BY FRED'K L. BAKER. Great Discovery. iilintieVs Riiffet f illifle of ii,oß. - DOR the cure of Weak Stomachs, genera ,17 debility, indigestion, diseases of the Nervous System, constipation, acidity . of the stomach and for all cases requiring a Tonle ThiS Wine Includes the 'meet agteeabre and efficient Salt of Iron we possess; Citrate of Magnetic Oxide combined, with the most en ergetic of vegetable tonics, Yellow Peruvian Barr. The effect in many cases of debility, loss of appetite, and general prostration, of an efficient Salt of Iron, combined with our valua ble Nerve Tunic, is most happy. It augments the appetite, raises the pulse, takes off muscu lar flabbiness, removes the paler of debility, and gives a florid vigor to the countenance. Do you want something to strengthen you? Do you want a good appetite ? Do you want to build up your constitution? Do you want to feel well? Do you want to get rid of nervousness? Do you want energy I Ud you want to sleep well ? Do you want a brisk and vigorous feeling? If you do. try _ . KLINK EL'S BITTER WINE OF IRON ! This truly valuable Tonic has been so thoroughly test•.d by all classes of the commu nity, that it is now deemed indispensable as a Tonic medicine.- it costs but little, purifies the blood;gives tong , to the stomach, renovates the system, and prolongs lite. "I now only ask a-trial of this valuable Tonic. COUNTERFEITS. BE. AWARE OF COUNTERFEITS.-A§ NUN- Bitter Wing of Iron iS the only sure anti effectual remedy in theknown world tor the permanent cure of :Dyspepsia and Debility, and as there arg it:number of imitations coal ed to the public, We. Would caution t e com munity tovirehase none but the genuine ar ticle, manufactured by S. A. Kunkel, and has his stamp• on the top of the cork of every bot tle. The very fact that others are attempting to imitate this valuable remedy, proves its worth and speaks volumes in its favor. The Bitter Wine of iron is put up in 75 cent and $l.OO bottles, and sold by all respectable Druggists throughout the country. lie par ticular that every bottle bears the fur Siratle of the proprietor's signature. .Genciul Dep.it, 118 Market Street, itarr•iobnrg. Pa. irs'• For Sale by Or. Beane & Co, and all respectable d,a.eis every st. here. Dr. Brunon's Celebrated Rented es fur delicate diseases NO. I. Tit E GREAT ketlV E. 11... —Speedily, eradicates all the evil eireets of self a use, us lo . s.Sof memory, shortness of breath, giddi ness, palpitation of tile heart, dimness of vis imi;'oriftly"coriatittitional derudigemenrol - the dysteut brought on by the unrestrained indul, getme °Rile passions. etsalike on either sex. Price one dollar. Nu. 2. Tire BA llf .—Krill cure in from two o eight days, any case of t;onorrhuea,(clap)is without taste or smell and requires tiQ rearm tutu of action ur diet ; for either sex • price .$l. 'rue TKRE It will cure heat in the shortest possible time, and I ran show, certiti vales of cute. etleined by this remedy, weer all others have tailed. No taste or Price sue O. .t, Tok: Pt". NITER IS the only known teuu•dy that will itintitively cure strictures ul tat urethra, no matter of how longstanding or neglected the case (nay be. price one dollar. NO. d. Tile, SoLctrou will cure any case of Gravel permanently and speedily rewov till diseases from the bladder and holnez. s.— Price oue.dollar. No. U. "fur.P t: VENTOti is a sus: preven tu, uoinst the contraction of any ditease, ii less expensive and far preferable to anything in use. Adapted to either sex. Price J. NO 7. Tar AillAal a will cure the whites radically and in less time than they can be ef fectually removed by any other treatment; in twit this is the only remedy that will really cure Ull,l disease ; pleasitbt to take. Price si 1. NO. 8. Tun OX/EICIA I'A.T . IL.S are cer tam, safe and speedy in producing menstrue imp or cow:cling any irregularities of the monthly periods. Price two dnu u rs. No. y. Tin: .V 1.411 A LF: FEGUAILU, ur Off spring Regulator will last a lifetime. Price Either of the kemedies will be sent tree by maii on receipt of the price annexed. Circe /ars containing valun'Ae information with lull description of each Remedy, may he obtained by enclosing one post stamp. Address DH. FELIX BIWNOAV, liox 99, Philadelphia, Pa These Retne,lies are sold In Marietta only by JOHN JAY LISHART, where circulars con taining a full description of each Case can be obtained gratis, on application. General Depot, North East Corner of York A remie and Callowhill street,Philatielphia,Pa Da' In complicated cased 1 can be consulted by letter, vr petsollally at my orrice PlitlanCe No. 401 York Avenue. Da. F. tREINCIN ( .. 1 1.17, ttIORRALL, SURGEON DENTIST, Having retuned b the Rooms formerly occupies by Dr. twontiel, adjoining Spangler ¢ Pat terson's Stare, Market Street, where he is now prepared to wait on all who may feel otila i "ZZ disposed to patronize him. Dentistry in all As blanches car tied on. TEETH inserted on the most approved principles Of Dental aciente. All operations on the mouth performed ir. a skillful and workmanlike manner—on fair principles and ON/ VERY REASONABLE TERMS. flaying determined upon a permanent loca tion at this nlstrix, would ask a continuation of the lit ronage heretofore extended to him, for witch he will render every possi ble satisfaction. Er Ether administered to proper persons. DAVID COCHRAN, Pointer, Glazier and Paper Hanger • I - 17 OULU most respectfully inform the cit izens of Marietta and the public gener ali3; that hr is prepared to do House Painting, China Glossing, Paper Hanging, 4.c., At very short notice and at prices to suit the times. He can be found at his mother's resi dence on the corner of Chesnut and Second streets, a few doors below the M. E. Church, and immediately opposite the old Oberlin Coach Works. [Aug. 3-Iy. A MERICAN HOTEL, PHILADELPHIA. Located on Chestnut street, opposite the OLD STATE HOUSE, and in close proximity to the principal Jobbing and Importing Houses, Banks, Custom House, and places of amusements. The City Cara can be taken at the door (or within a square) fern any depot in the City. The House has heed reniAated and refitted. It'TERMS 81:75 PER DATJ 'WYATT & HEULINGS, Paosuescross. NIOOSACKS OF SALT Fot 'ale cheap at . Dltreabach's w-rA .C[jt - c V aTi. t'ian fir lfuhrOtat Venusglattia Punt: gittintth to votitits, (sittrature, Agritulture, Rtios of tilt gag, /total Ilfelligtiu-t, DR. ROOFLAN IPS 4 GERMAN BITTERS, Prepared by Dr. C. 111. Jackson, Philadelphia, Pa. IS NOT A BAR-ROONI DRINK, OR A SUBSTITUTE FOR RUM, Or an Intoxicating' Beverage, but a highly con centrated Vegetable Extract, a Yule Tonic, free from alcoholic atimulent or injurious drugs, and will effectually cure Liver. Complaint , Dqspepsia, and Jaundice. HOOFLIM'S GERBIABI-BITTERS WILL CURE EVERY CASE OF Cluonic or Nervous Debility, Disease of the Kidneys, and Diseases arising from a Disordered Stomach. OBSERVE THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOBIS' resulting from dis Orders of the digestive organs: Constipation, Inward Piles, Fumess or Blood to the Head, Acidity of the Stomach, Nausea, Heartburn Disgust for Food, Fullness or weight in the Stomach, sour eructations, sink qng or fluttering of the Pit of the Stomach, iwimming of the Head, hurried and difficult sreathing, fluttering at the heart, choking or suffocating sensations when in a lying posture, dimness of vission, dots or webs before the sight, fuses and dull pain in the head,-defici micy of perspiration, yellowness of the skin and eyes, pain in the side, back, chest, limbs, &c., sudden flushes of heat, burning in the flesh, constant immaginings of evil, and great de pression of spirits. HOOFLAND'S GERMAN BITTERS WILL. GIVE YOU A Good Appetite, StrJng i ernes, ilia/thy Nerves, Steady Nerves, Brisk Feelin g s, Anerg,etie Feelings, Begithy Feelings, A Good Constitution, A Strong Constitution, A Healthy Constitution, - A Sound Constitution. MAKE THE WEAR STRONG, Will make the . _ Will make the Wilt make tha Will make the Sallow Complexion Clear, Will make the Dull eye Clear and Bright. II Will prove a blessing in every family. a." 3 - Can be used with perfect salety by male or Female, Old or Young. PARTICULAR NOTICE. There are many preparations sold under the Dante of Bitters, put up in quart bottles, com pounded cf the cheapest Whiskey or common Kum, costing from 20 to 40 cents per gaikm, the taste disguised by Anise or Coriander seed. This dais of Bitters haseaused arid will con .inue to cause, as long us they can be sold, aundreds to die.tto death of a•drunkard. By their use the System is kept continually undrr the ioflucnce of alcoholic stimulit.its of the worst kind, the desire for liquor is create I and kept up, and the result is all the horrors at tendant upon a drunkard's life and death. Be ware of them. Fur thoSe who .desire and wilt have a liquor bitters, we publish the following receipt: Get one bottle Iloofland's German Bitters and mix with three quarts of good Whiskey or Brandy, and the result will be a preparation that will far excel in medicinal virtues and true excellence any of the numerous liquor bitters in the market, and toil/. cost much less. You will have all the virtues of Hoofiand's Bit ters in connection with a i good article of liquor and at a much less price then these inferior preparations will cost you. DELICATE Those suffering from maramus, wasting away, with scarcely any fleith ou their bones are cured in a very short time; one butt!.• in such cases, will have most surprising effect. Resulting from Fevers of any kind—these bit ters will renew your strength in a short time. FEVER AND Ann E.—The chills - will not re turn if the Bitters are used. No person in a fever and ague district should bt without them. From Rev. J. _Newton Brown, D. D., Editor of the Encyclopedia.of iteligtous Knowledge. Aithough not c,spo.;'ed to favor or recommend Patent Medicines in general, through diotiast f their ingredients and effects ; 1 yet know of no stb/4 •nt reason why a man may not tes tify to the - benefits he believes himself to have received from any simple preparation, in the hope that he may thus contribute to the bene fit of others_ I do this more readily in regard to HooflatuPs German Bitterg, prepared by Dr..C. M. Jackson because I was prejudiced against them for -a number of years, under the impression that they were chiefly an alcoholid mixture.' I am indebted to my friend Rob't Shoemaker, esq., for the removal of this prejudice by proper teats, and for encouragement to try them, when suffering from great and long debility. The use of three bottles of these bitters, at the be ginning of the present year, was followed by evident relief, and restoration to a degree of bodily and mental vigor which 1 had not felt for six months before, and had almost dispair ed of regaining. I therefore thank God and my friend for directing, me to the use of them. J. NEWTON BROWN. Philadelphia, June 23, 1362. ATTENTION, SOLDIERS. AND THE FRIENDS OF SOLDIERS We call the attention of all having relations or friends in the army to the fact that 4, Hoof land's German Birters" will cure nine-tenths of the diseases induced by privation and ex posy es incident to camp life. In the lists published almost daily in the newspapers, on the,arrival of the sick, it will be noticed that a very large proportion are suffering from de bility. Every case of that kind can be readi ly cured by floofland's German Bitters. We ha:m no hesitatioY in stating that, if these bit ters are freely used among our soldiers, hond reds of lives might be saved that otherwise would be lost. The proprietors are daily receiving thankful letters from sufferers in the army and hospi tals,who have been restored to health by the use of these Bitters, sent to them by their friends. Beware of counterfeits! See that the'sig nature of "C. M. Jackson," is on the wrapper of each bottle. PRICES. Large Size; $1:00 per bottle, ordozen for $5. Medium size, 75c per bottle, or t dozen for $4 The larger size, on • account of the quantity the bottles hold, are much the cheaper. Should your nearest druggist not have the article, do not be put .off by any of the intoxi cating preparations that may be offered in its place, but send to us, and we will forward, securely packed, by tXpress. Principal Office and Manufactory, No. 631 Arica STRZET. JONES & EVANS, (SUccessors to C. M. Jackson*. Co-,) Prop . tidors. For sale by Druggists and w Dealers in every own in the United States. [may 30- ly MARIETTA, PA., SATURDAY, JANUARY 30, 1864. Delicate - Heal ty, Thin Stout, Depressed Lively, D li 1 rry, Vutaizba cbtrp „%aturbap Attruin,g OFFICE • • CRULL's Row, Front Street, five doors below Flury's Hotel. TERMS, One Dollar a year, payable in ad vance, and if subecriptiors be not paid within six months 81.215 will be charged, but if de layed until the expiration of - the year, $1.50 will be charged. ADVERTISING RATES : One Square (12 lilies, or less) 50 cents for the first insertion and 25 cents for each subsequent insertion. Pro fessional and Business cards; of six lines or less at $3 per annum. Notices in the reading col umns, five cents a-line. hlarriages and Deaths, the simple announcement, FREE; but for any additional lines, five cenis a line. A liberal' eduction made to yearly and half yearly advertisers. Hiving recentled added a large lot of new Job and Card type, Cuts, Borders, &c., to the Job Office of "The IVlariettian,” which will insure the fine execution of all kinds of Jos & CARD PRINTING, from the smallest Card to the largest Poster, at prices to suit the War times. KNITTING. With a blooming maiden sitting, While she nimbly plies her knitting, Pleased I gaze upon her beauty, While I fill my happy duty, "Paying out' , the zephyr double, Richly paid for pleasant trouble, Just to watch her nimble fingers, And her ruby lip, where lingers Many a beauty in her smiling, All my loving.soul beguiling ; Just to feel the wondrous thrilling Of my heart, with rapture filling. While beside the maiden sitting, "Paying out" while she is knitting, I am thinking how our knitting Is an illustration fitting Of the real life we're living : Of the mercies God is giving In the active world around him, When to woman man has bound him Then are love and labor making All the joys our souls are taking. Ills to labor are supplying, "Paying out" life's thread., and trying Ever to undo its tangling ; Ever to protect from wrangling; His to give life's thread, and held it : Hers, in love to gently mould it Into forma of use and beauty: Thus they link their love and duty. Who AN- the -First Oyster ? The name of the courageous individu al who ate the first oyster has not been reported, but there is a legend concern ing him to the following effect: Once upon a time—it must be a prodigious long time ago—a man of melancholy mood, who was walking by the shore of a picturesque estuary, listening to the sad sea-waves, espied a very old amdtug ly oyster, all coated over with pooesites and seaweads. it was so unpreposessing that he kicked it with his foot, awl the animal, 'astonished at such rudeness on its own domain, gaped wide with indig nation. Seeing the beautiful cream colored layer that shone within the shelly covering, and thinking the interi or of the shell itself to be beautiful, he lifted up the aged "native" for farther examination, inserting his linger and thumb between the shells. The irate motto°, thinking no doubt that this was meant for a further insult, snapped his pearly door Ouse upon the finger of the intruder, causing him some little pain. After releasing his wounded digit, the inquisite gentleman very naturally put it in his mouth. " Delightful !" ex claimed he, opening wide his eyes.— "What is this ?" and again he sucked his thumb. Than the truth flashed upon him. He bad accidentally achieved the most important discoveil , ever made up to that date ! Taking up a stone he forced open the doors of the oyster, and gingerly tried a piece of the mollusc it self. Delicious was the result ; and so, there and then, that solitary, simony mous man inaugurated the oyster ban quet. ADVANTAGES OF WEDLOCK.—None but the married man has a home in his old age. None has friends, then, but he ; none but he knows and feels the solace of the domestic hearth ; none but he lives and freshens in his green old age, amid the affections of his children.— Tiers is no tear shed for the old bache lor ; there is no ready hand and kind heart to cheer him in his loneliness and bereavement ; there is none in whose eyes he can see himself reflected, and from whose lips he can receive the un failing assurances of care and love. Se, may be .courted for his money ; he may eat and drink and revel ; and be may sicken and die in an hotel or a garret, with plenty-of--attendants about him, like so many cormorants waiting . for their pray ; but he will never know the comforts of the domestic fireside. lIRF "Which is the most solemn and awful moment of a,naval battle ?" asked a lady of a naval officer. . `"The moment tiefore the battle, madam, -when. they sprinkle sand on ihe decksjto absorb - the blood that Is soon tolowi" replitid th e officer. A Hundred Dollar Note," Old Mr. V—, a well-to-do farmer out in Illinois, bad some marriageable daughters; and, being one of that cfass of men who think their daughters should get married as soon as they are out of their short clothes, felt somewhat cha grined that his girls should remain on his hands so, long. Now there was a young fellow in the neighborhood who had been . waiting on the V— girls for some time, and had gone the rounds from oldest to young est; and the old man had been anxious ly waiting for, and expecting young B— to ask his "consent"lor some one of the girls, but as yet had waited in vain. B—, however, had proposed and had been accepted ; bat the old folks had not been made acquainted With the fact, Now, in the meantime, young B— had purchased a fine horse of the old gent, and had given his note on six months' time for one hundred dollars. Welt, pay-day was fast approaching, and B— had not the "ready" to meet it ; so, the day before the note became due, B. made his way overt° the old gent's, determining to ask for his daugh ter—hoping thereby to get an extension on the note, at least. As good luck would have it, he met the old man in the yard, and was about to go through with that somewhat em barrassing'-ceremony; of "asking con sent," when imagine his surprise and joy, the old gent broke out with the following "Look here, B—. you yottag rascal, you have been courtin' my gals for more'h a year'; you've been gadin' and cutrin' round with the hull on 'em.— Now, your note comes due to-morrow, and I'll tell you what I'll do. You shall ecitiriy 'tine' of' 'the gala—l dori't care a snap-which—and I'll give a good settin out, 'and your hundred dollar note to boot ; and if you don't, I'll sue you, by thunder." - "It's a bargain," says B—, "I'll do it." And the next week there was a "tall wedding" down at the old man V—'s ; and to this day B— chuck les over the.way the old man gave his conse b nt without asking, "and a hundred dollar note to boot." Arterous Ward, in a recent let ter, thus gives his idea of re-organiza- tlon : "I never attempted to re-organize my wife but once. I shall never attempt it again. .I.'d bin to a public dinner, and had allowed myself to be betrayed into drinkin' several people's healths; and wishin' to make 'em as robus as possi ble, I continued drinking their healths until my own became affected. Conse kens was, I presented myself 'at Betsy's bedside late at nite, with considerable licker concealed about my person. 'I had somenow got perseschun of a hoss whip on my way home, and rememberin" some cranky observashuns of Mrs. Ward's in the mornin', I soapt the whip putty lively, and in a very loud voice I said, Betsy, you need re-organizin' ! I have come, Betsy, I continued—crackin' the whip over the bed—l !lave come to re-organize you! T dreamed that hitil that sumbody had laid a hosswhip over me sev'ril couseckootive times ; and when Ilvoke up I found she had. I haint drunk much of anythin' since ; and if ever I have another re-organizin' job on. hand, I shall let it out." Oar So long as a woman inspires love, she is not old. But, what is it-to he old ? It does not depend upon the fact that we• hUve existed during a certain mysterious number of years which have been allotted to each of us. 'To be old, is to have no longer a beauty that charms. If a woman preserves the-at tractions of youth until she reaches the age of one hundred, she will be younger than the woman of twenty Who has lost them. tom .Five of the sweeteetwords in the English language begin with. H, which is only a breath ; Heart, Hope, Home, Happiness and Heaven. -Heart ilk a hope-place; and home is a heart.place, and that man, sadly mistaketh, who would exchange the happiness of home for anything less than heaven. • ilhir Spurgeon sometimes cornea out with a good . thin : ''Brothren„" said le; "if God ktuLitirred,the ark to a can mitten on tusAloffairs, it's my opinion it. wouldn't havf3A)M built yet." "Ah,;13111, my arid tr ; a . has' - beein NOW :l 'irorh,ina yOnr'iihilin't." "Weil, what of thaf—roi untie has been in jail and your'ti hain't." ' ' A Lawyer Nonplussed. Forney's Press bas -the following ac onnt of a case before Alderman White in that city : It is an amusing thing to observe the style in which some of the members of the bar cross-examine witnesses in - suits that come up before the' magistracy of our city. The class of lawyers to whom we allude assume an air of dignified im portance, and in some cases design to be witty at the expense of witnesses:— Occasionally, however, they wake up an original wit, under the, force of which the "leairned gentlemen" must fall. A• case of this kind came partly under our notice yesterday. It was a civil action over which the magistrate had the power to decide. The cross-exami nation was conducted as follows : Lawyer. - -" Now, sir, you say that you heard the defendant say that he would pay the plaintiff $22 50 for the goods ?" Witness.—".l did, air." Lawyer.—" This was in the tavern ?" W itness.—'tlYes, sir." Lawyer.—" You are sure yon heard the agreement ?" Witness.—" Yes, sir." Lawyer.—" Now do you say on your oath that yon heard the agreement made ?" Witness.—" Not exactly on my oath, sir ; I say no such thing." Lawyer to Alderman.—" You hear that, your honor; please make a note of that on your docket; the witness contradicts himself." Lawyer.—" What do you mean, sir, that you say no such thing upon your oath:?"- Witness.—" That oath, sir, is regis tered in JEleaven ; I em not on it, but I'm under it." The Alderman smiled, the ,lawyer looked . rather spell-bound. He contin ued in the following manner— Lawyer.—" Well, sir, you had some refreshments at. the time of the agree ment?" Witness.—" Well, yes, air, we had some." "You were..perfeetly sober, Lawyer.— of course ?" Witness.—" Well, I reckon I was." Lawyer.—" How many times did you drink.?" Witness, (Counting to himself.)— "Well, let me see ; I reckon about .five or six times." Lawyer.—" And still you were per . fectly sober ?" Witness.—" Why, of course, I was just as sober then as I am now." Lawyer.—" How many glasses does it take to make you drunk 7" Witness.—" Ali! that I cannot tell. I suppose sometimes it would take more and sometimes less ; it would depend Pretty much upon the condition of my stomach." 'Lawyer.—"Tben your stomach was in rood order on that day ?" Witaess.—"lt was:" Lawyer.—" And you were , !,perfectly sober after drinking, to your own show ing, five or six. - glas.ses. Now, didn-'t you. drink- more t" Witness.—" Not at that tinie ; we had several drinks in the evening:: Lawyer.--" Now, sir, what did you drink.; was it lager beer ?" Witriess.—"No, sir." 14wy er.—" M al t or spirituous ligtior 2" Witness.—"No, sir." Lawyer:--"Was it wine ; if so, what kind ?" Witiiess.L.'Noi sir." Lawyer.—" Was it any kind of 'car- dial ?" "No, sir!" (emphatically.) Witness.— Lawyer.—" Now, sir under your:oath, tell - the magistrate what you. did. drink ; this case isliedoming important!" Witness.—".T. drank sarsaparilla." The Alderman could'not maintain his gravity' any longer, but burst into a laugh that extended 'among the parties to the suit - and spectators. • The lawyer laid down his pen, and with - rather - pale lopks, • told the witness that he might retire. WOmsxvs. Gier.s.---WOmen ought to -be of 'More importance than girls, but who does not know that the ease is - ok , itetly the reverse r '?' /low many woman do we'all know who shrink from Flociety, give their whole time to family-duties, bury themselves up at home, and,eeem toLbe of mo .other use in the•,w,orld Ann to dress their for parties, apd.ieep the louse in. ordeelor theirbearT: -Of course the'.ehildren grow up.with.the idea that mother is of no consequence and don't know the world. They go abroad.for, their Opinions lad spare all home in nonce. • VOL 10.-NO. ^ 26: The Meaning of Oyez. "Oyez I Oyez ! Oyez !" calls out the crier and rapping his baton , on the floor, he calls the court to order.. I often wondered what these words meant, but lately I learned that they were the Nor man-French for Hearkerd Hearken-I- Hearken !—and were first introduced by William the Conqueror in the elev. , enth century. Thousands of criers who used these words have never heard the meaning of them, never dream that they are obeying the behests of William, who has been nearly eight hundred years sleeping in his tomb. He tried hard to make the`people of England speak his native tongue altogether, but failed.— The Normans considered themselves immensely superior to the English, but William found it hard work incorpora ting the two, and fusing the two lan guages into one. Indeed a century passed away before it had taken place, and for more thartolcich,, hundred year after the time I ugili - otkniAng, up fO the time of-Edward the First, tileitirdi nary imprecation of ,a,I orman gentle man was, "May I become an English marl," and his ordinary form of indig nant denial was, ‘.'ITo ; you take me far an Englishman ?" an BA Macaulay quaintly remarks, "lhe descendant of such a gentleman a hundred years later was proud of the Englishmen." No SETTER.—"Sam," said a mil:after to his man of-all-work, "you must bottle the cask of whisky this afternoon ; but, as the vapor of the whisky may be inju rious, take a glass of it before you be gin, to prevent intoxication." NoW Samuel was an old soldier, and never was in better spirits than when bottling whisky ; and, having received from his ,master a special licenee to taste, went to work most heartily. Some - hours after the minister visited the cellar to inspect the progress, and was horrified to find Sam lying his full length on- the floor, unconscious of all around. "Oh , Sam," said the master, "you have not taken my advice, and you see the con sequences. Rise, Sam, snd take a glass yet, it may •restore you." Sam, nothing loth, took the glass, and having emptie,d it, said :—"Oh, :sir, this is the thirteenth glass I've taken, but I'm no better." SIMPLICITY or DRESs.—Female loveli ness never appears to so good advantage as when set off with simplicity of dress. No artist ever decks his angels with towering feathers and grand jewelry ; and our dear human angels, if they would make good their title to that name, should carefully avoid ornaments which properly belong to Indian squaws -and African princes. These trinkets May serve to give effect on the stage or on a ball room floor, but in the routine of daily life there is no, substitute for simplicity. A vulgar taste - is nut to be disguised'by gold or diamonds. NOT JaNKINEL—Not more than a hun dred years ago, an artist painted a por trait of Mr. Jenkins, who was noted for his frequent libations. The artist in vited the gentleman's friends to see it, and they inspected it and pronounced it excellent. One of them, however, Who was rather neamighted, complaining of the light, approached it to change its position, when the artist exclaimed : "Don't touch it : it ,isn't dry." "No use of looking at it, then," replied the gen tleman, "it can't be mY friend Jenkins." To Gnowtwns.---The proof that your butter is goodls that- you do not taste it. The proof that your body is in a healthy condition is that you do not feel it. The proof.that you are esjoying al - every blessing that you need, is that, you think very little about your condition. For it is human, nature to growl over everything that is,not pleas ant, and to take as a matter of course the blessings of God. air A good one is told of a Quaker volunteer who was is a Virginia skir mish. Comingin pretty close quarters with a rebel,, he, remarked—" Friend, it's unfortunate, but thee, stands just where, l'ut,soing to shoot," and, blazing.awo.y, down came the rebel. - gas A drunken Scotehmaa returning from a fair, fell asleep by. the; roadside, ,when piggoand him and begau licking his. month. Sawney roared "Ntha's kissing me noo ? Ye see wha's it is tii 'be Well like among the lasses I." _ Or' "I alp - afraid, air, you are _in a settled cdelip:obo :Fi 11." "Noa4an?, . 1 3.?9 melancholy won'i has too inudtCgoonds."
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