r rthariW m UNI I
Pl (&f
n.-r----' . .... ' . .. ' 1 !;
t m my
111
VOL. XII.
ISTISAV BLOOMFIELD, 1.A.., TXJE8DA.Y, iUJGrUSI? 13, 1878.
NO. 33.
A ?N 7nN I, lit! Uf
THE TIMES.
An Independent Family Newspaper,
' IS PUBLISHED BVBBY tUSHDAT BT 1 '
F. MORTIMER' & CO. !
8 U Ji 8 C U I V X I O M 1 It I C E . .
(WITUIK MB COUSTT.
On Year 1 2
Six Months 75
(OUT OF THB COUSTT.
Ons Tftar, (Postals Included) t KO
Six Months, (Postage Included) Ho
Invariably In Advance I
W Advertising rates f urmshed upon appli
cation. A Jealous Lover's Trick.
I WAS as big a fellow as she could see
anywhere about. I had a farm of
my own, and, when I was married,
father had promised to build me a first
rate house and stock the place for me.
And when we went to church on Sun
day, or to town, I had good clothes, and
was never told I looked ill in them.
On the whole, I felt myself a good,
fair match for Maggie Franz, though she
was so nice a girl. And her father and
mother thought so, too, and she never
refused my attentions.
I had settled, In the low, quiet sort of
way In which countrymen do settle these
things, that we'd make a match of it.
The other young folks knew it, and If
we were not fashionable we were so far
gentlemen that we had our code of
honor. None of them ever Interfered or
tried to cut me out.
But then "he" came, you see dapper
and pretty, and dressed like a tailor's
fashion-plate, and talked things I knew
very little about, and his hands were
white, and he had graceful, gallant ways
that I had never learned.
Mr. Zaccheus, that was his name, and
in that summer holiday of his, while
we were working hard over the hay and
were tanned, dirty and worn, and so
tired that sleep was about all we wanted
when work was over, why then he, soft,
sweet and smiling, made himself agree
ble to the girls, and crept into Maggie
Franz's heart my Maggie.
She scarcely looked at me. She did
not care whether she met me or not ;
and on Sunday, there he was making
me feel somehow so coarse, rough, and
vulgar, an-d when I wanted her to go
with me into the park, where we used
to sit in the great green shadows, and
listen to the birds sing, she had some
excuse for staying at home, and when
on the road to church, I took her hand
in mine, she snatched it away, and said,
quite crossly :
" Don't, Frank ; don't do such silly,
rustic things, while folks are here. They
never do it themselves, and they laugh
so."
"Mr. Zaccheus
suppose," said I.
laughs, you mean, I
44 That's gentleman-
ly, too."
"You are criticising Mr. Zaccheus
manners, are you V"
After that there was a coolness be
tween us; but, though it made my heart
ache, I could not think that it mattered
much to her.
I stayed away from her father's
bouse, and did not walk home with her
from church on Sunday ; indeed, I did
not go to church at all. And knew the
young folks aye, and the old folks, too
were saying that we had fallen out
with each other, and I suppose every
one guessed why ; but . I would never
answer any questions not even when
my own mother asked me not I.
So the bummer came and the autumn
passed on, and the town people stayed
and stayed. I saw that fellow's silk hat
and twill umbrella, and exquisitely-fitting
garments wherever I went. Farther
than I could see other people, I used to
ee him and her Mr. Zaccheus and
Maggie. '"
They had never made Maggie work
much at home, and she bad plenty of
time to enjoy herself an only daughter,
you see, I mean, and her people were
what is called forehanded. I never in
tended that she should drudge after
were married. When I had hoped
that, I did not mind work myself,
I'd never have made a slave of
wife.
we
for
but
my
This Mr. Zaccheus could not make of
her a more precious treasure than I
would; I knew that. I was thinking
this all over one evening In the meadow,
when suddenly I heard some one say :
" Ah Mr. Wollmerath 1"
I looked up, and there was Mr.
Zaccheus, nattier than ever, with a cigar
in his mouth.
If he had known just how I felt
toward him, I'm notsure that he'd have
come to find me alone in the great
meadow, and I thought of that Just as I
jumped up from the grass and looked at
him. But he was smiling as politely as
possible, and there is something in a
man's heart that makes it hard to do the
first rude thing to one who Is civil.
Still I was not polite to him.
" That's my name," said I to him.
" Do you want me "
" I want something of you," said he.
"There is a little excursion to-night
from our house. We're going to take a
lady. Have you any little light trap
and horse, of course, that you could let
me hire for the evening y I'd rather go
alone with her than in the big wagon
ette. You know, I'm sure, how this is
that a fellow would rather ride alone
with a pretty girl, and, if you will help
me out, I will be ever so much obliged
to you."
So he had come to ask me to help him
to have a nice time with my girl he
who had cut me out I I looked nt him,
just holding my hands still by force, and
I thought of him riding along the moon
lit road with Maggie close to him.
I asked myself whether his arms
would not be around her waist, and
whether in the shadow, as they fell a lit
tle behind the others, he would not kiss
her.
" And you want me to help you V" I
Baid, out loud. "Me!"
" Yes," he said. "Please."
"Come along," I said. "I'll show
you what I have got."
On the farm that was mine there was
one building, a little cow-shed. We put
the tools in there sometimes, and I had
a padlock for the door ; they key was in
my pocket.
It came into my head that I could
spoil that evening for him, and spite
Maggie, too.by locking him in the shed.
And if he had spirit enough to fight me
for it afterwards, so much the better.
I led the way down into the meadow
were it stood and unlocked the door.
" Just look in," said I, " and see if
that will suit you."
" Can't see anything," said he. "It's
pitch dark. Wait a minute, I have a
match."
He took one from his pocket and
stooped to strike it on the sole of his
boot, and then I gave him a push and
over he went, fiat on the floor, and I
had the key in my pocket.
"You'll not make any one hear very
soon, my lad," said I, " and you'll not
kiss Maggie Franz going over the bridge
this evening."
Then I went away and laid myself flat
upon the porch in front of our house,
and felt happier than I had felt before
for a long time.
Revenge is sweet now and then.
I do not pretend to have none of the
old Adam in me.
I had been there about half an hour,
and the chirp, chirp, chirp of the
cricket was lulling me off to sleep, when
I suddenly heard a little light step close
by me, and saw a woman's white dress
fluttering, and, Jumping up there, stood
before me, Maggie Franz. -
The first thought that came in to my
mind was that she was looking for her
beaux, and it made me fiendish.
" Is that you Miss Franz H said I.
" Yes, Mr. Wollmerath," said she
and though I had said Miss Franz, how
it hurt me not to be called Frank.
" I came over to see your mother, is she
inV"
"No," said I.
" Then I'd better go home," said she.
But she lingered.
"Not looking for any one else ?" I
said.
" No," she said very sadly. " Good
night." But I could not let her go without a
cut.
" I thought you'd be on the wonder
ful moonlight drive," said I.
"Then you were mistaken," said
she. ' ... ,
" Did he forget to come for you V" said
I. " Mr. Zaccheus, you know."
" I haven't been asked to drive," said
she. " I don't know why you speak bo.
Mr. Zaccheus,! Buppose,ls with the lady
he Is engaged to. She came down last
week with her mother."
"Oh," said I, and I began to wish I
had asked a few more questions before I
locked young Zaccheus up in the cow
house. We stood still, apart from each other.
I saw her lip quiver. Was it for him t
Had he Jilted her r That was tit for tat
anyhow.
But ehe was pretty, and so sad, and so
winning that I felt my heart give one
great throb. I took a step nearer, she
took another.
"Oh, Frank," cried she, "I can't
stand it, if you keep angry with me. I
have always liked you best, but you've
been bo awful cross."
And then she was crying on my
shoulder.
Did you ever make up with some one
you'd quarreled with, loving her all the
time "
Did you ever feel, holding the dear
face between your two palms, pressing
sweet kisses on the dear soft mouth, that
it had all come back, all the old love and
trust, and sweetness, and hope that you
thought dead y If you have you must
know what I felt that minute.
2 found myself again. I was Frank
Wollmerath once more. , How strange
it was I
But of all my life I'd like to have that
one momeut back ; it was the sweetest
I ever lived through.
Up in the midst of the far meadow
rose a column of flame. The cow-house
was on fire, and I had locked poor inno
cent young Zaccheus up in it, there to
be roasted alive I
" Oh, Maggie," I cried, glaring at the
sight. " I'm a murderer a murderer,
don't touch me."
And away I flew to undo my mischief,
if there was time. There might be, per
haps. Never was such a run as I took
across the long meadow. When I reach
ed the door, plunging my hand in my
pocket for the key I could not find it. 1
had dropped it somewhere. It was not
about me.
" Zaccheus I" I cried ; " Zaccheus, are
you there y I am on the outside. Cour
age!" There was no answer.
" For heaven's sake, if you can speak,
do," I shrieked, but silence answered
me.
Doubtless the Bmoke had already
smothered the poor fellow, but I set to
work and tore away the burning boards.
I was scorched my hair, my face, my
eyebrows. Twice my clothes were on
fire, but I rolled on the dew-wet grass,
and was up at the flames. Oh, it was
horrible !
If he had been my rival it would have
been bad enough, but an innocent young
fellow ; his sweetheart waiting for him
somewhere !
What a monster I was !
" Heaven have mercy on him 1" cried
I. " Let me save him, don't punish me
by making me a murderer I" and I tore
and wrenched the boards with my burnt
hands. And in a moment more well
it was the roof that fell, I think I
don't know.
" He'll do very nicely now," said one
" very nicely ; plenty of nourishing
food, and the wine as directed. No dan
ger, though his escape is wonderful."
It was the family doctor and I was on
the spare bed in the bedroom, with a
bandage about my hands.
Mother sat there; so did Maggie.
Father looked over the bed foot. Maggie
Wermeskirchen, Lizzie Rhu, Frida
Hensel, Angelica Hensel,and one whose
first name is not known by me were also
visible.
" And why he was so set on saving
that old shell, I can't tell," said mother.
" He must have had something precious
there."
They did not know, then, I sat up, in
bed and looked at them all.
" It wasn't the shed," said I. " Moth
er, father, Maggie, it was Mr. Zaccheus.
I had locked him up in there. I've
murdered him,
" No you haven't," said another ,voloe,
and some one came around the bed.
"I'm alive, you see. You didn't
think I'd Btay locked up in a cow-shed
when I bad an engagement with a lady,
did you y I just burned the lock off with
my cigar, and came away. I intended to
give you a fright in return for your
trick. I suppose it's called a practical
joke in the country but I didn't think
of anything serious I'm really sorry."
I don't know what I said. I know I
felt very foolish ; but that was not half
as bad as feeling like a murderer. .
I had a pretty pair of hands for the
next four weeks, but I didn't mind It as
much as If Maggie had not fed me with
hers.
She petted me as if I were a hero in
stead of an Idiot. I believe she thought
I had done something noble and grand.
And she's been my wife, now how
long, Maggie t Not so long as to have
forgotten to be lovers, though my boy's
head Is on a level with his mother's
shoulders and my own Is turning gray.
A Five Minute Sermon.
A STORY is told of a crazy man who
in some very lucid interval-, asked
a friend if he could tell the difference be
tween himself and the people who were
considered of sound mind. His friend,
curious to Bee what he would say, said :
" No, what Is It y"
" Well," said the crazy man, "It is
that I say all that comes Into my head,
while you other people keep the most it
to yourselves."
My friends, I am afraid the crazy man
was about right, but he was too compli
mentary in his judgment of others.
By this rule there would be a great
many people iu the asylums who are
still at large. Really it seems as if it
never occurred to some persons, who
are supposed to be in their right minds,
whether their thoughts had better be
given to the world or not. Out they
must come, no matter, whether wise or
foolish, good or bad.
Yes, the madman, for once in his life,
was pretty nearly right. One who talks
without consideration, who says every
thing that comes into his or her head, is
about as much a lunatio as those who
are commonly called so. For such will
have one day to give an account for all
their foolish and inconsiderate words,
long after they themselves have forgot
ten them. And to carelessly run up
this account is a very foolish thing.
A little instrument has lately been in
vented, as you no doubt have heard,
which will take down everything you
say. It is called the phonograph. It
makes little marks on a sheet of tinfoil,
and by means of these it will repeat for
you all you have said, though it may
have quite passed out of your own
mind.
There are a great many uses to which
this little instrument may be put; but I
think that one the best would be to
make people more careful of what they
say. They would think before they
spoke, if a phonograph was around.
Few people would like to have a report
kept of their talk, ready to be turned off
at a moment's notice. It would sound
rather silly, if no worse when it was a
day or two old.
Learn Your Business.
A YOUNG man in a leather store
used to feel very impatient with his
employer for keeping him, year after
year, for three years, " handling hides. "
But he saw the use of it in after years,
when in an establishment of his own
he was able to tell by a touch the exact
quality of the goods. It was only by
those thousands of repetitions that the
lesson was learned, and so it is with
everything In which we acquire skill.
The great army of " incapables" is large
enough ; we would none of us willingly
join its ranks. The half-skilled in every
business outnumber the other, dozens to
one. It was a good suggestion, worthy
of being remembered, which Daniel
Webster made to a young man who
asked him if there was any "room in
the legal profession." " There Is always
room enough in the upper stories,"
said the great statesman.
The better you know your business
the belter you chance to rise. If you
drone through your allotted tasks with
out keeping a wide awake lookout on all
that goes on about you, your progress
will be needlessly slow. You can gather
much information by making a wise
use of your eyes and ears, and perhaps
be able to surprise your employer In an
emergency by stepping into the " next
man's" place and discharging his duties
satisfactorily.
" A fine little lad, aome twelve year,
old, was employed in a telegraph office
In a Southern town last year when the
yellow fever raged so fearfully in that
section. All the operatives were down
with it and others sent on by the com
pany were attacked. No one knew that
the lad understood the business, but be
had picked It up and kept up communi
cation between the town and the outer
world all the time the fever lasted.
Ex-Governor Morgan, of New York,
was once a clerk In a store in Water
ford. A trip to New York was an event
in those days, but the young man had
proved so faithful that he was entrusted
with several commissions, among them
being one to buy corn. He came back
in due time in the old stage ooaoh, and
inquiries were made about the corn. The
price was very satisfactory, but the old
gentleman thought It could not be good
at so low a price. A handful which the
young man pulled from his pocket con
vinced him, but what was his amaze
ment to find that he had bought two
cargoes I
" Why, Edwin, what shall we do
with it '"' he asked in consternation.
"I have disposed of all you don't
want," said Edwin, " at an advance. I
stopped in the Btores as I came along. I
could have disposed of three cargoes if I
had them."
The profits were clear, and his em-
ployer said the next morning, " We
will let some one else do the sweeping,"
and Edwin was made a partner under
twenty-one.
A Fish Finds a Ring.
About fifty years ago, or thereabouts,
Admiral X was in command of one
of his Majesty's ships on the Mediter
ranean station. He always wore an
antique ring of rare workmanship and
very great value ; it was curiously en
graved with Arabic or Egyptian charac
tersa ring that nobody could possibly
mistake.
One day when on deck in giving
some orders he lifted his hand, and his
ring slipped off his finger and fell over
hoard. Of course he concluded that he
had seen the last of his favorite ring ;
but a few weeks later he received a let
ter from a irlend, Captain C , who
was stationed at Gibraltar, and who had
heard of his loss, telling him he had
found the ring In the following singular
manner.
He was buying some fish, when on the
vendor's finger he saw the ring, which
he at once recognized (as I said before, it
was one it was impossible to mistake).
He inquired of the woman how she got
it, when she directly answered:
" Sir, it is very odd, and perhaps you
will hardly believe me, but I found it
inside a fish I was cleaning."
I need scarcely add that Captain C
bought the ring, and returned it to his
old friend, who, you may be sure, was
more careful of it after this adventure,
having a double value for it.
A Hard Test.
Ten or a dozen men were enjoying the
hot weather, which baked the shingles
on a ferry dock saloon, recently, when a
stranger walked in and Inquired of the
bar-tender :
" Have you any mint ?"
" Yes, sir," was the reply.
" And you have sugar, lemons, gin,
brandy, and so forth V"
The stranger turned around to the
crowd, noted the sudden increase of in
terest on each face, and kindly said :
" Gentlemen, I'm going to treat every
liar in this room. Let all the liars the
monstrous liars come forward."
Not a foot moved.
" Gentlemen," continued the stranger
in a plaintive tone, " don't be backward.
Juleps wait for all. Every one of you
who is known as a liar will please stand
up."
Not a man stood. The stranger's face
betrayed keen disappointment as he or
dered a rousing big " mint" for himself,
and not a word was spoken in the place
while he sipped the cooling liquid
through a straw. When he had finish
ed he wiped off his mouth and said :
" Well, every truth-teller in the crowd
will now stand up."
Each man rose with the promptness
of a Boldier.
" And sit down again," softly said the
man as made for the door.
They would have sat down ou him,
but great truth-tellers are poor run-,
ners.