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THE TIMES, NEAV 1JL00M FIELD, PA.; APRIL ,), 1878.
WASHING A LOVER.
AltAlNY day lu the country !
Drip, drip 1 Bounded the water In
the barrel under the eaves ; patter, patter
I t inkled down the raindrops upon the
leaves of the seryngaa and lilac bushes;
mid Ijiiey Darl, Bitting at the window,
Iter round chin resting In her hands,
Htid her eyes fixed dreamily on the
Moods, half hidden In vapory mists,
began to feel the least bit In the world
to red.
An open letter lay In her lap a letter
to which Mie referred every now and
then, with a pretty, half-puzzled con.
traction of her brows.
- "Wash and wear!" she repeated to
livreelf. "I wonder what Aunt Judith
means? 'She hopes that whichever of
my suitors I may elect to prefer will
wash and wear.' Upon my word, that
U likening the lords of creation to a
pattern of calico, or a glnghan sun-bonnet!"
And Lucy laughed a little a very be
coming process, which brought out the
. dimples around her cherry lips, and the
dewy eparkles under her long auburn
lashes.
' I'm sure they are both models of
amiability and good temper," said she
to herself "that Is as fur as I know."
; And then all of a sudden It occurred
to her how little a woman could really
know of the actual bona fide habits and
character of a man until she Is married
to him, past all escape.
"Ah, If one could peep behind the
scenes!" said Lucy. "If one could
only put a lover on trial for a month,
as Aunt Judith takes a servant girl, and
illscharge him if he don't give satisfac
tion 1 And then the wash-and-wear
question, which gives Aunt Judith so
much tribulation, could be easily settled.
"Heigho! I believe I shall have to draw
lots which I will marry, Eugene Folll
ott, or George Haven. But there's no
use wrinkling up my forehead about It
now ; time will decide. In the mean
time I shall be hopelessly wearied If I
sit here staring at the rain. I'll put on
my things and run over to Nell Folli-
ott's. Eugene will have started for the
city long ago."
It was a pretty, shaded road, delicious
in the freshness of a morning, but rath
er drippy and dragly, just at present,
that led to the old Folliott mansion a
sturdy erection of gray stone, with half
a doicen honey locusts keeping guard
over It like a band of sentinels.
' Lucy arl, a privileged visitor, did
not ring a't'tbe front door bell, but slip
ped quietly in at the back door and ran
ip to Miss Folliott'u room.
"At home, Nell V" Bhe cried, tapping
softly on the panels of the door.
"Of course I'm at home," said Nell,
brightly, opening It. " You dear little
rosebud, you've come just In time to
help me about the pattern for my new
cashmere polonaise. Isn't It a wretched
day?"
. And the two girls were presently deep
in the mysteries of "bias folds," "knife
pleating," and "side gores," until, all of
a Budden a surly, masculine voice down
the hall cried :
" Where's my breakfast, I say ' I
want my breakfast! Confound all you
women folks, why don't you bring me
my breakfast ' Am I to starve to death!
Nell! Mother; Come, wide awake
there! Bring my Bllppers! Fetch the
newspapers, somebody 1 And look sharp
lo you hear V"
And the door was banged shut again
with considerable emphasis.
Nell looked at Lucy with a crimsoning
brow. Lucy opened wide her inquiring
'eyes.
" It's Eugene," Mild Nell, In ratheran
embarrassed manner. "He was out late
last night, and he overslept himself this
morning."
" Oh !" ' said Lucy, beginning to be
conscious that a flaw existed in this pat
ent masculine diamond that this pat
tern of goods "washed" but indiffer
ently. At this moment footsteps hurried by.
It was the patient and much enduring
Mrs. Folliott, bringing up the tray of
' toast and tea.
" I wouldn't wait on a man so," said
Lucy, indignantly.
Presently poor Mrs. Folliott returned,
with the tray scarcely touched, and
stopped in Nell's room to relieve her
mind.
" He won't touch a mouthful, because
it isn't smoking hot," said she with a
sigh. " He's crosser than one would
: think possible, and"
' But here ahe checked herself abruptly
at the sight of Miss Darl.
"I beg your pardon my dear!" said
she,' I did not see you."
"OV don't mind me," said Lucy, col
orlng. "I'm going over to Mrs. Ha.
Ten's a few minutes to see aboutaiein
he promised to get me from the Hart
, ford woods.
For It had occurred to Miss Lucy that
this was an excellent opportunity to test
the "washing and wearing" qualities of
. the second of her lovers. Folliott had
hetri weighed in the balance and found
wanting. Now let George Haven take
his chance. The Haveu cottage stood
about an eighth of a mile further down
the road a pretty little honey-sueklo
garlanded aflhlr and Lucy Darl, feeling
ruther like a spy, crept upthe stairs (no
body chanced to be In the hall,) and
took refuge In Mrs. Haven's own neat
little boudoir.
Mrs. Haven hadhree or four unruly
llldlsclpllned children staying with her
that summer the children of an inva
lid sister and Mrs. Haven was not rich
in this woild'a goods like the Folllotts.
As Lucy sat there wondering wheth
er a lucky chance was about to befriend
her, as it had befriended her before, a
cheery voice sounded below. George hud
Just come In, dripping butcheerful,from
the post-office.
" Hello, mother ! what's the matter V
Crying and discouraged 1 Why this will
never do in the world! Come, little
folks, run off to the barn, every one of
you, and play. The lire smokes, does
It V Well, never mind ; I'll have things
all straight In a minute, with a few
kindlings. The fact Is, mother, you sit
at home too much. You get nervous. I
must contrive some way of taking you
out to drive every day.
A sly, dimpled smile came into Lucy
Darl's face as she heard the strange, ca
ressing voice of her lover, bringing hope
and courage with it, and reflected that
he was certainly of a different stamp
front Eugene Folliott, whose dashing
manners and city airs and graces had so
nearly captivated her.
It was quite evident tbatAe would
"wash and wear," according to Aunt
Judith's theory.
" I suppose I am a little nervous at
times, George," Mrs. Haven answered,
"but I never feel it wheu you are here.
I don't know what I should do without
a eon like you. But If you ever get
married"
But Lucy Darl could not stand this
she felt like a little, innocent eaves-dropper,
as she was, and hurried down stairs.
" You here, Lucy," cried Mrs. Haven
who was busy at her stocking-darning.
" You here, Miss Darl!" exclaimed
ueorge, who nau just brought in an
armful of fresh kindlings.
" 1 couldn't find any one up stairs,"
said Lucy, blushlngly,and looking pain
fully conscious. " I looked all over.
I've just come to ask you If you got the
root of Hartford fern you promised me,
Mrs. Haven."
' It's set out In a flower pot under the
back kitchen window," said Mrs. Ha.
ven. "But you'll stay here all day, Lu
cy, dear, now that you are here."
Miss Lucy did not refuse.
Mr. Eugene Folliott lay in bed until
eleven, and read novels. At noon he
came down stairs.
'Confounded dull here, without a stul
to speak to," said he.
Of course his mother and sister were
outside the pale of civilized humanity.
And at sunset, when the crimson
beams of the declining orb of day broke
radiantly out through parting clouds, he
tied on his best necktie, and pinned a
pink carnation in his button-hole.
" I think I'll go over to Mrs. Darl's
for a little while," said he.
" You needn't," said astute Nell.
"Why not V"
" Because Lucy was here this morn
ing, and heard you scolding at poor
mamma, and because I saw her go by
Just now with George Haven, and they
are engaged."
" How do you know V"
" By instinct."
Mr. Folliott made a grimace, unpin
ned the carnation and stayed at home.
The engagement became a public af
fair the next day, and Lucy Darl wrote
back to her Aunt Judith that she had
accepted a lover whom she could war
rant as an article that would "wash and
wear."
GETTING THEIR PICTURES TAKEN.
H'
AND in hand they passed timidly up
the stairs and went into the gallery
and told the artist they had come to have
their pictures taken.
" In a group or singly y "
" Well," said Zeke, removing his hat,
and wiping his face with a red cotton
handkerchief taken from the crown. "I
don't know edzactly. Which comes the
cheapest ?"
It was explained to him that the price
would depend more upon the size and
style of the picture than it would wheth
er they sat separate or together, and so,
after a whispered consultation they con
cluded as they had joined hands for life
it would be better to put them in one
frame.
As the artist was placing them in po
sition Zeke looked sweetly upon his
companion, and said :
" Now Tolly, I want you to look your
purtiest. Think o' that picture o' the
Sleeping Beauty on tha panel o' your
father's wagon box, and try your smart
est to walk arouud it. You kin do it
if you try you've got the feechera that
kin lay it in the shade if you'll only
compoBO 'em an' bring out the right sort
o' expression. You don't want to look
brassy, tiuther too timid ; but just a kind
o' Iwtwlxt and between. You don't
want to git that sanktlmonIous,Bolemn
cholly look about you that Bister Pease
ly puts on whenever she gets up In class
uieetln' and goes to tellln' about how
fust we're all sliding down hill to perdi
tion. That won't do at all you've got
It every bit Jest as she has, and not a
fringe tnlssln', Tone it down some with
a little twitch of smiles. Hold on too
much, that is there you go ag'ln, and
now you've got that wild bloodthirsty
stare your sister Bnsan has whenever the
old muley steps Into the milk bucket.
8tlddy there hold easy now you're
edging 'round to It that Is better. Look
where the man p'lnts, and don't move a
muscle 1111 1 git my face In trim. Don't
wink or blink, Polly there give me
your hand, and don't git skeered I'm
with you. AH ready, Mr. Man. As
soon as 1 tap my foot crack awity. Mum
mum, Polly."
Away went the cloth and the poor
creatures liefore the camera sat as rigid
as bean poles during the intervening sec
onds, which seemed an age; Just at the
lust moment as bad luck would bare it,
Pilly had to sneeze.
"There!" exclaimed Zeke. "Yon
hare blowed the trhole head ofT'en that
phrter, now, I'll bet a bag o' potatoes,
nn' jnlne, too, may be. Why didn't)
you muzzle in a ml note or two longer?"
Polly had tried ami said she couldn't
to sure her life the smell of the paint
had filled her head d something had1
(o break.
The artist had bee quick to see the
emergency and threw the cloth over the
camera ad said he guessed no great
damage had been done. In a few min
utes the picture was ready for their in
spection. " Well, I swan to goodness, Polly, If
you don't lwok sweeter than a cake of
maple sugnr, and just as natural as a
rail fence; but I don't have quite as
searchln' a look about sue as I would
like to take home. My hair might o'
had a little more roach tslt,and It seems
to me If my left ear was sot round a lit
tle too fur, but the flnger-?lng you'll no
tice, shines out beautifully, and the
breastpin is all there. B was too anx
ious about you to get as composed as I
or't to have been, but I dc't know as it
could of been bettered muofa. It's a bet
ter lookln' couple than any I see hang
In' around here, and so I paesu we won't
bother the man to take alui at us again.
It's ahead of anything I've ever seen in
Thompson township, anal so I guess
we'll take It along. It's' a good plcter
the more I look at it the better I like it.
If I'd only had a little mor roach on my
hair I could not have bees suited bet
ter." Leaders of Society.
Years ago Lord Lyons, then the Eng
lish Minister, imported a coachman, and
it was not long before he was well
known. Boon afterwards he began
trading horses, and made a great deal
of money. Following that he went into
the grocery business in what is known
as the "old First Ward" of Washing
ton, and accumulated more money. He-
married, and a son came to his family
When the father died he left plenty of
money, which bis son inherited, suc
ceeding him in the grocery business.'
The son was too proud, however to stiek
to It, and he gave it up, and Invented bis
money In other ways. About the time
the English coachman eame here a
French cook direct from France, ar
rived here, and secured employment
with the French Minister. He also was
married, and had three or four daugh
ters. Like the coachman, he amassed a
great deal of money, and Increased it by
fortunate real estate speculations. He
owned several squares of property in the
neighborhood, since bought up by Hal
let Kilbourne's real estate pool. The
son of the coachman married the datigh
ter of the cook, and they are to-day the
leaders of Washington society.
Too Sharp for the Landlord.
T I WAB more common years ago than
X recently for landlords and stage-drlv-
ere to have an understanding with each
other, whereby, for a consideration paid
the driver, hungry travelers were scarce
ly allowed time to comfortably seat
themselves at the tabic, when the driver
would announce the immediate depart
ure of the btage, thus cheating people
out of a meal who paid for one.
1 remember being one of a stage load
of hungry travelers crossing the Blerra
Nevada before railroads had spanned it
when a noted judge, still on the bench
and an equally noted professor of an
eastern college, were of the party.-
Our arrival at a dinner station was
hailed with delight by all the party, and
we filed into the dining-room to attack
the savory viands, the landlord, how
ever, first taking care to collect the fee
for the meal from each of us. We had
certainly not been five minutes at the
tuble, and some of us, in waiting to be
helped to coll'ee, had not tasted a mouth
1 ful of food, when our driver shouted :
"All aboard ( I'm behind time and
can't wait a minute lofgcr."
A look of mingled consternation and
disgust spread from face to face, as we
sprang from the table, but the Judge re-
malned cool, as he touched the professor
on the orm.
" Will you see to the bread supply, If
I take care of the meat ?" he queried.
The professor caught nt his purpose
and promptly assented. In another In
stant the Judge had conveyed a large tur-
key and a couple of spring chickens,
ready carved, from their platters to two
napkins, while the professor emptied
the contents of the bread platen Into an
other, and, led by the Judge, they
marched triumphantly te the coat.
Their example was contagious ; each
of the paesengers hastily confiscated
some articles of food meata, vegetables
even pastry until the dining-room was
pretty thoroughly stripped of everything
that went to makeup the concomitants-
of a good meal, and the interior of the
coach bore the appearance, I Imagine, of
Bherman's raid, while the bewildered
and amazed look f the face of the
speechless landlord, as we drove off,
would have proven a prize-study to an
artist. The roars of laughter It caused
us proved a good condiment to our
strangely Improvised raeal.
The Matrimonial Lottery.
A young stranger called on Dr. M'C
one evening, while he was a pastor in
New York city, to engage his services
in the performance of a- nuptial cere
mony.
" I wish to make a bargain with you
doctor," said the young man. " I think
the girl I am to marry wllPmake a first
rate wife. If you will waif for your fee,
and she turns out as I think she will,
111 then give you fifty dollats."
They agreed, the young couple were
married, and the Incident passed from
the doctor's mind. At the end of the
year, at the same time In the- evening,
the young man called again. The doc-
top did not recognize him at ftret.
"Do you not remember ttoe bargain
ws made when you married me a year
ago?"
Oh ye," replied the doctsn
Well, said the young man "she Is
twice as good as I thought she was.
There's on hundred dollars iter you."
Bxactly the opposite of thin- Is the fol
lowing:
A clergyman in one of the Hudson
litver towns united a Oerman.ouple In
marriage. Wheu the knot wm tied, the
bridegroom said, " Dominie, 3? ve got no
mouish, bat I'll send you von little
j4g-."' It vow done, and the circumstance
was forgotten by the clergyman. Two
years afterward he met the (German in
another town, for the first t'me since
the marriage ceremony was performed.
" Dominie," said the German, " you
remembers you married me. Mid I gave
you von leetle pig?')
Yes."
Veil, if you unmarry meliw ill give
you two leetle pigs."
Rhetorical Gems.
The Bt. Louis " Republican' says:
A few rhetorical gems, cuiteti from a
speech by a Four Courts lawyer the
other day, are here given :
" I tell you, gentlemen, thftt the de
fendant is as innocent as the child that
never was born."
"Gentlemen, I think I ana. guiltless of
whatever I here assert, because I think I
speak the truth."
" The prosecuting witness, gentle
men, is a man that carries weeping, and
that is guilty of a man who. came near
being murdered by being shot at two
weeks ago."
" The more younger the- ehild Is the
more truth there is in it, and the ig-
noranter the man is the more like
child he is. The jiollce can't give bim
riddles, because he can't answer them,
and so he has to speak the truth and
don't lie. Bo, you see, that witness of
mine told the truth."
"I tell you, gentlemen, them notice
are simply damuuble,and I'm after them
like a leech."
The creator of the foregoing combina
tion was the same gentleman who, while
the case was in progress, demanded to
know of a witness, "Where was you on
the day of , and if so, state
whether you were there or not V" Then
he frowned and grew angry because the-
witness wouldn't answer yes or no.
Cir A skeptical and conceited young
fellow ' once told an old Quaker, that
he did not believe in the Divine origin
of the bible, as there was no proof of it.
The Quaker replied : " Do you believe
there is such a country as Africa ?"
" Yes for though I have never seen it
other people have."
" Then thee does not believe In any
thing that thee or some one ele haw not
seen?"
" No, of course not."
" Did thee ever see your bruin. y"
" No."
" Did thee ever see any person who
had?"
"No."
"Then according to thy belief thee
can not have any, and perhaps in this
case thy doctrine la right."
VEGETINB
ton
CHILLS, SHARKS, FKVWt & AQUK.
T.rlMi.n K n 1U?
Dr. ft. H. Stevens
Dear Hlr,l lei very graterul for what your
Valuable medicine, Vegetlne.has (Vine In my fam
ily. I wmh to express my thank by Informing
you of the woiulrful cure of my eon : also to hit
you know that Vegetlne Is the best medlclue 1
ever saw lor Chills, Shakes. Frver mid Ague. My
son was sick with measles In IH7.I, which left 111 in
with Hip-Joint disease. My son sulk-red a grent
deal of pain, all of the time; the pain was so treat
lie did nothing but cry. The doctors did not help
nun a parucis. ne coma not nit ins loot from the
floor, lie could not move without crutches. I read
vour advertisement In the " Louisville rourlAr.
Journal," that Vegetlne was a great Wood Purl-
uer anu moou roou. i iriea one Dome, which
was a great benefit. He kept on with the medi
cine, gradually gaining? He has take eighteen
bottles In all, and he Is completely restoled to
health, walks without crutches or cane. He Is
years of age. 1 have a younger son, 15 ol age;
who Is subject to Chills. Whenever he leels one
coming on, he comes in, takes a dose of Vegetlne
and that Is the last of the Chill Vegetlne Iwaws
no Daa enect upon tne system line inosi ot the
medicines recommended for Chills. I cheerfully
recommend Vegetlne for such complaints. 1
uiiuk ii is me me greatest medicine in me world.
nespecuuiiy, mho. j. w. i.tuvi).
Vegetlne. When the blond becomes lifeless and
stagnant, either from change of weather or H
climate, want of exercise, Irregular diet, or from
any other cause, the Vegetlne will renew the
Wood carry of the putrid humors, cleanse the
stomach, regulal the bowels, and impart a ton-
u vigor iv wie wnuie oouy.
VEQETINE.
ran
DYSPEPSIA, KEB VO USNESS,
ANIMSKNKHAL DEBILITY.
' Bernaraston, Mass., 1878..
We. the underslsned. havlncr used VrHnn
tn.e pleasure la recommending It to all those
troubled with Hiuuors of any kind, Dyspepsia,
Nervouness.or;Hiieral Debllliv. It belnir th-
Grerit Blood further. Hold by . L. Crowell &
sons, who sell more of It than all other patent
megiolnes put Iwelher.
MKS. 1,. r. .TlJKrUNH.
MKS. II. W. HCOTT.
JOSKl'HUS 8I.ATK.
Vtntlnefs the-great health restorer eomnosNl!
exclusively of bapfc. roots, and herbs. It Is very
pienstMii. io iaae; every cnuu lines 11.
VEGETINE.
TOR
HE R VO VH II E A DA CUE
AND RHEUMATISM.
f'lnrlnniitl n Anrll 0 1877
II. It. Ktevens, Es .i
Dear-Hlr. I have uced your Vegetlne for Ner
vous Headache, and also lor Rheumatism, and
have found entire relief from both. ami take great
pleasure In reaommeiKting It to all who may be
like atflfcted. Fit Ell. A. OOOH.
1U8 Mill til., Uinn.
Yepelne has rentM-prl thntisnnrls in health trhi.
had Gsnn long ami painful sufferers.
VEOETHSTE.
BRUGG-I8TS' TESTIMONY.
Mr. H.'i. Stevens r
Dear Wr, Wi have been selling your remf dv,
the Vegiti ne, for about years, una take great
pleasure In recommending it to our customers,
and In 9 Instance when a blood purl Iter would
reach the case, has It ever failed to effect a cure,
to our Itnowledge. itcvi tainly Is the ne plus
intra 01 renovators. .
St M. bUECUEBD & CO., Druggists,
ML Vernon, III.
Is aeVKiivledned fev all classes of neniile to he
the besS and most leliuble blood puriller In the
world. April.
rvep:red
H. ML STEVENS, Boston, Mass.
TegeKn fci S3a by ali Druggists..
JOSSER & ALLEN
CENTRAL STORE
NEWPORT, PENN'A..
Now otter the public
A UAaX AND KLKliANT ASSORTMENT Or
DRESS GOODS
Consisting sf all shades suitable tot the season
HLA CK ALPA CCAS
AND
Blonming Goods
A SPECIALITY.
BLEACHED AND UN2LEACHEI
MUSLINS,
AT VAKlOt'8 PBICE8.
AN ENDLESS SELECTION OF PBIN7S!
We sell and do keep x good quality ot
SUGARS, COFFEES & SYRUPS1
And everytltlng under the head of
GROCERIES !
Machine Needles and oil for all makes
Ma-hiuea.
To be couviuced that our goods are
CHEAP AS THE CIIEAPES'l
IH TO CALL AND EXAMINE STOCK.
No trouble to show goods.
Don't forget the
CENTRAL STORE!
Newport, Perry County, Pa.