Till) TIMLlS, NfiW 1JL0OMF1KL1), 1A., MAlKil 0,1878,'
Professional Cards.
JK. J UN KIN, Attorney at Law,
, New liloomtluld, Perry CO., P.
r Office Next door to the residence otJudite
Juukln. (ll
AM. MARK EL, Attorney at-Law,
. New Hloomnrld, Perry county, Pa.
lT Office directly opposite th Post-OIUce,
and adjoining tut Mansion House.
tIjwis roi'TKit,
ATTOHSEY AT LAW,
NEW BLOOMFIELD, TEltUV CO., PA,
troia'lms promptly secured ' emieoted
Writings and all leal business carefully attend.
d to.
TAMES H. FEUGLSON, AttJrJ!$ j,".
-omce Market Street, near the Square. 85 6
HABLES U. SMILEY, Attorney at Law.
New llloomllelil, Perry Co. Pa.
.Om with C. A. Barnelt, Esq., on lllah
Street, north side, nearly opposite the I
riaR Church. August 21), 1872.
-ITrM. A. 8PON8LER, Attorney-at-Law,
VV Onk-e adJolnliiK his residence, on East
Main street, New Bloomlleld. Perry co.. Pa 8 i ly
J OHM U.BHATTO, Surfreon Dentist. '
New Bloomlleld. Perryco., Pa.
All Kinds of Mechanical and Suralcal Dentistry
done in the best niauner, and at reasonable
,"M)fllce at his residence one door Eastofthe
Robinson House, and opposite Win. A. Bponsler'i
l.awolllce. 8 ''J
WM. N. 8E1BERT, Attorney-at-Law,
New Bloomlleld, Perry CO., Pa.
Bloomlleld, 3331V.
WM. M. BUTCH, . .
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW,
New Bloomlleld, Perry Co., Pa.
WOmce Two doors West of F. Morilmer,
Store 37 ly
LEWIS POTTEIl, notary ruBLic, New Bloom,
held. Perry Co., Pa.
Deeds, Bonds, Mei tmiRes and Leases carefully
prepared and acknowledRements taken. All
kinds of Pension and Bounty papers drawn and
certllled, will also take depositions to bo rei.d In
any court In the United States. 7 10 ly
CHAS. J. T, MclNTIRE, Attorney-at-Law,
New Bloomlleld, Perry CO.. Pa.
atteuded to. 3 2 lv.
WM. A. MOH1MSON,
JUSTICE OK THE PEACE and GENERAL
COLLECTOR, NewGekmamtown, Perry CO., Pa.
Uemittanoeswillbe made promptly for all
Collections made. 744
CHAS. A. BARNETT, Attorney-at-Law,
New Bloomlleld. Perry CO., Pa
.Office on hlfjh st reet. North side, nearly op
posite the Presbyterian Church. 3 21y
R
ICHARD L. MAGEE,
JUSTICE OF THE PEACE,
W Offlce at his residence, in CENTRE TOWN
SH1P. Perry Couuty, Peun'a., one mile South of
New Bloomlleld. 10."
-yyfLTLIAM M. 8UTCII,
Justice oT flic l'caoe,
AND GENERAL COLLECTOR,
New Bloomfleld, Perry County, Pein'a
a-Specialattentlonpald to Collections of all
kinds. Deeds, Bonds.Mortgages and Agreement
neatly executed. 716tf
QEORGE H. MARTIN
GENERAL AGENT.
BLAIN, PEURY COUNTY, 1A.
Special attention Riven to the collection of
claims, and any other business entrusted to him
will receive prompt attention. Charges moderate.
April, 19th, 1877.
JJEATHER &p.
THE subscriber has now on hand at
LOW PltlCES,
Good Sole Leather, ,
Kip of Superior Quality,
Country Calf Skins,
French Calf,
LININGS, ROANS, &c.
F. Mortimer,
NEW BLOOM FIELD, PA.
gURPMSING !
JUST OPENED
A VARIETY STORE,
up town:
We Invite the Citizens of BLOOMFIELD and
vicinity, to call and examine our Stock of
3K0CER1F8, QUEENBWARE, GLASSWARE,
TIN WAKE. A FULL VARIETY OF
NOTIONS, eic., &c, ic,
All of which we are selling at astonishingly
XjO"W prices.
ilve us a call and ftAVR MONEY, as we
re almost GIVING TUliGS A WAV.
a. Butter and Eggs taken la trade.
VALENTINE BLANK,
38 ly West Main 8treet.
VALUABLE STORE STAND
At rrivate Sale.
THE subscriber offers at private sale about
ONE ACRE (K GROUND, having thereon
elected a LARGE HOUSE, with KITCHEN,
WASH HOUSE and STABLE, and a WELL oi
good water near the door.
- There Is a large STORE ROOM In the
building In which a store has been kept for a
number of years. The stand is a veiy desirable
one.
There Is also erected on the premises, another
BOUSE AND STABLE, which will be sold s-
araieiy or wun me nwur ciliuhi, 10 suit purcnas
ers. These proiier les are located In agondnoui
munttv, with Schools and Churches convenient.
r Cullou or addreas
a L. HOLLENBAUGH,
Aug. 21, T7pd J Sandy Hill, Pon y Go ., Pa.
A CARD. To all who are lutterlng from the
errors and Indiscretions of youth, nervous
weakness, early decay, loss of manhood, lie, I
will send a recipe that will cure you, FREE OF
CHARGE. This great remedy was discovered by
a missionary In South America. Bend a self-addressed
envelope to the Rev. Johbph T. Imhah,
motion D, Bible ioute, A'eto York City . 16b ly
Newport Advertisements.
ONES' BROS, & CO.,
J
(Formerly John Jones ft Bon,)
Grain & Produce
MERCHANTS,
Brick Warehouse, Front St., above Market,
Newport, Perry County, Pa.
WK would respectfully Invite the patronage of
the farmers, and the public generally, as
the HIGHEST 1" KICKS the market will altord,
will be paid (or all kinds of
GRAIN,
FLOUR,
PRODUCE.
SEEDS AND
RAILROAD TIES
We have constantly on hand,
FISH,
SALT,
PLASTER,
CEMENT
COAL,
, IRON,
STEEL,
IIORSB SHOES, Sc., &c.
FOR SALE AT THE LOWEST RATES.
4 Orders promptly tilled,
Newport, July 20, 1875 tf
N
EWPORT DRUG STORE.
Having on hand a com plot tHKortmetit of the fnt
lowing artlcloa, the ubaoriber ankt. a share of your
patronage.
lhntgs and Medicine 9
CHEMICALS OF ALL KINDS,
Also a full stock of
Concentrated Eomedies,
ESSENTIAL OILS,
Brushes, rcrfumery.
iiAin on,,
AND
FANCY ARTICLES.
Also always on Hand,
PURE WINES & LIQUOR
FOR
MEDICINAL and 8ACRAMENTAL
PURPOSES
PHYSICIANS ORDERS
Carefully and Promptly Filled
B . M . EBY,
Newport, Penn'a.
J B. HARTZELL,
Wholesale Tobacco Dealer,
NEWPORT, IA.
Sole Agent for Lorilard's Superior Tobaccos.
. r Country Merchauts supplied with Goods
at Philadelphia prices.
- Your orders are solicited. 9 41
Agree to sell all kinds of
LUMBER AND SHINGLES,
for LESS MONEY than any other dealers In this
county. We will also take good Timber on the
stump or delivered at oar Mill In exchange for
Lumber, &c. We use Clearfield Pine and Hem
lock only.
W. R. S. COOK ft CO.,
Newport, Perry Co.e Pa.
October 10, 1876.
American and Foreign Patents.
GILMORE & CO.. Successors to CHIPMAN.
HOSMKR & CO., Solicitors. Patents pro
cured mall countries. NO FEES IN ADVANCE.
No charge unless the patent is granted. No fees
for making preliminary examinations. No addi
tional fees (or obtaining and conducting a re
hearing. By a recent decision of the Commis
sioner, ALL rejected applications may be revived.
Special attention given to Interference Cases be
fore the Palent ofllce. Extensions before Con
gress. Infringement Suits In riitterent States, and
all litigation appertaining to Inventions or Pat
ents. Send Stamp to Gilmore & Co., for pamph
let of sixty pages.
LND CASES, LAND WARRANT8 & SCRIP.
Contested Land Cases prosecuted before the U.
8. General Land Ofllce and Deptrtment of the
Interior. Private Land Claims, MINING and
PRE EMPTION Claims, and HOMESTEAD cases
attended to. Land Scrip in 40, So. any lcio acre
pieces for sale. This Scripts assignable, and can
be located In the name of the purchaser upon any
Government land subject to private entry, at
SI 25 per acre. It Is of equal value with Bounty
Land Warrants. Send Stamp to Gilmore & Co.,
for pamphlet of instruction.
ARREARS OK PAY AND BOUNTY.
OFFICERS, SOLDIERS and SAILORS of the
late war. or their heirs, are In many casesentltled
to money from the Government of which they
bave no knowledge. Write full history of service,
and state amount of pay and bounty received.
Enclose stamp to GILMORE & CO., and a full re
ply, after examination, will be given you free.
4 Ki IV I D iS t&
All OFFICERS. SOLDIERS, and 8AILORS,
wounded, ruptured, or Injured In the late war,
however slight, can obtain a pensonby addressing
GILMORE & CO.
Cases pro-edited by GILMORE A CO, before
the supreme Court of the United States, the Court
of Claims and the Southern Cairns Commission.
Each department of our business la conducted
in aseparate bureau, under charge of the same
exiei ieneed parties, embloyed by the old firm.
Prompt attention to ail business entrusted to
GILMORE & CO.. Is thus secured. We desire to
win success by deserving It.
Address: GILMORE SCO.,
&! F. Street,
Washington, D. C.
IMPORTANT NOTICK. The subscriber
late of the firm of Rhoadea Smith, would
respectfully inform the cltliens of RLAIN
and vlciiiltv, that he has opened a WAGON
MAKERSIlOP, and Is prepared to make new
wagons and repair old ones at short notice, and
at from TEN to TWENTY percent, cheaper than
i lie ma m m
Glv me a call. Satisfaction guaranteed.
JACOB SMITH.
Blaln, August 8, 1867,
THE WEED
PRICES. REDUCED.
"The Family Favorite"
IMrilOVKl)
Light-Running, Noiseless,
No Goars,No Ciuns,No Springs.
New and Elegant Styles of Wood
work. From this date, by the expiration
of Patents under which we
have been paying roy
altics,we arc enabled
to sell our ma
chinc8 at
GREATLY REDUCED PRICES,
and as low as those of any first
class machine.
iSiS Send for Circulars and
Trice Lists,
Weed Sewing Machine Co.,
26 Union Square,
NEW YORK.
11 7 18t.
BOOTS
Do you want ROOTS of any kind t
If so, call and see the
LA1IGM STOCK
NOW OFFEtlED BY
F . M O K T I M K It .
Dr.A.G.OLIN'S
Print Hmpital,
too t, L'tilcafrn,,
of ft Private natui, nnulllny from mtIj abnsea
ins, hit nw cure oi
or inn-i iiwn ) snmrr ncnmM tmu nrM product nm
Km! Ml aii , Lom fMraory, Impalrt-tl Msht, Lout
fftnkooa or lmpotency. nervous ItVbtlftr, rrmv
mntly cured : dbwof the I! ladder, kidneys. Li ver,
Llinc. Atthiiift, CfttBTTh. Piles, ftll Chronic DUftM, ftnd Ulft
KAHKH OF FKMAI.Rtt, yUld to bit toatmtnl. Dr.Ulla
hn hwl lift-long eiiwriance, md rumwlimoihm fail. II
bftfradukUof tht Hjifonntd R, hnoL wet no aiftn-urv. hm bm
Wrrwt prrtlciB tht U. 8. LADIKH reaiiirlr tmtmenl with
private horn and boftnt, cll or write, fc erv convmB for
pfttieou. Rend fifty cenU for umpl of Rubber (Joodi nil rlf
culftr of ImporUnt Infornifttloii by tinrm. 01L VL1IH41
rniP1lli, AperBoi. Consul Ullnn fret.
MARRIAGE GUIDE SS.
ytrorif nd mldrlla weti of both Sesw, on all duetvw of ft prfvftW
nfttnra. Vftluftble advli to the mnrrVd nd thnt cofilemriktlng
i. Hf-W n be heallhv mnA tmlv hmrav In the ninU nlf
tio. Everybody tUould gi Uik book, fii W cuu, to ftuy aU
Maied. A PHYSIOLOGICAL
View of Marriage !
luif nil ihh iwaijfiwu A. Ould to Wed"k and
! V.
'Utiflili'litiftl 1 rratiaa nit thai
iutiet of mirrlftfre and tht
cftiitct th lit until lor It ; tht tec-ret
of Reproduction and
.the Diteattea of Women.
I A Nnk tor prlvott connd
e ate rttding. 2QU pagtt, prltit
ctt.
lOICAL ADVI6ER!
On lldl.orti.r.ol a Private NAture an.mit Irum Self
awe,H,urDm AJiaeABC., W1IU III. MM
luf.n. of cur., JW4 l.tfi" n.ffe.. pt jef ,i
A CLINICAL LECTURE on th..how diinm and
fnoM o! iJi. Threat and I.unga, Catarrh, Rupture. Uia
Opium Habit. I,,'., prtr. It) t-i..
l.iih.r b,Kk .nt io.Tp.idan rwictpt of price t or all three,
ciini.inintt .fXl .y, l'-.ittilUl.y il.uitr.tf-d, lor;.', cli.
AoUna. Da. kuTTS, o. 111 N. Su Bi,St. teuis. Mo-
I flVFRQB()OK OF KNOWLEDGE, or Bo
1w,,crt of Love. Onurtnlilp and
Marrlsgo Hhowlng how to get married, live hap
pily obtain health, wealth and distinction, ami
appear In advantage in society 2(10 panes 300.1100
sold. Mailed tor Hk'ls.. In Poitaee Stamps or ftir
rencv. Address. THK UNION tlJtiLIHHINU
COMPANY. Kewark. N. J. 4wKi
E.
WARUINO'8
(1S78 Uniform CopyrlKhted 1877)
LAW BIjAJNJTCS,
The Latest and Ueit. A Ureat Improvement a
want supplied. We furnish low and whatever
you need.
Law and Commercial Supplies of all Kinds.
- Send for samples and price lists of what
you want.
r Catalgne of Blanks furnished at THIS
OFFICE, ordirect from the pnblhtier.
U. WAK1NU, Tyrone, Pa.
1AD1K8 addicted to the hshlt of Intern
. peranee are Invited to seek Information at a
private home, where medical attendance and all
comforts are provided. For Information address
Uwt W.H. NICHOLSON. Box 2,712. l'hiladelula.
November. 13. 1877.
. .rfrmLwtreir. nMM..
mi. ".TAk rHiLu t.l.
Mae." uw"rmLT rAroiuTa" e
. a YHS MILLION. Brt.
iWi n.' . i... A Ul
ia, rm, ia-a rm . eMa.
'l.rta " EfrOlll'l CoatNKB. ' n BwU-O-.
IsHk, lku Mel r-Mel 4 Mlf. IVnlr. aai
rQwe, !, Mat r-Mel te
U esewllr auai- Ka M
WMl rr mpm Iks MaMteMl hM.
IOW. C.h nmmt isv, w iuTFi
wa av, W atut rrile r ma,
'nki. rw. i fu wM ij-t tiao
eM ve-ejeaeesa mmm tnmmamrj. aeaiev sell a-easee, ae SM- n
w. tMnm "aTAa aglaoLeW ataaaa," !!) i. a. It
S3
OLD PLATIDeTATCHR. Cheapest
i.mt uiwi wia-io. 0eMen UK. r , M ee
Jfmtl. AAdnaa, A, CutLiita el Ux. CtUuuiQ,
New lode Machine.
' 4 fes
9 r tmi
fit:
f bu
" JIoleN.
HE MANSION HOUSE,
New Illooinlleld, Pcnn'n.,
V. M. RtNEHMITIl, . . Proprietor.
This well-known hotel hns lately lieenentarBed,
re painted and re llltetl. Itest aeeummoilntrniis
alTorded. -Careful hostlers always In attend
ance. ( j
AUCTIONEERS.
J AS. P. LATCH FORD,
"A UCTtdNEEli ,
Would respectfully Inform the pulille that he
will cry sale at rein'innliin prices. All orders
will receive prunm! attention.
I'ONN ALI.V'8 MILLS PEURY CO., PA.
TAMES CLEELAND
U Auctioneer,
Offers his services to the citizens of Perry and
Cumberland counties. Post olllce aildress,
Hherniaitsdiile, Pen yet,., Pa.
w.D-
HENRY,
A UCTlONEEll.
Blaln, Perry comity Pa.
nr-Terms Moderate and every exertion made
to render satisfaction. tjtl
Auctioneer. Tlie undersigned gives
notice that he will cry sales at any point In T'erry
or Dauphin count ies. Orders are solicited and
proniptattentlon wlllhe clveu.
K.D.WELLS,
New Hutfalo
Perrvco.,Pa.
q bTharnish,
llelvllle, Perry Co., Pa. Charges moderate, and
satlslatitlnu Kuarauteeil. 6 tf
H
0ME MANUFACTURE.
LOOK OUT!
I would respectively Inform myfrlendsthatlln
teutualltiig upou them with a supply of good
of my
OWN MANUFACTURE.
Consisting of
CABS1MERS.
CA8SINKT8,
FLANNELS, (Plalnandbar'd)
OAltlHTS, &C.
toexchangefor woo or sellfor cash.
J.M.BIXLEH.
Centre Wooi.es Factort. 8,17,4m
a For Rale by K. MoiiTiMgR, New Bloomlleld
Perry county. Pa.
S2S0Or;
THAR. Aeentu wanted. Bnsl-
ii esalor-ltlniutn. Particulars free.
AddrenJ OBTH OO ,St Lll. Mfc
045
PRCMIITII WT('II iwn llllr-e
nteiii-wlnder.Frei- with every order. Out
At tree. J. U. Us lord A Co., Chicago, ia
ILLUSTRATED MONTHLY MAGAZINE.
Each Number contains Thirty-two Pages of
reading, many line Wood Cut Illustrations, and
one Colored Plate. A beautiful tiarden Maga
zine, pi luted on elegant paper, and full of lulor
matlon. In Kngllsh and German. Price, 11.25 a
year. Five copies r.nu.
Vlck's Flower and Vegetable Garden, fa cents
In paper covers i in eleguut clot li covers 11.00.
Vlck's Catalogue, Illustrations, enly 3 cts.
Address, JAME8 V1CK, Kochester, N, Y.
VIOK'8
ILLUSTRATED TRICED CATAL0UUE.
Heventy live pages WO Illustrations, with Tie
scriptlous of thousands of the best Flowers and
Vegetables In the world, and the way to grow
them all for a two cent postage stamp. Printed
In English and German.
Vick's Flower and Vegetable (iarden, 50 cents
Inpaper covers; in elrgunt cloth covers, 11.00.
Vlck's Illustrated Monthly Magazine 32 pages,
line Illustrations, and colored plate in ever num
ber. Price, II. a year. Five copies for 15.
Address, JAMEd VICK. Kochester, N. Y.
VICK'S
FLOWER AND VEGETABLE HARDEN
Is the most beautiful work of the kind In the
world. It contains about lflO pages, hundreds of
tine Illustrations, and six Chromo Plates of
Flowers, beautifully drawu and colored from na
ture. Prioa 60 cents iu paper covers: $100 In ele
gant cloth. Printed In Certi an and English.
Vlck's Illustrated Monthly Magazine 32 pages,
fine Illvstratlons.and Colored Pl.tte In every num
ber. Price of II. 'a. Five copies for $5.
Vlek's Catalogue 300 Illustrations, only 2 cts.
Address, JAMES VICK, Kochester, N. Y.
VICK'S
FLOWER AND VEUETAULE SEEDS
are planted by a million people In America. Bee
Vick's Catalogue SKI llluttratinns, only 2 cts.
Vlck's Illustrated Monthly Magazine 32 pages
fine Illustrations, and Colored Plate In each num
ber. Price II 2.i a year. Fire copies for 5.
Vlck's Flower and Vegetable Garden, (0 rents.
In paper covers: with elegant cloth covers 11.
All my publications are printed in English and
German.
Address, JAMF8 VICK, Rochester, N. Y.
GOLD. MINKS & LANDS. COAL.
GOLO. . MINES AND LANDS COAL
SILVEK HOLD. OIL
LEAD COMPANIKS OUtSANIZEU, fiTONK
1HON MINIMI AGENCY, COPTFR
MAKBLE 208 8 SEVEN 1 11 HIWEKT, I.IMK
COAL Philadelphia, MICA
MAUI, A. H. WVMAN & CO. GYPwUM
iiutv
WHEN
WllEltE
TO BUY A TARM.
Send for our Catalogue.
A II. WYMAN A CO., , i
No. 26 SOl'TIl SEVENTH bTUEET, 8wlt
PHILADELPHIA.
Unim Agents wanted to subscribe for the
wUvU Agents' Journal, a handsomely bound,
2 1 pane Journal, brim full of Interest to Agents.
Specimen oopyseutlier. AGENTS' JOU1UN Ala
New York. 8wtt
, , " :. ;.n f r
PRINTING of every description neatly ex
ecuted at the Bloomfleld Times Ofllce at
reasonable rates. ,
'"S I'f rrrrtlti (IrrrrtlrnrilnseVijvA
ifL9ff 'l I ll VS CHI I II I II 1,11, I II TO.
ffNl'Hflsril.irKell.'llI.niurefi.ii nrap.rJ3l
BaeMI lien. I iilu, Brniirhilli It all Srroluloui r A
JX aUfM. li tnnrdruCTiilfiirOmii,iyP'"jl
Hlir kni nnl rt it. I will, en rfrtiptyTTr
ji$itiido mi im.c. l y
Incredible Liars.
The French ttnpers In the Autumn of
121 mentloiifd that a man named
Deejardlns was tried, on hia own con
fi'BHlon, a an aocomplloe with Iouvel,,
the awuBHln of the Duke de Berrle. But,
on his defense, Desjardlns contended
that his confession ottglit not to be be
lieved, because be was so notorious for
falsehood, that itobody In the world
would give credit to a word he said. In
support of this, he produced a host of
witnesses, his friends and relatives, who
all swore that the excessive bad character
he had given of himself was true, and
he was declared " not guilty."
Tlils case parallels a similar instance
some years before in Ireland. A man
was charged with highway robliery. In
the course of the trial the prisoner roared
out from the dock, that he was guilty;
but the jury pronounced him "not
guilty." The astonished Judge exclaim
ed " Good heavens, gentleman, did
you not hear the man lilmself declare
that he was guilty V The foreman
said" We did, my lord, and that was
the reason we acquitted him, for we
know the fellow to be such a notorious
liar, that he never spoke a word of truth
in his life, therefore we could not believe
him on oath."
tf3T A stranger, wearing a white hat
with a very wide crape nailed to It, was
yesterday looking through the City Hall,
and after he hud inquired of a policeman
the route to Elmwood Cemetery, the
ofllcer In turn remarked :
" You have been bereaved, I suppose V"
"Not as I knows on," replied the
man.
" I thought you had lost your wife,
and were a widower."
"Ah I this hat deceived you," ex
plained the man. "'Well, I had the
band put on because I don't know
whether I 'm a widower or not. The old
lady and I have had six Jaws and three
tussles in three days, don't eat at the
same table, each have a key to the front
door, both cook what we eat, go ftnd
come when we want to, and I suppose
I'm as much a widower as anything
else."
A gentleman wishing to purchase
a fine lndigo-dyed coat, called upon a
Hebrew " In whom there Is no guile."
The purchaser was very particular to
Impress upon the mind of the seller
that he wanted an indigo, not a logwood-dyed
cloth, the smell of the latter
being oilensive to him. The coat was
selected and tried on, when our Hebrew
friend commenced his encomiums.
" Now you must look at dat. It was
feet you like paper on the vail. Dat Is
yust vat you vantl" "Yes," said the
customer, " but this is not I want. This
is a logwood-dyed coat. I don't like the
smell." "Myfren," says 6ur dealer,
" dat Is yust vat you want. It ieh not
that coat dat ehmells dat way, no, sir,
datish me!"
Seeing the Elephant.
A rowdy Intending to be very witty
thus accosted a lady in the street;
" Madam, can you inform me where I
carj seethe elephant?"
" No, but if I had a looking glass, I
would show you a very large monkey."
The rowdy sloped.
t3r"Do you know," remarked a
rather fast Newark youth the other day
to a stuttering friend to whom he was
slightly indebted, " Do you know that
I intend to marry and settle downV"
"I do-don't know anything about It,"
was the reply, " bu-but I think you had
better stay single and settle up."
O" An enraged gentleman addressing
from his chamber window a youth who
had been serenading his daughter half
an hour, said, " You are a great bore,
and I think you mean to keep on boring
until you get water," adding, " there it
Is," emptying a pltcherfull upon his
head.
A gentleman was accosted by a
poor loafer, who asked for charity. " I
will remember you the next time," re
plied the gentleman. "Please' your
honor," said the loafer, I don't credit I
deal on the cash principle."
A Chicago chap advertises for
" steady girls to help on pantaloons."
A fellow who can't help on his panta
loons, ought to be ashamed to want a
girl to do it.
Conclusive.
, " Mankind," said a preacher, includes
woman ; for man embraces woman."
K3-A quack says that he has invented
a remedy for "the 2-thake, which will
allevi-8 all puin 4th-with."