PAGE SIX

could hoist the
State

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| 34 inches

by Sinclair Repving Campony Une)

ich explains
Ask the Sinclair Dealer for a folder
this—and try H-C for 30 days i
—
Agent Sinclair Refining Compan}
C.E. LUTZ, PA.
GET IT AT
GRISSINGER'S E. Main St, MT. QY, PA.
CHAS. HELLER MASTERSONVILLY, PA.

Your car.

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NINE times out of ten you will find that the
man who advertises is the man who most wil-
lingly returns your money if you are not satis-
fied.
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He has too much at stake to risk losing your
trade or your confidence. You can depend on
him.
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He is not in business for today or tomorrow
only—but for next year and ten years from next
year. He knows the value of good will.
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You get better merchandise at a fairer price
than he could ever hope to sell it if he did not
have the larger volume of business that comes
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5 out the promise of the printed word.
BS Don’t miss the advertisements. This very day
Be they call your attention to values that tomorrow
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8
PUI Za Le Sa IAI
Far Cheaper Than You Can Build
VERY MODERN HOME
On an 80-foot front lot, house has 8-rooms and bath, slate roof,
large porch, hot water heat, oil burner, hot and cold cellar, all
@ cemented, possession any time. This is one of the best built homes
) in Mount Joy. Only reason for selling, but one person in the fam-
ily. I will cheerfully show this property. No. 442.
Modern 7-Room House
On a 60-foot lot, corner, bath, oil burner, slate roof; house recently
painted and papered. 2-Car Garage, poultry house, fruit, etc. Come
and inspect.
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12

@REEEO©
JNO. E. SCHROLL, Realtor
MOUNT JOY,
PENNA.

THE MOUNT JOY BULLETIN, MOUNT JOY, LANCASTER CO., PA.
’
00 YOU KNOW WHY - - - You Can't Tell Happen fo A Cabaret ?

WEDNESDAY, JUNE
27th, 1934:
——
pawn for sis paper By Fisher

iy HAVE

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A WISE OWL
walked
Said the
they had
did shake
A flea and an elephant
side by side over a bridge.
flea to the elephant, after
crossed: Boy, we sure
that thing.
A certain Mount Joy street moth-
er gives the following as her defini-
tion of a boy: A noise with dirt on it
George Mumper, up at Florin, says
he has the laziest roosters in the
state. In fact, they're so lazy they
wait for the roosters next door to
CLOW... ...: and then they nod their
heads and say “ditto.”
No wonder a hen cackles when she
lays an egg, for she’s done some-
thing which may turn out to be a
SON that never sets.
The train came to a sudden grind-
ing stop, causing the passengers to
jump. “What has happened, conduc-
tor?” cried a nervous old lady from
Maytown. “Nothing much....We ran
over a cow,” replied the conduct.r.
“Was it on the track?” asked the
old lady. “No,” replied the disgust-
ed conductor, “we chased it into a
barn.”
A lady from town was complain-
ing to a minister about her husband
when the minister said: “You must
remember you took him for better
or for worse.” “Yeah, I know,” re-
marked the lady. “I took him for
better or for worse, but he’s a whole
lot worse than I took him for.”
During the final examinations in
our grade schools a child was asked
why his essay on milk was only half
a page while the others wrote eight
or nine pages. And the child said:
Teacher, I wrote about condensed
milk.
That child's too smart for the
grade schools. He should lend some
of his smartness to one of his class-
mates, who when told to read the
book, Little Women, said: Say, Ill
like that. I always did like to read
about midgets.
Here's a little matrimonial play in
three acts taken from the life of one
of our local families. First act. He
talks. ...she listens. Second act, one
year after marriage: she talks, he
listens. Third act: one year after that
and from then on: They both talk
and the neighbors listen.

I asked Abe Faus why he always
smokes cigars without bands and he
replied: I enjoy a quiet smoke.
Edgar Hagenberger says that man
is but a worm. He comes along, wig-
gles about a bit, then some chicken
gets him,

There’s a man on New Haven St.
who hasn't spoken to his wife for 6
months. ...he hates to interrupt her.

Here's one I just learned about
that occurred several weeks ago
while Joe Detwiler was attending
the horse races.
As the horse Joe bet on passed the
grand stand he looked right up at
Joe. Joe pointed and shouted to
him: They went that way.
But there are slower horses than
the one Joe picked. Another fellow
from town who was at those races,
bet on a certain horse in that same
race and the next day they had to
chase it off the track before the rac-
es could start
This week our Dumb Dora would
like to know if whales change their |
oil every five hundred miles——Will |
some kind garageman enlighten her, |
please? |
I
A surgeon at one of the Lancas- |
ter hospitals was terribly excited, |
when ask what the trouble was, and |
exclaimed. “I've just operated on a |
man, but I'm afraid I used too much
cat-gut to sew him up. Before the
operation his stomach growled, but
now it meows.

Modern man owes much to his
OWL LAFFS
OurKomicKolm
1st Veteran—Did you ever eat any
horse meat?
2nd Ditto—No, I always remember
the fate of poor Dugan when he was
in the war. He was eating some
horse meat in France when some one
said “whoa!”—and he choked to
death.
Pastor—I touched them rather
deeply this morning, don't you think
so?
Deacon—I'm not sure; I haven't
counted up the contributions yet.
Stranger—What sort of a case is
being tried?
Court Clerk—A woman is accused
of shooting her husband.
Stranger—Is the defendant beauti-
ful?
Clerk—I wouldn't want to say; the
jury’s verdict will settle that.
Photographer (to woman
Look pleasant, please!
Sitter—I get the idea.
Photographer (click, click) — Now
sitter)—

you can resume your natural ex-
pression.
Cutajar—Do you think that our
| Wall Street bankers are likely to
form?
Spoof—No; a leopard can’t change
his spots, you know.
| Cutajar—Yes, but he can have the
spots knocked off of him.

Timothy Hay—Yes, I've seen a few
bad crop years in my time, too. One
year our string beans were so poor
that the crop didn’t even pay for
the string.
Al Falfa—That’s nothing, Tim. In
'94 our corn crop wasso bad thatmy
old dad, who had a very poor appe-
tite. ate up 14 acres of corn at a
single meal.
Newly Wedded Man—By George,
Lucile; these biscuits of yours look
exactly like those my mother used
to make, 20 years ago.
Wifey—How delightful! I'm so glad!
Man (biting one)—And by George
I believe they ARE the same bis-
cuits.
Tommy—Dad, what is meant by
writers’ cramp?
Dad—It’s being cramped for mon-
ey, my son. All writers suffer from it
Bingo—What is thi thing they call
technocracy?
Stingo—It seems to me it’s
and-mouth disease on the brain.
eee AQ Arr
foot-
A BIRD NEIGHBOR

The Indigo Bunting
These beautiful birds are a common
summer resident in Pennsylvania ar-
riving here late in April and departing
for the South in late September. The
male birds generally arrive several
days in advance of the females, but
when they go in the fall, it seems they
all go together.
The male Indigo Bunting is one of
our most brilliant birds, being azure
blue with the outer part of the wings
brownish, while the female is a dull
brown in color and may easily be mis-
taken for another species of sparrow.
The Indigo Bird inhabits briary thick-
ets along roads or the edges of wood-
land, where they may be seen gather-
ing their favorite food, the seeds of
weeds. They also eat berries and some
small fruits, but should be forgiven for
this, as they destroy so many of the
seeds of destructive weeds.
The nest is a cup like affair, suspend-
ed in a bush three or four feet from
the ground and the four eggs are pure
white and unspotted.
—— Cee.
There is no better way to boost your
business than by local newspaper ad-
vertising.

ancestors and he is trying to owe a
lot to his descendants.
On Monday Mr. Potter, our local
Ford salesman, received a letter
from a young lady to whom he had
sold a car a month ago. At the time
of the deal he had promised to re-
place all busted parts, so in the letter
the lady wrote for one pair of ank-
les, one short rib, an ear lobe, one
square foot of cuticle, a box of as-
sorted finger nails, three teeth and a
funny bone.

Time tells on a man, but it shouts
at a woman.

A newly married husband came
home to dinner on Monday to see a
very odn pie on the dinner table. He
inquired: What kind of pie is that,
wifie? And she answered. That's
cocoanut. Yes, so it is, he said, but
what's that big lump sticking up | in
the middle? And she replied: Why,
honey, that’s the cocoanut. But may
be I should have taken the shell off
before I cooked it.
Golf without hazards and bunkers
would be monotonous. So would life.
A WISE OWL

WELL,
('M GONNA
KICK ‘ER
( AGAIN -
|

=i
(2
eo THE

Aw, FoR GOONESS
SAKE, NICE PLACE
ARE You CRAY UP AGAIN, - To S\T, Tim.”
WITH THE HEAT? Boys — THIS MESS. Ho-HO =
GUT {Tv OUT, oO ~ Ho ~ (M GLAD (N BETWEEN,
You Rums, — ‘M out HO-HO-
THATS ENOUGH, or. wHY PROLONG
LETS DRAW- THE AGONY?
HAND ‘EM
You STACK.
2
AND HERES How IT ENDED
ONE BOOSTER HAD Four DEUCES PAT,- THE OTHER DREw ONE AND
MADE AN “ACE FULL’, WHILE THE PooR FisH (N BETWEEN DREW THREE,
CAUGHT THE OTHER Two JACKS, RAKED IN THE POT AND THANKED
BOOSTERS FOR MARING |T SucH A NICE ONE. 3
SO ITS NOT ALWAYS UNFORTUNATE To BE CAUGHT BETWEEN.

So AM |, ©!
THAT'S A
DONT
WiC,

i

=
=

HEALTH TALK
WRITTEN BY DR. THEODORE B
APPEL, SECRETARY OF
HEALTH

At this time of year outdoor sports
come into their own. Tennis, golf,
baseball and swimming are now daily
adding thousands of seasonal recruits
However, it perhaps might be well
to temper superenthusiasm with a bit
of caution. For while sports and play
are of immense constructive value,
like other good things they can be
overdone with a consequent loss of
their definite advantage, states Dr.
Theodore B. Appel, Secretary of the
Health.
Already there have been reports of
accidental drownings. Investigations
of these cases, with but one or two
exceptions, indicate that egotism or
downright carelessness were to blame
In fact, a number of the drownings
involved expert swimmers who, sold
to their prowess, attempted feats be-
yond ther capacity to endure.
ers, under the temporary intoxica-
tion of the sport, carelessly went be-
yond their depth and sank before
help could reach them. This latter
fact indicates that it is most unwise
to swim in isolated spots and thus
deprive one’s self of help in case of
need.
Pennsylvania has hundreds of well
supervised, well regulated and sani-
tary outdoor pools and the bathing
beaches. Serious accidents seldom
occur at them. These usually take
place at the isolated spot or in out
of bounds areas in lakes and the
ocean.
Thus, swimming, one of the best of
sports from a health standpoint,
needs to be indulged in with a pro-
per respect for the possible hazards
involved. Incidentally, middle aged
and older persons should be physi-
cally checked up before engaging too
strenuously in this form of activity.
Even tennis, baseball and other re-
ational activities that demand maxi-
mum effort should be handled with
a measure of restraint by those no
longer young. Abruptly to step out
of a winter's sedentary life and over
indulge in violent exercise of any
kind is throwing a strain upon those
of middle age that is quite unjustifi-
able. Numerous instances are on file
where such practices have
in serious illness
proved fatal.
to make good use of the
days in outdoor recreation, it is not
common sense to go to extremes.
Many bodies that have done their
work excellently for forty years or
more can still take a lot of punish-
ment, but wisdom prompts reason- |
able caution. In this way many ser- !
ious and some fatal back fires can be |
avoided.
eres
ARM CHAIR BATH TUB
Bath tubs seldom change much in
style. However, reports from Ger-
many say there is a raidically new
tub on the market there. It is called
the “arm chair” tub. In it the bath-
er sits down with his feet down in
the bottom and the water up around
his shoulders. Such a tub is said to
be ideal for small apartment house
bath rooms. They take up very little
room and besides being quite com-
fortable, a fellow can give himself
just as good a scrub-down as in a
full-length tub.
reel Qe
Subscribe for The sSulletin
Oth- |

resulted |
and then have |
Therefore, while it's common sense
summer |

“Bulletin” Advertising Is the Key To Success
Who Wants A
Bargain?

Compare this with anything
you've seen or heard of in
cheap real estate.
40 Acre Farm
Bank Barn
Stone House
3 Springs, 1 Well
Tract Woodland
Running Water
On State Road
Electric Current
Hangs 5a Tobacco
All Taxes $48 Year
All Southern Exposure
For Trucking and Fruit
1 Mile to Market
Price Only $3,000
% Can Remain at 4%
Possession Any Time

Jno.E.Schroll
Mount Joy, Penna.

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