The Mariettian. (Marietta [Pa.]) 1861-18??, July 08, 1865, Image 1
& eolutobia TRAINS of this road run by Reading Rail Road time, which is ten minutes faster than that of Pennsylvania Railroad. TRAINS OR THIS ROAD RUN AS Tottows: LEAVING COLUMBIA AT A. M.—Mail, J'aissenget train for 7.1 v Reading and intermediate stations, lea !nig Landisville at 7a43.a. - m., Manheim at 7; 58; Litiz at 8:13; Ephrata ,at 5:42; Rein. holdavilte at 9:08; Sinking Springs at 9:40 and arriving at fti ading at ten Weltick. At Read ingeonneetion is made with Fast Expresstrain of East Pennsylvania Railroad, reaching New York at 2:30 P. M. with train of Philadelphia and Reading Railroad,. reaching . Philadelphia at 1:20 I'. M., and also with trains for Potts ville, the Lebanon Valigf an 4 #strisburg. P. M.--P,LS.S.EftA'N 4.11 IG, TIN 2 :10 ifor Reading, and intermediate sta tions' connecring'at Landisville at 2:50 P. M. with Express .trains of Penn's. R. R” both East and West, leaving Manheini at 3:26; Litiz 3:41; Ephrata at 4:10 ; Reinholdsville 4:37 ; Sulking Springs 5:03 and arriving at Reading I A 5:20 P. M. At Iteadins i ,connection is made with trains for Pottsville and Lebanon Valley. LEAVE LITIZ AT P. -A M.—Express Passenger Train for Reading and 'intermediate sta tions, leaving' Ephrata at 2:44 3:11; oinking Sprlngal 3:30 ..anct arriving' at Beading at 3:95 P. M. = At Realing connection is made with Past Express,of East Pen Oa R. it, reaching . New York at 10 o'clock, P. 41., and with train of Philadelphia and Reading R. It., reaching Philadelphia at 7:05 P. M. LEAVE READING AT 6rt() A. M.—MAIL PASSENGER tarn INfor Columbia and intermediate atm non.s, leaving Sinking Springa at 6 16 *, Rein hoidsville at 6 44, Ephrata at 7 11, Litiz at 7 40, Wiatiheim at 758, making connection at Landisville with train of Penn'a Railroad, reaching Lancaster atB:33 A M. and Phila delphia at 12:30; arriving at Columbia at 9 o'clock, A. M., thertioonnecting the Ferry for Wrightsville and NM:thorn Central Railroad, at 11:45 A. M.with train of Penn's. Railroad far the Weet.. lJ ~An.dM.—P intermediateass r a; l at i g or i D Lit ?. rival . of passenger trains 'from- Philti4lpt a ila and Pottsville, leaving Sinking Sp rinksittl 108 Reinholdsville at 11:53; Eph'rata , l2o3 ; en d arriving at Litiz at one o'clock, P. M. • 1 Pasketiger Train for 6:15 c P. Mlunibitr.aanid intermediate stations alto passengers leaving New-York at 1 . '2. SI., arid Philadelphia at 3:30 P. M..; leaving Sink ii g at 6:31 ; 4 einholdsville6M9 ; Epti ram ; Ifsn ; Minheim 8:11 ; S;'n ; arriving Columbla'at-9 P. M. rp The. Pleasure. Travel to ..plvrata and Lill Sidings from ,New-York, Philadelphia, Baltimore and other points, is by this schedule accommodated several times per day, with Ex ;ass trams connecting in all directions. It?' Through tickets to New-York, Phila delphia and Lancaster sold at principal sta tions. Fraight carried with utmost prompt ness and dispatch, at the lowest rates. = Further information with regard to Freight or pasbenge, may be obtained from the agents of the Company. NENDES COHEN, Superintendent. E. F. KEEVEIt, General Freight anti Ticket Agent. tobts 1 ,Stouts 11 ,fa/in Vlza.nolee, OPPOSITE HARRY WOLFE'S. AS the season for Stoves is fastapproaching I would call the attention of all wishinK to purchase Parlor or Cooking Stoves, to my large and well selected stock, which em braces the best and moat Sesirtkle Stoves that the Eastean markets afford, SSA . which were purchased early, which will enable Me to, dis pose of them advantageously to buyers. Among the leading Parlor .and Cook, Stoves are the following: Parlor Stoves. Cooktng Stoves. _ Meteor Gas Burlier, Galleo, Columbia do Royal, Oval do do Waverly, - ' Dial, Wellington, • Gem, -• Lehigh, Tropic Egg, Charm, . . Moiler, Summer Rose, Also, the Vulcan and Sanford's Heaters, a very desirable article for heating two or four moms with very little, if any, more fuel than an ordinery parlor stove would'consume. Ranges for cooking, constantly on hand, all of which Will be sold on reasonable terms. 11::r Call and examine before purchasieg elsewhere. ASHINGT9N Skeleton Skirts. The. Vl' best article of the kind made each Skirt Is guaranteed. We are Agente for the Manu facturer. . , Good Style Csesimores for Suite, Cloths, Ves tinge, Jeans, Cottonades, Shirting Flannels, Neck Ties, ' Muslins, Ticking& and Cheeks, Osnaburgs, Drills and . Flannele, Sheetings l 'Diapers and Crash, Feathers. •Table and Fleet OW Cloth, Looking Glasses and Blankets, Transparent and Holland Blinds. Wall and Window Paper, Ingrain and Reg Carpet, Wool and Linen Carpet Chain. A large assortment of Boys and Mena Bats and Caps. Common and Fine Glass Ware, Fine Granite Dinner Sets. Sugar Syru GROCERIES p, Teas New Mackerel in all &net packages Sugar cured Hanle and Dried vicesßeefs Salt, Rice S ' &c. 411 at the %lowest . p lane SPANGLER & RICH f you want a 'trst-rate Black or Fancy Silk' A neat orgay challie or De LaMe A superior Bleck or fancy Woolen De likine A fine ar medium Mack or Colored Alpaca A good Lavelle, Da Beige or Poplin An &cant Chintz or good Calico A French, &gnat./ or Sharobry Gingham You find a; SPAXGLER & RICH'S FRANKLIN HINKLE, M. D. After an absence of .nearly three years"e Navy and Army of the United States hto as returnAl to the Borough of Marietta and re sumed the practice of Medicine.- Vspecial attention paid to Surgical cAsea in which branch of his profession be has had very considerable experience. A LARGE stock of Paper:mid EnveL 6 P:o B ate at of the best quality just received and for The Goldeu Mortar._ 'DORE COD LIVER OIL JELLY,4lpetot at DR. HINKLE'S. L. BAKER. PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY MORNING, AT ONE DOLLAR AND A HALF A YEAR, PAYABLE IN ADVANCE. Office in " LINDSAY'S BUILDING," second floor, on Elbow Lane, between the. Post Office corner and Front street, Marietta, Lancaster County, Penn% Single Copies, witn, or without W/appers, FOUR CENTS. A.DVERTISINa SATES: , One square (10 lines, or less) 75 cents for the first insertion and One Dollar and-a ' -half for 3 insertions. Pro fessional and Business raids, of six lines °rinse at 115 per annum. Notices iu the fending col umns, ten cents a-line. Marriages and Deaths, the simple announcement, FREE; but for any • additional lines, ten cenlsaline. A liberal deduction made to yearly sad half yearly advertisers. Having just added a " NEWBURY MOUN TAIN JOBBER PRESS," together with a large. assortment of new Job and Card type, Cuts, 'Borders, &c., &c., to the Job Office of " THE MARIETTIA N," which will insure the'fne and speedy execution of ail kind; of lon & CARD Parturrno, from the smallest Cart to the LARGEST POSTER, at reasonable prices. The boast of every loya . l heart, How proudly waves our starry flag; Kissed by each gentle gale that blows. O'er fertile vale or rugged crag. Beneath its folds our fathers fought, .And gained a heritage, sublime, Which shall.descend from sire to son, 'Until the end of time. Flag of the brave.l we love.thee still, The memories of the .pitst all live Within our hearts. To thee we yield •The prondest• homage marin can give, And swear aneiv, tiyall we are, By all we ever hope to be, That to the end we will'defead The banner of the free. Whenever treason would assail That flag with rude, rebellious hand, Millions of freemen shall arise, ' Miners-a -like, through all our land ; And, marching 'Death its ample folds, Defend it to their latest, bre:ath, The battle-cry, throughout the strife, To every traitor—Death. No WONDER.—One Of our most frith tenable hair dressers tells the 'following good etory : An old Quaker lady was standing at her counter one day, when a gay young girl came in to engage a hair-dresser For the evening. She gave her order hu'r riedly,, saying that she wanted a half_ dozen "rolls" and a butterfly on the top, a "Grecian" or "waterfall" at the back, with plenty of "puffs" and "curls, , " and ended with an injunction to send along any quantity of "rats," "mice," and "cataracts." "Poor child I" said the,.dear old lady, compassionately, looking after her as she departed—" What a pity she hits :ost her mind I" WANTED.-"A. better ' Christianity than that in common use ; a Christian ity that is not .limited to creed and Sabbath observance ; a Christianity that makes men and women kinder, hon ester, parer and nobler in all their week day works ; a Christianity, as Dr. Hunt ington remarks, 'that is Phristik across counters, over dinner-tables * , behind your neighbor's back, as in his face ; a Christianity that we can find in the tem perance-of the meal, in moderation of dress, in respect for authority, in ami,a bility at home, in veracity and• simp lici ty in mixed society.' - Rowland 'Hill used to say, 'he would give very little for Ithe religion of a man whose dog and, cat were not the better for it.'-" FASTIDIOUS TASTES.—In the exhibition of dogs now'taking place in Paris are several snow-white-lap-dogs. Each has a little room to itself, the sides lined with rose or, •bliie satin, trimmed with lace and ruches of ribbon, and the gar dien gravely informed me .that - , - ieveral declined their feed unless' served on, a silver plate. One of these kennels ls.a regular dressing-room, worthy of a de scendant of Ninon de l'Enclos, combs, sponges,,puffe and perfumeirbeibg scattered about it. The occupant H of , this elegant apartment is it - wiiite • • ana dog. Or The printer is the master , of, all trades. He beats the carpenter With the rule, and" the mason in; setting up columns ; he suipasses the lawyer in attending . to his case; and beats the par son in the management - of the , devil. eis A German writer says a young girl, is a Osbing rod ; the eyes, are the hook, the smile the,bait, the lover .the , al4 Tiarriank the bitter 'in which he is fried. ../i.:y.t.c'-)-,11.1',.atitt.. - ..,:+411,. Our Flag Ptgenkut Venusgthaitia 4.ountal for tt New MARIETTA, . - ATURDAY- - 'MORNIN : q,..-4-11TS„ kf,fs,os. FOE THE MARIETTIAN. THE MISSION OF THE DEWDROP. 'Tis noon. The heavens' are without a cloud ; the sun has been pouring his rays unobstricted upon the earth since his first appearance aboin the 'eastern horizon; his' beams increasing in heat as he pursued his - ceurse' toward the meri dian. The earth feels' 'his 'scorching power. The soil firparched'and dry, and the corn, the clover, the grass and the flowers are drooping: All vegetation waste 'a 'withered ' appearance and the tenderer plants-seein• as if about- to die. Thus passes the day.' The nun at length desCends'behind' the 'western hills and flight dittwit around her Bible' certain. Look upon the scene ouch more when morning has again brotight the' light. The sun is just rising from his eastern conch, shedding a halo of golden light over earth and sky. Look at the grass an &flowers which yesterday Were droop ing and dying. They no longer wear this sad appearance ; their leaves spread Out fresh and green, their stems are erect and strong. All things seem refreshed and vigorous. • , What has wrought the change?' Do you see ? From every blade of grass and corn, from every' leaf of clover, from the petals of every flower, hangs a dew drop, sparkling like a diamond in the morning sunlight. During the coolness or the"night,- when the burning sun was gone, these little drops were slowly and silently formed. They came not like the raindrops ofthe heavy slimier, but quietly they gathered upon the drooping leaves, affording to the thirsty plants the refreshment they en much needed. The grateful plants joyfully -receive the proffered aid and raising 'again their drooping heads, nut on smiling faceslo greet the return' of day.. How little is the dewdrop, yet how great are, its effects I It has revived the withered vegetation and imparted to it new life, and vigor. It has changed the face of the' landscape fromgloom to 0 .1% Yet it made no 110i80. No sound gave notices:tits coming,. It came in the darkness of the night, unnoticed and unseen. 13fthe time the inn has made onefourth the circuit of the skies, it will be dried up, but its mission will have been accomplished. The plants on which it had gathered will be better able to endure the scorching heat of another day, whereas, but for the refresh ing dew they would droop still more and die. This, thep, was the mission of the dewdrop ; toleyivpthe drooping, dying plant. May we not learn lessons from the little dewdrop,? Like it we each have a mission to fulfill, a work to do. Most of us perhaps, have silent• missions ; not such as shall tend to spread our fame and make us, widely known ; but our mission may be among the lowly, when,. unobserved by the busy world, 'we may ,be active, bearing comfort to thesorrow ful, hope to the boneless, assistance to the needy. There are many, many dr4iop ing, dying , ones in life 'to whom a kind word of sympathy and a pleasant smile would be as the refreshing dew to 'the withering flowers. Let each go forth then and wait upon his mission, discharging faithfully its duties, and though the sun of life be too ,hot for him and like the dew he tall ere the day is spent, yet will:his mission not have been in vain. sir A talented African of the' boot black persuasion, while dancing like St. Vitus over a custopeis boots the other day, observed his partner poring wisely over a newspaper, whereupon the fol lowing oolloquoy ensued : First mem ber of thp.firm--"Julius, witat de dpbbil you lookin at dat paper :.for? You can t read. Second,.membera—"Go way, fel lah ; guess Peen read; I se big enough for d'at. Met' 'meraber—"Dat ain,t man. •A-cow s big enough to - catch .a pica, bat she cant iL “what a fine, head your boy has?” said -an admiring friend. "Yes," said. the fond_father, "he !s a chip of the oid block—ain't, you, my boy ? "Yes, fath er, teacher said Yesterday 1 afati# i:rnung blockhead. ear A rather, was Wia4Ang his watch , when he said, playfully i • to his little girl, '.'Let me wind your nose - said the. child, "I don't want my nose d up for I dori't want itto ran'al day." . - • 1W Why, has a, , of ali'D 3 , l 4 Ppnithßtly cannot° complain the bafdneei Ohio 107,11 . 00:ese at the beet`of 'times Phis buil:test ie at a stand. , • A. Chapter. of Mormon, Life, The following lifstoiy Of one of the victims of mormoniom is 'from the St.: JesePh, Missouri, Herald Somewhat over one year ago, a young lady' left her home iii` ketifisylvania—a home , where-all the of life•were at her command. • . Her parents were in dulgent, and she, 'an only child, NM' loved by them 'with all the. fondness of true parental affection. No wish of hers remained ungratified, for she was the idol of those parents, acid the light of the hothe made " desolate by an act which will forever cast its shadow pislher , heart. In February, 1864, she beezine abquitin i ted Wail a Miirmen i)reaCher, who Plait : . ted to her m glowing terms the glories of Utah and tho'llormon He told her of the beautiful valleYs'of Utah, fortified on all sides by giant 'mountains, whose peaks, burnished by eternal snows, looked doWn upon the valley of Verpetual green, peopled by God'if own chosen kindred, who ; were free as the mountain torrents that leap the 'rock's of lofty Timpanago's' range. He told her of , the content and peace reigning among the saints,,and assured her• ,that the Mormons were Grod's own" peculiar pbople, and so worked upon her imagin ation, •that Bbe.tioally consented to leave friends, family and,all the endearments of home, and go with him to the. Valley of the Saints. Arriving,at ,Chicago, he forced her to marry him, the ceremony being perforwoli by.a, mock Priest, with out record or license. In April she left Wyoming, Nebraska, with a Mormon train, for the land of -promise, and finally arrived in the city of the spines. Here she found that her husband had four other wives, who re garded her with no tender emotions, but heaped abase and contumely upon 'her head: After a few months •her liege lord =told her he had concluded to seal her to 'another, who had taken a greet fancy to her.; that his ether 'wives,were jealous, and'declared his last 'wife should live with-him no longer. She .declared she•Wonld die before ehe•would thus be put away and forced to live as the wife Of a man with••whom she had'no acquain tance, and had Seenibut once. in her life. Her husband told her that it was Brig ham's order and she must do so or lose her, life. Determined not *to be - thus sacrificed, she started to run away, with the intention of 'making her way to Camp Breckenridge, in Cedar Valley, then garrisoned by United States • trooPs _and claim protection there. She started on foot, and after travelling at least ten miles was caught and 'brought back, placed in a dungeon, or rather a cellar, and Was thus kept for 'a month, with just enoligh-food yto sustain. life. The .man whom she:refused to live with ire quently visited .her, and besought.her to change her resolution in order to save her life. Througliforce of circumstances she at last yielded, and-was duly install ‘ed in•the family as his sixth•wife. Here she found, as before, the' jealousies and quarrels arising_ were intolerable, and she again determined to escape- or die in the attempt. This time she succeed ed in reaching: the headquarters of Gen eral Connor, to whom she told her tale of euffering. The General sent her through to the States with a GOvern- Merit train bound for Fort Keitiney, which place she reached a few week's ago. She is now in this city which she she will soon leave, a repentant and sor roWful child, for hir home in Pennsyl vania—that home shp,was persuaded to desert, through- the. misrepresentation and wiles of a crafty scoundrel: . sir . We 'pow of an old man who he lieVed that what was .to tie would be. He lived in a region infested by very .region savage Indians. He always took his gun with him when..going out into the woods ; but this time found that - some of the family had taken it. Aslie would not go without this .friende tantalized him by.saying that.there was no danger -of the - I - di:Hans ; - that he would not die till his time came, anyhow.. "Yes, yes,' said theoldfellow ;"'but suppose I was to meet an Indian, and hie, time had come, it wouldri t do not to have my gun. fir An Irish glazier was' putting in a pane of glass into„a window, when a groom. Wl3lB, began to joke him, Mgr!) putty. ~:the Irish IVre the,43lßo for some time, ationgth-lle , ,broke out by saying `‘Airrah Poo!, ye,ftr put-ayane , iniour head widont any Putt , .' %Thetkicial *le WiiciiP te4 , Bei3v net idßbal _,et; A.—When it is a little Bui-gic-nt7, Served Him R i ght. the Toronto lieadeegives the 'partic- . niers of a matrimonial radiance, in which'', a I Terinoit 'Clergyman- 'las' the Main' character, the denouement of Which was,' hOweier, anything but`romanticla him - 1 - i; seems that a faittier in. McHenry . county, Illinois, named W--; had ad vertised in a Chicago 'paperlfar it' wife, which was replied to by a dashing Young' law student of Toronto, rive-for fun, un der the name, or Helen,Chrietopher. A, • warm.correspondence ensued, "Helen"' imitating•the hand and, style of a lady anxious to make a good, match, and de scribing himself as , anorphari , of respec table family connections, and of .means, residing in Toronto. The. correspond ence was finally brOkeO off by' W = --.'s neglect in paying his postage, whibli in" Oanoa amounts to something, and he married - some . one in his own neighbor hood. - But the sequel contains the pith of the story: . father, a 'Minis ter in Vermont, and a widower, by some means kot hold of "HeleuPe", letters to his 'soniland. being struck Ewitly her style, wreter t& her wittua, - view of marrying her himself Ale told her that • "I a.minisfer- of 'the 'gospel, Cm un buiied Ei'lllea little wiffi Tears ago, and' haVe tie 'c hildien:titaxAheitt tention ,of a ,companion.• My fainily, is provided for ind.cif,my beide, I .talk s.ometimes,of disco utingip&„ preaching, and of retiring to private Age. f My,age. people judge to be thirty,tive, although lam older. I am above the middle size of menu though nit large ; have perfect healttl'and a fair position in "so cieti. 'coMpleiioi is dark, with dark eyes audlair—hair not tinged with grey' ii:the least. "What makes my complexion still darker, 'I - wear"= full beard and moustache," And:lqueried : "May I ask my. little.girli (if I may: be allowed toi calk her , ..so,) - if qotware a Christian;? If you' can sing and-play on the melodeon 'lfyon have go o d healthl What is your complexion ?" Helen Prolpptlyrepied, and an mated correspondence erisued, resulting in the,ReverendMviting himself to visit Toronto to ohtaithan,ititerview with his fair ,correspondent. This ,vpps , rather more than "Helen" desired, and• think- ing it imprudent to bring the , old man on a fool'iorrand, some 660 'liaise' from his "local" 'hibitatiOn, sent him a note over another name, pretendinet& have accidentally tOnid ohs of hialefte'is and to be a rival' of hie for the affection 'et "Helen," arid threatening him with cas tigation,incaseatiaLishotild lever , make his appearatice !Rev. J , . wrote again, to Helen ' disclaiming .-any wrong intentions; , and asked if his `rival should exercise any <control, over. such a lady. She then i repliedthathe might come, when hereplo<clAh4 11 9 1 7 0 . 1 4 be 'thereon the 9th:epi9Al of !dab when he expected to meet his "little his "dear Helen."- He arrived on the day appointed, add sent his "little girl" a note, desiring hetto - ditket him 'at" a certain hour, on the corner of a'certain street. He went'," buteaei no 7 one like the photograph "Helen" had seta: lima, which was the portrait of :•a prominent actress. But the eyessf, a large , -Aparty of "Helen's" 'acquaintances; whovhad imen let into the secret, were upon 'bird. He appeared sadly disappointed , ~b eing fidgety in his movements, castingwistfdl glances, at the passers, by as he. woroor naded the streets, while his tormentors, for such they were, could scarcely con tain themselves. TheyWereat his side at "the pest office, in the street, end even talking with him in the Nohind ing his "little Helen" he concluded to leave Wain, but "she" determined 'he -Should dot-go. until' he bad(learned a les son. With. his party of frien& , he ep peered at the station, and stepping up to the Reverendsentleipan, as hastood on the car ,platform, he held pa his hand, shouting, ,"How are you, W., -,-;r7 how is MIN Helen Christopher 7" „ J. W. became pale with rage, stamped his Mot on the planks; and • with uplifted hands exclaimed, "You vile rascal,'how dale `pin play me stich,a' trick 7" ,%itist then the train started, amid the 'shoe a of the merty young fellolVii, Tor* and Hi3lee opher; bearing' off "the diseOrrifitek foolish old lover; 'e, 3 sadder and wiser mani l and who probably never set a wife by!advertising. lir The age of a young lady is pow expressed according to 'the 'pretine style of bY'saiingifia:ttigfitecth ip'rttie have passed over. 'At TAW, '; 4 ar "Pa, thiiiir.tell itliontk tihetangrt Pir f A 7 14 t0:4Ft t ist h SOTt l airigia ?" "06, it boa 4pe,m i croyfd:Ethonfaa t " s VOL. X1.7--NO. 48. Schoolroom Exercise. "john,.boond the State of Matrimo- DY," "The State of Matrimony is bounded on the North by Solitude, on the East by double Trouble, on the South by Soreshins, on the West by Vexation." "What are its chief products ?" "Peevish babies, scolding wives, hen pecked husbands, smoked coffee, burnt hams, and sour pies." "What is said of its climate ?" "It is more varied in its temperature than. any : other State in existence. In thatportion of it called the Honey moon, the climate is salubrious and healthy- 7 the•atmosphere laden with the sweets of the #owers of Hymen. In some,parts ; the inhabitants experience a freezing cold reception when they ex pact most warmth, and in some other parts there Is all the burning sensation of the Torrid Zone. Sometimes a fel low'p.hoppeiin the State of Matrimony gets too hot to hold , him, and, strange tondy, he travels with all speed, not to, but from the poles, where coal is goner alli•supposed to exist." "Sarah, has .Pohn given a correct out line of the State of Matrimony ?" "Can't say, sir—never was in that State. :Bill Simpkins gave me an invi tation the other day to travel in it with him, and when I return I'll answer the question." "Well, Sarah, as'you seem to be ig norant in geography, I will examine yoU in gtammer. Take the sentence, `Marriage is a civil contract.' Parse marriage. "Marriage is a noun, because its a. name. And though ' Shakespeare asks what's in a name, and say's a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, yet marriage belug, a noun, and therefore a name, shows that that the rule establish e,d by,the bard of Aven has at least one exception., For marriage, certainly, is of very,great importance, and being a nonn, and therefore a name, ergo there is something in a name." "Good 1 Well, what is the case of marriage?" "Don't know, sir." "Decline it, and see." "Don't, feel at liberty to-decline mar riage after haying made Bill the promise I have. Had rather conjugate." "Jane, can you tell Sarah in what case marriage is ?" '"Yes, sir, its a very common case, and I would not care if it were a little commoner. And I suppose Sarah won't icie-iharfiedi, 'week before it's in the ibter's thin." :(7,an 'you decline Marriage ?" Jane blushed extremely, and answer- "Had rather not,' sir." "Well, sarab, what. person is mar riage ?" ••Second person, sir; because the per— son you speak to is one who is going to, marry." "Whifnninber is marriage ?" ."Plural number, new, sir, because Bill and' I itie two at the present time. Whea the parson ties the hoot, marriage will , be singular, because the Bible says that twain shall be one flesh." "What gender is marriage 2" "Common gender, because either male or female may get married." "Does marriage govern anything, or dent agree with some things 2" . i'Bdth, sir. It governs both mankind 'and wOnankind, and as to agreeing, it 'agrees with the world and the rest of mankind." "Give your rule." „",hly rule Is that Bill shan't grumble if..l buy .two • silk ,dresses, a year, and shan't have . but. one teaspoonful of sugar to two cups of coffee.” er. At a'printers' festival, the follow ing sentiment was offered : "Woman— second only to the press in the dissemi nation of news I" Another sentiment was:: '''Woman—she requires no 01110- 64We speaks for herself!" -Another : "Woman-the - fairest work of creation the edition being extensive, let no one be without a copy." A. toast at an Irish Society's din ner atTineinnati : "Here's to the Pres ident' of the'Society, Patrick O'Raferty, and rosy he , live. to ate the hen that soratihes: over his. grave." '*'Love in'•nien is like the distem- Or - in dOkr," laaid a disappointed spin sta “*l•l'iitheit : puppies nor men are worth anything . till they have had it.,, ire "I„am a broken man," said a poor I,,,shotild think," was the reply, "for I bare seen your pieces."