THE TIMES NEW BLOOM FIELD, PA., MAY 1, 1877.
OUR NEW PIG.
U A PIO t" I exclaimed, In grout at
f tunlHhnient, pnuslng In the act
of helping Nelly to a slice of tbe steak.
We wore at breakfunt.
" Yen, my dear," Bald Mrs. Dobb, " a
pig. W'e could keep one Juat us well as
not, and It would be quite an item of
mtving, when meat la o high."
" Why, Bus-mi, you'd liave to buy food
for It corn and apples, aud I don't
know what ull It would tout more than
U would come to."
" No," jierslHted my wife, " It would
not, J amen. Father always kept a
lg.'
" Hut, he lived In the nountryi"
" Hut that makes no ill I lore nee. I wus
(iilklnu with neighbor Jones about it
over the fence' yeaterday, aud he wild we
llnew away swill enough every day to
keep ten pls."
" 1 (should like to know what Jones
knows about our swill," said I.
" Why, he Judged from his own cxpe
" rlence, James, lie keeps a pig."
' "And while we ure on the aubject,
Kumiii, I'd JuHt take the" opportunity to
nay 1 donotapprove of yourlllrtlng with
' married men over the fence."
'James, d be serious. Flirting, In
deed, with pig and swill for a basis of
conversation. You just want to vex
me."
"Oh, pigs area pretext; anything will
do for u pretext when u woman Is deter
mined to llirt. I knew a woman once
M ho tried to use a portrait of her dead
grandmother as a pretext for a flirtation.
And as for Jones"
" Now, James, you shall not go on In
that, way ; before the chifilren, too? Look
tU Nellie's eyes."
" Perhaps you'll pretend," I contin
ued, "thai Jones didn't bring you a
bunch of Isabellas at the same time "
" Yes, and you ale the best part of
them last evening yourself, fori saved
them for you, and you know Mr. Jones'
grapes are much superior to ours; I'm
mire I'm thankful for all he gives me.
Will you get a pig for me, James, or
won't you V"
"Oh, if you ask it as n favor, Busan,
of course I will. I'll get you anything
that will be a source of pleasure, you
know; lilit if you want a pig for a pet,
don't try to pretend it's for economy's
take."
" A pet!" pouted Susan. "How ridic
ulous you are! I detest pets."
"Then why don't you avoid them,iuy
dear?"
" What are you driving at? I don't
know."
" Why, you are in one, now, Busan.
0c calm. The coffee will get cold."
Mrs. Dobb gave me one despairing
look, and then poured the coffee. Before
I left the house I had promised to see
about getting a pig.
Now, If there Is an eatable animal I
know less about than I do about another
it is the pig. I remembered having seen
pigs alive when I was a boy, but since
I grew up my knowledge of the species
has been confined to the porcine corpses
I have seen suspended from hooks in
the market places, and to certain works
of art in which they had been represent
ednot in la nd sea lies, I may remark ;
o If there had been a market for live
pigs adjoining my studio, I could not
liavo selected an available one from the
lot. I thought nlxiut it a good deal dur
ing the day, und the result of my medi
tations was, on my homeward way in
the afternoon, I made a circuit around
by the residence of Peter Von Popp, a
Dutchman, whom I employed to take
( care of my garden, and to do such other
heavy work as might be necessary about
the house from time to time. On con
sultation I found that Peter was just the
inan for the business. He had a brother
who kept a small farm up In the vicinity
of Bchraalenburg, back of the Pallisades
on the Hudson-, nnd Peier said :
" Next week I goes up to see Hans,
and my wife she goes along, too, so I
tilings you a pig home, Mr. Dobb."
" Good!" said 1. " I'll pay your fare
for your trouble, Peter, besides the price
of the pig. A good one, now ! None of
your snub-nosed, pug-eyed fellows, you
Know a sleek, Intelligent one."
" Yah," said Peter.
A few days later the pig came. I was
Just leaving the house to go down town
when I met Peter with a pig In the bag.
" 1 got him," Teter remarked very
unnecessarily, however, for the pig an
nounced the fact in his own behalf.
Nothing but a pig could have squealed
o.
" Where I put him VI' asked Peter.
"Oh, put him in the-barn," said I.
There is a barn attached to our house,
but there was nothing in it. Animated
by a desire to put the barn to some use
ful purpose, I bought a cow and put her
in there last summer, but she gave no
inilk after the second week, and bo I
old her. I was glad to have another
tenant for the torn.
But Peter shook his head. That
. wouldn't do. A barn was no place for a
lig. I would have to have a pen, he
said.
It would hardly do to let hi in run in
the garden, I suppose," Isnld.muslugly.
' Can you build a ien, Tcter V"
" Yah," Peter said he could, and bo I
sent him off after tools and materials,
having the pig tied to a tree by one leg.
My family gathered about the newcotn-
er, and viewed him with deep interest.
He was,a little fellow, but healthy, as
was proved by the capacity, of his lungs.
" Mercy I" cried Busan, " what a nolso
he makes. He must be hungry , James."
Hunan's experience with babies encour
aged her to this conclusion.
"I know what'U make more noise
than that," said my Fred, with a roguish
twinkle In his eyes.
1 What is it V" I asked to encourage
my son.
" Two pigs," said Fred.
When I came home at night the pig
was fast asleep in his pen on a heap of
straw, and I felt quite a pride in him. I
had secret hopes of my own In regard to
him, though 1 dtd not impart them to
Busan. lie cost only $2 that Is per nr..
The pen cost about $10 more, and Peter's
fare brought the sum total up to $14. Hit.
I watched the growth of oui porker
with a high degree of Interest. The
swill pall always stood by the side of the
wood house door, and, though It was
not an agreeable object In an U'.stlietlo
point of view, I could not for some time
get over ft vexatious kind of curiosity as
to its contents. I found some strange
things In it sometimes viewed us arti
cles of food ; one of Fred's boots, for in
stance, or a pair of scissors, or a tea
spoon. Once when I found a silver fork
in the swill, 1 remonstrated with the
servant girl a stupid German creature,
who had succeeded to our intelligent
Bridget when the latter got married.
" It is not so much that I care for the
silver, Kathrlne," said I, " but I don't
want the porker choked to death in his
prime."
My wife discharged Kathrlne, In an
Impatient moment, soon 'after tills, be
cause the girl threw Into the swill pall
four quarts of rich cream-covered milk
that had been procured with great
trouble from the country, to make a
prize pudding for a dinner party that I
gave to some of my friends. Kathrlne
wiib pure city bred, and had never seen
such looking milk before in her life; she
supposed it spoiled, and into the swill
pail it went.
We had our porker about a month, and
he had grown with marvelous celerity.
The condition of things in my back gar
den occupied a large share of my atten
tion, for though email, it had been liber
ally stocked and diligently cared for,and
there was quite a rivalry between my
neighbor Jones and myself In this mat
ter. Jones boasted of very superior
erudition in these things, and being a
gentleman of leisure he had more time
to look after them than I had, but I
struggled hard not to be distanced. There
was no disputing the point of Jones' Is
abellas being rather ahead of mine, hut
In most respects I felt myself his peer.
September Bhowed our garden rich with
an abundance of tomatoes, cabbages,
onions, beets and so on, while the apple
tree, the two plum trees, and the grape
vines hung heavy with their load.
One day our porker got out of his pen
and went rooting around in the garden
with a tumultuous exercise of his free
dom. Of course those women never saw
him ; it was washing day, I believe. The
havoc he had made by the time I came
home at night was thrilling to witness.
Nobody could tell how long he had been
out, but judging by the devastation I
witnessed he must have been out since
morning. Tennyson's verse in "Maud"
may give a faint indication of my emo
tions as I stood in the hack door that
evening :
"The roots of my bair hava stirred
Aud my pulses cosed their gates with a shock on
my heart."
There was nothing to do now, how
ever, but to put him back in the pen. As
ho had grown, the porker had developed
a very ugly expression of countenance,
and as 1 lookod at him now with his
tusks, protruding in a villainous way, I
confess it was not a cheerful sight for a
timid man. However, I got a big stick
and went at him with loud 'shoos'' and
extravagant flouriBhings of my weapon
He eyed me quietly out of his vicious
little optics, and whisked his tail defiant
ly. I soon found there was no driving
him back to the pen. He dodged me in
the most exasperating manner. He
doubled and twisted in a way to set at
naugnt ail my calculations. I was no
match for him. Jones came out while I
was exercising the porker, and laughed
at me over the fence.
" You don't go at it the right way,
Dobb," said he.
" Perhaps you'd like to try It yourself.
Mr. Jones," I said with some dignity
and a very red face.
" Take him by tbe tail," said Jones
calmly, in reply. Get his nose aimed
toward the pen, and then pull his tail
The more you pull one way the more
he'll pull the other, aud he'll be in the
lien before you know It."
Busan, who was standing on the back
steps looking at me, laughed bo heartily
at this that I felt quite good humored
again, and asked Jones to come over and
give us the benefit of his superior wis
dom. After a little banter, and the
handing of a cluster of Isabellas to Bu
san, he cllmlied the fence.
Now, Dobb," said Jones, 'we'll
form a line you aud I, and Mrs. Dobb
and the servant girl."
I beg to be excused, Mr. Jones,"
laughed Busan , with a timid glance at
the porker.
" My dear madam," said Jones, gal
lantly, " there no danger at all. I am
quite in earnest, I assure you. It is a
pig's nature to yield to overwhelming
numbers. We have only to form a line
and close down upon him In a sort of
cresent, and he will give up the struggle
at once, as you will see."
Bo It was undertaken. Peter stood by
the fence, eyeing us with a deep expres
sion of Interest. We moved down upon
him ; he wheeled about, snorted, and
then made a dive at us, or rather at me,
and, whlsh ! he went right between my
legs so that I sprawled out on the ground
most ungracefully. Busan and the ser
vant girl ran screaming Into the house,
aud Jones wus over the fence in no
time.
The result of It was we sent for Peter.
It had now grown dark, but Peter made
short work of the Job. He got a rope
and took hi his other hand the big stick
I had been flourishing ; then he went up
to the porker, fetched htm one tremend
ous blow over the proboscis and while
poor piggy was staggering and seeing a
million of stars, slipped the rope over
one of Ills hind legs, and had him Into
the pen In a trice.
" Peter," enld I, after that, " you may
come round to-morrow, If you are not
engaged, and gather up what'B left of tho
vegetables."
He did so. There was a good deal left
after ull. Porker's havoc was greater in
appearance, than in reality. Peter stored
the cellar with abundance among other
things, with a nice lot of superior
bcuns In the soft pods, which lay there
till they got very mouldy, and were lit
for nothing but swill.
I remember, as if it were but yester
day, the morning thoso beans were fed
to our pig. I was going out of town to
be gone three days on business of Impor
tance. I saw a supply of the mouldy
beans fed to the porker, and then I de
parted. To say that I did not think of
my pig while I was away, would be to
state an untruth. I did think of him.
Though lost to sight he was to memory-
dear.
I am seldom away from home, and
consequently I am missed when I am
away and my welcome on returning is
wont to bo of the most affectionate de
scription. But on this occasion, greatly
to my surprise, Busan was not in the
front hall to greet me. I waded through
the children Into the back part of the
house, where Busan was. I fancied she
looked at me with a half frightened air,
but I took her fondly to my arms, and
was about imprinting a rapturous kiss
on her lips, when my eye chanced to go
out of the window, and I suspended the
kiss midway of delivery. The door of
the pig pen stood wide open, and there
was a peculiar aspect of desolation about
it.
" Where's our porker r" I asked, post
poning the kiss pro tempore.
" Our porker," said Mrs. Dobb,graveIy
Is in his grave."
"Good Heavens 1" I cried, "dead!"
and Immediately went out to look at his
deserted abode.
I was quite calm by dinner time, and
informed Busan that I was ready to hear
the particulars of the sad event.
" Well, James, she commenced,
"you know you directed those beans to
be fed to him?"
" That's it. I thought it would be laid
at my door in ome manner, notwith
standing the little circumstance that I
was over two hundred miles away. Well
proceed."
" So the girl gave him beans for din
ner, and beans for supper, and the next
morning she went out with some more,
and then I heard her scream. I went
out and there he was swelled up oh,
dreadfully twice as large as life, dear
and lying on his side and kioklng his
legs faintly. Neighbor Jones looked the
over fence and asked what the matter
was "
"With a bunch of Isabellas doubt
less."
"And when we told him he came
over to see the pig, and said pooh I he
wasn't dead ; that he knew what was
the matter with tbe pig; bloated stomach;
ho could cure him. 'Have you any
brandy V" said he. I told him we had,
and came Into the house and got a
bottle."
"What! that B. O. P. brandy V" I
exclaimed.
" Yes, dear, of course."
" Good gracious ! And you gave that
fifteen dollar brandy to that miserable
two dollar pig "
" Yes, dear ; but it did no good. Then
neighbor Jones bled him "'
"The savage!" ,
" And that did no good, either. Bo at
last we gave it up, and neighbor Jones
bad his man bury it in the garden."
" Mrs. Dobb." I urUw!. " ilo vou mean
to toll me that you have burled the dead
hog In our garden."
" No, dear In Mr. Jones' garden."
A sudden Idea crossed my mind.
"Well, upon my word I" I responded.
It socms we are not even to have the
banofltof the carcass as a fertiliser of tbe
soil. This caps the climax."
"What do you mean, James V"
"Why. Busan. don't you know that
dead animals enrich the soil where they
are burled. In decomnoslinr and lunntv.
- ' i tj
lug ammonia and phosphoric acid and
Things mat make the vegetable grow
bl
ir
in.,,.,.,
how can you
talk such
stuffy"
"Htulf I Not a bit of It. Jones knows
all about It. Thai's the way ho fertilizes
his garden. He's got a dead dog and
three dead cats burled at the fool? of his
grapo vines which accounts for tho
superiority of the Isabellas, my dear."
"Mr. Dobb, If you don't ston I shall
leave tho fable." said Busan, In great
disgust.
Bo I stopped like a dutiful husband.
But Busan hasn't eaten a grope from
JoneB garden since.
We have had the tilir neii cleaned un
nicely for the children, and they use it
for a play house. It makes a very good
play house.
Coincidences of the St. Louis Flro.
A Bt. Louis special tells the following:
In the despatches, it was stated that a
man employed at Kchnalder's garden
picked up on the premises there two
pieces of sheet music, partly burned,
wlihjh evidently had been wafted thither
by the wind from the doomed Bouthern,
the words that could be deciphered be
ing the following :
Thy boasted towers In smoky ruins llo,
roiu tins uuum scene, an, wuutier shall we fly I
The curious adaptability of the lines
tothocondltlonoftho.se suffering the
agonies of death from fire when the
sheets were taken upon the healed winds
has attracted general remark.
Another case was brought to the
notice of your correspondent which
adds one more to the list of curious
coincidences, and it is connected wild
the one Just mentioned. About the
time of the discovery of the sheets of
music in Kchnalder's garden, Mr. M. N.
Burchard, of the firm of Cheevcr,
Burehard & Co., who lives on Shaw
avenue, west of Grand avenue, three
and a half miles from the scene of tho
fire, found in his yard a piece of sheet
music much scorched and defuced, upon
which tho following words were dis
tinguishable: "I pray this terrible
night." Mr. Burchard's residence is
more than a mile from Bclmulder's gar
den, but the quotation from the paper
he found Is a part of the words of the
musie before noted.
A Pleasanter if not a Better Job.
One of the Methodist ministers of
Ilochester was, a few days ago, ' call ed
upon by a German and requested to con
duct the funeral services over his wife,
who had just died. Brother L
with his usual urbanity, consented of
course, and the services were held with
due decorum and solemnity. After the
funeral was over, the forlorn widower
stepped up to the minister and the fol
lowing dialogue ensued :
German "Veil, Mr. L , how
much you charge for burying my wlfeV"
Preacher ''Oh ! I do not charge any
thing for attending funerals."
Oerman (smiling significantly) "Veil,
now, this is fery kind uv you. But
shtop a minute. In a few days I give
you a better job than dot."
Preacher "Why, what may that be?"
German "Oh I ferry much better job
than dot, I he's going to get married
again."
Two Crazy Lovers.
John Kennedy, who is demented, was
taken to Keokuk, Iowa, Wednesday
night a week, and lodged in jail. While
in the employ of David Robinson, near
Belfast, in that state, Kennedy fell in
love with the former's wife. His love
was reciprocated, and the two made
arrangements to leave the state together,
While crossing the Des Moines river in
a skiff on their flight, a few days ago,
the women was seized with a sudden
delirium, and is now hopelessly Insane,
On being separated from Mrs. Robinson
Kennedy also went crazy, and after
repeated but unsuccessful attempts to
gain access to the house where the wo
man is being cared for, he took an axe
and deliberately chopped off his left
hand. Both Kennedy and the woman
will probably be sent to tbe asylum,
Neither had shown any indication of
Insanity previous to their attempted
flight. -
O" A Louisiana paper says that in
that State horse stealing is managed as
follows : "The owner of a horse makes
a bargain with the theif to take the
horse to Ibervilhj or Baton Rouge and
sell him. The thief brings the owner
half the money, and tells the name of
the purchaser. Then the owner
goes and reclaims the horse as having
been stolen."
TO ILL 1'AKTICULAItLT INVALIDS,
spring Is a trying. season, tndleatlmisolslcknesa
."..urn m en ie aunlH( to. Patal diseases
niftV lift Caused bv allnwlltir tba hAMli In Hahum.
oonslliated and the system to remain In a dlsor.
dent condition, until the disorder has time to de
velop imm. an outwent prevention Is world
-,,.,, , !:!,, mi iniinnn triiutiuisnving. mare.
'or, WS advise all Who are triiiiltieri u'llli ilia num.
plaints now prevalent haadaahii, Indigestion
disordered liver, want of appetite, nausea, or
feverish skin, to tske. without delay. Hihenck'i
Mandrake I ills. We know of no remedy so harm,
less and decisive In Us action. It nt once strikes
at the root of the disease nnd produce a healthy .
tone to the system. People. neer need suffer from
any disease arising from a disordered condition
of the liver If they would lake this excellent med.
folne when Ihey feel the Hist Inclinations of the
niaiany. rainines leaving nome lor the summer
months should take three or four botes of. these
pills with them They have an almost Instanta
neous elfect. They will relieve the patient of
headache In one or two hours, and will raiildly
cleanse the liver of surrounding I He, and will
effectually prevent a billions attack. They are
aold by all druggists. May 1m
VEGETI N E
Ho Says it is True. ,
. Honeca Falls. Nov. 9. 1S75.
Mr. II, H. Ntevensi Dour sir Am mi ri ...
?,lH.l,t.rilJ!"i"t,,!n'"'! w""t yon to know what
V KU K 1 1 N K Ims done forum. Only those who
in. a wr-fTi. mwu IMIIII IJCHI II H QOOr CBn KIIOW the
value of sui'li a Kood medicine. J am Ml years of
bub. 'IhrenyearsaKO 1 was taken sick with what
lh doctors called J,iimliHgi. Fi r weeks I was
confined to my lied. I had three different physi
cians, without any help. I reoelved no reliefs I
was a great sufferer i finally I b-came entirely
helpless. 1 he last doctor told me there was no
help: he said he might possibly save my llfehy
ejecting morphine In my ai ms and It-is. Theeu-courageim-nt
for saving inv lll hy having this
done was so small a clmnre I could riot consent to
run the rl-k. About this time inv son read your
advertisement In our paper, a testimony of a per
son who had lieen very sick with about the same
Complaint, aud ras cured. Mv son went rlilit
awav to the apothecary st ire atid bought a bottle
it v r.u tv 1 1 is p., iifiore i nan used the llr-t bot
le I tumid meat, relief i I could move mvselt In
bed. Afleriaklngthree bottles I was able to sit
tip and move about mv room. I continued Inking
the Veectlne. and I was In a few weeks restored
to my former health. The Vegetlne saved my life
afier the physicians said there wus no help for
mib i nave nan no minor since, n 1 leei unwell
I lake a dove of Vegiliie,and 1 recommend it to
mv menus.
Vour VeKetlne ouirht to be In evcrvfnmllv. Mv
doctor was surprised to see me In nood health
lie savs Veaotine Is a nood mi-dlclun. I tell him
It cured me. Jin says, " It is true." I cannot feel
too thankful. Vei v arntefully yours,
Mrs. ; 'i H'uHlNK t'OONB.
rscneca iruns, Hence comity, N. x.
VEGETINE.
AU, niSHAHHfs 01? TltK BLOOD. If Vend Inn
will relieve ualn. oleansa. niirilv und nnra anch
diseases restoriiK the lialieiii to perfect health
after tryltiK dlirereiit. physicians, many remedies.
sulleriiiK for year. Is it not conclusive proof, if
you are a sufferer, you can m cure I f Why Is
tills medicine perrormluu such great cures t It
works In the b ood. In the circulating fluid. It
can truly be called the Orent lliimd fvrtflrr The
Steal source ol diHt-ase oiiKiualHS In the blood i
and no inedioine that does not act directly upon
It, to piirify.aud renovate, has any justolalm up
on public attention.
VEGETINE.
WILLCUKE
CANKER HUMOR.
Kockpoht. March Si. 1R7A.
II. B.flTBTSNS :
B r l.st fall mr husband cot two bottles of
your Vegetine to take for the Canker Humor,
wnicn i nave naa in mysiomacn ior several years,
I took It and the result was very satisfactory. I
nave taxen a good many reoieuies lor tne i;nnner
Humor. and none seemed to lielo me but Veffe
tine. 1 here Is no doubt in my mind that every
one suffering with Canker Humor can be cured
by taking Vegetine. It gave me a good appetite,
ana i icit better in every resiect.
xours. wiin respeci.
Mrs. E1JZA ANN FOOLK.
VEGETINE.
'NOTHING ICQ UAL TO IT.
fionrs Hii.ew. Mass.. Nov. 1. 1S76.
Ms. II. B. Btbvehs :
ix-ar Hlr 1 have been troubled with Scrofula,
Canker and Liver Complaint for three years.
Nothing ever did me any good until I commenced
using VKOK.TINK. I am now g tting along tlrst
rate.and still using the Vegetine. I consider there
Is notliineciial to It for such complaint.. Can
heartily recommend It toeverybudy.
xours truly, Mrs. i.izzia m. rAfHiHo,
No. 16 Lagrange bl., ttoiuh Salem, Mass
VEOETINK thoroughlv eradicates every kind
of humor, aud restores the entire system to a
healthy condition.
VEGETINE.
Prepared by H.R.Stevens; Boston,Mass.
Tegetine Is Hold by All Druggists.
JEATHER C.
THE subscriber has now on band at
LOW PRICES.
Good Sole Leather,
Kip of Superior Quality,
Country Calf Skins,
French Calf,
LININGS, ROANS, &C;
F, Mortimer,
NEW BLOOMFIELD, TX.
N
OW IS THE TIME TO PLANT.
IT TAYS
To plant FRUIT THEES and GRAPE VINES.
They wiliyield SO per cent. moYe profit tuns than
ordinary crops, and pay Icr themselves tho Ural
year they bear.
IT DON'T FAY
To plant poor, dried-out stock, broneht from a
long distance and sold by an Irresponsible agent,
whose only interest la to buy aa clieap ashecaa,
regardless ol quality or condition. Y on a
GET THE BEST
GUARANTEED STOCK, at bottom prieea, freak
and vigorous, by sending or coming direct to
RIVERSIDE NURSERIES,
hjlrkisbcro, rx.
. Circulars Free.
GEO. f.McKAKLANU, Proprietor. 14
JOB PRINTING of every description eatly
executed on strait uotlce a ad at reaaouatii
rate at tali ofitce.
)