action. of evil T strove to affectation of gayety. ment that anybody cooking schools with ! y taught #1s anything. ed I, “there is now sl ho does not know he A Std Lruly, the woman, my wife, eyes agld ith earnestness. “And course it wasf not until they had the bole thus welll grounded in the rudi- its that the cooking schools could ceed to teachiwhat was at all trans- dental 1” © Yor Dejcency’s Sake. Turdstone, fend me $150, will you?” hat for, old fellow?” | Want to pay my wife's funeral ex- hes. ertainly,” rites a check for the amount and [S 1t over.) orry to hear of your wife's death, fon. When did she die?” Put 2 year and a half ago. The woman I'm going to marry to- PW says that bill has got to be paid LVer so much obliged to you, [Istone,” ————————— One Short. ell,” asked the professor. “did you ll our commencement and meet our ites ?"’ "answered the editor, “I didn't but I've met them all, T guess. tany young men did you graduate ear vo hundred and twelve,’ answered ofessor. en one of them must be ill,” said itor. “Up to date 211 have been o strike me for a job.” Diplomacy Defined. —Paw? ise—What, my son? is diplomacy?” acy, my son, between great termed the exercise of states- but betweén individuals it is "described as lying, with one varm adjectives to add to the on of the same.” An Encouraging Setback. irkins—Miss Simpson, my heart great secret, but I feel timid onfiding it to you. Simpson—Well, Mr. Perkins, I ielp vou out any; the man who bes to me, Mr. Perkins, shan’t chance to throw it up to me that im on. College Colors. Nir college colors are pink and old said Miss Frocks. ir college colors were black and hen I was initiated into the secret ly,” added her brother. res Cancer and Blood Poison. agious blood poison, old eating ulcers, ula, bone pains, falling hair, mucous hes, and deadly cancer, running, fester- ores, persistent pimples, cured by B. B. B. anic Blood Balm), which kills the poison. B every sore; especially recommended for bstinate cases. Druggists, $1. Describe bI% and trial treatment sent free by writ- Pr. Gillam, 12 Mitchell St., Atlanta, Ga. girl who fishes for complimey a i bait her hook with flattery. Ne \ OET.ESS SL Coston perfectly v all druggists. AD) own reward, but some few ood because they really like F that the hammock contin- ls own. ping Allen’s Foot- Eass !? y cure for Swollen, Smarting, Hot, Sweating Feet, Corns Ask for Allen’s Foot-Ease, a shaken into the shoes. Cures klk. At all Druggists and Shoo Sample sent FREE. Address, msted, LeRoy, N. Y. bs nk of France compels customers put~money to accept at least one- 1d coin. . est For the Dowels. r what ails you, headacho to a will never get well until your ut right. CAscARETS help nature, kthout a gripe or pain, produce armel inovements, cost you just 10 start.getting your health back. Cas- Candy Cathartic, the Zenvine, t up lal boxes, cvery tablet has C.C.C. on it. Beware of imitations. coal’ miner generally finds himself le. ermanently cured. No fits or nervous- nw first day’s use of Dr. Kline's Great orer. $2 trial bottle and treative free K Lng, Litd., 931 Arch 8t., Phila. Pa A pay be plenty of room at the top, people prefer to got at the bot. Ings. + BE. D. Loomis, Detroit, Mich., feet of Hall's Catarrh Cure is Write him about it. Sold by seern to think they fall into fall into debt. 's Soothing Syrup for children bn the gums, reduces inflamma- in, cures wind colic. 25¢ a bottle kieker deserves to stub his eve Pizo’s Cure for Consump- lal for coaghs and colds. —JoaN ity Springs, Ind., Feb. 15, 1900. : to swallow your pride, pan. aigest it. Centenarian. of Eentucky, who lived te be ars old, attributed his long life bom illness to the use of Crab . It was his only medicine. would like to dehver their rations. krapEAL’S Business COLLEGE pmposition is often sold for w%/ NEW DISCOVERY; gives b YY oy relief and ouras worst opials and 10 days’ treatment GREEN'S SONS, Box B, Atlanta, eo Maxims SPOw me a man who istake, and I will show has never tried anything. ITt is a mistake to eat all you cajilipend all you have, tell all you know, oNgshow all you feel. Ever since I knew of them, I have been wanting to employ Schwab, J. P. Mor- gan, and John Wanamaker, for there is no trouble in getting business—the trou- ble lies in getting them. A bad pup often makes a good dog; and I would rather undertake to reverse the force of a bad man than loan my own to a weak one. Many people labor like an ox or a mule, and have to be pressed or they will not earn their feed. Dont tell me what you have of beauty, strength, education, money or genius. The only thing I care to consider is what you are doing with it. If we could get a shield from the fear of things that never happen, our troubles would be reduced go per cent. Many practice humanity to get the un- der hold. n't escape criticism, for if you 8 ey, you are a miser and a hog; and, ou spend it, you are a spend- thrift and a dog. ! If you don’t know where success lies, perhaps you know where it is not, and that will show me what to avoid. Set your stake, and, before you reach it, set it further ahead. Some people kick at everything they don’t understand. I would rather fail and know the cause than succeed and not know why. : He that opposes us sharpens our wits and becomes our helper. I can tolerate a man who fails to ac- quire an education, or one who never gets a dollar ahead, but I soon grow tired of a person who does not have sense enough to have a good time. If you expect to make anything ex- pect to make mistakes. ade a wo “Female” Bachelors Multiplying. To read day by day of the number of female bachelors that are being turned out by the colleges is something quite startling. We shall see some astonishing figures when the next census is published in full. Already one doctor in every tweny-five is a woman, and one twenty-eighth of all the preachers are women. One-eighth of the college professors’ chairs are now filled by women, while one journalist out { of everv twenty is a woman. In telegra- | phy and clerking women show signs of | vet taking the whole field. or While such facts are multiplying, it is | notorious that the marriage rate is stead- { ily falling. The whole face of society ap- pears to be changing, for the woman with a diploma is not looking for a hus- band. She is a bachelor. The problem of industrial independ- ence is gradually being solved through the new order of society which puts wo- man so largely at the helm of the world’s affairs. This, however, is not the only problem to be solved. When the world becomes full of women doctors and law- yers and professors, somebody must pro- vide the material to be preached to and cured and taught—else the bachelors will ultimately find themselves loaded with empty professions. What the World Demands. The world does not demand that you become a grgat lawyer, a great physi- cian, or a great merchant; but™it does require that you shall so carry yourself through life as to uplift and not blight your fellow-men; so as to help and not hinder, so as to elevate and not degrade them. It does ask that you shall not gain riches by impoverishing those who help vou to become wealthy, that your dollars shall be clean and not smirched with the guilt of trying to get ahead of your competitor by sharp practice; it demands that your wealth shall not be stained with the blood of widows and orphans, that you shall not lift yourself up by tearing others down. . The Dray Horse and the Racer. “All that hinders me from being as fleet as you,” the dray horse said to the racing horse, “is this long hair on my fetlocks. It impedes my motions. If I could have it cut off I would run against you, best three in five.” “All right,” replied the racer, “I will remove that long hair for you, and we will have a go.” So he gnawed the dray horse's fet- locks free from the long hair and the two ran a race, with the result that the dray horse was ignominiously beaten. But the racer jeered and laughed at him so scornfully that the dray horse kicked him to death. You can’t always tell how an instruc- tive little incident is going to turn out. Couldn’t Lose Him. It was late, and getting later. However, that did not stop the sound of muffled voices in the parlor. Meantime the gas meter steadily. The pater endured it as long as he could, and then resolved on heroic mea- sures. “Phyllis,” he called from the head of the stairs, “has the morning paper coine yet?” “No, sir,” replied the funny man on the Daily Bugle, “we are holding the form for an important decision.” And the pater went back to bed won- dering if they would keep house or live with him. worked Saved by His Wits. “Hold still,” said the executioner. grimly, as he poised the blood-stained axe in the air. “Fave you a little bird for me to look at?” replied the victim, who had once worked in a photograph gallery. While the executioner was convulsed with laughter the victim escaped. Speaking from Experience. Harold (desperately)—I tell you, old chap, I cannot live without her. Rupert (complacently)—Oh, yes, you { can, old man. Why, I used to think I @s. |couldn’t live without cigarettes!—Puck. NCHESITER | j VAL” FACTORY. LOADED SHOTGUN SHELLS ¢ all other black powder shells, because they are made d: loaded by exact machi shot and wadding. Try, PUR BLE » nery with the standard brands of nd you will be convinced. DEALERS + KBEP +» THEM PENNSYLVANIA NEWS. | The Latest Happenings. Gleaned From AH Over the State. i STATE ASYLUM TO BE ENLARGED. Patents and Pensions Granted During the Weck «Man Leaped From a Train and was Ground to Pleces--Spent Bullet Struck a Lancaster Woman in the Neck--Two Men Quarrel Over the Wife of One of Them at Excelsior. Pennsylvanians received the following pensions during the week: Joel Powell, New Brighton, $6; Joseph Wilson, Johnstown, $8: James C. McDonald. New Brighton, $6; Frank Thomas, Pitts- burg, $6; Milton S. Shope, Clarksville, $6; Ira A. Goodrich, Bradford, $6; Morgan Dively, Claysburg, $8; Henry Kiefer, Brownsville, $6; Howard Had- field, Allegheny, $12; Richmond L. Hagerman, Pittsburg, $8; Henry A. Herrick, Washington, $10; Willuum H. Crouch, Fredericktown, $12; Danel Laughery, Trade City, $10; William W. Wright, Anita, $10; James McMillen, Reynoldsville, $24; John T. Ployer, Blo- serville, $8; Abraham Herbst, Blairs- ville, $12; joseph Coleman, Carnot, $10; Warren J. Rice, Erie, $24; Isaac Steven, Lewistown, $8; Sabina C. Madden, Mercer, $12; Sarah E. Dean. Pittsburg. $8; Rachel Marker, New Lexington, $8; Sarah J. Gruber, New Maysville, $8; Mary A. Carr. North Fork, $12; Susana Turk, Harrisville, $8: Harriet Heaton, Fleming, $12; Hearietta Fisher, Adams- burg, $8; Mary D. Scott. Pittsburg, $8. These patents were granted: Andrew A. Banker and A. F. Hefferman. Pitts- burg, switch throwing device; Arthur M. Bowman, Believue, metallic tie; Horse Chrisman, Wilkinsburg, fuid meter; Isaac Dekaicer, Pittsburg, and C. Q. Hadfield, Braddock, mica split- ting machine; Wilitam H. Forker, Meadville, wheeled earth scraper; Louis Frederick. Baldwin townshiv, tongs, William Giles, Jr., St. Mary's hox lid holder; Mary FE. Grove, Pittsburg, skirt supporter: Reinhold Ferman, Crafton, relay; John E. James, Worth- ington, heating stove; Joseph Johnson. Jr., Pittsburg, stock line rccorder for blast furnaces; Christian To. Loetzer, Sayre hydrant; Newton W. McCourt, Bradford, hinge; Charles Messer, Cora- opolis, hot air furnace: Wm. P. Mur- phy, McKeesport, folding crate: George E. Riblet, Erie, heater: Henry M Schwer. Verona. rail joint: Thomas Echotrell, Pittsburg, nut lock: Peiar J. Stone, Athens, grain door; James A. Swearer and C. E. Trinbee. Parnassus, making wire glass plates; Wm. Thomas Pittsburg, refrigerator; John S. Wright- enour, Oil City, rcirigerator. The trustees of the State Hospital for the Insane held an important meeting at Norristown, when they arranged for the expendifure of the $128.60 recently ap- propriated by the Legislature for im- provements to the institution. The lcad- ing item in the appropriation ic onc of $100,000 for the erection of nurses’ homes. These will entirely change the present method of conducting the hos- pital. Now the 300 nurses, of whom about half are women, share quarters with the patients, as well as dine with them. Under the new plan the aurses will live in buildings entirely separate from the hospital Jesse, the 11-year-old son of William Flanner, of Hollidaysburg. met with an accident which will probably result fatal- ly. He was picking cherries when the limb broke, and he teil twenty feet on a picket fence, the pickets penetrating his leit side and lunge. He was impaled for about fifteen minutes hefore found. The boy is barelv living and his death may ensttic any moment. Isaac Hoffman, aged ahout 40 years. died at the Schuyikill County Alms- house, having deliberate'y starved him- self to death. Two months age he was a prisoner in the county jail. when he started his fatal fast. He labored under the hallucination that his keepers were trying to poison him. Later he was re- moved to the almshouse, still ohstinately refusing food. At death he was reduced to a mere skeleton. Mrs. John Bucher, of Lebanon, while sitting at a picnic dinner at Va ley Glen Park, was struck in the neck by a spent bullet from a revolver. The ball enter- ed the side of lier neck and lodeed under the chin. The party who fired the shot has not yet been apprehended. Theobald Shilling. aged 05 years, tried to jump from au excursion tra'n at Hub- bard while it was running twenty-five miles an hour. Trainmen prevant-d him. At Sharon he slipped away from them, leaped from the train, rolled udev the wheels, and was ground to pieces. John Ford lies in the Lackawanna Hospital, Scranton, suffering trom a dangercus wound in the abdotien caused by a pistol shot alleged tc have been fired by Joseph Ritter in Jessup. Ri ter. who gave himself up, denies that hc shot Ford. The shooting took place during =» quarrel between a number of en. Harry Howard, while paintieo over a target in a shooting galle~y «ft MeKees- port, was fatally shat by William Lang. The ball entered lis face below the right eye and he died an heur later at the hos. pital. Lang was placed in jal He says the shooting of Howard wae accidental. While unloading hav at his farm at Broad Ax Emanuel Weiss siipped and was impaled at the throat upoi the pon of a wagon standard. His w.i= and hi brother rescued him with difficulty. as the wood had gotten wedged incide his jaw and almost reached the brain. He is im a critical conditicn. While Frank Rohrer ana Miss Mary Rohrer, of Strasburg. were driving tc Lancaster their horse ran off and both were badly injured. Miss Rohrer will be permanently crippled. Twenty-two years 5 C0. K. Bangg lost a sapphire ring hich he orizel highly as a souven'r oi & dead sister. Friday while plowing an his farm at Chadds Ford he © au, uninjured dert Wickham, of Melrose, and J m Rourke, of Lanesboro, were struck by the De'-ware and Hudson express train, north bound, at Starrucca and in- stantly £1600 Wickman was a teteran ot the Tivil War. 3 A younglson of J. B. McGuire, of Lancaster, Was running with 2 sharp- pointed stick in his mouth, when he fell, The stick pejstrated the tongue and right cheek. . John Howey, of North Scranton, end- ed his life by a “ose of laudanum, but whether it was taken as medicine or for the purpese of committing suicide is not known. “Two years ago my hair was falling out badly. I purchased a bottle of |Ayer’s Hair Vigor, and soot my hair stopped coming out.”’ Miss Minnie Hoover, Paris, Ill. Perhaps your mother had thin hair, but that is no reason why you must go through life with half- t starved hair. If you want long, thick hair, feed it with Ayer’s Hair Vigor, and make it rich, dark, and heavy. $1.60 a bottle. All druggists. If your grageist cannot supply you, send us one dollar and we will express you a bottle. Be sure and give the name of your nearest express office. Address, J.C. AYER CO., Lowell, Mass. Your Tongue If it’s coated, your stomach is bad, your liver is out of order. Ayer’s Pills will clean your tongue, cure your dys- fepsia, make your liver right. asy to take, easy to operate. 25c. All druggists. ‘Want your moustache or beard a beautiful brown or rich black? Then use for the BUCKINGHAM'S DYE Whiskers +. ¢ DRUGGISTR, OR R. P. H 1 & CO., NASHUA, N. H. 00-00 CO-BAR DY : Constipation is easily cured and the bowels restored to a healthy condition by the use of the natural remedy ror all stomach, bowel, liver and kidney troubles. By our method of concentration each 6 oz. bottle is equivalent to thres gallons of the spring water. Sold by all drug. ists. Crab app! rade on every bottie Oo Gr GP G- B E> To-GR «1D DB DB EDD BP i : mark ace Gi) vam —l CRAB ORCHARD WATER CO., Louisville, Ky. J A A a (JAN TED-TW0 MEN To SELL OUR LINE to the TRADE. Ability, Enplyy and Confidence can take the place of Experience and make you worth Per Year Above Trav- $2 ’ 0 Oo 0 ny i hig P.0. BOX S60, KANSAS CITY, MO. YY Is the oldest and only business college ir Va. own. ing its building—a grand new one. No vacations. Ladies & gentlemen. Bookkeeping,Shorthand, Typewriting, Penmanship, Telegraphy, &c. ‘Leading business college south of the Potomac viver.,“—Phila. Stenographer. Address, G- M. Smithdeal, President, Richmond. Va. La - u Lg ill MILLIONS OF MOTE ! USE CUTICURA SOAP ASSISTED BY CUTL- § § CURA OINTMENT THE GREAT SKIN CURE For preserving, purifying, and beautifying the skin of infants and children, for rashes, itchings, and chafings, for cleansin the scalp of crusts, scales, and dandruff, and the stopping of falling hair, for softening, whitening, andZoothing red, rough, # and sore hands, and for all the purposes of the toilet, bath, § and nursery, Millions of Women use Cuticura Soap in the § form of baths for annoying irritations, inflammations, and excoriations, for too free or offensive perspiration, in the form of washes for ulcerative weaknesses, and for many sanative, antiseptic purposes which readily suggest themselves to women, especially mothers No amount of persuasion can induce those who have once used these great skin purifiers § and beautificrs to use any others. Cuticura Soap combines delicate emollient properties derived from Cuticura, the great skin cure, with the purest of cleansing ingredients and the most refreshing of flower odors. It unites in ONE SOAP at ONE PRICE, the BEST skin and complexion soap and the BEST toilet, bath, and baby soap in the world. %, , COMPLETE EXTERNAL AND INTERNAL TREATMENT FOR EVERY HUMOR, tion, and soothe and heal, and CuTrcurA RESOLVENT, to cool and cleanse the blood. A SINGLE SET is often suffi Sold throughout the world. British Depot: F. NEWBERY & house 8q., Londen, POTTER DRUG AND CuEM. CORP., Sole Frops., Boston, U.S. A. a ‘ ® Consisting of CUTIOURA SOAP, to cleanse the skin of crusts il ICL and scales and soften the thickened cuticle, COTICURA OINT- TH E SET ciont to cure the most torturing, dis8guring, itching, burn- § Sof bar, when all else fails. N: MENT, to instantly allay itching, inflammation, and irrita- ing, and scaly skin, scalp, and blood humors, with loss o 27128, Charter- bith . we Ee CRYST Te WS ” TET “The Sauce that made West Point famons.” URES WHER: ALL ELSE FAILS, 3 Best Cough Syrup. Tastes Good. Use Fed in time. Sold by druggists. 4 1 oid pope WILLS PILLS—BiGGEST OFFER EVEY M\)E, Foronly 10 Cents we will sand to any P. O. al dress, 10 days’ treatment of the basi msdicine on 'McILHENNY’S TABASGO. srl ana gown he aoc hou woe sion: | {SE QERTAN COUtz4 CUR 25 COR RK. B, Wills Medicis Compnuy, 23 Eliza. | : ILORA : CHI) 50 i 115 beth St., Hagerstown, Md. Branch Otfices: 129 Indiana Ave., Washington, . C. 1 iT TO ADVERTISE | PAYS = THIS PAPER. BN U8 Watch our next adverrisement. “A HIGH OLD TIME IN VIEW.” The Lion rises now to the occasion, To exercise his powers of persuasion, To tell you all to pay the best attention Unto t®€ date that he herein will mention For ’tis important that you should remember Ninteen hundred and one, first of September. As on that date the Lion's list of prizes, Will be renewed—but filled with new surprises! The Lion ffom his car is now proclaiming His newest Premium List, which will be naming, To man and wife, to children, aunt and cousin, Attractive presents, dozen after dozen. The List comprises gifts most wisely blended For household use and ornament intended, As well as tools and toys to suit the younger, Who after playthings naturally hunger, From his balloon the Lion inakes suggestion That cn September first vou ask the question:— “The LION CCFFEE Premium List you're needing The vp-to-date one, others superseding, And if your grocer is not one possessing, Don’t hesitate, because your nced is pressing, Just write to us,—a two-cent stamp inclosing, We'll send the List, no further work imposing. Just try a package the reason of its pop of LION COFFEE and you will understand ularity. WCOLSON SPICE CO., TOLEDO, OHIO.