Doneg:a + Gramma geries of 6¢rs-of was he Saturd the us time “Rev toue’ hav M: m Sta co’ la’ 5 (\7} vie W lolent Violinists bo By GEfE| FOWLER A White Hou fymphony lasts four years of actual p} ring, with an encore of four more for § od, bad and indiffer- ent behavior. T rest of the time to is spent bj he audience in pay- fiddler. ¢ come ing the Two aspiring| Asicians are bi iding for the job of of Hard and] entries, “Ysaye” the to right and jert-meister Cox are from Ohio to that Rome {eeping theory list burned, gove rament ar hitects are ting plenty pf buildings while put- new bow on his al virtu- which billiards, . bridge osos have makes it la game of Indian Piute tenni » whist combined. T'he Presid al is coming gar- nished two in and going adminis out ified tl music Som¢ tration wer has che went tol the Peace T stolen and came charm. It wap jour harmony ith voices sweet 1 comes the of “YS¢ re’ H: i 1 2S lele. | But it catch! the basernents of the nation, blissful coma that over- Fro | twang chin uku- ting to the interes mteres noise iat rises from where the voterrs are drifting into vhille warming up f the shock travels with the White House turd iron lears Croheus made the cast Mito’ 1 luto’s cheek. trickle down I It was the metal that ever escaped the steel But the wnism when he looked backward. Democratic, with only trust. mech Orpheus gummed This proved he was reservations. If he and then gone backward with strides, had looked back- ward arrived at, it open oper wouldn’t have been essary for “Kubelik” Cox to bring more music to the scene at this la that Cali iis violin to the pet Immediately after heard “Kubelik” Cox expects “take fornif”” by playing seals of the Pacific Ocean, the ex- It was the final thirst. Kaiser made his will. stray that broke the | It rdminded the former Emperor-ol all- camel's croaked take Bi- rack he will chlgride with an article X chaser. the is tips out of the-Bock-Beers of the about taking Paris. He Wall the i: Flischer, the prophet of Street tremor, got air] “Kubelik” Cox is grabbing his out of /the hollow candle of a League of Najtions chandelier, where they pump noighing but laughing gas distilled from It all contributes to the Brazil nuts. nd dance, but the dance is! named after St. Vitus. Harding claims the ct ggneral ong {“Ysaye” | from pa ying a hornsR the village band to rubbing the G =A on a Presiden- tial violin will be like growing : ( after you get used to €s breakfast food without cream Mischa Both candidates declare that Elm: Debs hasn't a look in for chair of the first violin. They clai } } he can't read the notes beyond the firs few bars. “Kubelik"” that -tenths of didn’t print the example the failure of some to piped in California the He cit Cox nine newspapers ews. d as an publish hi acceptance of the nomination. But that wasn't news. He was looking in the wrong column fiddler's violin was strung with starters in San diego not that doors of didn’t mention the “Family Entrance,” or choose “ygaye” Harding composer enough for him to strum along with. from called phia on that were trator of Pennsylvania, and Frank B. McClain, sioner. amount. reduction in price embrace virtually to Easton, risburg and Altoona. be the freight rates would enter into the sell- ing price. b. to these places will be the same as compromise, as ces Association, in the Heed Building. Producers’ against a cents. crops were prices wre and iready declared and yoliey public. A Clain aid the now It was an obituary. Playing the tune of “Prohibition, Wehre Is Thy Sting?’ the Democratic bung- He said it was until he become Governor of Ohio the and front closed. He the “back doors saloons were side door, which is double-jointed n the sign language. violinists pet Monroe, Each of our violent the master works of a thinks of “Doctrine,” is the good “Kubelik” Cox will choose something the He will saw a “The Le: » of “It’s the best British school of jazz brew- sour rhapsody Nations.” thing ever composed,” cracks Cox. “Composed?” No! “Decomposed.” Two-Cent Cut 1s The retail price of “B"” grade milk will fall two cents a quart in Philadel- December 1. A decision to effect was reached last week at six-hour conference of milk ypro- ducers, dealers and manufacturers of dairy products Participating also in the deliberation Dr. Charles L. King, milk arbi- price commis- State fair The drop represents the exact differ- ence in price which the dealers will pay to the farmers. The dealers agreed to let the public benefit by the full Other areas affected by the all of Delaware and New Jersey, and in Pennsylvania the charge will extend Reading, New York, Har- It was said that in other towns and cities the price would not necessarily game as it is to be here as But the farmer's price f. 0. is here. The decision was reached at a closed session, but it is understood the reduc- tion agreed to was in the nature of a many of the dealers urged a much more drastic reduction. The conference took place in the offi- of the Interstate Milk Producers’ Willits, president of the Milk Association led the fight reduction than two PB greater argument was that grain put in last spring when His wore highest oll duc 53 +tilin labor. Wheat and corn have broken in prices, but it should was that milk not come down at this time. the milk dealers that the the break in cur- The arguments of producers was sensible was to follow nt prices ¢ : demanded by the tentative plan was lo re- one cent a quart on De Wd to follow it with a simi Mr. Mc not a ee to that must without milk reduction on January Ll. would and entire reduction Come That was agreed to nuch dissension. will | “The farmers willing to their losses in the face of a deciding are demand and in the interest of an early readjustment back to normal,” said Mr. Willits. “Milk is an commodity and we are going to place it in the forefront in the voluntary cut in prices.” essential Dr. King said the new price would make milk in the market here approxi- mately five cents cheaper than it ie in that in the eighteen cities. It is said New City and Cleveland eighteen cents, other York was and one-fourth cents, Pittsburgh, Bal- price Boston, timore and St. Louis sixteen cents. Predicts Big Drop in Milk Omaha—Prediction of what he re- ferred to as a serious drop in milk and butter prices was made in an address at the Chamber of Commerce last week before Omaha business men by Wilbur, of Maryville, O., executive committee of George M. head of the the Ohio Wool Growers’ us a Association. serious drop because “There is facing and butter Danuish will in at the rate of pounds a month,” Mr. Wilbur said. At the same time,” he added, “more than $50,000, worth of American evaporated milk is piled up in New York. It cannot be lack of export demand and factories closing all in milk prices soon be coming 500,000 butter sold for condensing are over the country.” By Damon Runyon In Which Mr. Mugg Shows How a Man May Be Deceived by a Lot of Noise I am reading in the papers the other day about how the Republican ¢ carry the State of Maine by a terrible plu- makes a lot of with ality, and I will say it noise in political circles, what will cure saying it means they rest of this the big election comes off. everybody the pop when Personally I hope and trust there is carry country much truth in what they say, because Harding will win along I bet a guy five bucks and I that about election time as next man, but I never take much stock can use five bucks much as in noise since the time my friend Jeff Rambo sells the bull frogs. This Jeff Rambo is a stock or some such, positive guy I ever see in all my He will never admit he is wrong about makes it all exasperating to and all is right, when they anything, and w hat more one that he is generally are figuring him to be wrong. Anybody can stand for a guy al ways claiming to be right if they know sure to be wrong, but naturally claim he is everybody hates to hear a guy he je right, "nd then have him prove it. Well, anyawy, one eating Jeff fine eating ¢ this Rambo and I are dinner joint uptown, and orders legs, which are ver) times. When Jeff finds out that they have charged him the ek ¢ sg along a bucl yits for these frogs’ lees. which is a way of saying a dollar wenty-five, and he lets out a terrible roar about the matter. H ether too much, | le says it is altos | and he will be dumbed 11 he will yap | call joint, and explain Jeff's squak to | 1 t. in the guy who runs | the So they Girl Scouts’ Ten Golden Rules To Be Pulpit Topic For Ministers Of The Nation FA MERRY little girl in khaki is ‘A appearing on brick walls, fence posts, and si nboards in every corner of the United States and her territories. She is the Girl Scout poster girl and she smiles down on Americans from New York to Cali- fornia, and from Alaska to Hawaii and Porto Rico, to remind them of the Girl membership cam- paign, November 6th to the 15th. The Girl Scouts are asking for $1,033,400 to take care of the thou- sands of girls who must now be turned away every month. The cam- paign is to be a Dollar Membership Campaign, and everybody who be- lieves in training girls in home- making, citizenship and health-build- ing is asked to become an associate member. ¥% Girl Scout Week one for every town and community where Girl Scouts are organized. THe first day the Girl Scouts will have a service parade, after which they will visit children’s and babies’ wards in homes and hospitals to carry harvest offerings of fruit and flowers to the little patients. One of the features of the campaign will be Daddies’ Day, a special day set aside for men to become Girl Scout Daddies at the bargain price of $15.00. A Girl Scout pageant written for the campaign will be staged by every Girl Scout organization throughout the nation. Even the Lone Scout, that little girl who is the sole mem- ber of a one-girl troop in some iso- lated corner, will try to put on a show and get associate members for the Girl Scouts. The pageant de- picts a week's calendar as lived by Girl Scouts, and the symbolic figures, Youth and Uncle Sam, will be repre- sented, with Youth showing Uncle Sam how she serves him day by day. Monday is wash day for Girl Scouts, as for everybody else in the world; on Tuesday, they cook; Wednesday they sew; Thursday is the Girl Scout's day for community service; on Friday she camps or hikes, Sat- urday is baby-tending day; and on Sunday the Scouts go to church. In New York, Marguerite Clark, the famous film actress, will take the art of Youth, and Williara R. Cor- motion picture actor who took thi" part of Uncle Sgm in “Uncle of Freedom Ridge”, will play e Sam for the Girl Scout Scouts will be a busy a Bd with rel Dia. Logan, BC pisey \ 128, 1. Hates on Thousands of Posters Tell which the Girl Scout movement stands. The Scout laws are: Girl Scout's honor is to be trusted; a Girl Scout is loyal; a [Girl Scout’s duty is to be useful 3nd to help others; a Girl Scout is friend to all, and a sister to eve ules on cuts a Gil Scout is ue Xe 5 Le ap rough was well represented Arm Products Show at Har. | Dyer an i yor and wife of Florin guests of relatives in the ood attended the rr Mrs. Sara : alebach an atives and friends pnry Heisey and 3 sey sz daught the guests of rel i] e week-end.’ 1 Market Hall Ct, last evening, as been appoin Nyman at the Be ln Zed + South Poplar street. Raffensberger, of Balti- ’as the guest of her par- affensberger and wife, pcond degree on a num- = . Zerphey ar BR W_ Main The If you'are HEATER, h funeral of ah Good at Mil d wife spent a atives at COOK the cartoonist, on South elsewhere and I will M # Tne C. 0. F. con- Thursday even- of Girl Scout Campaign Girl Scout is a friend to animals; a Girl Scout obeys orders; a Girl Scout is cheerful; a Girl Scout is, thrifty; a Girl Scout is clean in thought, word and deed. On Girl} Scout Sunday, the uniformed Girl Scoute will attend church with their captain i take ! him, and the guy tells Jeff that he has to pay eighty cents a pound for these frogs’ legs in the market. So then Jeff says to the guy like this: “Why,” Jeff says, “there is a pond over abeck of my house in New Jersey which is alive with bull frogs. I hear them hollering at night ,” Jeff says, “and,” he says, “if you are paying eighty cents a pound for frogs’ legs I will get rich off you.” “That is fair enough,” the guy says. “I will just as soon pay you for frogs’ legs as anybody else, and,” he says, “the price for your frogs’ legs will be eighty cents a pound.” “All right,” Jeff will be backing a wagon up to your joint in a few days. And,” he expect you to settle at once. Well, a week or so goes by, and the guy hears nothing much from Jeff, but I am keeping tab on what comes off, and I hear Jeff hires all the farmers around his joint in Jersey and sends them out to the pond to spear these says, “I says, “I bull frogs. He pays these farmers several bucks a day apiece to do the spearing, be- cause naturally Jeff figures with bull frogs selling at such good prices in the market, he afford to be liberal with the farmers. Well, one day later, Jeff shows up at the restaurant with a bucket in his hand, and in this bucket is a pound of frogs‘ they are not such good frogs’ legs, at that. Naturally the restaurant guy wants to know where are the rest of those can a couple of weeks legs and frogs’ legs which Jeff promises, and Jeff says like this: and the | broker, as he is about the most life. | the | of telephone { which is j cent of | paratus is | conduits ROOM SUITE, CARPETS R etc., call and see me : Wm. Darrenkamp must admit I “1 figured,” Jeff says, ‘from the noise these frogs “Well,” he am deceived in the noise. says, ‘1 are making over in that pond abck of my house that there must be millions of them, but,” he says, “it seems a few frogs can make just as much racket as a lot of frogs “Anyway,” Jeff says, “I am you can charge what you please for your frogs’ legs as far as I am con- cerned, because I know they are] scarce.” Phone Plant in Day Uses 272 Tons of Lead In an effort to increase the output the responsible for lack of the materials, mainly | present inability of the telephone com- | panies to supply new subscribers with the Western brought its Electric number of service, pany has em- factory at the Week, main Chicago, to ployes at its thorn 22.000 mark during : 3 a year ago. Virtually 95 the per world’s manufactured at the Haw- The area of 210 acres. thorne plant. factory ended material that During the year which June ymount of raw collected was transformed finished telephone equipment The essentials included 3,500,000 pounds of copper, 18,000,000 pounds of | steel, 100,000,000 pounds of lead, 1,000,- | 000 pounds of antimony, pounds of brass, 9,000,000 pounds of paper and 2,000,000 cotton yarns in addition, vanized iron and steel 12,000 silk and 10,000 tons of ¢ tons of pol feet feet of strand, line hardware, 24,000,000 1 wire and yer products, 12,000,000 and 10,000,000 glass insult the he Western Electric Com- tors were purchased in months by pany for its telephone consumers. On one rush day last month 272 tons lead while the .onsumption for a week was 1200 tons. that into was used, average C Figures also show 71,000 wire were made single week. Europe Underbids | U. S. in Argentina; | “In September,” says a report to the | Corn Exchange National Bank from | its Argentine representative, “the | American dollar was at a premium of | 22 1-2 per cent and practi rally bronght American business to a standstill. Va- rious firms were badly hit as large quantities of goods are arriving from the States, long past due and the mer- chants are raising quesitons as lo re- ceiving them on account of the late de- liveries. The fact is that they have overbought and the American dollar is too high to make the purchases profit- able. They buy the same goods in Europe at a lower price. also can “Furope’'s competition in hardware and strong at cotton goods, this moment and their prices are under those quoted from the States, even if the American exchange was normal. With reeard to the steel industry, plain xal- vanized wire from Germany is being quoted at $146 Argentine gold per ton, steel bars from Belgium and Germany at $95 Argentine gold per ton, steel specialties, wool iron, is very wrong, Com- | Haw-' against | transmission ap-| covers an into | 10,000,000 | pounds of | of Tum- | clay | twelve | miles | cable m a | plates, beams and shapes at $92 Ar- gentine gold The above prices are all c. i. f. Buenos Aires land per ton of 2240 pounds. American { mills are not quoting prices which will per ton. | |in any way compare with these and the orders are going to Europe. “The Obras Sanitarias de la Nacion have just placed an order for 19,353 | tons of cast iron pipe with a French firm at Pont-a-Mousson in France, in- | volving an outlay of 20,638,722 francs. | This pipe was bought at 1050 francs per ton of 1016 kilos, ec. i f. Buenos Aires, which is equal to $84 Argentine gold. The firms in the United States were exceedingly out of line in their quotations of approximately $110 American gold per ton, which at to- day's rate of exchange equals approxi- mately $130 Argentine gold.” A letter from a prominent United States merchant in Valpariso, Chile, dated October 16, says that there have been a number of local failures there | recently owing to speculation in such rice, coffee and local lines as sugar, agricultural products. Encouraging the Chilian situation are {the election of President Allessandri, | good agricultural prospects and good nitrate Nitrate heen | sold rv cently at the highest prices on | features of shipments. has | record. Current shipments are larger .{than current production. | | | Thusly quoth Farmer McRice— “Hunters nowdays are not nice, For yesterday one Loaded his gun And shot it off at me twice.” v ” “Oh, wifey, dear wifey, Come » home with Pled the new husband On his bended knees. But she would not go, though He pleaded and pled— “Wait’ll I bowl a game. Harry,” she said in need of a good STOVE, BED UGS, before buying save you money. 8% BUT (OU HAUG THEM IN BATTALIONS. THE FAMOUS SLOGAN wee, ~ LT IAD 8 Swi FUIGS IM A RESTAURANT CAN'T BE HELPED, YOU HAVE HEARD [THE FLY,” HAVEN'T YOU 2 = OF A NEW ONE — SWAT THE w = PROPRIETOR HERE IW “SWAT LZ 1'VE THOL GHWT -~er X = starting, light X mour ind seasons of / Liquor an’ Sociability Tell Binkley addressed our local cider makers at Melodeon Hall last night on “Th’ Relation o Liquor t’ Sociability.” Mr. Binkley told his hearers that he did not want t’ be un- derstood as bein’ o neither side o' th wet and dry question—that he wuz not in the pay o’ any league or society. He said further that it wuz neither his business or his ambition t’ purify any community, an’ that he proposed t’ speak o’ liquor as he knew it jest th’ same as if he wuz t’ discuss tornado insurance or any other subject with which he wuz familiar. He also said, “We're fortunate t’ be livin’ at a time when th’ world is bein’ made over as th’ result of a terrible conflagration that has taxed th’ resources o’ many nations. Millions o’ been turned back int’ th’ peaceful channels o' life; great factories and mills are: turnin’ ther energiies t’ th’ manufacture o th’ triplements 0’ peace; great international problems lookin’ toward lastin’ epace are bein’ discussed. Great as this overturnin’ is—great as will be th’ changes we'll undergo, whatever comes t’ us as a result o' th’ war ’ll be puny an’ in- significant compared t’ th’ awful jolt which awaits sociability when th’ last carload o' whiskey has been stolen from th’ Kentucky Fer a great many years it has been a gov- ernment offense t’ give a Injun liquor. Our government held that liquor de- stroyed a Injun’s usefulness, that it interfered with civilizin’ processes. Our government has held that a Injun under th’ influence 0’ liquor would often buy buggies an’ bicycles when he didn’t need ’em. That he would sometimes kill. Yit our government has not worried about how much liquor th’ white man guzzled or how many red vests an’ autos he bought while stewed. A Injun should have th’ same right t’ spend all his government pay fer Stetson hats as th’ white man has t’ fritter away his weekly pay fer beer an’ cloth top shoes. But we'll take up th’ social end o’ th’ booze game an’ talk about th’ temperate drinkers’ that have t’ load up t’ be affable. Some time ago 1 banquet. This banquet wuz timed fer seven o'clock. At six-thirty th’ guests men in arms have warehouses. thousan’s o’ attended a begun t’ assemble in the hotel lobby. Nobuddy was smilin’; nobuddy seemed t’ know anybuddy else; all chins wuz up; ther hand shakin’. It looked like a convention o’ door men. Ever’buddy wuz ill at ease an’ nervous. I saw several fellers I thought I knew, but I wuz afraid t’ approach ’em. At door t’ th’ banquet an’ we all filed in an’ By each wuz no seven sharp th’ room flew back took our places at th’ table. plate wuz a Kentucky toddy an’ a box minutes th’ o’ cigarettes. In two whole one broad smile; then the laughter an’ slaps on th’ abek. room wuz recognitions begun; then th’ A tall, pombous feller with a pink head culled feller” had been introduced to fort)” years ago in A little round feller cognized me me by name.’ He was a Joplin, Missouri. in nose glasses re across an’ knocekd four tables over gittin’ to ‘You but I know you,” he said. He turned out t’ be a feller 1 started t’ with forty-five years ago, an’ he'd lived Island, fer th’ last $ After they quit pourin’ wine an’ th’ pincipal ad- th’ room me. don’t know me, school in Providense, Rhode thirty-eight years. evenin’ had started, four- 10tel wuz dress o’ th’ fifths o th’ quests repaired t’ th’ where several quortettes It finally developed that ever’ cuest there knew me. 1 couldn’ recall them, but I glad t’ sec an’ t’ learn that they wuz abr formed. any o’ wuz ‘em all agin all prosperin’ beyond th’ dreams 0’ avarice. Several days after 1 got home I received a barrel o' applies, four fountain pens, three neckties, an’ four boxes 0’ cigars. Teacher—“What is a synonym?” Boy—“It’s a word you can use in place of another when you don't know how to spell the other one. rts Bar Veils According to English law, a woman witness must raise her veil and expose her face, so that the jury may judge by her features as to her truthfulness. Black Cat Held Safety Symbol British Cou The wives of many English fisher- men keep a black cat in the house, in the belief that doing so assures their husband’s safety at sea. Mexicans Use First Names In Mexico men and women in the same social circle call each other by their Christian names. Wise and Otherwise Little Freddie—*“I ’spect I ought to tell you that this ten cents is counter- feit.” Car Counductor—“What makes you think so-” Little Freddie—“Well, papa said money talked, and I had this a whole day and it hasn’t said a word.” Young Hopeful—“Papa, you'll let me cut off a lock of your hair, won't you?” The Pater—“Certainly, my boy! I am delighted to see that you have so much affection for your parents as to ask for a lock of hair by way of re- membrance.” Young Hopeful—“You see, papa, my tail, and 1 wanted to make it a new one.” rocking-horse has lost its “My boy,” said the young man’s father, “I am afraid your hard-up con- dition is the result of your idleness.” “Idleness!” was the indignant reply. “And this after I've walked fifty blocks today, trying to borrow ten dollars!” Ephraim!” his the’ gentleman in the hallway, “you “Dear niece Uncle exclaimed, me, as she met know how surprised I am to see Did you travel all the way from alone?” “Naw,” he replied deeply mont offe at the question as he put his cg “There were forty or people on the same train.” bag down. thorough in his s¢ asked Bosbysh “Is my son work, Mr. Pedagog?”’ “Yes, he is,” said the teacher. “h shows a tendency to go to thels : of everything. ss»in a few days.” Mr. Bouncer—“You should remein- ber, my son, that there is nothing at- not tained without labor. You need to get something for nothing Willie—“I get lots of nothing, expect lickings for anyhow.” In the Teacher—“Bobby Smart, give me the second grade grammar-- feminine of friar.” Bobby (briskly)—*“The feminine f friar is cook.” Fred—“What do argument?” Will—“Sound most Fred—What else?” Vill—“Nothing else, merely sound.” you think of my certainly “Come, Herbert, I expect your uncle today, and you must have your face washed.” “Yes, come?” ma: but s’posen he don’t “There, mamma’ as he gazed at the dromedary, “that the that had the last straw put on his back.” must be camel One of the Latest I think he will be foot said the small boy, * aw Y( a safe the § 't poinf] nd a decis inger isk, s _ ised t twent] ws, W 1o0me ed wi bell 5. (WS, be med as But 1 If yc o be s to tak 8. 0; to Pari id, to s +. The 1g had a away ng been rather some tif ‘hter, Cox ugh, is a pected th channel f{ is exceed an Mary r of any « of the mel tion in L4 sant as | thispered, is already , the TIs%en! e friend 'o So Mrs. I her daught ether or no jcultiés of ch have he told Vander} know. Bt y fixed, ind Deborah” is Belasco the te to be pro frome, I sh) teeze in ah a make it 3ds of people {d astounding 8. Mr. Belo e of his truly tees when he hatever he saw g the play. Ang thusiast must aracters. All | athe cast. a pa yw Yor} | DOG POWOO00ON0e I aT Vr F . : mid § b Sv a . jan, 4 Sh A 0k | : Wt (pays to : ® = ET