The Mariettian. (Marietta [Pa.]) 1861-18??, June 16, 1866, Image 1

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    FRED'K L. BAKER.
ODEY's LADY'S BOOK FOR
3.8 156 _
9, Fashion Magazine of • the Worlds!
litetatine, Pine Arts and Fashions. The
ognificent steel engravings. Double
ago-Plates. W . ood engravings on every
le that can interest Crocheo
l a t i th g, Netting, Embroidery; Articles fa
i the oilet, for the Parlor, the Boudoir, and
Os Kitchen, Everything, in fact, to make a
o pine Lndy's Book.
Me Ladies Favourite for 36 Years.
No Magazine has been able to Compete with it
None attempt it.
Godey's Receipts
fo eves): department of a household. These
done are worth the price of the book.
Model Cottages (no other Magazine gives
them,)
. with Disprams.
Drawing Lelions for the young. Another
'gaily with G
Original Mune, ode wo y.
rth $3 a year. Other
*saints publish old worn-out Music ; but
is subscribers to Godey get it before the rou
e Emu.
Gardening for Ladies. Another peculiarity
with Godey.
Fashions frorn Meson. A. T. Stewart & Co.
afSew York, the millionaire merchants,
has
Godey, the only magazine that has
them.
ledies' Bonnets. We give more of them in
egarthan any other Magazine. In fact,
the isdfa Book enables every lady to be her
011 tonoet maker.
MARION HARLAND,
Authoress of "Alone," " Hidden Path,"
ire Side,” , 4 Nemesis," and " Miriam,"
' , titer for Godey each Month, and for no oth-
E , %once. A new novel by her will be
:Plislied to 1866. We have also retained
LI old and favourite contributors.
=CM
cg?e4;'s 1.09's hook fol. 1886.
tAich there can be no deviation.)
TCc fol:owing are the terms of the Lady's
Fret is ISt:hi t—
tne copy, one year, $3,0
Tv copies, one year, 5.50
Three cows, one year, - 7,60
Pur copies, one year, 10,00
Fog copies, one year, and an extra
.T to the person getting up the club,
stile; six copies, - 14,00-
E ig ht copies, one year, and an extra
4). to the person getting up the club,
caking nine copies, 21,00
Eleven copies, one year, and an extra
to the person getting up the club,
:sting twelve copies, 27,50
XT All additions to clubs at club rates.
1" Godey's Lady's Book and Arthur's
line Magazine will be sent, each one year,
NI receipt of 41,50.
tp We have no club with any other mug
amp or newspaper.
re - The money moat all be gent at one
rose for soy of the clubs.
1.7.• Canwie dubscribers must send 24 cent
'editions! for each subscriber.
Address L. A. GODEY,
.I'. E. corner Si.rth and Chestnut Streets,
PHILADELPHIA.
Summer Arrangement of the
Reading and Colu»zbia _Railroad
pIIAINS of this road run by Reading Rail
Road time, which is ten minutes faster
Isn that of Pennsylvania Railroad.
On end after Wednesday, May 23d, 1866,
'aloe of this road will run as follows :
SnIIIIER ARRANGEMENT.
WILL LEAVE COLITYBIA AT
1511, M., and arrive at Reading 10:15 a. m.
1 , ,00 I. m. " 12:15 noon.
.
1 1'. ro., 1) "
6:55 p. m.
LEA VT. READING AT
s:ts a. m., and arrive at Columbia 9:05 a. m.
12:05seon, " 2:15 p. in.
615 p, m,, » " 8:25 p. m.
SUNDA Y TRAINS:
Leaves Columbia 7:30 a. an., and arrives at
Evading 9:40 a. In. Returning, leaves Read
-148;05 P. m. and arrives at Columbia at 8:15
P , Bl. This train makes close connection at
Reading for New York acid Philadelphia, and
r Q B Titirom Phila. LITIZ SUNDAY TRAIN
hares Reading 8:00 a. m. and arrives at Litiz
/Mk. returning, leaves Litiz 4:30 p. m.
sad arrives at Reading at 6:15 p. an.
The 815 a, m. train from Columbia makes
cleseconneetim with express trains at Read
as far New York, arriving there at 3.40 p. m•
tpd Ph iladelphia 1.00 p. m. ; also for Potts
andville the Lebanon Valley.
and Pu m
P pers leaving New York at 7.00 a. -
Philadelphia at 8.00 a. m. connect with
trimhavine Reading at 12.05 noon for Co
/smut, York, and Northern Central R. R.
Excursion ticketss old on all regular trains
1 ,0 parties of 25 or more, to and from all points.
4 PPI to Gen. Ticket Agt.
O'Through tickets to New-York, Phila
!elphia and Lancaster sold at principal eta
'el°llB, and Baggage checked through. Freight
at
With the utmost promptness and dis
!ncll,at the lowest rates. Further informa
, With regard to Freight or pe, m
41.0btained from the Agents of the assag Co mP ay
a
i. , Ere: F. GAGE, Superintendent.
,General ED Eß Freight & Ticket Sgt.
LADY'S FRIEND--
'ulnae l b l l3est of the Monthlies—devoted to
Ind Pure Lerature. $ 2 . 50 a ear 3
7: e q 3 e l $4. 00 ; t Eight (aud one gratis)
'" W HEELER & WILSON IS SEWING
atiCRINES given as premiutna. Send 15
T ,, 1513 fil r sample copy to DEACON & PE
4RSON, 319 Walnut st., Philadelphia.
D R. J. Z. HOFFER,
DENTIST,
Or E BALTIMORE
14 " OTHF DENTAL SURGERY,COLLEOE
"OR OF HARRISBURG.
0 P,Y ICE:—front street, nest door to R
04,, ? illimosi Drug Stoie, between Locust
naleet streets, Columbia.
11}INIEL G. BAKER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
LANCASTER, PA.
0 r m , ~.—oi—ro----
Zgi 4-- . o —No 24 Noun( DUKE STAEZT
o te the. Court .
Rouse, where he will at.
v . t the practice of his profeenon in all it.
°Nes branches.
........____
is-":"-------
WIC S. FAHNESTOCK,
1-P/Q:--104Altr-s:., NEARLY OPPOSITE
Spengler re Patterson's Store.
To A• it Oki 7TO 8 M.
OFPlet HOURS. F
) ,
61.071:
P. M.
4 ant Rorn .m nest fashion—eall in
it r w y i at Airs. AOTil'S Variety Store and aee
the rage now, in the tilief•
+
)tl. , '
Lll TI,
,t e a y•sy 0 ey
-, • „,%, ,I„& 4,
PUBLISHED WEEKLY,
AT ONE DOLLAR AND A HALF A YRABt
PAYABIE IN ADVANCE.
Office in " LINDSAY'S BUILDING," second
floor, on Elbow Lane, between the Post
Office arner and Front-St., Marietta.
Lancaster aunty, Pennsylvania.
ADVERTISING' RATES : One square (10
lines, or leas) 75 cents for the first insertion and
One Dollar and-a-half for 3 insertions. Pro
fessional and Business cards, of six lines mien
at 85 per annum. Notices in the reading col
umns, ten cents a-line. Marriages and Deaths,
the simple announcement, rakr. ; but for any
additiOnal lines, ten cents a line.
A liberal deduction made to yearly and half
yearly advertisers.
Having just added a " Nawatrav Moon-
TAM JOBBER PRESS," together with a large
assortment of new Job and Card type, Cuts,
Borders, &c., &c., to the Job Office of " TnE
MARIETTIAN," WhiCh Will insure the f ne and
speedy execution of all kinds of Jon & CARD
Par NTING, from the smallest Card to the
LARGEST POSTER, at reasonable prices.
I am the ,familx Cat
I can fold up my claws,
Ia my soft velvet paws,
And purr in the sun,
Till the short day is done—
For lam the family cat. '
I can doze by the house
In the vine-covered bower,
Winking and blinking
Through sunshine and shower—
For I am the family cat.
From the gooseberry bush,
Or where bright currants blush,
I may suddenly spring
For a bird on the wing,
Or dart up a tree,
If-a-hroven. nest . I see, . •
And select a choice morsel
For dinocroulea, .
And no one to blame me,
Borate me or shame me—
For I am the family cat.
In the cold winter night,
When the ground is all white,
And the icicles shine
In a long silver line,
I stay not to shiver .
In the moonbeam's pale quiver,
But curl up in the house
As snug as a mouse,
And play Jacky Horner
I the cosiest corner,
Breaking nobody's laws,
With my chin on my paws,
Asleep with one eye and awake with the
other,
For pats from the children, kind words from
the mother—
For I am the family cat.
FOR THE MARIETTIAN.
Temperance.
When the children of Israel were car
ried away captive from Judah to Baby.
lon, Nebuchadnezzar, the king, com
manded one of his chief officers to select
a few of the finest and most intelligent
young men from among the Jewish cap
tives to stand in his presence, and to
live in his palace, where they might be
taught in the language and learning of
the Chaldeans. The king also appoint
ed a certain kind of food and drink, with
which these young men were to be fed
and nourished for three years, at the
end of which they were to appear in his
presence. Among other things appoint
ed there was a certain amount of
"Wine," which the officer, having charge
of these young men, was to give to them
daily. The precise number of young
men thus selected is not given. All we
know is that among them were Daniel,
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.
But when their daily provision was set
before them, we are told that Daniel and
his three companions resolved in their
hearts that they would not defile them
selves with the portion of the king's al
lowance, nor with the wine that
.was
offered unto them ; hence they begged
of the officer that they might be ex
cused from their regular allowance, and
that among other things water should
be given to them, instead of wine. The
officer, however, was unwilling at first
to comply with this request, for he was
afraid to disobey the king's order, and
hence he said unto Daniel : " I fear my
lord, the king, who both appointed your
meat and your drink ; for why should
he see your faces worse liking than the
children which era of your sort? then
shall ye make me endanger my head to
the king." It seems that the officer was
fearful that if Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach
and Abednego would not drink the wine
appointed, they woad fall away in flesh
and lose their beauty and thus look
worse than the rest; and then should
the king inquire into the cause be would
find out that his orders were disobeyed,
and of course off would go the officer's
bead. But Daniel in order to convince
him tips there was ;to reason for snob
fear, Tilde the following proposition
" Proye tby fiery - ants, :beeeech time,
gubtpitbeut Vonstlintnia #gurnal fax te ante girth.
MARIETTA, SATURDAY MORNING, JUNE 16, 1866.
ten days ; and let diem giielus Pulse to
eats-and water to drink. Then let our .
countenances be looked' •before
thee, and the countenances of the- chil
dren that eat of the portion , of the king's
meat; and as thoti seat, 'deal thth•tby '
servants." - This propositiOn oemdd do
reasonable to the.ollicer that heiranted
the request, and we are told.: "So he
consented to them in this matter, and
proved them ten days. And at the end
of ten days their countenances appeared
fairer and fatter in flesh than all the
children which did eat the portion of the
king's meat." This of course convinced
the officer, and from that hour he gave
them "water" instead of " wine."
Mark, Daniel and his three compan
ions. .
were no " wine-bibbera " but "cold
water men." T-hsy did not believe that
"Alchohol." would contribute anything
to their strength or beauty. Therwent
in for the pure sparkling water, God's
only beverage, which is designed for all
men. -They drank water, and nothing
but water, and yet we are told they were.
"fairer and fatter in flesh" than all the
rest who drank the king's wine.
There is a great deal said about the
beneficial influences that liquor has
upon the body; but all such claims are
incompatible with the Bearchings of
Scriitture. and contrary to daily experi
ence and universal observation. Some ,
toll us that liquor is as good as food, or
that it strengthens and nourishes the
body.; but it does tto such thing, for ac
cording to the most scientific investiga
tion of medical men, it is properly
speaking no food at all, for it neither
igives strength, no; repairs waste. B.ome
tell as that it will sustain men ender
.bodily_ labors or mental—exertions, - and
enable them to endure intense heat or
severe cold ; but all such assertions are
false, for the fact is liquor has precisely
tho contrary effect, that is it wastes the
powers of body and mind, and thus dis
ables men to endure great physical ex
ertion or mental activity. Others tell
us that liquor has a tendency to make
people fair, and healthy, and rosy-cheek
ed. Bat this too is false. The fact is,
those who do not touch or taste liquor
are healthier and better looking than
those who sip and tipple at it. What
further proof of this do we need than
the narrative above in relation to Daniel
and his three companions. They did
not drink a drop of wine, or liquor, while
the rest were drinking it daily; and yet
we are distinctly told that " their coun
tenances appeared fairer and fatter in
flesh " than all the children which drank
the portion of the king's allowance.
Let .me say then in conclusion, if you
want your nose as red as fire, and your
cheeks puffed and bloated, and your
eyes blood-shot and swelled up, and your
whole body a mass of putrid flesh until
you look more like a fiend than a human
being-1 say, if you want that, then just
drink wine, and gin, and brandy, and
whiskey, and lager beer, or another pois
onous stuff you can get. But if you
want to be happy, and cheerful, and
healthy, and contented, and rosy-cheek
ed, and brtibt-eyed—then do as Daniel
and his three companions—that is leave
liquor alone and stick to the pure, cold,
sparkling water, for that is the drink
furnished by One wiser than we are.
May God help us to be "cold water"
men and women. J. STA/S . OER.
Marietta, June 12,1866.
ifir That eccentric-Methodist preach
er, Lorenzo Dow, of whom so many
anecdotes are rife in South and WEst,
was once stopping at a hotel in New
York, kept by a man named Busb.
Among the guests was a Gen. Root.
They occasionally made themselves
merry at Lorenzo's expense. One day
Gen. Root began upon him thus : "Mr.
Dow, you tell us a great deal about
heaven. Now, I want you to tell me
plainly what sort of a place heaven is."
With imperturable gravity, the preach
er replied : " Heaven, gentlemen, is a
smooth, rich; fertile country, theie isn't
a bush or a root in it, and there never
will be." The Root and Bush subsided
and Mr. DQW wasn't further troubled.
A brief young barrister says that any
lady who possesses one thousand acres
of land, presents sufficient ground for an
attachment.
Why is a stove like an old smoker ?
Pecause it cannot do without a pipe.
A man's worth consists in his virtues,
and not in his dollars and cents.
When is wheat like a blunt knife?
When it is sent'to be ground.
What• bind of braces do ladies prefer ?
Embraces..
GENERAL SHERMAN V. 9. BRIGHAM You &o.
—A few weeks ago an interesting and
characteristic correspondencetook place
between Gen. Sherman and Brigham
Young, the hend of the Mormon saints.
The General opened with the following
graph dispatch, dated April 10th:
" To BRIGHAM YOUNG—Sir : A tele
gram comes to me from responsible offi
cers that four men styled "Gentile"
have been murdered by Mormons, and
that there is an apprehension of farther
danger *this class. By Gentiles, I tin
derstand'Amet lean citizens not of your
creed, lam bound to give protection
to all citizens regardless of religions
faith, and shall do so. Those murderers
Must be punished, and if your people re
sort to measures of intimidation these
mast cease. Ail of our people must en
jpy equal rights within the limits of our
national domain. I know little or noth
ing of the cause of local trouble in Utah ;
but it is well for you to know that our
country is now full of tried and. expeiri
sauced soldiers, who would be-pleased-at
a fair opportunity to avenge any wrongs
you may commit against any of our citi
zens, even in that remote region. I will
soon'have regular troops in- Utah, and
.on the road leading there, when I hope
ire shall receive reports on which to
lase accurate opinions .; and Isend you
this message not as a threat, but -as a
caution that a sensible man should heed.
;W. T. SHERMAN,
Maj. Gen. Commanding Department
Young replies on the 12th, not in his
usual tone of defiance against all United
, Staths officers, but apparently desirous
ipfaioiding any further difficulty. He
says, no assassinations have occurred,
except the killing of Mr. Brassfield, who
went there "and seduced a Mormon's
wife," but that neither he (Young) nor
the community at large knew anything
about it. This assertion is doubtful; but
Young concludes with another doubtful
statement as follows :
"Citizens who are not of our faith do
not suffer from intimidation here. In
no other community could men pursue ,
the course many do here without expe
riencing the vengeance of a vigilance
committee. The outrageous slanders
they have circulated against us would
have provoked such an outbreak else
where. There are a few speculators'
here who are anxious to make it appear
that American citizens' lives are in dan
ger through religious fanaticism, hoping
thereby to have troops sent here to make
money out of contracts. Gentiles' lives
are as safe here as Mormons, and acts
of violence. occur more rarely in this pity
than any other of its size in any of the
new States or . Territories.
PLAYING CARDS.—Cards were invent
ed in 1391 by Jacquemin Grungenmonr,
to amuse Icing Henry VI., of France,
who at that time was mad, The ace
was made the best card in the pack,
being derived from the French word
"Argent," signifying money, and to
show that a king could not get along
without it, as a menial card backed by
the ace would triumph over a king.
The kings were called David, Alexander,
Caesar and Charlemagne; the queens
were named Argine, Rachael, Palles and
Judith ; the varlets or knaves represen
ted the squires to the kings, and were
named Launcelot, Ogier, Renard and
Hector; the tens, nines, &e., represent
ed the foot soldiers. The ace of clubs
was so named and formed to rOpresent
a clover leaf and to signify to the king
that a good general would always en
camp his army where pasturage was
plenty. The ace of spades represented
the halberts earried by the foot soldiers ;
the ace of diamonds represented the
heads of the arrows need by the cross
bowmen, and the ace of hearts " repro"-
seated the courage of the knights and
soldiers.
sr An auctioneer, not very well read
in books, especially religious books, was
recently selling a library at auction.
Scanning the titles and trusting to luck
he went ahead, however: "Here you
have Banyan's Pilgrim's Progress—how
much am I offered for it? How much
do I hear for the Pilgrim's Progress by
John Bunyan ? 'Tis a first-rate book,
gentlemen, with six superior illustra
tions ;- how; much do I hear? All about
the Pilgrim's, by John Bunyan 1 Tells
where they come from, an' where they
lauded, an' what they done after they
landed l• Here's a pict,ure of,owe of them
going about Plymouth, Willie', with a
pack on his back I" -
Wbetris a lady's neck not a lady's
peck ? When it is n little-bare bosh)
A PARDONED COPPERHEAD:—It seems
that one L. P. Milligan, one of Yellen
digham's Sons of Liberty, who was sen
tenced to imprisonment for life for treas
onable practices durieg the -war, and
recently pardoned, has received a wel
come from some men of like minds with
himself, at °redline, in Ohio ; and read
a written speech, of which the following
passage is reporteff:
_ -"Among the greatest sinners against
God's righteous will were Lincoln,
Brough and Morton, and though he was
not prone to believe in special provi
deuces, their fate was otherwise unac
countable. One had been summoned- to
the bar of retributive justice with his
sine unrepented of. Another, covered
all over with the mildew of debauchery,
and wrapped in exhalations from which
buzzards would turn their offended nos
es, carried to the grave the impress of
infamy, while there yet remains one of
the Godless trio •, but the plague is on
its westward march, his limbs are smote
with the blood of crime, and tremble
under their load of corruption. Still
he prayed that the Governor might live
long enough to realize in this world, ra
ther than in the next, that God is just.
He renewed hie adhesion to the Demo
cratic party, and exhorted his hearers
to maintain the organization of the par
ty,, though cowardly men may have
shrunk from the boldness of its truth,
and attempted to corrupt its ritual and
constitution."
We suppose this fellow was pardoned
by President JoWien on the plea of in
sanity or, was it, because such men as
this Milligan and Vallawdigham must
inevitably rain their,party, if they are
only kept out of jail ?—New York Post.
A STRANGE STORY FROM ORIO.—A
most curious instance of Conflicting tee
timoney in the case of murder recently
occurred in Ohio. On March-24th, one
Ira B. Wheeler, of North Pepin, in that
State, suddenly disappeared,_and it was
generally supposed that he had been
accidentally drowned in the waters of
the Chippewa. A few days ago; howev
er, his body was found near the place
where the accident is supposed to have
occurred, the head marked by a deep
gash across the scalp, and a severe
wound over the left eye.
Suspicion at once rested on James
Carter, who had originally made the
statement that Wheeler broke through
the ice and so died. The whole village
was excited. Carter was subjected to a
sharp inquisition, when most unexpect
edly the wife of Wheeler and the accus
ed man both confessed to the crime, each
charging the other with dealing the fatal
blow. The Durand (Ohio) Times says
The wife's story is, that Wheeler and
Carter, getting into an altercation about
going to a neighbor's to play a game of
whist, Carter dared Wheeler out of
doors to fight; whereupon the latter fol
lowed Carter out, when Carter struck
him over the head with a gun barrel,
which brought him:to the ground, imme
diately causing his death.
Carter, on the other hand, asserts that .
Wheeler was driving tacks into his boots
when his wife happening to pass by upset
the paper of tacks upon the floor. A
scuffle ensued, at first in play, afterwards
in anger. Mrs. Wheeler finally snatch
ed up a hatchet, and struck her husband
a blow on the head, which felled him to
the floor. Carter had been a bystander
in the struggle, and now came forward,
told the wife not to be alarmed, and pro
ceeded to carry the corpse to the river,
and thrust it through the ice. Be then
invented an explanation of his d isappear
ann.
B. Youso.
How fragrant the air is with the
perfumes from a thousand exotic plants,
and all nature seems clad in her holiday
attire. Yet misery is still in our midst.
The roses may bloom, and nature put
on her garlands of leakind bud and flow
er. But man will nevertheless suffer—
Dyspepsia, the sure forerunner of death,
and the companion of a miserable life,
claims him as a subject. Do not wait
then, dear reader, till its ravages lay you
low in death, for nature has likewise
found an antidote—compounded of her
roots and barks—and prepared Coe's
Dyspepsia Cure. It will immediately
cure the worst cases of Dyspepsia in
existence. The'proprietors warrant it
in every case.
A imbed be gentleman, the other day,
called at the post office and displayed
his ignorance of natural history or the
French language, or both, by requesting
to be supplied with a stamped antelope.
Wby doee a railway clerk cp.t.a. bole
irryour ticket Tp Iptyou pass tbreng4.
VOL. XI.--NO. 45.
.Stuft for 53milto
Miss Lovely says that males are of no ,
account from the time ladies stop kiss
ing them as infants, till they kiss them
as lovers. _ _
" Biddy," said a l'ad'y one evening,
"we must have some sausage for tea this
evening, I expect company." " Yes,
ma'am." Tea time arrived', and with it
the company y the table was spread, the
tea was simmering, hat no sausages ap.
peered. "Where are the sausages.
Biddy 1" the lady inquired. "And sure
they're in the tay pot, ma'am I Didn't
you tell me we must have them for tay ?"
Women are tigreat mystery. Accord
ing to Haller, women bear hunger longer
than men ; according to Plutarch, they
can resist the effects of wind better;
according to Unger, they grow older and
Deist. bald; according to Pliny, they
are seldom attacked by lions; (on the
contrary, they will run after lions) ; and
according to Gunther, they can talk a
few
Somebody has found out a new way
of taking pictures; by which they can
be taken better at bight than in the day
time. . A photographer has missed sev
eral froth the frames that hung by the
door, and doesn't approve of the new
plan.
After quoting from John Locke, that
a blind man took his idea of scarlet
from the sound of a trumpet, a witty
fellow says that a hoop•skirt hanging
out of a shop door, reminds him of the
pe,el of a belle. •
A. sharp grocer,'when a customer, who
was buying "a gallon of molasses, ob
served- that a good deal rewaiued in the
measure after it was turned, remarked :
" There was some in the measure before
rdrew your gallon."
A farmer being asked if hie horses
were matched, replied, "Yea, they are
matched bet-rate ; one of them is will
ing to do all the work, and the other is
willing be should."
An Irishman who bad blistered his
fingers by endeavoring to draw on a
pair of boots, .exclaimed : "By St. Pat
rick, I believe I shall never get them on
until I wear them a day or two.
A poor Irishman whto applied for a
license to sell ardent spirits, being ques
tioned as to his moral fitness for the
trust replied, "Ah ! sure it's not much
of a character a man needs to sell rum!"
An old lady inquired at one of the
railway stations what time the 7:45 train
would start, and was told at a quarter
to eight. " Bleu me !" she exclaimed;
"you are always changing the time on
this line."
" Why do you keep yourself so dis
tant?" said a fair one to a cool lover.
" Because," said he, "distance leads en
chantment to the view."
A smart fellow in Worcester has dis
covered a plan to make two hodfuls of
coal go as far as four. He doubles the
size of the hod. The invention is not
patented.
Why is a clock the most modest piece
of furniture ? Because it covers its
face with its hands, and runs down its
works.
A. correspondent from Louisiana
writes that a great many of the water
privileges advertised in that region, are
not worth a dam.
Our fine arts critic says that *he is
convinced that ladies do wear false
calves because they are so ready to re
veal them.
" Be content with what you have," as
the Tat said to the trap when he left hie
tail in it.
A true philanthropist and a well
trained horse always stop at the sound
of woe.
"I go through my work," as the
needle said to the idle boy. " But not
until you are hard pushed," as the idle
boy said to the needle.
If you had gone half crazy at not hav
ing won your sweetheart as a wife, re.
member you might have gone the other
half if you had succeeded.
" I'm afraid you'll come to want,"
said an old lady to: a young gentleman.
"I have come to want already," was the
reply. "I want your daughter."
" Pa, I know why that old fashioned
pistol of your'u that grandpa flt - wfth in
the Revolution is called a horse pistol."
" Why, my son ?"• " Because it kicks
sot"
Netter look at the girls. They can't
bear it; they regard it- as an insult.
They wear their feathers, furbelo we, and
mils, merely to gratify .their mammas,
that's ail I