THE TIMES,- NEW BLOOMFIELB, PA., MA11CH20, 1877.
REDUCTION IN PRICE 1
Cheapest and Best!
THE HAMUSlHJim
Daily and Weekly Patriot '
FOR 1877.
To ll urir ftiitwcrllwrfl nd to ait present ulmeribm
TnpwiiiK Uiclr nutmcriittiuuii
THE DAILY PATRIOT,
WU1 pnt at th following rat :
I copy, 1 yor, iohuk itrupalU t7.n
8ooiIi. On club). " " J2
& " t?.h
to " " " W oe
1 cntijr durliifr th nnwicm of tho IwlUtiirtt a.oo
1 copy, I year, tnd I ropy. 1 yw. of rittwr Hah.
i'KHrdMoNtHLtor Habi-ku'i Uakah, IHMtAKtt
paid on both. "3
THE WEEKLY PATRIOT
Will bft flnt at the following rat ;
1 copy, 1 year, otaK prepaid , 9300
4oopfen1 " ' WOO
lu " " " lo.oo
15 ' " '
and t ropy to (fPttr-npof chib.... 1R.00
25 cnniwi, i year pimtiure piTpuld,
aud 1 copy tofrettfir.upof club , 28.(10
I ropy, ouo your, and ona copy, one year, of
elthtur Harpkii'i Monthly or Haiiprh'h Ba
zar, poNtAKe pr-epHid ou both , $4 0
The suoHcrlptinn price of Hnrprr'a Monthly and
'Harper'H Bazar tn 44.08 each, time nertiriwc a mihw;rl.
Ix-racopyof the V kkklv Patiuot for 60 cent in ml
ditloii to what he would hate to pay for either of IUr
Iht'b publications.
All ordera luunt be art'nnipunit'd by the cah, either
by check or powt-olhce nrdrv.
Now i the timetomibm'ribe. Oct all the news and
the beet read inn1 matter at lew cost than auy where clue
by sending; your sulytiptiona to the Daily aud
Vk kkkly rATmoT. Addn-tm,
PATRIOT VUBLTXm&a CO..
Lit HAUttlHltyitU. 1A.
LIPPINCOTT'S MAGAZINE.
AN ILLUSTRATED MONTHLY OK
Popular Literature and Science.
ANNOUNCEMENT FOR 1877
The number for Jannnry beiHn- the nineteenth vol.
nine of thinMitir:i,inc. und while ir punt record will, ft
i honed, be deemed a mitNVient miarantee of inture
vellence, no ert'ortH will be h pared to diversify Its
attractinuH and to provide an imreaed nupply of
Popular Heading in thn H"t and Most KmphnUc
Sense
The urent objeet nnd contdnnt aim of the conductor
will be to fiiriuwh the public with hetemture KnUTtuin
inent of a Henued and Varied iJhtn'iii-tei-, uh weil hh to
present in n graphic and Ntrikitur manner tlie niont re-
cent iuformution and H-mndent view on HubJec.tH-of
Uiioral Intercut, in a word, to render Lippmuoft'H
Mawazine Htrikltwly dintinetivf in
Those features thut or? Moxt Attraetiw in Mag
azine Literature,
In addition to the General Attraction of Uppin
'iilt8 Muiftiziiit'the I'nbliwiiurH would Invite uttcntiim
toa new tturial story,
The Marquis of Lossio,"
iiy Oeotve McDonald author of "MaliMtln," "Alice
1'orbi-s," "llohert I'ule.oner, 'Vte,
TKHMS.Veariy Subscription, $1 ; Rln-rle number,
:!S rente.
NOTICE. The November and iJeeember Numbers,
containing the eiirlirr chapters of "The Marquis of
l.oeafi'," will bo presented to nil new annual sulHcriberH
for 1H77.
KPKOIM FN NT'MBnn mailed poHtaRe paid, to any
uddresH, un receipt of 20 cents.
9. IJ. LIPPINCOTT & CO., Publisher,
718 anrf "17 Market St., J'hUnilclpMa.
gALL SCALES. "
LB. MARYANEUTIT, I). W. DEKR and
JAMES II. GKIlilt knouuas
The Ball Scale Company,"
liiivo now on hand a large suiidIv of Buoy's Patent
COUNTER SCALE, the Simplest, Cheap,
est and best Connter Scaleln the marknt.
W For Scales, or Agencies In Pennsvlvanla,
Ohio, New Jersey, Delaware and Maryland, ad
dress "The Hall Scale Coinoany," Pottsvllle,
Hchuylklllconnty, Pa.
9. For Scales or Agencies In this County, ap
ply to the undersigned, where they can be see u
and examined any time.
J LEI BY & BRO.,
Newport, Perry co., Pa.
FRANK MORTIMER,
ft T New liloonitteld, Perryco.,Po.
A CARD. To all who are suffering Irom the
errors and indiscretions of youth, neryous
weakness, early decay, loss of manhood, &c, I
will send recipe that will cure you, FREE OF
CHARGE. This great remedy was discovered by
a missionary in South America. Send a self-addressed
envelope to the Rev. Joseph T. Inman,
Motion D, BibU House, JVeto l'or City. 16b ly
Late Immense Discoveries by STANLEY and oth
ers are Just added to the only complete
Life and Labor of Livingstone.
This Veteran Explorer ranks among the most
heroic figures of the Century, and this book is one
of the most attractive, fascinating, richly illus
trate.! and Instructive volumes ever Issued.
Being the only entire and authentic life, the mil
lions are eager for it. and wide awake agents are
wanted quickly. For proof and terms address
HUBBARD BUO&. Publishers. 7M Sausom Street,
Philadelphia. 50
GLENN'S
SULPHUR SOAP,
A Stbkuno Rkmkdt For Diskases and
Injoiues op tub Skin; A Healthful
BEACTIFrER OF TB COUPLEXION; A I?E-
liablb Means or Piikvkxtinci and Re-
I.IEVINU lillKDM VTISM AND GOLT, AND AN
UNKQUAI.F.D Disixfkctast, Deodoiuzek
AND CoU.NTKK-IllHlTANT.
Olenn'B Sulphur Soup, besides eradi
cating locivl ducasca of the skin, baniahca
detecit ot the complexion and imparls to it
gratifying clearness and smoothnuMi.
Sulphur Jiath arc cclcbrnicL for cu
ring eruptions and other disomies of the skin,
as well us Rheumatism and Gout. Glenn'
Sulphur Soap produces the game eH'ccta
at a most trifling expense. This admirab'e
specific also speedily hnala torn, brvittt,
fold, burns, tprain and cut. It remove
dandruff and prevents the hair from fulliuK
out and turning gray.
Clothing and linen used in the sick room
Is disinfected, and disputes conimunii-able by
contact with the person, prevented by it.
The Modical Fraternity sanction its use.
Prices, 25 and 60 Cf.nts fku Cake, Vtu
Cox, (8 Cakes,) 00c and $1.80.
N. S. Buy Um Urf nkn an4 ihtrcby tconoulK, Bold
by all lraj:fflt.
"Hlirs Hair and Whisker Pjf," B!ak
r Urown, Mc
CB.CaIITTOPn?'r.7&iitUT.H.r,-
WEED
" CENTENNIAL," fov Family Work.
"GENERAL FA VORITE" for Man ufa during.
SUPERIOR TO MA: IN
Simplicity, Efficiency, Durability, Strength and Lightness.
WOOD AUEXTS WASTED."
NKKl)
WEED SEWING MACHINE COMPANY,
( i:tor CliOHtnut Nli-oot.
PHILADELPHIA, PA.
11 7 ISt
Newport Advertisements.
JONES' BROS, & CO.,
(Formerly John Junes it Son.)
Grain & Produce
MERCHANTS,
Brisk Warehouse. Front St., above Market. '
Newport, Perry County, Pa.
VK would respectfully li.vlte the patronnge of
the farmers, and tlm public generilly., ns
the HKillliST I'ltlCKS tlm uiarket will iilVOrd.
will be paid (or all kinds ol
CHAIN.
II.OLK.
I PRODUCE.
HEHDK AND '
RAILROAD TIES
We havecoiistanlly on hand,
FISH,
HALT,
PLASTER,
CEMENT.
COAL.
IRON,
STEEL,
HORSE SHOES, 1:0., &e.
FOR SALE AT THE LOWEST RATES,
B. Orders promptly lliled.
Newport, July 20, 1S73 t'
JyJEWPORT DRUG STORE.
HitviUK ou liHUtl n eoniplute assortment of the fol
lnwinK nrtlclm, tho subscrllifr asks a suarcof your
liAirimim.
lh'ugn and Medicine,
CHEMICALS OF ALL KINDS.
Ainu a full atock of
Concentrated Eomedies,
KSSE1STTIAL OILS.
Brushes, PerfHrnery -
HA I It OH.,
AND
FANCY ARTICLES.
Also always on Hand,
PURE VINES& LIQUOR
KOK
MEDICINAL and SACRAMENTAL
PURPOSES '
PU V SI CIA XS ORDERS
Ctrrfu ami Promptly Filled
O . M . EBY,
Newport, Penn'a.
J B H ART 2ELL7
Wholesale Tobacco Dealer,
aTKWFOKT, I A.
Sole Aiieut for Ixrllard's Superior Tobaccos.
Country Merchants aiuiplled with Goods
at Phllaitnlpbla uricet.
- Vour orders are solicited. 8 41
1?. & COOK& CO.,
- Aniee to sell all kind, ot
LUMBER AND SHINGLES,
for LESS MONEY than any other dealers in this
county. Wwillalo take sood Timber on tha
stump or delivered at our Mill in exchange for
Lumber, ftc. We use Clearlleld Pine aud Hem
look only.
W. R. 8. COOK & CO.,
Newport, Perry (.'a., Pa.
October It), 1871"..
IM POUT A NT NOTICE The subscriber
late of I lie Mr m of Ithoades Sinltb, would
respectfully inform the alliums of BLAIN
and vluluitv, that he has opened WAGON
MAKEKBtfOP, and Is prepared to make new
waKona and repair old ones at short notice, and.
at from TEN u IWKNTY poroeut. cheaper than
tha old Urns. '
4VUive me a call. Batisfaetlon guaranteed.
JACOU SMITH.
Vlala. August , 1S7.
FOli VlliCVLMlS AiI) PRICKS.
Ainci-imii and I'orcign I'tilcDls.
C1ILMORK M., Hiieenxsoi'S to CHIl'MAN,
X HOSMEK & CO., Solicitor". Patent pro
eiited mall countries. N4 KKI'.S IN ADVAMI'i
No chnrisH unless the piitent In crnuled. No fees
for uiaklnti pieliniiiiai.v e.xamliial Ions. N.i mldl
tlnuiil fees fur olilainiii!! ami eiintliietlnir a re
lieiu Inir l!y a recent Oi'eisiitu of the Cniiiin s
stnnei'. A I.I, ri'Jecieil applleiithins may lie n-viveil.
Speirial lltlellllon then lo Inlei fi-leit'cH ('ath-;-fni'cthc
I'titent olliee, I'.xiensiuns liHldie t.'un
cress, liifrlti;eiilt'nt Siiilsin illlleiriil Suites null
all litigation iipirrl,iliilnt! to Inveiitliii s or I'at
ciils. Send Stamp In tliliuoro & C-., lor pauipli-
let "f Mlxl V tnlRes.
UNO CASKs. I. AND WARRANTS & SCIIII'.
Cinitesieil Land Cases proeeiiitMl litfnio Hie II.
S. General Laud Olllce and liepultneiit of I he
Interior. I'l ivaie Lund Claims. MINI No innl
PUIS l'.MI'IKlN Claims, anil IIO.M liSI'liA li cases
mutinied lo. Land Scrip In Jn. K". ai'V 1 i ;i tieie
ltieres hn- sale. '1 IiIn Sei ip is assieiiable. and can
be loc ited In Hie ii rue of Hie inintliaser unon hiiv
(loveinnieiit land MthJ-ct to private entry, at
l 1: per acre Ills ol ciu.il value with Itiiunly
Laud Wnrralils. Send Slump to Gllinore .S; Co.,
for painplilet of liMriii'tlnn.
Altltli-tltS III' PAY AND IKICNTV.
OlTU'l.KS, K'lLl.ficus and SAII.iillS of the
late war. or their heirs, are In teany cases ent Illed
In nnoiey rnnn the Government ol which t liny
have no s,no leilt;e. Write full h'storv of service,
ami siale amount ot pav anil bniintv reitelveil.
Kuclose mump in (II I, Mi l! i; CO., ai'ul a lull le-
i ily.allcr exainlnation. will be ulveu joii free.
I' ISNsMIN is.
I All Olfl-H.'KKS. Kill DIKItH, aud KAfl.OltS,
wounded, ruiitun d. or Inluieil In tlm lale war,
I however slight, can oUtulii a pensnn by addicssitii;
; GII.MOItK.VCO.
! Cases pro-eeiiled bv GILMOItlCit CO, before
i the Supieme Court o the t'nlted Sliites.tlie Court
of Claims null the Siiulliein C ailns Commission.
Each dt parlmeiir. of our business Is eoudiicled
In aseparaie Imieuu. uu.ler cliai'ue ol the same
experienced parties, eiublnyed by llio old linn.
Prmnpt attention lo all business eiKiusled to
GILMOHIC ft CO.. is Ihus secured. We desin' to
win 'iiccess by ilesei vlim II.
I Address: (Ml.Molif SCO..
Will'. Street'.
I WashlnKtoii. D. C
M
ANHOOD: HOW LOST
HOW RESTORED?
Just jiulillsbed. a new edition of Or. Culver,
well's Celclnaied Kssavoiillie radical cure (wnli
ont medicine) of si-kkmatomkhika or Seminal
Weakness, Involuntary Seiiiluul Losses. Impoten.
cy, Mental aud Physical liicaiiacilv. Impediuieuls
to innrriaue, etc. s also, Consuinjitlon. Epilepsy
and Ills, induced by self-Indulgence or sexual ex
travauance .c.
- Price. In a sealed envelope, only six cents.
The celebrated author, in this admirable Essay,
clearly demonstrates, from a thirty vent s' success,
fill practice, thai the alaiuitni; conseiilences of
self abuse may be radically cured without the
dangerous use of Internal medicine or the appli
cation of thekuifcr pointing out a mode of cure
at once simple, certain, and ellectual. by means of
which every sufferer, no matter what Ills condi
tion may be. may cure himself cheaply, privately,
and rail leal ly
Seut under seal. Ill a plain envelobe. tn nnv ad
dress, postpaid, on receipt of six cents or two
post stamps.
Address Hie publishers. Ixl'.l'lv
THKCULVEKWhLL MEDICAL CO.
41 Ann St., New York i Post Olllce Box.4"i8il.
JHE CHEAPEST IN THE WORLD
Peterson's Magazine!
GREAT KKDCCTION TO CI.TJHS - POSTAGE
PRE PAID TO MA1LSVDSCRIIIERS.
PETERSON'S MAGAZINE has the best Orlul
nalHtoties of any of the. lady's books, the best
Colored Fashion Plates. I lie best Receipts, the best
Steel Enravlnd. Ac, o. Every famliv outfit to
have It. It tfves more for the money tlian any In
the world, it will contain, uext year, ill Its twelve
numbers
On ThonmnA Vtffes Jburfeen NiArnrHd Wtel
riatnnTuvltm Iblotvd Hr.elin J'dttenm
TMt. Mttmmolh rWoreif Absi
tUn Jhimlrml Wood Cut Tun-n-x
V-bur I'mft aj Musle !
It will also give FIveOrlRlnal Cnpvrltfit Novel
ettes, by Mrs. Ami B. Stephens. Frank lye Bene,
diet, Mrs. Frances Hoduson Burnett, Marietta
Holley. and Lucy II. Hooper. Also, nearly a
hundred shorter stories. All Original, by the best
authors of America. Kssutmrh
Mammoth Colored Fashion Platen
are ahead of all others. These plates are en
graved on steel, twice the usual sle.
TERMS (AlwniB In ATTnuw) 2 A YEAR.
Two Copies for IS.HH 3 Copies for UM, with a
eopy of the premium picture (27xai) "Cornwallls'
Surrender,' a Five Dollar Kugraving, to the per
son netting up the ('bib.
Kiur Copies for 16.80-6 Copies for $S.(i0, with an
extra copy of the Mayaxlne for IS77, as a premi
um, to tiie person netting up the Club.
Six Copies forntt tiO 7 Copies for 11.00 9 Copies
for 413..SU. with both an extra copy of the Maga
zine for 1X77. aud the premium picture, a Five
Dollar engraving, lo tha pel son getting up the
Club.
Address, post-paid,
CHARLES J. PETERSON.
3(Ki Chestnut St., Philadelphia, Pa.
Specimens sent gratis, if written for. u
JMPORT ANT TOHUCKSTERS."" '
The undersigned, deslringto return to the city,
otters for sale, the ooon wu.i. to a good marketing
route In Perry Co.. with two iiohsb TKiU.aud
fixtures all ttomplete, with all necessary tnstruc
lions to purchaser. This Is an old established
route and a rare chanee. For particulars, call ou
or address,
X M. I.RNNKV,
Mrchauicsburg,
SI 3m. ' Cumberland Co.,Pa.
::".::;7viok'8;';'
Illiistratf d Priced Cntalone .
Fifty pages Sou Illustrations. with Descriptions
of the thousands of the best Flowers and Veg
etables In the world, and the way to grow them
alitor Two Ckmt postage stump. Printed in
German and English.
Vlck's Floral Guide. Quarterly , 23 cents a year.
Vlck'a Flower and Vcuelable Gardeu, So ceuts
In papeci in elegant cloth covers, il.ou.
Address, JAMES VICK., Rochester, N. V.
. . A VCTIOXKEKS. ,
'tamescleelan"d
U Auctioneer,
Offers his services Xn the cltlrens of Perry and
Cumberland counties Post olllce address,
Shermansdale, Perry eo., Pa.
D.HENRY,
A VCTroXFMJl.
Blalu, Perry county Pa.
. Terms Moderate and every exertion made
In render satisfaction. tf
Auctioneer. The iiiideil(rnerl give
iiotlcethat he will cry sales at any point In Perry
or Dauphin counties. Orders are solicited and
promptaitentlun wlllbe given.
K. D. WEI.1,8.
New Hnffale.
Perrv eo., Pa.
DAVID M'COY, 4
A net Ion per
a. Charees very low. Post OIHee address
Ickesburg Penn'a s l
Q B HARNISH,
AtJCTK 1S' 12 I'll I ,
Del vllle. Perrv Co., Pn. Chnrges moriernte. ami
satlstaetioli gunranteod. Mt
N
EW SHOE SHOP!
The undersigned respectfully In'orms Ihecltl.
r.ens of llloomlleld iiud vicinity, I hat they have
opened a slioe-shop In the room of F II. ('looser,
recently occupied as a Law-nftier, by Calvin Nell
snn,.Esr., where Iher will do work at Panic pric
es, 0'f pairing made a specialty lit prices lo suit
the times) from l t i Si ner ceiil. saved by patron
Izmgoiir shop. Our motto is "ipiiek sales hiiiI
short inotlts). Terms cash, or country produce,
but positively no credit.
LEVI II. AWA1ITZ SCO..
sen llloomtleld. Pa.
.fanunryls. Is7 tf
S . rs.'i-
(.-lit.
in'it
M-n.iini!,
1 ! i t:i i-.
' t'ttl.W I . ..IT.
I i 1 1' TO-
ruin! -ri nsiirjp.,L
II ..-) f ..... 111'..,,, I,.ll: J U.I Vr.l.lL.l.t X I
',' ) .i'-es. 4 A n iitiiruccblfoi (ii.iias s''57" ;
' .-.' IL.lr. IH I.i'I.hmMW
V-'. v. "1 jin;.'t:.' tll.i-.A.O!ilS X.'r.t'v
l" ir Sale liv I
Perrv couiitj , P.i.
MimriMKit. New Hlooinlleld,
Vi;UV LADY SIKH LI)
II AVK ONE Ol- OCR
IMPROVED PLA1TEHS,.
adaplcd lo all kinds of goods, and to a'l the r.
ferent ami 1'adnomilile styles of Plaiting, simple
and easily managed, it Is Just Hie article evciy
lady needs.
sent lf intil'. postapt' paid, on receipt of price,
tin". Send for Circular.
Address
N. Y. TRKMH.E MT'll CO..
Ill orllunilt Ktwt Xvir York.
JHE PERRY HOUSE,
New IMooiHfleld, perry Co., Ph.,
T1I03. SUfCli, I'loprietor.
PENTENNIAL" HOTEL; . 7 " .
J (Formerly the Sweger House,)
MAIN BTRKKT,
NEW BLOO.MFIK1.D. PERRY CO.. PA.
JOS. S. SMITH, .... Proprietor.
Having good accominodnllons for regular or
transient boarders, a shaie of public patronnxe
is solicited. Ill IP
JHE MANSION HOUSE,
New Bloom Held, reiin'a.,
O. M. RINESMITH. - Propr'stor.
This well known hotel ha lately beenenlarged.
re painted and re lltted. Best accommodations
afforded. - Careful hostlers always lu attend
auce, Vi'ju
ST(lf K STAMI AND FA It M Kill
HAI.K.-A First-rate Farm in Jmilata eo..
Pa., also a Store St aud and Stock of Oooos Fr
further particulars adrtress SAMl'EL BUCK,
Port Ro al. Juniala co.. Pa. :;s:;m
THE STANDARD OF THE WORLD
Over 300 Modifications.
TO THE EEODIREENTS OF IWX BUSINESS
EMBANKS :&E WING.
vunn:sTNUT St. Philadelphia.
h
OME MANUFACTURE.
LOOK OUT!
I would respectively Inforai myfrlendstbat I In
teutl calling upon them with a supply ol good
of my
6WN MANUFACTURE.
Consistlngof
CA88IMEB8.
CAS3INETS,
FLANNELS, (Plalnandbar'd)
CARPETS,
tetxebangefor woo or senior cash.
J.M. BIILKR.
CKNTKIWOOI.I FltTOK . - ,17,4
pEABODY- HOUSE, " "
CORNER o LOCV87 AJtn NINTH HTM.,
PHILADELPHIA, PA.
Convenient to all places of amusemeut and car
lines In the ally. No changm to and Irom lb
Centennial grounds.
' Col. Wai.sou. proprietor i I b Hkkrt Hoi'i..
i hnclnnnti for the past twanty years, and present
proprietor, lias leased tho house for a term of
years, and has newly furoisl-ed and titled II
throughout. He will keep a strictly Ursl-elass
house, and has accommodation fur 400 guestk.
Terms S.S per day.
-KoBrhas ever been kept In the HENRY
HOUSE, nor will any be kept at tha PEA
BODY. , . ,10tt
'
The Deacon Answered.
Vp In New llamitHhlre, where 1 used
to live wlieu a loy (nay Oovernor
'oytn), there wan Bit old deacon who
whs a great deul more pious than honent.
He wan an old hypocrite, and when he"
haddonc a particularly mean thitiK lie'
eased his cotiHcictiee by going out Into
a field, along one tilde of which was a
stone wall, and kneeling heslde It, pray
ing tVie Lord to topphi it over ou him If
lie hud done anything od'euaive to Hint
or wrong in Ills night. Well, we boy
found It out, and one day, when we saw
the deacon making for the atone wall,
we got on the inhcr eldo and waited,
lie knelt down according to hls usual
custom, and went through his umtal
formula, closing with the petition to
have the wall toppled over if lie had
done anything wrong. And we toppled
it Jumping out front under the atones,
the old man cried out in tones of mingled
disgust and alarm: "(lood gracious! '
can't you toll when a man Is joking ?"
CjT A Western editor, who thinks the
wages dcmiitKlcdby composition an Im
position .has discharged his hands and In
tends to do his own type-setting in future.'
He snys ; "oAi.'(. To the fXoulii'rant
irart.ie d KuiaNc?ei Ii.C pz-inicHs wK
hu.e CoNCltifLii J.odoorK own tYpc
'Ti.g j. tIic fii,(,tii:K; itsDaLhotidii
we iiEtcr lKarned Tile liuufnoss tre d()
Noj s.ilOtisX giteccf liiA'TciyorY Iff flit
Two friends, un T'ligliKhnian and
tin Irishman, traveling, had n double
bedded room at an inn. Being awoke
by a noise in the night, the Englishman
called to his companion tolight a candle.
"Where U It V asked Pat. "At your
right hand, on the Lable." "Are you
crazy f" cried Pat. "How can I see
.which Is my right hand in the dark V" '
Hi? The otherdny,H house in Putnam,
Conn,, in which there was a sick negro,
was struck by lightning, and some of
the neighbors going In to see what had
liecome of him, he peered out from ' un
der the bedclothes, covered with splinters
of wood and broken pieces of plaster, '
and coolly asktd : "Am dar goln' to lie
anudder shower, honics V"
0' A recently-appointed Scotch bailie
took his scat, for the first time, on the
magisterial bench. Looking " sternly
around, he thus addressed tho assem
blage: "Hithettti there have been many
complaints as to how impartially affairs
have been carried out here ; but I Intend'
that the business of this court shall In
future be conducted neither partially
nor impartially.'''
,- i r i:
-- - gk - - -
SaTT' During cholera times a Glasgow
joiner was asked by a lady, who' was
employing him at some household work,
whether he would have a glass now or
wait till he had finished the job. 'I'll
be takin' the glass noo men,' said the
artisan, 'for there's lieen power a' sud
den deaths lately.'
afiT As a gcncrul thing, these Western
girls mean business. One of them, whose
stern parents had refused to let her marry
a chap by the name of Smith, was heard
the other day to say; I guess we'd lietter
go down to llie gospel shop. Those idiots
won't have It, and I'll marry you or
bust a rib !''
- -
gT'-What is heaven's best gift to
man asked a young lady on a Kunday
evening, as she smiled sweetly on the
pleasant looking clerk who was visiting
her. "A horse'" replied the young
gentleman with a commcudablo cau
tion. Au Irish hod-carrier at work 'on a
building, was complaining of his hard
lot; said he: "If I thought I'd have
to carry a hod in heaven, I'd tie a big
stone round my neck and jump into the
middle of the sue, aud stay there us long
as I lived."
An eccentric old Englishman who
died lately left a will which bequeathed
to his daughters their i ight in A'l notes.'
He evidently believed in the proverb.
"Where there's a will tliere'sa weight."
"A friend of ours," says the editor
of a New York contemporary, "is grow
ing weaker and weukcr every day. Hti
has got so weak now that he can't raise
five dollurs." , ,
A coroner's jury iu the cae of a
man who was killed by a falling icicle,
rendered the verdict tliat he died "front
hard drink."
t-Simeiiiie who believes that" rrevi
ty is the soul f wit," writes: "Dort'i
ea) stale Q cumbers. They'll W a n."