FRED'K L. BAKER.
13RIVTON & MUSSER'S i t
fRM LY DRUG STORE.
.Market Stre,t, Marietta, Pa.
- -
13BITToNiti Mr.ESEII, successors to Dr. F.
, e , will eonuoUe the business at the old
it '
where they are daily receiving additions,
block, which are received from the
trouble iMporters and manufacturers.
" I
•could respectfully ask a liberal share
paironage.
re How prepared to supply the de
ie!,
ihe public with everything in their
yi trade. [heir titOCk of
fiftl2GS AND MEDICINES
,i 55,11 a Su PVILE, HAVING JUST, ARpIVED.
IA pines iquors for mediernal uses
;,.1. TMc POPIAAri PATENT MEDICINES.
all kinds, Fancy and Toilet Ar•
ever) kind, Alcoholic and Fluid
Alealuid and Rustnoida, all
i.ii: test Trusses, Abdominal Sup
port, rs,shouider Braces, Breast
Pumps, Nipple Shells and
Nursing Bottles,
A large supply of
r a, T(I.,,TH, NAIL AND CLO 1 HES BRUSHES.
p arid Pastes, Oils, Puriumery,
Bair Dyes, Invigorators, Sze. ;
i,r.i.l.kiiips,rhades. Chimneys, W-ick,stc,
:upplied st reasons le rates.
P.eseripti ,ns cart fully and sc•
all hours of the day and
t, rles H. Britton, Pharmaceutist,
s , , , .0 especial attention to this branch
. having had over tin years
s ieuce 111 the drug business con
. ,tistaiitee entire satistaction to all
, ..rniize the new firm.
of School Books, Stationary,
ic.. always un hand.
r,UNDAY Hull RS:
..11!:, 10.11 /11 ,—I2 to 2, and 5 to 6 p. m.
ifriffiPi. A. 1u
o:tuDer 20, 18q6. 11-tf
PHOTOC+RAPHIC
It. T. ANTtioNv & co.,
.‘.:4 , ,jarturerß of Photographic. Materials,
tulip, ESAU: Al4l RETAIL,
n'l NW A 1) W AY, N. Y.
n to our Main business of PHOTO
ATERI ALS we are Headquar
following, viz.
ERELveoP EN 8; STEREOSCOPIC
V .1: S
lm r^an p.. 1 Foreign cities and Land
s, Statuary. ete.
‘.,. EON , OPIC VIE WS' OF THE WAR,
xtive. loads in the various cam
Photograptic
• a.zieht coutest.
f',J,copic 1 ,- .[Ens (".V GLASS
:lother the , lag Le Lantern or the
,c. Our estalo. no will be oilit to
:I,tt , ‘ , ri receipt of stamp.
I'HoiNGU iPtitC ALBUMS.
It ore largely than any
üb.ut 200 varieties from 50 cents
Our A Ltili MS have the reputa
r supeijut in beauty and. duiabili
lopt,
• Nlt - crir;FiANIS OF GENERALS,
47 ACTORS, e c etc.
. ,forr a c e s over PINE THOU
'e,;II subjects ine , thru.g reproduc
• ; 1110 t ceieterhted Etignivings.
.• ‘•• :OW'S, etc. Untalogue3 scut on
s'
rs and others ordiring goods C.
I please remit 25 per cent. of the
their miler.
r, ;me° quality of our goods eau
,
iNES LiQuoas.
411. D. 13 1.1 'JA MIN,
DEAI EH IN
\V N & _LIQUORS,
, :zer of Front-st., and Elbow Lane,
MA liIETTA, PA.
AGS leave to inform the public that lit
ikl , cuiltirtue the WINE Sr. LIQUOR bug.
al: Ito branches. He will coustantl)
.i; all kinds of
tirliPS, Wines, Gins. Irish and Scotch
Wl4l.,key, ('erdials. Bitters, to..
I3ENJAM IN'S
Alt'y Celebrated Rose Whisky,
ALWAYS ON HAND.
A very anterior OLD RYE WHISKEY.
reepwed, which is warranted pure.
D. B. now asks of the pubic .
.c , ir4.ful examination of his stock and pri
t` a'ldeti will, he is confident, result in Ho.
-“.,per b ono others finding it to their ad
to make their purchases from him.
BEST Or THE MONTHLIES- 1
LADY'S FRlEND—devoted to FA.SW.
'N ah.l LIT I.; It URE. Beautiful Steel
L'''.l,o. SPLENDID DOUBLE-SUED .COL-
I billoS PLATES. The Latest patterns
Ci 041.8, Bonnets, Einbroidcry, &c.,
receipts, Music, &c. Wheeler &
:IQ:1:C, sewing Machines given as premiums.
Cents fora sample copy to DEACON
"L E fEitmili, 319 Walnut-st., Philadelphia
OIL J. Z. HOFFER,
DkNTIST,
T BALTIIroRE COLLEDE
OF DI.:NTAL SURGERY,
',VIT. OF FIARRISBIII tt I.
)FP I ck:—Frout street, next door to R
o ,Y , litoroe' Drug Store, between Looms
liiinut streets. Columbia.
O A• WSI. B. FAHNKSTOCK;
NEA aI.Y OPPOSITE
gpaogler ec Pattereon'e Store.
Orr FROM 7 TO' 8 A. M•
OFFICE HOURS. 1 TO 2.
" 6To 7 tr. et.
ANIEL G. BAKER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
LANCASTER. PA.
1 4,1 h.„
24 NORTH DUPE STREE T
11
e the Court House, where he at.
the in
practice of hie professionall Its
44cno branches.
isle of LANDIS is the sole agent forthe
MISH LAWS BITTRICS, in the
°u gh 0 1 Marietta. For sale at the _
LDEN MORTAR
OGAL HODS, Coal Selves Coal Shovels
Ik
kers, Stove Grates, Cylinders -andli
glof thllereat kinds, kept on hand at
JOHN SPANGLER'S.
(1,9v8 ceienrated Pearl Cement APO
cal Peale Illagking at
" TUE GOLDAN - MOM& -
.•4J.t.......-.1 .- .11 - .1:.ar . i...f.i...ait . ..
PUBLISHED WEEKLY,
AT ONE DOLLAR AND A HALF A YEAR,
PA YABLE IN ADVANCE
Office in LINDSAY'S BUILDING," second
floor, on Elbow Lane, between the Pos ,
Oijic, Corner and Front-St., Marietta
Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.
Arivramrszsa RATES: One squ ire (10
lines, or leas) 75 cents for the first insertion and
One Dollar and-a-half for 3 insertions. Pro
fessional and BuSincss caids,uf six !ince or less
at $5 per alinum. Notices in the reading col
umns, ten cents a-line. Marriages and Deaths,
the simple announcement, FREE ; but lor any
additional lines, ten cents a line.
A liberal deduction made to yearly e nd hal
yearly
, advertisers.
Having just added a " NEW BURY MOUN
TAIN JOBBER PRESS," together with a large
assortment of new Job and Card type, Cuts,
Borders, &c., &c., to the Job Office of " Tur E
MARiETTIAN," which will insure the t ue and
speedy execution of all kinds of JOB tk CARD
PRINTING, from the smallest Card to the
LARGEST POSTER, at reasonable prices
On the death of our schoolmate,' How
ard Sul(zbach who died, October
11th. 1866.
Once more the,angel of death has
And entered our happv band ;
_lnd Howard haegorke from, our number home
We trust to that better land.
We - :little dreamed wh e n two weeks ago,
As he stood up here to speak,
That so 80011 the stamp atioata would be
Upon, that rosy cheek.
Yes, Howard is gone, no more we'll see
That bright and happy smile,
Which wreathed around his lips, while he
Hie playtime hours beguiled. , .
Dear schoolmates, let us trust in God,
Who has taken Howard home;
And say with faithful, earnest heaqs,
Thy will—not 011 Id—be done. i. E. a
A Traveler's Experience of Woman
I have otmetved, among all nations,
that the women ornament themselves
more than the men ; that wherever
found they are the same kind, civil, oblig
ing humane, tender beings ; that they
are ever inclined to be gay and cheerful
timorous and modest. They do not
hesitate like men, to perform a hospita
ble.action ; not haughty, nor arrogant,
nor superciltous, but full of courtesy,
fund of society ; itiduitrious, economical,
ingenious ; more liable in general to err
than man, but in general also more vir
tuous, tind performing more good actions
than be. I never
e addressed myself in
the language of decency and friendship
to a woman, whether civilized or savage
without receiving a decent and friendly
answer. With a man it has been othe:r
wise. In wandering over the barren
plains of inhospitable Denmark, through
honest Sweden, frozen Lapland, rude
and churlish Fluland, unprincipled .Rus
sia, and the wide spread regieus of the
wandering Tartar, if hungry, dry, cold,
wet or sick, woman has ever been friend
ly to me, and uniformly so ; and to add
to this virtue, so worthy of the appella.
I tkon of benevolence, these actions have
been performed in so free and so kind a
manner, that, tf I was dry, I drank the
sweetest draught, and if hungry, ate the
coarsest morsel with a double relish.
CAUSES of SUDDEN DEATH.—Very few
of the sudden deaths said to arise from
`heart diseases really arise from that
collie. TO ascertain the origin of sud
den deitths, an experiment was tried in
Europe, _•and reported to a scientific
congress held in Strasburg. Sixty-six
cases of sudden death were made the
subject of a thorough post.MOrtem ex
aniination ;in these cases only - two were
found who , died from heart disease.
Nine of sixty six died from apoplexy,
forty-six cases of congestion of the lungs
—that is, the longs were so full of blood
they could not work, for want of-suffi
cient air -to support life. The causes
that produce congestion of the lungs are
—cold feet, tight clothing, costive bow
els, sitting still until chilled after being
warmed by labor or a rapid walk, going
too suddenly from a close heated . .roam
into the cold air,.especially after speak
ing, and sudden depressing news epees
ting upon-the blood. These causes •of
sudden death being known, an avOidance
of' them may serve to lengthen many
valuable lives, which would otherN i jse be
lost, under the verdict, heart Complaint.
That disease is supposed to be inevitable
and incurable; hence . many may not take
the pains they would to avoid sudden
dee.th,did they.keow it lay in their pow-
"The eoitor of a newspapar.paya -that
,he , natrer dottad,an' but once in : his
life,and.that man 4n a figba .stabs too
" • -
I,tt ar6tptithut VonsDitrania * . itrnal for te :tome (firth.
MARIETTA,• PA., SATURDAY, OCTOBER 27, 1866.
The Destruction Caused by Alcohol.
On Sunday, the 14th of aatober, at 4
o'clock in the morning, a fire broke out
in the city of Quebec, which raged till
5 o'clock in the afternoon, burning ten
thousand five hundred houses and ren
dering homeless eighteen thousand per
sons. This is a terrible calamity con
sidered simply as the destruction of so
much property, and necessitating so
much inconvenience, in family life. But
there are things beeides property and
inconvenience, valuable in other ways
than in a money value. Home is a sa
cred •place ; houses you can rebuild when
they are burnt. but there associations
connected with homes which can never
be rebuilded. Doubtless many at that
fire as they saw the flames.consuming
their homes felt that in the burning up
of them there perished many associations
many relics, many nameless little tokens,
not valuable to any one, nor having any
money value at all, bat having _ a love
value, having an interest for the heart
the, loss of which nothing could compen
sate for. Then, too, how many hopes
died in that tire. No one knows but
the poor man himself, how he has toiled
for a house, how he has longed to have
a place which be could call his own.
lie has paid fur it by saving the earnings
of years. He expects that he will have
it fur life. At once it is swept from
him. His cherished expectations are
wiped, out in an hour. No longer has
he his own house and home. Once
again he is under the will of another tor
a shelter for the heads of his dear ones
and himself. 'We can easily state how
many houses have been nurnt, and how
many persons homeless ; but no one can
qate .how many, happy, holy associations
ave been destroyed, how many expec
tations blasted, how many anxieties en•
gendered. These are as truly a part, of
the calamity as the loss - of the property,
and no estimate of the occurrence is
complete which does not take in one as
well as the other, which does not gage
the misery caused to human hearts as
well as number the buildings destroyed.
This great calamity was caused by al
cohol. The fire broke out in a groggery.
On Saturday night a number of low char
acters had• congregated there, keeping
up a drunken Carousal till far in the
morning. The fire broke out in the
bar room, the games being first seen
issuing from the bar room door.
Now the fact that this awful destruc
tion broke out in a ber room, the fact
that liquor was at the bottom of it all,
fails to excite in most persons' that in
dignation which would be excited if any
other cause were known to have pro
duced this fire.
Let us suppose some one to hive de
liberately done this destruction; sup
pose him to have taken months, even
years, to study how to burn down the
city, to have laid up all the incendiary
materials, andon favorable occasions to
have distributed them so that the fire
would be helped, on from point to point,
let us suppose him to exult in the rain
his work would do, in the anxiety it
would cause ; then let us suppose him to . ,
have succeeded, and at the close of the
catastrophe let us suppose him to be de
tected, and held up to the presence of I
all whom he had injured. How would
they regard him ? Would they allow him
to live among them ? Would they al
low
him to live at all ? And yet liquor
has •done this. Liquor has burnt down
a,great part of this city. If liquor did
not plan to do the work it did it without
any concern whatever. What do tav
erns care for property or life ? Are they
not quick-sands which swallow up every
thing? Yet taverns will be tolerated
in that very city. When it is built up
again, taverns also will be built, and al
though groggeries may burn down 2500
houses, if any one were to burn down
one tavern he would be imprisoned for
years. The truth is there is too much
liberty for wrong, and not enough for
right, if groggeries may burn down
cities, one may well ask why should
groggeries, be tolerated ? It is time to
start the sentiment that groggeries have
no right which any one is boupd to re
spect. That which destroys should be
destroyed. Let it be remembered that
it was a bar room whicki.destroyed
_2500
bowies and rendered homeless 18,000
persons. 'SOBRIETY.
a".Ailemus Ward says there are no
doily papers published in his town, but
there-ie. o ladies'- sewing circle, which
answers the same purpose.
ifir . "A traveller" wishes as to ex
plain what sense , there , is host°Uow-in the
terms mrsilroadseeurcties," 10444 , 660 t
iv. se security ots *sty cif4,lh4v railroads,
Love on the Brain.
The sprightly " local " of the Atlanta
( Ga.,) Fix thus discourses on this sub
ject. We omit the exordium and pero
ration, and give only the`body of the
dissertation t . •
Ordinarily, the patient, white labor
ing under this disease, is unfit for busi
ness. There is a sort cf a will-o'-the
wisp figure actneing befoie his distorted
vision, coming between him and his
daily labor, unfitting him for a sober
computation of units and tens, and mak
ing a Balsam of him ,generally. lie
suffers a lose of 'Appetite—to the intense
gratification of his landlady. He looks
upon bacon and greens with ultra con
tempt, and wants something more ethere
al. He thinks about toe honey dew of
Ilyble, and wishes -some of -the drug
stores in town had a supply. He studies
Byron and Moore, and quotes from each
with remarkable facility. Lelia Rookh
becomes a favorite, especially a certain
portion of the fire worshippers.
The disease is confined to no particu
lar age or station. We had, au attack
of it when about fifteen. It was so se
vere that our mother wanted to giVe us
paregoric. We told hdr the pain wasn't
that low down. We recovered in course
of time. Once it broke out fully in the
shape of a certain question to a , certain
lady. She answered in a monosyllable
.of two letters. It brought. us• to our
senses: It swept the mist from our eyes
like fog before a hurricane. We hadn't
expected anything of the kind, and was
sure it had thundered. We looked for
the cloud, and Asaw a large white bird
sailing on a pond. Thought we were
much the same kind of a bird, with our
wings.clipped. A few days after we
told our chum that we didn't see any
thing in that flaunting Dorothy Diddle
to admire. And we didn't.
The disease develops most singularly
in those who are advanced in years.
Any one who has seen an old man in
love has seen Nature's harlequin. The
old dame gets up nothing more ludic
rous or more inconsistent. Every oue
feels like laughing at the poor old fel
low's infirmities. We once saw an old
man who was suffering from an attack of
it. He was well enough advanced, in
life to have half a dozen grandchildren.
We knew him, well. He was the play
mate of our illustrious grandsire, who
wasn't a quartermaster in the Revolu
tionary war. I' he had been, we would
have been better off than we are now.
We had noticed for some time a singu
larity in hia conduct. We saw him
several times with roses stuck in his
button lola. We caught him once
reading Barns' Highland' Mary. We
were out 'with him once looking at his
stock, arid we asked him which was his
favorite heifer. He said "widow 'Wilk
ine." The cat was.out. We knew what
was the matter; but when, several
months after, we saw him washing the
dishes_while the widow--that was—nurs
ed the baby, we thought he was cured
permanently.
A CHILD'S 51 EMORY.-" Well, my
child," said a stern, father to ft 'little
daughter, after church, "what do you
remember of all the preacher said ?"
"Nothing, sir," was the timid'reply.
" Nothing !" said he severely ; " now
remember, the next time you must tell
me something he says, or you .must stay
away from church." •
The next Sunday she came home r her
eyes all excitement; " I remember,some
tbing,",eaid she.
"Ah I very glad of it," replied the
father.; "what did he say
"
He said, pa," cried she, delightedly,
"a collection will now be taken up !'` A
fa Old Rev. Mr. R., was one day at
tending the funeral•of one of the mem
bers of his church when after praising
the many virtues of the deceased, he
turned, to the bereaved husband: and
said
" My beloved brother, you have been
called upon to part with one of the best
and lovelieat of wives "--
Up jumped the . sorrow stricken• hes :
band, intermpting the tearful minister
by sariowfully saying : "0, no \ l brother
8.,.n0t' the best, but abeont middling--
abeditt middling, brother B,"
6.A railway accident lately ,occorred
pained by.the axle .of a tender giying
way, detaining the treiu
_several,yours.
A lady inquired of a gentlem,an
. pausen,
ger why it was so delayed; he gravely
replied, "Madam, occasioned by
what is often folloWhil . bY,werions conse
-Apiebom—itbe•sadden breakiDg , of , s: ten
later‘attelobmant." - • • - • -
Afraid he might be Dead,
Scene—at the 'couutiug room of a
morning newspaper. Enter a man . of
Teutonic tendencie4, considerably the
worse for last night's spree.
TEUTON (to the man at'the desk)—"lf
you blease, sir, I vents de paper mit dis
`mornings. One vot bash de names of
de beebles vot kills cholera all de vile."
He was handed a paper and after
looking it over in a confused way, said :
" Pill you - pe so good ash to read de
names wot don't have de cholera any
more too soon just now, and see if Carl
Geinsenkoopenoffen hash got'em 7"
The clerk 'very obligingly read the
list, the Teuton listening with trembling
attention, wiping the perspiration from
his brow meanwhile in groat•eacitement.
When the list was completed the name
of Carl Geiusen—well, no matter zoout
the .whole name, it wasn't there. The
Teuton's face brightened up, arid he ex
claimed
Y u don't find 'em '1"
CLERK-"NO such name there, sir."
TEUTON, (seizing him warmly by the
band)—"This -ish nice—this ish some
funs; that ish my names. I pin drunk
ash never vas, and, py tam, I vas afraid
I vas gone ted mit cholera, and didn't
knows it. Mine Cot! I vas scart."
DRUNK AS TO TUB LEGS.—Robert
Wilson was before Justice Milliken, of
.13hicago,, last week, charged with intox
ication. He plead "halfguilty," stating
that he could drink a good deal and be
perfectly sensible. His head always re
mained clear, but his knees went off too
freely, and he became drunk below his
hips. The officer fonnd him on a doer
step, at an 'early hour in the morning.
Leaning back a little he was striking at
his legs, and wAs abuiing them in the
fiercest manner for ,their base and con
temptible conduct. have lived with
you for nearly thirty years. 1 have fed
and clothed-you; Thavegot you good
and nice pantaloons and comfortable
drawers. And now, •at-this hour of ~.the
nigiit, when it is wet, and I want you to
go home; you go back on me, and leave
me in this place. Now, aren't you
ashamed of yourselves r --a pretty pair
that you are ?-.From this time on I'm
going to treat you differently. Iholiave
I'll begin now, confound you—you shall
have a wetting." With that he began
to take off his pantaloons, but the scan
dalized officer arrested him. He was
fined $3 and departed, Murmuring ven
geance against his eitremities.
HOW TO BECOME UNHAPPY. —ICI the
first place, if you want to be miserable,
be selfish. •Think all of the time of
your.own things. Don't care about any
body else. Have , no feeling.for.any. 0410
but yourself. Never think of enjoying
the satisfaction of seeing others happy,
but rather, if you see a smiling face, be
jealous, lest another should enjoy what
you have not: Envy all sotto are better
off in any respect than yourself, think
unkindly toward them. Be constantly
afraid lest some one should encroach
upon your rights, be watchful againstdt,
and if any one comes near you snap at
him like a mad dog. Contend earnestly
for everything that is your own, though
it be not worth a pin ; for your "rights"
are just as much concerned as it it'ivere
I a pound of gold. Never yield a point.
Be very sensitive, and take everything
that is said to you in playfulness in the
moat serious manner, J3e jealous of
your, friends, lest they should not think
enough of you ; and if at any time they
should seem to neglect you, put the
worst construction upon their cundect
you, possibly can.
An artist invited a gentleman to
criticize a portrait of a Mr. Smith, who
Was s'omewhat addicted to drink. Put
.ting his hand towards it, the artist: ex
claimed, "Don't touch it;- it is not
dry." " Then," said he, "it cannot be
like my friend Smith."
we While-a: counsellor. as pleading
at the-Irish bar, a-louse unluckily peep
ed from under his wig. Curran; who sat
next him, whispered what he saw. "You
jeke,"
,said the barrister. "If," replied
Curran, !' you have many such jokes in
your head, the sooner
,yon crack them
the better."
Q'-We once heard of a ver.y ; rich
man who-was badly injured by his be-.
Mg inn over. "It isn't the aceident,' ,
,
said he, "alit I mind ; that isn't the_
thing'; brit'the' idea of being run over
by an old swill'eirt Makes-me mad:"
tviigio.P .i4iter
W - 04418 0. 1 4 1 -Arah whololicialeAnd 14.PPAla
table but we must , not think it will con
ttikti wi4er imo ulna I)ejiii:ipte it
one, .
VOL. XIII.--NO. 12.
Lord Mansfield
This great magistrate, being in one of
the counties on the circuit, a poor wom
an was indicted for witchcraft. The in
habitants of the place were exasperated
against her. Some witnesses deposed
that they bad seen her walk in the air,
and with her feet upwards and her head
downward. Lord Mansfield heard the
evidence with great tranquility, and
perceiving the temper .of the people,
whom it would not have been prudent
to irritate, he thus addressed them :—"I
do not doubt that this woman has walk
ed in the air. and with her feet upwards
since you have all seen it ; but she has
the honor to be bore in England as well
as you and I, and consequently cannot
be judged but by the laws of the country
nor punished but in proportion as he
has violated them. Now I know not
One 'law that forbids walking in the air
with the feet upward. We have all a
right to do-it with impunity ; 1 see no
reason, therefore„ for this prosecution,
and this poor woman may return hoiue
when she pleases." liar life was saved.
Sr A stury•is` told of a Western can
didate that came upon " a poor white
man," who bad a vote to give, if he did
do his own milking. The candidate,
Jones, asked him if he should hold the
cow, which seemed to be uneasy, and the
old man consented very readily, he took
her by the .horns, and held fast till the
operation was done.
Flave you had Robinson ( his rival )
sound here lately ?" he asked.
"Oh, yes, he's behind the barn holding
the calf 1"
Aar ".What can a man do ?" asked a
greenAnu, when the Sheriff was seen
coming up to hiM with a writ in his
hand. "Apply the remedy." said anoth
er gruffly. rAiiply the remedy ! what
remedy?" " Heeling remedy, you silly
goose—run like a quartern horse ?"
A California editor has the au
thority of the eminen t head of the his
trionic profession, but just arrived on
the Pacific coast, for saying that the
only Sailor the World has aver known
who was not a ( emphasis) fool was
Noah'!'He had but one choice—to go
to sea or drown.
fad At a recent marriage in the min
ing district of England, the bride start
led .
the minister by making the extraor
dinary vow to take bar husband " too
'aye and too 'old from this day fortn't,
for betterer horse richerer power in
eingernesa else to love cherish and to
bay." •
er Agady whose husband bad desert
ed her, says " Alay two hundred and
forty-seven nightmares trot quarter races
over his stomach every night." . This
probably would be a relief to what he
has endured.
lir A grim old Judge, after bearing a
glowing oration from a young barrister,
advised him to pluck out the feathers
from the wings of his imagination and
stick them in the tail of his judgement.
There is a.commercial gentleman who
is unusually scrupulous in regard to hav
ing. his \ door plate polished, being de
termined to " leave an nntarcished name
behind him."
. A reverend entleman, canon of a ca
thedral, had his pocket picked. Why
was this canon like an Armstrong gun ?
Of course, because he was rifled.
" What is the plural of cent ?" inquir
ed a schoolnia.ter.
"Two ceuts," shouted the sharpest in
the class
Never purchase love or friendship by
"gifts, Mr When thus obtained they are
lost as soon as you stop payment.
A long, face is no sign of sanctity, and
the general crape on a loafer's head
does not indicate grief.
An Irish painter says that among
other portraits he has a representation
of " Death as large as life."
" Here's to internal improvement 1"
as. Dobbs , sajd i when.kie swallowed a dose
of salts.
A wood chopper ion very polite man,
for when he wants wood he goes and
axes for it
A Man who had been married twice,
to ladies Dated Catharine, advised his
friend egainek'ln4ing dupli rates
Ladies wholgiray themselvea in patent
hoopeltittittld'aing, as they dress
gentiy,o'erine (rrzEz.) stealing,"
Why .wpa a 944finpan quo hundred
P4I O I I 7 4 ,PVW ,I3 :a;S9WFII Bepe for
big head be meet haire powdey.