Newspaper Page Text
By FRED'K L. BAKER.
i f BRITTON & MUSSER'S if
FAMILY DRUG STORE,
Narket Street, Marietta, Pa.
Ba rret & Mussna, successors to Dr. F.
vi ole, will continue the business at the old
, hey are daily receiving additions
stock which are received from the
reliable importers and manufacturers.
could respectfully ask a liberal share
Do are now prepared to supply the de
„slid the public with everything in their
re of trade. Their stock of
DRUGS AND MEDICINES
1:a>11 AND PrILE, HAVING JUST ARRIVED.
?Oe, Noes Lititiot.s
. 101 i IVEDICINAL USES ONLY,
Atl THE POPULAR PATENT MEDICINES.
I.,,eam's of all kiuds, Fancy and Toilet Ar-
Wes of every kind, Alcoholic and Fluid
I.xtraets, Alcaloid and Itesinoids, all
the best Trusses, Abdominal Sup
porters,Shoulder Braces, Breast
Pumps, Nipple Shells and
Shieldlas, Nursing Bottles,
Alarge sup ply of
lid, HAIR, TOOTH, NAIL AND CLOTHES BRUSHES.
~,t h powder and Pastes, Oils, Perfumery,
hh,r, Combs, Hair Dyes, Invigorators, &c.;
isl oil, Lampe, Shades. Chimneys, Wick, &c,
Pq!,uisas supplied at reasonable rates .
,sededies and PleSerlptlDDEl carefully and ac
-00203 cvmpotkaded ail hours of the day and
4 16 tr Charles 11. Britton, Pharmaceutist,
aim all pay especial attention to this branch
I thy lawless. Having had over ten years
,tiVical experience in the drug business
his to guarantee entire satisfaction to all
MO patronize the new firm.
0-11.05011 . S Compound Syrup of Tar, on
~ bd sad for sale.
urge supply of School Books, Stationary,
F.r.. always on hand.
low ti to 10, H. to 2, and G to 6 p. m.
I i7/le, H. Britton. A. -1.1 - itsser.
Ihrow, October 20, 1866. 11:tf
JACOB LIBHART, JR. ;
SP I'SUERTtIKER, MARIETTA, PA
IOU LL) most respectfully take this meth.
1 kt of informing the citizens of Marietta
the public in general, that, having laid in
lot of seasoned Lumber, is now prepared to
,iiiithicture all kinds of
C.IBLV ET FURNITURE,
:yle and variety, at short notice
ha, on hand a lot of Furniture of his own
minticuctuie, which for fine finish and good
ikinanship, will rival any City make.
Eqecial attention paid to repairing.
al.o now prepared to attend, in all its
the UNDER:FA KING business, he
w inIT!;7.I %%Rh nil excellent [terse. large
finished in any style—plait
Wire Rogan and Manufactory, near Mr
PAP,. ut w haildtng, near the " Upper• Sta
0 .," Marietta, Pa. Oct. 22.
IL 4-• E. J. ZAILII,
Q....4Corner of North Queen-St.,
owl centre Square, Lancaster, Pa..
Ir E are prepared to sell American and
Swiss \Vetches at the lowest cash rates!
'kVt boy directly from the Importers and Man
%tansrers, and can, and do sell Watches as
I , !tt as they can be bought in Philadelphia or
stock of clocks, Jewelry, Spectacles,
Niter and Silver-plated ware constantly on
hot. Every article fairly represented.
H. L. 4. E. J. ZAHMS
c 'rket North Queen Street and Centre Square
First National Bank of Marietta.
l'oLg NKI NG ASSOCIATION
lIAVINO COMPLETED ITS ORGANIZATION
now prepared to transact all kinds of
LI AN KIN G BUSINESS.
The Board of Directors m t weekly, on
ftedoesday, for discount and other business
link /fours : From 9A.50t03 P. M.
. 1 01 IN HOLLINGER, PRESIDENT.
4310 S BOWMAN, Cushier.
DR. J. z.IIOFFER,
OF THE BALTIMORE COLLEGE
*kiwi OF DENTAL SURGERY,
LATE OF HARRISBURG
OFFIc E:—Front street, next door to R
Williams , Drug Store, between Locust
Waltiut streets, Columbia.
Physician and Surgeon.
AC ING removed to Columbia, would em
brace this opportunity . of informing his
rr' et patiunta and tamilies in Marietta and
', 4 !''ltS, that he can still' be consulted daily,
bis nllice in Marietta, between the hours of
'and 3 o'clock, P. M.
Marietta, February 9, 1867.-if.
II S. TROUT, M. D.,
Offen his professional services to the citizens
of Marietta and vicinity
o FFlrc:—ln the Rooms formerly occupied
• - r. F. Hinkle, Market-st., Marietta.
G-_ VC7".. Wcprraii,
KXET STREET, ADJOINING
S i" i ngier & Rich's Store, second floor,
DANIEL G. BAKER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
OVPICE, :—.No. 24 NORTH DIME STREET
. 4 ° ,l ite the Court House, where he will at
"nd to the practice of his pr ofesuon in its
MARK THE SEASON!
, -- Anotilurival of those incomparable Gas
oiling Parlor Stoves. Also,
IMPROVED VULCAN HEATER.
' 4l l sad Bee them at J. SPANGLER'S.
TTENTION ! SPORTSMEN !
46 , Llers Gun Cups, PAW.' Gun Wadds,
`lgPont's Sporting and Glazed Duck Pow er
Itunore Shot i Shot Pouches, Powder 'Flasks,
tk,ce . -)*.,':.ae.iii'...'7 . 4:411.
The Mariettian is published weekly,
at $1:50 a-year, payable in advance.
Office in "Lindsay's Building," near
the Post office corner, Marietta, Lan
caster county, Pa.
Advertisements will be inserted at the
folloWing rates : One square, ten lines
or less, 75 cents for the first insertion,
or three times for $1:50. Profession
al or Business Cards, of six lines or less,
0 , 5 a-year. Notices in the reading col
umns, ten cents a-line ; general adter
tisements seven cents a-line for the first
insertion, and for every additional in
sertion, four cents. A liberal deduc
tion made to yearly advertisers.
Having put up a new Jobber press
and added a large addition of job type,
cuts, border, etc., will enable the estab
lishment to execute every description of
Plain and Fancy Printing, from the
smallest card to. the largest poster, at
short notice and reasonable rates.
Sleep ! gentle sleep !
Descend and keep
Thy vigils kind o'er those that weep
Wipe sorrow's eye,
Bid trouble fly,
While in thy soothing arms they lie.
Visit the child,
With accents mild,
Until within thy power beguiled,
In sweetest rest, -
Upon thy breast,
Rocked in its cozy cradle nest,
Its eyelids close, while deep repose
Steals far away, all infant woes.
Charmer of care !
Guardian so fair—
Watch o'er the poor with pitying care ;
Andin their dreams
Show them br;glit scenes,
Arcadian vales, and murmuring streams
Drive care away and with them-stuy
Until the dawning ofthe day.
At midnight still
. When in thy will
Lie woodland, mountain, vale and hill
In silence creep •
And slyly creep
And it thou spiest eyes that weep,
Exort thy sway,, make them thy prey,
And till the daylight with them stay.
Wanted—A "Gun "
The following piece of burlesque is
designed to set off the ridiculous and in
solent demands of "help" in these days
of liberal ideas and "equal rights."
Wanted—A "gull," to dwelliti3 my
family, assist my wife in doing the work
and give directions generally. -
One of the Irish-German-American
lecent will answer, if she was, born in,
Ireland, and knows a flap-jack from a
W e also expect she will use something
besides matches to get breakfast with.
Wages not much object, if she will
only lea e me enough of my income to
pay for the crockery ware that she
If she should not be satisfied with hav
ing five evenings in a week, an effort will
be made to give her eight; she may de,
cide what we shall have to eat, and
whether it shall be overdone, underdone,
or done at all, and do, in fact, as she
pleases, except wear my wife'R.gloves or
shoes (unless her hands and feet are
within four sizes of being too small).
P. S.—We always expect to" give our
help Christmas and New Year's gifts,
worth from one dollar..to one bandied
dollars, just as we prefer.
P. P. B.—Feathee`beds or mattresses,
A 'sick sister" or ''old snither" will
be no objection, as reeler° a spare chem .
bereand will, if necessary, hire a "miss"
to take care of her.
Apply at 99 Gray street, between 9
A. M. and 4th of July.
A scoffer once asked, "What advant
age has a religious man over one like my.
self ? Does not the sun shine on me as
on him this fine day ?" "Yes," replied
his companion, a pious laborer, "but the
religious man has two suns shining on
him at once—one on his body, the other
on his soul,"
or If you love others they will love
you.—lf you speak kindly to them, they
will speak kindly to you. Love is repaid
with love, and hatred with hatred. If
you would bear a sweet and pleasing echo
speak sweetly and please.ntly.yourself.
e ir Candor, in some people may be
compared to lemon drops, in which the
acid predominates over the sweetness.
sr Wait for others to advanoe your
interests, and you will wait until they
are not worth advancing.
Gir "Parents," said a solemn preach:
er, "you have. children ; if you have not
luttegtOtut Vonsglinutia *anal far fie Nome emit.
MOIETTA,` ss F'A., SATURDAY, MARCH 9, 1867.
.For "rile Mirriatian."
"Another brow" For the bloater,
A carpenter, who was tired of making
an honest living, came to a gentleman ,
in Philadelphia with a petition for a ,
tavern license; which he requested him
to sign. The gentleman looked at him,
and asked him why he did not stick to
his plane and bench. The answer was
"Tavern-keeping is a more lucrative
trade ; I want to get richer." "Well,
but do you not think you will be afford
ing additional facilities to drunkards to
destroy themselves ?" "Perhaps I shall."
"Do you not believe that at least five
men every year will die drunkards if
you succeed in getting a license ?"
"Why, I never thought of that before,
but I suppose it would be so." "Then,
if the Lord lets you keep tavern for ten
years, fifty men will have died through
your agency—now what becomes of the
drunkard ? Does he go to heaven ?" ,
"I suppose not," was the somewhat re
luctant. reply. 'I am sure he does not,
for no drunkard shall inherit the king
dom of heaven. What becomes of him
then ?" "Why —he must go to hell."
"Well, do you not think that it will be
just, if the Lord at the end of ten years,
sends you down to hell too, to look after
those fifty drunkards ?" The man, we
are glad to be able to add, threw down
j. his petition, went backto his useful and
hondrable occupation, and was never
tempted to desire a license again.
The story, my friends needs no com
ment. It speaks for itself. It , is "ar
gumentum ad, hominem." [Argument
um ad hominem.] Right glad indeed
are we that the good people of both
State and Nation are taking hold of this
. great subject in such noble earnest.
Such conventions as that recently held
in our State Capital will do immense
good, we trust. They are omens of
richer blessings in store, for this goodly
land of ours, so long cursed with the
giant evil of Intoxication. They seem
to be, in the interest taken by those
high in authority, an evidence that our
nation is at least aroused to a sense of
the degradation and shame to which we
are exposed by such disgraceful scenes
as have recently transpired upon the
ficors of Congress, to say nothing of a
still more conspicuoul). platform.
Yes, thank God, the nation is aroused,
and we believe that the fate of the Rum
seller is sealed. They had better begin
at once to "close out ;" for—
" From the high Rot.ky Mountain,
To the Atlantic strand ;.
Where many al purling fountain
Flows 'through our youthful land,
From many a Northern river
To many a Southern plain,
They call us to'deliver
Garland from-Bacchus' chain."
And who is he who dares to cry :
"Hold! the hour is not yet come ?"
A new Test. —What is he?---How to tell !
A Traveler called lately, about night
fall, at a farmer's house near Albany.
The owner being from home and the
mother and daughter being alone, they
refused to lodge the wayfarer.
"How far, then," said he, "is it to a
Douse where a preacher can get lodging?"
"Oh 1 if you are a preaeher," said the
lady, "you can stop here."
Accordingly he dismounted, deposi
ted his saddle bags in the house and led
his horse to the stable. Meantime the
mother. and daughter were debating the
point as to what kind of a preacher he
"He cant be a Presbyterian," said one,
"fo . he is not dressed, well enough."
"He is not a Methodist," said the
other, "for his coat is not the right cut
for a Methodist."
"If I could only find his hymn book,"
said the 'daughter, "I could soon tell
what sort of .a preacher he is;' and with
that she thrust her hand into the saddle
bags, and pulling out a flask of liquor,
she .exclaimed "La I mother, he's a hard
An Irish girl was ordered to hang
the wash clothes on the horse in the
kitchen to dry. Her mistress shortly
after found a very gentle family horse
standing in the kitchen completely cov
ered with the articles that had been
washed that day. Upon interrogating
the girl tie reply was, "Och, to be sure
ye tonld me to hang the clothes upon
the horse in the kitchen, and the baste
is the kindest Liver saw, sure."
That young man to itom the
world owes a living, has just been . turn.
ed out of doors—the landlord not being
willing to take the indebtedness of the
world upon his. own shoulders.
From The E prw.
Dreams and Dreaming.
"—Many monstrous forms in sleep , we see,
Which neither were, nor are, nor e'er can be."
Without attempting to enter into the
cause or the philosophy of. dreaming, I
Intend, in this paper, to confine myself
to ,a mere narration of the "circumstan
tii4 facts." In another paper on the
subject, I may discuss the "why and the
wlerefore" of these phenomena, end al-
so what they indicate. Many years ago,
wken I was an apprentice, my master
left home on a two weeks visit to his
re?atives in the centre of the State, and
gave me a task to perform daring hie ab-
The task could easily have been
performed in eight or ten days, but I be
came dilatory, and at the end of that
time it was not yet finished. On the
tehth night I dreamed that he would re-
tern the next day at three o'clock in the
afternoon. After I awoke I became so
deeply impressed with the dream, and
so mortifiad,the.t I had .not performed
the task ha gave me, that I could not
sleep. and so I arose and immediately
resumed my work, and by a great effort
had it 'finished the next day at half-past
two, and at three o'clock my master
walked into the door, dressed precisely
as I had seen him in my dream, although
none of his family or friends had expect
ed him for three or four days yet. Lat
er in life, I had a dream, equally as dis
tinct, that I had received, or rather
would receive, a visit from a friend
whom I had not seen for a number o
years, at two o'clock on the next-day
So confident was I that my friend would
come at the expected hour, and so simi
larly was I impressed, thEit I made pre-
.parations for hie reception, but when the
hour arrived he did not appear ; and he
subsequently , informed me in a: letter,
that he never for a moment entertained
an intention of coming at that time. In
neither of these dreams did a thought o
he parties enter my mind, when I wen
o sleep. On another occasion, I at
tended one of those night abominations, I
called, by way of distinction, terrapin
suppers, and ate profusely of an indigest
ible compound, composed of terrapin
soup, stewed oysters, lobster sauce,
chicken salad and pickles. At one
o'clock I retired , and went to bed, and
almost immediately fell into a sleep and
almost immediately also, into a dream,
which continued the remainder of the
night. But, such a dream 1 mammoth.
terrapins, with - glaring eyes and lolling
tongues, and armed with great butchei
, knives, menacing me on every side !
huge lobsters pinching me and leading
me by the nose, comic oysters jeering
at me from beneath their rough coated
shells—and fierce ch an ticleers screaming
defiantly in my ears. On a former oc-
casion, under ciretimatances very similar
I had sunk into a gentle and refreshing
slumber, without a dream of any kind,
and perfectly oblivious of all thought,
feeling or affection whatever. Again, I
have laid myself down weary and forlorn,
with a mind heavily charged with ' the
perplexities and.responsibilities of life,
and in utter despondency, desiring a
temporary solace, at least, in a hopeful
and pleasant dream. But, although
through the weary courtships of my
care-tired thoughts;" I could win sleep
to my bed, I could not win a dream of
any kind. In substantially the same
condition of mind, and apparently the
same condition of body, at another time
I have dreamed the most happy, pure
and heavenly dreams. My spirit seemed,
to be entirely out,of,, kind free from the
trammels of the matkariaL body, for al
though superlatively.qtappy, r experi
ecced none of the pimps of sense.
Sights, scenes, soundirand objects of
the most lovely character, met my view
on every, hand, and seemed to be special
ministrations to my comfort and happi
ness ; and when the pleasing charm be
came dissipated by the wakeful realities
of this iiether world again, their elevat-
Ing and refining influences have been
felt for days. And yet, again, in the
happiest and most self-satisfied state of
mind, I have fallen asleep, and haie.
dreanied such dreams of horror as no
pen can describe. Dreams of wallowing
sensuality, and bitter remorse—of fierce
conflicts and terrible goadings—of de
moniac infestations, through which 1
felt myself utterly overthrown and "sink
ing down." And when I have awoke
from these, I have thanked God — that it
was but a dream, and that I wad still on
this side of the fatal"Styir, although fer
dayi I have ruminated upon, whether, it
did not also involVe "ii sfirowd doubt;
though it be hilt a dream."
But, to nie'the moat remarkable, and
by far the most mortifying of my dreams
have been those of a dual or triple char.
acter—that is; dreams within dreams ;
and espeeially so, because my dreams
are usually vivid and distinct; and even
after I awake, it is sometime before I
can realize that I was only dreaming.
Soine of tbese dreams have been more
than mortifying—they - have been per
plexing end terrifying.
For instance, I dreamed that I met
and married a beautiful maiden altogeth
er unconscious that such a relation al-
ready existed between me and another
of the fair daughters of Eve. After
rambling for a time through' the sylvan
groves of what appeared to me a perfect
paradise, T suddenly awoke to find my
self in my earthly home, surrounded by
my family ; bat there also was the "bean-
tiful maiden ;" and the perplexity was
how to reconcile this'duplicate relation
without degenerating into Mormonism.
Happily for me, just at the moment
when a conflict of domestic jurOdiction
was about to occur, I awoke, and found
my unconscious lawful frauline, softly
slumbering at my side. On another oc
casion, in a dream, I either killed a hu
man being, or was found in such a man
ner connected with his death, as to de
volte its whole responsibility on my
head, and largely also upon my. con
science. I was -sorely troubled about
the matter, and went to work in secret-
lig the body. For this purpose I cut it
up and carried it away and buried it
piece -meal, which occupied me some
days, for I had to watch my opportuni
ties. After this was accomplished
was in a most forlorn and melancholy
state of mind, for I did not know who
the individual was whom I had slain,
and as little by what means I had Brain
him. In this state of mind I awoke,
and was congratulating myself that. I
had only been dreaming, wben I was ac
cused of the murder, .and" told of the
different places where I had buried the
parts of the, body, Feeling certain that
I had been dreeming, I. triumphantly
accompanied my accusers, but my tri
umph was of short duration, for, true
enough, there were all the pieces, 6IC.
burned and confronting me; I do not
think that all the sorrow, disappoint
ment, mortification and remorse, which
I experienced in my waking, moments
during a life of fifty years, constituted a
tithe of that which I felt in that dream,
and when I eventually awoke ,out of it,
I was covered all over with a clammy
sweat,,and in great terror. Oh another
occasion I was in a most beantifal grot
to, sparkling with rubies, emeralds, and'
diamonds, and other precious stones, of
the most beautiful col Ors and brilliancy.
Forthwith I began to fill my' pockets
with them), and after I"had them all fill
ed, I began to'refiect upon "the situa
tion," and ask myself whether, after all,
I might not have been dreatning. From
this state I soon after awoke, and -al
though this involved a change appar
ently of place and surroundings, yet, so
far as the precious stones were concern
ed, they were all still in my pocket, and
I now ventured to show them to others,
and to feel quite sore that all this was
real and not a dream. Bat I was doom
ed to disappointment, for about the
time .I thought of disposing of mjr .
oral treasures and converting them into
cash, I was suddenly called to breakfast,
and found that after all I had been mere
ly dreaming., Divers other dreams I
have had ; such as going to bed very
hungry, and dreaming all night of sump
tucius and magnificent feasts and festi
vals, in' whichihe more I ate and drank
the more hungry and thirsty I became;
at other times being in a desolate and
be:rren waste, with nothing to eat or
drink, and ' famished for the-want
of these. Dreaming also of being on
the roofs of high steeples and towers,
and gradually sliding off towards the
edges of them, and there holding myself
up by a convulsive grasp of the eaves
then, after being no longer able to con
tinue my grasp, from sheer terror and
,fatigue, letting go and falling plump
upon the hard pavement• beneath, which
happily always awoke mo out of my
dreams, feeling rejoiced that my bones,
and especially.my peek -and back, were
not broken. The foregoing dreatasin a
multitude of phaseS, havabeen anplica•
ted over again ind again'; nor do 'I sup
pose they - are anything more than what
is the common lot of men in their ma.
nambulic experieces. All these things
are but effects of :tome prior cause.
S'one of them may -have been ends, and
others may ,have been eke* of, which
the ends were still in the '
womb of the
future. Taking them either AS effects_
or ends, it would seem difficalt_to mg:
gest any certain or specifialtiseorfitgot
which 'to base their - osueetr; 4lsbough - to.
account for some of them.it would op-
VOL. , XIII.--NO. 31.
pear to be plain enough. But, as at
the outset, I did not intend to say any
thing about the philosophy of dreaming,
I will therefore leave this simple narra
tive of facts to the cogitations of the
reader at this time, as a matter of gen
eral concern; leaving, also, their solu
tion to be effected by such fundamental
prinaiples as have linen applied to such
phenomena, by those learned in the hid
den love of dreamland. GRANTELLIIII.
Stuff for Smiles.
• A splendid ear but a very poor voice
as the organ-grinder said to the donkey.
A schoolmaster "struck He" the oth
er day—a juven=ile.
If you wish to strike for wages strike
with the axe or hob.
Drive your cattle upon the ice, if you
want cowslips in the winter.
Woman is a delusion : still, men will
"Speech is silver, but silence golden.' ,
Hence the expression, hush money.
Simon spells rescue thus—res q.—
He also spells easy in this way—e-z.
"Millions for - de fence !" as the nigger
said when a . bull`cbased him across a ten
Who is the laziest man ? The furni
ture dealer ; he keeps chairs and lounges
about all the time.
What is a lover ? One, who in his de.
sire to get possession of another, looses
possession of himself.
An old bachelor says tire ladies are
like Scotch snuff, because they will bring
a foolish man to his-knees (sneeze).
The man who "couldn't stand it any
longer" has taken , a seat, and now feels
quite comfortable. '
Why cannot a deaf man be legally con
victed ? Because it is not lawful to con
demn a man without hearing.
That man is not good enough for any
place who thinks no place good enough
_ "I feel too lazy to work," said a loafer,
‘'and I have no time to play. I think
I'll go to bed and split the difference."
A contraband who witnessed the ex
plosion of a shell for the first time ex
claimed : "See dar hell hab laid an
"Are you the mate ?" said a passen
ger to the Irish cook of a vessel. "No,"
answered Pat, "but I'm the boy that
boils the mate
Jones called on the . man who "restores
oil paintings," and requested him to try
to restore one stolen from his residenup
a year ago. ,
A London furrier advertises that la
dies whe wish to have muffs made of the
genuine article "can select their own
The principle of an academy gave a
pupil, who was an aspirant for the situa
tion of school teacher, a certificate which
read "This young man is capable of
filling any, position for .which he is qual
"Landlord," said Jonathan the other
day, stepping up to the bar of a public
hoUse, "jist'give us a cents worth New
Tine l ind, rind put it in two tumblers.
Here Jim take hold, I'll payd—n the
expenses, I say when a fellow is on a
An Irishman speaking of the excell
ence of a telescope said, "Do you see
that small speck on yonder hill ? That
is my old pig, though it is hardly to be
seen, but when I look at him with my
glass, it brings him so neaf I can plain
ly hear him - grunt.
One day as Patrick O'Nill was riding
home with a sack of potatoes before him
discovered that his horse was getting
tired, whereupon he dismounted, putting
the potatoes on his own shoulder, again
mounted, saying "that it was better he
should, carry the praties, as he was fresh
er than the poor bast."
"Pa," observed a young urchin of ten
der years to his fond parent, "does the
Lord know everything ?"
"Yes, my son," replied the hopeful
sire ; "bat why do you ask that ques
tion t' 'lliecause our preacher, when he
prays, is so long telling the Lord every
thing, I thought he wasn't posted."
The parent reflected.
"William," said a carpenter to his ap.
prentice, "I'm going away to day, and I
want•yon to grind all the tools."
The carpenter came home at -eight.
ao.dililLy arse asked-if he bad ground all
the tools right sharp.
"All,but thicluffdliw " said - Bill, "I.
couldp't get ludo all tea gape out of