BY FRED'K L. BAKER.
SUPPLEE & ERO„ cje s
IRON AND BRASS
lo OTINDERS
And General Machinists, Second sired,
Below Union, Columbia, Pa.
They are prepared to make all kinds of Iron
Castings for Rolling Mills and Blast Furnaces,
Pipes, for Steam, Water and Gas ; Columns,
Fronts, Cellar Doots, Weights, &c., for Buil
dings, and castings of every description ;
STEAM ENGINES, AND BOILERS,
IN THE MOST MODERN AND IMPROVED
Manner; Pumps, Brick Presses, Shafting and
Pulleys, Mill Gearing, Taps, Dies, Machinery
for Mining and ,Tanning ; Brass Bearings,
Steam & Blast Gauges, Lubricators, Oil Cocks,
Valves for Steam, Gas, and Water; Brass Fit
tinge in all their variety; Boilers, Tanks, Flues,
Heaters, Stacks, Bolts, Nuts, Vault Doors,
Washers, &c.
BLACKSMITHING in GENERAL.
From long experience in building machinery we
patter ourselves that we can give general satis
faction to those-who may favor us with their
orders. la—Repairing promptly attended to.
Orders by mail addressed as above, will meet
with prompt attention. Prices to suit the times.
Z. SUPPLEE,
T. R. SUPPLEE.
Columbia. October 20. Is6o. 14 tf
JACOB HARLEY,
'7?
SUCCESSOR TO
STA.UFEER & HARLEY,
No. 622 Market-Street, PHILADELPHIA.
Dealer in Fine Gold and Silver
WATCHES, SOLID SILVER-WARE,
Fine Gold Jewelry,
and the best make of Silver-Plated Ware
Constantly onhand a large ssortment of the
above goods AT LOW PRICES.
Watches and fine Clocks repaired by skill
ful workmen; also, Jewelry repairing; En
graving and all kinds of }lair-Work to order
at short notice.
ry-• Don't fwget the old stand, Number 622
Market street, Philadelphia.
April 9,1864.-3 m S and F]
fIEO ; W. r.VORRALL,
Ur SURGEON DENTIST,
Having removed to the Rooms formerly occupier
by Dr. , ',lsentzel, adjoining Spangler ¢ Pat
terson's Store,Market Street, where he is now
prepared to wait on all who may feel
disposed to patronize him.
6 Dentistry in all its branches car•
rid. on. TEETH inserted on the most approv,ed
principles of Dental science. All operations
on the mouth performed in a skillful and
workmanlike manner—on fair principles and
ON VERY REASONABLE TEAMS.
Having
. determined upon a permanent loca
tion at this nlarP, would ask a continuation
of the lildr ronage heretofore extended
to him, fur v. nich he will render every possi
ble satisfaction.
rr Ether administered to proper persons
MARIETTA MARBLE YARD.
Michael Gable Agt
MARBLE MASON AND STONE CUTTER.
Opposite the Town Hall Park, jk,,.
Marietta, Pa. •
,
rriHE Marble business in all its branches,
will be continued at the 'old place, near
the Town Hall and opposite -EU tik!s Cross Keys
Tavern, where every deserip#On of marble
work will be kept on hand or made to order at
short notice and at very reasonable prices.
' Marietta, June. 29, 1861. 49-1 y
First National Bank of Marietta
pins BANKING ASSOCIATION
_LEAVING COMPLETED ITS ORGANIZATION
is now prepared to transact all kinds of
BANKING BUSINESS.
The Board of Directors meet weekly, on
Wednesday, for discount and other business.
1138ank Mours : From 9e.mto3 P. M.
JOHN HOLLINGER, PRESIDENT.
AMOS BOWMAN, Cashier.
Marietta, July 28, 1863.
READY ROOFING
- Ready to nail down.
READY ROOFING •
At less than half the cost of tin . roofs,
READY ROOFING- •
More durable than tin.
READY ROOFING
Suitable for steep or fiat roofs.
IREADY ROOFING
For all kinds of buildings, in all climates.
READY ROOFING
Easily, cheaply, and quickly put on. Needs
no coating over unth cement after it
is naslad down.
READY ROOFING
Made of a strong woven fabric, thoroughly
saturated and covered upon both surfaces
with a perfectly water-proof composition,
and put up in rolls ready for use-40 inch
wide, and 75 feet long.
We also manufacture
LIQUID CEMENT,
For Leaky Tin Roofs,
Much cheaper and more durable than oil paint.
ALSO.
COMPOUND CEMENT,
For Leaky Shingle noels, which will often
save the cost of a new roof.
Sample of Ready Roofing and Circulars een
by mail when desired.
Favorable terms made with responsible par
ties who buy to sell again.
READY ROOFING CO.,
7 73 Maiden Lane, N. Y.
The, Grla - Lz Fierr'3%-•-
Formerly Keesey's,
opipOSITZ MARIETTA-.
THIS old Ferry —one of the oldest and most
safe crossings on the Susquehanna River—
now In charge 'of the underaigned, who lids
refitted the old and built new boats, which will
enable him to do ferrying with safety and die.
patch. No unnecessary delay need be endured.
Sober and experienced Ferrymen always en
gaged. No imposition in charges as the fol
lowing list will show
Farm Wagons, each $1:00
Horses, per head :25
Single horse and rider, :25
Two.houe Carriage and two persons, 1:00
Buggy, horse and two persons, : 50
Foot Passengers, each, :12
.Stook of all kinds at the old charges.
All Luggage over fifty pounds, 2n centsiper
100 pounds extra.
July 15,11863. JOHN ECKERT.
T YON'S Periodical Drops, and Clark's Fe
jrnale Pills, at The Golden Mortar.
DUY one of those beautiful SOFT
I) HATS at Canes, 92 Market-st. jeg,
C)/t
. .I';lti atittiail.-,
_
JOHN CRUEL,
• Osoarti rat ,Zfliteit,
NO. 92 MARKET STREET, MARIETTA.
Takes this means of informing his old cus
tomers and the public generally, that he has
re-taken the old stand (recently occupied by
George L. Mackley,) and is now permanently
fixed to prosecute
THE BATTING BUSINESS
TIT ALL ITS HAA.NCEMS.
Having' just returned from the city where
he selected a large, varied and fashionable
assortment of everything in' the
HAT AND CAP LINE,
and now only asks au examination of his
stock and prices, before purchasing elsewhere.
Having also laid in a stock of Ratting mate
rial, he-will be enabled, at short notice, to
manufacture all qualities—from the common
Soft to the most Fashionable Silk Hat.
Y:mploying none but the best of workmen,
and manufacturing -good goods at low prices,
he hopes to merit and receive a liberal share
of public patronage. 313 - The highest price
paid for Furs—in trade or cash.
THE COLUMBIA INSURANCE CO.,
Of Columbia, Lancaster County,..Penna.
FOURTH 'ANNUAL 'REPORT.
Whole amount insured, $2,604,435 68
Whole amount of Premium Notes, 255,931 46
Bal. Cash Premiums,
January 1, 1863, $2,120 31
Rec'pts for premiums,
less Agt's commiss
ions in 1863, 9,382 45
Receipts for Assessments
less Agt's coinmisaions
in 1863, 2,385 02
-- $13,837 79
Losses and expenses paid
in 1863, 910,133 32
Bal. of Premiums, Jan. 1,
1864, 3,754 47
--- $13,887 79
A. S. GREEN, PRESIDENT,
GEORGE YOUNG, Jr., Secretary.
MICHAEL S. SHUMAN, Treasurer.
DIRECTORS:
Robert T. Ryon, John W. Steacy,
John Fendrich, H. G. Minich,
Samuel F. Ram loin, Michael S. Shuman.,
Michael S. Shuman, S. C. Slaymaker,
George Young, Jr., Nicholas Mc Donald
Edmund ,Spering, Amos S. Green.
A GENCY OF THE
UTCH - E AST _INDIA
.COFFEE COMPANY.
.......
DEPOT :-168 READE-ST., N. Y.
The above Company are known all over:the
world as the owners of the Coffee Plantations
of Java, and Batavia in the Dutch East Indies,
and are the largest monopolizers of Coffee en
the Globe.
The undersigned (who is appointed their
sole Agent in the United States and in the
British Colonies) will have for sale three dif
ferent Itindi of COFFEE, which, for regular.
ity of.grade and cheapness of price, will defy
competition.
Our " BA TA VIA 6OFFEE" never before
introduced in this country, but extensively
used in the Armies and Navies of Europe and
richly valued, will be put up at prices to come
within the reach of all consumers, and our
EXTRA JAVA will be the Magnum Bonum
Coffee of the age.
We will have, for accommodation of Gro
cers, Families and .
Government Contractors,
samples (dry, and drawn) for testing.
OrdPrs.solicitsd. Op receipt of cash, Coffee
promptly forwarded as directed.
A. LIPPMAN, 16S Reade-st., N. Y.
Sole Agent, D. E. I. C. Company.
JOHN BELL. Merchant Tailor,
Car. of Market-st., and Elbow Lane, Marietta
RATEFUL for past favors I would retuir
lljr my thanks to my numerous friends and pa
trons and inform them that I still continue the
old business at the old "stand, where I will be
pleased to see them at all tunes, and having a
full and splendid assortment of
CLOTHS, CASSIMERES & VESTINGS,
which will be made up to order at the shortest
notice by the best of workmen, and on reasona
ble terms, I would be pleased, therefore, to wait
upon my old customers and all who see proper
o patronize me hereafter: rOct.29-'56.
A LEXANDER LYNDSAY, 41 1 W
Fashionable
Boot and Shoe Manufacturer,
MARKET STREET, MARIETTA, PENN.
Would most respectfully inform the citizens
of this Borough and neighborhood that he has
the largest assortment of City made work in
his line of business in this Borough, and be
ing a practical BOOT AND SHOE MAKER
himself,is enables to select with more iudgmepP
than those who are not. He continues to man
ufacture in the very best. manner everything
in the _BOOT AND SHOE LINE, which he
will warrant fox neatness and good fit.
1:Mal1 and examine his stock before imr-.
chasing elsewhere.
Black Hawk Iron Ore Washer. •
TE undersigned having just completed new
paterns for the manufacture , of the eele
butted Black'Hawk Iron Ore Washer. He
has removed several objections tolhe old pat
ern, and now feels certain of being l able to
wash oneLthird more iron ore per day, and
much cleaner. Machines manufactured' and
put up anywhere desired at_ the .shortest no-,
tice, and the working of the'machine guarran-'
teed. He can refer, by permission, to:Col.,'
James Myers, of I onegal Furnace, Marietta,
and to James L. Stiltz, Esq., adjoining Mari
etta. .Address
SAMUEL HOPKINS,
Marietta, Lanaster Co., Pa
PORTABLE PRINTING OFFICES.
the use" of Bier:
into, Druggists
all business And
..fessionable men
lo wish to do theii.
'n printing, neat-
Ind Cheaply. A.
ined to the.print
g e f
iillheads, Circulars,
, Newspapers. Full
. -
instructions accompany each . offiCe enabling a
boy ten years old to week them successfully.
Circulars sent free. Specimen sheets of Type,
Cuts, &c. 5 6 cents. - Address,
._, • ADAMS?, PRESS CO.
31 Park Row; N. Y.,_fuld 55 Linceln-st.,
Boston, Masi. :26 lY
3000 P 0 U NDS ETRA .SUGAR-'u
cured 'Hattie and Dried Beef for
J. R-.-,DIb'PENBACEPS.
sale at
ICE COLD CS.EAM MEAD , made of
I Lebanon County Honey s at 'WOLFE'S.
Ptptdatt pnusgibania gonna! for tht Nome Gale.
MARIETTA, SATURDAY MORNING, OCTOBER 8, 1864.
EIIBI,ASHED * WEEKLY
-gtg• late P-6
AT ONE,; OLIAR AND A RALF A YEAR,
PAYABLE IN ADVANCE.
Office in "on:di's Row," on Front street, five
doors East of Flury's Hotel. •
Single Copies, with, or without Wrappers,
FOUR CENTS.
ADVERTISING RATES: (lite square (10
lines, or less) 50 cents for the first insertion and
'25 cents for each subsequent insertion. Pro
fessional and Business caldB, of Six lines or less
at $5 per annum. Notices in the reading col
umns,five cents a-line.. Marriages and Deaths,
the simple announcement, FREE ; but for any
additional lines, five cents a line.
A liberal deduction made to yearly and half
yearly advertisers.
Haying just added a " NEWBURY Mona . -
TAIN JOBBER PRESS," together with a large
assortment of new Job and Card type, Cuts,
Borders, &c., &c., to the Job Office of " THE
MARIETTIAN," which will insure the fine and
speedy execution of all kinds of JOB & CARD
ParKTING, from the smallest Card to the
:ST POSTER, at reasonable prices.
LAR
gbt _Buttlor's•
I've been irolove some fifty times—
Perhaps with fifty minxes—
From ladies like a floor barrel,
To ladies like the Sphynxe',
And some of them , had soft blue eyes,
Which turn'd my,head with wonder,
And others were of deepest black,
And they my heart did sunder !
Some were as fair as lilies white,
And others like tomatoes;
Some were as soft as July shad,
And others like potatoes;
Some lisp'd and spoke of days gone by,
Love letters without number_;
Some sighed, and in your arms they fell,
But it was not to slumber,
Some had cheeks like new washed sheets
An some as red as roses ;
Some had sweet lips like cherries ripe;
.And some had cherry noses 1
Some had fine forms from Venus' mould,
And some from 'tub and barrel;
Some softly squeez'd your either hand,
And others tried to quarrel.
But .I have cast them all away,
And would as many. more ;
And scatter them on either side,
Like sea-weed °tithe shore ;
For they have often made me think
Of pistols, rivers, halters ;
And I have thought to kill myself,
For men's confounded daughters 1
And now I am a bachelor,
And live all snug and, quiet,
Except when with the cats I do
hick up au awful riot I
I do not think of tender sighs,
Or make myself look thinner ;
For all my romance and my loves,
Are wasted on my dinner 1
ii?
Is it to go to church to-day,
To look devout and seem to pray;
And ere to•morrow's MD goes down
Be dealing slander through the town ?
Does every sanctimonious face
Denote the certain reign of grace ?
Does not a phiz that scowls, at sin
Oft veil hypocrisy within?
la it to make our daily walk,
And of•our own good deeds to talk,
Yet often practice secret crime,
And thuii mis-spend Our precious time?
Is it for sect and creed'to fight,
To call our zeal the rule of right,
When what we wish is, at the best,
To see our charch excel the rest?
18 it to,wear the Christian dress,
And love to all mankind profess,
To trent with scorn the humblepoor,
A.nd•bar.against them every door ?
Oh, no ! religion means not this :
Its fruit more
.ewee.t.nna fairer id—
Its precept this,: to others do
4s yon.w r onlo . haye them dp•to you.
It grieies to hear an ill report,
And scorns with human woes to, sport
Of others' deeds it speaks no ill,
Bat tells of gad or else keeps still.'
And does religion this impart?
Then may its influence fill my. heait
Oh! haste the blisefnl, joyful day,
When all the earth 'may pwn it's,eway
'ear It is important.to have 7 an um
brella in a shower, dinner when you are .
huagry, and a-long boatin a squall i but ,
the Most important of all' to it nice
youpg gentleman is a nice young lady
to say ntes° at the right tithe.
-ice The -Richmond Sentinel- of Sep
iembarsth Gaya the Chicago nomination
is an "accommodation train.".
GIRL IN nisGulßE.—The citizens of
Berkshire county, Massachusetts, are
jest now excited over a sudden and sin
gular death which occurred in Lanes
boro' recently. A boy giving the name
of Henry E. Goodwin, recently made
application to the Briggs Iron Works
for work, and, although they were not in
need of help, he pleaded so hard that
employment was finally given him. His
superior intelligence, 'modesty, and free
dom from profanity and coarseness, and
his great industry, all conspired to win
the favor of his employers, who spoke
of it to several gentlemen of the village,
who also became interested in , his ap
pearance. Shortly after commencing
'work he was taken ill, and repaired to
Munson's Hotel, where, in order to be
apart from other boarders, he had a bed
made iii the garret. The care he re
ceived was not the best, and the patient
giew rapidly .worse, when a physinian
was finally eent for, who wished to ex
amine his bowels, to see if they were
bloated, but Henry objecting,- the doc
tor did not insist. The next day he was
worse, and on Monday the doctor found
his case hopeless. He being insensible,
the doctor made an examination' and
discovered that his patient was a woman
—During the night , the . patient contin
ued insensible or deranged, and died at
seveiro'clock on Tuesday morning. An
inquest was held, at which it was ascer
tained that the deceased worked about
a week for a Mr. Barton in Dalton, at
farming, then came to Pittsfield and
worked for Amos Shepardson, farming,
at a dollar and a half a day, four days,
but left as she could' not do haying.
She then applied for work at the Iron
Works in Lanesboro', and with the sad
result narrated above. The Pittsfield
Eagle says that everywhere she conduc
ted herself with extreme' modesty and
propriety, ehowed great industry:
From letters found' among her effects,
she appears to have been the' wife Of
Leeman Underhill, "a' soldier or officer
in Battery D,' First Wisconsin Heavy
Artillery, lately stationed at Fort Jack
son, New Orleans.—The letters are ad.
dressed "Dear Julia and Children."
The first ones speak of having sent her
money, with some doubt, in one caie,
whether.it was honestly delivered. The
late ones speak of want, not having been'
paid, sickness, &c., and at least intimate
& request for money.—She sent money
away at two different times, at least—
probably to her husband, and perhaps
to her children—and there seems little
doubt that she - assumed her disguise in
order to procure more remunerative pay,
and died from overexertion for those
she loved. Her conduct throughout ap
pears to be beyond reproach. A fine
bowie-knife, ground very sharp, was
found among her effects, and was doubt
less intended for defence against insult.
From passages in the letters, we infer
that 'she may have been a native of
Maine and removed to Wisconsin.
cas Mrs. Crocodile is an absent-mind
ed lady. She bought a new bonnet not
long since, and the first time she wore
it on the street, she thought every one
would surely notice it, of course. Pres
ently she met Mrs. Simbkins, who stop
ped her with a "Good morning, Mrs.
Crocodile." "I bo'ught it only a few,
weeks ago." "How is your family ?"
"One hundred dollars." Mrs. S. per
ceived that the mind =of Mrs.'-C: was on
!her bonnet, and tried her once more.
"Anything new, - Mrs Crocodile?" "Yes
the feather is new, too—a new bonnet
altogether." And so they parted.
One evening Doggies Jerrold was
at a party were, several other literary
men and publishers .were asserakled,
and the conversation turned upon epi
taphs. Jerrold gave, his opinion that
an epitaph should not &mast of more
than one or two words, including the
name. When the laugh had subsided,
for no one dreamed that he was in earn
est, Charles Knight, who was present,
handed apiece of paper and a pencil to
Jerrold, and togged lain to write his
(Knight's). epitaph.' Jerrold took 'the
payer and instantly wrote down two
simple WordS : "Prood *night I"
fir A dried=up, herring-faced, gimlet
eyed. old bacbelor says h e don't' wonder
at so-many`of the young veterans get
ting married.' 'He nays' one, who has
faced a cannon's month and heard a
thnneend,ef,tbcp,444 91 once, cap, never
be frightened I ,by a Woman. Thd old'
,He opght to be compelled to
climb a shellbark hickory tree.
Fooratia.--Two young ladies hating
each otlier - on 'abcount 'of- a gentleman
who don't care a fig for either.
SEASONABLE HINTS.-At this season
many persons contemplate travelling;
to do so with the largest amount of com
fort and advantage, physical, social and
mental, the following suggestions are;
made :
Take, one fourth more money than
your actual estimated expenses.
Acquaint yourself with the geography
of the route and region of travel.
Have a good supply of small, change
and have no bill or piece higher than
ten dollars; that you may not take coun
terfeit change.
Dress substqathilly ; better too warm
for two or three hours at noon than , be
too cool 'for the remainder of the twenty
four.
Arrange, under all circumstances, to
be at the place of starting fifteen or
twenty minutes before the time, thus al
lowing for the,unavoidable or unantici
pated detention on the way.
Do not commence a day's travel' be
fore breakfast, even if it , has to be eaten
at daylight. Dinner or supper, or both,
can be more healthfully dispensed with
than a good warm breakfast.
Put your purse and watch in your
vest pocket, and all under your
and you will not be likely to leave
either.
One of the most secure fastenings of
your chamber door, is a common Bolt an
the inside; if there is none, lock the
door, turn the key • so that it pan be
drawn partly,—and put the wash basin
under it, thus an attempt to use a jimmy
or put in another key, will push it out,
and cause a racket among the crockery
which will
, be pretty certain to rouse
the sleeper and rout the robber'.
A sixpenny sandwich eaten leisurely
in the cars, is better for you than a dol
lar dinner bolted at "station."
. Take with, you a month's supply of
patience and always: think thirteen
times before you reply once , to, any sup-
polled rudeness or inattention. ,
Respect yourself by exhibiting the
manners of a gentleman and lady, if yon
wish to be treated as such, and then
von will receive the respect of others.
WomEN Rath]) Walt .Cara.—Every
woman must have a best parlor, with
liEkir-cloth furniture, and •a photographic
book ; she must have a piano, or some
other cheaper substitute ; her little
girls must have-embroidered skirts, and
much matheinaticel kribieledge ; her
husband must have two .or three meals
every day Of his life; and yet her houSe
must be in perfect , orderearly . in the af
ternoon, and she prepared to go out and
pay calls, with a black silk dress, and
card case, In the evening she ; ;;:fell - go
to a concert.or.lecture, and then, at the
end of all, she will very possibly„set up
after midnight , with her sewing machine,.
doing extra work to pay forlittle.Ella's
music lessons. this every "capable"
woman will do or die I She . doesit; and,
dies, and then we are astonished that
her vital energy.giveir out sooner than
that of an Irish woman in a' shanty,
with no ambition on earth hut to supply
her young Patricks with adequate pota-.
toes.—T. 1V Higginson.
Cr An old clergyman one Sunday,
at the close of the sermon, gave notice'
to the congregation that in the course
of the week he epected to go on a
mission to the heathens. Ono" of his
parishioners, in great tigitation'e* . c , laim
ed. "Why my dear; Sir, Yon never told
ns one word of this, before't what shall
we do 1" "Oh, brother,". said the par- .
son, "I don't e4pC4 - to go out' of this'
town !"
Cr "People may saYmhat , they , wili
about country air being so good foF
said Mrs. Piniington, "and how - they
can fat on it ;- for my part, I think it is
owing to the vittlds. Air may do for
camomiles and Other reptiles' that life
on it. Bat I know that then mit liave
something more substaotialler."' .
Ggr Joy is one of the, greatest panace
as of life. No joy is more healthful
_or
better calculated to prolong life, than
that which is to be found in.domestic
happiness, in the company of zood and
cheerful men, and in contemplating with
delight the beauties of Nature..:'
gir Why has a Clock atare.ys a . baahlal
appearance?
Ansierl—Because lei3pa its Eftr i oi
bcfoic its face. .
erWhen it n man overhead and ears
in debts?
'Whet( he :his a hat on which isikot
paid f 04... • • '• .• •
Air , Some : one nays . that those, who
are crying fdr penee, misspell flie‘wOr'd
it is pleAe not peace, they want.
VOL. XL--NO. 10.
uponMl)3.2 q , ruib 31t14in.a
They say we are to young •to love—
Too wild to be united ;
In scorn they bid us both renounce
The fond vows we have plighted.
They send thee forth to see the world,
Thy love by absence trying ;
Then go ; for I can smile farewell—
Upon thy truth relying.
I know that Pleasure's hand will throw
Her silken nets about thee ;
I know how lonesome I shall find
The long, long days without thee.
But in thy letters there'll be joy ;
The reading—the replying,
I'llkisseaph word that's traced by thee ;
Upon thy truth relying.
When friends applaud thee, I'll sit by,
In silent rapture gazing ;
And oh how proud of being loved
By her they have been praising !
But should Destraction breathe thy name
The world's reproof denying,
I'd love thee—land thee—trust thee still
Upon thy truth relying.
E'en those who smile to see us part,
Shall see us meet with wonder ;
Such trials only make the heart
That truly loves grow fonder.
Our sorrows past shall be oar pride,
When with each other viewing ;
Thou wilt confide in him, who lives
Upon thy truth. relying.
SENSIBLE OLD LADY.-A. deaf old lady
who had brought an action for damages
against a neighbor, was being examined,
when the Judge suggested a compromise,
and instructed counsel to ask what she
would take to settle the matter.
"What will you take ?" asked the coun
sel of the old lady. She shook her
head at the counsel, informing the jary,
in confidence, that she was "very hard
o' hearin'." "His' Honor wants to know
.what you will take r' asked the learned
counsel again, this time bawling as loud
as he could in the old lady's ear.
"I thank his Honor, kindly," said the
ancient dame, "and if it's no inconweni
ence to him; I'll , take a little warm ale."
air In an Eastern town the posto3as.
ter has; by skillful manouvering, man
aged, to retain his offiec from the time
of Harrison and Tyler, down to the
present 'day. Being asked how he man
aged to keep' his office through so many
changes'of Administration, he replied
that w"it would take a mighty smart
Administration to change quicker than
he could."
ollir The other day several gentlemen
were discussing the alarming prevalence
of the crime of wife.desertion, women
sleeping with other men, &c., when a
well known Teuton, who had been listen
ing with great attention stepped up,
and in an excited manner said, "If my
wife runs away mit anoder man's wife,
I will shake.him out of her preches, if
she been mine own fader."
A Jerseymau was very sick, and
Wag not 'expected to recover. His
friends got around his bed and one of
them - says :
"John, do you feel willing to die?"
John' "Made an effort" to give his
views on.the subject, and answered with
his feeble vbice--
"I—thinkz•-••I'd rather stay—where—
is better acquainted."
r,'. Few have a more ready excuse
for their homage than the Grecian sage,
who, being asked why philosophers al
ways ran after rich men, while rich men
never courted philonophprs, replied, "be
cause the latter know they want money,
while the 'former haven't sense enough
to know they want wisdom."
The following is a verbatim copy
of ,the certificate attached to the return
of, a, Postmaster in Shawnee county,
Missouri :
' 6 l hereby certifiy that the four goin
A Counte is as near Rite as I kno how
to makeit if there is any mistake it is
not Dun riurpers."
The , following stanza, on the
marriage o> !Lenten. Wise, with Martha
Cheeyis,“.exceedingly well told and
witty:
"At length she seized the proffered prize
A happy one, .believe us
For tnatriuiony made her Wise—
Before she was Miss Cheevis."
-w LA good deal of consolation offer
ed in this !World, is abontas solacing as
the assurance given- by the Irishmen to
his wife, when she fell into the river :
"Yon will find ground at the bottom,
my dear."
Air One fellOwnays, when his stock
ings 'wear. out, be. Sewn. up the toes
straight across atal 4 puts theni 6 bis
feet, the other wag mating a good
St foll',i3quared took bent?.
er t ffa am on the iraiVor a dear." as
the fellow said .when hea3tepped 'on one
of the female street sweepers.