Newspaper Page Text
BY FRED'K L. BAKER.
For Non-Retention or incontinence of Urine,
Indaznation or Ulceration of the Bladder Or
Kithieys, Diseases of the Prostrate Gland,
Gravel, Brickdust deposits, Dropsical Swell
ings, Organic Weakness, Debility, Fe male
ileiobas Eittia klxfhet
And Improved Rose Wash
Will radically exterminate from the system
Diseases arising from habits of dissipation, at
little expense, little or no change of diet, no in
convenience or exposure ; Completely super
tediog those unpleasant and dangerous remedies
copabia and Mercury, in curing these diseases .
FLUID EXTRACT BUCHU
In all diseases of the Urinary Organs, whether
existing in male or female, from whatever
seise originating, and no matter of how long
standing. It is pleasant in its taste and odor,
immediate in action, and more strengthening
than any of the preparations of bark or iron.
Those suffering from broken down or deli
cate constitutions, procure the remedy at
The Reuter must be aware that however
9;i4ht may be the attack of the above diseas
esol is certain to affect his bodily health,
mental powers and happiness. If no treat
ment is submitted to, Consumption or Insani-
y may ensue.
An the above diseases require the aid of a
lielmbold's Extract Buchu
Is THE GIIEAT DIURETIC
Compound Fluid Extract
SAIt S A AR _T_ LL A,
'or purifying the blood, removing all diseas
arising from excess and imprudence in life,
.runic constitutional diseases arising from an
Impure state of the blood, and the only
and effectual known remedy for the cure
'Scrofula, Scald Head, Salt Rheum, Pains
ad Swelling of the Bones, Ulcerations of the
Throe and Legs, Blotches, Pimples on the
FAN, Tetter, Erysipelas, and all scaly enp
lane of the skin, and beautifying the coniplex-
NOT A FE TV
(lithe worst disorders that afflict mankind
arise from the corruption that accumulates in
tl.e Blood. Of all the discoveries that have
been made to purge it out, none can equal in
Compound Extract of Sarsaparrilla
It cleanses and renovates the Blood, instilsl
le vigor of l E ALT H into the system,
id purges out the humors which make die-,
use. It stimulates the healthy functions of
le body, and expels the disorders that grow
id rankle in the Blood. Such a remedy,
hot could be relied on, his long been sought
.r, end new, for the first timeZ the p üblic
ire one on which they can depend. Our
nice here does not admit of certificates to
low its effects, but the trial of a single. bot
le wit show to the sick that it has virtues
upassing anything they have ever taken.
Two tablcimoonsful of the Extract of Sorsa
''Ha, added to a pint of water, is equal to
'Ashen Diet Drink, and one bottle is equal
gallon of the Syrup of Sarsaparilla, or
decoction as usually made.
The shove Extracts are prepared on purely
iennfie principles—in Yasuo—and embody
e full strength of the ingredients entering in
their composition. A ready and conclusive
st will be a comparison of their properties
th those set forth in the U. S. Dispensato-
HOW TO USE THE REMEDIES.
In diseases of the Blood, Humors on th
ice, or any and every part of the body, us
tract Sarsaparilla, applying to Pimples and
external Humors or Eruptions, the Im
aved Rose Wash.
tie the Extract Buchu for all diseases re
irins the aid of a Diuretic, except those of
Urinary Organs, such as Gonorrhma and
Jet ; in these use the Extract Buchu and in
et With the Improved Rose Wash.
These extracts have been admitted to
le in the United States Army, and also are
very general use in all the state hospitals
d public institutions throughout the land,
well as in p r ivatepractice, and are consid
d as invaluable remedies.
DELIVERED TO ANY ADDRESS.
irect letters to—
HEL MBOLD'S DRUG & CHEMICAL
Broadway, N.Y., next Metropolitan Hotel
OR, TO ELELMBOLDS
South Twit Street, Assembly Buildings,
440 14 BiApietn. in aif aysmanicationa.
SOLD BY AU. DRUGGISTS EVERYWHERE.
Beware of Counterfeits!
ASK Pen NaLlllOll.O%,
Take Sao other.
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AT ONE DOLLAR AND A HALF A YEAR,
PAYABLE IN ADVANCE
Office in " LINDSAY'S BUILDING," second
floor, on Elbow Lane, between the Post
Office corner and Front street,
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Single Copies, with, or without Wt appers,
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A liberal deduction made to yearly end hal
Having just added a " NEWBURY MOUN
TAIN JOBBER PRESS," together with a large
assortment of new Job and Card type, Cuts,
Borders, &c., &c., to the Job Office of " THE
MARIETTIAN," which will insure the f ne and
speedy execution of all kinds of Jon & CARD
PRINTING, from the smallest Cam . to the
LARGEST POSTER, at reasonable prices.
June, fair noontide of the year,
Joy is in thy atmosphere.
Flowers and fruits together born,
Pour from thy prolific horn ;
Perfume, beauty, light and song,
To thy golden reign belong.
June is here
Strawberries in the field are seen
Blushing 'neath t.leir leafy screen ;
Ripening cherries in the lane
Glow like painted porcelain,'
And in yonder meadow, bark I
Sings the yellow-breasted lark,
June is here 1
With their blushing burden stoop
Rose-briers by the cottage stoop ;
Honeysuckles spice the air,
Blooms are opening everywhere,
Round whose nectar caps the bee
Pours his maudlin melody I
June is here 1
Stara, bright isles of heaven's blue sea,
Ye may homes of angels be,
And this planet's landscapes cold
To the scenery ye unfold ;
Yet this world to mortals given
Is to me foretaste of heaven
When June is here
1. Blessed is he who does not make a
cent, for he will have no income tax to
2. Blessed is the bald-headed man, for
his wife cannot pull his hair.
3. Blessed is the homely man, for the
girls shall not molest him; yea, thrice
blessed is he, for when he asketh a lady
to dance she shall answer him, saying,
"I am engaged for the next set."
4. Blessed is he who polishes his boots
and not hie morals, who maketh the
ootside of his head to shine, but neglec
teth the inside thereof, for all the girls
shall rise up with smiles at his coming
and call him beautiful.
5. Blessed is the man who hath no
brains, but brass in abundance, for he
shall be the ladies' favorite. &lab I
6. Blessed is the man who giveth
many and costly presents to young la
dies, for great shall be his reward—in a
7. Blessed is the man who is always
flat broke, for no man sayeth unto him,
"lend me five dollars."
NIGHT THE POOR .MN's FRIEND.—
Night levels all artificial distinction.
The beggar on his pallet of straw snores
as soundly as a king on a bed of down.
Night—kind, gentle, soothing refresh
ing night, the earthly paradise of the
slave, the sweet oblivion of the worn
soul, the nurse of romance, of devotion;
how the great panting heart of society
yearns for the return of night and rest
Sleep is God's special gift to the poor ;
for the great there is no time fixed for
repose. Quiet, they have none; and in
stead of calmly awaiting the approach
of events they fret, and repine, and
starve sleep and chide the tardy hours,
as if every to-morrow were big with the
fate of some great hereafter. The tor
rent of events goes roaring past, keep
ing eager expectation constantly en tip
toe, and drives timid slumber away.
WV A Doctor of Divinity, of Spring
field, Massachusetts, went to Holyoke
to preach last Sabbath, and one of the
newspaper men went to Northampton
by the same train. They changed car
pet bags by mistake, and when the min
ister looked for his sermons ho found a
bottle of whisky. The newspaper man
says that when his bag was returned to
bim the whisky was considerably reduced
"An PrpeOent I,lennsllliattia f arnal int tide Plitt Circle.
MARIETTA,. SATURDAY MORNING, JENE_I7, 1865.
How to Preserve Your Furs
Furs, says a correspondent who seems
thoroughly familiar with the subject,
should never be put away for the sum
mer and forgotten, as they frequently
are, and next to being shut up from the
air, their greatest enemy is damp. If
from the wearer being exposed to rain,
they become wet, they should be dried
at a moderate distance from the fire im
mediately; and in warm weather, when
not required for wear, they should nev
er be shut, in a box or other drawer for
more than a few days at a time, and ev
ery few weeks they should be shaken and
The more delicate skins require some
what more delicate treatment. The
best plan is probably, not to pack furs
away, but let them lie in a drawer or
wardrobe that is constantly being open
ed, so that they may meet the eye fre
quently, and being thus often in sight,
it is easy at convenient opportunities,
to have them taken out and beaten, or,
at any rate, shaken or tossed, and thor
oughly exposed to the air. It is com
mon to hear it remarked, that the moth
gets into furs—as if the insect actually
migrated from one locality to another;
the probability is, however, that furs
and woolens are animal substances, en
dowed with vital principle, which de
velops itself into the living organism
through the decay of its material shape.
Cleanliness and airing are, therefore,
A FRENCH STORY.—An amusing story
is told of a young Parisian artist, who
lately painted a portrait of a duchess,
with which her friends were not satisfi
ed, declaring that it was totally unlike
her. The painter, however, was con
vinced that he had succeeded admirably,
and proposed that the question of re
semblance or no resemblance should be
left to• a little dog belonging to the
duchess ; which was agreed to. Accord
ingly the picture was sent to the hotel
of the lady the next day, and a large
party assembled to witness the test,
The dog was called in ; and no sooner
did he see the portrait than he sprang
upon - it, licked it all over, and showed
every demonstration of the greatest joy.
The triumph of the painter was com
plete ; and all present insisted that the
picture had been retouched during the
night ; which was actually so, the artist
having rubbed it over with a thin coat
ing of lard I The dog's nose was sharp
er than the critics' eyes.
WEALTH.—He is a great simpleton,
who imagines that the chief power of
wealth is to supply wants. In ninety
nine cases out . of a hundred, it creates
more wants than it supplies. Keen are
the pangs of hunger, and sad is the spir
it of him who is sinking into an early
grave, for want of the common necessa
ries of life; but not loss keen are the
mortifications and cares of him, who,
nursed in ease and luxury, is thrown, by
circumstances, into dark perplexities,
which his mental indolence cannot un
ravel, and who is reduced, even to an
apprehension, of the want of those lux
uries, which were to him more than life.
air Avoid disputes altogether, if pos
sible ; especially in mixed companies,
and with ladies. You will hardly con
vince anyone, and may disoblige or star
tle them, and go, yourself the character
of a conceited, pragmatical person.
Whereas, that of an agreeable compan
ion, which you may have without giving
yourself any great air of learning or depth,
may be more advantageous to yon in life,
and will make you welcome in all com
A singular fact is connected with
the growth of the oat in Virginia. The
seed will degenerate, and in the course
of three or four years become cheat, a
kind of birds' grass. To prevent this,
the grain has to be imported each year,
from the North. As no oats have been
imported lately, the crop there this year
will be all cheat. The farmers will cut
this cheat for hay before it ripens, and
next year timothy will spring, up from
the cheat roots.
The dandy who greased his feet so
that he could not - make a noise when he
went to steal chickens, slipped from the
hen roost into the custody of the owner.
He gave, as a reason for his being there,
"Dat he cum dar to see of de chickens
Bleeped with dere eyes open." He was
Recommend to your children vir
tue; that alone can make them happy—
—The most unpopular truth in the
Bible is the record of ladies' ages.
A CUNNING DOG.—The Rev. Dr. Todd
in an essay upon the question "Do Ani
mals Reason ?" tells the following re
markable story :
A dog had been accused of killing
sheep. He add his master were very
fond of each other. It was a long time
ere the owner could be made to believe
the ill report about his favorite. At
last he wee convinced that poor Rover
was guilty. As he could not bear to
kill him himself, he came into the room
one morning and said : "Peter, you may .
take the dog after breakfast and shoot
him. Mind and kill him dead." The
dog was in the room and heard it. In
an instant he darted out of the room
and was off in a straight line. No call
ing or shouting could cause him to turn
his head. Straight as an arrow he shot
across the lots and went out of sight.
Every hour they expected him back.
At night he would certainly come
But no, he never returned. Many
months after that, his master was riding
in a wild, lonely place. Just as ho came
between the two banks through which
the road had been cut, he saw poor Ro
ver standing on one of the banks. His
heart yearned towards his old friend,
and he spoke to him very kindly. But
Rover's heart was hardened. He gave
one growl, snapped his teeth at his old
master, and again scampered off at the
top of bis speed. His master never saw
him again 1 Unforgiving Rover 1 Thy
memory was good, and thy will was
strong, and thine anger lasting.
A COMBINATION.—Some thirty years
ago, in Washington county. N. Y., be
fore ready made shoes came in vogue, a
venerable shoemaker, Old Phcenix, was
in the habit of going from house to house
and there making up boots and shoes
for the families under his jurisdiction.
Among the rest of his customers, he
visited the family of one Mr.*Parish,
and shod old and young. One of the
boys was endowed with a big pair of
stogy boots, and on the succeeding
Sabbath went to church much more oc
cupied with the boots than the sermon.
At the noon intermission, when good
old Dr. Prondfit came around, as was
his custom, to catechise the youngsters,
the boy's thoughts still ran downward.
The old doctor coming up to the boy, in
his turn, inquired of him : "John, who
made you 7" "Daddy found the leather,
and Old Phcenix did the work I" was
the natural but unexpected reply.
UNFORTUNATE. COMPARISON. —A lady
entered a dry goods store in street
and expressed a deldre to see some wool
delaines. The polite clerk, with elegant
address, showed her a variety of pieces
of fine texture and choice coloring. Af
ter tossing and examining to her heart's
content, she remarked i "The goods are
part cotton, sir." "My dear madam,"
returned the shopman, "these goods are
as free from cotton as your breast is—
(the lady starts)—free from guile," he
Mr. Toot coming home late one
night from meeting, was met at the door
door his wife.
"Pretty time of night, Mr. Toot, for
you to come home ; pretty time—three
o'clock in the morning ; you the father
of a family 1"
" 'Tien% three—it's only one, I heard
it strike ; committee always sits till one
"Mr. Toot, you're drunk. It's three
in the morning."
"I say, Mrs. Toot, it's one. I heard
it strike one, as I came around the cor
ner, two or three times." •
It is stated as a new discovery that
wonderful effects may be obtained by
watering fruit trees and vegetables with
a solution of sulphate of iron. Under
this system beans will grow to nearly
double the size, and will acquire a much
more savory taste. The pear seems to
be particularly well adapted for this
treatment. Old nails thrown into water
and left to rust there will impart to it
all the necessary qualifications of forcing
vegetation as described.
Mr. Frederick Grier, a citizen of
Richland township, Bucks county, from
some unknown cause, lost his reason and
became insane. He imagined his
stomach had wasted away, and no per
suasion would induce him to eat any
thing. He lived twenty-two days with
out taking any nourishment or drinking
anything until about thirty-six hours
before his death when he sipped a little
water. He died on the 27th of May.
—You seem animated by this fine
autumn seeps, my dear Annie," said a
lever. "No," said she, "I never shall
be Annie-stated till I become your wife."
PREPARING IN MM.-A young lady
of wealthy parentage, a fledgling from .
one of our fashionable boarding schools,
a type of modern elegance, was recently
united by the silken tie of matrimony
to a gem of a bean. The mammas arid
papas on both Bides being surrounded
by all the concomitants of luxury, and
many an agreeable paraphernalia be
speaking the possession of the 'dust,'
determined to get a 'fine establishment'
for the young couple, and accordingly,
they were 'fixed' in a mansion on Wal
A few days after this, a. school-com
panion of our heroine called upon her,
and was surprised to find so many ser
vants about the house.
"Why, Mary," said she what in. the
name of sense have you so many servants
about you for ?" "Oh !" replied madam,
"we haven't any more than we want.
There is but one cook, one chamberma4
two house girls, one house-keeper, an
—a—child's nurse. I'm sure there are
none too many:'
'Ha! ha'!" laughed her friend, "what
do you want with a child's nurse ? Oh 1
that is too funny."
"Well, we haven't any immediate use
for her, but then, when we were married
Charles said we would want one, and
you know it's not always beet to leave
things until the last moment !"
LEGAL HOLIDAYS.—The Legislature
has established the following as the le
gal holidays :
Any day recommended by the Gov
ernor of this State, or by the President
of the United States, as a day of fasting
or thanksgiving : the 4th day of July ;
the 25th day of December ; the Ist day
of January, and the 22nd day of Febru
ary. When the 4th day of July, or the
25th day of December, or the first day
of January, or the 22nd day of February,
occurs on Sunday, then the ensuing day
(Monday) for all purposes relating to
presenting and protesting, &c., bank pa
per made after the passage of this act,
(March 18, 1865,) is to be treated and
regarded as Sunday, or in other words,
to be the legal holliday, and any such
paper, &c., which falls due on any of the
days thus set apart as holidays, is to be
come due and payable on the succeeding .
Tuesday. This law takes effect on the
first day of August next.
SCHOOL MONTH.—How many days
constitute a School Month has been a
disputed question between teachers and
directors for the last six or eight years.
The Legislature, at its last session, de.
cided the matter by enacting that twen
ty-two days shall constitute the School
Month, but that Saturdays should form
no part of the twenty-two days ; that is,
the schools cannot be kept open on
Saturdays; but they further decided
that if a majority of all the members of
a Board of School Directors chose, they
might appropriate two Saturdays of each
month for Teachers' Institutes, which
two Saturdays, if so appropriated, may
be counted as a part of the twenty-two
air "My son, take that jag, tad get
me some beer."
"Give me some money, then, father."
"My son, to get beer with money—
anybody can do that ; but to get beer
without money, that's the trick."
So the boy took the jug, and out he
goes. Soon he returns, and places the
jug before his father.
"Drink," said the son,
"How can I drink," said the father,
"when there is no beer in the jug ?"
"To drink beer out of a jug," said the
son, "when there is beer, any body can
do ; but to drink beer out of tijug, when
there is no beer, is a trick."
War The water-proof cloak, and shawl
worn by Jeff. Davis at the time of his
capture was presented to the War De
partment, by Col. Pritchard, of the 4tb,
Michigan Cavalry. The cloak was worn
as a skirt, and the shawl as a hood.
The Colonel stated that' under this fe
male apparel Davis wore a full snit of
drab and a pair of cavalry boots. He
also transferred to the Department the
colors of the 150th Pannsylvania volun
teers, found in the baggage of the rebel
party. Both Pas. Davis and Mrs., Ojai
were very defiant and sarcastic.
eir At an evening party, a very elder
ly lady was dancing with a young part
ner. A stranger approached Jerrold'
who was looking on, and said, "Pray, sir,
can you tell me who is the young gentle
men dancing with that elderly 'adz?"
"One of the humane society, I sho*ld
think," replied Jerrold.
tEr The fire that "went out" has re
VOL. XI.--NO. 45.
Stuff for Smiles.
Judge a man by his actions—an
idler by his fingers—a lawyer by his leer
—a player by his strut—a boxer by his
sinews—an Irishman by his swagger—a
Scotchman by his shrug—an Englishman
by his rotundity—an American by hie
boasting— a Justice by his frown—a
great man by his modesty—a fiddler by
his elbow—an editor by his coat—and a
lady by her neatness.
"Why Bridget," said a lady who
wished to rally her servant girl, for the
amusement of company, upon the fan
tastic ornamenting of a huge pie, "did
you do this ? You're quite an artist.
Pray how did you do it ?"
"Indade, mum, it was myself that did
it," replied Bridget. "Isn't it pretty ?
I did it with your old false teeth, mum."
Doctor, I want you to prescribe
for me." The doctor feels her pulse.
"There is nothing the matter, madam ;
you only need. rest." "Now doctor,
just look at my tongue ; now say, what
does that need ?" "I thing that needs
rest too." Exit madam in a state of
—Two lawyers having a dispute,
one said to the other, who was a dwarf:
"If you are not more civil I'll put you
'in my pocket." "In that case," replied
the little one, "you will have more law
in your pocket than you ever had in your
-- Selwyn once affirmed, that no wo
man ever wrote a letter without a poet
script. "My next shall refute you,"
said the lady. Selwyn soon after re
ceived a letter from her lady-ship, and
after her signature : "P. S. Who was
right now, you or I ?"
'One word more, and I have done.'
How we dread to hear this sentence
from the lips of a public speaker at pub
lic meetings ! It is always a sure indi
cation that he is bracing up for a fresh
A cobbler once returned thanks
through the newspapers to the fire de
partment for saving his stock. This
caused great laughter, till a person ob
served that his stock was his awl.
-- The Pottsville Journal has the fol
lowing curious notice :—"Wanted, a
nurse to take charge of a basket of chil
dren, left at this office a short time
Lord Byron once said, "Yon nev
er know a man's temper until you have
been imprisoned on board of a ship with
him, or a woman's until you have mar
An exchange says the beet cure
for palpitation of the heart is to leave
off hugging and kissing the girls. If
this is the only remedy, we say, "let
—" Ben," said a father, the other day,
"I'm busy now, but, as soon as I can get
time, I mean to give you a flogging."
"Don't hurry yourself, pa," replied he,
"I can wait."
-- "How strange it is," said Pat as
he tugged along on foot one hot sultry
day, "that a man never meets a team
going the same way he is 1"
A coal oil millionaire has named
his little heiress Petrolia Ann. We
suppose the next little heiress will be
named Carrie Sene.
There is a man out west whose
memory is so short it only reaches to
his knees, consequently he never pays
for his boots.
Josh Billings says, "God save the
phools, and don't let 'em run out, for if
twan't for them wise men couldn't get a
A Frenchman, having a weakness
in his chest, told his physician he felt a
bad pain in his portmanteau !
Keep thy feet dry, thy skin clean,
thy digestion regular, thy head cool, and
, a fig for the doctors. " '
When Grant proposed to "fight it
out on this HBO," did he mean Jeff's
Sausage makers, do not often get
rich, but. they contrive to make both
The tongue was intended as a di
vine organ, but the devil often plays
What ie the beet cloth for keeping
'oar soldiers warm? Drilling.
= What trade is the Sant—A tanner