The Columbia spy. and literary register. (Columbia, Pa.) 1848-1848, July 08, 1848, Image 1

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CF.O. W, SCHROYEB,-Editor and Publisher.
Office—Front Strcet; three doors above Locust.
Timms.—The Sea is published every Saturday morning
at fiat low price of SI per annum IN ADVANCE, or
one dollar and fifty cents, If Hot paid within one month of
the time of subscribing,. Single copies, THREE CENTS.
No paper will be discontinued until' all arrearages are
No subscription received, or paper discontinued, for a
less period than sir months.
Letters to receive attention, mutt be post-paid.
[Fifteen lines or less to the square.]
Advertisements twill be inserted three times at the rate
tat St per square; for every subsequent insertion after the
third, ..S cents will be charged. The marnber of insertions
tlesired‘must be marked, or the advertisement will be con
tinued until ordered out, and charged accordingly.
A liberal deduction will be made on the above prices
tosoe.rly advertisers.
you' SUFFER. Thousands of bottles of the
AMERICAN COMPOUND has been sold during
thapast year, and was never known to fail of curing, in
a few days, the most cases of a certain delicate disease.
Simms) weslcness and all diseaseeof the Urinary organs.
Persons afflicted using this pleasant and popular remedy,
need•feirr no exposure, as it leaves no. odor on the breath ;
requires no restrictions in diet or business--contains no
Mercury or noxious drugs, injurious to the system, and is
adapted to every age, sex. and condition. It is also the
best remedy known for Fluor Albus or Whites, (female
complaints) with which thousands suffer, without the
knowledge of a remedy. This celebrated remedy has
long been used in the private practice of n physician with
unerring sucuess, radically curing ninety-nine of the hun
dred cases in a few days. Around each bottle are plain
and full directions.
ED — CAUTION.—Ask for the. AMERICAN COMPOU - D. and
purchase only of the agent. Price $1 a bottle, Sold by
June 3, 101e.-I.y. R. WILLIAMS.
Ton MLR at the sign of the "Red Curtain,"
Fourth and Market Street, Philadelphia.
0. WHEELOCK, Pnorrarron
CAKES :—Pruit, Sponge, Pound, Iced, Spiced, Queen
Cakes; Scotch Cakes, Lemon Cakes, Short Cakes, Cheese
Cakes, Runk, Apples, Jumbles, Spice Nuts, and Ginger
PlES:—Strawberry, Burtleberry,Blackberry, Currant.
Cherry, Plum, Cranberry, Egg Custard, Cheese Custard,
Apple, Peach, Mince, and ftheubarb pouring in hot
from the oven at all hours at the day.
CHEESE:—Timothy Jackson's. Ne Plus Ultra Medal
Cheese, (very superior,) Pine Apple Cheese, and a great
variety of the Cheese, both new and old.
N. D. Some of the Cheese sold at this esuddislinient is
equal to the best Engli4a Cheese.
nWr • TEMPERANCE DRlNKS—always cold—Ron
ell's Mineral Na ten Lemonade, Beer, 11.1ead, Asc,
Philadelphia, June 10, let .—dm
AN save from 16 to 15 per cent. by purchas
ing their OIL CLOTHS direct from the mmtufaclu-
I'OTTER & CARMICHAEL have opened a Ware
house, N 0.135 North Third Street above Race, second
door South of the Eagle Hotel, PHILAIMPLIA, where
they will always keep on hand a complete assortment of
20, 36. 40.46, 40, and 81, inches wide. Figured, Painted,
and Plain, on the inside, on Muslin Drilling and Linen.
Tant.c Om Cs.orns of the most desirable patterns, all. 40,
40, and 34 inches wide. Ftdon OIL CLOTHS. tram 2., in
ches to dl feet wide well seasoned, and the newest style
of patterns, all of their own manufacture. Transparent
Window Shades. Carpets, &e. All goods warranted
Philadelphia, May 07-3 m
Street, PHILADELPHIA, has for sale the following
TEAS, viz:
500 half chests young Tyson Teas.
100 do Gunpowder, do.
150 do Imperial, do.
10 do Dyson do.
1000 do Powchong, do.
200 do Is:itipmng Souchong
100 do Oolong, do.
75 chests Padre Souchong.
45 do Murk leaf Pekoe.
25 half chests, do do.
25 do Orange do.
1000 mans Cassia.
These Tcas comprise the hest chops mtported in ships
Sea Witch, Rainbow. TOINUM, Inca. and Iluntress, and
are equal to any tens that have helm offered sit this market.
Philadelphia, May 6,1518.--11 m
I_lOW many die a most horrible death without
the simple cause being suspected. Some linger for
years, as they suppose. from chspepsm, n hen it is norms,
which causes most diseases. There has come under
our notice several cases of supposed dispepsiti, of several
years' standing, when we hove recommended the Syrup.
which has entirely restored them to health. We would
say to MILTS wlicn they arc aillicted with Sour Stomach,
Sick Head Ache, Fits, a frequent deceive to make Stools,
Leanness, Bloated Stomach, Nervousness, Sickness otter
eating. Sensisnon of rising in the throat after ending. &c..
be assured it is simply worms, and it needs hut a trial of
to Salley you 111, so, and if you have any of the above
symptoms and the Syrup fails to cure, the agent will re
fund the money. 'l'o PARENTS we would any, that tine
greatest sin you are convicted of, is to let your children
sulfer and die, n lain there is a simple pleasant Vegetable
remedy at band. St is said by our oldest Physicians, that
Worms cause more deaths yearly, than all the other dis
eases the human family are subject to. Then. hose im
portant it is to have a •itle and pleasant remedy at hand.
Parents, when your children have sore or inflamed eyes.
you may rest satisfied that it is caused by worms. and
you will do well to call on the storekeepers of your
neighborhood and get a Book of Ilobtinsack - s. contauung
certificates of cures end the symptoms of warms. Al
ways keep a Bottle of Hobensack's None Syrup on hand,
it is rt friend in need.
'Amax Honsassot--Gentlemen I take great pleasure
in informing yon of the great efficacy of your Worm Sy
rup ; having been afflicted for five years, and w
away to a mere skeleton, without removing any nefit
trom various medicines, I was induced by Jesse Roberts
to try your Worm Syrup, as he informed me it had brought
worms from him; also, of Squire A. Tomlinson, of Hocks
county, n man over fifty years old. whom I am well ac
gummed with. I then commenced talcug your gr , .P.
and it brought a very large quantity of worms. some ten
inches to length. rind entirely restored me to health, and,
I must say I feel like a new mail.
Yours, truly. JOHN HART, Plait co.
Hart is a gentleman thirty-three years of age,
living five miles out of the city, back of Second at. road,
and is (tidy one amongst the hundred grown persons that
have been saved by HOBENSACK'S\VORM
Nlessrs. Ilobensack :
I have been looking for some of your Wonn Syrup
for some time ; I have sold all but one bottle ; I with you
to send me two dozen immediately. I believe it to be a
good medicine ; I have seen it tried to my satisfaction.
Have known one dose to bring from a child three worms,
ten inches long, and from another twenty worms, eight
Indies long in one day. I have sold different Worm Me
dicines for a number of yenrs, but never sold any that
gave such universal satisfaction.
Respectfully, yours, intooicrlELD,
Bridgeton, New Jersey
Parn.Antisnu., May 1947.
Messrs, J. Y. & C. S. Holiensark—Gentlemen—l have
been for some time using your " Verrnifuge in my prac
tice, and I am happy to say that In my hands it fins sue
seeded in Its intention, so as fully to Justify my confidence
in its use. I thing it among the very beet preparationit
use. C. W. ArrtzroN, M. n.,1N0. 46, South at
Prepared only by' 3. N. & 0. S. 11011FINSACK,
and Coates street, Philadelphia, and for mile by all re
epctable Storekeepets in thin and adjoining counties,
whom we a uthorize to give hack the money in every case
fads to give satinfacttem. Price 25 rent*.
Aleo Hobeneack's Hyena Tootlt Ache Drops. Price
12i cents, a certain cure for Tooth Ache.
Hobensuck% Rheumatic Liniment. 'Price 23 cent..
do Cureall Salve. Price 121 cents, for weak
beck,. sprain., fresh and old sores, bbtne, etc.
Hobenseck's Teller and Ringworm Ointment. Price
2 5 cents, warranted to curt all irrtiptions of the 'hin—
ter sale as above.
Philadelphia May 271—um
NEW Crop New Orleans Sows and Molasses at
feb19•0 4 41 FRY az SPANGLER*.
Written for the Columbia Spy
"TO S. J. -W."'
Alt! yes, thou now art changed to me,
Thy charms have cast a gloom
That friendship brings a sigh to me,
A sigh as of the tomb.
Inconstant one, for thee Pro Mit
A pang thou canst not feel;
Thy heartless act have caused a wound
That time can never heal.
Go forth timid the crowded hall,
And fitAtion's gayest throng;
cannot join thee in thpdance,
Nor in the mirthful song.
No curse of mine shell rest on thee,
Thy faithlessness of heart,
Let all the smiles thou'rt won't to give,
In bitterness deport.
-For thou mity'st pine for some fond heart,
To bent for thine again;
Then, false one, cast one thought on me,
And sigh, for it is vain.
A woman's love should be as pure
As holy vestal flame;
Fresh as the flower+, that deck the spring--
Not changeful as the same.
For thou an nll inconstancy,
And fickleness of heart;
Thou'st left me, ah deceitful one,
And caused this bluer smart.
But ennst' forget, when first we met,
That bright and joyous eve,
And wilt believe that I regret
That which we cant' retrieve ?
Now, false one, listen, I forgive,
Forget the wrongs thou'st done;
Forget my heart, and pleasures past,
And may hope speed thee on. A. it. a
'Wrightsville, June 20, Id 1?.
Zelcut ,Storics.
Two boys, of nearly the same age, were one day
amusing themselves with that dangerous though
not uncommon practice, pelting each other with
stones. They had chosen one of the squares of the
playground, thinking by this means to avoid mis
chief. To the consternation of the thrower, how
ever, a missile, instead of resting on the !shoulders of
the boy at whom it was aimed, entered the library
window of one of the lordly mansions forming the
Why don't you take ,to your heels, you block
head 7 you will have the polme tater you WWl'st
you arc standing there!' was the exclamation of
his companion, and be cnught him by the arm in
order to drag him from the Fpot. The author of
the mischief still retained his thoughtful position.
It your father is obliged to pay for that, you
will stand a chance of having a good thrashing,
Jack,' the other boy urged.
Never mind, Torn, leave me to myself,' was the
reply, and the young delinquent moved with unfalt
ering steps towards the door of the mansion, the
knocker of which he unhesitatingly raised. The
summons was answered by a footman.
Is the master of •the house at home?' he with
some difficulty inquired.
.He ia.'
'Then I wish to see him if you please.'
'That you can't do my man; but I'll deliver any
message for you'
'No, that will not do. I must—indeed I most
see the gentleman himself.".rhe earnestnesa and
perseverance of the boy at length induced him to
comply with his request, and opening the door of
the library, he apologized for asking his.tnaster to
ace a shabby little fellow; that he could neither
learn his business nor get rid of him.
. Bring him in,' said the gentleman addressed,
who having witnessed the transaction, and over
heard the conversation, was curious to know the
object or the boy's visit. The poor child, whose
ideas had never soared above his lather's second
floor, stood ter some moments in stupified amaze.
went when ushered into an elegant appartment ;
but remembering the painful circumstance which
had brought him into this scene of enchantment,
he in some measure gained his self possession.
'Yam very sorry, sir,' he began in a faltering
voice,. but I have broken your window. My father
is out of work just now, and cannot pay you for it,
but if you will be kind enough to take the money
a little at. a time, as I can get it, I will be sure to
Make it up; and as he spoke be drew a few half
pence from his pocket and laid them on the table.
.m 'That's an honest speech, my lad; but how am I
to be sure that you will fulfil your engagement
Mr. Cavendish returned. 'Do you knew that I
could have sent you to the station-house till the
money is made up 7'
. Olt, don't send me there, air, it would break toy
dear mother's heart. I will pay you all—indeed
I will, sir; and the poor boy burst into. a flood
• I am glad you have so much consideration for
your mother's feelings; and for her sake, I will trust
to your honesty.'
Oh thank you, sir—thank you.
• But when do you expect to be able to maim
another payment? This is a very small sum tow
ards the price ofa large square of plate glass; and
as bespoke, he glanced at the four halfpence which
the boy had spread out.
• This day week, sir, if you please.'
• Very well, let it be so. At this hour I shall be
at home to sea you' Poor Jack made his very
best bow and retired.
Tree to his appointment our high principled boy
appeared at the door of Mr. Cavendish's mansion.
As the footman had previously received orders to
admit him, lie was immediately shown into the
'I have a shilling for you to-day, sir' - he said
exultingly, and hie countenance was radiant with
• Indeed, that is a large sum for a boy like you
to obtain in so shod a time. I hope you came by
it honestly?'
A flush of crimson mounted to the cheek of poor
Jack, but it was not a flush of shame.
• I earned every penny of it, sir, excepting one
my mother gave me to make it up. he energetical
ly replied; and ho proceeded to say that he bad
been on the look-out for jobs all that week ; that be
bad held the horse of one gentleman and ran an er
rand for another; and in this Way he accounted
for eleven pence.
'Your industry and perseverance do you credit,
my lad,' Mr. Cavendish exclaimed, his benevolent
countenance lighted up with a smile. ' And nowt
I should like to know your name and plate of alai
will write it, sir, if you please. Indeed I
brought a piece of paper for the purpose of putting
clown the money. I hope I shall be able to make
it all np in a few weeks, for I am trying to get a
situation as an errand boy.'
You can write then? Do you go to school?'
'Oh, yes, sir; I go to freo school! And Jack
stepped forward to tako the pen which Mr. Caven
dish held towards him.
'You write a tolerably good band my little man.
You may, I think, do better than take an errand
boy's place. Let me see if you have any knowledge
of arithmetic.'
Jack stood boldly up, and unhesitatingly replied
to the various questions which were put to him.
' That will do my good boy. Now; when &ion.
think you will bo able to come and bring me mnro
money ?'
'I will c2me this Uwe . next week, il.l am alive.
and well, air)
•That was wisely added, my lad; for our lives
are not in our keeping. This I see you have been
Another week passed, and again Jack appeared;
but his countenance wore an aspect of sadness.
• I um very sorry, sir,' said he, I have been un.
fortunate, and have only a small sum to give you.'
And, as ho spoke, lie laid three pennyworth of
half-pence before Mr. Cavendish. • I assure you
air,' he earnestly added,. I have offered my services
to every gentleman on horseback that I could
' 1 believe you my boy ; I sin pleased with your
honest intentions. Perhips you will meet with bet
ter success another lime. Lot ore see, you have
now paid one shilling and five pence, that is not
amiss for the time,' and with an encouraging
smile, Mr. Cavendish sitfferred him to depart.
Though Mr. Cavendish had from the first, con
cealed his intentions, his heart was planning a
work of benevolence, which was nothing loss than
to befriend the poor boy whose noble conduct had
won Iris admiration. For this end he, it tew days
subsequently paid the parents a visist when he
knew that the son would be at school. He related
the incident which had brought him under his no.
lice, and proceeded to ask whether Iris conduct
towards themselves was equally praiseworthy.
.0h yes, sir,' exclaimed the mother, her eyes
filling with tears. He has ever been a dutiful
child to us, and always acts in this straight fur.
ward manner.'
• He has indeed a noble spirit, sir,' the father re.
joined; • and I am as proud of him as if he were
a prince.'
• Would you part with him r Mr. Cavendish
asked. I have something in view for his future
• Undoubtedly we would, for his benefit,' was the
reply of both.
Well then, purchase for him a new suit (dap.
parcl with these two guineas, and bring Ishii to my
residence this day week. I will acquaint you with
my views for him for the future.'
Language cannot describe the heartfelt gratitude
which beamed in the eyes of the happy parents,
nor could they find utterance.
When next our young hero came into the pre
sence of his benefactor, his appearance was certain
ly altered fur the better, though no disadvantage of
dress rouhl rob his noble countenance of its lofty
expression. Mr. Cavendish had previou,ly made
arrangements for him to become un initiate of his
own house. and had also entered his name as a pu.
pil in a neighboring school.
Jahn Williams is now receiving a liberal educa
tion, and enjoying all the advantages which wealth
can procure. Such a sudden change of position
and prospects would in many instances prmo
furious to the moral character; but with a mind
bossed upon solid principles tehich our young friend
possesses, little fear may be eine' tained that such
will be the result.
The above little sketch is authenticin every recited,
except that the names of the parties are concealed.
The events occurred a few months ego, and are
here made public, with the hope that the truth and
hcnesty, and judicious benevolence exhibited, may
stimulate others to " go and do likewise."
I translate, dear 'Spirit, the following story
from 'Lea Fetes et Souveners do Congress de Vi
enne.' I think I have seen something like it be
fore, but do not clearly remember where- Thu
book from which I have 'done into English,' the
pleasant anecdote below, wus published in Paris in
the year 1843, but so fur as J know, has never
been re-produced in our own Inngosge. I propose,
if this pleases you, to send some further extracts.
It was written by on eye.witness of that glorious
scene of devlish diplontacy.nod royal revelry, the
like of which, the world will probably never look
upon again, I mean the Congress of Vienna.
Yours, Fax.
What makes you so gay, my dear General?'
said I, as one morning the Comte de Vitt entered
my apartments, laughing very heartily.
'O! a truly amusing adventure which has just
been related to me by Ouvaroff. However, if the
details had not been given to him by the Emperor
himself, I should hardly have believed them.'
I seems that a young officer of the Navy, n pro.
tege of Count Nesselrode—who, by an odd comei.
dame had never been at St. Petersburg, nor seen
the Emperor, was sent from Vienna,as • bcnrer of
important despatclie•As.trender, here, is, es you
j.„ th the capital, fond of walking through
the streets and the public p .....
ing his majesty issued from the palace, wraWl24ll;
his ordinary military cloak, when he met a young
officer of his Navy, booted and spurred, [did he be.
long to the horse marines 7] who seemed to be en.
deavoring to find out the mode of entering the
lmee.tst residence, and to be quite uncertain to
what point he should direct his steps. Al
exander accosted him.
• You appear to be seeking somewhat 7' said he.
• True enough!' answered the officer, 'I have a
dispatch to deliver to the Emperor of Russia. I
was directed to the Palais de 'burg: Here I am!
But having been but a few moments in Vienna, I
do not know to whom to address myself that I may
' be guided, and introduced to his presence.
Alexander was charmed with the frank and open
air of tho young man, and fur his own amusement,
determined to preserve the incognito lie bad as.
You cannot now sec the Emperor,' said he.
'He is not at this time in the palace. At two
o'clock ho will ho ready to receive you.'
The conversation then entered upon a most
amicable and familiar tone. The Czar questioned
the young officer concerning his family, his ca
reer, his hopes, etc., and learned from him, that en•
tering very young into the Navy, he had never
been to court or seen his sovereign. At laet,after
walking and talking together for half an hour, Al
exander turned to the young officer and said to him
kindly :
• Sir ! you may deliver to me your despatches.
I am Alexander !
•Capital joke!' said the ether smiling, ' you the
• Yes! the Emperor of Russia r
• Good, very As much as lam the Emperor
of China!'
•Well' why not.? Who knows that you may
not bi the Emperor of China?'
Very true who knows just as you are the
Emperor of-Russia!' pleasantly answered the gay
son of Neptune.
Alexander, more and more pleased with a mis
take that promised to become truly comic,entered
into the jest with his whole heart, and-their jocose
conversation wont on, until they had reached the
ramparts. Soon after the Emperor perceived the
Ring of Prussia walking towards them.
' Dcryo-ta understand German? . said ho to his
'Not a word ^ answered the,other..
Alexander immediately advanced, and address
ed a few words to Frederick William, in German;
then returning to the young officer, ho took him by
the hand, and said
Here now is a capital opportunity for making
you acqtraiiiiia with the King of Prussia. Sir, an
officer of my fleet, whom 1 have the tumor to pre
sent to your majesty
Good ! better and better!' said the young bear
er of dispatches. The King of Prussia! You—
you arc the Emperor of Russia—and I—l am the
Emperor of China. Why not 1 my captain says,
that on his own deck, after God, he is Supreme
Ruler; and sin I not his Lieutenant T By the way,
cousin, how are matters and things in Prussia ; and
how are the good people of Berlin? Your prede
cessor, Frederick the Great, was ineontestibly a
true hero! and your grandfather, too, Peter the
First of Russia!' added he, bowing with mock po
liteness to Alexander; 'great as they were, though,
I doubt whether they could hove imitated the ex
ample of my grandsire, who, at the battle of
Teliesine, blew himself up with his ship, rather
than surrender to the Turks !`
Although all this approached so nearly to inso.
'once, it was spoken with the frankness and good
humor belonging to the sailor all over the world.
Not only did the two sovereigns take no offence,
but their mirth testified to their enjoyment of the
young man's open.heartedusse and merriment. In
the course of their walk, the three arrived at the
gate ut the public garden. The young officer very
politely invited his royal companions to enter it,
and continue their conversation over a glass of
wine. Lcd away by the folly of the moment, the
two sovereigns consented. It is necessary to have
been a witness of all that thereafter passed, to be
lieve in the possibility of the scenes that ensued.
Refreshments were served, glasses clinked famil
iarly, while the two conversed without constraint,
4nd with all that excess permitted by a royal de.
butieli in such a place.
'Here's to your health, my brother,' said iVil.
lain of Prussia, to Alexander of Russia.
• Vrai Dieu !' replied tho Emperor, 'there's
nothing wanting to u toast like that, but the salvos
of the artillery of our respective capitals.'
'Let it be as you wish, then,' said the sailor,
drawing a pistol and cocking it—' hero is a cannon
of small celibre, it is true, but it will answer for
want of a better!'
lle was about to lire, and change into a scanda.
bons scene, whet was only a sportive relaxation,
when the monarchs with difficulty persuaded him
to dispense with n demonstration so noisy. At
length they quitted the place ; but the young ullicer
oh:ornately insisted upon paying •the shot,' and
they note compelled to allow iiilll to do so.
ite.telting the buslion, thc armed began together
around the two monarchs and to show them the
customary :narks of deference. M. do Rielilieu
addressed Alexander with that respect and rever
ence due (7) to majesty. The naval officer, who
had served under the orders of the Duke at Odessa,
recognized him, turned pale, and soon saw that he
had been the dupe of a royal mystification. But
quichiy reassured by the kind trimmer of the Em.
peror, lie hastened to deliver his despatches. Alex.
ander received them with a smile at once gracious
and mischievous, and with a jester° of benevolent
condescension, dismissed the confused mariner,
who received from his sovereign an invitation to
dine the next day at the imperial table.
It is hardly necessary to add, that the jovial
sailor was nut compelled like his grandfather, to
!welt the aid of o barrel of gunpowder, to help him
rise in the world.—N. Y. Spirit of the Times.
A Landon police reporter represents a Hibernian
with a poll as red as the Red Lion at Brentford, and
rendered still redder by a copious discharge of blood,
which oozed through a dirty rag, tied over a recent
wound on his scalp, applying at the Bow street
rare for a warrant.
, NVell, rat,' witted the magistrate, (for his corn.
tenance operated as a scot of finger nevi, pointing
to the rod from whence he Caine.) • l'rhat do you
want 1'
I'd be wanting a warrant place ycr honor,' rc•
plied Pat.
'Against whom 7'
" Agin Barney O'Leary, plaso yer riscrenee.'
For what?'
For murther, ycr grace.'
Whom did he murder ?'
' Dtvil the crniurc but myself, yer honor.'
'And has he murdered you 7'
By my soul he has, bad lack to him cut
a houle in my heat big enough to bury his cat.'
He hasn't killed you outright I see.'
It's not. his fault that he hasn't yer honor, for be
intended it, and nothing surer.'
'I suppose an assault warrant will suit your pun.
• Yet honor knows what's best, sou 311
!pan di t.'
Last _
• Did he hit you with a stick?'
• 'Fore God lie didn't, yer honor, but with a
• A poker! that's a dangerous weapon.'
• Divil a doubt of it.'
• Where were you?'
• Where was 11 why in bed to be sure?'
Asleep or awake 7'
• As sound as a roach, yer honor.'
• And what provocation had you given him 1'
Divil a provocation at all yer honor; haw could
I when I was sound asleep?'
What! do yon mean wally be conic to your bed
side, and struck you in this dreadfid manner with.
out the slightest provocation.'
'lts truth what ye say, yer honor, barring Lc
come to his own bedside instead of mine.'
'llls own bedside; wore you in his bed r
'Faith, ye guessed it, yer honor.'
• And what brought you there?'
'That's more'n I can tell, yer honor, barring the
liquor that was in me.'
And was this all you did to protoke his anger?'
• Divil a thing else.'
• Was there any other person present?'
'Note creature indipindint of his wife.'
His wife!'
• Of coarse.'
'Of - course"! and don't you think you deserved
what you got r
• I. it me?'
Yes, you.*
'Sure it was all a mistake, yet honor. I thought
'twos my own wife, and divil the hair of her bead
I touched.'
• That may be, but you must be more carafe! in
future; and I think under Oithe7eircuMstanees you
must be content with what you have got—l cannot
grant a Warrant.' -
Thank yea honor ; but wherflic bets me again
it wont be for nothing' ' -
Exit Pat, shrugging up,his sholthlers, evidently
It turned out that the felle.w. went drunk to bed,
and was unconscious where - be - was till Barney
gave him a gentle hint aith 7 lll4 - iron -persuader,
and fortunately his skull was thick 'enough to resist
the intended finisher. • Barnici's wife, who was
awoke by theshock, lent h6r assistance in whack
ing him out of the room:' She expressed her utter
unconsciousness of his presence , till her lawful
lord arriveit . and discovered the ixdruder.
Why is a puppy.deg like a lover? Because it
bows and wows. .
There were lately four thousand girls at a pie.
nis in Lowell.
An indirect way of getting a glare of water at
a hoarding house, is to call for a third cup of tea.
Is there any situation worse than a lawyer's
clerk? 'Yes, that ofa lawyer's client.
A modern writer pithily remarks that 'the title
of • Esquire' is now cunferred on all who wear a
clean shirt.'
The man of truo resolution does whet ho re
solves, if for no other reason then because he has
resolved to do it.
Mr. John Gruber, a printer, of Hagerstown, Md.,
has been setting type for iiixty.livo years The
"old buss" is still at it
"Every Misery that I miss is is new mercy,"
said good old Izaak Wi.!tr.!). How few of us in
enumerating our blessings think of this.
In the hurry of a daily business, little mistaken
will unavoidably happen now and then. Nothing
is perfect except one's first baby.
The American flag floats at the pinnacle of Ori. ,
alba. 18,300 feet above the level of the sea, where
no Mexican will ever haul it down.
It is said to he very foolish for two young ladies
to hsta each other, on account at a gentleman who
does not care a rig for either of them.
A careless compositor lately dissolved tho Union
by transposing t•vo letters, whereby the United
States became Untied States.
When a witty English government defaulter, af
,er his recall, tv..s asked on his arrival borne, if he
eft India nn account of his health, ho replied,
They do say there's aonnsthing wrong in tic
CET -A Newspaper Folding Machine has been
invented in Springfield, (Miss.,) by which papers
may he folded as they came from the press. It is
now applied to a press in thut city.
Did you ever know a tall man who was an early
riser ? Such people notoriously lie long in Led•
And yet, for all that, they often mak° out to eland
very high in the world.
..........,,,,,t•••, ,
Those who eat fish, are obliged to drink water
enough for them to swim in, so the larger the Fish,
the more water is required. This is supposed to
be the reason why people don't eat whales.
A Yankee has invented a machine by which cul
prits can be hung by steam, and the sheriff may
be saved the trouble of meddling with the business.
ne half hung himself to see how it would operate,
and declares •• It works beautifuC•
"Arc you acquainted with Mr. J-, the
"No, I am not, and I do no wish to be."
"Why don't you wish to be 7"
"Because he don't trust for liquor."
The following appeared in a Philadelphia paper:
11Irs. A having been safely delivered of her nine.
tcenth child, she with her husband, would return
hearty and unfeigned thanks to Almighthy God for
his great favor, and humbly ask for a continuance
of his bleslings:
Ma,' said an inquisitive little girl,' will rich and
poor people live together when they go to heaven?'
• Yes, my dear. they will be all alike there.'
Then, me, why don't rich and poor ehrktiene
associate together here ?'
The mother did not answer.
our Brooklyn, than often occurs in this
fun-benighted country.
A oentleman who evidently had dined,
the hoar, sun ramettino ;sate rules
ferries, nearly orove over a very angry looking in
dividual, who, if any one might judge from the
acerbity of his countenance, had not; the latter
seeing the vision of a horse's head appear over his
shoulder, wheeled suddenly and caught the beast
by the bridle, looking horse whips at the incumbent
of the carriage.
'What the d—l do you mean by catching hold
of my horse V said the driver.
And what the d—t do you mean by almost driv
ing over rue 1' replied the holder, in the trao Yan.
kco spirit of answering ono question by asking
'Let go the horse!'
I will not:'
The driver dismounted, advanced toward the
other, whip in hand, and shortening hie hold upon
the handle, sung out in a voice of thunder, I tell
you, sir, let go that horse r
I'll be d—d if I do:'
You won't 7' No.'
Well, then: replied the driver, throwing his
whip into the vehicle, and planting his hands cool.
fortably in his pockets, Well, then, just hold him,
will you?' $o saying, with a petits bow and quiz.
zieal grin, vanished into the cabin.
The crowd of passengers who had been standing
'spectators of the fight' roared aloud, not quite as
gently, however, as sucking dome, end the
contending party, dropping the reins as if they
were unpleasantly warm, marched off to the other
end of the boat, his whole appearance bearing a
striking resemblance to that of a man detected in
the act of perloining hie neighbor's mutton.
r. rIXD, Ja.
Ridicule is the dagger-point of Satan—the most
unworthy support of disappointed friends—con
victed depravity's last resort. The wicked may
employ it with some appearance of propriety; but
the professing christian appropriates it at his peril.
For the very existence of ir;.is. a proof positive of
the weakness of the cause avowed, or the inability
of its supporter to defend it by a more worthy and
true course of resorting. As the proud oppressor,
weakened in his sovereignty by his own unjust ac
tion, takes flight to the protection of his towers,
and with unequalled numbers, beats back, with ten
fold cruelty, his more worthy opponents—so the
supporter of a weak and unjust cause, finding his
strength declining—and too proud to submit—re
treats to the battlements of ridicule, and renews.
the, contest, though less honorably, yet more sue.:
Ridicule may be considered as threefold in 'ope
ration. Itsfirst, and most cruel tendency is Loop.
press, or distress the simple minded, or modest; a
number of whom compose a portion of altnost ev.
cry assembly. Its second, and moat wicked, is to
feud the unholy appetites of the eoiddisposed, who
unfortunately, are too frequently, the greatest ad.
misers and supporters of angry discussion: aid its
third, is to excite the disgust or contempt of the no
ble minded. Rather titan carrying conviction to
the heart of an opponent,it but strengthens the op
position which we should labor to win, and sets him
more distant from us. It is the re-thrusted poign.
ard, stirring up the already painful wound to ten
fold excitement and agony.
Christ never ridiculed those who di f fered from
him. Thought overstepping the boundary of opin
ion they resorted to violence, and hung him man
gled and bleeding upon the ignominious cross. lie
turned not, in anger noon his oppressors, nor call
ed in indignation, the flaming legions at his com
mand, to crush their wicked designs; but while
bearing the unspeakadle tortures of the flesh-pierc
ing nails and spy ir, lie plead their cause before
Heaven, otTering to his father the plea of ignorance
in their behalf. Here was en example worthy of
the christian professor; an example which his very
name declares should be appreciated. Is man
greater than his Saviour that he should set up his
judgment against the opinion of his fellow ? Is
mortal superior to the Eternal that lie should pun
ish with cutting ridicule all who differ from him in
thought, speech, or action !
Oh thiat the lic.irt of man was more open to the
promptings of charity, which, like the new fallen
snow, shuts out front our prejudiced view, the faults
of others, only to nourish in the heart the vegeta
tion of righteousness, so necessary to its immortal
Charity is as necessary to the Christian eharac.
ter, us food is to the natural body. The want of it
has been the rnin.of many, safe, but in their own
conceit: while legions, wu fear, deceived in like
manner, are wending their way down the same
broad road to ruin. Observe the course of profes
sors in their personal disputes—how harsh in every
utterance—how distorted their countenances—how
cruel and condemnatory their parting expressions.
Separating in anger, each goes on his way coin;
pinining °film other, and too often, with a determi
nation-to seek seine means of petty revenge.
Mark the excitement and anger displayed in our
business meetings. The smallest matter will ellen
create disorder—words arc spoken in ginger—liarsh
allusions are made, and the more talented brethren
display themselves at the cost of the most worthy
'end weak. 'Valle up any one of our sectarian pe
riodicals, and lot what renown is displayed by dis
puting correspondents, while each endeavors' to
crush the other, the people quietly smile with ad.
miretion or contempt of the favorite champion, of
their choice. The truth seems lost in the hem
bastic array of mere words; and the termination
of all is that infidelity is strengthened at the ex
pense of christianity. But. this is not the only ex
tent to which the spirit. of ridicule and inconsist
ency has reached. We have seen ministers of the
Gospel indulge in it to the utmost of their ability,
and even at the risk of the holy Interests. We
have seen the very activity and devotion of the
church, atter long years of confidence and respect,
held lip before the world, as a laughing stork ;
whose only alleged crime is difference of opinion
with their pastor. This should not be. It is an cr.
ror into which too many have fallen,and which
calls loudly fur reform. It arises we think from
the want of (het charity so highly commended by
Christ to-the Apostles, and to the illustration of
which whole chapters of the Sacred Scriplurca
are devoted, Charity cannot exist in an tames.
pliere of 7 idicule "and ridicule vanishes at once at
the approach of charity, as escapes the morning
dew front the presence of the sun.
The only true object of controversy, is the ad
rancement of truth. And to accomplish this how
many obstacles have to be overcome. Error deep
rooted mud be dislodged,and old and established
prejudices aro to be surmounted. Though these
may be numerous, it is vain for us to hope fur vic
tory till they be substantially r.VCITOUIC, And
what arc the most effectual weapons, as well as the
most consistent? Ridicule will nut do, frir every
stroke of this infernal instrument tends to catifirm
error and strengthen prejudice. Andforee,though
in the 'lends of tyrants, may effectually gain the
body, can never win the heart. Th om; .sus one
rightful and consistent resort !,_, rl
~n th e Christian,
that is to time aisl e' LAIARZTVaO Loire.
rn e .
ArRIC.V4 Acnicecrone.—The following is es
tracted from a DOmber of the African Luminary,
'ecoicl by the last arrival at Boston :
our farms. itrukfzni.., , m....4r9tivitanelsomplo with
year, besides affording provender for 50 or 60
mouths, (the number I have in my employment,
and connected with my family,) I hove sold there
from in eatables alone, about 6600, the greater
portion to men-of-war, and the same land on
which I rsiecd these vegetables, (say 25 acres,)
have coffee regularly set out 12 or 14 feet apart,
some of which arc bearing. though plantCd some
time after you left this circuit. I appreciate my
farming operations more than all my com
mercial business, and hope to move out (though
not break up entirely in town) as soon as we can
get a few more immigrants.
"My plan is, when vessels ore in harbor, and I
have business with them, I stay in town and at.
tend to it—when they leave, instead of walking
about the street, I go to soy Cam and go ahead
and tell my boys to follow on; and thus we get
along cheerfully, and my farm is well attended tn.
It is time for all our thinking citizens in every
settlement to begin to show examples of industry
and economy ; this, with piety, is the foundation
of our infant republic."
Gr.n. Wastnnormes ',MARV, that is the por
tion of it Fold to Mr. Stevenit, of Vermont, has
been purchased by a number of citizen of Boston,
for presentation to the Athenaeum. It contains,
in all, about 750 bound columes, and from 800 to
1000 pamphlets, unbound, nearly all of whieb
belonged to tho Library of Washington. About
350 contain his autograph, and a few notes in his
hand writing. .