BY FRED'K L. BAKER.
D LHOOFLAND'S
GERMAN BITTERS,
Prepared by Dr. C. M. Jackson,
Philadelphia, Pa.
IS NOT A BAR-ROOM DRINK, OR A
SUBSTITUTE FOR RUM,
Or an Intoxicating Beverage, but a highly con
centrated Vegetable Extract, a -Pure Tonic,
free from alconolic stimulent or injurious drugs,
and will effectually curd
Liver Complaint, .
Dyspepsia, and
Jaundice.
11091 1 LAVEt'S GE11111.411 BITTERS
WILL CURE EVERY CASE OF
Mimic or Nervous Debility, Disease of the
Kidneys, and Diseases arising from a
Disordered Stomach.
onsEavE THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS
resulting from disorders of the digestive organs:
Constipation, In ward Piles, Fu.ness ur blood
to the Head, Acidity of the Stomach, Nausea,
Heartburn, Disgust for Food, Full*s or
weight'in the Stomach, sour eructations, sink
qng or fluttering of the Pit of the Stomach,
swimming of the Head, hurried and difficult
areathing, fluttering at the heart, choking or
suffocating sensations when in a lying posture,
dimness of vission, dots or webs before the
sight, fever and dull pain in the head, defici
ency of perspiration, yellowness of the skin
and eyes, pain in the side, back, chest, limbs,
&c., sudden flushes of heat, burning in the flesh,
constant immaginings of evil, and,great,de
pression of spirits.
HOOFLAND'S GERMAN BITTERS
WILL GIVE YOU
A Good Appetite,
Strung !'serves,
Healthy Nerves,
Steady Nerves,
Brisk Feelings, •
Energetic Feelings,
Healthy Feelings,
A Good Constitution, . •
A Strong Constitution,
A Healthy Constittitiot
A Sound Constitution
WILL MAKE THE WEAK STRONG,
Will make the
Delicate Hearty,
Will make the
Will make the
Depressed Lively;
Will make the
Sallow Complexion Clear,
Will make the Dull eye •
Clear and Bright.
Will prove a blessing in .every family.
- altotCwr be udeilcivitilieviiscorxikale
or Female, Old or Young.
1-',I.Ii,TIC ;1,1-% NOTICE.
There are many preparations sold outlet the
name of Bitters, put up in quart bottles, com
pounded of the cheapest Whiskey or common
Bum, costing from 20 to 40 cents per gallon,
he taste disguised by Anise or Corianderseed.
This class of Bitters has caused and will con
.inue to cause, as long as they can be sold *
.tundteds to die tte death of a drunkard. by
their use the system is kept continually under
the influence of alcoholic stimutuots of the
worst kind, the desire for liquor is createt and
kept up, and the result is all the horrors at
tendant upon u drunkard's lite and death. Be
ware of them.
For those who desire and will have a liquor
bitters, we publish the following receipt:
Get one bottle Hog /lanes German Bitters and
mix with three quarts of good Whiskey or
Brandy, and the result will be a preparation
that will far excel in medicinal virtues and
true excellence any of the numerous liquor
bitters in the market, and will cost -much less.
You will have all the virtues of Roofiand's Bit
ters in connection with a good article of liquor
and eta much less price then these inferior
preparations will cost you.
DELICATE CHILDREN.
Those suffering from maramus, wasting
away, with scarcely any flesh on their bones,
are cured in a very short time; one. bottle in
such cases, will.have most surprising effect.
bk:BILITY,
Resulting from Fevers of any kind—these bit
ten will renew your strength in a short time.
Favna AND AGSM—The chills will not re
turn if these Bitters-are used. No person in a
fever and ague district should be without them
From Rev. J. Newton Brown, D. D.. Editor
of the Encyclopedia of Religious Knowledge.
Although not disposed to favor or recommend
Patent Medicines in general, through distiast
of their ingredientetind effects ; f yet know
of no saki nt reason why a man ma) not tea
tify to the benefits liebelieves himself to have
received from any simple preparation, in the
hope that he may thus contribute to the bene-
At of others.
I do this more readily in regard to Hoofland's
German Sitters, prepared by Dr. C. M. Jackson
because I was prejudiced against them for a
number of years, under the impression that
they were chiefly an alcoholic mixture. lam
indebted to my friend Itob't Shoemaker, esq.,
for the removal of this prejudice by proper
tests, and for encouragement to try them, when
suffering from great and long debility. The
use of three bottles of these bitters, at the be
ginning of the present year, was followed by
evident relief, and restoration to a degree of
bodily and mental vigor which 1 had not felt
for six months before, and had almost dispair
ed of regaining. 1 therefore thank God and
my friend for directing me to the use of them.
J. NEWTON BROWN.
Philadelphia, June 23, 1362.
ATTENTION, SOLDIERS.
AND THE FRIENDS OF SOLDIERS
We call the attention of all having relations
or friends in the army to the fact that " Hoof
land's German Bitters" will cure nine-tenths
of the diseases induced by privation and ex
posues incident to amp life. In the lists
published almost daily in the newspapers ' on
the ; arrival of the sick, it will be noticed that
a very large proportion are suffering from de
bility. Every case of that kind can be readi
ly cured by Hooftand , s Gelman Bitters. We
hare no hesitatior , in stating that, if these bit
ters are freely used among our soldiers,,
reds of lives might be saved that otherwise
wodld be lost.
The proprietors are daily receiving thankful
letters from sufferers in the army and hospi
tals,who have been restored to health by the use
of these Bitters, sent to them by their friends.
Beware of counterfeits l See that the sig
nature of “C. M. Jackson," is on the wrapper
of each bottle.
PRI OR'S.
Large Size, $1:00 per bottle, or dozen for $5.
Medium size, 75c per bottle, or 1 dozen for $4
The larger size, on account of the quantity
the bottles hold, are much the cheaper.
Should your nearest druggist not have the
article, do not be put oil by any of the intoxi
cating preparations gist may be offered in its
place, but send to us, and we will forward,
securely packed, by exoreks.
Pnncipat Offics and Manufactory,
No. 631 ARCH STRF.ET.
JONES & EVANS,
_(Successors to C. M. Jackson & Co : ,)
' - Privrt store.
For-sale ! by tliuggists and,,Deilers in. every
)son is the United Apitte• (may 301.1
TJ4t 1,111 arttltunt
''it.trcrtgent VennsAaitia t'aurnal: cote fu yittratart, g eztuZtuxe, tlll5 of the gag, Intal cafuttiligenct, fr.
K UNKEL'S CELEBRATED
BITTER WINE OF IRON.
Bitter Wine of Iron. -
Bitter Wine of Iron.
Bitter Wine of Iron.
. The Great Tonic
The Great Tonic
The Great Tonic
The Great Tonic
For Dyspepsia and Indigestion,
For Dyspepsia and Indigestion,
For Dyspepsia and Indigestion,
For Dyspepsia and Indigestion.
For weak Stomachs and General Debility.
For weak stomachs and General Debility.
For weak stomachs and General Debility.
For weak stomachs and General Debility.
Reliable and sure to do good,
Reliable and sure to do good,
Reliable and sure to do good,
Reliable.and sure to do good,
And cannot do Haim.
And cannot do Harm.
And cannot do Harm.
And cannot do Harm.
It COMB but little and ptirities the blood,
It costs but little and purifies the blood,
It costs but little and purifies the blood,
It costs but little and purifies the blood,
We now only ask a Trial
We now only ask a Trial
We now only ask a Trial
We now only ask 8, Tria
Of this valuable Tonic.
Of this valuable Tonic.
Of this valuable Tonic.
Of this valuable Tonic.
Only 75c. and One Dollar per Bottle.
Only 76c and $1 per Bottle.
Orly 76c and $1 per bottle.
Only 75c and $1 per Bottle.
Manufactured solely by S. A. KUNKEL 8r Bro.
No. 11S - Market-st., Harrisburg.
None genuine without their signature.
For sale by Dr. DEANE &I CO., Market-st.,
Marietta, Pa., and by all respectable Druggists
throughout the country. [2,26w
CDr_ Beaxs a (=Ye- Co_
WOULD TAKE THIS
Method of informing their patrons and
friends that they have just received aiff
COMPLETE AND WELL SELECTED
CHEMICALS, TOILET ARTICLES,
DYE-STUFFS, PERFUMERY, &C.
Also, a well assorted stock of Coal Oil Lamps,
Shades, Globes, Burners, &c„ Inks, Pens,
Paper' and Envelopes, Fresh Seidlitz
Powders, Citrate of Magzesia,
Cologne of the• best quality,
Hair Oils, Pomades, Sago,
Tapioca, Bermuda
- Arrow ROM,
Pure
Thin Stout,
Ground Spices, Pocket Books, Soaps, Combs,
Brushes, Gum Rattles, Bails and Rings,
Taylors' Shaving Compound, Burn'ett's
Cocoaine and Kallistm, Flavoring
Extracts of Lemon, Vanilla, Pine
Apple, Rose, Strawberry and Al
mond, Infant Powder, Powder
and Putt - Boxes, Balm of a
Thousand Flowers,
&c., &c., Sze.
Farni y Receipts carefully compounded
Prescriptions correctly filled at all hours.
r.P. Calls answered by the Doctor at all hours
NEW AND FRESH DRUGS.
CY,-. r iteneu.. ~s.tanclls,
Zatttzset to fir. granftlin itt(Ufat.
Pruß. LANDIS having purchased the entire
interest and good w ill of Dr. F. Ilinkle , s
g Store, would take this opportunity to in
form the citizens of Marietta and the public
generally, that having just received from Phil.
adelphia a large addition to the old stock, he
will spare no pains to keep constantly on hand
thp best and most complete assortment of eve
rything in the drug line.
a got of fuel) loiief articles,
consisting in part of German, French and Eng
lish perfumery, Shaving Soaps and Creams,
Tooth and Nail Brushes, Buffalo and other
/lair Combs, Bair Oils, Pomades,etc.
Port Monies, Pocket Books, Puff
and Powder Boa es, te,, te.
The celebrated Batchrlor's HAIR ;D,
DeCosta's and other Tooth Washes,lndia Cola-
gogue,
Bart v's Tricoperous, tot the hair, Bay
Rum,Arnold's ink, large and small sized bot
tles, Balm of a Thousand Flowers, Flour 01
Rice, Corn Starch, Heckei's Farina, all kinds
of pure Ground Spices, Compound Syrup of
Phosphate, or Chemical food, an excellent ar
ticle for cronic dyspepsia'and a tonic in Con
sumptive cases, Rennet, fur coagulating milk,
au excellent preperation for the table ; Table
Oil—very fine—bottles in two sizes. Pure Cod
Liver Oil. All of fiael's perfumery,pomades,
soaps, 84c. His Kathstiron or Flair Restorative
is now everywhere acknowledged the best.
A LARGE ASSORTMENT
OF BOOKS AND STATIOIVARY.
Sheet Music always on hand, and procured
by weekly orders from the city.
Having secured the services of Mr. Harrison
Roth, formerly of the firm of Grove & Roth,
he feels confident that he can accommodate
as well as please his numerous patrons and
friends.
Old Port, Sherry and I.llndeira Wines and
Brandies for medical purposes.
The Doctor can be professionally consulted
at the store when not engaged elsewnere.
I[3- Remember the place, 'opposite the Psto
Office, formerly Doctor kiinkle s.
D R. WHITTIER,
65 ST. CH A ELES*ST.,
IDET WEEN SIXTH AND SEVENTH STREETS,
T. LOUIS, MISSOURI.
ESPECIAL ATTENTION TO
CHRONIC DISEASES,
Dyspepsia, Consumption, Liver Complaint,
Diarrhea, Piles, &c., and all
Female Complaints.
DR. W. will send his Theory of Chronic Dis
eases, for 6 cents, to, pre-pay postage.
Symptom lists for any disease, forwarded.
Medicines forwarded to any post office
in the United States Post Office Box, 3092.
St. Louis, August 1, 1863.-Iy.
TOBACCO, CIGAR & SNOB STORE,
Opposite the Cross Keys Hotel,
MARIETTA, PA.
THE undersigned would rospectfully inform
the public that he still continues, et the
old stand, corner of Second and Walnut Streets,
direCtly opPosite the Cross Keys Hotel, to keep
on hand and for sale, all kinds of cigars from
Half Spanish up, in prices from $6, $7 $2O to
$BO per thousand. TOBACCO.—Nattual Leaf,
Excelsior Cavendish, Oranoko Virginia, Con
gress Vine Spun Ladies Twist, Coarse Spun
Twist, Eldorado, Jewel of Ophir tobacco, An
derson's best Fine-cut. All kinds of fine,Ck .
gariiiianufactured of imported stock. SLTES
HALF SPANISH. Rappee Snuff antLall kinds
Fancy P Smoking Tobacco. Scent4sotiffs,
Fisle-clitipes; Cigar Tubes, fee. Tjaii.4(l,'6B
STOCK OF
Drugs,
JACOB A WISNER'S
MARIETIA, PA., SATURDAY, APRIL 2, 1864.
itubli>der ebtrE Zaturba - 22 INorninl
oFFIrECntILL's Row, Front Street, five
• I
• doors below Flury'e Hotel.
TERMS, One Dollar a rear, payable in ad
vance, and if subscriptiors he not paid within
six months $1.25 will be charged, but if de
layed until the expiration of the year, $1.50
will be charged.
ADVERTISING RATES: One square (12
lines, or less) al cents for the first insertion and
25 cents far each subsequent insertion. Pro
fessional and Business cal ds, of six lines or less
at $3 per afintn. Nottcls in the reading col
unins, fire cents a-line. Itlarriagesand Deaths;
the simple announcement, I:REE j but for any
additional lines, five cenisa line.
A liberal deduction made to yearly and half
yearly advertisers.
Having recentled added a large lot of new
Job and Card type, Cuts, Borders, &c., to the
Job Office of "The Mariettian," which will
insure the fine execution of all kinds of Jon &
CARD PRINTING, from the smallest
Card to the largest Poster, at prices to suit the
Wafpas.
LOVE'S TEST
BY= EMILY J. MACKIN
"And, above all, Amy, send and keep
Howard away. Remember you are, pale
and faded, while she is young and fair;
you are frank and guileless, she is the
most consummate flirt 1 ever saw. For
give me if I speak too plainly. But, a
year ago, I saw a heart broken, a lover
false, for this same siren's sake; and
saw, too, the false wooer punished by
her scorn later; so my heart fears and
trembles when I know your quiet dove
cot is to be invaded, and I risk even
your frown to warn, you."
I had pondered over this sentence for
nearly an hour, till every word seemed
burned into my heart. I knew it was
not true affection that dictated the
harsh lines; that my cousin Mabel,
soured by disappointment, would have
denied me the one ray of light in my
cheerless life, il-she--eould-havii-done
sd, and, failing in this, was only too
ready too dash the poison of doubt into
my cup of hope. Send. Howard away !
Where, on what pretest? Was I afraid
to trust his love when he had so proved
it?
after twelve long years, hi had come to
me gain. My father lay iu the church
ya.r , and Howard had come home, rich
and courted, to seek out again his pale,
pia'cousin, and tell her of his constant
lov ,
y cousin Mabel knew the story, and ta
when' she wrote to me of Kate Herring
toutp visit, she knew how cruelly she
wasi
wounding me. This same Kate•was
ce of my father's, born in England,
ti,ted, by turns, in every larks city
ktorpe, and 'now coming home on a
to her kinsfolk. Mabel • had met
in• Paris, and she was with her when
took it into her wayward head to
se the "old maid cousin," in. B
wrote me her self-invited proposal.
uld scarcely decline the visit, and
tinewer had drawn forth Mabel's
a tu
edue
visi
her
Ka
go
anal
I ca l
my
lotto
vas useless to ponder over it, so I
aside, and tried to forget it. Yet,
in the evening I stood, circled by
,rd's arms, by the mirror , in my wee
whir, I felt the ,words stinging me.' I
who,
How
was ale and faded. Fourteen years of
toil• nd care had wasted my form, thin=
ned y cheeks, and •driven ,the lustre
from my • eyes. While Howard bad:
gro handsomer,, broader, more. manly.
and raceful ;. while the stamp of intel
lect' •ad made his clear dark eyes more
ear' at and beautiful, bad set its noble
sera n his lip and brow, I had let sor
row rid hopelessness crush, me, till, be
side is vigorous manhood, I was a faded,
wort:less flower.
H saw that I was sad, and was more
than usually bright and cheerful, till I
foubd myself talking of books and papers
with my old relish; found that he was
opeinine my heartsand feeding my mind
as itt:the days of "Auld lang syne."
.46116i , ceitne themex4.4l.a.yosnd Llaugb
ed at my fears. - I hadlancied her a tall
brunette, with dashing manners and
marvelous beauty ; she was a fair, pretty
girl, with large, gray eves, soft brown
hair, and quiet, almost shy manners. As
for flirting with Howard, she scarcely
noticed him. To me she was caressing
and loving, winning me to admire her,
to wonder at the power of her large
eyes, and listen eagerly to the music of
her fresh, sweet voice.
With ber shy, graceful manner, her
gentle touch, her soft, beseeching eyes,
she fairly magnetized me, and when she
had lulled every doubt, driven back each
suspicion; she began her game. I know
now bow she lost her heart to Howard.
She fully appreciated his talents, beauty,
and manliness, and, above all, his wealth..
Brought nit() worship gold, she 49y0
down, in spirit:before his bank account,
and determined to win him. Very con
temptuously she regarded the pale, faded
old maid who' stood in the way; but it
was better to blind her than openly bid
her defiance.
I understand now, though I did not
then, the soft cooing voice in which she
invariably addressed Howard ; the de
ference to his opioious ; the gentle femi
nine ways sLe affected for him. Every
art of dress, too, was brought into play,
and the soft cashmeres, the rich lustre
less silks, the flue laces, were each and
all part of the battery besieging his
heart. Then walks were planned, at
hours when she knew I. was engaged ;
she would watch for him, and admit him
without calling me down, and, at last,
painfully and slowly, I awoke to the
truth. fsaw how her voice in song held
Howard enthralled; I marked how de
ferential his tone was to her; and I
clasped my misery closely into my heart
and drew aside from the unequal con
test. What, was Ito battle for my love
with her ? No ; better to let my crushed
heart die silently, than to give him pain
by showing its bleeding agony. So I.
drew back, pleading .a thousand engage
ments to avoid being a third ; I opened
the piano to let her pour,forth , her won
derful voice in song ; I feigned weari
ness to leave, them alone; and, if I
grew paler and sadder, were not her
charms lovlier by contrast ? If my eyes
drooped wearily,hers burned and flashed,
or melted and softened with magical
beauty.
I remember well, one evening, when,
with no light but the rays of the full
moon poured into the room, Kate sat
down to the piano. Softly, like a far
off echo of dream.land, the notes trick
led from the pliant fingers ; dreamily,
with the dadences melting into one an
other, she played one of Beethoven's
symphonies, the heavy bass chords soft
end and mellowed, that no harsh burst
onid tieak the soothing spell. I. who
cOnidliever master the intrioaoies,of in-
strnmental send% and who nonsiderefi it
a feat to. Play, thft,‘Pco.alrY34,44, of a
song, listened wonderingly to the, liter-
velous command she had won over the
keys, till the soothing spell held me
qUiet, lost, wrapt hi the delicious har
monies.
A long sigh from Howard roused me.
He, too, loved music, and I could see,
by the moonlight, how he was drinking
in these sweet •sounds. Softly I stole
away. After a time this mniic ceased,
and still it was long before I heard him
go out Then, flushed. and triumphant,
Kate came to my side. Her good-night
kiss was given hurriedly, and, as she
left my room, I could hear her whisper,
"lie loves mei He loves me 1" softly,
as if not meant for my ear.
Ah ! my blind folly ! I let the days
slip by without one effort to regain the
heart that seas my sheet-anchor for this
life ; drooping in My loneliness, trying
to make his happiness my reward, and
never watching the dear face to see if it
flashed its old look of love upon me.
One hot day, when the twilight was
gathering, I lay on the parlor sofa, tired
and languid, sick with suffering. Kate
bad gone to ride with some friends,
promising to be , back for Howard's eve
ning call. As I lay, musing sadly, some
body bent over me, kissing me fondly,
and the voice that made my heart's mu
sic spoke,
"Amy, darling, you are ill, and keep
ing it from me. I have watched you,
day after day, trying to conceal your
pain, growing pale and sad with some
hidden suffering. yau creep from me
till I fear we are drifting far away from
each other. Oh i, my love, my wife, why
is this? Who shobld share your 'pain
but me? Who should comfort you if
you deny me ? I am" sick with pain to
see you so estranged. Tell me, Amy,
why you are so white and sad? I had
hoped tia , let.my love itto circle -nor.- life,
that the,past sorrow, should tte_forgot
ten, the long wit ter of your youth
be gladdened by, the coming summer.—
Amy," and his tone melted into a pathos
that stirred my very soul, "have I been
mistaken ? Have you ceased to love
me ? You are so good,: so pure, and
your life has seemed eo saintly and set
apart, tell me if my worldly self, full of
this life's cares, sorrows, and joys, has
become repugnant to you.? Tell me the
truth, Amy, if you break my heart."
And with bitter, repentant tears, I
told him all the truth, sparing none of
the degrading suspicions, none of
bitter doubts, bumbling myself to his
very feet to be lifted to his heart again,
to cast out all fear and doubt, to know
truly how Kate's witcheries had but
ruffled the surface of his heart, while I
lay buried in its inmost recesses.
Hark I As I write, the dear step ie
coming toward me, the clear voice rings
out my name, the loyed music sinks down
into my soul, and I throw aside my , pen
to greet my husband.
CAPITAL ANSWER.
' , A professor of universal knowledke"
had a prince, who suddenly came in upon
the pretender, and put his wisdom to
the test :
"So thou 4nowest all things," said the
Ring; "then tell me to-morrow morning
these three things only, or thOtt 'shalt
lose thy head.
"First—how many baskets of earth
there are in yonder mountain ? Second
ly—how much is the king worth ? And,
thirdly, what is the king , thinking of at
the time."
The professor was distressed beyond
measure, and in his apartments rolled
upon the carpet in agony, for he knew
that he must die on_ the morrow. His
servant learned the trouble and offered
to appear before the king and take his,
chance of answering the questions.
The next morning, the servant, clothed
in his master's robes, presented himself
to his majesty, who was deceived by his ,
appearance, and the king proceeded
"Tell me, now, how many baskete of
earth are in yonder mountain ?"
"That dependaupOn circamstances.—,
If the baskets are as large as the moun
tain, one will hold it ; if half as large,
two . ; if a quarter, four; and , so on."
The king had to be satisfied and,pro
needed—
"Now tell me,how much the king is
worth."
"Well yoar majesty, the King of
Heaven and Earth was sold for thirty
pieces of silver, and I conclude you are
worth one piece."
This was so witty'an escape, that the
king laughierand went on : •
"Now. once more, tell me what I am
thin/Ling. of," •
"You are now thinking that,you are
talking with the professor, whereat 4t
i? .nly his servant" •
.„
Well done;' 8 4 1 4. 1 441Eint,,‘Yoti 4 411
e your rewa* apt vi r l o st ir i g t o
a vitae :Ms head.n - -
VOL. 10.--NO. 35.
Romance in Real Life.
The Chicago Journal says a gentleman
on his way from St. Louis to this city,
one day last week, entered into convey
sation with a lady of quiet and pleasant
demeanor, who sat behind him, and in
the course of the conversation learned
that she was going to China& in search
of employment. She came upon the
train at a small' station beyond Soliet,
where - elle stated she had leen visiting
fora few days with a family in humble
circumstances, to whom She was related
by marriage. The gentleman was very
symthitletic and much interested, and
gradually her story all came , out. She
was a widow ; her husbdud left ber al
most penniless. Two or three weeks
ago she left her home Itocheztsr,
New York, to coma west and obtain
employment ; she had tried. by advctr-,
tieing to obtain a situation of Opq sort.
in Chicago, but in vain ; she was, a good
'seamstress, a fair teacher of ,the piano
forte, and was . .ficquainted • with the,.
French and German-languages:
The gentleman very kindly and cour
teously informed -.her': that she ought, to.
get alusband ; she replied that whjle
at her own home the thought was too,
repugnant so soon after husband's death,,
but that she had felt differently since
coming West and realizing how com
pletely alone and unassisted she was in
a strange country.
The result was that her new-acquain
tance went deliberately to work, gave
her a complete account of • himself and
business, and his list of worldly posies
sions, and wound up by offering-her his
hand in marriage. She accepted in• Abe
same spirit, and, on arriving in Chicago
they were married forthwith. Yester
day the gentleman returned to St. Louie
with - his : bride, lcroldrig 'as - 'happy ,e, a
king, and the lady no less so, We trust
they may continue to be so, despite the
words of the poet :
"If you ever should marry, remember to wed
A handsome, plump, modest, street-spoken',
well bred, r.
And sensible maiden of twenty instead,
Of a widow, whose husband is recently dead !"
A SUFFICIENT Raesmi:—Shutter, the
famous comedian, was never without , a
joke or a whimsical story. He• used to
give the cries of London on his annual
benefit at the theatre; and,the day he
fore one of these benefits, be Wowed
through several streets a men w,hose euy
of .his wares was. peculiar. At lag
Shutter stopped him and told him bp
was Ned• Shutter, and had followed him
half an hour in hopes to hear him cry
his usual cry. "Why, Master Shutter,"
said the man, "my wife died' this morn
ing., and I cannot cry." •
Or A poet lecturer (Saxe very like
ly,) was congratulated, the other day,
on the pleasures of popularity. "Don't
you find it pleasant," said a pretty- wo
man, "to be surrounded by a crowd of la
dies in the way you were last night after
the lecture ?" "Yes," said - -, smiling
the acknowledgement of the compli
ment; "but it would be vastly pleasant
er to be surrounded by one." . .
eir "Men are made in the image of
God." Gentlemen are manufactured .by
tailors, barbers, and bootjacks. ,
"Woman is the last and, most perfect
work of God." Ladies are the produc
tions of silk-worms, milliners and dress
makers.
ar "Ma," said the pride of the fami
ly, an urchin who had seen some seven
summers, "do you know why is our torn
cat like a poet ?" Ma didn't. "Why,"
exclaimed the precocious pet, "don't he
go out moonlight nights and invoke the
mews ?" •
It.is a singular fact that the as
tonishing power of water in converting
one pint of milk into a quart was not
known 'until some few years since. It
is thought that .a persevering milkman
first made tho discovery.
Go- Voltaire says, "A. physician is
an unfortunate gentleman, who is every
day called upon to perform a miracle—
to reconcile health with intemperance."
oar A romantic youlig man says that
a woman s heart is like the moon—it
ch*ngis, 'continually, but alimys has a
gir Delights
. Jerrold calls woman's
arms "the serpents that whid 41111011 t
man's neck, killing his best resolution."
"All things from above are not
blessings," as the man, said when extra
lofiche of snow apdfica slightest whit
or - What, la the 'diffkirfeug, betaisen
one's month and , abandbox ? Not mach ;
either ie a good puce to pat a rat' jn.