Newspaper Page Text
BY FRED'K L. BAKER.
BRITTON & MUSSER'S i d
FAMILY DRUG STORE.
,illarhet Street, Marietta, Pa.
BRITTON & Mrssse, successors-to Dr. F.
Pinkie, will continue the business at the old
eland, where they are daily receiving additions
to their stock, which are received from the
most reliable importers and manufacturers.
They would respectfully ask a liberal share
of public patronage.
They are now prepared to supply the de
mands Of the public with everything in their
line of trade. Their stock of
DRUGS AND MEDICINES
15 FRESH AND PURE, HAVING JUST ARRIVED
i'uhe alines aria I.l4twil
FOR MEDICINAL USES ONLY,
ALL THE POPULAR PATENT MEDICINES,
Dye Stairs of all kinds, Fancy and Toilet Ar
ticles of every kind, Alcoholic and Fluid
Extracts, Alcaloid and Resinuids, all
the best Trusses, Abdominal Sup
portors,Shouldcr Braces, Breast
Pumps, Nipple Shells and
Shields, Nursing Bottles,
A large Pu p ply of
HAT, HAIR, TOOTH, NAIL AND CLOTHES BRUSHES,
Tooth Powder and Pastes, Oils, Perfumery,
Soaps, Combs, Hair Dyes, Invigorators, &c.;
Coal Oil, Lamps, Shades, Chimneys, Wick &c,
Physicians supplied at reasons ble rates .
Medicines and Prescriptions carefully and ac
curately compounded all hours of the day and
/tight, by Charles H. Britton, Pharmaceutist,
who will pay especial attention to this branch
of the business. Having had over ten years
practical experience in the drug business ena
bles him to guarantee entire satisfaction to all
who way patronize the new firm.
la* ilAssos's Compound Syrup of Tar, on
hued arid for sale.
A largor.:upply of School Books, Stationary,
&c.. always on hand. -
SUNDAY HOU RS:
From S to 10, a. m,,-12 to 2, and 5 to 6 p. in.
Chat li. Britton. A. 'Passer
Davit Oa, October 20, 18a.
PATTERSON 8c CO.,
pro. 661 MARKET STR EET,
MA. RI E T TA
FOREIGN & DOMESTIC
Kelp oor.qtantiy on hand a full stock at Bu
L O..CK S, HINGES, t•
GLASS, PAINTS, OILS, WHITE LEAD,
t;u:.mitoß ARTICLE OF (SEMEN; &C.,
IRO N: Rolled and Hammered
Steel, Elyse-S hoes 1-3ar,
Roth', Hoop and Band Inn,
1.1e7,, , *.i,ne Nana, Bolts, Files, Ran's, etc.
ii OUSE-RP:EFL\ G GOODS.
F ST-CLASSCOON. 'NG
P ARLOR STOVES, RANGES,
Tubs, Churns, Cede] Stands,
Wasn lioa,cds, Buckets,
Knives and Forks,
Plated and Metalie Spoons,
, 11 , 1 Irons, Kraut Cotters, Waiters, Brass at
Copper Kettles Clothes Wringers, Pans,
Iron Ladles, Meat Stands, Coal Oil
Lamps, Shades end Lanterns, Tea
Scales, Coffee Mills, Painted
Chamber Setts, &c., &c.
EUIVP, Shovels, Hoes, Spades., Horse Brushes
Waeel Grease, Fish, Sperm and Lubric Oils
Cistern Pumps, Long and Shon. Traces
lireast Chains, &c., &c.
TOO L S: Hand and Wood Saws, Hatchets
Chopping and Hand Axes,
Angus and Auger Bits, Braces, Prunning
Books and Shears, &c., &c.
Thankfut for past patronage, we hope to men'
and receive a continuance of the same.
PATTERSON At CO.
GEO. H. ETTLA, Accountant
f lilE undersigned, a practical Accountant,
I respectfully offers his services, in the
OpAinig, Posting and Closing of Books, ex
p.:outing and adjusting accounts also to care
fully transact such other business pertathing
to his profession that in iy be entrusted to his
tie ie MHo agent for .he Great Eastern De
tective Horse and LiA a Stock Insurance Corn-
Pithy, cash capital $100;000. Insures Horses,
nole9, Cattle and Sheep, against loss by
Theft and Death, Fire, Accident or natural
Alm:lefts, April 6,-Iy.
First National Bank of Marietta
THIS HANK] NAY ASSOCIATION
HAVING COMPLETIgb 1.1 . 19 ORWANIiATION
in now prepared to transact all kinds of
13 ANKIN (3 - I3USINESS.
The Board of Directors meet weekly, on
IV; dnenduy, for discount and other business
Bank MOUTB : From 9.A. id to 3P. H.
JOHN HOLLINGER, PAESIDAIVP.
AMOS BOWMAN, Cashier.
F. 1 - 1112.17..1e, M. 3D.,
Physician and Surgeon.
A V I NG removed to Columbia, would em
brace this opportunity of infnrming his
tourer patients and iamilies in Marietta and
vicinity, that he can still be consulted daily,
between 2 and 3 o'clock in the afternoon, at
the residence of Mr. Thomas Stence:. Any
word left ttnre will be promptly attended to.
Marietta, April I, 1867.-tf.
S TROUT, M. D.,
Offerd Ms professional services to the citizens
of IVJarietts, and vicinity.
Orrrce ;—ln the Rooms formerly occupied
by Dr.- F. ilinalz, Mark et-st., Merlotti..
MARKET STREET, ADJOINING
Spangler & Rich's Store, second floor,
D ANIEL G. BAKER ,
ATTORNEy AT, LAW,
OFi ICE :—No. 24 NORTH DUKE STREET
oppusi!e the Court flouae, where he will at
tend to the practice of his profesnon in all ita
vario on branches.
DR. H. LANDIS is the sole event for'the
Sale of MISH LER'S BiTTEHS, in the
liorough of Marietta. For sale at the
(tit 1,)il ar'titt +km+
REMIN GT ONS'
A LIBERAL DISCOUNT TO DEALERS
4.rmy Revolver, 44-100 hell Calibre,
Navy Revolver, 38 100 ' 7
Belt Revolver, Navy-size Calibre,
Police Revolver, . )) )7 3,
New Pocket Revolver, 51-100 in. Calibre,
Pocket' Revolver, [Rider's paten:( -1-100 in.
Repeating Pistol, rtrEnt patent I N 9. 22 and
32 Cartridge, [ridge.
Vest Pocket Pistol, No. 21, 30, F. I Cart-
Gun Cane, ' No. 22 •tdsß •i • rtr:.,•:(o,
Breech Loading Rifle, (Beale's) No. 3 - LEL ZS
Revolving Rifle,_ and 44-100
E. REMINGTON S 2. 0
PRINCI.PA t. ACE:Frs. 4
Moore & Nichols, ::E. -'Ver"
Wm. Read & Son, Boston,
Jos. C. Grubb & Co., Philadelphia,
Poultney & Trimble, Baltimore,
Henry Folsom & Co., New Orleans,
Johrson, Spencor, & Co., Cnicago,
L. M. Rumse, s. Co., St. Louis,
Albert P.- Crane, .an Francisco
March 2, 1867. 30-6 m.
TOV ES !
-3 STOVES! STOVES!! STOVES!!!
AT JOHN SPANCL2R'S.64,--
PARLOR STOVES, PAIJAR STOVES
PARLOR 8:1'0 VES,
GAS-BURNING. STOVES AT
JOHN " SI"ANG
NTOVES, ST 1 , 101 7 .1,4
FOR 11 EATL: G
TWO Or FOril?
• noomu WITH
SUPPLY NO W READY- CALL 4 IVD
I. Spangler's Hardxt - :,e m;d ::•.noe Store
Market kz;.,-Li.t, ar a, 7%,
pal A. 1-lIMSAY_, .441411
& DEALTIB IN
NIA.R.KET S' , L., P
Would motet :
of this Borough 1.00 t•
at thiswoe the lcr b : - • n. , :nt of
work ever offered in th;. , do rough,
which may be named the .u0:.,--ttyle
?NIA Qu a ciphe,-W3
A. L. being .ar,;.2.'2 AND i CL
MAKER enabler il/rll to ict with more
iudgment than thosoy , •ho Ile contin
ues to manufacture ix v b.7.st tatmuer
everything in the 800 line,
which he aria Warmnr o .t.
9 Call and eme,- - aint:., before
H. L. co E. ,T.
Corner of Norti, efeen-St.,t
and`Centre Svare, kat c, ger,
WR. are pre.Dared W sell American 'LIM
SWisti Watches at the Lote,tl cas! rates!
We buy directly froru the impart rod Man
ufacturers, and can, and V't.t-hrs 8.3
low as they can km, ! ) a. :.4ie: pidts
A fine stock o_F ::.6 6 t . Soc... -
Silver and Silver-pi-A. 0..
hand. Every article fairly repr7._ , -....ed.
E. J. 11,111114 S
Corner North Que.? . ':treet and e.entre Squa .
Agx . w .
The most simple, complete easily man.
ged Sewing Machine now in use. It does
every description of wort—never stops at or
needs to be helped over seams, but doer all
its work rapidly and wail. The needle re
quires no adjustment—you es....Ltno get it, in
wrong—it makes ray width of hem you wish
—does braiding beautifully. Tha Braider is
in the foot of every mc.ci:,,ne p"rt of it.
and is always adjusted, _ 'ver Rrt out of plow.,
Call and examine them rotors _ itreLasiw, -
, any other, at
H. .1 S. E.
Corner North (Open street and Centro ~ : quam,
SOle Agents for Lancaster Connty t
Lancaster, Februaiy 1.866.-tf.
DR. J. Z.llOll
1 0 7 - Or THE BALI - 110HE CI.ILt
Nis i "' OF DENTAL SUFI EAT,,
LATE OF ELARRISII
OFFIC Et—Front street; lert door to 2.
Williams' Drug 'State,. tett:wit Locust
end Walnut streets. Columbia.
AI LENGE tO vohi -
C li A es P Ol A PTp s u ,E, T , Scientifie Skepticism, ia
Vindication of the Truth and Solierhumar. Or
igin of the Hebrew Records of the Creation,
just as those Records read. In magazine form,
.quarterly, or oftener. 23 cents singly, or five
successive numbers for 451.00. kildresk,
Cri:I.PMA'S,, Box 483, P. 0., Phiindelaia Pa.
A. work which all should read...,
TTENTION ! SPORTSMEN ! !
ey's Gm) Capa, Eley'q Gun Wadds,
upont's Sporting and Glazed Duck Powder
Baltimore Shot; Shot Pouches, Powder Flasks
old, at JOHN SPANGLER?S.
OMET RING NEW Patent clasp.pock
CI et, books, no gum bands to renew, adapte
to any condition of the finance, at
EEP OUT THE FLIES ! LtieaP and or
namental dish covers of wire, at
TOP PRINTING of every desbription - es
0 ecuted with neatness and dispatch at the
0 akce of The Mariettian. . .
PIC EBOXE S,sugar boxes, fruit jars, win
dow blinds, lookingglasses, at
369eirtkui ennsebania lournat for t e ffionte
MARIETTA, PA., SATURDAY, JULY 13, 1867.
T. ire Mariettian is publiohedweekli
at $1:50 a-year, poyable in admit&
Office in "ifindsay's Building," near
the Post office corner, Marietta, n
caste Loyty Pa.
Af;timils . gimp's will be inserted at the
follow zg rates : One spare, ten lines
or less, 75 cents for the first insertion,
or three tim. S . for $1:50. Profession
al•or Busi.ves ertiy 7 3., of six lines or less,
s ts Not'ix:ps in the reading col
&cm,: en cents. a line ; general adver
tisemew's seven cents a-line for the first
insertion ; and. for every additional in
serti.on, ,our c-,nts. A liberal deduc
tioit ee to yearly advertisers.,
v.:. 2g put up a new Jobber press
added a large addition of job type,
clf,t, border, etc:., will enable the estab
lisnmen; to exe-ute every description of
Praia. and Fancy Printing, from the
sinpll('-t card to the largest poster, at
s/tort notice and reasonable rates.
There's a jolly.Sazon proverb
1 hat is pretty mach like this,
That a man is half in heaven
When he has s woman's kiss;
But there's tianger in delaying—
And the sweetness may forsake it;
So I sell yon,•bashful lover.
you want a kiss, why take it.
Never let another fellow
Steal a march on you in this ;
Never let a laughing maiden
. 7, on spoiling for, a kiss ;
There's a royal way to kissing, _
And the jolly ones who make it
Ha ,e a motto that is winning—
If you want a kiss, why take it.
Any fool may fee° a cannon ;
Anybody wear a crown,
But a man must win a woman,
if he'd have her for his Own ;
Would you have the golden Apple,
You must find the tree and shake it,
if thu thing is worth the having,
And you want a kiss, why take it.
Who would burn' upon a desert,
With a forrest smiling by.?
Wlio would give his sunny summer
, For a bleak and wintry sky ?
Oh 1 I tell you there is magic,
A adyou cannot, cannot break it;
For the sweetest part of loving
Is to want a kiss, and take it.
B eatient, B prayerful B humble B mild
B wise as a Solon, B meek as a child.
B studious, B:thoughtfill, B
B sure - you make matter subservient to
B cautious, B prudent, B trustful, B true,
B near, eons to all men, B friendly to few.
B temperate in argunient, pleiesura and
B care( r of conduct, motley and time,
-El cheerio!, B grateful, .B hopeful B firm,
B peaceful, B benevolent, willing to
B-c,ourageotis, B gentle, B liberal, B
B aspiring, B- modest, because thou art
.13 nonest, B holy, transparent and pure,
B uependent, 13 Christ-like, and you'll
tir A hi:nd man had been sitting one
da:: and pleasantly chatting with some
vieiters for an hour, when one of them
wished be company good morning and
lea the room. 'What white teeth that
lady has!" skid the sarcastic blind man.
'glow can you possibly tel. that ?" said
a Maui, "Because," was the ready
answer, ."for the !as'.. half hour she has
done - nothing but laugh."
Sr In &railroad station is a playoard
e.nnonnciug Smoking," posted Dyer
an oii temp. Two I:Minim appear,-one
smo;:ir.g. "Mike," eays the other, s'yon
are tmusgressio' the chilies of the es
tablishment." "How is - that ?" says the
smatter. "Don't you see there--no
smoking; ?" "'fit) ; but can't ye see, ye
spalnaen, Cie vernier' is eildreesed to the
One ni_n wagered anouher that
he had seen.a horse galloping at a great
speed and a dog aLting on his tail. It
seeds an improbable feat for a dog to
accomplish, but the man was right, and
won the. money. The dog was sating
on his own. tail.
OF An anti-hymeneal pansteir says
that the recriminations of married peo
ple resemble the sounds of the waves oR
•the seashore--bolog the ciogg!ert ef the
IF YOU WANT A KISS, TAKE IT.
WHAT TO BE.
For The lifariettian
A Irigorona Campaign.
the east end, the west, the -#d-
vet us, that there is a general
awakening, upon the .great Temper
ance issue. States >already away in
advance, of ours, are busied in remodel
ing their restructive laws, by environing
them with greater safe guards. While
the pioneer in this philanthropic'work,
drawing pure inspirations freim ber lofty
.pines that wave in 'the earliest rays of
morning, has pasaed the impending crieis
and through the ballots of her freemen
stands to day an enobling example of
disepthrallment from the bondage of
intemperance. Maine, glorious Maine
lik4 Orion leading her celestial host, is
now beckoning .on her sisterhood of
States to that higher plane, where -the
demon drink can find no legal refuge.
The, poor nerve shattered innebriate who
te haunted by the tormentor, and sconrg.
ad and flayed until,his life is an inglori
one conflict in which the baser passions
stultify every aspiration for good. Oen
we now find an oasis in the desert of
intemperance where the temptor cannot
reach him—an asylum where he can
cleanse his polluted body and once more
rejoice in a better manhood.
' And 'soon State after State will'seek
immunity from this direful scourge,' by
enacting laws rigidly prohibitory. And
while other States are advancing, shall
our Commonwealth linger behind, heed
less of the groans and agony of her none
and daughters, that are falling the vic
tims of strong drink. When our na
tional safety was imlnriled, and brave
men were needed to repel the rebel
torde, our State haetened to send forth
hei sons to battle in freedoms cease,
and shall she now lag behind In this
great' moral and social conflict, while
ten thousand of her citizens are anually
slain upon the drunkard's alter? Nith
the friends of humanity, rests the,de
cision of this question, whether for
weal or woe, the responsibility of ad
vancing the moral attitude of the Com
monwealth is in their keeping, the re
deeming of it is within their grasp, de
cisive action and untiring perseverance
alone, is needed to place this State side
by side witlf_those that battle in the
front ranks for the `right. 'And to this
end every man and woman should direct
their effort, by calling together the pub
lic, and awakening in them a knowledge
of their duty upon this subject. The
season is upon us, in which assemblages
can be had in the groves and thorough
fares' where the public can be reached,
and where admonitions of the dangers of
delay can be imparted to them.
Early arrangements should be made
for an overwhelming Harvest Home, to
be held immediately after the Mother
ing of the crops, when-the husbandmen
resting from the toils of the field, can
participate in this intellectual recreation.
Let each individual who- has inflated in
a life long ,warfare against the evil.
resolve to make this a telling season,
and by autumn we will have created a
public sentiment that will popularize
the temperance cause beyond any for
mer period, 'and make the detestable
drinking usages of society more loath
some than they have ever been hereto
fore. B. 8.
CALIFORNIA STYLE —Not long since a
German was riding along Sansomestreet,
near Sacramento, when he heard a pis
tol shot balking him e tind heard the whiz
zing of a ball near him and felt his hat
shake. He turned and saw a man with
a revolver in his band, and took off his
hat and found a -fresh ballet hole thron e ,h
" Did you shoot at me ?" asked the
"Yes," replied the other party, "that's
my horse ; he was stoles from me recent
"You must be mistaken," said the
German. "I have owned the horse for
"Well:' said the'other, "whew I.come
to look at him I believe ifain =mistaken.
Excuse me sir ; .11 , 104 -you take a drink?"
MOTH Of AFFECTION.-A. French jour
nal tells a little story about a lady, or
rather she is made to tell it herself
"When I was first married I was on
my knees before my husband froth morn
ing till night. It was a perpetual ado
ration, an: incessant delirium,,an inex•
pressible bliss. I showered caresses
upon him ; I could have eaten him:"
"And now ?" asked a friend.
"I'm sorry I didn't."
What - ie the difference between.per
metro:m and qbetinitudy One ie a
etrong 104 sad the 01 4"! 4 1 4 Wong
Nature has supplied- the most of man
'kind 'with boards, and in very ancient
times, the use of the razor upon it was
unkrioln. Is Greece, the' first. instance
of shaving occurred in the reign of Alex
ander the great. This warrior ordered
the Macidonians to be shaved lest the
beardiof his soldiers thauld afford had
dle to their enemies. 'The sarcastic Di
°genies, When he once Saw some one
Whose chin was smooth, said: "I am
afraid you think you have great ground
to accuse nature for having made you
man and not Woman." In Cicero's time
the genuine' beard "was not worn in so=
ciety, But 'the barbuia (goatee) seems
to have been affected by the young Bo
The beard began to revive again in
the time of the Emperor Hadrian. But
of all the Emperors who wore that orna
ment, none creates so much interest in
posterity as the Emperor Julian. His
beard is the Most famous beard in his
tory. Speaking of it, he says: "I,
•coMmericw with my countenance'. It
had nothing regular, or particularly
agreeable about it; and out of humor
and whimsicality, 'and just to punish it
for not being handsome, I have made it
ugly by - carrying this long and peopled
The 'Britons, like ancient Gauls, al.
lowed the hair to grow thick on the
head; and, although they shaved their
beards gloss op the chin, wore immense
tangled moustaches, which sometimes
reached to their breasts.
It maybe presumed that the northern
nations - felt . the symbolic force of these
appendages:;. : we have a 'well known
passage in Tacites about the Catti, who,
he says, made a general custom of what,
among other german people was an
affair of private daring—the letting the
"crinem beirampe" grow till they had
killed an enemy. The Normans, when
they conquered England, were ell shaven
on the back of the bead as on the face ;
the Saxons wore full beards.
In Edward II 's • reign, beards were
worn apparently by , rpersons in years,
officers of State. and Knights Templars,
bat not generally. Sir John Mande
ville, the traveler, who died A. D. 1832,
was called Sir John with the beard
(presumably from its sife). In Edward
lll.'s time—the hey-day, 'of chivalry, of
feudal ornament, of love-poetry, of her
aldy—long beard and fine, mustache were
in honorable estimation, In Richard
IL's reign, the fashion continued.. The
beard was "forked," and in all knightly
effigies the mustache bating and drop
ping on each side of the month:
A sober and well governed gentleman
of Elizabeth's time, regClated his beard
as he did his dress, Mind, manners or
conduct. It was an index of his statue
or profession ; an emblem of his feelings
and tastes—a symbol to• be'respeeted
like his coat of arms. The Reformer,
John Knox, cherished a large and pro
fuse one, obviously from its patriarchal
character, from the honor-ehown it in
the Jewish days, from whose sentiment
he drew his inspiration. The scholar,
such as George Buchanan, wore it—
sometimes as one who followed Knox
The hair, as we all know, played an
important symbolic part in the the civil
ware• of England ; and the same rigor
which the Puritan exorcised on the bead
he exercised on his chin, and trimmed
his beard as closely as he trimmed hie
locks. The Vandyke beard is the typi
cal one of this period. Peaked beards
and mustaches were popular among the
cavaliers ; and were at least pretty gen
Beards went out of fashion for more
than two hundred years, among the An
glo-Saxons of Europe and America . ; but
they have been revived again, and , are
now cultivated and defended upon scien
The mustache is approved because it
is said to be a natural respirator;:a de
:tense to the Rings against the inhalation
'of` dust, and the beatd is defended, ea a
protection far 'the throat against aold.
It has been recOmnietided that all preach
ers who are subject to throat diseases
should allow their beards to grow.--
Travelers in. mad) , " regions, millers, ba
kers and all mechanics should-allow the
beard free play. '
THE EFFECTS OF WWVIIIC TIGHT BOOTS.
--My son, if thou wilt wear tight boots
there are thiee bed things thou wilt
inetttably strer, namely, a bad corn, a
bad. gait, antis- bad teniper. '
Bourbody says, "a wife should be like
"a lamb—tender and - nicely dressed."—
A. scamp adds, "and without any sane."
VOL XIII.-NO. 49.
Stiff for Smiles.
An elderly_ maiden, who has suffered
some disappointments, thus defines the
hamau race :
Man—A conglomerate mesa of hair,
tobacco smoke, conciet and boote.
Woman—The waiter, per force on
the aforesaid animal.
.A venerable lady of a celebrated
physician, one , day casting her eye out
of the window, observed her husband in
the funeral procession of one of his pa
tients, at which she exclaimed, "I do
wish my husband would keep away from
such processions—it appears too much
like a tailor carrying home hie work."
Some close observer says that young
ladies who are accustomed to read news
papers are sure to possess winning ways,
bird-like dispositions, have cultivated
minds, never commit suicide—nor sing
"no one to love," are free from gossip
ing, always select good husbands, and
invariably make the sweetest and best
of wives and never apply for a divorce.
A lady, who had read of the eaten.
sive manufacture of - odometers to tell
how far a carriage had been run, said
she wished some Connecticut genius
would invent an instrument to tell how
far husbands had been in the evening
when they just step down* to the post
ar,A veritable story is told of a
bright little girl who, attending Sunday
school for the first time, was asked,
"Who went into the lion's den 1" The
little one appearing puzzled and not
answering, the teacher commenced spell
ing, to awaken the child's memory—
" D-a-n." "I can tell now," exclaimed
she, all smiles, "it was Dan Rice 1"
"Mark Twain" says that to "see a
lovely girl of seventeen, with her saddle
on her head, and her muzzle on behind,
and her von just covering the end of her
nose, come tripping along in her hoop
less, red-buttoned dress, like a church
on fire is enough to set a man wild.
I have found that the men who are
really most fond of the ladies, who cher
ish for them the highest respect, are
seldom the most popular with the sex.
Men of great assurance, who make words
supply the place of ideas, and place
compliment in the room of sentiment,
are their favorites.—Addison.
"Sonny, does your father take a pa-
" Tee, sir two of 'em. One of 'em
belongs to Mr Smith and the other be
longs to Mr. Thompson. I hook 'em
both off the steps as regularly as can
`.A. Virginia negro, according to an
exchange, on hearing that Congress was
going to give lands to the derides
said : "Land I de dobbin ! Pee free now,
and don't want no land. I'se gwine to
git worms and go a fishing."
One of the fence artists of Bridgeport
lately painted on a board fence,' "Use
Hoofland's Garman Bitters!" The next
morning an addition to it was discovered,
thusly : "and boy your grave stones of
10r7 ones oomplained•of a bad smell about
the post office, and asked Brown what
it could be. Brown didn't know, but
suggested that it might be caused 'by
the "dead lettere."
A cotemporary says he once knew a
young . lady who was so excessively mo
dest that she always wore green specta
cles, because she objected to looking at
gentlemen with her naked eyes,
A little boy, seeing a man prostrate
before the door of a groggery, opened
the door, and putting in his head, said
to the proprietor, "See here, sir, your
,sign has fallen down."
A clergymen gave the following toast,
that was not very gallant, at late fire
men's celebration:: Our fire-engines—
may..they be like old maids—ever ready,
but never wanted."
An editor out West bas married a
girl by th• name of Ohara. lie says
be has experienced more happiness since
he Juts joined the church than he did in
all hislife before.
A pert little girl boasted to one of
her friends that her father kept a oar•
"Ah 1 but my father drives an omni
bus," was the triumphant reply.
Why do people affix the words "no
eat:da" at I,lle end of a marriage an
nonpoement ? Because they have play
'4)&6ll their cards be re marriage.
Much remains unsung, as the tom cat
said when a brick cut short his serenade.