I IV .4).
Ml ft if aiflSl I
life
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VOL. XI.
THE TIMES.
An Independent Family Newspaper,
18 PUBLISHED EVERT TUESDAY BT
F. M011T1ME11 & CO.
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MARY, I BELIEVED THEE TRUE.
Mary, I believed thee true,
And I was blest lu thus believing
But now I mourn that e'er I kne w
A girl so fair and so deceiving.
Few have ever loved like me
O, I have loved thee too sincerely I
And lew have e'er deceived like thee,
Alas ! deceived me too severely.
Fare tbee well !
Fare thee well I yet thluk awhile
On one whose bosom seems to doubt thee j
Who now would rather trust that smile,
And die with thee than live without thee.
Fare thee well I I'll think of tbee,
Thou leav'st me many a bitter token
For see, distracting woman, see
My peace Is gone, my heart Is broken. '
Fare thee well !
How the Preacher Raised the
Devil.
IT WAS a durk and tempestuous night,
a night to nil the bouI with fright ;
and the lightning flashed, the wild
beasts squealed, when a poor preacher
of the gospel was wending his way
through the dismal Intricacies of a
western forest many years ago.
The poor man felt anything but com
fortable, for he was wet through to the
skin, and almost tired to death. He had
been tramping about since morning, be
sides he had lost his way, so the reader
can imagine what state of mind he was
in, and also appreciate the sudden
transition from despair to hope which
he experienced on seeing the glimmer of
a light ahead. He quickened his flag
ging feet, and soon came up to the light,
which issued from the only window of
a solitary log cabin in the forest.
Remembering the scriptural injunc
tion, "Knock, and it shall be opened
unto you," he did so, but without any
response. He wrapped again, louder
than before, and this time a rough fe
male asked:
"Who's there?"
" It is I," was the Indefinite reply of
the rain soaked parson.
" Well, who are you and what do you
want V" asked the voice, gruffer than
before.
" A poor benighted preacher of the
gospel, who has lost his way, and who
wishes to stay here all night," answered
the preacher, in a dolorous voice.
" Well, stay there don't see what's to
hinder you."
" But I am almost starved, and I will
pay you liberally for some supier," he
responded, his teeth chattering with
cold, not at all appreciating the joke.
The words liberally pay acted like a
charm, and after a few moments of de
lay, caused by the unfastening of the
door, it wa9 opened and our pastor en
tered. He found himself iu a rough apart
ment, with a largo fireplace at one end,
on which a log was blazing; a rough
deal table and three chairs, besides a box
filled with dry flax composed the fur
niture. But all the minor deficiencies seemed
to be made up by the landlady of the
house, for she was full six feet in height,
and weighed nigh unto three hundred
pounds.
After having placed some food on the
table, she turned to the parson, who
stood shivering before the fire, making
futile attempts to warm himself, al
ternately turning one side and then the
other to the fire.
" Now, I want you to eat this grub as
quick as you know how and then tramp,
!N"EV BLOOMFIELD,
as it is utterly Impossible for me to keep
you here over night."
"But, my good woman," said the
parson, anxiously, " I have been wan
dering in tills fearful storm since morn
ing, and If you have any compassion or
pity at all, you will try and give me
some place where I can be sheltered
from the storm of the night," and he
offered a five dollar bill.
" Well," said the woman, avaraclous
ly clutching the money, " if you think
you can stay In the garret, maybe you
can stay; but hurry up, for I expect my
husband home every minute, and It's as
much as your life is worth if he should
catch you here, for he's a perfect devil
incarnate; would think no more of
murdering you than he would of shoot
ing a grizzly bear."
The woman produced a small ladder
as she spoke.
There was a small trap door in the
celling which raised of its own accord
oil the parson's pressing it upward, and
not without some difficulty he managed
to squeeze himself through the aperture.
After he was up, the woman told him
to shut the trap, and not make any
noise for his life, and then, taking the
ludder away, the parson was left to his
own reflections.
Wet and uncomfortable as he was, his
fatigue was such that he had almost
fallen asleep when he was disturbed by
some one knocking at the door.
Being somewhat curious to know
what kind of a man his unknown host
was, he rose and peeped through a small
crack In the floor to the room under
neath. He saw the woman open the
door cautiously, and after admitting a
a short, thick set man in a heavy cloak,
lock it again.
From the mysterious actions and
whispering that ensued, our parson
rightly concluded that the person who
had just entered was not the woman's
husband, but her paramour, who had
taken advantage of his absence to pay
her a nocturnal visit.
After whispering together for a while
the woman went to the cupboard and
produced a bottle of whiskey and a plate
of ham and bread, which she set on a
table, and the twain were soon engaged
in a loving repast.
While the parson was watching the
guilty couple, there came a thundering
knock at the door which caused them
both to Jump to their feet in the greatest
consternation. Without a moment's
loss of time the woman ran to the box
of flax and emptied In on the floor.
Then she bade the man, who was al
most scared to death, to get Into the box,
which he was only too glad to do, and
when he was in she rapidly covered him
with the flax. The woman then ran to
the door and unbolted it, all the while
rubbing her eyes as if she had been
asleep.
" I was asleep and did not hear you
before," whimpered the woman. "And
don't for God's sake curse so much, for
there is a Methodist minister in the
garret."
" Who cares for a Methodist minister,
I'd like to know. But I'll soon have
him out of his hole. Here, you canting
hypocrite, come out of this and show
yourself, of I'll make you," he exclaim
ed, with many imprecations, as he set
the ladder before the trap door.
The poor parson, almost dead with
fright, slowly descended the ladder.look
Ing as white as a ghost, for, from the
rufllan's manner, he would ' a ghost
soon.
" Don't hurt the poor man. See how
sickly he looks I" exclaimed the woman
pitying the poor creature's distress.
" You shut up and mind your own bu
siness, or it will be the worse for you,"
was the gracious reply of her lord ; then
turning to the trembling parson, he
asked :
"Are you a Methodist minister, and
do you believe in hell and the devil ?"
The parson replied in the affirmative.
" Well, by the eternal, I don't, and if
you believe in the devil, you'll either
have to make him appear, or I'll cut
your lying throat and make you appear
before him," and he drew his bowlo
knife in a threatening manner.
The poor preacher was in anything
but an enviable situation, and thoughts
of another world filled his mind with
anxious foreboding; for It is a remarka
ble fact that however much clergyman
may preach and talk of the future world,
LHIiitiiniiiiii;; M'llijWiiimf
1JA.., TUESDAY,
they prefer to have this go on and en
Joy It. This may be self-abnegation or
pure selfihness; Heaven knows.
"Are you most ready ?" asked the
ruffian, raising his knife as be saw the
other hesitate. " I'll give you Just three
minutes, and If the devil Is not here,you
will be with the devil."
" My friend," said the pastor, Into
whose head a brilliant idea had popped,
" that there Is a hell Is a well established
fact, as I can prove by hundreds of
writers ; and that the devil exists allows
no contradiction ; and that I have the
power to make hlin appear Is also true;
but dreadful to you will be the conse
quences if he does. Better for you had
you never been born than see Satan face
to face In the wicked state in whicli you
are."
" D n you, stop preaching and call
the old boy, I'll stand theconsequences
for the time's up."
The parson went to the fireplace and
took a brand, which he applied to the
box of flax. It blazed up almost like
gunpowder, and the unearthly yell that
issued from the poor devil in the box
was truly appalling. With acrobatic
power, of the possession of which lie
was himself unaware, he leaped out of
the box, covered from head to foot with
burning flax.
With roars and howls of agony he
made struight for the door, but he was
not so quick as the owner of the prem
ises, for, with one look of terror at the
burning figure, he fled out of the house,
closely pursued by his Botanic Majesty.
When they were both gone, the parson
gave his hostess a short but effective
lecture on connubial duties, after which
he seated himself before the fire.
When the husband returned he treated
the parson with the greatest respect,
fully convinced that he had the power
to raise the devil at will.
A FURIOUS RIDE.
I NEVER told you about my first-ride
from Albany to Kingston did I V
Well, I will. It was let me see in
1840. I was working at the old English
tavern ; had a couple of nice horses, and
for a young man, was doing a fine busi
ness. Those days there was neither
railroads or telegraph ; the stage-coach
was the only mode of public, travel, and
it was the event of the day to see the
coaches from the West and New York
bustle up to the tavern. Well, one cold
morning in the middle of December, I
was just stepping out from the office to
the long wooden veranda, when I noticed
two well dressed gentlemen, each carry
ing a good-sized traveling satchel, hurry
ing toward the hotel. One of them ad
dressing me, said :
" Stage for New York gone yet ?"
" Yes, sir."
" How long?"
" More'n two hours ago."
" They were much excited bver the
news and asked how they could to get
to New York speedily. I told them I
didn't know. The boats had stopped
running a month, although one of them
still ran to Kingston, the river being
open that fur up. She would leave that
evening for New York, and the stage.
coach which left Albany a couple of
hours before would transfer her pussen
gers and malls to the steamer at Kings
ton Point. Then the gentlemen said
they must get that boat, and asked if I
knew of a couple of fast horses in the
city, and if they could hire or get a car
riage to beat the stage In. It was a mat
ter of life and death they said they would
pay any price. I asked what price they
would pay , and they told me $900 to beat
the stage to Kingston. It was a big sum
and I whistled, but told them I'd take
them, and off I ran. I found a friend
of mine, Hank Lewis he hitched up
trie Horses to a four seated sleigh ; the
two gentlemen bought a bottle of whis
key, and away we went ' belter skelter'
for Kingston. Lord how we did go !
Two hours behind the stage, and yet be
fore we reached Athens we passed It.
Near Catsklll the horses gave out com.
pletely and we had to hire a new team
I didn't want to go any further on ac
count of my horses, but one of the gen
tlemen asked, what Is that team of yours
worth r Three hundred dollars, I said
Drive on, he answered,! '11 pay for them
Once we tipped over, and half an hour
was spent lu getting to rights. Then
we went it again, and at 4:;!0 we drove
up to Kingston Point,where the steamer
1
lil'ljillljiiililli;!
DECEMBER 25, 1B77.
lay all loaded, I ut walling for the Al
bany mall.
The two gentlemen went on board and
asked for Captain Dean. He came aft,
and they told him what they told Lewis
and me coming down. How they re
sided In Canada, but were the sons of an
English nobleman, who had recently
died, leaving a valuable estate. And that
their presence was needed immediately
in London, if they would save the estate
from a designing relative. The packet
sailed from New York for Liverpool on
the first tide next morning. They must
get it or wait thirty days for the next
ship,and so lose their fortune. They of
fered the captain $2,000 if he would leave
then and there and make certain of
catching the ship.
" Would like to make that $2,000,gen
tlemen," said Captain Dean, "but my
orders are not to leave till I get the Al
bany mail, and I cannot accept."
" They seemed much disappointed, but
said it couldn't be expected, and they
made themselves agreeable to everybody
about. They paid me the $000 prom-
ised,and gave me $300 for the lost horses
and gave my driver and men over $100
each. We wulted until the stage came
In, the mails and passengers were trans
ferred ; away went the boat in a hurry ;
then we rode leisurely back to Albany,
it being a fine night, but before we got
there we met mounted police furiously
coming after our passengers, dead noble
man's bogus sous. They were bank rob
bers, and those two satchels they held,
contained over $200,000 In gold and
Bank of England notes, the proceeds of
a big Montreal robbery."
" Did they catch them V"
"Catch 'einV No. When the boat
started that night they talked wlthCapt.
Dean, and offered him $-300 if he would
put tbem on board of the outward bound
ship before he landed, as she would be
lying In the channel. Capt. Dean ac
cepted, at just at daylight the steamboat
lay alongside the vessel, and by the time
Capt. Dean got to his pier, and the pas
sengers awoke, the ship was sailing
through the Narrows and away to Eng
land."
" And the robbers were never heard
of?"
" Never. Why they had a start of 30
days, and being young men then, they
are perhaps living in clover in some
European country on their ill-gotten
wealth. They were smart enough to
take us in by their smooth talk and gen
tlemanly address."
The story has the merit of being liter
ally true. Albany Express.
-4-
"They All Do It."
rpHERE are few books that comprise
JL as much vicious teaching within a
space of four or five hundred pages as la
contained in this little phrase, " they all
do it," which has been placarded on the
bill-boards, and called into the ears of
the public for some time past. This is
the one sentence which takes the courage
completely out of youth, searing their
consciences as with a red-hot iron, and
permitting despair to carry them off
bodily Into the depths of crime.
"Oh, they all do it: why should not
your" That is the suggestion. "That
man there lies and cheats, and will
commit any crime which the law does
not make dangerous. So it Is with all
of them. There is no use in your try
ing to be different from other people.
Such is the way the temptation comes
to the young man thrown on the world
with little knowledge of its ways, and
per hups shielded only by the loose train
ing of an over-fond mother. "People
are grossly immoral it is said." Even
temperance advocates get drunk in pri-.
vate; church deacons swindle Savings
Banks ; all you see of morality is but a
surface show. Beneath, there is con
cealed wickedness. You. will find you
mubt follow the multitude;" and the
youth with the pleasure of the world
thus held up before his glowing imagin
ation, and full of bodily health, plunges
forthwith into what he believes to be
"the world."
If the devil had concentrated all his
cunning during the centuries which
have elapsed since his ejection from
Paradise, he could not have produced a
more powerful argument with which to
conquer the soul of man than this,
"They all do it."
But young man, listen. That sentence
is a lie; as base and foul a lie as ever was
NO. 51.
conceived in the mind of man or devil.
They don't " all do It." Therearethou-
sanda upon thousands of good, pure
men and women in this world, bad as it
may seem, who are leading upright
lives. They believe In God, and in the
commands of vlrture, and are going
along with the happiest results to them
selves and their neighbors. There are
men who think that they are put into
this world not to gratify their own base
appetites, but, to be true and noble and
highminded men. There are men who
would disdain to tell a lie. There are
men who would disdain to be accessory
to a woman's full. There are men who
would disdain to take an advantage in
trade, or to do any other selfish or mean
action. There are men who try to be
Just, always, and kindly both in words
and feelings to all. There are men who
lead humble, unpretentious lives, and
who without making it known to the
world are dally doing a vast amount of
good among their fellowmen.
And, is it strange to say ' these men
lead very happy lives and as a rule very
successful lives. While the unprincipled
man may enjoy temporary success,
sooner or later he will suffer for his lack
of honesty. There are a thousand ways
in which Virtue revenges herself upon
him. But in one way or another he
gets his deserts. There are plenty of
criminals around you, it is true. But
they are to be pitied, not imitated.
Never believe that what some do, all do;
make In your own person a standing
example of the falsity of "They all
do it."
A Puzzled Sea Captain.
Whale-ships carry no doctor. The
captain adds the doctorship to his own
duties. He not only gives medicines,
but sets broken limbs after notions of
his own, or saws them off and pears the
stump when amputation seems best.
The captain Is provided with a medicine
chest, with the medicines numbered in
stead of named. A book of directions
goes with this. It describes diseases and
symptoms, and says, " Give a teaspoon
ful of No. 9 once an hour," or "Give
ten grains of No. 12 every half hour,"
etc. One of our sea captains came across
a skipper in the North Pacific who was
in a state of great surprise and perplex
ity. Said be:
" There's something rotten about this
medicine-chest business. One of my
men was sick, nothing much the
matter. I looked in the book: it said,
give him a teaspoonful of No. 15. I
went to the medicine-chest, and I see I
was out of No. 45. I judged I'd got
to get up a combination somehow that
would fill the bill ; so I hove into the
fellow half a teaspoonful of No. 8 and
half a teaspoonful of No. 7, and I'll be
hanged if It didn't kill him in fifteen
minutes I There's something about this
medicine-chest system that's too many
for met" -,
C3 Judge Hilton was recently asked
how many people were employed in the
Stewart store at the corner of Broadway
and Tenth street, New York, and re
plied, " Three thousand, all told." In
reply to an inquiry as to how the female
employees lunch, he led the way to an
immense loft, at one side of which were
two long lines of tables. Young girls
were busy arranging them. '.'There,"
said he, " we accommodate five hundred
at a time. We furnish tea and coffee,
and they bring for lunch whatever they
like. They have half an hour for their
meal, and seem to like it. We are
rather proud of our work-women, and
take good care of them." Judge Hilton
also said that lace curtains made by
machinery, and durable for a lifetime,
are sold at $10 a pair, that in other days,
when made by haud, would have cost
$400, and that a pair used by Mrs.
Stewart, at arutoga, costing t retail
$25 were valued by experts at $'JJ0.
Where He Wore His Shirt
Rev. Dr. K. was a little careless about
his personal appearance, and some o
his parishioners were suspicious that his
salary was inadequate. Finally, a lady
delicately broaehd the subject, and he
said he hadn't a whole shirt to his back.
A dozen were soon made and presented
to him. He expressed surprise at the
gift, when the lady replied that she un
derstood he hadn't a whole shirt to his
back. " True," said be, " I did say so ;
but in my seventy years' experience I
have never been able to wear more than
half a shirt to my back; the other half
always comes on the front side."
(