Newspaper Page Text
NEW BLQOMFIELD, PA., TUESDAY, MAY 8, 1877.
An Independent Family Newspaper,
IS FUBUSnSD KVEIIT tuESDAT BY
F. MORTIMElt & (X).
Within the County
" " " Rlx month
Out ef the County, Includlug postage,
" " " six mouths "
Invariably in Advance I
sr Advertising rates furnished upon appli
cation. A SLIGHT MISTAKE.
' ' 'I
TEAREST KITTY.-I write you a
JJ word, in haste, to tell you that
Cousin Fred has returned from abroad
and will be In Boston next week, and I
shall send him to call on you. You
know that I have always had a great de
sire that you two should meet, I think
you would like each other so much.
Now please don't be perverse that's a
darling I but look your prettiest, and
smile your sweetest upon him, for he Is,
as I have always told you, the best and
most charming fellow In the world.
You know I am not a bit of a match
maker, so don't get up your dignity on
that account. I wouldn't venture to se
lect a 4 helpmeet' for you, of for Fred,
either, for that matter; hut I know 3-ou
will be good friends, right away. Don't
forget that you have promised me a visit
Ever your loving friend
Miss Kitty Tyler read this letter twice,
with heightened color, and a gleam in
her eyes that betokened mischief. For
Miss Kitty was something of a coquette
and was very tired of all the victims at
present on her list, and had been sigh
ing, that very morning, for "new worlds
-to conquer." " Cousin Fred" had the
reputation, too, of being very fastidious;
he was over thirty, and had hitherto
been invulnerable to all the assaults of
the enemy. ' He was handsome, rich,
-cultivated ; " a foeman worthy of her
steel." Miss Kitty actually executed a
piroutte, in her delight.
" I wonder when he'll come ; perhaps
to-day ! I must do my hair in that new
style that Del Norton said was so be
coming!" And Kitty let down her yellow locks,
her chief beauty, and devoted herself,for
a longer time than I like to tell, to their
But it was all in vain, for no Cousin
Fred made his appearance. Two or three
days passed, and he came not. Her cous
in Lilian, to whom she had confided the
important news, recited " Marianna in
the Moated Grange," provokingly. Lil
ian was provoking In a good many ways;
in the first place, she was provokingly
pretty, for a poor relation, whom one
had to have forever in the way ; and
then, instead of being melancholy and
unobtrusive, as became a dependent, she
was as gay and light-hearted as a bird,
and would not be snubbed, however hard
one tried ; and Miss Kitty could not try
very hard, as well as she would have
liked to, for Tap Tyler loved her as well
as he did his own daughter, for the sake
of her dead mother his only sister and
Mamma Tyler, fat,comfortable and easy
" La, Kitty, don't be Jealous of the
poor child ! She's got nothing in the
world but her pretty looks, and you can
outshine her in every way 1"
But Kitty didn't feel by any means
sure of that. Lilian was a beauty, with
her clear olive skin, and her great black
Spanish eyes ; and, worse than being a
beauty, she had a " way with her" that
made people men and women both
fall in love with her.
Now I would not have you think that
Lilian was as badly off as Cinderella
with her " proud sisters." Kitty was not
so bad but that she tried not to be jeal
ous or envious of Lilian, and did, as a
general thing, treat her very kindly ;
but being naturally of a Jealous disposi
tion, she drf sometimes heartily wish
her out of the way'; of which feeling
Lilian was apparently as unconscious
as a babe. '
Lilian did not manifest the slightest
, interest in the expected " Cousin Fred
It would not have been well for ber if
he had. Kitty meant that her pretty
cousin should be kept .well out of the
"way of the fastidious geutleman of whom
. the meant to make a conquest.
. A week passed, and still he did not
ome. On Saturday afternoon a card
was brought up to Kitty bearing the
name Frederick Lockhart.
"O, that horrid sewing-machine agent
again !" exclaimed Kitty. " I do wish
mamma had not talked with him about
a machine, he is such a bore I And the
idea of his sending up his card, In that
way, as If he were a visitor 1 The im
pudence of the thing ! Nora, tell the
man we don't wish to see him, and he
will oblige us by never calling here
Nora departed, and was soon heard de
livering her message, just inside the
drawing-room door; when suddenly
Lilian started up.
" I think that Is really too bad, Kitty,
for I heard Aunt Laura ask him to call
again, and I think she means to buy a
machine of him. I don't see that It was
anything very dreadful to send up his
card ; of course he wanted her to know
who he was!"
And Lilian was flying down stairs be
fore Kitty had time to remonstrate, if
she wished too.
Nora was ushering a handsome and
elegantly-attired gentleman out of the
hall-door. He turned his head at the
sound of Lilian's footsteps, and she en
countered a very haughty gaze from a
pair of keen brown eyes.
" Walt a moment. I think there is a
mistake," stammered Lilian, a little
awed by his manner, if he was only a
sewing-machine agent. "My aunt
Mrs. Tyler did wish toseeyou,I think.
She had some idea of buying a machine
of you. If you will call sometime when
she is at home "
The keen brown eyes did not leave her
face, and Lilian found herself blushing
in the most unaccountable and ridicu
A smile flickered faintly about the cor
ners of his mouth, and he hesitated for
a moment. Then he bowed gravely, and
went, without a word in reply.
" If that's the sewin'-machine agent,
it's folne and handsome he's growed
since the last time he was here," said
" Why, isn't it the same man V but
of course it must be. Aunt Laura said
his name was Lockhart."
" I was afther thinkin' it was a little
pindlin' feller ; but he moight be the
same for all I'd know ; it's a little notice
Nora Flnnerty takes o' the men thrub-
blesome crathurs !"
And Lilian went up stairs to receive a
scolding from Kitty for interfering with
the message she had sent, and being so
polite to a peddler. The truth was that
Kitty was a little out of temper because
Cousin Fred had not appeared.
The glance Lilian had received from
those brown eyes of the sewing-machine
agent haunted her more than she would
have acknowledged, even to herself.
" If he were a prince he couldn't look
any more high-bred," thought she; and
she inwardly resolved to see Mr. Freder
ick Lockhart the next time he called, if
But he did not call again. Lilian men
tioned him, one day, to her aunt, and
received the information that she had
told him, a month before, that Bhe had
decided to buy a sewing-machine of an
other k!nd, and It was very strange that
he should have called again; but then,
sucn people were always so persistent!
Lilian was conscious of a wish that
he might be persistent enough to call
still again ; and though she laughed at
herself for it, and was ashamed of it, she
could not drive it away. '
Lilian was " ridiculously romantic,"
said her cousin Kitty, and perhaps she
was not far from the truth. What
would she have said if she had known
that Lilian was haunted by one glance
which a sewing-machine agent had cast
upon her, as she stood in the hall-door 1
that she was bewailing the cruelty of
fate that would not let them meet again!
But fate was not so cruel, after all.
One November day, Lilian, being down
town on a shopping expedition, was
overtaken by a sudden and violent rain
Bhe had only a few blocks to walk to
reach the horse cars, but in that distance
she would have been drenched if It bad
not been for the friendly aid and um
brella of the sewing-machine agent,
It was very improper.of course. What
he ought to have done was to have walk
ed straight by her, and let her get
drenched. At all events.that was Kitty's
But what he did do, was to walk up to
her, without the slightest hesitation ,and
ask if he might be allowed to shelter her
with his uuibreblla.
And instead of 11 withering him with
a glance of scorn," and insisting upon
getting wet, as she should have done, ac
cording to Kitty, Lilian said " yes, and
thank you," and walked nlong,dcmure
ly and gratefully, by his side.
He asked her, almost Immediately, if
Mrs. Tyler had purchased a sewing ma
chine yet. (So he remembered her from
that one glance, thought Lilian.) But
she did not quite like the manner In
which he asked the question ; so seri
ously and earnestly, as if selling sewing-
machines was all he thought of in the ,
world! Perhaps he was being polite to
her now, only for the possible chance of I
selling a sewing-machine ! Kitty was
right they were peillers ; would she quite ;
like her husband to be a sewing-machine
ageut ? And Lilian sighed.
She was about to leave him, at the ;
door of the horse car, with a word of i
thanks, when he also entered the car,
murmuring something about his desti
nation lying In the same direction and
seated himself beside her.
It was not at all proper ; Lilian no- j
knowledge! that to herself; but he made
himself so very agreeable ! He had such
elegant manners, and he was evidently
traveled and well-read. Lilian thought
that she had never had so entertaining a
companion. And it was still raining
fast, how could she object to his leaving
the car when she did, and accompany
ing her to her own door And, when
on taking leave of her there, ' he asked
her, with the most charming grace of
manner, if he might be allowed the
privilege of calling on her, what could
she do She could not harden her
heart enough to refuse, even if he was
only a sewing-machine agent, at whom
Kitty would turn up her aristocratic
So she said yes, with the prettiest
blush imaginable, and the sewing-machine
agent, in a state of beatitude, went
Once inside the house, Lilian began to
realize tliat she had got herself into a
little difficulty, and that a frank expla
nation was perhaps her best chance of
escape from it. She certainly could not
have a strange gentleman calling on her
without inquiries being made, and she
would be obliged to tell, sooner or later,
who he wa9 even if her aunt did not
recognize him, which she might possibly
do, although she was near-sighted and
not blessed with a particularly good
memory of faces.
So she related her adventure, freely,
though without expressing quite so
much admiration for the Bewing-machlne
agent as she felt.
Kitty was very much shocked ; she
considered it a very great impertinence
in the man, and a very great indiscre
tion on Lilian's part. If It had been a
handsome and distingue unknown, it
might have been a different thing ; but
a sewing-machine agent ! It was too
dreadful to think of!
Even good, easy-going Mrs. Tyler was
distressed. She uttered the oue remon
strance which was always heard from
her lips when she was deeply moved :
" My dear,what do you suppose people
would say " i ,
Uncle Tyler only laughed, and said he
must have been a "good-looking fellow, ",
or Lilian wouldn't have forgotten the
proprieties on his account.
So Lilian understood that she was not
absolutely forbidden to receive Mr. Lock
hart, and was happy accordingly.
! He appeared the-very, next evening.
Kitty, of course, scornfully : refused to
see him. ' Mr. and Mrs. Tyler were out,
and Lilian had the pleasure of .his socie
ty all to herself. She was more firmly
convinced than before that he was the
most agreeable man she had ever met,
and this time he said not a word about
sewing-machines. Once or twice in his
calls Kitty met him, but she treated him
with such open scorn, that Lilian was
very glad to have her avoid him. The
wooing sped rapidly. . Before a month
had passed Lilian was engaged to the
sewing-machine agent I Of course she
encountered opposition.. Kitty consid
ered that they were all disgraced by such
a misalliance. Though Lilian .was poor
and a dependent, she might look a little
higher than a sewing-machine t agent,
since she ; was her cousin., Even the
thought which wa consoling that she
would be out of her way, was not tsuili
cieot to restore Kitty's equanimity,
(food Aunty Tyler was mildly dis
tressed. 'Omy dear, it is dreadful to think
that you should throw yourself away in
that manner, when with your beauty
you might, in time, marry a half a
"O aunty dear, when I always had
such a horror of the Mormons! Just as
if one husband wasn't enough for me !"
Lilian would teasingly respond; and
poor aunty would give up in despair.
Uncle Tyler advised her not to marry
him ; when he found that to be of no
avail, he aroused himself to inquire Into
the gentleman's business prospects, re
proaching himself for not having done
it before. He had an interview with
Lockhart, with the result of which he
declared himself perfectly satisfied,
though he preserved a mysterious silence
in regard to the particulars. Lilian fan
cied that there was a peculiar twinkle In
his eye whenever he spoke of her lover.
Did he know more about him than she
herself? It was true that with her lie
was decidedly reticent with regard to his
family, his past life and his prospects.
She was sure that he had no dishonora
ble secret ; her trust in him was abso
lute; yet she would have liked to know
a little more about him.
Kitty was preparing for her visit to
" Lilian, for pity's sake,don"tlet Flor
ence Hilton hear of your engagement,"
said she, imploringly, a few days before
she was to leave. " It would be absolute
ruin to me 1 They are very aristocratic,
you know, and I shall meet her Cousin
Fred, and "
, " Don't be alarmed ! I'll keep my dis
grace to myself," said Lilian.
Just then the postmustcr brought
Kitty another letter from her friend
Florence Hilton, just two months from
the date of the first. This was the way
it ran :
Hf r ,..- 1 t Trt'uniV T jinn 'f iin.lnMnnJ
your letter at all ! There's some strange
mistake Romewhere. r ou say you nave
not met my Cousin Fred, and he says he
not only visits at your house but is en
gaged to your cousin Lilian. I have writ
ten to him tor an explanation, hut pray
write me at once yourself. Can it be that
he lias never told you he was my cous
in ? But if he did not I should think
you must have known; Fred Lockhart
is not a very common name, 1 should
Kitty read as far as that aloud. Then
there was a tableau.
" Fred Lockhart!" she cried. " I sup
posed of course his name was Hilton !
She never called him anything but Fred
It's all a base plot ! O ! O ! O !"
She was about to accuse Lilian of com
pllclty in the "base plot," when one
glance nt her bewildered face showed her
that she was as much surprised as her
self. Kitty had a mild attack of hysterics,
and then resigned herself to the lnevi
" Well, you have entertained an an
gel unawares,' " she said.
How She Fooled Him.
JOHN SANSCMPT'H wife went to
bed Saturday night with her mind
made up to fool the old man the next
day or die in the attempt.' In previous
years she had found John Impervious to
jokes of all kinds, and she realized the
Augean task before her on the morrow,
With her mind full of her self-imposed
task she weut to sleep. At daylight she
awoke and at once began to operate. Her
victim was lying with his back toward
her, apparently in a sound sleep. She
poked him vigorously in the ribs with
her sharp elbow and clawed his shins
with her sharp toe-nails, preparatory to
startling him with a half-whispered
"Johu oh, John there's some one
ringing the door-bell !"
" Lem 'im ring," was the sleepy re
" Hut, John, maybe it's the man on
the next square, who owes you that $100
come ttf pay you."
" No, 'taint, neither," said John, with
a yawn; ,
" But you don't know, and it may be
that veiy man."
v" I . guess not, for he's buried; died last
week. ' Besides old woman, your ears
deceive you. I took the bell-knob off
lust night to fool April foolers."
Heavens, what a mess she made of it
to begin with! But when the old man
. foiled out of bed, yawned, and picked
up his pants, she rammed the sheet in
her mouth to plug up her laughter.
" Oh, jlmmlny, won't he tumble w hen
he puts his foot in them pants and finds
the legs sewed up," she said to herself.
Judge of her rage when the provok
ing brute innocently carried the blocka
dedireeches to the wardrobe and in
quiied: "Nancy, where s them chocolate col
ored pants I had on last week V'
" Tut on the ones you have In your
hands, John ; what's the matter with
"I burst a button off yesterday, and
they need mending in the seat.',
At breakfast she poured out a nice cup
of coffee for him, and sweetened it with
two spoonsful of salt.
"You needn't give me any coffee, he
said; "keep that yourself."
"Why, John, what's the matter ?
This is the first time since we were mar
ried yon refused coflee."
"The blamed stuffhas made me ner
vous, lately ; and as this Is the first of
the month, I thought I'd break off and
only drink It for supper. You keep
When he came home to dinner she
had prepared him a neatly-directed en
velope with a sheet of blank paper In
closed within. lie eyed it suspiciously,
and throwing it into the fire, said :
" I know that handwriting : it's from
that crazy lunatic who wants me to vote
for him to-morrow, Ho much for his
In the evening she disguised herself in
one of her husband's old suits, and came
to the door to beg for charity.
Please give me a nickel to buy some
'Get outkor I'll give you a nickel with
" But, sir, consider; I'm starving."
" The devil you are ! Now, I'll bet you
$50 against the suit of clothes you wear
that you are an Impo'ster."
" But, sir"
" If I were to search you nowlshould-
not be surprised to find you lousy with
wealth. For two cents I would see."
" For heavens' sake "
" Now, none of your soft-soap on me.
I don't believe in beggars. Here, you
policeman, take this infernal imposterto
Just as the "peeler" grabbed the sup
posed beggar by the back of the neck, a
shrill voice yelled :
"John! John! you wouldn't send
your wife to the station-house, would
" The deuce I wouldn't," was the cool
response. "Anybody who lies to me
about my door-bell, sews up my trousers
puts salt in my coflee, writes me anony
mous notes and steals my clothes, ought
to go to penitentiary for life."
" But now did you know"
" If you women wouldn't talk In your
sleep you might keep a secret once in a
Mrs, Sanscript says that hereafter,
when she attempts an Aprli-fool Joke she
will sit up all the night previous.
Why They Lived Single.
There is a romance connected with the
life of Dr. Muhlenberg which it is riot
amiss to briefly relate. It Is said when
quite a young man and a divine, he and
Washington Irving were lth engaged
to be married to two sisters. As the story
goes, the father did not favor Irving'
suit, and his affianced roariied another.
The other sister, tjo whom Dr. Muhlen
berg was affianced, died.
The disappointment to Irving was
great, but contributed to his later succest
in life. The bereavement felt by Dr.
Muhlenberg was also great, and it ap
pears that both resolved never to marry.
They kept their vows. Irving devoted
his life and gave his heart and soul to
the study of literary pursuits. Dr. Muh
lenberg devoted his future to the niiniit
try and the amelioration of the condi
tion of his fellow-man.
It has been ascertained that the beau
tiful, touching and world-renowned
hymn, " I Would not Live Always,"
was written by Dr. Muhlenberg after the
death of the lady be loved, and he pub
lished it as a silent though heartfelt to
ken of remembrance of her many vir
tues. There is reason to believe the story
we have related is true. Certain it is that
a silent grief seemed '-ever to hang over
t-STSome folks when they bury ani
mosity are very carel'ul t put UP a. tomb
stone. ...... .