& eolutobia
TRAINS of this road run by Reading Rail
Road time, which is ten minutes faster
than that of Pennsylvania Railroad.
TRAINS OR THIS ROAD RUN AS Tottows:
LEAVING COLUMBIA AT
A. M.—Mail, J'aissenget train for
7.1 v Reading and intermediate stations,
lea !nig Landisville at 7a43.a. - m., Manheim at
7; 58; Litiz at 8:13; Ephrata ,at 5:42; Rein.
holdavilte at 9:08; Sinking Springs at 9:40 and
arriving at fti ading at ten Weltick. At Read
ingeonneetion is made with Fast Expresstrain
of East Pennsylvania Railroad, reaching New
York at 2:30 P. M. with train of Philadelphia
and Reading Railroad,. reaching . Philadelphia
at 1:20 I'. M., and also with trains for Potts
ville, the Lebanon Valigf an 4 #strisburg.
P. M.--P,LS.S.EftA'N 4.11
IG, TIN
2
:10 ifor Reading, and intermediate sta
tions' connecring'at Landisville at 2:50 P. M.
with Express .trains of Penn's. R. R” both
East and West, leaving Manheini at 3:26; Litiz
3:41; Ephrata at 4:10 ; Reinholdsville 4:37 ;
Sulking Springs 5:03 and arriving at Reading
I A 5:20 P. M. At Iteadins i ,connection is made
with trains for Pottsville and Lebanon Valley.
LEAVE LITIZ AT
P. -A
M.—Express Passenger Train
for Reading and 'intermediate sta
tions, leaving' Ephrata at 2:44
3:11; oinking Sprlngal 3:30 ..anct arriving' at
Beading at 3:95 P. M. = At Realing connection
is made with Past Express,of East Pen Oa R.
it, reaching
. New York at 10 o'clock, P. 41.,
and with train of Philadelphia and Reading R.
It., reaching Philadelphia at 7:05 P. M.
LEAVE READING AT
6rt() A. M.—MAIL PASSENGER tarn
INfor Columbia and intermediate atm
non.s, leaving Sinking Springa at 6 16 *, Rein
hoidsville at 6 44, Ephrata at 7 11, Litiz at
7 40, Wiatiheim at 758, making connection at
Landisville with train of Penn'a Railroad,
reaching Lancaster atB:33 A M. and Phila
delphia at 12:30; arriving at Columbia at 9
o'clock, A. M., thertioonnecting the Ferry for
Wrightsville and NM:thorn Central Railroad,
at 11:45 A. M.with train of Penn's. Railroad
far the Weet..
lJ ~An.dM.—P intermediateass r a; l at i g or i
D Lit ?.
rival . of passenger trains 'from- Philti4lpt a ila
and Pottsville, leaving Sinking Sp rinksittl 108
Reinholdsville at 11:53; Eph'rata , l2o3 ; en d
arriving at Litiz at one o'clock, P. M. •
1 Pasketiger Train for
6:15 c P. Mlunibitr.aanid intermediate stations
alto passengers leaving New-York at 1 . '2. SI.,
arid Philadelphia at 3:30 P. M..; leaving Sink
ii g at 6:31 ;
4 einholdsville6M9 ; Epti
ram ; Ifsn ; Minheim 8:11 ;
S;'n ; arriving Columbla'at-9 P. M.
rp The. Pleasure. Travel to ..plvrata and
Lill Sidings from ,New-York, Philadelphia,
Baltimore and other points, is by this schedule
accommodated several times per day, with Ex
;ass trams connecting in all directions.
It?' Through tickets to New-York, Phila
delphia and Lancaster sold at principal sta
tions. Fraight carried with utmost prompt
ness and dispatch, at the lowest rates.
=
Further information with regard to Freight
or pasbenge, may be obtained from the agents
of the Company.
NENDES COHEN, Superintendent.
E. F. KEEVEIt, General Freight anti Ticket
Agent.
tobts 1 ,Stouts 11
,fa/in Vlza.nolee,
OPPOSITE HARRY WOLFE'S.
AS the season for Stoves is fastapproaching
I would call the attention of all wishinK
to purchase
Parlor or Cooking Stoves,
to my large and well selected stock, which em
braces the best and moat Sesirtkle Stoves that
the Eastean markets afford, SSA . which were
purchased early, which will enable Me to, dis
pose of them advantageously to buyers.
Among the leading Parlor .and Cook, Stoves
are the following:
Parlor Stoves. Cooktng Stoves. _
Meteor Gas Burlier, Galleo,
Columbia do Royal,
Oval do do Waverly, - '
Dial, Wellington, •
Gem, -• Lehigh,
Tropic Egg, Charm, .
.
Moiler, Summer Rose,
Also, the Vulcan and Sanford's Heaters, a
very desirable article for heating two or four
moms with very little, if any, more fuel than
an ordinery parlor stove would'consume.
Ranges for cooking, constantly on hand, all
of which Will be sold on reasonable terms.
11::r Call and examine before purchasieg
elsewhere.
ASHINGT9N Skeleton Skirts. The.
Vl' best article of the kind made each Skirt
Is guaranteed. We are Agente for the Manu
facturer.
. ,
Good Style Csesimores for Suite, Cloths, Ves
tinge, Jeans, Cottonades, Shirting Flannels,
Neck Ties, '
Muslins, Ticking& and Cheeks, Osnaburgs,
Drills and . Flannele, Sheetings l 'Diapers and
Crash, Feathers. •Table and Fleet OW Cloth,
Looking Glasses and Blankets, Transparent
and Holland Blinds.
Wall and Window Paper, Ingrain and Reg
Carpet, Wool and Linen Carpet Chain. A
large assortment of Boys and Mena Bats and
Caps. Common and Fine Glass Ware, Fine
Granite Dinner Sets.
Sugar Syru GROCERIES
p, Teas New Mackerel in all
&net packages Sugar cured Hanle and Dried
vicesßeefs Salt, Rice S ' &c. 411 at the %lowest
. p lane
SPANGLER & RICH
f you want a
'trst-rate Black or Fancy Silk'
A neat orgay challie or De LaMe
A superior Bleck or fancy Woolen De likine
A fine ar medium Mack or Colored Alpaca
A good Lavelle, Da Beige or Poplin
An &cant Chintz or good Calico
A French, &gnat./ or Sharobry Gingham
You find a;
SPAXGLER & RICH'S
FRANKLIN HINKLE, M. D.
After an absence of .nearly three years"e Navy and Army of the United States hto
as
returnAl to the Borough of Marietta and re
sumed the practice of Medicine.-
Vspecial attention paid to Surgical cAsea
in which branch of his profession be has had
very considerable experience.
A LARGE stock of Paper:mid EnveL 6 P:o B
ate at
of the best quality just received and for
The Goldeu Mortar._
'DORE COD LIVER OIL JELLY,4lpetot
at DR. HINKLE'S.
L. BAKER.
PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY MORNING,
AT ONE DOLLAR AND A HALF A YEAR,
PAYABLE IN ADVANCE.
Office in " LINDSAY'S BUILDING," second
floor, on Elbow Lane, between the. Post
Office corner and Front street,
Marietta, Lancaster County, Penn%
Single Copies, witn, or without W/appers,
FOUR CENTS.
A.DVERTISINa SATES: , One square (10
lines, or less) 75 cents for the first insertion and
One Dollar and-a ' -half for 3 insertions. Pro
fessional and Business raids, of six lines °rinse
at 115 per annum. Notices iu the fending col
umns, ten cents a-line. Marriages and Deaths,
the simple announcement, FREE; but for any
•
additional lines, ten cenlsaline.
A liberal deduction made to yearly sad half
yearly advertisers.
Having just added a " NEWBURY MOUN
TAIN JOBBER PRESS," together with a large.
assortment of new Job and Card type, Cuts,
'Borders, &c., &c., to the Job Office of " THE
MARIETTIA N," which will insure the'fne and
speedy execution of ail kind; of lon & CARD
Parturrno, from the smallest Cart to the
LARGEST POSTER, at reasonable prices.
The boast of every loya . l heart,
How proudly waves our starry flag;
Kissed by each gentle gale that blows.
O'er fertile vale or rugged crag.
Beneath its folds our fathers fought,
.And gained a heritage, sublime,
Which shall.descend from sire to son,
'Until the end of time.
Flag of the brave.l we love.thee still,
The memories of the .pitst all live
Within our hearts. To thee we yield
•The prondest• homage marin can give,
And swear aneiv, tiyall we are,
By all we ever hope to be,
That to the end we will'defead
The banner of the free.
Whenever treason would assail
That flag with rude, rebellious hand,
Millions of freemen shall arise, '
Miners-a
-like, through all our land ;
And, marching 'Death its ample folds,
Defend it to their latest, bre:ath,
The battle-cry, throughout the strife,
To every traitor—Death.
No WONDER.—One Of our most frith
tenable hair dressers tells the 'following
good etory :
An old Quaker lady was standing at
her counter one day, when a gay young
girl came in to engage a hair-dresser For
the evening. She gave her order hu'r
riedly,, saying that she wanted a half_
dozen "rolls" and a butterfly on the
top, a "Grecian" or "waterfall" at the
back, with plenty of "puffs" and "curls, , "
and ended with an injunction to send
along any quantity of "rats," "mice,"
and "cataracts."
"Poor child I" said the,.dear old lady,
compassionately, looking after her as
she departed—" What a pity she hits
:ost her mind I"
WANTED.-"A. better ' Christianity
than that in common use ; a Christian
ity that is not .limited to creed and
Sabbath observance ; a Christianity
that makes men and women kinder, hon
ester, parer and nobler in all their week
day works ; a Christianity, as Dr. Hunt
ington remarks, 'that is Phristik across
counters, over dinner-tables * , behind
your neighbor's back, as in his face ; a
Christianity that we can find in the tem
perance-of the meal, in moderation of
dress, in respect for authority, in ami,a
bility at home, in veracity and• simp lici
ty in mixed society.' - Rowland 'Hill
used to say, 'he would give very little
for Ithe religion of a man whose dog and,
cat were not the better for it.'-"
FASTIDIOUS TASTES.—In the exhibition
of dogs now'taking place in Paris are
several snow-white-lap-dogs. Each has
a little room to itself, the sides lined
with rose or, •bliie satin, trimmed with
lace and ruches of ribbon, and the gar
dien gravely informed me
.that - , - ieveral
declined their feed unless' served on, a
silver plate. One of these kennels ls.a
regular dressing-room, worthy of a de
scendant of Ninon de l'Enclos,
combs, sponges,,puffe and perfumeirbeibg
scattered about it. The occupant H of
,
this elegant apartment is it - wiiite
• •
ana dog.
Or The printer is the master , of, all
trades. He beats the carpenter With
the rule, and" the mason in; setting up
columns ; he suipasses the lawyer in
attending . to his case; and beats the par
son in the management - of the , devil.
eis A German writer says a young
girl, is a Osbing rod ; the eyes, are the
hook, the smile the,bait, the lover .the
, al4 Tiarriank the bitter 'in
which he is fried.
../i.:y.t.c'-)-,11.1',.atitt.. - ..,:+411,.
Our Flag
Ptgenkut Venusgthaitia 4.ountal for tt New
MARIETTA, . - ATURDAY- - 'MORNIN : q,..-4-11TS„ kf,fs,os.
FOE THE MARIETTIAN.
THE MISSION OF THE DEWDROP.
'Tis noon. The heavens' are without
a cloud ; the sun has been pouring his
rays unobstricted upon the earth since
his first appearance aboin the 'eastern
horizon; his' beams increasing in heat as
he pursued his - ceurse' toward the meri
dian. The earth feels' 'his 'scorching
power. The soil firparched'and dry, and
the corn, the clover, the grass and the
flowers are drooping: All vegetation
waste 'a 'withered ' appearance and the
tenderer plants-seein• as if about- to die.
Thus passes the day.' The nun at length
desCends'behind' the 'western hills and
flight dittwit around her Bible' certain.
Look upon the scene ouch more when
morning has again brotight the' light.
The sun is just rising from his eastern
conch, shedding a halo of golden light
over earth and sky. Look at the grass
an &flowers which yesterday Were droop
ing and dying. They no longer wear
this sad appearance ; their leaves spread
Out fresh and green, their stems are erect
and strong. All things seem refreshed
and vigorous. • ,
What has wrought the change?' Do
you see ? From every blade of grass
and corn, from every' leaf of clover, from
the petals of every flower, hangs a dew
drop, sparkling like a diamond in the
morning sunlight. During the coolness
or the"night,- when the burning sun was
gone, these little drops were slowly and
silently formed. They came not like
the raindrops ofthe heavy slimier, but
quietly they gathered upon the drooping
leaves, affording to the thirsty plants
the refreshment they en much needed.
The grateful plants joyfully -receive the
proffered aid and raising 'again their
drooping heads, nut on smiling faceslo
greet the return' of day..
How little is the dewdrop, yet how
great are, its effects I It has revived
the withered vegetation and imparted
to it new life, and vigor. It has changed
the face of the' landscape fromgloom to
0 .1%
Yet it made no 110i80. No sound
gave notices:tits coming,. It came in
the darkness of the night, unnoticed and
unseen. 13fthe time the inn has made
onefourth the circuit of the skies, it
will be dried up, but its mission will
have been accomplished. The plants
on which it had gathered will be better
able to endure the scorching heat of
another day, whereas, but for the refresh
ing dew they would droop still more
and die. This, thep, was the mission
of the dewdrop ; toleyivpthe drooping,
dying plant.
May we not learn lessons from the
little dewdrop,? Like it we each have
a mission to fulfill, a work to do. Most
of us perhaps, have silent• missions ; not
such as shall tend to spread our fame
and make us, widely known ; but our
mission may be among the lowly, when,.
unobserved by the busy world, 'we may
,be active, bearing comfort to thesorrow
ful, hope to the boneless, assistance to
the needy. There are many, many dr4iop
ing, dying , ones in life 'to whom a kind
word of sympathy and a pleasant smile
would be as the refreshing dew to 'the
withering flowers.
Let each go forth then and wait upon
his mission, discharging faithfully its
duties, and though the sun of life be too
,hot for him and like the dew he tall ere
the day is spent, yet will:his mission not
have been in vain.
sir A talented African of the' boot
black persuasion, while dancing like St.
Vitus over a custopeis boots the other
day, observed his partner poring wisely
over a newspaper, whereupon the fol
lowing oolloquoy ensued : First mem
ber of thp.firm--"Julius, witat de dpbbil
you lookin at dat paper :.for? You can t
read. Second,.membera—"Go way, fel
lah ; guess Peen read; I se big enough
for d'at. Met' 'meraber—"Dat ain,t
man. •A-cow s big enough to - catch .a
pica, bat she cant iL
“what a fine, head your boy has?”
said -an admiring friend. "Yes," said.
the fond_father, "he !s a chip of the oid
block—ain't, you, my boy ? "Yes, fath
er, teacher said Yesterday 1 afati# i:rnung
blockhead.
ear A rather, was Wia4Ang his watch ,
when he said, playfully i • to his little girl,
'.'Let me wind your nose
- said the. child, "I don't want my nose
d up for I dori't want itto ran'al
day." . -
• 1W Why, has a, ,
of ali'D 3 , l 4 Ppnithßtly
cannot° complain the bafdneei Ohio
107,11 . 00:ese at the beet`of 'times Phis
buil:test ie at a stand. , •
A. Chapter. of Mormon, Life,
The following lifstoiy Of one of the
victims of mormoniom is 'from the St.:
JesePh, Missouri, Herald
Somewhat over one year ago, a young
lady' left her home iii` ketifisylvania—a
home , where-all the of life•were
at her command. • . Her parents were in
dulgent, and she, 'an only child, NM'
loved by them 'with all the. fondness of
true parental affection. No wish of hers
remained ungratified, for she was the
idol of those parents, acid the light of
the hothe made " desolate by an act which
will forever cast its shadow pislher , heart.
In February, 1864, she beezine abquitin i
ted Wail a Miirmen i)reaCher, who Plait : .
ted to her m glowing terms the glories
of Utah and tho'llormon He
told her of the beautiful valleYs'of Utah,
fortified on all sides by giant 'mountains,
whose peaks, burnished by eternal
snows, looked doWn upon the valley of
Verpetual green, peopled by God'if own
chosen kindred, who ; were free as the
mountain torrents that leap the 'rock's
of lofty Timpanago's' range. He told
her of , the content and peace reigning
among the saints,,and assured her• ,that
the Mormons were Grod's own" peculiar
pbople, and so worked upon her imagin
ation, •that Bbe.tioally consented to leave
friends, family and,all the endearments
of home, and go with him to the. Valley
of the Saints. Arriving,at ,Chicago, he
forced her to marry him, the ceremony
being perforwoli by.a, mock Priest, with
out record or license.
In April she left Wyoming, Nebraska,
with a Mormon train, for the land of
-promise, and finally arrived in the city
of the spines. Here she found that her
husband had four other wives, who re
garded her with no tender emotions, but
heaped abase and contumely upon 'her
head: After a few months •her liege
lord =told her he had concluded to seal
her to 'another, who had taken a greet
fancy to her.; that his ether 'wives,were
jealous, and'declared his last 'wife should
live with-him no longer. She .declared
she•Wonld die before ehe•would thus be
put away and forced to live as the wife
Of a man with••whom she had'no acquain
tance, and had Seenibut once. in her life.
Her husband told her that it was Brig
ham's order and she must do so or lose
her, life. Determined not *to be - thus
sacrificed, she started to run away, with
the intention of 'making her way to
Camp Breckenridge, in Cedar Valley,
then garrisoned by United States • trooPs
_and claim protection there. She started
on foot, and after travelling at least ten
miles was caught and 'brought back,
placed in a dungeon, or rather a cellar,
and Was thus kept for 'a month, with
just enoligh-food yto sustain. life. The
.man whom she:refused to live with ire
quently visited .her, and besought.her to
change her resolution in order to save
her life. Througliforce of circumstances
she at last yielded, and-was duly install
‘ed in•the family as his sixth•wife. Here
she found, as before, the' jealousies and
quarrels arising_ were intolerable, and
she again determined to escape- or die
in the attempt. This time she succeed
ed in reaching: the headquarters of Gen
eral Connor, to whom she told her tale
of euffering. The General sent her
through to the States with a GOvern-
Merit train bound for Fort Keitiney,
which place she reached a few week's
ago. She is now in this city which she
she will soon leave, a repentant and sor
roWful child, for hir home in Pennsyl
vania—that home shp,was persuaded to
desert, through- the. misrepresentation
and wiles of a crafty scoundrel: .
sir . We 'pow of an old man who he
lieVed that what was .to tie would be.
He lived in a region infested by very
.region
savage Indians. He always took his
gun with him when..going out into the
woods ; but this time found that - some
of the family had taken it. Aslie would
not go without this .friende tantalized
him by.saying that.there was no danger
-of the - I - di:Hans ; - that he would not die
till his time came, anyhow.. "Yes, yes,'
said theoldfellow ;"'but suppose I was
to meet an Indian, and hie, time had
come, it wouldri t do not to have my
gun.
fir An Irish glazier was' putting in a
pane of glass into„a window, when a
groom. Wl3lB, began to
joke him, Mgr!)
putty. ~:the Irish IVre the,43lßo for
some time, ationgth-lle , ,broke out by
saying `‘Airrah Poo!, ye,ftr
put-ayane , iniour head widont any
Putt , .' %Thetkicial
*le WiiciiP te4 , Bei3v net idßbal _,et;
A.—When it is a little Bui-gic-nt7,
Served Him R i ght.
the Toronto lieadeegives the 'partic- .
niers of a matrimonial radiance, in which'',
a I Terinoit 'Clergyman- 'las' the Main'
character, the denouement of Which was,'
hOweier, anything but`romanticla him
-
1 - i; seems that a faittier in. McHenry .
county, Illinois, named W--; had ad
vertised in a Chicago 'paperlfar it' wife,
which was replied to by a dashing Young'
law student of Toronto, rive-for fun, un
der the name, or Helen,Chrietopher. A,
• warm.correspondence ensued, "Helen"'
imitating•the hand and, style of a lady
anxious to make a good, match, and de
scribing himself as , anorphari , of respec
table family connections, and of .means,
residing in Toronto. The. correspond
ence was finally brOkeO off by' W = --.'s
neglect in paying his postage, whibli in"
Oanoa amounts to something, and he
married - some . one in his own neighbor
hood. - But the sequel contains the pith
of the story: . father, a 'Minis
ter in Vermont, and a widower, by some
means kot hold of "HeleuPe", letters to
his 'soniland. being struck Ewitly her style,
wreter t& her wittua, - view of marrying her
himself Ale told her that •
"I a.minisfer- of 'the 'gospel, Cm un
buiied Ei'lllea little wiffi Tears
ago, and' haVe tie 'c hildien:titaxAheitt
tention ,of a ,companion.• My fainily, is
provided for ind.cif,my beide, I .talk
s.ometimes,of disco utingip&„ preaching,
and of retiring to private Age. f My,age.
people judge to be thirty,tive, although
lam older. I am above the middle
size of menu though nit large ; have
perfect healttl'and a fair position in "so
cieti. 'coMpleiioi is dark, with
dark eyes audlair—hair not tinged with
grey' ii:the least. "What makes my
complexion still darker, 'I - wear"= full
beard and moustache," And:lqueried :
"May I ask my. little.girli (if I may: be
allowed toi calk her , ..so,) - if qotware a
Christian;? If you' can sing and-play on
the melodeon 'lfyon have go o d healthl
What is your complexion ?"
Helen Prolpptlyrepied, and an
mated correspondence erisued, resulting
in the,ReverendMviting himself to visit
Toronto to ohtaithan,ititerview with his
fair ,correspondent. This
,vpps , rather
more than "Helen" desired, and• think-
ing it imprudent to bring the , old man
on a fool'iorrand, some 660 'liaise' from
his "local" 'hibitatiOn, sent him a note
over another name, pretendinet& have
accidentally tOnid ohs of hialefte'is and
to be a rival' of hie for the affection 'et
"Helen," arid threatening him with cas
tigation,incaseatiaLishotild lever , make
his appearatice !Rev. J , .
wrote again, to Helen ' disclaiming .-any
wrong intentions; , and asked if his `rival
should exercise any <control, over. such a
lady. She then i repliedthathe might
come, when hereplo<clAh4 11 9 1 7 0 . 1 4 be
'thereon the 9th:epi9Al of !dab when
he expected to meet his "little
his "dear Helen."- He arrived on the
day appointed, add sent his "little girl"
a note, desiring hetto - ditket him 'at" a
certain hour, on the corner of a'certain
street. He went'," buteaei no 7 one like
the photograph "Helen" had seta: lima,
which was the portrait of :•a prominent
actress. But the eyessf, a large , -Aparty
of "Helen's" 'acquaintances; whovhad
imen let into the secret, were upon 'bird.
He appeared sadly disappointed , ~b eing
fidgety in his movements, castingwistfdl
glances, at the passers, by as he. woroor
naded the streets, while his tormentors,
for such they were, could scarcely con
tain themselves. TheyWereat his side
at "the pest office, in the street, end even
talking with him in the Nohind
ing his "little Helen" he concluded to
leave Wain, but "she" determined 'he
-Should dot-go. until' he bad(learned a les
son. With. his party of frien& , he ep
peered at the station, and stepping up
to the Reverendsentleipan, as hastood
on the car
,platform, he held pa his
hand, shouting,
,"How are you, W., -,-;r7
how is MIN Helen Christopher 7" „
J. W. became pale with rage, stamped
his Mot on the planks; and • with uplifted
hands exclaimed, "You vile rascal,'how
dale `pin play me stich,a' trick 7" ,%itist
then the train started, amid the 'shoe a
of the merty young fellolVii, Tor*
and Hi3lee opher; bearing' off "the
diseOrrifitek foolish old lover; 'e, 3 sadder
and wiser mani l and who probably
never set a wife by!advertising.
lir The age of a young lady is pow
expressed according to 'the 'pretine style
of bY'saiingifia:ttigfitecth ip'rttie
have passed over. 'At TAW, ';
4
ar "Pa, thiiiir.tell itliontk tihetangrt
Pir f A 7 14 t0:4Ft t ist h SOTt l airigia ?"
"06, it boa 4pe,m i croyfd:Ethonfaa t " s
VOL. X1.7--NO. 48.
Schoolroom Exercise.
"john,.boond the State of Matrimo-
DY,"
"The State of Matrimony is bounded
on the North by Solitude, on the East
by double Trouble, on the South by
Soreshins, on the West by Vexation."
"What are its chief products ?"
"Peevish babies, scolding wives, hen
pecked husbands, smoked coffee, burnt
hams, and sour pies."
"What is said of its climate ?"
"It is more varied in its temperature
than. any : other State in existence. In
thatportion of it called the Honey
moon, the climate is salubrious and
healthy- 7 the•atmosphere laden with the
sweets of the #owers of Hymen. In
some,parts ; the inhabitants experience a
freezing cold reception when they ex
pact most warmth, and in some other
parts there Is all the burning sensation
of the Torrid Zone. Sometimes a fel
low'p.hoppeiin the State of Matrimony
gets too hot to hold , him, and, strange
tondy, he travels with all speed, not to,
but from the poles, where coal is goner
alli•supposed to exist."
"Sarah, has .Pohn given a correct out
line of the State of Matrimony ?"
"Can't say, sir—never was in that
State. :Bill Simpkins gave me an invi
tation the other day to travel in it with
him, and when I return I'll answer the
question."
"Well, Sarah, as'you seem to be ig
norant in geography, I will examine
yoU in gtammer. Take the sentence,
`Marriage is a civil contract.' Parse
marriage.
"Marriage is a noun, because its a.
name. And though ' Shakespeare asks
what's in a name, and say's a rose by any
other name would smell as sweet, yet
marriage belug, a noun, and therefore a
name, shows that that the rule establish
e,d by,the bard of Aven has at least one
exception., For marriage, certainly, is
of very,great importance, and being a
nonn, and therefore a name, ergo there
is something in a name."
"Good 1 Well, what is the case of
marriage?"
"Don't know, sir."
"Decline it, and see."
"Don't, feel at liberty to-decline mar
riage after haying made Bill the promise
I have. Had rather conjugate."
"Jane, can you tell Sarah in what case
marriage is ?"
'"Yes, sir, its a very common case,
and I would not care if it were a little
commoner. And I suppose Sarah won't
icie-iharfiedi, 'week before it's in the
ibter's thin."
:(7,an 'you decline Marriage ?"
Jane blushed extremely, and answer-
"Had rather not,' sir."
"Well, sarab, what. person is mar
riage ?"
••Second person, sir; because the per—
son you speak to is one who is going to,
marry."
"Whifnninber is marriage ?"
."Plural number, new, sir, because Bill
and' I itie two at the present time.
Whea the parson ties the hoot, marriage
will , be singular, because the Bible says
that twain shall be one flesh."
"What gender is marriage 2"
"Common gender, because either male
or female may get married."
"Does marriage govern anything, or
dent agree with some things 2"
. i'Bdth, sir. It governs both mankind
'and wOnankind, and as to agreeing, it
'agrees with the world and the rest of
mankind."
"Give your rule."
„",hly rule Is that Bill shan't grumble
if..l buy .two • silk ,dresses, a year, and
shan't have
. but. one teaspoonful of sugar
to two cups of coffee.”
er. At a'printers' festival, the follow
ing sentiment was offered : "Woman—
second only to the press in the dissemi
nation of news I" Another sentiment
was:: '''Woman—she requires no 01110-
64We speaks for herself!" -Another :
"Woman-the - fairest work of creation
the edition being extensive, let no one
be without a copy."
A. toast at an Irish Society's din
ner atTineinnati : "Here's to the Pres
ident' of the'Society, Patrick O'Raferty,
and rosy he , live. to ate the hen that
soratihes: over his. grave."
'*'Love in'•nien is like the distem-
Or - in dOkr," laaid a disappointed spin
sta
“*l•l'iitheit : puppies nor men are
worth anything . till they have had it.,,
ire "I„am a broken man," said a poor
I,,,shotild think," was the
reply, "for I bare seen your pieces."