The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, February 12, 1878, Page 7, Image 7

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    7
rrofessionul Curds.
J I?. JUSRIN. Attornpy.ftt-I.nw,
New llloonilleld, Perry en., Pa.
oniee Noxt door to tlie residence ofjiidge
J n it k 1 it. 4;Cl
AM. MAKKKL, Attorncy-at-Law,
NfW lilooinlleld, Ferry county, Pa.
f" Olltoe directly opposite tlie Poat-Olllee,
snd adjoining tlie Mansion House.
j- kwij roriKu,
ATTOHNKY AT LAW,
NKW M.OOMFIKLII, PKltltV CO., PA.
Claim promptly secured collected
Writings and ftU legal business carefully amend
ed to. .14 yl
JAM KM II. FKltdtHON,. Attorney nt Ln,
NF.WI'OHT, PA.
yoillce Market St re-ot, near the tniuare. So
CHAltLF.H II. HMII.F.V, Attorney t I.sw.
New lllnumlleld, ferry Co, Pa.
.Office with U. A. Harnett, K., nil High
Rtreut, north side, nearly opposite the Prnsbyte.
dan church. August til, W2.
WTtX. A.HI'ONBI.KK, Attorney-Rt Iw,
V UHIee adjoining his residence, on Hast
Malnstrcot, New lilooinlleld, Terry oo., Pa. til ly
JOHN 0. 8UATTO, Surgeon Dentist.
New lllooiiitlelil, I'erryoo., I'a.
All kinds of Mechanical anil iturglcal Dentistry
done In the bent manner, and at reasonable
prices.
.Olllceflt his residence one door Rnstofth
4ohiuson House, and opposite Win. A. Hponslcr'i
Law olllcfl. 3 i ly
IT"M. N. HK1HF.KT, Attorney atl.aw,
TV Now lilooinlleld, I'erryoo., Ta,
llloomtlold, 3 331v.
M. M. HUTCH,
ATl'OKNKV-AT-I.AVr,
New lilooinlleld, I'erryoo.. Pa.
WOltlee Two doors West oC F. Mortimer,
Btore3 7 ly
LEWIS I'OTTKIt, notaht riBl.lc, New llloom.
Meld, Perry Co., Pa.
Deeds, Bonds,' Mortgage and Lenses carefully
prepared and acknowlcdKcments taken. All
kinds of Pension and Bounty papers drawn and
certified, will also take depositions to lie rei.d In
any court In the United States. 7 10 ly
CHAB. J.T.McINTIKK, Attorney-at-Law,
New lilooinlleld, Perry no., Pa.
All professional business proinptlyaudfalth'
fully attonded to. 3 2 1 v.
rM. A. MO It It I SOX,
JUST1CKOK TI1K PKACE and (3 RNKKA L
XLLF.CTOIt, NkwOkkmantown, I'eriyco , Pa.
tr iiiiiniiianceswiii be made prouipily lor all
'Collections made. 744
CHAS. A. BAKNETT, Attorney-at-Law,
New lUnonillcld. Perry co.. Pa
.Office on high street. North side, nearly op
polite the Presbjtcriau Cliurch. 3 2 ly
DICHARD L. MAGEE,
vui ivij v'A' a a i m unii jt
Olllce at his residence. In CUNTK K TOWN
SHIP, Perry Couuly, Penu'a., one mile South of
'New Bloonilleld. 10
I L LI AM M. SUTC1I.
JiHtllce ol I he leuce.
AND GENERAL COLLKCTOlt,
New Bloomfleld, Ferry County, Penn'a
-Special attention paid to Collections of all
kinds. Deeds. Honds.Mortgnges and Agreements
neatly executed. 7 ltitf
G
EORGE H. MARTIN
GENEKAL AGENT.
ULAIN, I'KHUY COUNTY, l'A.
Special attention Riven to the collection of
claims, and any other buslnesii entrusted to hi in
will receive prompt atteutlou. Charges moderate.
April, Utta, 1877.
EATHER C.
THE subscriber has now on hand at
LOW 1MIICES,
Good Sole Leather, .
Kip of Superior Quality, '
Country Calf Skins,
French Calf,
LININGS, ROANS, &c.
F. Mortimer,
NEW BLOOM FIELD. PA.
ACAltD. To all who are guttering from the
errors and Indiscretions oT youth, nervous
weakness, early decay, loss of manhood. So., I
will send a rec'pe that will onre you. FKEE OF
CHARGE. This great remedy was discovered by
a missionary in South America. Send a self-ad-,
dressed envelope to the Kev. Joseph T. Invan,
Station D, Biblt louse, New York City. 18b ly
CHRONIC! Cvrotl. New paths
vmiumu marked oip bv that plainest of
all books " Plain Home Talk and Medlual Com
mon Sense," nearly KMi pages, no llliistra'l -us.
Dm. K, B. F'OOTK, of 1211 Islington Ave.. N. Y.
Purchasers of this book are at liberty to nonsuit
its author in Person or hy mull free. Price bv
mall 1 25 for the Standard edition, or ll.fiO ior Hie
Popular edition, whluh contains all the aine
matter and Illustrations. Contents tables free.
Agents wanted. MUKUAY HILL PUBLISH1.NO
CO., 129 East 28th St.. N. Y. 4 Lit,
W A ' 1 1 IV TV" c,lrB cs of Catarrh
XVJLI S.HilJwx each uelghhiirhiod.
with Dr. Harnser's Keinedv, to liit'o.lum If.
Sainpl free. J. C. Tlltun. Pitt burtfli. Pa. 47w3m
5000 Agents Wanted
To subscribe for the Airents' Journal. A hand
somely bound 2 page Jomnal. brim full f Inter.
2st Aents, F.very Agent should see it.
bend Postal Card for specimen copy. Addiess.
AGENTS' JOURNAL. New Voik. 3ft m
ASSIGNEE'S MmCE.
Notice Is hereby given that Jacob RlMlne, and
Susanna his wife, of Whea Held I w p.. Prn oo.,
Pa., have assigned their property to the nuner.
signed, residing In I ho game tuwuhip, for the
benetit of creditors.
All persons therefore Indebted, to 'aid Jacob
Klstine and wlfe.are requested to make pavmeiit,
and those having claims will present tln-m duly
uiithenticaled to the uudersigutd for settlement
without delay.
SOLOMON BIO II AM.
November It. 1877. Assiguee.
Lbww 1'utteu, Attorney.
DOLL A K-AX U-A-II A LF FOR TEN CEXTS.
Stoddart's Musloal t.lbrary. Just publishing 1 1
pages. full size, best and most popu'ur music for
loceuts. New and popular sonus. dniiresnd In
truinental Music, oiieras. Iiymns. e'o . eie For
sale by all newsdealers. PoMape S oeiiis. to be
sent In addition to above, it ordered from the
publishers.
.1. M. STOOD ART CO.,
48 3t 7o3 Chestnut St., Philadelphia.
PRINTING of every description neatly ex
ecuted at the Bloomdeld Times OlUoe
reasonable ratec.
Newport Advertisements.
JONES' BROS, & Cd.,
(Formerly John Jones A Bon,)
Grain & Produce
MERCHANTS,
Brick Warehouse, Front Ht., above Market,
Newport, Perry County, Pa.
WE would respectfully Invite the patronage of
the farmirs, and tint publio generally, as
the IIIUHKUT I'll I C KM the iimrket will alford,
will be paid for all kinds of
GRAIN,
FLOUIL
PRODUCE.
HKKDrt AND
KAILttOAI) TIKH
We have conslfliillr nn hand,
K18H,
HALT,
PLAHTI.lt,
CKMFNT
COAL,
IRON,
STEEL,
HORHU RH0EH,&c.,Ac.
FOR SALE AT THE LOWEST RAT EH.
Orders promptly Oiled,
Newport, July 20, 1875 tr
JJEWPORT DRUGSTORE.
Hsvlux on hand a cmuplet saaortiaent of the fol
lowing articles, Uis ubscrlbcr ! a shstenf your
patrnuure.
IMtgn and Medicine,
CHEMICALS OF ALL KINDS.
Also a full stork of
Concentrated Bomedie3,
ESSENTIAL OILS.
Briislies, rerfuiuery
ltAIU OIL,
AND
FAXUY ARTICLES.
Also always ou Ilnud,
PURE WINES & LIQUOlt
FOR
MEDICINAL and SACRAMENTAL
PURPOSES
PHYSICIANS ORDERS
Carrulfy ami Promptly Filled
B . M . EOY,
Newport, Ponn'a.
J B. HARTZELL,
Wholesale Tobacco Dealer,
IVKWfOKT, IA.
Hole Agent for Lorilard's Huperlor Tobaccos.
-Countiy Morohauta supplied with Goods
at Philadelphia prloes.
Your orders are solicited. 8 44
it. s. cook & co.,
Agree to aell all kinds of
LUMBER AND SHINGLES,
for I.E88 MONEY than ny other dealers In this
county. We will also take good Timber on the
stump or delivered at oar Mill In exchange (or
Lumber, &o. We use Cleardold Pine and Hem
lock only,
W. K. a COOK St CO.,
Newport, Perry Co., Po.
October 10, 1976.
American and Foreign Patents.
GILMORR A CO.. Successors to 0HIPMAN,
HO.S SI lilt & CO., Solicitors. Patents pro?
cured mall countries. NO FEES IN AOVANt'F.
No charge unless the patent In granted. No fees
for making preliminary examinations. No addi
tional fees for obtaining and conducting a re
heal lug. By a recent decision of the Commis
sioner, ALL rejected applications may be revived.
Special attention given to Interference Cases be
fore the Patent Olttce, Kxienslons before Con
gress. Infringement Suits In different Siats. and
all litigation appertaining to Inventions or Pat
ents. Send Stamp to Oilmore & Co., for pamph
let of sixty pages.
UNI) CASK-t. LAND WARRANT9 ft SCRIP.
Contested Land Cases prosecuted before the U.
H. General Land OlUoe and Deptrtment of the
Iuterlnr. Private Land Claims, Ml NINO and
PKtC KMPTION Claims, and HOMKSTKAI) cases
attended to. Land Scrip In 4n, Ho. any UK) acre
nieces for sale. This Sorlpls assinnable, and can
be located In the name of the purchaser upon any
Government land uh-c( tu private entry, at
tl 2S per acre. It Is of equal value with Bounty
Land Warrants. Send Stamp to Qlliuore & Co.,
for pamphlet of Instruction.
A Ft K K KS OF PAY AND BOUNTY.
OFFICKKS, SOLIHRKH and SAILORS of the
late war. orihelr heirs, are In many cases entitled
to money from the Government of which they
have no knowledge. Write full history of service,
and stats amount of pav and bounty received.
Kiiclnsestninp to GILMORK & CO., and a lull le
ply, after examination, will be given you free.
PKNsltl.NB,
All OFFICF.KR. SOLDI KRS, and SAILORS,
wounded, nurtured, or Injured In the late war,
however slight, can obtain a penson by addressing
UILMORttSCO.
Cases prosecuted by GILMORF. & CO., before
the Supreme Court of the United States, the Court
of Claims and tlie Southern Claims Commission.
Each department of our business is conducted
In asepara'e bureau, under charge of the same
exuerleuced parties, embloyed by the old II nil.
Prompt attention to all business entrusted to.
GILMOItK & CO.. Is thus secured. We desire tu
win success by deservinitlt.
Address: OILMollE SCO.,
tB F. Street,
. , , . . , Washington, D. C.
TM POUT A XT NOTICE The subscriber
late of the nrin of Khoades ft Smith, would
respectfully inform the . citizens of RLAIN
and vlclnllv. that he has opened a WAGON
MAKKKSIIOP. and Is prepared to make new
waiious and repair old ones at short notice, and
at from TKN u TWKNTY percent, cheaper than
ih n'd arm
-Glv me a call. Satisfaction guaranteed.
, , . - JACOB SMITH,
Blaln, August 8, 1807. ,
THE WEED
i-.
"The Family Favorite"
IMPROVED
Hew Model Machine.
Mi;ht-Uiiiiiiiiigt Noiseless,
No Oenrs,o Cnms,No Springs.
New and Klegnnt Styles of Wood
Work. From this date, by the expiration
of Patents under which we
have been paying roy
nltics,we arc enabled
to sell our mn
chines at
GREATLY REDUCED PRICES,
and as low as those of any first
class machine.
iJjjj Send for Circulars and
Price Lists.
Weed Sewing Machine Co.,
26 Union Square,
NEW YORK.
11 7 lBt.
BOOTS
Do yon want BOOTS of any kind f
If so, call and see the
TVllOK STOCIC
NOW OFFERED BT
r . m o n t i m e it .
Dr.A.G.OLIN'3
TXtau llotilul.
Vl'i Mix-
ton Ft,. Cl,l, w,,
Jllfortb curanf
ftl) llaai of Private Dftturc, rMultlnv from my nbuM'S
or lnntlailorilhrSt. HMnilnl Wk hm producing
AlHiihooil or ImpotArncf. Nrrvuu Jreblllty, pannsv
tiiti-tiy cur.ji dUwMuf ti It ladder, kidnrim Mrr.
Lai hiul iiftt-louir fiftvtMvf, snd citrMwhmottam fail. II
U rrftdutU of iiit hafwifUHl rVhm.l. wu do tuwuiirv, bki tba
IvMtprutlMii tU U.S. LADlEMnraulrins traMtiwni wltb
prlville homnd boardf rail ur vwltt, knr cnTnMav for
fntttwu. 8nd ef(.ycnU fat Mtnplt of RubUw odj and dr
culw if Important Information by tii-w. 1H OLLN'kl
tnal II M, $S put Bot. foniilUlIon frua.
MARRIAGE GUIDE ttSBiSstt
Kiff aid uildtiU a2d uf boiti Kim, on all dUM vf a pHval
Balart. ValuatiW adtli-a to th Rivrlad and tliota roiiUmplatJbfcT
mamaw. Hnw tn bt hrallhy nud truly hnupy la tfw marrawl nm
ton btaorbgal about. , ab bwuk. 1'riuw M tjaulaj Uu4-
A PHYSIOLOGICAL
View of Marriago I
uulid. utial Irratiaa on lha
Julirta of marrlaxa and tba
(MijM'aiSat until tnr It tli
cit'in of Rprduotlnn antl
Lima
ue viaeaaes or Womoa.
A book" tttr urlratr. roniiri.
on.i,!L"f",'S'
Abum, zneB.n, ur 6oret Ilisoiuei, Willi tiiu but
Urailf of rure, 4 .irfH'nn!'. nrl,-,. w , t.
A CLINICAL LKCTITRB on Iht .Iwvf dlanai-i ind
Opmm Hblt,l...prii e 10 i ". ".
fciihrr btxtk m-m w.tpid on riTtipt prteti or all ibrce.
t..ntinli,KMmiiBgi ., fe-autiruliy iliu.traud, lor 7it-u.
Auaiu. lia. kcri'Ta, -o. u n. ma at. xoms, mo-
I nVFRJB00K KNOWLEDGE, or Ke-.usi-iiOcreU
of Love. Couiuhip and
MarrlSRe Showing how to get married, live hap
pily obtain health, wealth and dlHtlnctlon. and
appearto advantage In society 2ti0 paves 3U0.OH0
sold. Mailed lor 10cti.. In PintaKe Htanins or cur.
rency. Address, THE UNION rUBLISHINU
COMPANY. Newark. N.J. wlX
EWAKltINU'8
(187ii Uniform Copyrighted 1877)
LA.AV BLANKS,,
The Latest and Best. A Great Improvement a
want supplied. We furnish low and whatever
you need.
Law ami Commercial Supplies of all Kinds.
r Send for samples and price lists ot what
you want.
r t'Htalgues of Blanks furnished at TniS
Ol' t'ICK, ordireet from the publisher.
K. WAItlNO, Tyrone, Pa.
A 1)1 KS addicted to the habit of Intem.
I i peranre are Invited to seek Information at a
private home, where medical attendance and all
nomliirttt nr., nrnvLlnrl lr. itf...,nt
Mil W.H. NICHOLSON, Box 2,712. I'hlladelpla.
TTimtWAVMI" TtaaM.wM.
-I, mi t sTTai BFMJJ!.ri aK.
ia.'MwrAkiLi FAVoktira"
aa4 yB(. rlA b4 nr. aaltl s4 .
' kt mabi ALL.' (l 1 a u-,U.a.
1 wMW lkia4U Tslt.
JJ'kL. WrlTTlaaJ. tCZ
mam, Pw!av rsssrii, u., mm,
"ttoaL'I'B CutKtL" ..nl.
Ihttk, Iwtal md rraaa si Ml,. W
utkall hmS. If m kU4!i: (,
ia4 Ik BAfrMHa,' IM.K mW (U
. ... u .. -.a..- tst iTonra
Oil MM tar. l S.VW rvHtHBsa rf HI
DiuUn. .Uk, KX vaaM. Tlt.A
IlTsUttsLU lUHMU," liatria, 0. tL
IADIE8 AND CHILDREN will find A
i splendid assortment of shoes t the ootj
price More of F. Mortimer.
PRICES REDUCED
m Ombim ' j . m a Im
man sMtlML U Mil. ,
ff KOW, 44na "stTAA
ilolelH.
'pHE PERRY HOUSE,
New llloomfleld, Terry Co., Pa.,
TII09. BUTCH, Proprietor.
JHE MANSION HOUSE,
New llloon(io!1, reim'a.,
D. M. ItlNKHMITU, - TrnprHtor.
This wpll-known hotel linslnlnly btnnntArffvd.
r (minted flnl rn nttful. 1 1 fit AnoniMiiMKltitiiiiis
ftifnrditd - Careful hostlers alwajuln mipnd
anve, v,m t
gT. ELMO HOTEL-7
( l'Oll.MKHLY "THK UNION,")
J0H. M. FEOIEn, I'roprk'tor.
817 & 810 ARCH BTHEKT,
PHILADELPHIA.
Terms,
a.60PerDay.
HIS HOTEL helnitCflitrBllv located and hav.
. lux been entirely kkfittki. It will be round
as pleasant a stopping place as can be desired
A UCTIONEEIIS.
J AS. P. LATCH FORD,
AUCTIONEER ,
Would respectfully Inform the public that he
will cry sales at reasonable prices. All orders
will receive prom"! attention.
DONNALLY'H MILLS I'KltRY CO., PA.
TAMES CLEELAND
U Auctioneer,
Offers his services to the citizens of Perry and
Cumberland counties, post office address,
Kherniausdale, l'erry Co., Pa.
w.
D. HENRY,
A UCTIONEEE.
Blaln, Perry county Pa.
WTerms Moderate and every exertion made
to render satisfaction. cn
Auctioneer. The undersigned gives
notice that he will cry sales at any point In l'erry
or Dauphin enmities. Orders are solicited and
promplattentlun willbe elven.
i. 1). WELLS,
New Buffalo
Perrv co., Pa.
q bTharnish,
aucti OTN 10 10 1 1 ,
Delvllle, Perry Co., Pa.
satlsfaclluii Kuaruuled.
Charges moderate, and
511
H
OME MANUFACTURE.
.LOOK OUT!
I would respective!; Inform myfrlendsthat Iln
tendoalllug upon them v,ltlia supplyof good
of my
OWN MANUFACTDRE.
Couslstlugnf
OA88IMER8.
OAS8INETS,
FLANNELS, (Ptalnand bar'd )
OAHPKTH, Stc,
toeichange for woo orsellfor cash.
3. M. BIXLEH.
CNTai Wooi.bn Vki toht. 6,17,4m
ffilli tl:. rnrtirtiMn
iHin.iiincH.
olU11.Hir(
, Hrmirliilli tail Hrrolalom
lumn. JUk viirdruut'iiUor Osi
t r'ltll. I will. srn
tipty
;i,ll.Uttlf.C..O.SBtI
i3.;tiiAvs.i
r For Hale by F. MouTiMKK.New Bloomllold
Perry county. Pa.
S2600
rr.n, -entiwntcd.BniU
n''slertllmte. PsrticuUrafree.
IMini J V OH Til a 00..8I Uioia. Mfc
A Jir PREwICH WsTCII AXIrHAIir-
3a"Oi "l w"'1er.K re-wllhevory order. Out.
'SI ft. J. U. Gjlord Co., Chicago, 111.
VIOK'8
ILLUSTRATED MONTHLY MAGAZINE.
Each Number contains Thirty-two Pages of
reading, many flue- Woml Cut Iiln-tratlous, and
one Colored Plate. A beautiful (iarden Maga
zine, printed on elegant p.tper. and full of luror
inatlou. In KngliKh and Ocrman. Price, 11.24 a
year. Five copies I .no.
Vlck's rlower and Vegetable Garden, F0 cents
In paper covers! In elegant cluth covers 11.00.
Vlck's Catalogue.". H'tistrations, only 3 cts.
Address, JAMta VICK, Kochester, N. V.
VICE'S
ILLUSTRATED PRICED CATALOGUE.
Keventy five pages 30U Illustrations, with De
scriptions of tbuuiauds of the best Flowers and
Vegetables In the world, and the way to crow
them all lor a two cent postage stamp. Printed
In Eugllsh and Ueruisn.
Vn k's Flower ami Vegetable Garden, 50 cents
in paper covers i in eh gaiit cloth covers, f I. CO.
Vick's Illustrated Monthly Magaalne 32 pages,
line Illustrations, and colored plute in ever num
ber. Prion, ll.ili a yer. Five copies for $5.
Addiess, JAMbd VICK, kochester, N. V.
VICICS
FLOWER AND VEGETABLE GARDEN
Is the most beautiful work ot the kind In the
world. It eonian.s abfiut ISO pages, hundreds of
flue Illustrations, and six Cliiomo Pates of
Flowers, beautifully drawn and colored from na
ture, PrlOo 60 cents In paper covers: JUKI in ele
gant cloth. Printed In Oc.rn nn and Kng i.ili.
Vlck's Illustrated Monthly Magazine 'Si pages.
Hue llivttlrations,and Colored I'lute iu every num
ber. Price of Vib. Five copies for f.".
Vlt-k't Catalogue Sou lllutra'lous, only 2 cts.
Addroxs, JAMtS VICK, Kochester, M. Y.
Ittull liii. I .1
FLOWER AND VEGETABLE SEEDS
are planted bv a million people In America. 8t
Vick'n Catalogue ,su0 Illustrations, only 2 cts.
Vick a Illustrated Monthly Magazine .12 pares
One Illustrations, and Colored Plate In each num
ber. Price tl H-'a year. Five copies for 5.
Vlck's Flower and Vegetable t.arden. Ut cents.
In paper covers) with eleRoulel'ilhvovei sfl.
All my publleatlous are primed iu Ki.gil.-h and
Oerm.tn.
Addxa4, JAMS8 Vr I, Kochester, N. T.
CJT A rtnldfiit wlio renclieil homu on
a noon train, after tin almence of two
weeka, was met at the r tat Ion by lila
elglit year-old son, who loudly welcomed
him.
" And Ib every body wll, Willie V"
nuked his father.
" The wellest kind," replied the boy.
" And nothing; liiis happened V"
"Nothing at all. I've been good,
Jennlo's been, and I never sow ma bo
1 1 nve hemi'lf ko well as she has this
tiruo."
trA iiillktnan was lately seekliiK tbo
aid of the police to trace the whereabouts
of a family who had left tbo neighbor
hood owing him eighteen dollars,
" Well, I suppose there wns nine dol
lura' worth of water in that milk ac
count," remarked the policeman.
" That's where It galls me that's
where It hurts," replied the dealer.
" They were new customers, and I
hadn't commenced to water the milk
yet."
An opulent farmer applied to un
attorney about a lawsuit, but was told
he could not undertake It, being already
on the other side; at the same time he
gave him a letter of recommendation to
a professional friend. The farmer, out
of curiosity, opened it, and read as
follows :
" Here are two fat wethers fallen out together.
If you'll fleece one, I'll llirce the other,
And make 'em agree like friend and brother."
The persual of this epistle cured both
parties, and terminated the dispute.
CJT " Did I not give you a flogging
tlie other day If" asked a school-master
of a trembling boy.
" Yes, Sir," answered the boy.
" Well, what do the Bcrlptures say
upon the subject '"'
' I don't know, fcSIr," said the toy,
" except It Is in that passage which says,
It's more blessed to give than to re
ceive.' "
tW One of the great features in secret
orders is the number of capital letters
required for Initials to represent their
names or the titles of their officers ; but
a Washington colored society lays over
them all in this regard, its name being,
"The Ancient Order of the Sons and
Daughters of Moses of the United States
and World at Large."
Hereditary.
" What Is the matter with you Y" In
quired a gentleman who had called to
see his neighbor, a German, of Chicago.
" Veil, I don't know it is de gout;
but vy should I have him V"
" Perhaps," suggested his friend, " it
is hereditary."
"I dink it is hereditary; I remember
my vife's uncle have him." ,
CJ"A gentleman in England com
mitted suicide the other day, and left a
paper stating that he did so because his
wife was a great deal too good for him.
That's why the jury returned a verdict
recording their opinion that the deceased
" was of an unsound state of mind."
O" " Have you any marble or plaster
busts of Psyche J"' asked a Chicago lady
at an art store. " No," was the reply of
the polite but rather verdant clerk, " we
have busts of most all the great men,
but none of Sankey." The woman did
not attempt an explanation.
Honest Pride.
An indigent person was perpetu
ally boasting of his origin. A man of
humble origin, who had been indus
trious and successful, hearing this boant,
observed, " You, my friend, are proud
of your descent; I am proud of my an
cent.1'1 Important Query.
Mrs. Partington is anxious to know,
if the compass has a needle and thirty
two points, how long it will take a
woman, with such a needle, to make a
blurt.
2" Boasting of her industrious habits,
an Irish house-maid said she rose at four,
made her fire, put on the kettle, prepar
ed the breakfast, and made all the beds
before any one was up In the house.
t " In the sentence, 'John strikes
William,' " remarked a school-teacher,
" what is the object of ' strikes V "
Higher wages and less work,"
promptly replied the intelligent youth.
y Somebody says every failure is a
step to success. This will explain why
the oftener some men fail the richer they
become.
3 The knock-kneed man can get
over Ihe landscape more rapidly ihan
.the bow-legged man; luf hf cannot
frame it as beautifully..