearly the color of the Niagara
river below the falls, seemed to be a little
more bitter and salt than that of Salt
Lake, although brighter and more at
tractive to the eye when seen close at
hand. Its supporting power struck me
as a little greater, also, than that of Salt
Lake, as the body floated more easily
and the difficulty of swimming was
greater on account of the Inability to
keep one's feet under water. So large a
quantity of salt is held in solution that
the water has what is called, I believe, a
'ropy' appearance, much like that of a
plate of well-made tapioca soup. I ob
served, however, that when we came out
of the water there was not so large a
deposite of salt crystals on the body a
after a bath in Salt Lake, and the feeling
of the skin, instead of being dry and
prickly, as I expected, was rather oily
and sticky. Our dinner that night was
seasoned with salt made from Dead Sea
water by solar evaporation. It waa a
little lighter in color than the beet article
of brown sugar. Its crystals were large
and hard.and though foreign substance
were evidently present in considerable
quantity, it was not unpleasant to the
taste. I was told that two quarts of the
water will produce one quart of salt,
but this is probably exaggeration. To
complete the statistics of this reniarka-
ble body of water ,1 may add what many
of my readers may already know that
there is no living thing of any kind in
it; that even the driftwood brought
down by the floods in the Jordan is
speedily cast upon its shores; that it
length is about forty-five and its greatest
width about ten miles ; that it is over
1300 feet deep at the deepest place, anl
that the immense quantity of fresh
water poured into it daily is undoubtedly
taken up by evaporation, as ita great
depth below the basin of the Mediterra
nean must prelude the idea of a subtet
ranean outlet."
Advertising Cheats.
It has become so common to write thtr
beginning of an elegant, Interesting
article and then run it into some adver
tisement that we avoid all such cheaU
and call attention to the merits of Hop
Bitters in as plain honest terms a
possible, to induce people to give them
one trial, as no one who knows their
value will ever use anything eUe. is
The inhabitants of Madagascar are
dying to get hold of an American ship
captain who has sold them ten thousand
quart cans of tomatoes as a new kind of
gun-powder. Their old blunderbusses
wouldn't go off.