Newspaper Page Text
BY FRED'K L. BAKER.
STEVENS H OUSE,
21, 23, 25 & 27 BROADWAY, N. Y.
Opposite Bowling Green.
On the European Plan
This House is well and widely known to
the traveling public. The location is especi
mly suitable to merchants and business men ;
it is in close proximity to the business part of
the City; it is on the highway of Southern and
Western travel, and adjacent to all the princi
pal railroad and Steamboat depots.
THE STEVENS HOUSE has liberal accommo
dations for over Cerests ; it is well furnish
ed and possesses evry modern improvement
far the comfort and entertainment of its in
mates. The rooms are spacious.and well yen
clated—provided smith gas and water—the at
tendance is prompt and respectful; the table
is generously provided with every delicacy of
the season—atmoderate rates.
GEO. K. CHASE & CO.,
New York, May 11, )867.-6m.
STOVES! STOVES!! STOVES!!!
AT JOHN ;S.P.A..NGLER,S.
PARLOR STOVES, PARLOR STOVES
GAS-BURNING. STOVES. AT
NTOVES, STOVES,—VULCAN STOVES
TWO OR FOUR
.7., . ROOMS WITH
EE THEM W ILEADY AT CALL AND
J, Spangler's Hardware and Stove Store
Market Street, Marietta, Pa.
di A. LINDSAY, .4111
VILIVTANUFACTURER & DEALER IN
MARKET STREET, MARIETTA, PENN
Would most respectfully inform the citizens
of this Borough and neighborhood that lie has
at thistime the largest assortment of City made
work ever offered in this Borough, amongst
which may be named the new-style
?OW) Bog, lobe—iiiAliitorgis.
FOR THE LADIES
A. L. being a practical BOOT AND SHOE
MAKER enables him to select with more
judgment than those who are not. • fie contin
ues to manufacture in the very best manner
everything in the BOOT AND SHOE line,
which he will warrant for neatness and fit.
p•Call and examine the new stock before
H. L. ¢r E. J. GAHM;
„fir II pLel , s,
Corner of North Queen• Si.,
and Centre Square, Lancaster, Pa.
W ' L v is r s e Watchesprepared at the
We buy directly from the, Imprters and Man
ufacturers, anti can, and do sell. Watches as
low us they can be bought in Philadelphia or
A tine stock of clocks, Jewelry, Spectacles,
Silver and Silver-pluted ware constantly on
hand. Every article fairly represented.
H. L. 81. E. J. ZAHMS
Corner North Queen Street and Centre Square
ILLCOX Yv iIo &L E G L I E Ii ss a
r 7 LLvFLLL gfeuxbig ~/Lachine.
The most simple, complete and easily man
aged Sewing Machine now in use. It does
every description of work —never stops at or
needs to be helped over seams, but does all
its work rapidly and well. The needle re
quires no adjustment—you cannot get it in
wrong—it makes any width of hem you wish
—does braiding beautifully. The Braider is
in the foot of every machine and p.rt of it.
and is always adjusted, never gets out of place,
Call sad examine them belore purchasing
any other, at
H. L. Va E. J. ZAHNPS,
Corner North Queen street and Centre Square,
Sale Agents for lAneaster County.
Lancaster, February 17, 1866.-tf.
DR. J: Z. HOFFER,
OF THE -BALTIMORE COLLEGE
14.111 - OF DENTAL SURGERY,
LATE OF' I:IA.RRISBURG. -
OFFICE:—Front street,.next door to R
Williams' Drug Store,- 'between ;Locust
sail Walnut streets, Columbia.
fill AP lid AN'S CHALLENGE to the Vora-
V ries of Popular Scientific Skepticism, in
Vindication of the Truth and Superhuman Or
igin of the Hebrew Records of the Creation,
,p,st as those Records read. In magazine form,
quarterly, or oftener. 25 cents singly, or five
successive numbers for $l,OO. Address., L. L
CHAPMAN, Box 483, P. 0., Philadelphia Pa.
A Work which all should read.
ILiglit Rome Coal 61 BOW.
gives more light with lase 01l than any other
Burner. 03" Call and see it at
k yTs T G E u N a T ja o pe N li S ey P,o 4 .l run Sik ‘ l v E a D d T g
Dupont's ' Sporting and Glazed Duck Powder
Baltimore Shot; Shot Pouches, Powder Flasks
old at JOHN SPANGLER'S.
U.44.MARK THE SEASON
Another arrival of those incomparable Gas
BureLng Parlor Stoves. Also,
THE IMPROVED VULCAN HEATER.
Call and see them at J. SPANGLER'S.
SOMETHING NEW! Patent clasp pock
et books, no gum bands to renew, adapte 1
to any condition of the finance, at
KEEP OUT THE ELIE'S Cheap and or
namental dish covers of wire, at
TOli PRINTING of every description ex
ecuted with neatness and dispatch at the
0,, ce of The Mariettian.
SPIC PAIOXE S,sugar boxes, fruit jars, win
dOw bt Inds, looking glasses, at
T4t 1111 arif - j - ian
The Mariettian is published weekly,
at $1:50 a-year, payable in advance.
Office in "Lindsay's Building," near
the Post office corner, Marietta, Lan
caster county, Pa.
Advertisements will be inserted at the
following rates : One square, ten lines
on 75 cents for the first insertion,
or three times for $1:50. Profession
al or Business Cards, of six lines or less,
$5 a-year. Notices in the reading col
umns, ten cents a-line ; general adver
tisements seven cents a-line for the first
insertion, and for every additional in
sertion, four cents. A liberal deduc
tion made to yearly advertisers.
Having put up a new 4bber press
dnd added a large addition of job type,
cuts, border, etc., will enable the estab-
lislment to execute every description of
Plain and Fancy Printing, from the
smallest card to the largest poster, at
short notice and reasonable rates.
t BRITTON & MUSSER'S i t
FAMILY DRUG STORE.
Market Street, Marietta, Pa.
BRITTON & MUSSER, successors to Dr. F.
Hinkle, will continue the business at the old
stand, where they are daily receiving additions
to their stock, which are received from the
most reliable importers and manufacturers.
They would respectfully asks liberal share
of public patronage.
They are now prepared to supply the de
mands of the public with everything in their
line of trade. Their stock of
DRUGS AND MEDICINES
IS FRESH AND PURE, HAVING JUST ARRIVED
?lAN qoa Kiquirs
FOR MEDICINAL USES ONLY,
ALL THE POPULAR PATENT MEDICINES;
Dye Staffs of all kinds, Fancy and Toilet Ar
tides of every kind, Alcoholic and Fluid
4.tracts, Alcaloid and Resinoids, all
the best Trusses, Abdominal Sup
porters,Shoulder Braces, Breast
Pumps, Nipple Shells and
Shields, Nursing Bottles,
A large Eupply of
HAT, HAIR, TOOTH, NAIL AND CLOTHES BRUSHES
Tooth Powder and Pastes, Oils, Perfumery,
Soups, Combs, Hair Dyes, Invigorators, &c.;
Coal Oil, Lamps, Shades. Chimneys, Wick, &e,
Physicians supplied at reasonable rates.
Medicines and Prescriptions caiefully and ac
curately compounded all hours of the day and
night, by Charles H. Britton, Pharmaceutist,
who will pay especial attention to this branch
of the business. Having hail over ten years
practical experience in the drug business ena
bles him to guarantee entire satisfaction to all
who may patronize the new firm.
30- HASSON'S Compound Syrup of Tar, on
hand and for sale.
A large supply of School Books, Stationary,
&c.. always on hand.
From 8 to 10, a. m.,-12 to 2, and 5 to 6 p. m.
Charles 11. Britton. A. Musser.
Marietta, October 20, 1866. ljtf.
PATTERSON & CO.,
NO. 64 MARKET STREET,
D EALERS IN
Keep constantly on hand a full stock of Bu
ding Material, Nails,
GLASS, PAINTS, OILS, WHITE LEAD,
SUPERIOR ARTICLE OF CEMENT, &C.,
OIRON: Rolled and Hammered
Iron, Steel, Horse-Shoes Bar,
Norway Nail Rods, Hoop and Band Iron,
Horse-Shoe Nails, Bolts, Files, Rasps,etc.
FIRST-CLASS COOKING -
AND PARLOR STOVES, RANGES,
Tubs, Churns, Cedar Stands,
Wash Boards, Buckets,
Knives and Forks,
Plated and Metalic Spoons,
Sad Irons, Kraut Cutters, Waiters, Brass ar
Copper Kettles Clothes Wringers, Pans,
• Iron Ladles, Meat Stands, Coal Oil
Lamps, Shades and Lanterns, Tea
. Scales, Coffee Mills, Painted
Chamber Betts, &c., &c.
Forks, Shovels, Hoes, Spades, Horse Brushes
Wheel Grease, Fish, Sperm and Lubric Oils
Cistern Pumps, Long and Short Traces ;
Breast Chains, &c. &c.
T 0 0 L S: Wood Saws,'Hatehets
Chopping and Hand Axes,
Augers and Auger ' Bits, Braces, Prunning
Hooks and Shears, &c., &c.
Thankful for past patronage, we hope to men'
and receive a continuance of the same.
GEO. H. ETTLA, Accountant
THE undersigned, a practical Accountant,
respectfully offers his services, in the.
Opening, Posting and Closing of . Books, ex
amining and adjusting accounts ; also to care
fully transact such other business pertaining
to his profession that may be entrusted to his
He is also agent for the Great Eastern De
tective Horse and Live Stock insurance-Com
pany, cash capital $100;000. Insures Horses,
Mules, Cattle and Sheep, against loss by
Theft and Death, Fire, Accident or natural
Marietta, April 6,-ly.
II S. TROUT, D.,
Offers his professional services to the citizens
of Marietta and vicinity. -
OFFICE:the Rooms formerly occupied
by Dr. F.,Hinkle, Market -st.; Marietta-
MARKET STREET, ADJOINING
Spangler de Rich's Store, second floor,
11RASS porcelain lined preserving kettles
i*ltgenbtut Vonseiyania *mai for tke Nome girth.
MARIETTA, PA., SATURDAY, JULY 27, 1867.
For The Mariettian
Mr. Editor :—Who can read the fol
lowing alarming statistics, without shud
dering—without feeling a stronger de
termination than err to help in putting
down the sin of drunkenness?
Rumseller I Rumseller I I call upon
you in the name of the countless thous
ands now dragging out a miserable
existence from the effects of strong
drink, to stop and think before you sell.
or drink another glass of this abominable
stuff. Parents, I beseech you not to
put the intoxicating cup to your chil
dren's mouths. Read the following
thrilling narrative of the downfall of an
estimable young man, caused by a glass
Among the closest and most intimate
friends of my early youth there was a
young man, whom I will call, for present
purposes, Thomas Lovejoy. Both of
his parents died while he was very young,
and left him under the guardianship of
his uncle, a man of means and very easy
habits of life.
Thomas gained a very good common
school education, and, as he bad con
siderable natural talent, and not a little
ndependence of spirit, he became, very
early in life, to do for himself. So staid
were his habits and so' correct his gener-
al deportment, so careful was he of the
interests of his employers, that he rose
very rapidly, and before he was well oat
of his teens, he Was put in charge of the
books of the house in which he had la.
bored so faithfully. At this time our
aquaintanceehip was formed.
Although not identified with any
church organization, he was strictly
moral in hie habits. Ido not know o
a single vice of which he was gailty. So
correct were hie pripciples and so pre
cise hie conduct; that he formed very
ew friendships. Young people shunned
him, because he was not "fast" enough ;
he was too old fogyish to suit them.
I remember that he was a radicalist,
so called, upon the. Temperance question
—a thorough teetotaler. One could
not more easily or deeply offend him
than, to invite him to take a glass of
A New Year day came, upon which,
with two or three friends, Thomas went
calling ; more, really, to please his com
panions than for his own enjoyment or
The first one upon whom he called
was his aunt ; a very amiable lady, and
a member of Dr. A.'s church. Here
he was not a little surprised to find
liquors upon the table; and, after a very
short stay, he was about to withdraw,
when bis aunt urged him to take a "little
something" before he went.
At first he stoutly refused ; but upon
being pressed to take just a small glass
of wine with her, as it was her birthday,
and not wishing to be uncomplimentary,
he yielded, and drank his first, and, as he
then resolved, his last glass of wine.
Alas it was not so to be I He was
carried home that night drunk.
From that day he was another man.
His morals were loose, his company
less select, and not 'infrequently was he
to be seen staggering home in an intos-
icated condition. Delirium, tremens
finally Bet in, and he was placed in the
Oity Hospital for medical treatment.
This hard experience was not calcula
ted to reform him. So confirmed was
the habit, that a second, and a third,
and finally, a fourth attack of the deliri
um came upon him. Previous to his
last attack be became quite straitened
in his circumstaucee, and, having no
means in hand with which to gratify his
strong passion for drink, he became a
thief. He robbed his employer's safe of
801110 $5OO, and then, in one of the dens
of the Five Points, he lay for nearly two
weeks, all the While drinking by the
bottleful the poison that was so surely
working his ruin.
The Sabbath after his conveyance to
the Hospital I received word that he
I hastened with a sad heart to see
him, scarcely able to realize the fact of
hie death. I never shall forget my feel
ings as I looked upon hie face. Can it
be, I said, that this horribly bloated
figure is the remains of my friend ? Is
this the end of one for whom I had in
dulged such fond hopes? Alas 1 it was
too true I He had found a drunkard's
Reader, candidly what think you ?
Upon whom rested the responsibility of
the ruin of my friend ? At whose door
ties ,the guilt of plunging his - soul down
deep into hell ?
Alas that the example of a Christian
woman should have led such an one
down to an untimely and disgraceful
My friend, are you a moderate drink
er ? Let me be a little plainer—a tip
pler ? If you are, beware 1 The eyes
of many are upon you. Your example
is quoted extensively as an excuse or
_license for others, and it were better
for you that -you had never been born
than that your example should lead an
immortal soul to present an immortal
ruin I GL AL C.
ater—a clear fluid, once used as
Honesty—an excellent joke.
Rural Felicity—potatoes and turnips.
Tongue—a little horse that is contin
ually running away.
Dentist—one who finds work for his
own teeth by taking out those of other
My Dearan expresaion need by man
and wife at the commencement of a
Policeman—a man employed to deep
in the open air.
Bargain—a Indicions transaction, in
which either party thinks he cheated the
Doctor—a man who kills yon to-day
to save you from dying to-morrow.
Author—a dealer in words, who often
gets paid in his own coin.
Friend—a person who will not assist
you because he knows your love will ex
cuse him .
Editor—a poor wretch who empties
his brain in order to fill his stomach.
Wealth—the most respectable qnality
Bonnet—the female head-drees for the
front seats of the opera.
Enquire—everybody, yet nobody - ;
equal to captain.
Jury—twelve prisoners in a box to try
one more at the bar.,
State's Evidence—a wretch who is
pardoned for being baser than hie com
Public Abuse—the mud with which
every traveller ie spattered on the road
Modesty—a beautiful flower that flour
ishes in secret places.
Lawyer—a learned gentleman who
rescues your estate from your enemy and
keeps it himself.
The Grave—an-.ugly hole in the
ground which lovers and poets wish
they were in, bat - take uncommon mark
to keep out of.
Money—the god of the nineteenth
A PruovicALJOKE.—Daring the late
war, while the• army of. Tennessee, under
General Johnston, lay encamped near
Dalton, the following rich scene occur
red : There was a very popular dealer
in newspapers there, a perfect Bobdig•
nab in size, reveling Daniel Lambert in
rotundity of stomach. A regiment was
there about to leave for Mobile, and our
massive friend had business to transact
with the Colonel. So, puffing and blow
ing, be came np a few minutes before
the train started. As he came up a
soldier spied .him, and hallowed out:
"Boys, here he is." Instantly the whole
regiment was on the alert, and shout
after' shout went tip—''Here he is, here
he is I" Looking, dumbfounded, the fat
man said: '" What's up gentlemen ?
What have I done?" "You're the very
man that stole our big drum and,swal
lowed it"—went up simultaneously.—
Struck with surprise he did not know
whether to laugh_or get mad, but finally
said : "Well, boys, if you'll stay till
evening I'll eat you."
A YEAR'S WORK OF RIIMSELLING.
Carefully compiled statistics show that
60,000 lives are annually deatroyed by
intemperance in the United States.
100 - 000 men and women are yearly
sent to`prison in consequence of strong
20,000 children &miserly sent to the
poor house for the same reason.
300 murders are another of the yearly
fruits of intemperance
400 saicidee follow these fearful cata
logues _of miseries.
200,000 orphans are bequeathed , each
year to private and public charity.
$200,000,000 are yearly expended to
produce this shocking amount of crime
and misery, and as much more Idat froln
thd same cause;
The oldest piece of furniture is the
multiplication table. It was construct
ed mors...,thten,two thousand years ago,
and is pet as good as new.
The Exact Witness.
A man was sued by a livery-stable
keeper for the price of a horse which
died shortly after its return. The de
fence contended that the animal died of
disease and not from being overheated.
and that a sufficient time had been
allowed to travel that distance with
ease. Then it became necessary to
show the jury the time of starting and
the time of arrival.
Many citizens were brought forward
and among them a tall, bony, slabsided:
lanky sleepy-looking fellow who officiated,
as ;hostler it the stable. Here is the
substance of the examination--
"What time did you say it was when
the horses were driven to the stable?"
"Just as I was going to dinner."
"What, time was it when you went to
dinner the day before—by the clock?"
"To a minute, sir ?"
"And what time did yon go to dinner
yeeterday--by the clock ?"
"To a minute?"
"Yee sir." •
"What time did you go to dinner the
day before that—by the clock V'
"To a paiante, sir?"
"And what time did you go to dinner
a week previous—by the clock 2"
To a minute, eir 7"
"Now, sir, will you be good enough to
tell the jnry what time you went to
dinner three months before the hot
date—by the clock ?"
"To a minute, sir 2"
"That is all, sir," replied the counsel,
with a gleam of-satisfaction on his face
and a glance at the jury, as much as
to say, "That man has settled his testi
mony." And so we all thought till, just
as he was leaving the stand, he turned
to his questioner and with a curious,
comical expression on his face, and
drawled out: "That 'ere clock was out
o' kilter, and has stopped at,twelve for
the last six months." There was a gen
eral roar in the gallery where I sat.
Mr. Clark sat down, and I noticed that
the Judge had to use his handkerchief
MUSTARD PLASTERS.—Take the finest
flour of mustard, the home-ground is
generally so coarse as to be worth little
or nothing, a sufficient , quantity. Add
sufficient tepid water to form a moder
ately thin paste. Spread it on a thick
piece of muslin, and put over it' a thin
piece previously wetted in tepid water.
Now apply it to the desired surface,
having the thick dry muslin outside. If
the mustard is of good quality, a brisk
redness will be obtained in ten to thirty
minutes, and the object for which it was
prescribed will thus be accomplished.
The adimixture of flour or meal is im
proper. Vinegar is not so good as wa
ter to wet it.
WORTH KNOWING.-A poison of any
conceivable description and degree of
potencf, which has been sWillowed in
tionally or by accident, may be tendered
speedily harmless by swallowing two
gills of sweet oil. An individual with a
strong constitution should lake twice
the quantity. This oil will neutralize
every form of vegetable or mineral poi
son with which physicians and chemists
PREPARATION FOR. THE TEETH;-.DlE
solve two ounces of borax in three pints
of writer; before quite cold, add one
teaspoonful of spirits of camphor; bottle
the mixture for use. One wine-glass of
the solution added to half a pint of te
pid water, is sufficient•for each applica
tion: This solution, applied daily, .pre
serves and beautifies the teeth,extirpates
tartarous adhesioii; produces a pearl-like
whiteness, arrests' decay, and induces a
healthy action in the.gunis.
To SHARPEN RAZORB.—The simplest
way of sharpening razors or other
edge-tools is to place the blade for half
an hoar in water containing one-twenti.
eth of its weight of sulphuric or muriatie
acid. Upon taking the razor out, wipe
it oil' lightly on a piece of soft nig, and
in a -few hours nfterwards "set" it ha a
. strop. The acid' supplies, the place'of
whetstone, by ettirnding the entire sur
face uniforaly, so that nothing but a
good polish is afterwards needed. This
process never injures.good razom while
poor ones are often improy9d by it.
VOL. XIII.-NO. 51.
Stuff for Smiles.
An editor, in drawing attention to an
article against ardent spirits in one of
the inner pages of his paper, says :
"For the effect of intemperance, see
An Irish recruit was asked by his
officer, "What's your height ?" to which
Pat replied, "The man that measured,
told me it was five foot ten, or ten foot.
five ; I am not exactly sore which—but
Domes one or the other."
"There, John, that's twice you've
come home and forgotten the lard."
"La, mother, it was so greasy it
slipped my mind.
In the garden of a certain nobleman's
country house there happened to be
fixed up at different spots, painted
boards with this request : "Please do
not pick the flowers without leave.' ,
Some wag got a paint brush and added
s to the last word.
What is that word in the English
language of one sylable, which,"if two
letters by taken - from it, becomes a word
of two sylables ? Pi-ague.
A gentlemen having presented hie
church with the "Ten Commandments,'.
it was wittily said that he gave them
away because be could not keep them.
"What brought you to prison, my col
ored friend ?" "Two constables, sah."
"Yes, but I mean, had intemperance
anything to do with it 7" "Yes, ash, day
was bole of 'em drunk."
Somebody who writes more truthfully
than poetically, says : "An angel with
out money is not thought so much of
now-a-days as a devil with a bale of
Why is a man ascending Vesuvius
like an Irishman trying to kiss a pretty
girl? Because he wants to get at the
What medicine does a foolish man
take for a scalding wife? He takes an
elizer. (He takes and he licks her.)
AllUshman says he sees no earthly
reason why women should not be allow
ed to'bucome medical men.
One of the editors of a New Orleans
paper, soon after beginning to learn the
printing business, went to court a preach
er's daughter. The next time he at
tended meeting he was taken down at
hearing the minister announce as his
text : "My daughter is greviously tor
mented with a 'devil."
"What do you mean by bringing me
these bones 7 I ordered mutton chops."
"Well, sah, in die establishment a mut-
ton chop is de bone ob de sheep from
which all de meat has been chopped off."
A young gentleman named Harry
Turn, recently married his cousin of the
same name. When interrogated as to
why he did so, he replied that it had
always been a maxim of his that "one
good turn deserves another," and he had
"Why don't you wheel that barrow Of
coals, Ned ?" said a learned miner to
one of his eons. '•lt's not a very hard
job, there,is an inclined plane to relieve
you." "Ab," replied Ned, who had
more relish for wit than work, "the plane
may be inclined, but hang me if Lam."
A dandy, strutting about a tavern,
took a pair of green spectacles which
lay on the table, put them on his nose,
and turning to the look-glass, said :
"Landlord, how do these become me Y
Don't you think they improve my looker
"I think they do," replied the landlord,
"they hide a part of your face."
Patrick, when he applied for a license
to sell ardent spirits, being questioned
as to his moiul fitness for the trust re
"Ah, sure it's not much of a character
that a man needs to sell rum."
Biddy used to live out at service. A
former'employer met her the other day,
and said, "Well, Biddy, where do you
live now ?" "Blaze, ma'am," said Bid,
"I. jist don't live nowheres now, ma'am ;
I'm married, ma'am."
A western editor has placed over his
marriages a cat representing a large
trap, sprung, with this motto—" The
trap down—another ninny hammer
Patrick, in writing his autobiography,
says : "I ran away from my father at an
early period of my life because I discov
ered that he was only my uncle.
Do you know what relation the door
mat is to the foot-scraper ? Don't tell
anybody. A step farther.
"Cocoanuts, are used as waterfalls by