VOL. XI.
NEW BLOOMF'IEILiD, FJl., TUESDAY, JULY 81, 1877. NO. 30.
THE TIMES.
An Independent Family Newspaper,
IS PUBLISHED EVERT TCESIUTBT
P. MORTIMER & CO.
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THE HERO.
The eannons were all silent, the bugle ceased
to sound.
And many a valiant warrior lay lifeless on the
ground,
For night had forced an armstlce upon the eager
loes.
And all around was quietness, save where the cry
arose '
From wounded and from dying, or when the war
horse neighed.
For man and beast alike had felt the keenness of
the blade.
And now a lonely maiden In searching o'er the
plain,
For she would 11 nd her lover, to kiss If he be
slain t
To tend his wounds If wounded, to bathe his
aching head ;
And still she weeps, for much she fears he's num
bered with the dead.
For hours she wanders slowly, and looks at every
face,
Till, weary, sad, and foot-sore, she leaves the hor
rid place.
But where, on, Where's her hero? For his coun
try has he died T
And was he foremost in the flght the bravest on
his side f
She walked till nearly daybreak, in sad and
pensive mood.
When suddenly the lost one before the maiden
stood,
Joy 1 joy l he had not perished ! Ere was the
light begun, t
The owner of that gallant form had turned
about and run I
A Bashful Man's Courtship.
THE SUMMER of 1S75 was an event
ful Beason for Mr. Solomon Poddy,
tor in the pleasant month of August of
that year Miss Tabitha Jones conceived
the idea that she would spend a few
weeks in dull, quiet Tattleopolis. She
came, and, like Ceesar, he saw, and she
conquered; and on her return to New
York carried with her in one of the
numberless valises, bags, and bundles
which inflamed the ire of baggage
masters and hackmen, the heretofore
unappropriated heart of Solomon Poddy.
Mr. Poddy was a very bashful man ;
.so much so that he might safely be ex
hibited as a prodigy of bashfulness, and
challenge the world to produce his
qual.
With the reputation for wealth which
Solomon Poddy has acquired, he was
free to pick from all the buxom farmers'
daughters round whom he would for a
wife.
Many were the evenings he spent in
his room and ruminated on the Bubjecl
of getting married. He went bo far at
this time as to venture to spend the
winter evenings at the houses of the
hospitable farmers in the neighborhood,
selecting those who were blessed with
prepossessing daughters of a marriage
able age. At Farmer Smith's he spent
four evenings discussing the subject of
winter fodder, much to the amusement
of Miss Matilda Smith, in whose eyes
he sought to find favor. And when
the old man began to doze, and then,
with the observation (for he perfectly
well knew the purport of Solomon's
rrand), "Well, Mr. Poddy, I calker
late I'll go to bed, as I've got to be up
bright and early in the mornln'; I
guess you and Matildy can keep each
other company for the rest of the even
in'," and taking his candle, stumbled
up to bed, whither Matilda's mother had
preceded him, Solomon would have
given half his fortune to have had the
power of saying what he wanted to say
to Matilda. But, alas! he could only
stammer something about the weather
and the prospects of the snow storm,
and after an awkward pause, in which
Matilda looked down and formed her
lips to a yes, take his hat and say be
must really go, it was late. Half-way
home h cursed his own foolishness, and
pieking up courage, went back with the
Intention of1 carrying Matilda's heart by
a desperate forlorn hope, come what
would, and narrowly escaped receiving
a charge of small shot in his body, fired
from the farmer's shot-gun, he mistaking
the forlorn Bultor for a chicken thief,
after which warm welcome Mr. Poddy
hurried home and gave Matilda up in
despair.
So it was with the other two court
ships. When he mustered up courage
and escorted Polly Bascome home from
meeting one Sunday evening, he was
horrlfled to hear, the following week,
that he had been accepted by that young
lady, and though at the time he wished
he was In that position, he never even
looked at her again.
He spent several pleasant evenings at
Widow Brown's, and had got so fur as
holding the widow's pretty daughter
Bessie's ball of crochet cotton, without
turning pink, . when one evening he
overheard the hired girl refer to " that
goose 1 why don't he speak out?" and
the widow knew Poddy no more.
Thus perished in the bud Solomon's
young all'ections before they had begun
to make an impression upon the adored
object.
Solomon Poddy had celebrated his
forty-fifth birth day. Gray hairs began
to show among the carroty locks, and
good living had rounded out his form.
Still he was under the dominion of the
stern-faced Miss Perkins, his maiden
aunt and houskeeper, and was supposed
by all the people round, who were ac
quainted with his feelings, to be a con
firmed old bachelor. But such was not
to be his fate.
The summer of '75 came, and with it
came an influx of city boarders to sleepy
Tattleopolis. Down the road from Solo
mon's, Peter Hicks had his house full
of "a lot of crazy, lmpudentgals," Miss
Perkins told Poddy ; and one evening,
soon after his arrival, as he was smok
ing a pipe on his front piazza, a wagon
load of them passed by and saluted him
muoh to his surprise with a volley of
" Good evening Mr. Poddy." Old Hicks
had informed them of poor Solomon's
troubles, and every one had made up
their mind to get a desperate flirtation
with the old bachelor.
After that Solomon drove to the
village by a miserable rough and stony
back lane which ran between stone walls
overgrown with blackberry bushes, and
avoided Hick's young lady boarders.
Along this road Poddy was jogging
one day behind his old gray mare, bump
ing over the stones, and musing as he
went on the misery of living in the
same house with Miss Perkins, when he
heard a little scream and, looked up, saw
his fate.
Lazily straggling along the narrow
lane, cropping the choice bits of grass
as she came, was Hick's old red cow,
and perched upon the highest stone in
the wall, where she had cllmbed.fearless
of the brambles and briers which grew
rank up to the top, was a lady, in mor
tal dread of the cow.
Here was a predicament for Solomon.
But though a bashful man, he was not
devoid of politeness. He hastened to
the rescue of the fair prisoner, and'drove
the surprised cow down the road at a
run, then approached to help the lady
from her elevated position.
" Thank you, I can g4t down very
well indeed.'.' And the lady proceeded
to get down.
A rattling of stones, then a scream,
and our hero, turning quickly, found
the over-confident lady hanging by her
hands and feet to the wall. Solomon's
bashfulness gave way to the dictates of
humanity ,and he sprang forward,caught
the lady in his arms just as her hold
was loosening, when Oh, heavens 1
his foot slipped, and down both rolled,
one over the other, through the briers
and stinging nettles, into the ditch.
Nothing is so apt to establish two
strangers on congenial terms as the en
durance of mutual misfortunes. When
Solomon and the lady sat up and looked
into each other's scratched and bleeding
faces, all restraint was thrown aside.
" I am afraid, sir, I have caused you
great trouble and pain by my foolish ner
vousness," said she, and she adjusted
her spectacles to her nose and looked at
Solomon's face.
"Oh no, madam, I am used to I
mean I could not do otherwise uuderthe
circumstances," stammered that gentle
man, holding his handkerchief to his
bleeding countenance.
The lady smiled sweetly, and held out
a hand that he might help her to her
feet. The grasses and alpenstock were
picked up, and then Poddy, blushing so
scarlet as to almost hide the bleeding
scratches, intimated that a seat In Iris
wagon was at her disposal for her Jour
ney home.
" If you have room, I should like to
ride as far as the next turning at Mr.
Hick's house. I am stopping there,"
said she, as she took the proffered seat.
" May I ask the name of the gentleman
who has been of such service to me this
morning ?"
" Poddy, ma'am Solomon Poddy,"
replied the owner of the name.
" Oh, indeed ! Mr. Poddy," exclaimed
the lady with another smile. " I have
heard the young ladles at Mr. Hick's
speak of you. Here's my card, and I
hope you will call when you are passing,
so I can thank yon more fully than I
can now.
Solomon felt very warm and hoped
those gltls had not been ridiculing him.
The card read, Miss Tabitha Jones,
1001 West Twenty-thlrd street,"
"Hal" continued Miss Tabitha, "I
will stop here, if you please. There are
some of our young friends. Thank,
you, Sir; I can get down better here
than from off the wall." And Mlas
Tabitha alighted, and was immediately
saluted with a chorus of,
" Good gracious, Miss Jones I where
have you been ? Mercy I how her face
is scratched ! Did he give you the ferns ?
Aren't they splendid? Do tell us.
What did the old gentleman say ? Oh,
what a flirt you are, Miss Jones ?" from
the surrounding bevy of girls, as Solo
mon drove rapidly away.
That night he did not sleep a wink,
but lay thinking of Miss Tabitha, and
congratulating himself on the good im
pression he must have made. All the
morning he wandered around the place,
unable to turn his hand to anything,
and at last concluded to brave the bat
tery of sly looks and giggles, and ride
down to Hlck'B to inquire into the ef
fects of the adventure on Miss Tabitha 's
health.
When the love stricken swain pulled
up in front of Hick's house, Mrs. H.
was employed In adjusting a shiny row
of milk pans along the fence, and, of
course, woman like, immediately divin
ed his mission, and smiled slyly as she
welcomed him.
"Good day, Mr. Poddy, just drive
around to the front door, and Mary Ann
shall open it for you." Then in a loud
voice to Mary Ann, tell Miss Jones Mr.
Poddy has called to Bee her, and open
the front door for him."
All Solomon's resolution oozed away
at this open proclamation of his busi
ness. " No, no, Mrs. Hicks," he said, In
great trepidation. ' " I I was only driv
ing past, and and in fact. Well,
where is Mr. Hicks V"
" Never mind, Mary Ann. He wants
to gee Hicks. You needn't tell Miss
Jones, screamed the irrepressible Mrs.
Hicks.
Solomon's trepidation increased, and
he noticed the movement of au upper
shutter, and heard a faint laugh, he
wishedthe road would open and swallow
him, horse, buggy, and all.
"Oh, it's nothing in particular,"
stammered he. " Only I was driving
past and thought I should like to see
him about about oh, yes about that
pig."
" He's in the barn, or oh, yes, here
he comes," returned Mrs. II., with a
look of supreme disgust on her face.
" That man is the biggest chicken
hearted goose that ever lived. I just
wish he had come courtin' of me, Mary
Ann," remarked the Irate lady to her
handmaiden, wheu she returned to the
kitchen.
"How do, Poddy?" said Mr. Hicks,
as he walked up. " Come to see how
Miss Jones got over her fright ? Lucky
thing you were passing at that time, or
she might have hurt herself. It jess
beats me how these city folks do gad
round in the most uualrthly places ;"
and Mr. Hicks winked in a' knowing
manner.
Solomon only smiled in a sickly man
ner, and asked: " ',
" What do you want for that pig,
Hlcki?" . ,
"What pig?" returned the mystified
Hicks.
" Why ah I that pig. Ah, that pig I
passed down the road," stammered Mr.
Poddy with a guilty look, trying to re
member that he had passed the pig In
question.
" Oh, that old hog. Why, you can
have him for his keep. He'll break
down all your fences, and root up your
garden to ruins," said Hicks, with a
broad grin upon his face.
"You don't see anything laughable
in mebuying ahog,doyou,Mr. Hicks ?"
asked Poddy with mock dignity. " That
Is a fine hog. I want him for the
breed."
That was too much for the farmer,
and he laughed outright.
" Well, if you want him, send down
and get him. I was thinking of shoot
ing the old rascal," said he.
"I will," said Mr. Poddy, with great
earnestness, and he drove off. In the
road he passed along-bodled,lean, bristly
old boar, footing in the ditch with his
ugly tusk, which he presumed was his
rash bargain. Giving the unfortunate
grunter a lash with his whip, and cut
ting poor old Dobbin unmercifully over
the back, he rattled home.cursing Hicks,
the hog, himself, and all mankind for
his own folly.
At home he was so unbearable that
Miss Perkins resolved to put the screws
on, and adopt her old pushing tactics to
bring him to the wall, but with no re
sult. Two miserable days passed, and then
he made a desperate resolve to see Miss
Jones, or drown himself in the mill
pond on his return If he was a second
time so foolish as to forego that pleas
ure. He would go straight to the front
door and ask for Tabitha, without
troubling either the master or the mis
tress of the house. He couldn't very
well withdraw after that.
But this ingenious plan very nearly
failed. Arriving at the house, he tied
his horse in a very careful and scientific
manner, to the great astonishment of
old Dobbin, who had never shown the
slightest inclination to run away. Three
times he got as far as the gate, and re
turned to satisfy him that the knot was
safe. At the third attempt to mount the
steps and knock,who should come round
the corner house but old Hicks.
" It's no good," thought Solomon, " I
can't do it ; and here is a loop-hole for
escape."
"That you, Poddy? When are you
going to send for that hog ?" slyly asked
the farmer.
" I I have come for it now," stam
mered Solomon.
" Well, it ain't there. Come round the
barn."
Poddy's face assumed an agonized ex
pression, and he turned away from the
door, fully resolved that the coroner
should have a job and the county a sen
sation, when a well known face with a
pair of gold spectacles appeared at a side
window, and Miss Tabltha's voice was
heard.
" Is it really you, Mr. Poddy ? I was
afraid you had suffered from my foolish
accident. Do come In."
Mr. Solomon Poddy went in, and was
introduced to all the girls, and knocked
over several chairs, gave some very con
tradictory answers to questions, blushed
and hesitated, and in the words of Mrs.
Hicks, "behaved more like a big over
grown gawky boy than a man of fifty."
All of which furnished amusement for
the young lady boarders, who were
sternly reproved at supper table by Miss
Jones for their heartless conduct.
The ice was broken; and by some mys
terious process he never knew himself
just how it was brought about but be
fore the return flight of the boarders to
New York in the full,Tabitha Jones had
confided her maidenly heart to Solomon
Poddy's keeping, and they were to be
married in December
Miss Jones occupied the second floor
back room of Mrs. Hasher's fashionable
boarding-house In Twenty-Third street.
The front room on the same floor was
occupied by a lady, Mrs. Daniel Bankum
by name.
Mrs. Bankum was a widow, and her
sole need now was a successor for the
dead-and-gone Bankum, and a father, as
Bhe told the assembled company at Mrs.
Hasher's for her poor boy.
Mrs. Bankum had selected for the po
sition of parent, a certain Mr. Wilks, a
wealthy gentleman in the neighborhood
and by dint of perseverance and the ex
ercise of all her powers of fascination
had almost secured his capture.
Mrs. Bankum had made noattemptto
conceal her designs upon the single bles
sedness of Mr. Wilks.
At last the day of triumph came, and
Mrs. Bankum displayed a note in which
the beguiled victim made a formal proffer
of hid hand and fortune.
" And the dear old fool will be here to
night to receive his answer. What does
he think I am made of, to refuse sixty
thousand a ' year V And Mrs. B. dis
played two rows of dentist's flnest
handlwtrk, as she laughed at such a pre
posterous idea.
. Here was a coincidence I Miss Jones
fiearly fainted. Was It not the 20th of
December, and was not her Solomon
coming that very evening to lead her off
captive to the residence of the Rev. Mr.
Heartsease, there to make her his wife ?
To no one had Miss Tabitha confided
her sweet secret. It was too sacred to be
bandied about, like Mrs. Bankum's pub
lic courtship.
The Bull was just about to disappear
behind the Weehawken bluffs as the
train rolled into the Grand Central de
pot, and the passengers hurried out of
the cars. Solomon was getting more
and more nervous every minute.
It was quite dusk, and the street lamps
were flickering, when Mrs. Hasher's
was reached, but the gas in the hall had
not been lighted. Solomon dismissed the
hackman, and ascended the brown-stone
steps with a beating heart. A trim servant-girl
answered his ring, and he
mumbled something intended to see
Miss Jones, forgetting to send up his
card in his confusion.
"Oh yes, sir; I'll tell her," said the
girl, with a queer smile, as she showed
Solomon into the dim parlor.
" Bless my soul I I believe that girl
knows all about It," thought he. " It's
very annoying."
A rustle of silk was heard on the
stair, and Solomon turned, with a start,
Just in time to receive a tall and fleshy
lady, weeping in a very stagy manner,
into his arms.
"I am yours, my dear, dear Mr.
Wilks," sobbed the lady. ,
"Good gracious! what does this
mean? This must be some horrible
mistake," ejaculated Mr. Poddy, as he
staggered to a chair with his burden.
" Be calm, my dear madam. My name
is not Wilks."
" Not Wilks !" shrieked Mrs. Bankum, (
starting up. "Help I help I thieves I,
murder."
" Thunder and lightning I She's gone
crazy and I am the cause. Be quiet,
madam do, please," entreated the
wretched Poddy.
"Oh, Charles, save me from this
drunken lunatic 1" cried Mrs. Bankum,
as a young man came into the room;
and then she went into hysterica.
" What do you mean by this conduct,
you villain ?" shouted Mr. Charles, ap
proaching Solomon in a threatening
manner. I
" I'm sure I I don't know," stam
mered Solomon, almost bereft of his
senses.
" Well, tHen, get out of here," thun
dered Mr. Bankum, taking him by the
collar and pushing him out upon the'
stoop.
This was more than Poddy could
bear. :
" Let go my coat, sir 1" he shouted, as
he wrenched himself clear. " I demand
to see Miss Jones. . , N
" Oh, that's your game, is it ?" said
the other. "Want to frighten all the
ladies in the house, do you ? Get off
the stoop, you vagabond 1" and he push
ed the fighting, struggling Poddy to the
sidewalk, where quite an admiring
crowd had now gathered. Then all the
Poddy blood was up, and striking out In
a not very scientific manner, Solomon
knocked Mr. Charles down ; but he was
up in a second, and returned the com
pliment by knocking Mr, Poddy into
the gutter, from whence he was pulled
by a blue-coated policeman.
"Now, then, what's the row, Mr.
Bankum ?" asked the ofticer, who waa
very well acquainted with that gentle,
man, having assisted him to And the
key-hole of No. 1921 more than once.
"He's a drunken beggar or a sneak
thief, I think," auswered Mr. Bankum,
I