A SHORT STORY

Digging Up Elmer
. . » .
By SEWELL FORD

It ain’t often I push away their coia
when I might just as easy let it trickle
> into the cash drawer. But and
then I do.
ury,
now
because I don't like a face, and
it and look in the mirror without
blushin’,
ley Hatch.
“No use, Mr. Hatch,” says I,
ture Studio
couple of weeks.
he demands.
I expect, too, that
to shoot it to him cold.
thosand-dollar-fee would
have told him flat, without battin’ an
But I'd rather not. Still, it was
plain enough near the rocks he
was . He comes toddlin’ in here on his
was my
specialists
eye.
how
swollen feet, his breath short and
puffy, bags under his eyes and his
face the color of cigar ashes. You
know! rheumatic gout, arteries full of
carbon, liver on the fritz and a few
other little complaints. - And he ex-
pects me to put him in trim by half-
hour sessions with the medicine ball
and the apparatus.
“You're making the handicap
€ucavy, Mr. Hatch,” says I
“I don’t quite get you,
says he.
too
a
=F
>
“but ain't you hoistin’ in the
stock kind of liberal?”
shoulders careless. “Have to
about so much to get along on.
to it, you know.
do the trick.”
“It would help,” says I, “but
to skimp, too.
instance.
supper afterwards, ain't you?”
“Oh, come!” says hé.
something evenings, haven't 1
“Maybe,” says 1. “Depends on what
you call evenin’. And after
turned sixty—"
says he. “But Mrs. Hatch
turned sixty—bare—Ily forty.”
“Oh, I see!” says I. “Then It ain't
for me to map out any program. So
we'll just call it oft.”
“But see here, Professor,” he goes
on, “I'm in no condition to be dropped.
If you can’t help me you can at least
suggest something, can’t you?”
“Sure,” says I. “You won't follow
it though.”
“Let's hear, anyway,” says he.
_ “Well, says I, “where and how do
n you live—house, apartment—"
“Hatel suite,” says he, “at the Plu-
toria. Big, airy, sunny rooms, nice
and convenient, too.”
“That’s it,” says I, “too blamed con-
venient to the roof gardens and caba
rets. What you need is the country:
way out, where it'll be too long a trip
to motor in after dinner. I'd prescribe
golf, too. Silly game, but it keeps
you out in the open, and after you've
whaled around a three-mile course
you'll be glad to hit the hay and
let somebody else stay up to watch
the Broadway chickens do the new
shiver steps and consume fiilet mig-
non at 1.30 A. M. That's my dope.
Swap your Looey cans suite for a
20-acre estate near some country club
and go to it with a niblic. After six
months of that I might be able to find
something to build on. Not that I look
for you to do anything of the kind.
The midnight rounder habit is too hard
to break, ’'specially when there's two
in the fam’'ly that’s got it.”
“Huh!” says he, starin’ at me, and
I could see that jutty chin of his sort
of stiffenin’. “Think I couldn't en?
I'll just show you, young man. Get
your hat.”
“Why the hat?” says I.
“Want you to help me pick out a
place,” says he. “Oh, 1 know your
time is valuable. I'll square that, all
right. Let's go.
I must say I hadn't figured on gettin’
in quite so deep as that when I umn
loaded all that near-expert advice.
But Ridley Hatch had sort of called
my hand. Besides, he's one of these
impetuous old boys who wants what
he wants when he wants it, and gen-
erally gets it. He has the limousine
waitin’ at the curb, too. So off we
goes.
About the second block he concludes
he ought to stop for a word with Mrs
Hatch, as he might he late gettin’
back. I expect it was the wise thing
to do , but when he comes out of the
hotel the lady trails along, too. She's
some flossy dame, I'll say; one of these
ex-show girl types that still remembers
when she was a perfect 36 and ain't
quit strugglin’ to hold somewhere
near that. And with the help of the
henna bottle and French face enamel
she can show rather a vivid color
scheme. The littl edomestic debate
which must have started up on the
tenth floor is still going on.
“But what's the big idea, Dearie?”
she is askin’ him. “Why the sudden
dash out into the country?”
“A suggestion of Professor Mc-
Cabe’s,” says he, “that I'm following
up. I doubt if you'll be interested,
hasn't

Sometimes just as a lux-
then again—well, because I can’t take
Same as in the case of Rid-
after
he'd been coming to the Physical Cul-
reg’lar every day for a
“Eh?” says he, bristlin’ them bushy
gray eyebrows of his. swap a little off-hand repartee? 1
“We ain't gettin’ anywhere,” says |hadn’t known much of this Ridley
I. “And what's more, we ain’t likely [Hatch party before, except that he was
to.” vice-president of the whisk-broom
“But why not, Professor McCabe?’ |trust, or some useful combine like
cue to
Any of these
McCabe,”
“Course, I'm only guessin’,” says I,
privte
“Oh, that!” says he, shruggin’ his
have
Used
But perhaps I might
ease up a little if you think that would
1
judge there's other things you'd have
This 2 A. M. stuff, for
Kind of strong for the caba-
rets and the roof gardens and the little
“Got to do
you've
“Yes, that's all very well, McCabe,’
“ ‘Elmer T. Hatch, Proprietor.’
relations of yours?”
he.
you somewhere and—"
“No.” breaks in Gladys decided.
"“You may be hitting on all
just now, Dearie, but you're rather a
frisky old boy and you'll stand watch-
ing. Of what you and the
Professor have framed up may be per-
fectly all right, but if I go along 1
won't need to ask Ouija to be sure.
Will I, old dear?” And she pats him
playful on the shoulder.
Surprisin’, ain't it,
can sketch the complete
auo of of a couple, just by hearin’ ’em
not six
course,
how sometimes
you status
that, anyway, he was a minor plute,
with an income runnin’ into six figures
since the war profits had begun rollin’
in, and he'd gone groggy in the knees
trying to spend it the way he thought
a perfect gent ought to scatter it
around.
But now I get the rest of the pic-
Not that I could tell just how
ago it since he discovered
ture.
long
Gladys on the Casino roof or the Win-
Maybe their little
romance was six or eight years old.
He hadn't picked out a broiler exactly.
If you ask me I'd say it was Gladys
who did the pickin’, and that mainly
she had her eye on his check book.
Anyhow, here they were, millin’
around under the white lights every
night with thGdsands of other couples
more or less like ’em, tryin’ to buy
a good time, no matter what the cost.
Which is why so many head waiters
can afford to retire and own hotels
of their own and the cabarets can
still soak on a $3 cover charge and
get away with it.
Anyhow, it's clear that Gladys had
a good line on her Dearie and that
while Ridley Hatch might be the big
noise in some circles he wasn’t the
whole show when when he opened the
door of what he called home. Still,
he had kind of a rugged jaw and there
was no tellin’ when he might grab
the helm.
“Whereabouts in the country are we
headed, Dearie?” asks Gladys as we
roll out through Penham Parkway.
“Can’t say,” says Ridley. “Just ex-
ploring.”
“What a cute little notion!” says
Mrs. Hatch. “Oh, well.” And she
settles back in her corner of the limou-
sine registerin’ patience.
She needed it, I'll say, for we bowls
on and on, through Stamford and Dar-
ien and other interestin’ spots, finally
branchin’ “off the Post Road and
strikin due north into the heart of the
breakfast doughnut zone. Course,
Ridley hadn't given the chauffeur any
definite sailin’ orders, and with ull
them Connecticut cross roads branch-
in’ every which way it's no wonder
he finally got twisted up.
“If the game is to get yourself lost,
Dearie,” suggests Mrs. Hatch, “I think
you've won. That being the case, why
not have luncheon?”
“Show me a place and we will,”
Ridley. “I've been hoping to
see something that looked like a hotel
for the last hour.”
“Back on the main road,” says
Gladys, “I saw several signs telling
how far it was to Hollyhock. Inn.
Couldn't we find that?”
“We'll try,” says Ridley. “Sounds
like one of these silly roadside tea
rooms, though, where they need nearly
an hour to build imitation club
sandwich. Perhaps we can run across
a regular place.”
We couldn’t though, and when we
sighted another Hollyhock Inn sign,
along about 3:15, Ridley tells the
driver to make for it. So half an hour
later we rolls in between a row of
tall elms and ur.oads at this near
painted white farmhouse affair with
the green shutters. On the south
side, probably where the cow yard
used to be, they've built a wide briel
terrace and around three sides is is
laid out an old-fashioned garden. That,
with the green iron tables and the
striped umbrellas over ’em, and the
view down the valley, makes it kind
of a nice spot.
“If the eats are as good as the lay-
out,” says I, “we’re in luck.”
The rosy-cheeked country girl who
comes out to take our order recom-
mends the broiled chicken with waffles
and strained honey if we can wait
less’n half an hour.
“Listens good to me,” says Ridley.
“Eh Shall we make it unanimous?”
There wasn’t a dissentin’ note, and
while Mrs. Hatch wanders ints the
was
ter Garden chorus.
says
an

make,
Gladys.
start housekeeping.”
Ridley, gazin’ sort of vague at the
name on the menu. “Elmer had the
chance that I had, only he
wouldn't take it. 1 even offered to
help him get a start in the same line
I'd gone into. But no, he would stick
to the little one-horse town. Said he
didn't like the city. Wanted to get
out and moon around over the hills,
watch the birds and all that tommyrot.
Mushy, sentimental cuss, Elmer.
You'd never think we were brothers
at all. I tried to talk some sense into
his head. No use. He thought he
knew,
“So by the time I had piled up my
first ten thousand and bought a third
interest in the business Elmer was
still raising a few chickens and fuss-
ing with flowers. The last time I was
back there I made him one more offer,
which he turned down. I told him I
was through—then there was Kitty.”
“Girl in the case, too, was there?”
Ridley nods. “One of the finest,”
says he. “When 1 first went away she
half promised to wait until I came
back for "x I thought she would,
too. Oh, I'clon’t mean that I wrote
her every week, or anything like that.
1 suppose I'd been playing around
some with others, too. But when 1
found her again, looking sweeter and
daintier than ever, I knew she was
the only one. 1 told her so. But she
didn’t care to listen. It seems Elmer
had cut me out. She was teaching
school and waiting until Elmer could
save up enough to marry her. As
though Elmer ever would. I put it
to him flat, trRed to show what an in
justice it was to Kitty and to me.
But all I could get out of Elmer was a
sneer and an invitation to win Kitty
if I could, and if I couldn't to clea out
and let him alone. So I cleared out
and I haven't heard from him since.”
“More than thirty years,” says
Ridley “I wonder if this—this Elmer
Hatch could be the——I say, Shorty,
here come the waitress. Suppose you
sound her out a bit."-
“Sure,” says I. And while the girl
is settin’ up the table I proceeded to
“1 say, sister,” says I, “whe
party that runs the
same
quiz her.
this Hatch
place?”
“You mean Elmer?” says she. “Why
he—he's just Elmer, you know.”
“J says I, nudgin’ Ridley.
“Somewhere around, is he?”
“Oh, yes,” says she. “He's In the
kitchen.”
“Sort of superintendin’, eh?” I sug-
gests.
“He's broiling the
she. “He’s the cook.”
“You don’t say ” says I. “A man
cook? What sort of a party now, is
this Elmer?”
“Why, he's awfully nice,” says the
girl. “Everybody likes Elmer, you
you know.”
“Of course there is,” says the girl.
“What does she do while Elmer's
cooking?” I asks.
“Why, she manages things,”
the girl. “She's awfully smart, Mrs.
Hatch is.”
“I expect she has a first name, too?”
I suggests.
“Oh, yes,” says
calls her Kitty.”
“There you are, Ridley,” says I, as
th e waitress flits back towards the
kitchen. “Odd, ain’t it?”
“It’s all of that,” says he. So Elmer
has dropped to this—cook in a road
house; while Kitty is—say, I wonder
what Kitty thinks of him now?”
“There’s no tellin’,” says I. “Maybe
she thinks he's+a good cook. We'll
soon have a chance to judge for our-
is
”
see,
chickens,” says
says
the girl “Elmer
selves.”
“S.s-sh!” says Ridley. “Here's
Gladys. She mustn’t know.”
But Gladys has made a discovery
of her own that she’s enthusiastic
about. “Say, Dearie,” she breaks out
“you ought to see the swell old ma-
hogany in there. Every room just
full of it, and the dearest lot of old
braided rugs. There's the nicest
landlady, too; oh, a perfect peach,
with gray hair and natural pink in her
cheeks and the stunningest figure.
But’ perhaps I'd better not let you see

2
“I—I—think I'll step out and have
a word with the chauffeur, says he.
“Better jot, Dearie,” says Gladys.
“I may need a chaperone when I meet
that—Oh, here he is now! And the
lady manager, too.”
It was the manager lady who opens
the talk. “I am very glad our cook-
ing pleases you,” says she. “And did
one of you wish to—why, isn’t this
Ridley?”
At that the cook person follows her
glance and opens his mouth. “Sure
it's Ridley,” says he. “Well, of all
things!”
“Hello, Kitty,” says Ridley.
dy, Elmer.”
“But 1 say,” gasps Gladys, “How
long has this been going on, anyway
This Kitty-Eimer stuff? Dearie, fess
up. Who is this Elmer?”
“Only my brother,” says Ridley.
“Wha'a-t?” says Gladys. “Your—
your brother? Why, you never told
me you had one!”
“No,” says Ridley. “I wasn’t sure
that I had, and even if I had been
sure—well, I might not have men-
tioned him. So you've taken up cook-
ing, eh, Elmer? How long since?”
“About five years ago,” says Elmer.
“H-m-m!” Ridley. “Couldn’t
make a go of anything else?”
“Couldn’t seem to,” Elmer,
smilin’ cheerful. “Guess cooking was
what I was cut out for, after (4?
“I dare say,” comments Ridtef. sor
of curlin’ his lip. “Like it, do you?"
“How-
says
says
“Oh, yes,” says Elmer. “That is,
next to raising flowers. But here !
can do both, you see,” and he waves
towards the garden.
“Huh!” Ridley.
money in either, I judge.”
“No,” says Elmer. ‘Not much, but
enough.
“What about you, Kitty?” demands
Ridley. “Enough for you, too?”
“Quite,” says Kitty. “We are very
happy and contented here, Elmer and
I. He's the same dear, absurd Elmer,
you see.”
Ridley gruints.
says he. “How about winters?
do you do then?”
“Oh, Elmer builds his wooden bird
houses and garden sticks,” says she,
“and I attend to filling his mail orders
You've seen them advertised, haven’t
you—Hatch’s bird houses? And even-
ings we do a lot of reading. It's quite
cozy here with the furnace and the
big fireplaces. Elmer likes being in
the country so much, you know, and
we keep so well and—But you've
changed a lot, Ridley.”
“Why not? says he he.
at—at our age.”
“Of course,” says Kitty. “And this
is your wife, I suppose?” With which
she glances curious at Gladys.
Ridley only nods and keeps his chin
down,
“Oh,
says Not much
“l suppose so,”
What
“One does
come, Dearie!” breaks in
Gladys. “Why so enthusiastic ”” Then
she turn to Kitty. “But don't you
mind him,” she goes on. He's a good
deal of a wreck, Ridley is, and his
disposition is something fierce. But
he has managed to connect with the
big money, I'll say that for him. So
I guess we ought to be satisfied.”
“That's the main thing, isn’t it?”
says Kitty.
I don't: know how chummy they'd
have gotten, to be if Ridley hadn’t
crashed in with a growl about havin’
to start back for tows.
“But I thought you wanted to ex-
plore the country?’ protests Gladys.
“Oh, that was McCabe's fool idea,”
says Ridley. “I've explored enough
for one day; quite enough thank
you..
“What's the matter?” says I, “as we
piles into the limousine. “Got some
more cook brothers scattered around,
and afraid you'll dig em up, eh?”
“Do you know,” says Gladys, haif
an hour late, “I think Elmer must
be rather nice. One of the quiet kind,
but I'll bet there's a lot of fun in him.
And he certainly can cook.”
“Huh!” grunts Ridley, glarin’ out of
the window.
Standard Packages
Many shippers believe that certain
products can be very materially helped
by the use of better adapted contain-
ers. Most new packages introduced
have originated with manufacturers’
selling agencies. It is not greatly to

the credit of our farmers that the loose
bottom hamper and th¢ Georgia car-
rier were almost forced upon them
by the manufacturers and the produce
dealers . Even the present standard
weights and measures act did not
originate with those who are most
affected and most benefited: For
years, unscrupulous hucksters have
bought fruit in 16-quart baskets and
sold them again in baskets holding
but 14 quarts. The cranberry grow-
ers through their well-organized so-
ciety have adopted a particular bar-
rel suited to the purpose.

Quantity Buying
There are numerous groups of peo-
ple, especially in the large office build
ings, who buy certain standard articles
in quantity. In this way 50 to 200
pounds of butter are bought each weel.
direct from the creamery. Although
the custom of buying such things as
potatoes in the fall has gone out of
practice among women in general, a
number of carloads are purchased each
fall by women’s organizations in many
cities. Apples and oranges also arc
bought in quantities in this way.
During periods of market gluts,
when farmers find it unprofitable te
harvest certain products for ordinary
wholesale prices, a group of house-
wives can, by ordering a large quan-
tity, get excellent food for preserving
at a minimum price while the farmer
finds a fair market.
Many such products of less perish:
able nature can be bought in quantity
at a considerable saving. There is lit-
tle excuse for any one to buy pota-
toes in less than bushel §“= Tt i
to be regretted that house building in
our cities has now developed to the
stage where hardly any place is avail
able for food storing.

Caution as to
Huckster Trade
‘The huckster trade which has grown
to such large proportions in recent
years offers an excellent way of dis-
tributing perishables. The hucksters
do it quickly, and as they are under
slight” expense, can compete success:
fully for housewives’ trade. The sani
tary phase of the huckster trade is
really appalling, and should be given
thought by housewives and municipal
authorities. The flies, pet cats, and
stray dogs which abound around the
homes of some of these hucksters
8ffer excellent facilities for spreading

Milk That Is
Electrically Sterilized
A new process of sterilizing milk
by the use of electricity is said to have
a great many advantages over the old
process. It has originated in England
and was recently the subject of a con-
sular report made by one of our rep-
resentatives abroad. The
tion into this subject was carried on
at the Liverpool University, Profes-|i
sors Beatie and Lewis having made a
large number of experiments. In the‘
report they enumerate the results ¢f
fifteen different experiments under
varying conditions, with different de-
grees of current and with
qualities of milk, as well as showing
two types of apparatus used. The
final conclusions arrived at by the in-

investigators are: :
“Milk can be rendered free from B.

tion, and in itself is not the principal j
teria.
|
lized in the strict sense of the word,
fortnight, is 99.93. The keeping power |
“The taste of the milk is not al- jt
impaired. The
be described as ‘raw milk’ free from
pathogentic bacteria.”
cal Research Committee, it is pointed |
»
tiie 3 |
destruction of bacteria in milk by elec
(England) Corporation in 1915,
Beatie, of the University of Liverpool.
the method were undertaken at Biv-
mingham, and the opinion of the com-
mittee is that the latter experiments,
while supporting the practical results
obtained at Liverpool, did not entirely
prove whether the electrical current
in the method adopted had a directly
bactericidal action or acted as a ther-
mal agent.—Exchange.
Dutch Adopting

call “rich in snakes,”
puff adders,
size, are among the most dangerous.
During the warm months scarcely a
day ‘passes without a puff adder inci-
dent being recorded. And,
quence of the towns spreading sparse-
investiga- |ly over wild districts, with detached
residences and extensive gardens, {it -
puff adder
cut that the earliest description of an tiles,
American Puff Adders =
South Africa is what herpetologists
A and especially in
which, on account of their
in conse-
§ NO uncommon occurrence to see a
a meandering down the
‘street.” il
Happily, in the majority of cases,
the people know how to avoid them
or deal with them; but, notwithstand
several | ing prenece of mind and good cour-
age, fatalities do occur,
even gets into houses, sometimes, ag
do the cobras of India.
The reptile
A gentleman was walking across his
dining room ,when he felt something
coli and B. tuberculosis by the new knock against him, and looking down,
electrical method described without he found a puff adder hanging on to
raising the temperature higher than his tfousers.
63 degrees or 64 degrees C. This tem- but most providentally the fangs hag
perature effect is very short in dura: | caught only the garment. The aston-
It had struck at him,
shed wearer, to shake off the reptile,
factor in the destruction of the bac-!performed, as he afterwards declared,
Though the milk is not steri- “the most vigorous hornpipe that ever
was danced,” until he got free of the
yet the percentage reduction in the snake, which was then quickly dis-
bacteria, taken over a period of a patched. .
Dogs become frequent victims
of the milk is considerably increased. through their keen sense of smell and
heir determination to investigate.
tered ,and so far as careful chemical One splendid large dog and two fox
examination can determine the proper- | terriers met with their death last sum-
ties of the milk are not in any way mer near Port Elizabeth through the
milk can accurately bite of puff adders.
Though there are other highly veno-
mous and equally abundant snakes at
In the introduction of the report, {the Cape, they are more of the active
which was issued by the British Medi- cobra kind; while the puff adders are
extremely sluggish and inactive rep-
which do not get out of the
electrical method having in view the way, but lay half hidden among the
herbage or among roots and stones,
tricity was published by the Liverpool | with which they assimilate in color.
the By their hiss they betray themselves
investigator being Professor J. Martin when danger threatens, and that is all.
Happily, these great deadly serpents
Subsequently independent trials of of are not aggressive, and do not at-
tack unless provoked.
Wireless for Lifeboats
However well equipped with wire-

less a ship may be, an accident that
results in its sinking puts an end to
its distress signals and may not even
allow time to begin them, leaving its
hurriedly manned
lifeboats without
any means of communication with
disease. The proper storing of mar-
ket food supplies at these places ic
just as important from a sanitary
standpoint as the producing and hand-
ling of milk on the farm. No doubt
U. S.=School

Inspection Rule
this matter will receive more attention
from our health authorities.
Retail Markets
Farmers’ retail markets are not
popular in New Jersey, or at least they
are not common, and they are thought
by many to be impracticable. At Perth
Amboy, N. J, is a market which utter-
ly refutes the idea in many ways. In
1909 the city authorities set aside a
street and an adjoining open lot as a
market place. Farmers were encour-
aged to display their goods in small
quantities and the people of the citv
came to learn that that they could do
their marketing there at less cost than
anywhere else. It is not unusual to find
over one hundred farmers’ wagons in
the market place at one time. Such
markets as this are very common ir
many of the cities of Pennsylvania
and in other sections of the country.
They offer certain very definite ad-
vantages to the thoughtful housewife.
In the first place, she is able to buy
her goods in the best possible con-
dition. and by attending the marke!
and personally selecting her goods she
can pick out just-the kind and quality
she desires and be sure of g [mg full,
value for her money. By pa ing cash
and carrying the goods home she saves
the greater part of the extra charge
which the retail distributors find
necessary to add to the goods. She
is provided with an opportunity for
learning kinds and qualities, seasons

of ripening, and other various char-
European schools are adopting prin-
cipals of American institutions in re-
gards to the health of pupils.
This fact is verified by the report
recently submitted by school authori-
ties in this city regarding the inspec-
tion of 20,000 children of the Nether-
lands by members of the National Den-
tal Association, assisted by the Green
Cross Society. Of the 20,000 children
examined, 80 per cent of them showed
defective teeth.
lands are to be treated by American
dentists. School boards there are
planning to raise a sufficient amount
of money through taxes to enable the
dentists to go ahead with their move- |
ment. |
Inspection of eyes has already been

acteristics of the many kinds of fruits
and vegetables of which most house:
wives know very little. The import-
ance of a public market as an educa-
tioal institution cannot be over em-
phasized. » If the housewives of the
nation spend two-thirds of the national
income for food, how necessary is it
that they should know as much as
possible about the value and qualities

of food products.

her. You'd fall f - that sweet voice
of hers, even it he isn’t as young
as she was once. No, I think you'd
better stay out. How about that
broiled chicken?”
“Coming up,” says I, as the wait-
ress staggers in with a big tray.
Uh-huh! It was the real article, the
kind blamed few mothers used te
And the waffles—M-m-m-m!
“Some cook, I'll tell the jury,” says
“Let’s steal her, Dearie, and

asks. i
“Look,” says he, holdin’ out the)
card. : |
I has to study it a minute before I
saw. “Oh, yes!” “Oh, yes!” says Lj
“I—I don’t know,” says Ridley.
had a brother by that name.” 1
“Had one, eh?” says I. -“And lost [1
him?”
“We—er—we lost each other,” says [As for Ridley, he seems to have lost
his appetite sudden.
gazin’ starey at the kitchen door and
“I don’t quite follow you,” says IL

Gladys. ‘Hadn't you better let us drop
house to fix up her permanent wave| ‘“There’s a proposition for you,
and touch up her facial scenery Rid |Ridley,” says I, grinnin’.
ley picks a menu off one of the tables “Careful, Shorty,” says he, “or
and glances over it casual, to see if you'll start something. It doesn’t
he’s missed a bet probably. All of a 'happen, Gladys, to be a her. They
sudden I hears him let out something have a he-cook here.”
gaspy. | “Oh, hush up, old dear!” says
“Well, what have you found?” I Gladys. Run along, Miss, and bring
“lI—I must ask the manager.”
Some (mbe, pass the waffles, will you?
[the honey, please.
“T ‘heavenly combination? Say, I'm liable
“It wasn’t all my fault,” goes on crumplin’ his napkin nervous.
the cook man.”
“In—in here?” asks the waitress
“Very well,” says Gladys. “Bring
em both. Meanwhile Professor Mec-
And
Isn’t that the most
iable to hug somebody before I get
hrough. Maybe it'll be the cook.”
Course, 1 has to chuckle at that.
He sits there

PER
CENT
When Dollar “comes back” |
HEN the buying power of the dollar
returns to normal---and it WILL return---
those who are resisting the nation-wide
wave of extravagance and are saving their surplus
earnings, will find their dollars worth much more
than they are today.
{bottom of the boat.

PER
ANNUM
ON SAVINGS ACCOUNTS

WEST END TRUST CO.
v CAPITAL AND SURPLUS $4,000,000
Broad Street and South Penn Sq.,
YOU are invited to open an interest bearing ac-
count here and add to it regularly.
If you are too busy to come in person, send your
deposit by mail, no matter how small the amount
---the postman will show you how.
Philadelphia, Pa.

each other or with a rescue ship. An
Eastern inventor has designed a sim-
Pple and compact radio system intended
‘as permanent equipment for one or
Popular Mechanics Magazine. The
wireless apparatus, used for both tele-
graphing and telephoning, is inclosed
in a water-tight box at the stern, and
grounded through a metal plate in the
To shut out ex.
traneous sounds and add to the sen-
sitivemess of the set, the operator is
equipped with a helmet containing the
telephone receiver.

Judge West says “A pedestrian
needn't run or jump when he hears
This percentage is about 10 per cent lan automobile horn honking.” O wise
worse than the average in local and noble judge! Mourners please
schools. The children of the Nether- pass around to the left.

The Pennsylvania farmers expended
last year approximately $13,080,853 for
commercial fertilizer.

instigated by American doctors, inter- MI-RITA
ested in school movements over there. SUPERFLUOUS
HAIR
Whatever is worth doing on the REMOVER
farm is worth doing well. The only treatment
that will remove
permanently all Su-
perfluous Hair from
the face or any part
of the bedy without
leaving a mark on
the most delicate
skin, Removes en-

tire hair reots and destroys the hair duct.
No electric needle, burning caustics or pow-
ders used.
One application of Mi-Rita will quickly
and completely remove all undesirable hair,
leaving the skin soft and smooth,
Every woman who is troubled with super-
fluous hair should know that Mi-Rita will
permanently destroy the most stubborn
growth of hair, and this treatment can be
used successfully at home.
Send for Free Beauty Book listing our exclusive
preparations for beautifying the skin and hair
DR. MARGARET RUPPERT
Deot. R---1112 Chestnut St., Philadelphia. Pa. U. S. A.
Established 22 years

Attention, MEN!
Let Me Send You this Gigantic Shoe
Value
It it don’t please and you can duplicate it at $5.00
send it back, your money refunded.
“The Hog Island Special”
$3.95
Parcel Post
10c Extra

Brings this offering to you for
inspection.
Built on the Army last, and made to smnd wear
and rough usage. Regular wholesale value $5.00.
Leather of highest quality and finest workmanship
used in the construction of these shoes.
An absolute bargain. We stand back of it. Mail
Orders promptly filled, money refunded if not satis-
factory. Sizes 6 to 9.
R. FORSTER & SON
4239 Main St., Manayunk, Philadelphia, Pa.
Established 50 years

ha
more lifeboats on each vessel, SAYS ad

X

>
sory
wr

od RT nS
sist