" REG’LAR FELLERS = ot ut 1 OWL LAFFS A WISE OWL A certain man not so far from town was about to father, The doctor came, went up- stairs and soon asked for a small screw driver, then a larger one, then a small wrench, then the ice tongs, each time making the trip up and down stairs. The father to be, getting very impatient remarked: “What in thunder are you doing with all those tools? Tel] me, is it a boy or become a girl?” The doctor replied: “How in blazes do I know. Can't get my d medicine case open.” A fellow up at Florin told me this one yesterday. One hot even- ing last week his old maid neigh- bor kneeled at the bed to say her | and he heard her ¢ little prayer wind up as follows: send him back safe, single.” ‘— and please sound and Since I'm on the subject I'll give you this one poetically. I stood at my window at midnight, Staring thru the air. When a comely maid, Pulled down her shade And left me standing there, I saw an inscription on a tomb- stone in the Mount Joy cemetery: “Prepare for death And Follow Me.” Now tell me who on earth can do that when you don’t know which way he went! Roy Sheetz tells this one about his recent trip to the hospital. The ward was full of ailing The air was full of groaning The doctor entered, full of fun Good moaning, men, goed moaning, men In a recent divorce case at Lan- caster a man said: “We happy for a long time your Honor. then — then a baby came.” “Boy or girl,” said the Judge. “Girl, a peach of a blonde, mov- ed in next door to us.” were ‘No daddy can be expected to become elated over the facie that baby is beginning to tal and she insists on telling it to the judge. A local husband vows he'd pay cash money to hear an argument between his wife and one of those tobacco auctioneers, He can add my spouse to that, too. — I saw a car on Sunday with two little signs set into the control panel. On the left it said, Pilot, and on the right Co-Pilot. On the same car, on the left and right of the rear bumper, was lettered: “Passing Side” and “Suicide.” —— —— Guess that motorist had sompin! i FR A lady on East Main Stg sab: she finally broke her husband of biting his nails, She hid his teeth. A few daffynitions from papers, recently turned into our teachers, included: Pedestrian — A man whose wife icck the car. local Blizzard — Part of what you find in a fowl. Minera] Wool — Shesrings from a hydraulic ram. Horse sense — Just stable thinking. No wonder the teachers insisted on a pay raise. Grandma Wize says the reason the average girl would rather have beauty than brains is be- cause the average man can see better than he can think! Along with the story about ‘the Scot who went outside of the house on Christmas Eve, snd fired a pistol, and went back in the house, and told his children that Santa Claus had just committed | _ Suicide, belongs this one, about A Ai a SUPPOSE | WAS | TO ASK YOu TO LEND ME A DIME, WHAT WOULD High School Soccer | pi Ee ‘Team Wins Opener Mount Joy High School opened { its soccer season with a decisive | win over West Lampeter Tuesday, {3 t00. | Mt, Joy dented the goal the fee. | first quarter and added two more in in both the third and fina] peftiods to clinch the verdict. Rice, Linton, | Max, Conner and Harple did the Mt, Sumpman while Miller outstanding in their field play. scoring, John Joy Lowell | and were Township Manheim Boro dropped out the league, leaving New Holland | S h | N 1 and Manor idle in the loop. C 00 Oo es | Mt. Joy Pos. W. Lampeter | (From page 1) Stohler G Herr | Gettysburg College and formerly Derr RF. Rhoads | ht in Claysburg. Pa Metzler LF. Harnish | aude In Claysburg, Sumpman R.H. Hess | Mr. John Evans is the new in- Rice CH Werner | dustrial arts teacher who succeeds | McGarvey LH. Lake | ppp. William Workman, who re- { Linton OR. Gochenauer | sition in. New | Max LR. Scheaffer | signed to accept a position in New Germer CF. Musser | Jersey. Mr. Evans is now a teacher Shupp Y.-L. Neville | in Media, Pa. by Feher | Miss Jean Sabo, girls physical re erioas: | Me Jovy 1 0 2 2—5 | education teacher, replaces Mrs. W. Lampeter 0 0 0 0—9 | Elizabeth Shatz. She is a graduate Cah 1 ~ > _ Substitutes — Mt. Joy — Stary, | of Fast Stroudsburg Teachers Col- Fitzkee, Martin, Miller, Brown, lose Divet, Taylor, Harple, Cramer, B.| ‘¢5¢- ; Bates, Brooks, Boyer and W. Bates. The school is entered in the W. Lampeter Hackman, Hershey Lancaster County Soccer League. and Duval. Goals Linton, The team will be coached by Mr. Robert Phillips of the faculty. The schedule follows: Mt. Joy — Rice, Max, Conner and Harple, East Hempfield Wins Fast Hempfield exploded for all Sept. 30—At Mt. Joy. five of its goals in the third quar- Oct. 7—New Holland, Home. ter after East Donegal had taken Oct. 14—At Manheim. a 1-0 lead in the second period. Oct. 21—W, Lampeter, Home, Donegal got its final tally in the Oct. 28—At Manor. third stanza, | The school is also entered in the | Lancaster County Hockey League and the team will be coached by | Girls’ Hockey Miss Jean Sabo. The season opens Sept. 23 when East Hempfield Mount Joy high school girls’ visits East Donegal. The rest of hockey team opened it’s second the schedule is: year of organized play since 1941, Sept. 26—At Mt. Joy. yith Miss Virginia Gorgodian as Oct. 3—Elizabethtown, Home, coach. Oct. 3—At. Manheim, The fellowing games are sched- Oct. 17—At East Hempfield. uled for this season: At home — Oct, 22—Mt. Joy, Home. Sept. 26, Fast Donegal; Oct. 8 East Oct. 24—At Elizabethtown, Hempfield; Oct. 17, Elizabethtown: Nov. 5—Manheim, Home. Oct. 24, Manheim, Away — Sept. The student council] was reor- 24 Elizabethtown; Oct. 3, Man- ganized by C. Arthur Hollinger, heim; Oct. 22, Fast Donegal; Oct. | faculty sponsor, Lester Hawthorne 24, Fast Hempfield, is the new president. Raymond All home games are played on Good was elected vice-president the high school field at 4:00 pm. | and Patsy Waller, the new secre- Included in the lineup are: tary-treasurer. Captain, Phyllis Hoffman, center 0 forward; Joyce Ellis, left inner; FIELD HOCKEY NOTES Marian Foerch, right inner; Yvonne Schneider, right wing; Manor and Manin Township Melissa Strickler, left ing Too registered victories in Section A, Mumper, center halfback: Mary while Best Donegal ond Noun} Joy Jane Krall, right halfback: bik the victors In fhe Section B Dolores Miller, left * halfback; | > : Dolores Wilson, right fullback; | Kosi Donegal banged pair (of Joanne Kramer, left fullback: goals through in the first half to {blank East Hempfield, 2-0. : | Mc r used first h: , Substitutes Shirley Scho- | Mount Joy used first half goals by field, Abedeen and Corrine Mark- | Joyce Ellis and Marian Foereh ley, Peggy Zerphey, Bonnie Bigler, | to nose out Elizabethtown 2-1. Eliz- abethtown got its goal in the second Nancy Angstadt, goalie, are: and Jean Wagner, : half a shot mai Jurko- The manager is Maryanne Long; | ale on 2 shot by Romaine Yurk assistant manager Nancy Brown. Girls’ hockey is a fast, interest- | East Hempfield Pos. East Donegal ing game, full of action as the , LW. Forman 1 : { Gingrich LI J. Waser girls dribble, drive, scoop and Habecker CPF. Mattera switch in their defensive and | Swarr RL G. Waser offensive playing. | Zerphey RW. Fisher Plan to attend these after school | Weaver : LH. Lindemuth i > | Hauenstein R.H. S. Raber games. They're open to the public. Forney LF T. Waller The students and players invite | Edwards RF. Goss and urge you to join the “rooters.” | Miller G. G. Raber — ter | Score by Periods: | Fas to ( ¢ Everybody reads newspapers buf | East Hempfield .......... 0 0-9 NOT everybody reads circular ad- | EAST DONEGAL ......... 2 0-2 Substitutes—E. Hempfield: Ben- der. E. Donegal: Goss and Waller. yoals—E. Donegal: Mattera and S. Raber. it RR ST wvertising left on their door step. the Scotchman who awoke in the early morning hour and found his | wife dead beside him in bed. he and shouted Wis Second Annual stairs to Bridget the cook: “Cook | one egg this morning.” rolled over, Soap only (From page 1) : { ceed 12 inches, With winter coming cn, just re-| Race will be run on the Market is | Street hill. member, boys, that a diplomat a man who can make his wife be-| Cars are not to cost more than lieve ‘she'd look fat in a fur coat. | £3.00 when built. These are the major rules and An attractive’ blonde, just a| are very simple to follow. : SR nl - ¢ little fed up after six months of | The prizes will be: $1000 for | ¢: om or marriage complains that “A wedd- | first; $7.00 for second; $5.00 for third and $3.00 for fourth. So -come on boys and girls. Get ing ring is like a tourniquet; it stops your circulation.” | started on those racers now. Last a book des- | prefab- vear we had eight racers and this vear we would like to have at least bought A fellow cribingg the inexpensive ricated houses and became so fas-| twelve if possible, or even more. inated with it that he finally or-| If you wish any further infor- mail. Some | mation on the race or about the dered a house by weeks later he wrote of protest to the manufacture. cars, get in touch with Jos. Shaef- W. Donegal Street, Mount call 67W Mount Joy, Pa. a bitter note | His a complete flop. An in- fer, 327 Joy, or house was spector came to investigate and| Lets get started now. : ; sea A roared: “Why, you've put the | whole thing upside down.” “Oh,|ON LEBANON VALLEY SQUAD replied the man, “then that's why Marshall Gemberling, well I keep falling off the porch.” known local athlete, is a member of “The Flying Dutchmen,” :Leb- | A number of Mt. Joy shoppers ancn Valley College's football twenty-three weighs and is a Junior at College. | Andy Kerr thinks Gember- | good as he “Marsh” is years old, stands 6 ft. 4 in, 205 want to know — “With no ceiling | team what does the cust hit when he learns the new prices of meat, butter, eggs, etc.? Ibs. nas I guess that does it. A WISE OWL) ket A A Be ah oh ast Donegal ki “VD SAY TH’ SAME THING | SAID TO YAN -- ABSOTIVELY NOPE! NIX! NAH! NOT A CHANST! was THAT YOU | ASKED YESTERDAY? oP BULLER’S BEAUTY SALON MAIN STREET, FLORIN, PA. Specializing in SCALP TREATMENTS CQLD WAVING MACHINELESS PERMANENTS MANICURING SHAMPOO SETS PHONE MOUNT JOY 153-J-5 Open Monday to Friday 9 a. m. to 8 p. m. Saturday 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. FINGER WAVING LOOK MODERN Now In Mount Joy Wertz Modern Dry Cleaning 35 WEST MARKET STREET MARIETTA, PA. Have done work in York and vicinity for past six years. OUR OLD CUSTOMERS ARE PLEASED—LET US PLEASE YOU! Ladies’ Dresses and Men's Suits $1. FOR PICK-UP AND DELIVERY PHONE MARIETTA 3109 Clean all material you may have in your home BE MODERN 00 CALL MODERN | Have your saws filed by mnchine | gate, Tile HUMMER and Asbestos Roofing, J. F. Carpenters - Contractors They cut cleaner, truer, better. Copper, Sheet Iron, Tin Spouting, types, quicker service. Bring them Hot Air Heating, Ventilating, to Suctign Fans, etc. CHARLES ABEL oe Milton Gfove, Pa. Office: 34 Detwiler Ave. Mt. Joy Phone: Mt. Joy 129R12 7-31-f Phone 209-R 7-17-tf Everybody In This Locality Reads The Bulletin MARIETTA uonsccus CARNIVAL SATURDAY EVENING, SEPT. 27, 1947 MARIETTA WAR MEMORIAL PARK 6:45 P. M. TRAINED DOG ACT BY PENNA. STATE POLICE ELMER McLAIN AND MYRTLE MARIETTA YOUTH BAND REFRESIIMENTS CHILDREN FREE TEN PRIZES FREE PARKING GAMES RIDES ADULTS DONATION 25¢ Open Meeting To All Residents of FLORIN & COMMUNITY FLORIN HALL MONDAY, SEPT. 29, 1947 7:20 P. My 692 2451 LEAGUE STANDING Team WwW. LL Corll ..............s 15-5 Good: ............... SR Barnhart ........... 11:9 Tronic 11 9 Shonk ........00 10 10 Kreider .............. 9 11 Spangler ............. TB 3 Frey 4 16. .200 HS, Tronio, 247; H.S.T., Shonk, 965; H.T., Dougherty, 654; H.T.T., Shonk and Good, 2694. eet Ce The raising of pullets and bor keys takes six months or more. ee and kale good in a vegetable loaf. ee es EE THEATRE NIGHTLY 7 & 9. EXCEPT SUN. FRI-SAT. Sept. Spinach are espically 26-27 Sep) MON.-TUE. Sept. 29-30 Sharyn Moffett — Regis Toomey “CHILD OF DIVORCE” PLUS “Code of the West” WED. ONLY Oct. 1 THE BUMSTEAD FAMILY “BLONDIE’S BIG MOMENT" Barnharts FG SG TG TI. | Hershey ...... 144 160 166 470 Pennell ....... 194 167 139 500] Brown ........ 169 147 152 468 Barnhart ...... 161 177 169 507 Dougherty 237 215 202 65% Total ....... 905 866 828 2599 Kreiders FG SG TG TI.| Kreider ....... 180 191 177 548 Hipple ......., 152 158 196 506] J. Hostetter 183 204 176 563 | Reinhold ....... 155 165 175 495; Bennett ........ 172 179 174 525 Total ......., 842 897 898 2637 | Coril’s FG SG TG TI J. Mateer ...... 153 153 154 460 A. Gelimacher , 171 172 202 545] O. Mateer ..... 180 143 154 477 C. Hendrix . 180 198 182 560] B. Corll ...... 169 197 204 570 Total 853 863 896 2612 I'reys FG SG TG TL Brey iio 200 176 162 538 Balmer ........ 142 168 176 486 Breneman ..... 167 136 160 463] Funk ......... 181 181 198 560 Dog 153 143 154 450 Total 843 804 850 2497 Tronios FG SG TG TI. Boozer .......: 154 138 129 421 Pieler: 168 160 181 509 Here .......... 159 160 193 512 Kulp icin 159 146 186 491] vs 191 157 208 556 Total ........ 831 761 897 2489] Shonks FG SG TG Ti, Schaeider 162 152 171 485 Penmnel} ....... 184 151 162 Mateer ........ 118 172 183 473 Peirsol ........ 165 138 190 493 Shenk. ......., 202 172 188 Total ........ 831 785 894 2510 | Goods FG SG TG TI. F-Good ....... 138 171 113 502] Hurst .......... 148 167 165 480 J. Germer . 213 200 152 E Brown ...... 139 203 205 547) M. Good .....: 184 202 214 600 Total ........ 842 943 909 2694 Spanglers FG SG TG TI Packer ........ 167 169 160 496 Nels ......... 224 183 142 549 Gerberich ..... 143 165 116 424 Hallgren ...... 157 154 152 483] Spangler ...... 158 239 122 Total ........ 849 910 WEY MATTERS "YOUR MONE) 'W i = tr “EA fea fund «f bad 519, && 0 to sensible money iTS A GOOD TRICK ... And You CAN Do lt BYE neither spendthrift is the best approach good rule: Bank part of your earn ings belore you start any spending. a‘'miser nor a management. A SHILIYW AINOW UNOA . » A o The Union National Mount Joy Bank = x MOUNT JOY, PENNA. = O : ry MATTERS W Member of Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation [< YOUR MONE your ofr needs major repair, or only a minor adjustment, our trained mechanics will do the job with speed and skill. They use proper equip- ment and only factory en- gineered and inspected parts. Stop in soon and enjoy trouble-free driving! PROMPT ECONOMICAL- DEPENDABLE / Bring your car in today for an expert check-up! LUBRICATION COOLING SYSTEM BATTERY BRAKES SPARK PLUGS GENERATOR TIRES STEERING WHEEL ALIGNMENT FUEL LINES WIRING HEADLIGHTS AMENT’S DELTA & HENRY STS, MOUNT JOY, PA. A) SERVICE KOT) THE SIGN OF GARAGE PHONE 21-W BETTER SERVICE JE | | | TO : Organize Fire Company AND ELECT OFFICERS 9-18-2tp re] ere EVENINGS MATINEE sHOwsS AND 7AND 9:00 P. M. SATURDAYS | 1 HEATRE | 2:00 6-8-10 P.M. « WM, Mount Joy, Pa. CRETE SAT. FRIDAY — SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 26-27 GENE KELLY — MARIE MACDONALD “Living In A Big Way” -in- MONDAY — TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 23-30 LUISE RAINER “The Great Waltz” . WEDNESDAY — THURSDAY, OCTOBER 1-2 ROY ROGERS “Bells of San Angelo” MILIZA KCRJUS -in- DALE EVANS -in- FRIDAY — SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3-4 BETTY HUTTON JOHN LUND “Perils of Pauline” -in- RHEE SAT. NITE, OCT. 4th The Fire Co. Presents the years biggest show and The Gang Top Favorites with everybody, & Comedy io please you THE HOLLIDAY DANCERS This Dance Revue is poditively the best Dance Act ever to appear at Rheems MUNRO and ADAMS This Act is well worth the admission price alone. HUMOR JUGGLING COMEDY JACK HOLST & MILADY Absolutely the finest act of its kind on the stage today. FRANK ARENA THAT DYNAMIC MASTER OF CEREMONIES A Whole Show Himself ROY REBER'S ORCHESTRA EATS AMUSEMENTS ADMISSION 50c¢ GAMES St mot pre: fart bric for wit] give ii » am en 49 N.