THE TIMES, NEW BLOOM HELD, PA., AUGUST 0, 1878.
DUSENBERRY'S COURTSHIP.
Trn. jon dubenbeuhy ntcpped
1Y1 on board the trBln bound for Ho,
ton one morning, feeling a kind of queer
sensation at the pit of his stomach. He
concluded, at the time lie first liecniuo
aware of it, that It was occasioned by
eating too hearty a break fastln too short
a time. Later, he came to a different
conclusion.
He was going " down to Honton" to
visit lils brother Joseph, and stay " till
after the Fourth.'
The car was pretty full, but he succeed
ed In finding an unoccupied sent at Inst
and snt down to look about him. He
had hardly begun to look when another
traveler entered the ear In search of a
seat. Hho wns an old ninld, Job knew,
the moment ho saw her. There are cer
tain signs which can never be mistaken
in the class of single damsels to which
she belonged, that class being the primely-perpendicular
one, nearly nil angles
mid very little curves, and Job bad seen
too ninny of them to be mistaken. He
couldn't Bay that he liked old mnlds,and
yet, being an old bachelor, he feltasym
thy for their Blnglo condition which
made ills heart tender tow ard them.
Bhe looked sharply about her In
search of a sent. As it happened, Job's
was the only one in which there were
not two.
" I'd like the privilege of settln' with
you," sniii she, fixing her engle eye on
Job's, in a way that seemed to dure him
to refuse.
" Shall be delighted to have you," re
plied Job with alacrity, Jumping up that
slio might have the place next to the
window. "A beautiful day, ma'am."
" Lovely," answered his companion,
In a low voice that seemed to come from
down cellar, as she proceeded to arrange
her baskets and bundles about her feet.
" Yes, sir, a lovely day. I told Alnilry
she's my brother John's wife I told
her it was goln' to be Jest a splendid day
Tor trav'lin'."
A light broke in upon Job's mind.
John and Alrnlry, he felt sure, were Mr.
and Mrs. Htebbins. He had heard that
Mr. Htebbins had a sister from Vermont
visiting him.
" I conclude you're Mr. tStebbln'a sis
ter, ma'am," said Job, anxious to find
out if he were right, lie had been ad
vised to go over and see the lady, but
somehow he could never make up his
mind to.
" I be," she answered ; " my name is
Susan Btebbins. What's you in, if I may
be so inquisitive V"
" Dusenberry Job Dusenborry," he
replied, with a bow. He wns very gen
teel In his instincts.
" Is that bo V" exclaimed Miss Steb
bins, catching a side-long glance at Job,
and trying her best to blush. " Almiry's
been hectorln' me about you ever since
I've been there."
"I want to know!" cried Job. He
couldn't think of anything else to say,
and it seemed as if she must expect him
to say something.
"Yes, an' John, too," went on Miss
Stebbins. " But, you know folks will
joke, an' they're alius a talkin' to me
about the men,but I don't mind it enny.
I'm glad to get acquainted with you, for
I ain't much used to trav'lin', on' I like
to hev some one I can look to for perfec
tion, if It's needed."
Job mentally concluded that she was
more capable of protecting herself than
he was of protecting her. But he said
he should be happy to do what he could
for her.
" Air you any relation to the Dusen
berry fam'ly livin' near Putney Vasked
Miss Stebbins.
" No, I don't think I be," answered
Job; "never heard I had any relntlon
there."
" Mr.Dusenbcrry's deacon In the Bap
tist church, an' a real nice man, I alius
thought," went on Miss Stebbins. "He
favors you in complexion, seems to me.
He's a smart lookin' man, an' I should
ha' said you was a connexion. Air you
goin' to Boston 5"'
"I be," said Job; "thought I'd go
down and stay till after the Fourth."
" So be I," answered Miss Stebbins.
" I've got some tradin' to do, and It
pays to go where you can look about and
choose. Solomon Green keeps store up
to Putney, an' he does charge the most
onaccountable prices, now this alpacy
how much should you s'pose I'd ought
to have give a yard for it, Mr. Dusen
berry V"
Job acknowledged his Ignorance
of such matters.
" Wall, sir," said Mies Stebbins, in a
tone which seemed to Imply that she did
not suppose he'd believe her, but it was
us true as gospel, nevertheless ; " wall,
elr, he charged me forty-two cents an' a
La' a yard, an' I couldn't get it a cent
less. He asked forty-flve.but I beat him
down two cents an' a-ha'f, and Miss
Prlngle she's the minister's wife Bhe
got one jest like It to Albany for thlrty
eeven cents ! If that ain't outrageous,
I'd like to know what Is I"
" It's scand'lous, ma'am," said Job,
who began to admire her evident busi-
ness tact; " simply scand'lout,ma'am I"
"You're right," said Miss Stebbins,
an' I told Almlry, buln'a I'd never been
to Boston, I was goin' down, an' I'd see
If Solomon Green 'd got rich out o' cheat
ing me..'
But now Job was In love with her
that Is, he felt tnat she would make a
good housekeeper, which stood for the
same thing In his mind aa wife, and lie
wondered if he couldn't secure her. He
had been wanting a wife for twenty-two
years. He had chances, but, like the
foolish man he was, he had let them all
slip. Now he considered that the curi
ous feeling he had experienced that
morning was a presentiment of he did
not exactly know what, but It evidently
had something to do with Miss Steb
bins. He got out at a small station and got
some fried chicken and apple pie, and
brought them In as a votive offering,
sentimentally speaking, to the lady of
his bosom's affection. She accepted thein
with a smile that made him happy
every time he remembered. Once
he dreamed about that smile, and thought
it sunrise, and got up and dressed him
self before he fairly waked up. When
he did come to his senses he found it
was half-past one, and went back to bed
wondering if all men feel ns he did when
they're in love.
The train started, and Just as Miss
Stebbins was trying to swallow a small
chicken-hone, and making a very wry
face over it, the cars gave an awful
leap, and then none of them knew
very much about what had happened
for the next few minutes. Wheti Job
came to himself he was sitting in a shal
low puddle of water, and the first
thought came to him was that he had
turned into a big bull-frog. But, look
ing about lilm, in a bewildered way, for
a solution of the mystery, he saw Miss
Stebbins sitting on a floating portion of
a wrecked car farther out In the pond,
dripping like Undine, if not as agreeable
to look at.
" Bo you hurt, Mr. Dusenberry V" sho
nsked, as she discovered him.
"No, I don't think I be," answered
Job. "Had a smash up, hain't we V"
Miss Stebbins.
"Seems bo," answered Miss Stebbins.
I guess there hain't nobody killed, an'
that's lucky. I'm glnd you ain't hurt.
I wns nfeared you was."
Her solicitude touched Job's heart as
nothing else ever had.
" You ain't damaged any ,be you V" he
asked anxiously.
" Not any to speak of," answered Miss
Stebbins, " but my clo'es Is jest com
pletely Bpilt. There's my bunnct sailln'
about over there. I wish you'd git It fer
me."
Job secured a pole, and, after angling
unsuccessfully for a while, got a bite and
landed this new kind of fish on the
bank, where it lay In a very limp and
dejected condition, having but little re
semblance to the showy bonnet Miss
Stebbins had worn.
" I'm comin' ashore," announced Miss
Stebbins.
" Let me come and git you," proposed
Job, not without some trepidation, It
must be confessed.
"No, I can get along 'thout putting
you to any trouble," answered Miss
Stebbins.
" What a self-reliant woman sho Is,"
Job thought admiringly. " She'd take
care of a man, now."
She gathered the ruined " alpacy"
about her, stepped off the extemporized
raft, and waded ashore without scream
ing snakes 1 or any thing of the kind.
Job concluded that she was one woman
In a hundred. 80 she was.
" You're all mud and scum," said she
after Inspecting Job closely. " I'll git a
stick an' some grass an' kinder clean
you up." And for the next ten minutes
Job experienced new and novel bliss In
being " cleaned up" by this energetic
woman, who had now obtained complete
possession of his heart. She's a man
ager," concluded Job. " If she had
charge of my place, now, she'd make
things fetch in suthln'. I wish she
had."
The conductor announced that it would
be two or three hours before they could
proceed.
" Don't you feel as If you'd like to
have somethln' to eat V" asked Job. " I
guess you didn't feed that chicken."
" I would like somethln', answered
Miss Stebbins, and Job proposed that
they should visit a farm-house near by
and procure some.
" I'll set out here on this stone in the
sun, an' dry myself till It is ready,"
said Miss Stebbins, and took a position
on a rock by the roadside. Job satdowu
by her.
" I'm thankful we ain't killed," said
she. " How lucky I got acquainted with
you, ain't It ? Friends is always so pleas
ant in sich times. The glance which ac
companied this sentiment ,' finished
Job.
" Oh, Miss Stebbins, let mfl be your
friend for life!" cried he, wjth an awful
pallor on his face, the effort he made In
saying it was so Intense. " I know it is
sudden, but then I" and there stuck
fast.
"Do you lnean marriage V asked
Miss Htebbins, with such warmth at
heart that her clothes dried rapidly from
the diffused heat.
" Yes, I do," answered Job " I do."
"I don't know what John an' Al
mlry would say, but I ain't no objections
to speak on," answered Miss Stebbins,
with downcast eyes and beaming face.
"Then it's a bargain I" exclaimed
Job. "Oloryl This Is bctter'n the
Fourth I I'm going to kiss you, Miss
Stebbins."
" You may If you want to, an' call me
Susan," sho said.
The boy who was looking out of the
window reported to his mother, busy
over the dinner, that the man was kiss
lng the woman.an' he should think he'd
be ashamed of himself.
But Job never thought of such a
thing! Wasn't he engaged to be mar
ried V And didn't a man have a right to
kiss a woman when she had promised to
marry him V
I can't say what wonderful bargains
Miss Stebbins made in the dry-goods
line, but she went home with a man,and
has been happy ever since. So haB
Job.
A Ludicrous Mlstnke.
JUST before noon yesterday Mr. Jones
sat down on an empty barrel stand
ing in front of a liquor store on Michi
gan street, and remarked that It was
cheaper to lose two dollars' worth of
time waiting for the car than to foot it
nine blocks.
Mr. Jones Is long and lean, and does
not weigh over one hundred and thirty
poundB. The barrel ought to have held
up two like him, but ns he wiggled about
to secure an easy position the head fell
in. Mr. Jones fell in after the head. It
wasn't the best he could do, but 110 time
was given him to plan and ponder. The
first thing he knew after the crash wan
finding his feet and ankles over one side
and his shoulders and head wedged
against the opposite. Ills head was bent
forward until Ills neck was nearly bro
ken, his legs seemed to have been driven
up, and he was right whero the boys
wanted him. He yelled out In Bmother
ed tones, and an aged lady who keeps
an Intelligence office near the scene of
accident, looked down from her window
and called out :
"Bub,we don't want any such fooling
around here."
" Bub be blowed iemnie out help !
help !" hoarsely roared Jones.
"Oh I young man, you are on your
way to the gallows "' said the lady, as
she drew back from the window.
Few people walk the streets at noon,
and Mr. Jones yelled out many times be
fore the grocer came out. He saw the
feet Btlcklng up, and giving them a rap
with a potato smasher, exclaimed:
" You boys deserve killing 1"
" I am a dyig in here help me
out!" roared Jones.
" I'll die you, you old vagrant !" re
plied the grocer, seeing that the feet be
longed to a man, and he gave the barrel
a spiteful kick.
Four or five boys came around the
corner and when they discovered what
was up one of them recognized Jones'
voice. Looking into the barrel he
asked ,'
" Is that you, Jones ?"
"Yes yes," grasped Jones.
" Are you doing well down there, Mr.
Jones?"
" Oh I Heavens lemme up !" cried
the prisoner.
" Aren't you easy In your mind, Mr.
Jones V" inquired another boy.
"I tell you I am dying I" shouted Mr.
Jones, as he tried to struggle around.
" I believe you are a liar," replied the
grocer, giving the barrel a shake.
When he was convinced that the man
in the barrel was not a vagrant or a
beggar, he set about helping him out.
He tried to lift him up, but Jones yelled
for mercy, and the boys put in their
talk and decided that the barrel should
be tipped over. This was done, and
while the grocer went after the hatchet
to knock the hoop oft', the boys rolled
Mr Jones up and down the walk " to
cool him off."
"Do you fell better now, Mr. Jones V"
inquired one.
"Have you cramps in the stomach,
Mr. Jones V" asked a second.
" Do you really and truly want to get
out of that palace car, Mr. Jones V" in
quired a third.
And Jones growled and took on, and
tried to kick as the boys rolled him
along he was heard making a solemn
vow that he would kill every boy in De
troit If he ever got out of that barrel.
The grocer finally came with bis hatchet
and as he knocked at the hoops he said
it was a pity to go and destroy a nice
barrel like that in order to save a human
life. . ,
The staves finally fell in and Jones
fell out, gave a yell and scrambled to
his feet.
" Ah 1 he's the man to play circus
tricks ! " exclaimed one of the boys.
"You bet he's the boss performer!"
yelled another. '
Mr. Jones clawed around and tried to
get them, and as he limped away the old
lady in the intelligent office looked out
of the window and said :
" If that man doesn't go around rob
bing clothes-lines then I'm no judge of
human nature."
Ethan Allen's Dream.
A GOOD STOHY Is told of the brave
old patriot, Colonel Ethan Allen,
whose services to his country In the
" tlma that tried men's souls" wereonly
equalled by his daring assertions of the
right of private opinion on theological
matters.
A well known close communion Bap
tist divine, pastor of the village church,
to which his wife belonged, called one
evening on the Colonel, and while en
gaged In his true New England hospi
tality at the supper table the conversa
tion naturally turned upon church mat
ters. Quoth the minister, " Colonel, how
does it hapen that a man of your ex
tensive Influence and Information has
never seen It his duty to Join our socle
ty V You know we want laborers in
the vineyard, especially such laborers as
you, and your now scattered contribu
tions would be much more effective, If
concentrated In our church, with your
personal efforts to direct them. Your
example would tend greatly to strength
en our hands and fortify our hearts
against the dire assaults of the Evil
One."
" Well, brother," replied Allen, " I've
often thought as you say about this busi
ness, and one day I had almost made up
my mind to fall into the ranks, but that
night I had a dream, which caused me
to give It up." ,
" And," exclaimed the minister,
" what did you dream '"'
"Well,I thought I was standing at the
entrance of Paradise, and saw a man go
up and knock."
" Who's that ?' asked a voice from
within."
" 1 A friend wishing admittance,' was
the reply."
" The door opened and the ' keeper
stepped out."
"Well, sir, what denomination did
you belong to down yonder?"
" I was an Episcopalian,' replied the
candidate for admittance."
" Go, then, and take a seat near the
door on the east side."
" Just then another stepped up ;" he
was a Presbyterian, and the guardian di
rected him to a seat. A large number
were admitted, and received directions
where to seat themselves. I then step
ped to the entrance.
" ' Well, sir, who are you ?' nsked'the
guardian."
" I am neither High Churchman,Pres
byterlan, Lutheran, Calvanlst, Catholic
nor Jew, but I am the same old Ethan
Allen that you have probably heard of
from down below, as a liberal man and
benefactor of his race."
" What, the same man w ho took Ti
conderoga, In the name of the comman
der here?"
" ' The same,' I replied." '
"'All right. Mr. Allen,' said he;
' just you step In, and sit down wherever
you please. And if you' want to see
your old close friend, the Rev. Am i
nadab Robinson, you will find him In
the northeast corner.'
Went off Like a Lamb.
There was a time when it was consid
ered Justifiable and humane to hurry
a little the departure of a filleted friends,
suffering from utterly hopeless maladies,
like hydrophobla,consumption and black
jaundice. Now-a-days a morbid phi
lanthropy has decided against the prac
tice once adopted by the best people,
from the best of motives ; but I can for
one no more doubt the benevolence than
the resolution and energy of a certain
Yankee dame, who was one of the last
to act on the old principle.
HerhuBband had a wonderful "gift"
of endurance, but really his end, a
troubled end, seemed very near. The
minister came and prayed with him
the doctor had made his last visit, and
left no " stuff," and the dog howled In
the back yard. In the morning the good
minister called again to find the looking
glass and the picture of the Washington
family veiled in white muslin, the village
dress-maker cutting on bombazine, and
the good wife weeping. Then ensued a
conversation like unto this:
" Has our beloved brother departed
this life ?" -t. ' -
" Yes, husband's dead and laid out."
" Ah l be ia then at rest ! Did he suf
fer much, sister, toward the last ?" ,
" Awful ! he went out of his bead, and
moaned and gasped, and tosBed about,
and as you had administered spiritual
consolatiou. and he was prepared to die,
and the doctor said there wasn't no more
hope for him to git well than fur a last
vear's mornin' clorv to blow out agin. I
jlst took pity on him, and he did thrash
round so, and couldn't no way enjoy life
any longer, and so I got a big piller and
put it over his face, and sot down on it,
ana men ne weni on line a lamo."
V E G E T I NE
I Will Try Vegetlno.
He Did,
AND WAS CURED.
.. Ukuwahs, o.,Ft. in. ist.
Mr. If. R. Rteyan: Dear Mir t wish to Hire
you this tatlnitir, tlmt nu mjr know, and let
otheri know, what Veitetlne tin done lor inn.
About two years ago a small mire cum 011 my
li'H: It noon im-ama large Ulcer, do troublesome
that I consulted the doctor, tint I get no relief,
(i owing worse from day to day. 1 sulTered ter
ribly! 1 could not rest dny or night 1 1 Was no re
duced my friends thought 1 would never recover 1
1 oonsulted a doctor at Columbus. 1 followed III
advice 1 It did no good. 1 can truly nay 1 was dls
coin lined. At this time! wan looking over my
newspaper t! sawyouradvertlseinentof Vegetlne,
the "(Heat Wood I'urlller" (or cleansing the
Idooil from all Inipurltlen, curing Humors, tloers,
&o. I snld to my futility, I will 117 noma of the
Vegntlne. llefora 1 bad unfit the tlmt bottle I
began to feel better. 1 made up my mind I had
Hot the right medicine at Inst. I could not sleep
well night. 1 continued taking the Vegetlno, I
took thirteen bottle. My health In good. The
Ulcer In gone, and 1 am able to at tend to bulnes.
I paid about four hundred dollar for medicine
and doctors before 1 bought Vegntlne. I have
recommended Vegetlne to other with Rood mm
cess. 1 alwayskeep a bottle of It In (lis house
now. Jt la a most excellent medicine.
Very respectfully yours, K. ANTHONI.
Mr. Antbonl la one of the pioneers of Delaware,
'). He settled here In 1134. ile Is wealthy gen
tlemen, or the firm of K. Authoiil ft Hons. Mr.
Anthonl Is extensively known, especially among
the germans. lie I well known In Cincinnati"
lie Is respected by all.
Imimjhb IttxK)!). In morbid condition of the
blood are many diseases 1 siioh as aaltiheuin.
ring-worm, bolls, carbuncle, sore, ulcers anil
pimple. In this condition of the blood try the
Vegetlne. and cure these affection. Asa blood
puriller It has no equal. Its effects are wonderful.
VE GET IN 11
Cured Iter.
IxmctiFSTiB, Mass., June 11.
8tvkns: Dear Hir, 1 feel It my duty to
say one word In regard to the great benefit I have
received from the use of one of the greatest
wonders of the world i It Is your Vegetlne. I
have been one of the greatest sufferers for the
last eight years that ever could be living. I do
sincerely thank my Mod and your VegeUns for
the relief I have got. The Uheuuiatlsm has pain
ed me to such an extent, that my feet broke out
In sore. For the last three year 1 have not
been able to walk; now I can walk and sleep, and
do my work a well as ever I did, and 1 must say
1 owe It all to your blood turlller, Vegetlne.
MAKUK1U WELLS.
Vbiietins. The great success of the Vegetl ne
as a cleanser and purifier of the blood Is shown
beyond a doubt by the great numbers who have
taken It, and received Immediate relief, with such
remarkable cures.
VE GETINE .
lit brtter than uny
MEDICINE.
HSNtiEiiwm, Kr Dec. 1S7T.
I have used II. K. Htevens' Vegetlne, and like It
better than any medicine 1 have used for purify
ing the blood. One bottle of Vegetlne accomplish
ed more good than nil other medicines I have
taken. TilOH. LYKK,
Vboetise I composed of Hoots, Harks and
Herbs. Ills pleasant to takes every child likes It.
VEGETINE.
Recommended hj
M. !.'.
II. B. Steven: Dear Sir, I have sold Vege.
tine for a long time, and llnd It give most ex
cellent satisfaction, A. B. DE X'lKHT. M. I).,
llaleton, Ind.
VKOKTINK
Prepared
H. K. STEVENS, Boston, Mass.
aug
Vegetlne Is Sold bj all Druggists.
jyjUSSER & ALLEN
CENTRAL STORE
NEWPORT, FENN'A.
Now offer the public
A KAItE AND ELEGANT ASSORTMENT OF
DRESS GOODS
Consisting sf all shades suitable for the season.
BLACK ALP AC CAS
AND
Mourning Goods
, A SPECIALITY.
BLEACHED AND UNBLEACHED
MUSLINS,
AT VARIOUS PRICES.
AH ENDLESS SELECTION OF PRINTS!
We sell and do keep a good quality of
SUGARS, COFFEES & SYRUPS,
And everything under the head of
GROCERIES 1
Machine needles and oil for all makes of
Macblues.
To be convinced that our goods are
CHEAP AS THE CHEAPEST,
IS TO CALL AND EXAMINE 8TOCK.
'. No trouble to show goods.
Don't forget the
CENTRAL STORE,
Newport, Perry County, Pa.
J. hi. Giarix.
J. II. Gib vim.
J. M. GIRVIN & SON.,
FLOUR GRAIN, SEED Sl PRODUCE
Commission Merchants,
No. 64 Sooth b'ay, St.,
BALTIMORE, MD.
We will pay strict attention tn the sale of aM
kinds of Country Produce anil remit the amouuta
promptly. lyr.
' J. M. GIBVIN A SON.
MEN'S WLIL SES'M'S
amine the splendid assortment for sale by F
MORTIMER. You can suit yourself In stylo aa4
price.