Jay FRED'K BAKER.
BRIT'ION & MUSSER'S t
FA
DRUG STORE,
Markt Sad, Atarietta, Pa.
. • S Mcssea, successors to Dr. F.
; , ,r y e , will continue the business at the old
where they are daily receiving additions
ru kick, which are received from the
,Lt reliableimporters and manufacturers.
. respectfully ask a liberal share
, e) ItS ,
patronage.
'Ter are now prepared to supply the de
ni the public with everything in their
eof trade. Their stock of
DRUGS AND MEDICINES
ravit AI4 D PURE, HAVING JUST ARRIVED.
ibve Nioesi i Kigttoi's
rot MEDICINAL USES ONLY,
LI. THE POPULAR PATENT MEDICINES.
fit Solfs of all kinds, Fancy and Toilet Ar
t::ei of every kind, Alcoholic and Fluid
Estracts, Alealoid and Resinoids, all
the best Trusses, Abdominal Sup
porters,Slioulder Braces, Breast
Pumps, Nipple Shells and
nhie:ds, Nursing Bottles,
A large eupply of
iq,lll, TOOTH, NAIL AND CLOTHES BRUSHES.
poster and Pastes, Oils, Perfumery,
Combs, flair Dyes, Invigorators, Sze.;
Lamps, Shades, Chimneys, Wick, &c,
rysicians tnpplied at reasonable rates .
;.ir,hcnies and Prescriptions fatefully and ac
,;;a! compounded all hours of the day and
tharles 11. Britton, Phrsrmaceutist,
WiLl pay especial attention to this branch
Having had over ten years
::,rtal experience in the drug business ens
ntutu so guarantee entire satisfaction to all
.is may patronize the new firm.
Pipidy of School Books, Stationary,
he.. always on hand.
.UN DAY HOURS:
to Itt, a. m.,-12 to 2, and 6 to 6 p. m.
'e7 It. Britton. A. ilfusser.
tta, October 20, ISO 6. II- tf
lztir dimming a:Itl Variety Store,
Ditifenbach's old stand, and two
t:,.+3 'llse Of the Golden Mortar
Drag Store, Market Street.
PJ MARGARET ROTH
pr: leave to announce to the Ladies of the
:,ara;ehoi Alarietta end vicinity, that she
m , tit returned from Philadelphia, where
,
io an entire new stock of fashionable
iwfutTRIMMIN(IS AND FANCY AR
o r loNs, tkx., embracing all the
of the 6eabort, among which will be
cu,eUrsted new style
imil lloop!;kirts ; Plain & Fanny Cartes;
i m r, floods, Childrens Coats Sac ques
and Fancy Mantua and Velvet
i;hms, Gimps, Cords and 7 assels,
4 , .r! Buttons in endless variety.
(114(.1 Linen Collura anti
l' , ffs for Laclics and Gents.,
~n and Gloves, Linen & Emb'd Collars,
Siavib, Plain St Emb'd ti'dkfs.
Cap, Silk & Zephyr Scarft ,
Germantown Wool,
Brea 4. foist Cosey B. •
,
Shetland Wool,
Zephyr Yarn,
Neuk-Ties,
& SKELETON smaTs,
Liging, Ruffling, Cord of all
Fancy Faus, Kid, Kid-finith Bilk
sad White Lyle 'Thread Gloves, Silk
Embroidery, Men's Gloves
aryl Neck Ties, Pearl Cuff
Koons, Pelt Buckles of
various styles, Tape
I'l . nm - fling, Linen
add Thread
Lace,
••r. FiFt Tassels, Emery Bags, Fancy
S , hps. Perfumery, &c.,
htt:t , i,.tr attention has been paid to the se
!erill wares, such as Sewing Silk,
•Lito a Thread, Whalebone, !looks
Netalcs, Pins, &C. •
, 1 3'The public. are particularly requested to
tivul exionitie for themselves.
. I :i'Mts. R. is agent fur the sale of the eel.
,ated Sieger "A" Family Sewing Machines
the first premium at the late New
tt mate Fair. She will also instruct per
"" from her, how to work the
& LIQUORS.
i Y LI. i 7. 131:NJAN1rN,
DE 41 ER IN
\VINES Ll QUORS,
Citoer of Front-st, and Elbow Lane,
MARIETTA, PA.
:GS leave to inform the public that he
l 'uler.ntinue the WINE & LIQUOR busi
,' li, all its branches. lie will constantly
Don hand all kinds of
.andieB, Wines, Gins, Irish and Scotch
Whiskey, CordialB,Bitters,il.c.,
BENJAM.IN'S
Tustly Celebrated Rose Whisky,
received,
ON HAND.
It very su
ed, which OLD RYE WHISKEY.
is .
:1 14.41 1 li. D. B. now asks of the pubic
„teareful examination of his stock and mi.
:;' lE ' e v lach will, he is confident, result in Ho
pets and others finding it to their ad
'Ne to make their purchases from him.
iji tqAtician and egafra-ealli
IpS located permanently in Columbia,
offers hie professional services to
q tnizena of that place.
, 11 : e in f aY be ound at his office, at the rest
-144
. 11 enjamin Haldeman, on Locust -st.,
? tric,..a d) !tome. to IO a. m., and 7 to 8 p. m.
rttµtewishing his services special cases,
n
these hours, will leave-mord by note
pos y er through the pt office.
"S7Cr.. worra,ll,
I ~ AF B urgeon Dentist,
S TREET, AD.TOIICING 44iders.
Ji• Rich's Store, second floor,
M ARIETTA, PA•
4 , NIEL G. BAKER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
LANCASTEL PA.
opp irr ,
's4j"it' :C.llOl
04 NORTH DUKE STREET
thc Courm where he will et
,l4
0411 to the
practice of his ' rofeenon in all ite.
htinch
DNEW RUM
clilwhrY purpeeee, Wa IINGLAN
rranted ge D n
tune
H. - D. lienfamin.
T 4,c% ctil ari . t:l7 +-41,
LATEST FASHIOnS DEMAND
J. W. BRADLEY'S
XeLeluwied 0 3 atent Occidex.
ELLIPTIC
[OR DOUBLE SPRING] SKIIt T.
MBE Wonderful flexibility and great com
j_ fort and pleasure to any I dy wearing the
Duplex Elliptic Skirt will be experienced par
ticularly in all crowded assemblies, operas,
carriages, railroad cars, church pews, arm
chairs, for promenade and house dress, as the
skirt can be folded when in use to occupy a
small place as easily and conveniently as a
silk or muslin dress, an invaluable quality in
crinoline not found in any single spring skirt.
A lady having enjoyed the pleasure, comfort
and great convenience of wearing the Duplex
Elliptic steel spring skirt for a. single day, will
never afterwards willingly dispense with their
use. For children, misses, and young ladies
they are superior to all others.
They will not bend or break like the Single
Spring, but will preserve their perfect and
grace shape when three or four ordinary skirts
will have been thrown aside as useless. The
hoops are covered with double and twisted
thread, and the bottom rods are not only double
springs, but twice (or double) covered ; pre
venting them from wearing out when dragging
down steps, stairs, &c.
The Duplex Elliptic is a great favorite with
311 ladies and is universally recommended by
the Fashion Magazines as the standard skirt of
the fashionable world.
To enjoy the following inestimable advanta
ges in crinoline, viz: superior quality, perfect
manufacture, stylish shape and finish, flexibil
ty, durability, comfort and economy, enquire
or J. W. BRADLEY 'S Duplex Elliptic or
Double spring Skirt, and be sure you get the
genuine article.
CAUTION :—To guard against imposition be
particular to notice that skirts °flared as "Do
'Lex" have the red ink stamp, viz: "J. W.
Bradley's Duplex Elliptic Steel Springs," upon
the waistband—none others are genuine. Also
notice that every hoop will admit a pin being
passed through the centre, thus revealing the
two (or double) springs braided together there
in, which is the secret of their flexibility and
strength, and a combination not to be found in
any other Skirt.
3• For sale in all stores where first class
skirts are sold, throughout the United States
and elsewhere. Manufactured by the sole
owners of the patent,
WESTS, SR DLE Y C.. 4 R
No. 97 Chambers and 79 & St Reade-sts, N.Y.
October 20, 1596.-3mj
&eitmitobul lelegagi);
A family and an agricultural journal
of the largest and handsomest
• dOcription.
DEVOTED TO
Choice literature, including Poetry, Novel
ettes; Tales, and moral and entertaining read
ing generally. lu the Literary Department
we shall present the choicest varieties within
the reach of our extended means. The Nov
elettes, Tales, Poetry,&c., shall be supplied
from the best and highest sources, and be equal
to anything to be bonne in any journal or ma
gazine.
Agriculture and Horticulture, embracing
Farming, Gardening, Fruit-raising, &c.--:Our
labors in this department for over thirty years
have met the cordial approbation of the public.
Our purpose has been to furnish useful and
reliable information upon these very important
branches of industry, and to protect them as
far as within our power against the false doc
trines and selfish purposes of the many em
pires and sensation adventurers by which the
Farmer is incessantly assailed. This portion
of the Germantown Telegraph is alone worth
the Whole price of subscription.
News Department.—The same industry,
care, and discrimination, in gathering and pre
paring the stirring events of the day, expressly
for this paper, which hitherto had been one of
its marked features and given so universal sat
isfaction, will be continued With redoubled
efforts to meet the increasing demands of the
public.
TERMS.—Two dollars and fifty cents per
annum. No orders received without the cash
and all subscriptions stopped at the end of the
time paid for. specimen numbers sent gratis.
A ddresr, PHILIP R. FREAS,
Editor and Proprietor, Germantown, Pa.
PHOTOGRAPHIC
0
E...k 1.1. T. ANTHONY & CO.,
Manufacturers of Photographic Alateriols,
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL,
501 BROADWAY, N. Y
In addition to our main business of PHOTO
GRAPHIC MATERIALS we are Headquar
ters for the following, vlz.
STEREOSCOPES ef STEREOSCOPIC
VIEWS
Of American and Foreign cities and land
scapes, Groups, Statuary, etc.
STEREOSCOPIC VIEWS OF THE WAR,
From negatives made in the various cam
paigns and forming a complete Photographic
history of the peat contest.
STEREOSCOPIC VIER S ON GLASS,
Adapted for either the Magic Lantern or the
Stereoscope. Our catalogue will be sent to
any address on receipt of stamp.
PHOTOGRAPHIC ALBUMS.
We manufacture more largely then any
other house, about 200 varieties from 50 cents
to $5O each, Our ALBUMS have the reputa
tion of being supeiiot in beauty and durabili
ty to any others.
CARD PHOTOGRAPHS OF GENERALS,
STATESMEN, ACTORS, etc.,'etc.
Our Catalogue embraces over FIV E THOU
SAND different subjects, including reproduc
tions of the most celebrated Engravings,
Paintings, Statues;ete. Catalogues sent on
receipt of stamp.
Photographers and others ordering goods C.
0. D., will please remit 25 per cent. of the
amount with their order.
Ek The price and quality of our goods can
not fail to satisfy.
June 16, 1866.-IY.
First National-Bank of Marietta.
HIS BANKING ASSOCIATION
T
RAVING COMPLETED ITS ORGANIZATION
is now prepared to transact all , kiinis of
BANKING BUSINESS: •
The Board of Directors meet , weekly, on
"Wednesday, 'for discount and other business.
11:17 - Bank Hours
JOHN HOLLINGER, Passznarrr.
AMOS BOWMAN, Cashier.
4 Opposite the Buttonwood Tree.
HERTZLER & GUION,
[ SUCCESSORS TO JOHN HERTZLER,
IMPORTERS AND DEALERS IN WINES AND
No. 821 _Market Street,
PHILADELPHIA.
ElM=il
_Mishler's Serb Bitters for sale
aliVtgrittaut Vtnnsgibania goornat for tt fame girth.
MARIETTA, PA., SATURDAY, DUMBER 22, 1866.
PUBLISHED WEEKLY,
AT ONE DOLLAR AND A HALF A YEAR,
PAYABLE IN ADVANCE
O f fice in " LINDSAY'S BITILDING;' second
floor, on Elbow Lane, between the. Post
Office Corner and Front• St., Marietta,
Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.
ADVERTISING RATES: One square (10
lines, or less) 75 cents for the first insertion and
One Dollar and-a-half for 3 insertions. Pro
fessional and Business car ds, of six lines or less
at 835 per annum. Notices in the reading col
umns; ten cents a-line. Marriages and Deaths,
the simple announcement, FREE ; but for any
additional lines, ten cents a line.
A liberal deduction made to yearly a nd half
yearly advertisers.
Having just added a " NEWBURY MOUN
TAIN JOBBER Paass," together with a large
assortment, of new Job and Card type, Cuts,
Borders &c. &c., to the Job Office of " THE
blAnrrrrx.ax,” which will insure the file and
speedy execution of all kinds of Jon & CARD
P n x NTING, from the BmaileBt Card to the
LARGEST Posrtn, at reasonable prices.
The following production, in its peen.
liar line, can hardly be improved upon.
Why the King's English should be SD
miserably bungled in talking to a baby.,
is a question unanswerable to all save
mothers themselves. We opine that
the production referred to is descriptive
of the home scene that takes place when
the mother's work is overcome by the
artless cunning of the "darling sweet,"
and she snatches it rapturously from
among its playthings on the floor, to
kiss and talk to it. Here it is :
Where's ze baby, bess it's 'art,
Muzzer's little darling boy,
Tum and time into its tart,
Suck its little sugar toy.
No we'll take it ridy, widy, --
Dearest, precious, birdy, honey,
4a won't let it slidy idy,
Cause 'twould hurt her little sonny
Oh, you pitty sugar plummy,
Dues it want its story talky ?
So it salt, you ducky tummy,
Let its muzzy see it walky.
My l what ails its sweetest manly,
Mammy faid its going to ky,
Oney see its ippeys ponty,
Hashey, darley, rocky bye.
Does the cabbage mammy eaty
Make its little tummy ache ?
Is its eyes so sleepy,
Hickup keep it wide awake ?
Does it want to see its daddy?
So it sail in a little while.
See it trow its tinny paddy,
What does ail ze blessed chile I
Ugh ! you naughty pin, go away
Hinkley, deary, go to sleep,
Mammy by her baby stay,
Uggy flee from baby keep.
STICK TO YOUR BUSINBSS.-0110 great
principle for success in business is learn
ing a trade well and sticking to it. It
requires a long time to know everything
connected with successful business. An
acquaintance, seed dealer, stated that
the first five years he could not aszer
tain that he made anything ; but he was
learning. Before ten years he was
clearing five thousand dollars a year.
Another was doing well in manufactur
ing ropes ; but he was unstable in his
mind, and although his friends advised
him to " hang to the ropes," he was not
getting rich fast enough, but he meddled
with business he had not learned suffi
ciently, bought a mill,bought grain, and
then broke a bank by his large failure.
While the rebel Gen. Johnson
was marching with his men to Brietoe
Station, in the fall of 1863, he perceived
one of his men up a persimmon tree, and
called ont te him : " I say there, what
are you doing up there? Why ain't you
with your regiment ?" " getting
'simmons, I am," said the soldier. "Per
simmons, thunder ! They are not ripe
yet. They are not fit to eat." "Yes,
but General," persisted the Confed, " I
am trying to draw my stomach up to
suit the size of my rations. If it stays
as it is now I shall starve." The Gen
eral had nothing further to say, but rode
'From pollyticians who pray, and
from saints who tipple, from rya coffee,
red herring, and all grass widders, good
Lord deliver us.
oir When a young lady promisee her
hand t 3 her lover on a bright night, she
may be said to have made "a star en
gagement."
gar We , may joke when we pleise. if
We are careful to please when we joke.
GE): A',01:7101i.
BABY TALK,
From the Lady's Friend for December
Mrs. Brent's Christmas.
BY BELLA F. BURTON,
It was the day, before Christmas, Mrs.
Brent stood 'at the wihdow, drearily
watching the snow fall, as though neith
er summer's sunshine nor winter's snow
could ever have charms for her. A
great sorrow bad come to this pale, sad
eyed woman, and changed the glad
summers of her life to dreariest winter.
Last Christmas Eve how happy and
busy she had been. How impossible it
seemed to keep certain articles from
prying eyes and little meddlesome fin
gers till the proper time for displaying
them arrived I How little arms went
round papa's neck, and red lips whis
pered close to his ears,that he must
" teep it se'tret, bat mamma had some
slippers hided away-for him, 'y'ristmas,"
aud that Santa .K.'486 was goilia!Vii:
bring her a dolly, 'cause she saw it in
the clothes p'ees."
Mrs. Brent thought of these things
with an agony words cannot express, for
the little pet was done with all earthly
things. Months before, when the Oc
tober leaves were piling the ground with
gold and crimson heaps, she had closed
he eyes and gone to keep her next
Christmas in heaven. There was none
left. She was the one pet lamb of the
fold, this little three-years-old girl that
they had made their idol. Oh, if any
who . reads this are mothers who love
their little ones with too tender, too all
absOrbing a love—think of it in time;
set them not up in your hearts before
Him who gave them to you, for the time
may come when you will waken to the
fact that yon'r idol was only clay ; beau
tiful clay, and dear`as the cast that
held the gem so dear to you—but only
clay after all. And you oomb out the
fair hair for the last time; how often
you have wished you could keep it
smooth a moment. Poor mother, you
can keep it smooth now ; the little rest
less head is forever still. Close the
dear.eyes whose glance will never make
you glad again ; fold the little waxen
hands that will never " bother " you
any more in all time to come. Close
the coffin lid, mother, lay your baby in
the churchyard, that never seemed so
far away and cold as now. Go back to
the deserted house that will never be
" home " to you again ; take up your.
" burden of life again." Yon will see
happy mothers from time to time who
have missed no lamb from their fold—
you will hear little voices cry " mother"
just as she used, whose lips are now s.o
white and mute in death. All this will
be too much for you sometimes, and you
will cry out in your agony, but you will
have learned a lesson—that it is not
well to make yourself idols when He has
said, " Thou shalt have no other gods
before me."
Mrs. Brent had been alone all the
morning. All of her preparations for
the morrow were complete. Her hus•
band was a minister, and she had pre
pared many gifts for his poor parishion
ers. As she stood by the window in
her bonnet and cloak, a brisk battle was
going on in her breast, between duty
and inclination. Inclination whispered.
"Stay at home ; go up to the nursery
and look over baby's playthings—the
things you gave her last Christmas,
There is no little stocking to fill to
night. You need not go out." Duty
said, "Go out and distribute you gifts.
.You will then meet your husband with a
bright face instead of eyes swollen with
weeping. Go."
Duty had almost prevailed ; she
moved a step forward, but the patter of
little feet in the ball arrested her. She
listened with bated breath.; little bung
ling hands turned the knob—how natur
al it sounded—a little head peeped in,
curly and golden, bat matted and un
kempt; the little hand that held the
knob was purple with cold. She ad
vanced unhesitatingly into the room.
"Is this heaven ? Is my mamma here ?"
dire. Brent took one little hand in
hers. "Are you loet r little one ? How
came so small a child as you oat alone
on such a day ?"
"No, I'm not lost; I live in that
street where the high steps go up. Ole
Moll sent me out to beg and I ran up
the steps and thought maybe they went
up to heaven. My mamma is there ?"
Mrs. Brent thought of little idle gar
ments up stairs, of the pairs of idle
shoes and stockings, as - she looked at
the numb little feet, but. her heart re
belled. "No, no,'!_she' , ..thought, "my
darling's clotbes I cannot give them
sway,"
She took the child to-the kitchen_and
bade Bridget warm her and give her
something to eat, then wended her way
ap stairs. Going into her own room,
she took off her cloak and
.bonnet, then
went into the nursery. There had been
a fire there that morning and the room
was warm, and had the appearance of
being used everyday. There was a - lit
tle chair with a large doll in it, a Noah's
ark with part of the animals set up in
procession; altogether the room looked
as if the little occupant had gone out
for an airing instead of lying cold and
coffined under the winter snow.
Mrs. Brent took one little garment
after another. There were the little
house dresses, bright colored and warm,
with the pockets full of little trinkets
just as she had left them—then dresses
of softer fabric and daintier make. She
took them oat with tender, caressing
touch, the soft little stockings and dainty
little shoes, and with the thought of
how busy and tireless the little feet that
wore them used to be, how cold and sil
ent Row„she bowed her head with an
agunized prayer for help in this terrible
trial. Peace came after a while and
with her Sleep ;• and as she slept, she
dreamed she saw her darling, beautiful
beyond expression, in her heavenly hap
piuees. Her heart stood still as the
bright vision approached. The words
came to her clearly, "Take in the little
wanderer in Allie's place, love her as
you loved me, keep her for your own."
The voice, the glow, the form faded, and
Mrs. Brent awoke to a new resolution.
It was only a dream but it taught her a
lesson.
She had bpii;n selfish is her sorrow,
never thinking that while applying balm
to the wounds of others she could heal,
in a great measure her own. She gave
up and selected a suit of the clothes and
carried them down stairs. Opening the
kitchen door _she found the little girl
asleep on two chairs, with pillows
brought from Bridget's own bed. Brid
get herself sat before the fire with her
face buried in her apron, sobbing.
"Why, Bridget!" was Mrs. Brent's
amazed ejaculation, "what is the mat
ter ?"
"Oh, ma'am, she's so like—so like—
look at her, -ma'am."
Mrs. Brent did look. Bridget had
washed the falr little face and combed
out the golden hair, but her hands, all
unused to such work were too clumsy
to, curl it, and it had' gathered itself up
into little irregular curls around the
white temples. Ah, she was " like r
" Bridget go up stairs and build a
good fire in my room, and leave the
nursery door open, and air the blankets
on poor little Allie's bed."
"What ever's come over the minus.
She spoke so cheery, like ; and it's the
first time I've been allowed to go anigh
the nursery."
Something had " come over the mie
ns," She took up the little waif, wash
ed and dressed her without waking her,
" Poor little lamb, she is so tired 1"
then she carried her up stairs herself
and laid her on Allie's little crib. Then
she gathered up the playthings and put
them away, closed the door and went
softly down stairs.
When Mr. Brent came home that
evening, the little parlor was bright
with fire and lamplight. • Bridget was
singing in a high quavering key, in the
kitchen, and Mrs. Brent sat by the fire
filling a little stocking with toys and
sweetmeats.
"Annie, this is wrong—it is sinful to
indulge—"
"No, it isn't wrong; you shall see why.
Come up stairs."
So they kept the little wanderer, and
years afterwards, when the old house
rang with merry childish voices, Mrs.
Brent found in this sweet elder daugh
ter an invaluable assistant in her house
hold cares.
ger A. Raymond, a New Hampshire
correspondent of the Rural New Yorker
gives the following recipe, for ‘saltlng.
butter : Take two quarts of good salt,
one ounce of sugar and one ounce of
saltpetre. Use one ounce of the-com
position for one pound of butter. It
should be stamped and left to cool be
fore putting in jars. Rutter prepared
in this way should not be used for two
or three weeks. You will find that
your butter will be very fine, as it will
have no brittle or salty look or taste.
By following_this course your butter
will Irepp the year through, in warm as
well: as cold weather,
Gip Lord Duudreary has expressed
himself favorable to marriage with a
deceased wife's sister on this
. grounii:
" economical, because when a •fel
lowmarries hie deceased -wife's sister,
halm only one mothevin law."
VOL. XIII.--NO. 20.
STtTPP FOR SMILES
Wiggins was one day with a friend,
when he observed a poor dog that had
been killed, lying in the gutter. Wig
gins paused—gazing intently at the.
dead animal, and at last said Here
is another shipwreck." "Shipwreck
where r "There's a bark that's lost
forever." His companion growled and
passed on.
A great Methodist orator in Dublin
once attempted to preach from the test,
" Remember Lot's wife," and made a
failure. Afterwards remarking to Dr.
Bond that he did not know the reason of
his failure, the venerable doctor replied
that "he had better hereafter let other
people's wives alone."
A Boston Judge recently refused to
divorce a husband and wife, whose com
plaints of ill temper and incompatibility
were mutual, on the ground that it would
never answer to allow such uncomfort-
able persons a chance to get others into
such a scrape as marrying them would
involve.
A wee bit of a boy having been slight
ly chastised by his mother, sat very
quietly in his chair for some time after
ward, no doubt thinking very profoundly.
At last he spoke out thus : " Muzzer, I
wish pa'd get another housekeeper—l'm
getting tired o' seein' you around."
Alexander Dumas, the elder, return
ing from a day's sport at the country•
seat of a friend with a perfectly empty
game bag, was asked : " Well, Dumas,
what have you killed ?" "Time," was
the quiet reply.
A pretty girl says : " If our Maker
thought it wrong for Adam to live single
when there was not a woman on the
earth, how criminally guilty are the old
bachelors, with the world fully of pretty
zirlst."
A lady, writing on the subject, says :
"When men break their hearts, it is the
same as when a lobster breaks one of his
claws—another sprouting immediately
and growing in its place."
A smart young lawyer's clerk, hearing
it stated by a lecturer that "man is
merely a machine," remarked, " I sup
pose an attorney may be a Suing ma •
chine."
The crier of a court in Ireland en
deavored to suppress the crowd by ex
claiming : "All ye blackguazde what
isn't lawyers, lave the coort."
Why is a "tilting skirt" like a slaugh
ter pen ? Because lean and fat calves
are seen in them.
Young ladies should set good exam
ples, for the young men are always fol
lowing-them.
Bemis° a Con pistol has six barrels
can it be told exactly how many barrels
a horse pistol should have ?
Why is John Smith like a badly cook
ed buckwheat cake ? Because he isn't
Brown.
When is the beet time to read the
book of nature? When autumn turns
the leaves.
Sr A little four year old girl went
with her aunt to a revival meeting.
The preacher was very earnest in his
delivery, and she was very much inter
ested. " Mother," said she, when she
came home, "
.I have heard such a smart
minister—he stamped and pounded and
made such a noise I and by-and•by he
got so mad he came out of the pulpit and
shook his fists at the folks, and there
wasn't anybody dared to go up and.%'ght
him !"
sir A man was saying in company
that he had seen a juggler place a lad
der, in open giound, upon one end, and
mounted it by passing through the
rounds and stand upon the top erect,
Another, who was present, said he had
no doubt of it, as he had eeen a man who
had done the same thing, but with this
addition, that when he arrived at the
top he pulled the ladder after him.
'Or A fellow coming out of a tavern
one frosty morning, rather top heavy,
fell on the door step; trying to regain
his footing, he remarked : "If it be
true that the wicked stand on slippery
ground, I must belong to a different
class, for it's more than I can do,"
er We have all heard of asking for
bread and receiving a stone, but the
young gentleman may be considered
still worse treated when he asked for a
young lady's. hand and received her
father's boot. - •
Sir "Do you like codfish balls, Mr
Wiggins 4"
Mr. Wiggins, hesitating—" I really
don't know; Mice ; I don't recollect ever
hiving attended one."