VOL. XI.
THE TIMES.
An Independent Family Newspnper,
IS PUBLISHED EVEnT TUESDAY BT
F. MORTIMER & (X)!
Subscription Price.
Within the County '. fl 25
" " " Mx month 7
Out ef the County, Incliulhi; yustage. 150
" . " " six mouths " 85
Invariably In Advance I
S-Advertising rates furnished upon appli
cation. elett Pocti'v.
IT IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS WHY.
Would you like to know the secrets
Of your neighbor's house and life?
How he lives or how he dosen't,
And J lift how hu treats his wife t
How he spends his time of leisure,
Whether sorrowful or gay,
And where he goes for pleasure,
To the concert or the play t
If you wish It, I will tell you
Let me whisper to you sly
If your neighbor Is but civil
It is not your business why.
In short, Instead of prying
Into other men's affairs,
If you do your own but justice,
Ton will hare do time for thelr's.
Be attentive to such matters
As concerns yourself alone,
And whatever fortune flatters,
Let yonr business be your own.
One word by way of finish,
Let me whisper to you sly
If you wish to be respected,
You must cease to be a pry.
ANGELS TURNED TO CLAY.
it
XT ELL, the formalities were duly
lfll
YY
dispensed with,and I find my.
nelf invested with the property of my late
respected uncle all regular. And now,
if I choose, I can set up an establish
ment, and keep it up in good style.
But I never fancied a bachelor's hall,
and where is the pretty Beatrice to make
me a Benedict V"
So ran George Herbert's soliloquy as
he walked home from his office one
evening, soon after he had became the
' heir of his uncle.'
" I declare," he continued, as he set
tled into a solitary corner in a half
empty car, " I would marry at once if I
could find a genuine girl. But how can
a fellow trust these beflounce and be
flummeried doll babies whom ho never
sets any other way. If I could only
catch some of them out of 'company at
tire,' and know just what they are at
home wonder if I couldn't? I believe
I have a plan for it ! Ill think a night
on it, and who knows what may 'hap
pen "
What did happen was that Mr.
George set out at a very unfashionable
hour next morning to call upon some of
his friends.
It was so early an hour that he knew
they would not be expecting him or
ready to receive him, and that was just
what he wanted.
Ilis first call was upon Miss Lulu
Granger, where only the night before he
had spent so delightful an evening, ad
miring Miss Lulu's faultless toilet and
soft sweet voice until a late hour.
A servant who was sweeping the front
Bteps told him Miss Granger was in, and
as the door stood open, George stepped
unceremoniously in, too, and walked
into the front parlor.
The heavy curtains were drawn, mak
ing the elegant room somewhat dark,
but the back parlor was wide open and
George saw a vision.
Miss Lulu, her hair twisted upon the
top of her head about the size and shape
of a peeled onion, her fair forehead
adorned with several little paper horns,
her pretty person arrayed in a soiled
frayed wrapper, without belt or collar,
and her pretty feet in slippers decidedly
shocking, was tossing over some shining
silks, in consultation ith a plain little
body, whom George guessed at once to
be her dressmaker.
Their backs were partly towards him,
and quickly turning, George beat a
hasty retreat, saying to himself as he
ran down the steps
" The Fates portend I Iflhadtollve
with a sloven, I should run a way !
NEW 13LOOMlI15L13, IP.A.., TUESDAY, MAY 1 , 1877.
Farewell, Miss Lulu I I'll go to Belle
Dorsey's."
At Dorsey's the door was ajar, but
George was about ringing the bell
when a sound of voices within arrested
him.
It was Belle herself, vociferously
scolding a little sister, and George heard
the sound of a smart slnp, followed by a
child's Bobbing, nnd the words, in Belle's
own tone
u There, you meddlesome little pest,
take that! I'll tench you to let my
things alone, if I break your miserable
little neck for it!'
George did not ring, but beat a retreat
even quicker that he had from Miss
Granger's, saying to himself
" Cupid save us I A scold is worse
than a sloven 1 I should take to drink
if I had to live with her!, I believe I'll
try Miss Baldwin next."
Just as he reached Miss Baldwin's
door, her little seven year old brother
came bounding out,ready for school,and
George asked him if his sister Josie was
in.
" I suppose you're Josie's young man,
ain't you ?" said the boy. "Lord, yes
she's in. She's in bed, and will be these
five hours. Josie never gets up till din
ner time. Mother scolds her for layin'
abed to read them French books o'
hers, but it won't do no good. Maybe
though if I tell her you are here, she'll
get up. Shall IV"
" No, I'll call again. You needn't say
I was here, and there's a shilling to buy
some sweet cakes with."
And as George walked away he burst
into a laugh, saying:
" Bless me, but this gets Interesting.
Three angels tumbled to clay in one
morning, and it is not half gone either.
Farewell, Miss Lulu. Good-bye, Miss
Belle. Bleasant dreams! Miss Josie.
Now, I'll make one more call on Nettie
Hayes, and if she turns out a fright or a
fury, or a lounger, I'll go home and bo
an old bachelor to the end of my days.
So hear me, oh ye gods and fishes
Cuped Hymen into the bargain."
With which ferocious oath George
bent his steps to the Hayes dwelling and
rang the bell.
He rang twice, but no answer came,
and then he knocked, still without suc
cess. " Nobody at home," was his verdict
at last, when he turned to go, the notes
of a song floated to his ear.
He paused to listeu.
It was the voice of Nettie Hayes, for
he had heard her sing the same song
often, and it seemed to come from the
back part of the house.
" I'm determined to 6ee her," quoth
George. '
With valiant ardor he followed the
sound, till it led him to a long latticed
porch behind the houseT He mounted
the steps and beheld Nettie Hayes in a
calico dress, and a white apron, her pret
ty hair falling in a simple, close knot,
her sleeves pinned back from her pretty
round arms, her soft hands flying busily
and her sweet voice singing merrily,
over a huge ironing table, ' with a well
filled clothes basket beside her.
"Good morning, Miss Nettie," said
George close beside her, with his hat
lifted. ' .
Nettie started and nearly dropped her
Iron. . .
"Why, Mr. Herbert, did you drop
from the clouds " she asked, blushing
and smiling in pretty confusion.
" No, I came the legitimate way, by
the front door, but neither ring nor
knock could rouse you, so I took the
liberty of coming round."
" I could not hear the bell," said Net
tie, and you might have knocked a half
a day without one hearing it. Our girl
is Bick, and ma and I have the work to
do for a day or so till she gets better, so
I'm helping with the Ironing to-day ,you
see. Come in the house Mr. Herbert,
and IH make myself as entertaining as
I can." '
" You could not be more so than you
are ! " cried George, ardently. " But do
not tempt me to come in, for I would be
sure to interrupt your work too long.
I came to very early, just to ask if you
would like to attend Patti's last concert
to-night V There is a very attractive
programme, and I should like to enjoy
it with you. W1U you go V" ,(
" With great pleasure," replied Net
tiu. " I was wishing this . morning to
go, but did think I could, because papa
is out of town,atid I could not go alone."
" Then I am doubly glad I thought of
it," returned George. " I will call early
so that we can secure good seats. And
now I wish you good morning, Miss
Nettie, and will not interrupt you any
longer."
Declining her second invitation into
the house, George touched his hat and
hurried away with u very light heart.
" 1'ure gold found once," he mused, as
he walked in the direction of IiIr office.
Bweet, neat and industrious. Pretty as
a pink, I always thought.
" A lady every inch, and a good little
girl, not afraid or ashamed to be seen at
work, as I have just found out. What
more can a man 'ask? He needs no
more, I'm sure, so, Miss Nettle Hayes,
if you don't become the mistress of the
handsome mansion in Beigravia, it will
not be for the want of asking, I'll war
rant." Whether the ' asking was done as
they went to or came from the concert
that night, I can't say, as I did not go,
but if not then it was soon after, for in
three months there was a wedding, and
pretty Nettle became Mrs. Herbert.
Miss Lulu, Miss Dorsey and Miss
Baldwin were all invited,and were there,
lovely as angels, though they did won
der at George Herbert's bad taste in
taking that baby-faced little girl, when
he might have had any of them for the
asking.
And George never explained why he
made the choice he did.
A DAUGHTER'S LOVE.
IN THE hour of punishment, love al
ways has a last effort to make for
1m man blame. And that is often its
happiest effort ; for affection may save
at the last those who have, been brought
to repentance for sin only by sin's bit
ter results.
About forty years ago, an elderly
man living in Western Connecticut,
who had sadly reduced his estate by
habits of intemperance, found himself
threatened with an execution for debt
which would deprive him of his old
home, and leave him in friendless pov
erty. His daughters, with one excep
tion, had grown and gone away, the one
remaining at home being an Invalid, and
his wife also quite Infirm. That his
needy but loving family, who bad often
pleaded with him to cease his Indulgence
'in strong drink, must be turned out of
doors, was a prospect cruel In the ex
treme ; and the thought that he alone
was to blame added remorse to the sor
row that sobered him now.
There was a mortgage of eleven hun
dred dollars on his place, and the holder
wanted his money and would not wait.
In vain the aged debtor had begged for
a little extension of time. The creditor
had no sympathy for a borrower who
made and kept himself poor by his own
vices.
On the morning of the day when the
mortgage was to be foreclosed, the un
happy old man, unbeknown to his fam
ily, to whom he had never told the des
perate state of his affairs, called at the
office of the lawyer who had the business
in charge, and made one more pitiful
appeal. But nothing could be done for
him, and, certain at last that the threat
ened blow must fall, he . sank into a
chair, completely overcome. The law
yer, who could not help feeling some
passion for his misery, did not disturb
him, and he sat there two hours like one
stunned. At the end of that time a
carriage drove hastily to the door, and, a
moment after, a lady entered the office.
She stopped and gazed tenderly at the
old man, who still sat , with his face
burled in his hands. -.
"Father!"
The old maii suddenly raised his
head. It was a long-absent daughter,
returned to him In his distress. "Oh,
Margaret, you have found me in a sad
time. Everything looks dark. Your
poor mother and sister will be turned
out of doors. I can't go and tell them
I "
" There, there, father, hear me now,"
said the lady, the tears gathering in her
eyes. "Do you think you could live
the rest of your life a temperate man if
this mortgage was paid off, and you had
your home again V" , ' . ,
" Oh, yes, I could, and I would if it
would do any good, but
"Ihen sign, the pledge, father. I
have it here, and the money, too."
The delighted old mmi at once put
his name to the pledge, his debt was
paid, and his daughter accompanied
htm back to the old home she had re
deemed. It was the happiest day of his
life, for It was the day of his reforma
tion. Murgaret was herself poor, but she
had saved the eleven hundred dollars
out of Iter own earnings while working
in a mill, and, hearing somehow of her
father's extremity, she gave It ail as an
offering of filial and Christian love.
Why They Suddenly Lost Interest.
DUItlNG the last cold snap a party
of pedro players, in Grass Valley
California, suddenly lost all interest in
the game. The stove in the room was
warm and everything was comfortably,
and the players were even somewhat
hilarious, when the game suddenly came
to an end. The first man to quit held a
" bully" hand and had the pitch. He
was sure of making fifteen points, nnd
yet he put down the hand without play
ing and walked out of the front door;
the others all followed him. None of
them stopped to take "what was coming
on the last round." The cause of It was
this : Among theIayers was a mining
man , and before he took a seat he de
posited several round packages under
the stove During the game he would
occasionally get up and turn those pack
ages over.
He seemed to want them to bake reg
ularly on all Bides. His getting up so
often somewhat interrupted the game,
for no man can serve two masters. One
of the players remonstrated at theso in
terruptions, and remarked :
" Bee here, Uncle John, attend to the
game, and let them things under the
stove alone ; what have you got there,
anyhow, that takes up so much time V"
The old man only remarked :
" I want to thaw out them giant
powder cartridges agin mornin' so's
they'll be rea "
But the crowd didn't wait for the bal
ance of the explanation. Uncle John
then proceeded to roast his cartridges all
by himself, and was no longer bothered
by company or any side remarks. He
uttered something about some people
being " so darn scary at nothing." '
A PUZZLED TEACHER.
SHE was at one of tho union school
houses half an hour before school
opened. She had "Linda" with her. Bhe
was a tall woman, forty years old,wlth a
jaw showing great determination, and
" Linda" was sixteen, and rather shy
and pretty good looking. The mother
said site hadn't been in the city long and
that it was her duty to get Linda into
school and see that she was properly ed
ucated. When the teacher came she
boldly inquired :
" You know enough . to teach, do
you?"
"I think I do," replied tho teacher
blushing deeply.
"Andyoti feel competent to govern
the scholars, do you V"
" Yes'm."
" Do you pound 'em with u ferrule, or
lick 'em with a whip? "
" We seldom resort to punishment
here," replied the embarrassed teacher.
"That '8 better yet," continued the
mother. " I know that if Linda should
come home all pounded up I'd feel like
killing some one, I suppose you are of a
respectable character, ain't you V"
" Why ahem why " stammered the
teacher, growing white and red.
" I expect you are," continued the wo
man. " It's well enough to. know who
our children are associated with."
" Now, then, do you aliow the boys
and girls to sit together ?"
" No, ma'am."
" That's right. They never used to
when I was young, and I don't think
Linda is any better than I am. Another
thing, do you allow any winking ?"
" Any what 1"' exokiimed the puzzled
teacher.
" Do you allow a boy to wink at agirlV
asked the woman.
"Why, no!"
" I was afraid you did. Linda is as shy
as a bird, and if She should come home
some night and tell me that she had been
winked at, I don't knqwj what I'd do,
Now, auuther thing dg j-you have a
beau?" . 1;f.i,,
" Why who V was tha.bijimuicrVd
repiy.
NO. 18.
" I think you do P replied the woman
severely. " I know Just how it works.'
When you should be explaining what an
archipelago is you ore thinking of your
Klcluird, and your mind is away, way
off!"
" But, niailam "
' Never mind any explanations," In
terrupted the woman. "I want Llndik
brought up to know joggerfyj figures,
writing and sjiellography, and if you've
got a beau nndarespooklngto the theatre
one night, a candy-pull the next,a horse
race the next, and so on,your mind can't
be on education. Come, Linda, we'll go
to some other school-house."
A Novel Bridal Trip.
RATHER an unique station-house
item is thus reported by the Jersey
City Journal : Last night a neatly attlr-'
ed young lady stood up at the Sergeant's
desk in Oakland avenue station and ask
ed forlodging. jThe Sergeant put up his
pen, pushed back the ledger, hung his
cap on the oilier peg, took the telegraph
box, wound up the clock, told Uncle
Ben to put on some wood and stop the
fire, and as if remembering something,
looked at the young lady and said: "You
wlsh-i1"
" Lodging if you please 6lr."
" Oh, yes, excuse me."
Then the Sergeant put the usual ques
tions of nativity i uge, married or single,
read or write, place of birth, trade it
was all printed and he must fill the
blanks and the neatest and best cell
the tombs could afford was nervously
placed at the pretty visitor's disposal.
Nothing further was heard from the free
lodger until just at day-break next
morning, when iter fair face appeared
again at the Sergeant's desk.
"Can I see my husband now.pleasel"'
she said.
" Certainly, madam," was the polite
reply, and for thrive minutes thespooklsh
silence of the early morn was unbroken-.
" Well, won't you please call him up
for me V she suid, trying to bore a hole
through the floor with the heel of her
right foot, " he came in just after I did
last night-"
" Oh, your husband is here also, Is he?
What is his name ?"
" I've forgotten what mime he told me
he would give. It wusn'this right name;
but he is here."
And the Sergeant went to the door of
the men's lodge and called out for
the husband of the young wife. The
seventeen lodgers raised up on their
elbowB as one man, but neither came to
claim the lady.
" Guess he isn't here," said the Ser
geant, returning to the efllce. '
The girl insisted that he was,and would
not be satisfied until the seventeen tired
travelers were made to come out and
stand in a row for her Inspection.
She ran her glances down the line and
began to cry. Pauses here and there in
the flood of tears gradually let out the
whole secret. Bhe had been married at
noon yesterday, a New York justice re
ceiving the combined wealth of the pair
for his official service, and the young
bride and groom had started on their
wedding tour on foot. In Kahway they
hud well-to-do friends, who would make
them welcome, but the journey was too
long a one for a night, and the pair had
concluded to stop over, under assumed
names, in some police station. Oakland
Tombs was. the oneselested.
The sobs and the story had thus far
progressed when the street door hurried
ly opened, and a young man, who had
declined the lodger' accommodations
when shown him the evening before,
hurriedly entered and said : " I was
just outside waiting." The young bride
stopped crying, loth politely thanked
the sergeant, and with faces wreathed in
smiles the happy pair w alked lightly
away.
She Didn't Stand Up.
.
At one of the Detroit churches where
a revival is in progress the clergyman
asked those wh wanted to be prayed
for to stand up. Quite a number rose to.
their feet, and after nervlces were closed
one lady was heard asking another at
the door :
" Why didn't you stand up 1"'
" Oh, I didn't want to," was the re
ply. " Why, you are a very foolish woman.
I wouldn't have mltised the opportunity
lor anywnng.
"opportunity for what r"
" wny, tor standing up there ana
showing off your seul-bkin sacque!
There wasn't another one iu the wnultt
church I'