BY FRED'K L. BAKER.
BRITTON & MUSSER'S i f
FAMILY DRUG STORE.
,liarket ' Street, Marietta, Pa.
•
Nar a & Wicks, successors to Dr. F.
v ole, will continue the busitiess at the old
51 ,0, where they are daily receiving additions
)ibeir stock, which are received from the
el'ort reliable importers and manufacturers.
- n e r would respectfully ask a liberal share
of public patronage,
They are now prepared to supply the de-
They
of the public with everything in their
onto( trade. Their stock of
DRUGS AND MEDICINES
Is ttletti SO P (PRE, RAVING JUST ARRIVED.
?It? , Nina ana Kitittoti
FOR MEDICINAL USES ONLY,
AL THE POPULAR PATENT MEDICINES.
p i p
info of all kinds, Fancy and Toilet At
tain a every kind, Alcoholic and Fluid
Extracts, Alcaloid and Besitiolds, all
the best Trusses, Abdominal Sup
porters,Shoulder Braces, Breast
Pumps, Nipple Shells and
Shields, Nursing Bottles,
A loge supply of
lg. HAIR, TOOTH, NAIL AND CLOTHES BRUSHES.
D.,4 powder and Pastes, O ils,
Perfumery,
tops, Combs, Hair Dyes , gorators, &c ;
taxi Oil, Lamps, Shades, Chimneys, Wick, &c,
Physicians supplied at reasons hle rates.
gedinnetand Prescriptions carefully and ac
windy compounded all hours of the day and
L o r by Charles H. Britton, Pharmaceutist,
who wt.l pay especial attention to this branch
it the business. Having had over ten years
tacticol experience it, the drug business enti
tle him to K uaraaake entirt satisfaction to all
uho may patronize the new firm.
Amp s upply of School Hooks, Stationary,
yc.. always on hand.
>LINDA Y HOURS:
rernS to 10, a. tn.,-12 to 2, anal sto p. m.
qur;is 11. Britton. A. Aftwer.
%mita, October 20, 1836. 11-tf
Established 1829
0 I Z'S
0 Old Established
0 pi, ap tk,' int fort,
50 .20 4,llk,ieN STREET,
LdNeAsrEli.
l: kv,,a:d a spcctfully announce that our
,t)ies tor the Fall and Winter of 1566,
DOW r.utly consi.ling of
tiltnites thine Silk, Ca-eimere, Plain and
Una'', Fat and IA out, or Cassimerett,
Stiff Cant.imere, Soft and Steel exten
cet Brim, and Flexible Self-ad
justing and D'Orsay Brim
lAA rJIC Mil al
k new, novel and beautiful designs, and at
Pa prices 4S to melee a an inducement -for
I lu purclia.e.
raps I
Gaps I 1
Our !suck of Caps comprises all the newest
s;us fur Men, Buys and Children's Fall and
llater star. Our motto is,
"Equality to all."
Tie lowest selling price Marled to figures on
ti 11 wide, and never varied from, at
SIIULTZ SI BROTHER'S,
at, Cap and Fur Store,
No. 20 North queen-st.. Lancaster.
U' All kinds of Shipping Furs bought and
re highest Cash prices paid.
AWES' FANCY FURS
VOW OPENING Ai
SHULTZ & BR 0 T AVER'S,
NO. 20 NORTH QUEEN-ST..
LANCASTER, PA.
very choice collection of Ladies' Fancy Furs
Alink Sable, \link,
Siberian Squirrel,
German Russian and
American Fitcl4 'Lurk Martin
apes, Victorines,
Berthas, Cult' and Matra,
For bodies' and Chi!drum' Wear.
Ladies' and Cnildrens , Hoods, Capland
Pu trimming, Gentlemen's Fur Collars, Caps
irtq Gives in all qualities. A complete 48-
mt.nent of FANCY SLEIGIJINU ROBES.
SHULTZ & BROTHER'S,
Hatters and Furriers.
3 PP s uly, Furs of all kinds bought and the
Aighe>t cash prices paid.
t Opposite the Buttonwood Tree.
HEILTZLER & GUION,
[ SUCCESSORS TO JOHN HEMMEN, J
IMPORTERS AND DEALERS IN WINES AND
No. 821 _Market Street,
PHILADELPHIA.
HERTZLER.] LOBO. A. OUION.
3 lishler's _Herb .Bitters for sale
Firer National Bank of Marietta.
T
HIS BANKING ASSOCIATION
HAVING COILPLETED ITS ORGANIZATION
11 tinw prepared to transact an kinds of
8,8 -NKING Eli MINES'S.
1 ,,T 11 ,e Board of Directors meet weekly, on
"beeday, for discount and -other business.
WINO Moore : From 9A.X to 3 P.M.
JOHN
Gs BOW HOLLING
ieER, Panama:.
MAN, cashr'
DR. WM. B. FAHNESTOCK,
no PF[CE; ,
VIZARLY OPPOOTTS
a Ptinglar &Pa on's Sloss.
° Fria' lions. Iro.olig 7 T so 2. O 8 A. 311.
1
" 6To7P. M.
LARGE LOT OF BUFF WINDOW
S LOES at remarkably low prices—
JOHN SPANGLER..
S PI CEBOXES, sugar boxes, fruit jars, win"
dew blip* looking owns, at
JOHN SPANGLER'S.
*lr% P RINTING of every deecription ex
.-oersted
The With
fdariettianneatness and dispatch at the
4 Di
' R ES T quality or Wines and Liquo re for
bediciaal purpeees, at Dr. Landis'.
11/1183 porcelain: linedP reserving ket tle ')
et JOHNSPANGLER ) S.
rillaAl SEIRTS.—R ROTH'
ine see them. °to
A trimmol t Ind! of 91aak Dais d Jim "— *
• POT Fah at Oda alartm
T#t )-,11....,..t(..-Toitt:i.,an.,.
PUBLISHED. WEEKLY,
AT ONE DOLLAR AND A MLR A YEAR,
PAYABLE IN ADVANCE.
Office in " LINDSAY'S BUILDING," second
floor, on Elbow Lane, between the Post
Office Corner and Front-St., Marietta,
Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.
ADVERTISING RATES: One Bquare (10
lines, or lees) 75 cents for the first inseition.and
One'Dollar and-a-half for 3 insertions. Pro
fessional and. Business cal dB, of six lines or less
at t 5 per aanum. Notices in the reading col
umns, ten cents a-line. Marriages and Deaths,
the simple announcement, yake . ; but tor any
additional lines, ten cents a line.
A liberal deduction made to yearly s ad half
yearly advertisers.
Having just added a " NEWBURY MOUN
TAIN JOBBER Paces," together with a large
assortment of new Job and Card type, Cuts,
Borders, &c., &c., to the Job Office of "THE
Maar Err/ A tt," which will insure the f ne and
speedy . execution of all kinds of Joe & CARD
PRINTING, from the smallest Card to the
LARGEST POSTER. at reasonable prices.
PATTERSON & CO.,
NO. 66i MARKET STREET,
MARIETTA, PA.
D EALERS IN
FOREIGN & DOMESTIC
HARDWARE,
Keep constantly on hand a full stock of Bu
ding Material, Nails,
LOCKS, HINGES., t!
GLASS, PAINTS, OILS, WHITE LEAP, 1
SUPERIOR ARTICLE OF CEMENT, BCC.,
fliß 0N: Rolled and Hammered
o y Iron, Steel, Horse-Shoes Bar,
Norway Nail Rods, Hoop and Band
Horse-Shoe Nails, Bolts, Files, Rasps, etc.
0 USE-KEEPIA G GOODS.
FIRST-CLASS COOKING
AND PARLOR STOVES, RANGES,
Tubs, Churns, Coda, Stands,
Wash Boards, Buckets,
Knives and Forks,
Plated and Metalic Spoons,
Sad Irons, Kraut Clatters, Waiters, Brass at i
Copper Kettles Clothes Wringers, Pane,
Iron Ladles, Meat Stands, Coal Oil
Lamps, Shades and Lanterns, Tea
Scales, Coffee Mills, Painted
Chtimber Setts, &c., &c.
Forks, Shovels, Hoes, Spades, Boris Brushes
Wheel Grease, Fish, Sperm and Lubric Oils,
Cistern Pumps, Long and Short Traces ;
Breast Chsins, &c., &c.
T 0() L S: Hand and Wood Saws, Hatchets.
Chopping and Hand Axes, Planes, Chine's,
Augers and Auger Bits, Braces, Prunning
Hooks and Shears, &c., &c.
1 ban k ful for past patronage, we hope to merit
and receive a continuance of the same.
PATTERSON 4r CC,
K EROSENE & GAS STOVES.
W-„EA & COFFEE BOILERS, GLUE POTS
- OIL CANS, 4-C. C.
DarAu the cooking for a family may, x
13-be done with - rerosene Oil, or Gas-CI
lia"with less trouble and at lees ex--Cg
113 - pense than any other fuel. _g
Each article manufactured by this Company
is guaranteed to perform all that is claimed
for it. 13- Send for Circular.
A Liberal Discount to the Trade.
KEROSENE LAMP HEATER CO,,
siP] 206 PEARL-ST., NEw-YoRR. LIY
• ••.
0,02 M
xc4l
va — 1
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r
si co
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a•sa.A p i r,
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`.4 p .11 Jo
i -p v
4 4V • 14
NEW WINTER GOODS
AT GABLE 4 STRICKLER'S,
MARKET STREI, MARIETTA - ; PA.,
LOW for CASH !
- - -
Having selected our stock out of a lot of
goods imported since the decline in gold, al
lows us to offer goods below New York and
Philadelphia retail prices.
OUR LADIES DEPARTMENT
Consists rf choice styles of embroidered Mo
hair, in plain colors, silk plaid Mohair. French
and Scotch wool plaids, English and French
merinos, figured and plain delaines. all styles
of American DeLaines, and a full stock of la
dies wear generally.
MEN AND BOY'S WEAR.
English, French and Domestic cloths; Car
simeres and veatings in great variety; Beaver
cloths for Overcoating ; undershirts and draw
ers ; hats and caps, &c., &c.,
House furnishing goods of all kinds ; flan
nels from 35 cents to $1 per yard ; large lot fla
n
nels from
and unbleached Muslins, Dills and
Cotton flannels. Glass and Queensware ;
floor and table oil clothe ; Groceries of all
kinds ; Salt i ces Fish, selling at correspond
ingly low ps. Call and examine for your
selves.
Marietta, Sept. 29. 1866.
OF. Worrall,
Surgeon Dentist, ,
0•••
MARKS? STIMET, ADJOIMPIG
Spangler & Rich's Store, second
_floor,
MARIETTA, P.A.
DANIEL G. BAKER,
ATTORN AT LAW,
• LA BY
NCASTER, PA,
OFFICE 24 NORTH . DONS Stanzr
oppomite the Court Honee, where he will at
tend to the practice of bit profepuen in all its
rericue brand:cc_
alnkytukut Vonsglania flurnal for It omt girth.
MARIETTA, PA., SATURDAY, DECEMBER 29, 1866.
For the Mariettian.
Cold' 'Water Arrows.—No: 5.
-----
Intoxication among Females
It may be, Mr. Editor, that some as
pects of the Temperance*question have
become somewhat "thread-bare." But
surely the subject of " Drunkenness
among Women," has assumed an import
ance, in the light of recent develops
meats, both new and startling.
The subject, we are glad to see, is
waking in some quarters an unwonted
interest. Still, very recently, a respect
able religions journal expressed an , un
willingness to believe some statements
ab to its general prevalence. This led
another •correspondent fo advert to
several facts which had recently come
under his own observation. Be say*
"A woman decently dressed recently
passed my house in such a state of ex
treme intoxication that she staggered
and reeled like any drunken man. Then
I recollected that two or three weeks
ago I had seen two women driving
through the streets furiously like any
drunken Nimrod. Then I remembered
a recent case in Chicago, where a re
spectable woman was taken up, drunk
in the street, and carried home in a car
riage, like any masculine bacchanal.
Some of us will call to mind the case
we witnessed two or three weeks since,
in one of the rooms of our " Upper Sta-
tion" of a young woman decently dressed
lying several hours in a drunken fit, and
calling forth, at times, the laughter and
coarse remarks of out slanders, by her
wild and foolish talk.
The Round able was the first to raise
the note of alarm, and its statements
having been severely criticised, as exag
gerated and indiscriminate, says in its
inns of Nov. 24th., "We admit, fully
and frankly, that the article called
Drunkenness among Women was too
sweeping and unqualified, and consider
ing the gravity of its importations, not
sufficiently guarded against wholesale
conclusions and misconstructions."
But the same periodical still main
tains "that its particular citations have
been more than justified by facts.
It states among other things, "By
careful inquiry and investigation, we are
now satisfied that it would be possible
to print the names of a greater number
of respectable females—women, that is,
of reputable families —than would fill
the apace occupied by this article (three
columns,) who within the last five years
in the city of New York have fallen vic
tims to drink."
Again, " From a Massachusetts of
ficial report, we gather, that in the single
year of 1864, ninety three men and forty
four women killed themselves by too
much strong drink."
Now is not this a shocking state of
things ? What is to be done? Oh I will
not facts like these arouse the careless,
the indifferent, the skeptical and the
apologist for the moderate use of ardent
spirits ? In our next we propose to
speak of some of the causes of this alarm
ing evil. W. A. J.
"Do you know the prisoner, Mr.
Jones?'
" Yes, to the bone."
" What is his character?"
" Didn't know he had any."•
" Does-he live near you ?"
" So near that he only spent five shil
lings for firewood in eight years."
- a• t" . 61 .:
zr X g
- 00'95$
" Did he ever come into collision with
you in any matter ?"
" Only once, and that was when he
was drank and mistook me for a lamp.
post.'
"From what you knom of him would
you believe him under oath V'
"That.depends upon circumstances.
If he was so much intoxicated that he
did not know what he was doing, I
would. If not, I wouldn't."
HOW TO SELECT YOUR POULTRY..-A
young turkey has a smooth leg and a
soft bill, and if fresh the eyes will be
bright and the feet moist. Old turkeys
have scaly, stiff feet. Young fowls have
a tender skin, smooth legs, and the
breastbone yields readily to the pressure
of the finger. The bent are those that
have yellow legs. The feet and legs of
the old fowl look as if they had seen
bard service in the world. Young ducks
feel tender under the wings, and the web
of the foot is transparent. The best are
thick and hard on thebreast.. Young
geese have yellow bills, and the feet are
yellow and supple ; the :skin may be
easily broken by the head of a pin, the
.breaetis plump and the fat white. An
o} goose is nest for the human stoma&
Proving Character.
The Wedding Fever
A New York correspondent of the
Philadelphia Home Weekly, speaking
of the different kinds of weddings, says • :
"Just now, weddings are the fashion.
Very public weddings, for the benefit of
all concerned and unconcerned. Pri
vate rehearsals gotten up at the bride's
home, of the ceremony in which the
happy couple elect, the attendant best
men and maidens, ushers, &c., practice
how to play their several parts grace.
fully. The organist is dully drilled, tha
most sentimental of the fair maids in
etructe him as to the pieces to be per
formed. The irrepressible and inevita•
ble "Wedding March" of Mendelssohn
as the party enter the church, and upon
leaving "Ever be Happy," from the
Enchantress, finished off with that sweet
little air, "How Can I Leave Thee-?'
"Oh, Summer Night," or some other
tender melody.
Next in detail is anniversaries. My
old bachelor friend, Crossbones, has
been to a sugar wedding—the latest
style. Gold and silver weddings,.he ar
gues, are time honored institutions.
Rather sensible, taking into considera
tion that they represent two actor's on
life's stage, who woo before the foot
lights, and save their jarring, rasping
and wrangling for the green room ; but
then mist follow, en suite, tin weddings
and wooden weddings, "fools stepping
in where angels fear to tread," and cost
ly sugar weddings.
Sugar weddings are the early pills
given to adolescence ; sugar coated pills
sweetly, coaxingly offered, greedily
swallowed and experience in the gastric
juice that proves the dose.
Wooden weddings simply go to test
the wonderful power of human endur
ance ; that our natures are wooden, the
sugar is off the pill, the romance disap
pearing ; yet we have our wooden Wed
dings to lay in a stock of wooden ware
and let Mrs. Grundy see hew wonderful
ly we digest our wooden pellets.
Tin weddings are the meretricious
glare and false newness of matrimony.
Tin is deceptive—so is human flotilla
A tin kettle is suggestive of many things
—tea, hot punch, oysters and milkmen
—in its primitive state of splendor.
Tin weddings give the world assurance
of the passing away of tender sentiments
as well as the wearing away of tin ware
in the culinary department; therefore
are tin weddings economical. They are
benefit nights in a small way, such as
are sometimes given as a seductive pow
der to fifth rate actors.
Gold and silver weddings are eminent.
ly respectable, because not patronized
by people of limited means. Those who
attend the silver and gold weddings are
expected to give a donation in propor
tion. People who adopt the current
phrase "can't afford," are public nuis
ances, and are generally black balled by
society,.
Twenty•five and fifty years of wedded
life brings a man in the condition of the
miller, who found it impoesibls to sleep
or live away from the din of his beloved
mill. It is custom that habituates a
man to every variety of life. Even a
woman's apron strings can rivet "like
hooks of steel."
Give your wife a little license, let her
prattle about freedom ; she argues free
dom of opinion is an- individual right—
inherent, original, independent of the
world. Freedom of action consists in
c arrying into operation, without invad
ing the rights of others, every lawful
determination, individual and associate.
Mark well those two expressions—"law
fel determination" and "rights of others."
Lawful, in the mouth of a woman, means
the possession of a husband, and "rights"
has become a household word, and is
now before Oongress 'in a struggle for
supremacy between white women and
black men.
Ai women, is these latter days of ours
marry with an eye to the future, gold and
silver weddings loom up in the dim per
spective. They beoome " engaged " to
excite the envy of their dear five hun
dred friends, display the largest diamond
ring of the season; the household is
then plunged into fearful confusion—
what with the seamstresses, dressmakers
and milliners, working to fill fourteen
Saratoga trunks with indispensable
loves of things sufficient to last a life
time ; receiving contributions of nap
kin rings, oyster ladles, and sugar scoops ;
pie knives and pickle knives and fish
knives ; and tea sets, and the innnmera
able family of spogag, eqfficient, when
means fail, to set up for small, silver
smiths.
It is inexpressibly paipfel to bear
bright young lips declare there is no
happiness without money. It is painful
to see men's brows corrugated with
heavy business thoughts, prematurely
gray through financial operations, weary
ing and slaving for the empty nothing
ness ; the vanity of toil for the perish
able goods of life ; in the frantic web , of
life, grasping only' for the golden thread.
An Oil Story.
Sam Black, who owned a snug little
farm, was somewhat startled one day by
an offer of more than twice the worth of
it in greenbacks.
"Shall you sell the farm, Samuel ?"
asked his wife.
"Certainly I shall," said Sam, "lithe
excited individuals don't back or prove
to be -a couple of escaped lunatics, as 1
half suppose them to be.
And sell he did.
After the bargain was made and the
money paid, one of the men took Sam
ad his wife to the back. of the farm,
where there was a small excavation in
the ground, filled up by the recent rain.
"See what you've lost, and we've
gained!" said the excited individual,
scooping up some water in old tin cup,
and holding it up for theirinspection.
Sara enough, the oil was half an inch
thick on the top of the water.
Sam was indignant.
"If I hadn't been a fool," as he said
to his wife, "and watched for indications,
I might have died a millionaire."
Sam's wife was bursting with laughter
but, restraining herself, she coaxed him
into the house and told him the whole
story :
" Yon remember when I had my cough
last winter, and the Doctor recommend
ed cod liver oil, Sam, and you brought
home a whole gallon, because you got it
cheap, and made me promise to take
three doses a day ? Well, I didn't, and
it stood in the closet till I clearied'the
house, when I threw it into the hole at
the foot of the garden."
Sam saw the joke and pocketed it, in
the shape of the greenbacks.
At last accounts Sam was liv,ing in
clover, while the oil hunters were indus
triously boring—and may be until this
time, for all we know.
sir A Western Judge, fall of fan and
frolic, and withal a widower with five
children, was lately bantered by a pretty
Miss of five-and•twenty for not taking a
wife. The Judge confessed his remiss
ness, and ended in offering himself to
the lady who had so handsomely pointed
oat hie shortcomings. She was willing
but there was one, to her, serious ob
stacle. " Well," said the Judge, "name
it. My profession is to surmount such
obstacles." "Ah I Judge, this is be
yond your powers. I have vowed that
if I ever married a widower, he must
have ten children." " Ten children !
0, that's nothing," said the Judge.
" I'll give you five now, and my note on
demand, in yearly installments, for the
balance."
sr A young fellow, whose better half
had just presented him with a pair of
bouncing twins, attended church one
morning. During the discourse the
clergyman looked right at our innocent
triend and saie, in a tone of thrilling el
oquence, " Young man, you have an im
portant responsibility thrust upon you."
The newly-fiedged dad, supposing the
preacher Blinded to his peculiar home
event, considerably startled the audience
by exclaiming, " Yes, I have .two of
iss- - Goats furnish a small supply of
very rich milk, and as their food costs
little, they have been found very profit
able animals by families needing but
little milk. Some of the best yield
three quarts per day, but generally from
three to four pints.
or Swearing in conversation indi
cates a perpetual distrust of a person's
own reputation, and is an acknowledge
ment that he thinks his bare word not
worthy of credit.
An exchange paper says, "A mutton
chop In boarding house parlance, means
a piece of the bone of a sheep from
which the mutton hos been all chopped
off."
" Tell the truth and shame the devil,"
I know lots of people who can shame
the devil easy snuff, but the tether thing
bothers 'em.—Josh Billings.
An exchange advises gentlemen not
to part their hair behind, for " hair part.
ed in that way reveals a . soft, place in
the head." -
Don't touch the lute when drums are
resounding. A wise man terniine silent
when fools are opoehing.
VOL. XIII.--NO. 21.
I Don't Care
Indeed, Mr. Upstart, "don't care."
So says the strutting fop, the idler,
lounger, loafer. So says the vain, giddy,
flirting novel reader—the impudent miss
to her mother, "I don't care, "I'll do as
/please, read what /please, dress as I
please." So says the unruly, disobedient
urchin. So says the iron hearted rum
seller. The cruel oppressor, " Let me
alone, I'll do as I please, kill or no kill
—I don't care." " I don't care," says
the tippler and smoker. " I don't care,"
says the profane swearer and Sabbath
breaker. " Who's a better right F'
How does this sound, young friends?
Little readers, do yoc ever say to your
parents, teachers or any one, " I don't
care ?" 0 shame ! shame. Care ? yes,
you should always care ; care to do
good, to do what is right, honest, pure,
lovely and of good report, Care to be
affable, courteous, industrious, neat,
obedient—temperate in all things. You
should care to keep good company, read
good books, and shun the evil. You
should care to fear God and keep his
commandments, to acknowledge him in
all your ways—to do justice, love mercy
and walk humbly, glorifying God in all
things. These are the things you should
care for daily and hourly.
There is no surer mark of lazy, trifling
impudent, insig ni Clean t, good-for-nothing
chaps, than this same don't careism ; to
hear them drawl out when they do
something wrung, "I don't care." Is it
not a forerunner of every evil ? of every
thing base, mean, low lived, corrupt,
shameful ?
henever we hear a boy, girl, or any
one making use pf the expression, " 1
don't care," it forcibly reminds us of the
proverb of Solomon : "A whip for the
horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for
the fool's back."
DRUNK Aso CRAZY.—The biography
of the poet Percival contains an anec
dote of his meeting with the novelist
James. Mr. James had all the airs of a
man of society, and Percival was es
pecially shrinking and modest in the
presence of a stranger, making his worst
impression at first. The parties were
introduced, and an attempt was made at
conversation, but they did not get on at
all. Percival showed a decided repug
nance, Mr. James a genteel contempt.
Soon entering the cars, they took differ
ent-seats, and Mr. James said, "My
friend, who is that Mr. Percival ? It
was replied that he was a distinguished
poet, when Mr. James said, "A little
cracked, kin ? The gentleman with
him met Mr. Percival a few days after.
who inquired, " Who is that Mr. James?
"G. P. R. James, the novelist, was the
reply. Said Percival, "A little drunk,
wasn't he ?'
ila" A man who has lost his nose, says
an old Scotch journal, has peculiar ad
vantages. Be cannot follow his nose,
bat then he cannot be poking it into
everything. Be cannot blow his nose,
but then he cannot take snuff, which is,
however, another thing. If he goes to
sleep you cannot tickle his 'nose ; and
when he is awake he cannot run his nose
against a post. Let him drink hard he
will never have a red nose, and never
will be exposed to the nickname of
Nosey ; and let him be as impertinent
,as he will, he may defy you to pull his
nose. " Sir, said a man to another
with a false nose, "11l pall your nose.'
"Sir, said he, "11l put my nose in my
pocket."
sir Dip the Atlantic dry with a tea
spoon; twist your heel in the toe of
your boot ; make postmasters perform
their promises, and subscribers pay the
printer ; send up fishing hooks, with
balloons and fish for stars ; when the
rain comes down like the cataract of
Niagara, remember where you left your
umbrella; choke a mosquito with a brick
bat ; in short, prove all things hitherto
considered impossible, bot never attempt
to coax a woman to say she "won't"
when she has made up her mind to say
she "will."
or In Ceylon the marriage ceremony
is performed by tying the couple togeth
•er by the thumbs. In this country they
are more frequently put together by the
ears.
piiir Lord Chesterfield once remarked
that even Adam, the first man, knew the
value of politeness, and allowed Eve to
have the lint bite at the apple.
Gir WIT should teetotallers never
bold - their - meetings at a theatre ? Be
cause tliere'ougl►t aot to be a drop seen
at them.