The Columbia spy. and literary register. (Columbia, Pa.) 1848-1848, July 08, 1848, Image 1
ONE DOLLAR NEW SERIES, VOL. 2, NO, I.] CF.O. W, SCHROYEB,-Editor and Publisher. Office—Front Strcet; three doors above Locust. Timms.—The Sea is published every Saturday morning at fiat low price of SI per annum IN ADVANCE, or one dollar and fifty cents, If Hot paid within one month of the time of subscribing,. Single copies, THREE CENTS. No paper will be discontinued until' all arrearages are paid. No subscription received, or paper discontinued, for a less period than sir months. Letters to receive attention, mutt be post-paid. TERMS OF ADVERTISING. [Fifteen lines or less to the square.] Advertisements twill be inserted three times at the rate tat St per square; for every subsequent insertion after the third, ..S cents will be charged. The marnber of insertions tlesired‘must be marked, or the advertisement will be con tinued until ordered out, and charged accordingly. A liberal deduction will be made on the above prices tosoe.rly advertisers. PIIGUIELEIIA. ADVERTISENENS..: WILY WILL you' SUFFER. Thousands of bottles of the AMERICAN COMPOUND has been sold during thapast year, and was never known to fail of curing, in a few days, the most cases of a certain delicate disease. Simms) weslcness and all diseaseeof the Urinary organs. Persons afflicted using this pleasant and popular remedy, need•feirr no exposure, as it leaves no. odor on the breath ; requires no restrictions in diet or business--contains no Mercury or noxious drugs, injurious to the system, and is adapted to every age, sex. and condition. It is also the best remedy known for Fluor Albus or Whites, (female complaints) with which thousands suffer, without the knowledge of a remedy. This celebrated remedy has long been used in the private practice of n physician with unerring sucuess, radically curing ninety-nine of the hun dred cases in a few days. Around each bottle are plain and full directions. ED — CAUTION.—Ask for the. AMERICAN COMPOU - D. and purchase only of the agent. Price $1 a bottle, Sold by June 3, 101e.-I.y. R. WILLIAMS. ZATXURIZIS Ton MLR at the sign of the "Red Curtain," Fourth and Market Street, Philadelphia. 0. WHEELOCK, Pnorrarron CAKES :—Pruit, Sponge, Pound, Iced, Spiced, Queen Cakes; Scotch Cakes, Lemon Cakes, Short Cakes, Cheese Cakes, Runk, Apples, Jumbles, Spice Nuts, and Ginger Nuts. PlES:—Strawberry, Burtleberry,Blackberry, Currant. Cherry, Plum, Cranberry, Egg Custard, Cheese Custard, Apple, Peach, Mince, and ftheubarb pouring in hot from the oven at all hours at the day. CHEESE:—Timothy Jackson's. Ne Plus Ultra Medal Cheese, (very superior,) Pine Apple Cheese, and a great variety of the Cheese, both new and old. N. D. Some of the Cheese sold at this esuddislinient is equal to the best Engli4a Cheese. nWr • TEMPERANCE DRlNKS—always cold—Ron ell's Mineral Na ten Lemonade, Beer, 11.1ead, Asc, Philadelphia, June 10, let .—dm COVNTR7it IVIERCICANTS. AN save from 16 to 15 per cent. by purchas ing their OIL CLOTHS direct from the mmtufaclu- I'OTTER & CARMICHAEL have opened a Ware house, N 0.135 North Third Street above Race, second door South of the Eagle Hotel, PHILAIMPLIA, where they will always keep on hand a complete assortment of PATENT ELASTIC CARRIAGE OIL crxrrus t 20, 36. 40.46, 40, and 81, inches wide. Figured, Painted, and Plain, on the inside, on Muslin Drilling and Linen. Tant.c Om Cs.orns of the most desirable patterns, all. 40, 40, and 34 inches wide. Ftdon OIL CLOTHS. tram 2., in ches to dl feet wide well seasoned, and the newest style of patterns, all of their own manufacture. Transparent Window Shades. Carpets, &e. All goods warranted Philadelphia, May 07-3 m .-r,4zi OF THE NEW CROP. DAVID RAAB, Chestnut Street, PHILADELPHIA, has for sale the following TEAS, viz: 500 half chests young Tyson Teas. 100 do Gunpowder, do. 150 do Imperial, do. 10 do Dyson do. 1000 do Powchong, do. 200 do Is:itipmng Souchong 100 do Oolong, do. 75 chests Padre Souchong. 45 do Murk leaf Pekoe. 25 half chests, do do. 25 do Orange do. 1000 mans Cassia. These Tcas comprise the hest chops mtported in ships Sea Witch, Rainbow. TOINUM, Inca. and Iluntress, and are equal to any tens that have helm offered sit this market. Philadelphia, May 6,1518.--11 m GREAT DESTILI7CTION. I_lOW many die a most horrible death without the simple cause being suspected. Some linger for years, as they suppose. from chspepsm, n hen it is norms, which causes most diseases. There has come under our notice several cases of supposed dispepsiti, of several years' standing, when we hove recommended the Syrup. which has entirely restored them to health. We would say to MILTS wlicn they arc aillicted with Sour Stomach, Sick Head Ache, Fits, a frequent deceive to make Stools, Leanness, Bloated Stomach, Nervousness, Sickness otter eating. Sensisnon of rising in the throat after ending. &c.. be assured it is simply worms, and it needs hut a trial of 11013ENSACK'S WORM SYRUP to Salley you 111, so, and if you have any of the above symptoms and the Syrup fails to cure, the agent will re fund the money. 'l'o PARENTS we would any, that tine greatest sin you are convicted of, is to let your children sulfer and die, n lain there is a simple pleasant Vegetable remedy at band. St is said by our oldest Physicians, that Worms cause more deaths yearly, than all the other dis eases the human family are subject to. Then. hose im portant it is to have a •itle and pleasant remedy at hand. Parents, when your children have sore or inflamed eyes. you may rest satisfied that it is caused by worms. and you will do well to call on the storekeepers of your neighborhood and get a Book of Ilobtinsack - s. contauung certificates of cures end the symptoms of warms. Al ways keep a Bottle of Hobensack's None Syrup on hand, it is rt friend in need. READ ON READ ON!! READ ON!!! 'Amax Honsassot--Gentlemen I take great pleasure in informing yon of the great efficacy of your Worm Sy rup ; having been afflicted for five years, and w beed ast away to a mere skeleton, without removing any nefit trom various medicines, I was induced by Jesse Roberts to try your Worm Syrup, as he informed me it had brought worms from him; also, of Squire A. Tomlinson, of Hocks county, n man over fifty years old. whom I am well ac gummed with. I then commenced talcug your gr , .P. and it brought a very large quantity of worms. some ten inches to length. rind entirely restored me to health, and, I must say I feel like a new mail. Yours, truly. JOHN HART, Plait co. Hart is a gentleman thirty-three years of age, living five miles out of the city, back of Second at. road, and is (tidy one amongst the hundred grown persons that have been saved by HOBENSACK'S\VORM Nlessrs. Ilobensack : I have been looking for some of your Wonn Syrup for some time ; I have sold all but one bottle ; I with you to send me two dozen immediately. I believe it to be a good medicine ; I have seen it tried to my satisfaction. Have known one dose to bring from a child three worms, ten inches long, and from another twenty worms, eight Indies long in one day. I have sold different Worm Me dicines for a number of yenrs, but never sold any that gave such universal satisfaction. Respectfully, yours, intooicrlELD, Bridgeton, New Jersey Parn.Antisnu., May 1947. Messrs, J. Y. & C. S. Holiensark—Gentlemen—l have been for some time using your " Verrnifuge in my prac tice, and I am happy to say that In my hands it fins sue seeded in Its intention, so as fully to Justify my confidence in its use. I thing it among the very beet preparationit use. C. W. ArrtzroN, M. n.,1N0. 46, South at Prepared only by' 3. N. & 0. S. 11011FINSACK, and Coates street, Philadelphia, and for mile by all re epctable Storekeepets in thin and adjoining counties, whom we a uthorize to give hack the money in every case fads to give satinfacttem. Price 25 rent*. Aleo Hobeneack's Hyena Tootlt Ache Drops. Price 12i cents, a certain cure for Tooth Ache. Hobensuck% Rheumatic Liniment. 'Price 23 cent.. do Cureall Salve. Price 121 cents, for weak beck,. sprain., fresh and old sores, bbtne, etc. Hobenseck's Teller and Ringworm Ointment. Price 2 5 cents, warranted to curt all irrtiptions of the 'hin— ter sale as above. Philadelphia May 271—um 5110113113. NEW Crop New Orleans Sows and Molasses at feb19•0 4 41 FRY az SPANGLER*. THL COLUMBIA SPY. A YEAR LN ADVANCE.] AND LITERARY REGISTE' 81,56;, PAYABLE AT Written for the Columbia Spy "TO S. J. -W."' Alt! yes, thou now art changed to me, Thy charms have cast a gloom That friendship brings a sigh to me, A sigh as of the tomb. Inconstant one, for thee Pro Mit A pang thou canst not feel; Thy heartless act have caused a wound That time can never heal. Go forth timid the crowded hall, And fitAtion's gayest throng; cannot join thee in thpdance, Nor in the mirthful song. No curse of mine shell rest on thee, Thy faithlessness of heart, Let all the smiles thou'rt won't to give, In bitterness deport. -For thou mity'st pine for some fond heart, To bent for thine again; Then, false one, cast one thought on me, And sigh, for it is vain. A woman's love should be as pure As holy vestal flame; Fresh as the flower+, that deck the spring-- Not changeful as the same. For thou an nll inconstancy, And fickleness of heart; Thou'st left me, ah deceitful one, And caused this bluer smart. But ennst' forget, when first we met, That bright and joyous eve, And wilt believe that I regret That which we cant' retrieve ? Now, false one, listen, I forgive, Forget the wrongs thou'st done; Forget my heart, and pleasures past, And may hope speed thee on. A. it. a 'Wrightsville, June 20, Id 1?. Zelcut ,Storics. TRUTH AND HONESTY. A BEAUTIFUL LESSON FOR BOYS Two boys, of nearly the same age, were one day amusing themselves with that dangerous though not uncommon practice, pelting each other with stones. They had chosen one of the squares of the playground, thinking by this means to avoid mis chief. To the consternation of the thrower, how ever, a missile, instead of resting on the !shoulders of the boy at whom it was aimed, entered the library window of one of the lordly mansions forming the quadrangle. Why don't you take ,to your heels, you block head 7 you will have the polme tater you WWl'st you arc standing there!' was the exclamation of his companion, and be cnught him by the arm in order to drag him from the Fpot. The author of the mischief still retained his thoughtful position. It your father is obliged to pay for that, you will stand a chance of having a good thrashing, Jack,' the other boy urged. Never mind, Torn, leave me to myself,' was the reply, and the young delinquent moved with unfalt ering steps towards the door of the mansion, the knocker of which he unhesitatingly raised. The summons was answered by a footman. Is the master of •the house at home?' he with some difficulty inquired. .He ia.' 'Then I wish to see him if you please.' 'That you can't do my man; but I'll deliver any message for you' 'No, that will not do. I must—indeed I most see the gentleman himself.".rhe earnestnesa and perseverance of the boy at length induced him to comply with his request, and opening the door of the library, he apologized for asking his.tnaster to ace a shabby little fellow; that he could neither learn his business nor get rid of him. . Bring him in,' said the gentleman addressed, who having witnessed the transaction, and over heard the conversation, was curious to know the object or the boy's visit. The poor child, whose ideas had never soared above his lather's second floor, stood ter some moments in stupified amaze. went when ushered into an elegant appartment ; but remembering the painful circumstance which had brought him into this scene of enchantment, he in some measure gained his self possession. 'Yam very sorry, sir,' he began in a faltering voice,. but I have broken your window. My father is out of work just now, and cannot pay you for it, but if you will be kind enough to take the money a little at. a time, as I can get it, I will be sure to Make it up; and as he spoke be drew a few half pence from his pocket and laid them on the table. .m 'That's an honest speech, my lad; but how am I to be sure that you will fulfil your engagement Mr. Cavendish returned. 'Do you knew that I could have sent you to the station-house till the money is made up 7' . Olt, don't send me there, air, it would break toy dear mother's heart. I will pay you all—indeed I will, sir; and the poor boy burst into. a flood • I am glad you have so much consideration for your mother's feelings; and for her sake, I will trust to your honesty.' Oh thank you, sir—thank you. • But when do you expect to be able to maim another payment? This is a very small sum tow ards the price ofa large square of plate glass; and as bespoke, he glanced at the four halfpence which the boy had spread out. • This day week, sir, if you please.' • Very well, let it be so. At this hour I shall be at home to sea you' Poor Jack made his very best bow and retired. Tree to his appointment our high principled boy appeared at the door of Mr. Cavendish's mansion. As the footman had previously received orders to admit him, lie was immediately shown into the library. 'I have a shilling for you to-day, sir' - he said exultingly, and hie countenance was radiant with smiles. • Indeed, that is a large sum for a boy like you to obtain in so shod a time. I hope you came by it honestly?' A flush of crimson mounted to the cheek of poor Jack, but it was not a flush of shame. • I earned every penny of it, sir, excepting one my mother gave me to make it up. he energetical ly replied; and ho proceeded to say that he bad been on the look-out for jobs all that week ; that be bad held the horse of one gentleman and ran an er rand for another; and in this Way he accounted for eleven pence. 'Your industry and perseverance do you credit, my lad,' Mr. Cavendish exclaimed, his benevolent countenance lighted up with a smile. ' And nowt I should like to know your name and plate of alai deoce: Pietro. COLUMBIA, SATURDAY, JULY 8, 1848 will write it, sir, if you please. Indeed I brought a piece of paper for the purpose of putting clown the money. I hope I shall be able to make it all np in a few weeks, for I am trying to get a situation as an errand boy.' You can write then? Do you go to school?' 'Oh, yes, sir; I go to freo school! And Jack stepped forward to tako the pen which Mr. Caven dish held towards him. 'You write a tolerably good band my little man. You may, I think, do better than take an errand boy's place. Let me see if you have any knowledge of arithmetic.' Jack stood boldly up, and unhesitatingly replied to the various questions which were put to him. ' That will do my good boy. Now; when &ion. think you will bo able to come and bring me mnro money ?' 'I will c2me this Uwe . next week, il.l am alive. and well, air) •That was wisely added, my lad; for our lives are not in our keeping. This I see you have been taught.' Another week passed, and again Jack appeared; but his countenance wore an aspect of sadness. • I um very sorry, sir,' said he, I have been un. fortunate, and have only a small sum to give you.' And, as ho spoke, lie laid three pennyworth of half-pence before Mr. Cavendish. • I assure you air,' he earnestly added,. I have offered my services to every gentleman on horseback that I could ace.' ' 1 believe you my boy ; I sin pleased with your honest intentions. Perhips you will meet with bet ter success another lime. Lot ore see, you have now paid one shilling and five pence, that is not amiss for the time,' and with an encouraging smile, Mr. Cavendish sitfferred him to depart. Though Mr. Cavendish had from the first, con cealed his intentions, his heart was planning a work of benevolence, which was nothing loss than to befriend the poor boy whose noble conduct had won Iris admiration. For this end he, it tew days subsequently paid the parents a visist when he knew that the son would be at school. He related the incident which had brought him under his no. lice, and proceeded to ask whether Iris conduct towards themselves was equally praiseworthy. .0h yes, sir,' exclaimed the mother, her eyes filling with tears. He has ever been a dutiful child to us, and always acts in this straight fur. ward manner.' • He has indeed a noble spirit, sir,' the father re. joined; • and I am as proud of him as if he were a prince.' • Would you part with him r Mr. Cavendish asked. I have something in view for his future benefit.' • Undoubtedly we would, for his benefit,' was the reply of both. Well then, purchase for him a new suit (dap. parcl with these two guineas, and bring Ishii to my residence this day week. I will acquaint you with my views for him for the future.' Language cannot describe the heartfelt gratitude which beamed in the eyes of the happy parents, nor could they find utterance. When next our young hero came into the pre sence of his benefactor, his appearance was certain ly altered fur the better, though no disadvantage of dress rouhl rob his noble countenance of its lofty expression. Mr. Cavendish had previou,ly made arrangements for him to become un initiate of his own house. and had also entered his name as a pu. pil in a neighboring school. Jahn Williams is now receiving a liberal educa tion, and enjoying all the advantages which wealth can procure. Such a sudden change of position and prospects would in many instances prmo furious to the moral character; but with a mind bossed upon solid principles tehich our young friend possesses, little fear may be eine' tained that such will be the result. The above little sketch is authenticin every recited, except that the names of the parties are concealed. The events occurred a few months ego, and are here made public, with the hope that the truth and hcnesty, and judicious benevolence exhibited, may stimulate others to " go and do likewise." =12122 THE THREE EMPERORS. I translate, dear 'Spirit, the following story from 'Lea Fetes et Souveners do Congress de Vi enne.' I think I have seen something like it be fore, but do not clearly remember where- Thu book from which I have 'done into English,' the pleasant anecdote below, wus published in Paris in the year 1843, but so fur as J know, has never been re-produced in our own Inngosge. I propose, if this pleases you, to send some further extracts. It was written by on eye.witness of that glorious scene of devlish diplontacy.nod royal revelry, the like of which, the world will probably never look upon again, I mean the Congress of Vienna. Yours, Fax. What makes you so gay, my dear General?' said I, as one morning the Comte de Vitt entered my apartments, laughing very heartily. 'O! a truly amusing adventure which has just been related to me by Ouvaroff. However, if the details had not been given to him by the Emperor himself, I should hardly have believed them.' I seems that a young officer of the Navy, n pro. tege of Count Nesselrode—who, by an odd comei. dame had never been at St. Petersburg, nor seen the Emperor, was sent from Vienna,as • bcnrer of important despatclie•As.trender, here, is, es you j.„ th the capital, fond of walking through the streets and the public p ..... ing his majesty issued from the palace, wraWl24ll; his ordinary military cloak, when he met a young officer of his Navy, booted and spurred, [did he be. long to the horse marines 7] who seemed to be en. deavoring to find out the mode of entering the lmee.tst residence, and to be quite uncertain to wards what point he should direct his steps. Al exander accosted him. • You appear to be seeking somewhat 7' said he. • True enough!' answered the officer, 'I have a dispatch to deliver to the Emperor of Russia. I was directed to the Palais de 'burg: Here I am! But having been but a few moments in Vienna, I do not know to whom to address myself that I may ' be guided, and introduced to his presence. Alexander was charmed with the frank and open air of tho young man, and fur his own amusement, determined to preserve the incognito lie bad as. Burned. You cannot now sec the Emperor,' said he. 'He is not at this time in the palace. At two o'clock ho will ho ready to receive you.' The conversation then entered upon a most amicable and familiar tone. The Czar questioned the young officer concerning his family, his ca reer, his hopes, etc., and learned from him, that en• tering very young into the Navy, he had never been to court or seen his sovereign. At laet,after walking and talking together for half an hour, Al exander turned to the young officer and said to him kindly : • Sir ! you may deliver to me your despatches. I am Alexander ! •Capital joke!' said the ether smiling, ' you the Emperor • Yes! the Emperor of Russia r • Good, very As much as lam the Emperor of China!' , •Well' why not.? Who knows that you may not bi the Emperor of China?' Very true who knows just as you are the Emperor of-Russia!' pleasantly answered the gay son of Neptune. Alexander, more and more pleased with a mis take that promised to become truly comic,entered into the jest with his whole heart, and-their jocose conversation wont on, until they had reached the ramparts. Soon after the Emperor perceived the Ring of Prussia walking towards them. ' Dcryo-ta understand German? . said ho to his companion. 'Not a word ^ answered the,other.. Alexander immediately advanced, and address ed a few words to Frederick William, in German; then returning to the young officer, ho took him by the hand, and said Here now is a capital opportunity for making you acqtraiiiiia with the King of Prussia. Sir, an officer of my fleet, whom 1 have the tumor to pre sent to your majesty Good ! better and better!' said the young bear er of dispatches. The King of Prussia! You— you arc the Emperor of Russia—and I—l am the Emperor of China. Why not 1 my captain says, that on his own deck, after God, he is Supreme Ruler; and sin I not his Lieutenant T By the way, cousin, how are matters and things in Prussia ; and how are the good people of Berlin? Your prede cessor, Frederick the Great, was ineontestibly a true hero! and your grandfather, too, Peter the First of Russia!' added he, bowing with mock po liteness to Alexander; 'great as they were, though, I doubt whether they could hove imitated the ex ample of my grandsire, who, at the battle of Teliesine, blew himself up with his ship, rather than surrender to the Turks !` Although all this approached so nearly to inso. 'once, it was spoken with the frankness and good humor belonging to the sailor all over the world. Not only did the two sovereigns take no offence, but their mirth testified to their enjoyment of the young man's open.heartedusse and merriment. In the course of their walk, the three arrived at the gate ut the public garden. The young officer very politely invited his royal companions to enter it, and continue their conversation over a glass of wine. Lcd away by the folly of the moment, the two sovereigns consented. It is necessary to have been a witness of all that thereafter passed, to be lieve in the possibility of the scenes that ensued. Refreshments were served, glasses clinked famil iarly, while the two conversed without constraint, 4nd with all that excess permitted by a royal de. butieli in such a place. 'Here's to your health, my brother,' said iVil. lain of Prussia, to Alexander of Russia. • Vrai Dieu !' replied tho Emperor, 'there's nothing wanting to u toast like that, but the salvos of the artillery of our respective capitals.' 'Let it be as you wish, then,' said the sailor, drawing a pistol and cocking it—' hero is a cannon of small celibre, it is true, but it will answer for want of a better!' lle was about to lire, and change into a scanda. bons scene, whet was only a sportive relaxation, when the monarchs with difficulty persuaded him to dispense with n demonstration so noisy. At length they quitted the place ; but the young ullicer oh:ornately insisted upon paying •the shot,' and they note compelled to allow iiilll to do so. ite.telting the buslion, thc armed began together around the two monarchs and to show them the customary :narks of deference. M. do Rielilieu addressed Alexander with that respect and rever ence due (7) to majesty. The naval officer, who had served under the orders of the Duke at Odessa, recognized him, turned pale, and soon saw that he had been the dupe of a royal mystification. But quichiy reassured by the kind trimmer of the Em. peror, lie hastened to deliver his despatches. Alex. ander received them with a smile at once gracious and mischievous, and with a jester° of benevolent condescension, dismissed the confused mariner, who received from his sovereign an invitation to dine the next day at the imperial table. It is hardly necessary to add, that the jovial sailor was nut compelled like his grandfather, to !welt the aid of o barrel of gunpowder, to help him rise in the world.—N. Y. Spirit of the Times. COIVEDY OF ERRORS. A Landon police reporter represents a Hibernian with a poll as red as the Red Lion at Brentford, and rendered still redder by a copious discharge of blood, which oozed through a dirty rag, tied over a recent wound on his scalp, applying at the Bow street rare for a warrant. , NVell, rat,' witted the magistrate, (for his corn. tenance operated as a scot of finger nevi, pointing to the rod from whence he Caine.) • l'rhat do you want 1' I'd be wanting a warrant place ycr honor,' rc• plied Pat. 'Against whom 7' " Agin Barney O'Leary, plaso yer riscrenee.' For what?' For murther, ycr grace.' Whom did he murder ?' ' Dtvil the crniurc but myself, yer honor.' 'And has he murdered you 7' By my soul he has, bad lack to him cut a houle in my heat big enough to bury his cat.' He hasn't killed you outright I see.' It's not. his fault that he hasn't yer honor, for be intended it, and nothing surer.' 'I suppose an assault warrant will suit your pun. • Yet honor knows what's best, sou 311 !pan di t.' Last _ • Did he hit you with a stick?' • 'Fore God lie didn't, yer honor, but with a poker.' • A poker! that's a dangerous weapon.' • Divil a doubt of it.' • Where were you?' • Where was 11 why in bed to be sure?' Asleep or awake 7' • As sound as a roach, yer honor.' • And what provocation had you given him 1' Divil a provocation at all yer honor; haw could I when I was sound asleep?' What! do yon mean wally be conic to your bed side, and struck you in this dreadfid manner with. out the slightest provocation.' 'lts truth what ye say, yer honor, barring Lc come to his own bedside instead of mine.' 'llls own bedside; wore you in his bed r 'Faith, ye guessed it, yer honor.' • And what brought you there?' 'That's more'n I can tell, yer honor, barring the liquor that was in me.' And was this all you did to protoke his anger?' • Divil a thing else.' • Was there any other person present?' 'Note creature indipindint of his wife.' His wife!' • Of coarse.' 'Of - course"! and don't you think you deserved what you got r • I. it me?' Yes, you.* 'Sure it was all a mistake, yet honor. I thought 'twos my own wife, and divil the hair of her bead I touched.' • That may be, but you must be more carafe! in future; and I think under Oithe7eircuMstanees you must be content with what you have got—l cannot grant a Warrant.' - Thank yea honor ; but wherflic bets me again it wont be for nothing' ' - Exit Pat, shrugging up,his sholthlers, evidently disappointed. It turned out that the felle.w. went drunk to bed, and was unconscious where - be - was till Barney gave him a gentle hint aith 7 lll4 - iron -persuader, and fortunately his skull was thick 'enough to resist the intended finisher. • Barnici's wife, who was awoke by theshock, lent h6r assistance in whack ing him out of the room:' She expressed her utter unconsciousness of his presence , till her lawful lord arriveit . and discovered the ixdruder. tiscTUaitcou9. Why is a puppy.deg like a lover? Because it bows and wows. . There were lately four thousand girls at a pie. nis in Lowell. An indirect way of getting a glare of water at a hoarding house, is to call for a third cup of tea. Is there any situation worse than a lawyer's clerk? 'Yes, that ofa lawyer's client. A modern writer pithily remarks that 'the title of • Esquire' is now cunferred on all who wear a clean shirt.' The man of truo resolution does whet ho re solves, if for no other reason then because he has resolved to do it. Mr. John Gruber, a printer, of Hagerstown, Md., has been setting type for iiixty.livo years The "old buss" is still at it El= "Every Misery that I miss is is new mercy," said good old Izaak Wi.!tr.!). How few of us in enumerating our blessings think of this. In the hurry of a daily business, little mistaken will unavoidably happen now and then. Nothing is perfect except one's first baby. =2 The American flag floats at the pinnacle of Ori. , alba. 18,300 feet above the level of the sea, where no Mexican will ever haul it down. It is said to he very foolish for two young ladies to hsta each other, on account at a gentleman who does not care a rig for either of them. I=2 A careless compositor lately dissolved tho Union by transposing t•vo letters, whereby the United States became Untied States. • When a witty English government defaulter, af ,er his recall, tv..s asked on his arrival borne, if he eft India nn account of his health, ho replied, They do say there's aonnsthing wrong in tic =ECI CET -A Newspaper Folding Machine has been invented in Springfield, (Miss.,) by which papers may he folded as they came from the press. It is now applied to a press in thut city. Did you ever know a tall man who was an early riser ? Such people notoriously lie long in Led• And yet, for all that, they often mak° out to eland very high in the world. ..........,,,,,t•••, , Those who eat fish, are obliged to drink water enough for them to swim in, so the larger the Fish, the more water is required. This is supposed to be the reason why people don't eat whales. I= A Yankee has invented a machine by which cul prits can be hung by steam, and the sheriff may be saved the trouble of meddling with the business. ne half hung himself to see how it would operate, and declares •• It works beautifuC• "Arc you acquainted with Mr. J-, the grocer." "No, I am not, and I do no wish to be." "Why don't you wish to be 7" "Because he don't trust for liquor." I= The following appeared in a Philadelphia paper: 11Irs. A having been safely delivered of her nine. tcenth child, she with her husband, would return hearty and unfeigned thanks to Almighthy God for his great favor, and humbly ask for a continuance of his bleslings: ==72 Ma,' said an inquisitive little girl,' will rich and poor people live together when they go to heaven?' • Yes, my dear. they will be all alike there.' Then, me, why don't rich and poor ehrktiene associate together here ?' The mother did not answer. ALMOST A FIGHT; OR A TALF. OF A tIGSSE. ; ; 74 our Brooklyn fcrry.boats, than often occurs in this fun-benighted country. A oentleman who evidently had dined, the hoar, sun ramettino ;sate rules ferries, nearly orove over a very angry looking in dividual, who, if any one might judge from the acerbity of his countenance, had not; the latter seeing the vision of a horse's head appear over his shoulder, wheeled suddenly and caught the beast by the bridle, looking horse whips at the incumbent of the carriage. 'What the d—l do you mean by catching hold of my horse V said the driver. And what the d—t do you mean by almost driv ing over rue 1' replied the holder, in the trao Yan. kco spirit of answering ono question by asking another. 'Let go the horse!' I will not:' The driver dismounted, advanced toward the other, whip in hand, and shortening hie hold upon the handle, sung out in a voice of thunder, I tell you, sir, let go that horse r I'll be d—d if I do:' You won't 7' No.' Well, then: replied the driver, throwing his whip into the vehicle, and planting his hands cool. fortably in his pockets, Well, then, just hold him, will you?' $o saying, with a petits bow and quiz. zieal grin, vanished into the cabin. The crowd of passengers who had been standing 'spectators of the fight' roared aloud, not quite as gently, however, as sucking dome, end the contending party, dropping the reins as if they were unpleasantly warm, marched off to the other end of the boat, his whole appearance bearing a striking resemblance to that of a man detected in the act of perloining hie neighbor's mutton. AR r. rIXD, Ja. SIX MONTHS. [WHOLE NUMBER, 944. RIDICULE. Ridicule is the dagger-point of Satan—the most unworthy support of disappointed friends—con victed depravity's last resort. The wicked may employ it with some appearance of propriety; but the professing christian appropriates it at his peril. For the very existence of ir;.is. a proof positive of the weakness of the cause avowed, or the inability of its supporter to defend it by a more worthy and true course of resorting. As the proud oppressor, weakened in his sovereignty by his own unjust ac tion, takes flight to the protection of his towers, and with unequalled numbers, beats back, with ten fold cruelty, his more worthy opponents—so the supporter of a weak and unjust cause, finding his strength declining—and too proud to submit—re treats to the battlements of ridicule, and renews. the, contest, though less honorably, yet more sue.: cessfully. Ridicule may be considered as threefold in 'ope ration. Itsfirst, and most cruel tendency is Loop. press, or distress the simple minded, or modest; a number of whom compose a portion of altnost ev. cry assembly. Its second, and moat wicked, is to feud the unholy appetites of the eoiddisposed, who unfortunately, are too frequently, the greatest ad. misers and supporters of angry discussion: aid its third, is to excite the disgust or contempt of the no ble minded. Rather titan carrying conviction to the heart of an opponent,it but strengthens the op position which we should labor to win, and sets him more distant from us. It is the re-thrusted poign. ard, stirring up the already painful wound to ten fold excitement and agony. Christ never ridiculed those who di f fered from him. Thought overstepping the boundary of opin ion they resorted to violence, and hung him man gled and bleeding upon the ignominious cross. lie turned not, in anger noon his oppressors, nor call ed in indignation, the flaming legions at his com mand, to crush their wicked designs; but while bearing the unspeakadle tortures of the flesh-pierc ing nails and spy ir, lie plead their cause before Heaven, otTering to his father the plea of ignorance in their behalf. Here was en example worthy of the christian professor; an example which his very name declares should be appreciated. Is man greater than his Saviour that he should set up his judgment against the opinion of his fellow ? Is mortal superior to the Eternal that lie should pun ish with cutting ridicule all who differ from him in thought, speech, or action ! Oh thiat the lic.irt of man was more open to the promptings of charity, which, like the new fallen snow, shuts out front our prejudiced view, the faults of others, only to nourish in the heart the vegeta tion of righteousness, so necessary to its immortal sustenance. Charity is as necessary to the Christian eharac. ter, us food is to the natural body. The want of it has been the rnin.of many, safe, but in their own conceit: while legions, wu fear, deceived in like manner, are wending their way down the same broad road to ruin. Observe the course of profes sors in their personal disputes—how harsh in every utterance—how distorted their countenances—how cruel and condemnatory their parting expressions. Separating in anger, each goes on his way coin; pinining °film other, and too often, with a determi nation-to seek seine means of petty revenge. Mark the excitement and anger displayed in our business meetings. The smallest matter will ellen create disorder—words arc spoken in ginger—liarsh allusions are made, and the more talented brethren display themselves at the cost of the most worthy 'end weak. 'Valle up any one of our sectarian pe riodicals, and lot what renown is displayed by dis puting correspondents, while each endeavors' to crush the other, the people quietly smile with ad. miretion or contempt of the favorite champion, of their choice. The truth seems lost in the hem bastic array of mere words; and the termination of all is that infidelity is strengthened at the ex pense of christianity. But. this is not the only ex tent to which the spirit. of ridicule and inconsist ency has reached. We have seen ministers of the Gospel indulge in it to the utmost of their ability, and even at the risk of the holy Interests. We have seen the very activity and devotion of the church, atter long years of confidence and respect, held lip before the world, as a laughing stork ; whose only alleged crime is difference of opinion with their pastor. This should not be. It is an cr. ror into which too many have fallen,and which calls loudly fur reform. It arises we think from the want of (het charity so highly commended by Christ to-the Apostles, and to the illustration of which whole chapters of the Sacred Scriplurca are devoted, Charity cannot exist in an tames. pliere of 7 idicule "and ridicule vanishes at once at the approach of charity, as escapes the morning dew front the presence of the sun. The only true object of controversy, is the ad rancement of truth. And to accomplish this how many obstacles have to be overcome. Error deep rooted mud be dislodged,and old and established prejudices aro to be surmounted. Though these may be numerous, it is vain for us to hope fur vic tory till they be substantially r.VCITOUIC, And what arc the most effectual weapons, as well as the most consistent? Ridicule will nut do, frir every stroke of this infernal instrument tends to catifirm error and strengthen prejudice. Andforee,though in the 'lends of tyrants, may effectually gain the body, can never win the heart. Th om; .sus one rightful and consistent resort !,_, rl ~n th e Christian, that is to time aisl e' LAIARZTVaO Loire. Love. rn e . ArRIC.V4 Acnicecrone.—The following is es tracted from a DOmber of the African Luminary, 'ecoicl by the last arrival at Boston : our farms. itrukfzni.., , m....4r9tivitanelsomplo with year, besides affording provender for 50 or 60 mouths, (the number I have in my employment, and connected with my family,) I hove sold there from in eatables alone, about 6600, the greater portion to men-of-war, and the same land on which I rsiecd these vegetables, (say 25 acres,) have coffee regularly set out 12 or 14 feet apart, some of which arc bearing. though plantCd some time after you left this circuit. I appreciate my farming operations more than all my com mercial business, and hope to move out (though not break up entirely in town) as soon as we can get a few more immigrants. "My plan is, when vessels ore in harbor, and I have business with them, I stay in town and at. tend to it—when they leave, instead of walking about the street, I go to soy Cam and go ahead and tell my boys to follow on; and thus we get along cheerfully, and my farm is well attended tn. It is time for all our thinking citizens in every settlement to begin to show examples of industry and economy ; this, with piety, is the foundation of our infant republic." IIP•e-IM....--. Gr.n. Wastnnormes ',MARV, that is the por tion of it Fold to Mr. Stevenit, of Vermont, has been purchased by a number of citizen of Boston, for presentation to the Athenaeum. It contains, in all, about 750 bound columes, and from 800 to 1000 pamphlets, unbound, nearly all of whieb belonged to tho Library of Washington. About 350 contain his autograph, and a few notes in his hand writing. .