THE MOUNT JOY BULLETIN, MOUNT JOY, LANCASTER CO., PA.
HITT A
a Hole for Himself!
WEDNESDAY, J
BY HITT
Wit
— THAT REMINDS ME - NORA
SAD SHE WAS GONNA
MAKE MINCE
PES -THaTS [
PART OF THE
ALLING
ND RUNN—-Unless He Has a Cast Tron Interior Bull Had Better Start to Dig
w (T—SHE MUSTA ADDED MORE
ALCOHOL—— CLEAR THROUG
OH THATS OT A ANRUL ®
M To
ou |
OHI DEAR~ | BAKED SOME
HOT MINCE PIES AN' PUT
PINCHES EM — mM WAITING FOR
HIM TO COME BACK FOR.
—
Rn — TET
aa
10, PIR CENT cr
Look at him growl and grumble. ...yet that
maze of unsightly, tangled appliance cords is
his own fault! He deprives himself and his
family of modern convenience and adequate
light merely because he has not had sufficient
“electrical outlets” installed to take care of the
appliance needs.
Disconnecting the floor lamp for the vacuum
cleaner. . . .the toaster for the percolator.....
robbing yourself of proper lighting by plug-
ging table appliances into ceiling fixtures and
wall brackets. .... and stringing long lines of
cord from one floor lamp to another..... lack
system and efficiency.
See your local Electrical Contractor now—
have him put in immediately, more of these
highly useful “outlets” at easily accessible
places. They're not only inexpensive but quick-
ly installed.
Pennsylvania Power & Light Company
&
Far Cheaper Than You Can Build
VERY MODERN HOME
On : an 80-foot front lot, house has 8-rooms and bath, slate roof,
large porch, hot water heat, oil burner, hot and cold cellar, all
cemented, possession any time. This is one of the best built homes
in Mount Joy. Only reason for selling, but one person in the fam-
ily. I will cheerfully show this property. No. 442.
Modern 7-Room House
On a 60-foot lot, corner, bath, oil burner, slate roof; house recently
painted and papered. 2-Car Garage, poultry house, fruit, etc. Come
and inspect.
JNO. E. SCHROLL, Realtor
MOUNT JOY, PENNA.
Read—The Bulletin
da
Road Stand, Restaurant
Gas Station ad Dwelling
For Sale
This entire outfit on a plot fronting 125 feet along the
concrete highway east of Mount Joy and 175 ft. deep.
House is new and has all conveniences. Also 2-CAR
GARAGE. Good reason for selling.
If you want a good location and everything right
up-to-date, don’t overlook this opportunity. Don’t de-
lay. Make it snappy if interested.
Call, phone or write.
Jno. E. Schroll
Phone 41] MOUNT JOY, PA.
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A WISE OWL
Just learned of a chap who really
makes more noise than I do when
I'm asleep. Like myself, many peo-
ple snore, but we have a man in
town who actually whistles in his
sleep. Really he is so noisy that
when he awoke the other morning
there were nine dogs in bed with
him.
Did you ever hear about the
Scotchman who had all his teeth
pulled, then he didn’t need to buy
any more gum, He chewed his own.
We have a fellow here who is al-
most as tight. He is getting ready to
build a new house and the other
day he telephoned up to the Mason-
ic Homes, at Elizabethtown and ask-
ed if they would send down three
or four Free Masons.
I feel a poem coming on so I'll get
it over with.
Oh, I never could believe it,
Though 1 often have been told,
That a fire's always hottest
Whenever it is coaled.
While returning from Sunday
School on Sunday a little fellow
from Mount Joy street had the mis-
fortune to fall down in the rain
and tear his pants.
When he reached home his mother
asked, “Did you fall down in your
good pants, Robert?” And Robert
replied: “Yes'm, I didn’t have time
to take them off.”
Here's a new version of the old,
old poem, “Mother, may I go out to
swim ”’
Mother, dear, may I take a swim
Yes, my darling daughter;
You look so much like a
limb
You'd better stay in the water.
hickory
Speaking of the Gold Standard,
the NRA the CWA and the national
debts, at a Rotary meeting recently,
Grant Gerberich suggested that if
everybody would buy a horse the
country would soon be stabalized.
There's a certain chap at the
Shoe Factory who told me, now that
Mae West has decided to join a Nu-
dists colony, he'd like to be a mos-
quito.
I was visiting a sick friend last
night and he complained of continu-
ously having cold feet. I told him
that he ought to use a hot water
bottle to keep them warm and he
said: “That wont do any good. 1
tried that but I can’t get my toe in
the little hole at the top of the bot-
tle.”
I was up at the post office the oth-
er day and Dan Brubaker was ad-
dressing a convalescence card to that
sick friend of mine. I couldnt help
but see what he had written on one
corner of the card and I certainly
was surprised for I never knew that
Dan was Scotch.
Just under the verse that had the
usual “Get Well Quick” meaning
Dan had written, “Please return this
card immediately as I have another
sick friend I want to send it to.”
Not so long ago while walking in
the mountains I came upon one of
those old, ready-to-fall-down, back-
woods shacks that are not fit to in-
habit but never fail to house an un-
usually large family.
I knocked on the door to ask for
a glass of water and when it was
opened I saw a crowd of children.
“Having a party?” I asked. “No,”
replied the old-backwoods woman,
who had answered my knock, “They
are all my children.”
“How many children do you have?
I asked. “I don’t know,” she re-
plied, “I never counted them.” “But”
I insisted, “How do you know when
they're all in at night ” “1 don’t,’
she said, I just wait till the house is
full and then I lock the door.”
And that, my dear readers, is the
original story of the old woman who
lived in a shoe.
“Stuffy” Klugh tells me that he
MN
{
UMBER-COAL
can’t understand why his girl is
OWL LAFFS HEALTH TALK
WRITTEN BY DR. THEODORE B |
APPEL, SECRETARY OF
HEALTH
“While tuberculosis has lost its
pre-eminent position as the master
killer in Pennsylvania and is now the
| number six on the list of public ene-
mies, there is no justifiable reason
for anyone to be satisfied with the
present situation,” states Dr. Theo-
dore B. Appel, Secretary of Health.
“It has been estimated that the
annual tuberculosis cost in the Unit-
ed States approximates one billion
dollars. Almost 315 million dollars
are wasted annually through loss of
future earning power caused by
death, 300 millions more through the
loss of wages, and an additional 150
millions for treatment. To this col-
ossal outlay must be added the in-
calculable cost in direct and indirect
misery and suffering chargeable
against the Great White Plague.
“No one appreciating these facts
can complacently view the present-
day tuberculosis problem. And this
even in the face of a net saving of
at least 1,100 lives a year due to
sanatorium care of tuberculosis cas-
es, and the further fact that of the
800,000 persons who have passed thru
the sanatoria in the United States
during the last ten years, nearly
600,000 are still alive.
“It should be observed that, in
spite of the really great strides
which have been made against this
malady, much more needs to be
done if a real conquest is to be
achieved.
“Higher standards of living, pro-
tection of the milk supply, elimina-
tion of slum districts, and other
factors contributing to hygienic liv-
ing have played important parts in
the great fight thus far made. How-
ever, the situation now demands,
and indeed has demanded for years,
that the individual citizen has a
clearer conception of his personal
duty in the fight than he now poss-
esses.
“The common danger signals of
tuberculosis are: A continuous tired
feeling: loss of weight; a persistent
cough; indigestion; pain in the chest
and spitting of blood. These signals
do not necessarily mean that tuber-
culosis has developed, but they call
for an immediate professional check-
up.
“It is at this point where thous-
ands of persons fall down. Tubercu-
losis in the home is thus spread,
particularly to children; and the vi-
cious circle remains unfortunately in
tact.
“When the average citizen fully
realizes that tuberculosis is a pre-
ventable disease; that it is not di-
rectly inherited; that it is acquired
by direct transmission of the tuber-
cle bacillus from the sick to the
healthy; and thus recognizing early
symptoms, takes the necessary steps
to prevent the spread of the infec-
tion, the death rate from tuberculo-
sis will definitely and satisfactorily
diminish.
“Public health, represented by the
clinics and sanatoria, has and will
continue to do much, but personal
cooperation by way of early recog-
nition and control is the next step
forward.”
cross at him and I suggested that he
probably said something that she
didn’t like.
“Stuffy” said he wouldn't know
what he had said that was out-of-
the way because the last time he saw
her the following conversation is all
they said to each other and then she
turned her back, walked away and
refused to speak to him again.
Stuffy’s femme: “You embarrassed
me at the dance at McElroy’s last
night. Your handkerchief hung out
under your coat all evening.”
Stuff: “That didn’t need to embar-
rass you. It ‘wasn’t my handkerchief
....it was my shirt.”
(And he still can’t
why she’s cross.)
understand
Women find that these six-cylinder
bachelors are mostly runabouts af-
ter they’re married.
There’s a certain student in the
Junior class of our High School who
wants to know, “if he got fifty in
his intelligence test, would that
make him a half-wit ”
Met one of our newly married
wives at the Acme store yesterday
and I said: “Have you much room
in your new flat?” “Mercy, no!” she
replied, “my kitchen and dining
room are so small, I have to use
condensed milk.”
The laziest man we can imagine
is one who sits up all night to keep
from washing his face in the morn-
ng.
Clarence Kauffman out at Sport-
ing Hill said:
I paid $500.00 for my dog.”
What kind? I asked.
Part bull and part collie, he said.
What part is bull, I interrogated.
The part about paying $50000 for
6
GEY (HE CARDS.
ALL | WANT OUT
OF You BIRDS
“(ONIGHY (S
ENOUGH TO
BUY CHAINS
For MY AUTO.
“THAT LITTLE GAME’;
2 Tr
You'RE A
FENWICK.
(HATS SURE| SOMEWHERE,
HE MEANS
GOLD CHAINS
LETTING US
“(HERE'S
ENTLEMAN,| A CATCH
tN, IY
DOWN
EASY-
3
AH HA-
HERE'S
THE
OTHER
CHRONIC
WINNER
HELLO
MURPHY
\
SAY, MURFF,—
FENWICK WANTS
US To BUY HIM
i AUTO CHAINS,
| WHAT'LL You
HAVE ?
OHy Vi
TARE
WHATS
LEFTY.
/
-
Nh:
ATION
»
Ordered To Report!
EW YORK, Oct. 10.—Gosh, what
a thrill! Here are my orders to
Join the Second Byrd Antarctic Ex-
pedition. The youngest member of
the crew.
I'm going to the South Pole! To
Little America—if Little America
is still there, deep under the snow
where it was left by the Admiral
and his men in January, 1931.
Maybe I'd better tell you who I
am and what this is all about. I
am 22 years old. Just graduated
from Harvard last June. My father
is Captain Arthur Abele, U. S. N,,
retired. He is now stationed at the
Boston Navy Yard
in charge of the
Massachu-
setts Nautical |&
School Ship, the
U. 8. 8S. Nan-|3
tucket. One of my
grandfathers
George Sanford,
has been in the
oil business for
more than 50 :
years. Admiral Byrd
It would seem, therefore, that I
come by two things naturally—love
of sea adventure and my interest in
automotive lubrication problems. I
am going as fuel engineer of the Ex-
pedition and, believe me, it’s going
to be a big job. We are carrying
every type of automotive engine—
in monoplane, biplane, auto-gyro,
snow-mobile, tractor, oil-driven
steamship, outboard motor boat,
auxiliary sailing vessel and a motor
boat cruiser. There are engines of
every type on this amazing Expedi-
tion, air-cooled, water-cooled, en-
gines for self-contained electrical
generator units, even a Diesel en-
gine.
Our leader, Rear-Admiral Byrd,
|
tells me we shall do ten times as!
much flying as any polar expedi-
tion ever did before. And he prom:
ises to make me an expert aviator
during our stay at the bottom of
the world. What a thrill! I have
been less than 30 minutes in the
air and now I am going up against
the most dangerous and most diffi-
cult conditions that ever confronted
a rookie flyer. For the past two
months I have been studying the
rudiments of fuel and oil engineer-
ing at one of the big oil plants in
Bayonne, N. J.
For many long months, once we
leave our base in New Zealand, we
shan’t see a tree, a blade of grass,
or any living thing except a few
penguins, seals, gulls, killer whales
and our own men and dogs, not for-
getting Snow Shoes, our six-toed
kitten. There is nos wild life at the
AM thicy)
‘and EXPLORATION
.| pert, over at
South Pole such as there is arounc
the North Pole —no polar bears
walruses—practically nothing.
Rear Admiral Richard E. Byrd
our famous leader, has spent the
past two years preparing and gath-
ering supplies for our journey —
14,000 separate items! He has ap
plied modern efficiency to explora:
tion to an extent that permits us
now to say that no other Polar
Expedition ever set out with such
an array of equipment. There are
85 of us besides Admiral Byrd.
I am reporting today to our big
10,000-ton flagship, the Jacob Rup-
Tide Water Pier No.
3 in Bayonne, where we shall take
on immense supplies of oil, gaso-
line and fuel oil. Then off for Nor-
folk for the big farewell radio party
and more equipment.
Admiral Byrd is taking me with
him for a very interesting reason.
He is one of the greatest aviation
enthusiasts in the world and he be-
lieves that the rapid development
of American aviation depends large-
ly upon the youth of the country.
Therefore he is taking me along
as a representative of the millions
of young people of the United
States. In order to deal more di-
rectly with the young aviators of
the future, he has asked me to help
or anize the “Little America Avia-
tion and Exploration Club.” This
we are now doing and I invite
|everybody in the country who is
of high school age or over, and who
is interested in aviation, explora-
tion or adventure, to join it. There
are no dues, no membership fees,
no oblix s whatever.
Admiral Byrd and I held an elec-
tion and | was elected president of
[the Club We shall establish execu-
[tive headquarters for the club at
[Little America in the bleak and icy
Antarctic. For the duration of the
Expedition, how ever, we shall have
headquarters in the United States,
where I invite you to write me im-
| mediately.
To everyone who sends me a
|stamped, self-addressed envelope,
|at the Little America Aviation and
Expl ration Club, at the Hotel Lex-
ington, 48th Street and Lexington
Avenue, New York City, our Ameri-
| can Headquarters, I will send a
{membership card in the club. Later
| T will send to each member a prac-
tical working map of the Polar re-
gions we expect to visit so that you
| will be able to trace every step of
our adventures by following these
weekly letters I shall be addressing |
to the club. Send in your member
ship application. We are going to
have a lot of fun together for the
next two years.
him, he replied. A WISE OWL
There is no better way to boost your
business than by local newspaper ad-
vertising.
You can get all the news of this lo-
cality for less than three cents a week
through the Bulletin.
¥
lost
will surbrise
Use Our wiNu. prog
(UT copy
OZ ==> Xn
SOHAUM'S AUDITORIUN
P2
Tues., Thurs.,, Sun. 8 to 11 P. M.
For Private Parties
Call Ephrata 52M
ALL KINDS OF
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We Specialize in Log Sawing
at our Mill
SAMUEL HEISEY
SS R. 1, MOUNT JOY
Phone 292L2 Columbia, Pa.
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