BY FRED'K L. BAKER.
7 Great Discovery.
,eictlßSlA's Riitiel. Nine of ihOn.
OR the cure of Weak Stomachs, general
m
debility, indigestion, diases of the
Frri t
mous Syste, constipation, acidity of
that stomach and far , an 4;40M/requiring a
Tonic.
This Wine Includes the most agreesi4 and
efficient Salt of Iron we possess; C'itra'te `of
Magaetie Oxide . combin , ol,33vith the most en
ergetic of vegetable lollies, Yellow Peruvian
Bar's. Thit letrect in Many cases of debility,
tt.lit
f4pp s, :gi ( l, L a ro u n d r e n tn e w ra n l e p d ro vi trl l it o lo ,4 n t , vh o i l u a li n_
bat Aye. MOM, is most happy. It augments
thitliPetlte, ralses'the pulse, takes off musen
lat ffittiblnew removes the paler of debility,
and givei It 'florid vigor to the countenance.
De you , ortutt something to strengthen you ?
Doyou want a good appetite 1
Do you want to build up your comititution ?
L o s you want to Nil well?
, you want. to get rid of nervousness',
,
you want energy 7
PO y . ou want to sleep well?
Po
you want a brisk and vigorous feeling?
tol} do, try
KUNKEL'S BITTER WINE OF IRON!
"This truly valuable Tonic has been so
•IbereOgllly test..d by all classes of the commu
nity, that it is now deemed indispensable as
se Toole medicine, It costs but little, purifies
the blood, gives tone to the stomach, renovates
lb* 'yokel'', and prolongs life. I now only
Afk Wei of this valuable Topic.
COUNTERFEITS
Bit AWARE OE COONTERF.EiTs.—As Kpa-
MeV. linter Wine of Iron is the only sure and
.effectual remedy in the known world 'or the
' stmenent cure of . Dyspepsia ' and Debility,
d as there are a number of imitations o fret
,to the public, we would caution t e com-
Minty to purchase none but the genuine at
tiele, manufactured by S..A. Kunkel, and has
Lis Muhl on the top of the cork of every bot
tle. ,Thtilt , ery fact that others are attempting
to totitste l / 4 this valuable remedy, proves its
worth andweaks volumes in its favor.
The Bitter Wine of Iron is put up in 75 cent
sod $l.OO kettles and sold by all respectable
Dtuggists tltrougllout the country. Be par
ticular that (very bottle bears the fao sinnie of
the. giroprietles aiguatuie. . , 44
' Gencifttl Depot, 118 Market Street,
liarriSliiirg, Pa.
~,.- ,
113" . For ale by Dr. Beane & Co., and all
raspectable;44oo.ers everywhere
--"re• •
IVI,
AN kt 00 D : Now lost! d - 7
_ ix* RESTORED ,
JUST PlrtiLiStiED IN A SEALED :> '.rte
SIX LIINTS. -
A Lecture on the !Caine,' Treatment and
Aadierl 'Cure of Sperillatorchoita pr ,Seminale,
Weaknees, Involuntary Emissions, Sexual
Debilitf, and impediments .to marriage gener a ,
ally, Nervousness,.Consumptiou, Epilepsy and*
nal:Mental and Physical incapacity, result
lug from self-abuse. &c., By Robert J. Culver
-44; Al; D., author of the "Green Book" &c.
/lie world-renowned 'author, in this admira
We lecture, clear y proves from his own expe
rience that the awful consequences bf sUlf
'abuse may be effectually removed without
medicine eml Without dangerous surgical ope
rations, tip/init.:4, instruments, rings or cordials.
pol g ring but a mode of, cure at once certain
*a ,•effectual, -by which every sufferer, no MU
-I*.wbat his conditicni, may be, may rare him- I
',..e01 cheaply, psivately and radically. This
Icture will prove a boon. to thousands afftl
itipulteuds. Sent under seal, in a pia,o envel
ope* to any address, on the receipt of t cents,
or two postage aturaps,,hy addressing
CH,iB. J. C. KUNZ
127 DOwery, New-York, P. 0. Suit, 4586.
JOHN BELL, Merchant Tailor,
Car. of Market-st., and Elbow Lane, Marietta
rIRATEFUL for past favors I would retuti
Njmy thanks to my numerous friends and pa
trons and inform them that I still continue the
old business itt the cld stand, where. I will be
pleased to see them at all %met, and laving
fell sod splendid assortment of •
CLO27IS, CASSJMERES 8 VEST(VGS,
which w,ill bf made up to order at the Aliortest
notice by, OM host of workmen, Radon ritasona
ble ter te r ).'isnylil be pleased, therefare., to wait
*pea my, old euetonaers and all who see proper
to patrodiest Ina hereafter.
MAR E2TA MARE E YARD
Michael Gable, Agt.,
MARBLE MASON AND STONE CUTTER.
9pposite the Town Halt Park, o l?„, ,
Marietta, Pa.
.c o s_ •
TSTaHE Marble business in all its branches,
will be contained at the old place, near
Town gall and opposite Funk's Cross Keys
Tavern, where every description' of marble
work will be kept on hand or made to order at
short notice and at very reasonable prices.
Marietta, June 29, 1861. 49-ly
0
HEAP LAMPS.
A' FRESH SOFPLT or
Coal Oil Lamps and Lanterns
welly patern ,
suitable for the Parlor, the
iiittihe . n and, the Chamber ; Hanging and Side
Latrigi for Hills, Churches, Stores and Offices.
purchaaed thern from the manufactu
rers in large quantities at the lowest cash rates,
vtl Ott 110/ them much under the usual retail
Ricel,although every, other description of
goods are \ advancing.
PATTERSON 4r CO.
~ ~
A MERICAN HOTEL,
PO ILADELPHIA.
Located on Chestnut street, opposite the
OLD. S PATE HOI ISE.
and In cloae proximity to the principal Jobbing
and Importing. Houses, Banks, Custom House,
and places of amusements. The City Cars
'ern be takeat the door (or within a square)
ter any dept in the City. The House has ?
hies nenov ed and rehttea.
g
prIRMS $1:75 PER DAY.. ^s
WYATT & HEULINGS,
PROPRIETORS
Wbit& PERCHA BLACKlNG—without
rualting: For Boots, Shoes, Harness,
Cirriagesdand Military Leather Work. It
giveif the leather a polish like patent leather,
makes•it water proof, does not stain the whit
est article pf dress and need not be applied of
tener titan two or three times a month.
For naltat Dr. Landis' Drug Store.
CIOt.CE Lot of Books for children called
tudist(uctable Pleasure looks ; School and
apvir Hooka, Statinnitry,' Pthis, Pen holdfril;
For sale by Dr. Landis. _
Nii
[1 H i RY & Oak Wood, 50 Cords each
Bic and Oak Wood. Orders-must
be , accumpa with the cash when they will
bil-Pri:MlPtly le. Spangler & Patterson.
. , „,
BUY one of utiful S OFT MI
HATS at ca - 92 Market:4ft. AL
•
1 . 30 OH LEN'$ long celeb edA.;l:l4,
H. D.' 8E JAM ES N
t 4111111 ) 111
tikpctiVrilt Vatitslibattia licturng: igrbottV to . Plaits, Sitcrature, Agriculture, Reim of tie kgag, Intal 4nitiligtntr, ft.
D R.. HOOPLAN
G ERNI A.N BITTERS
' 'Prepared by. Dr. C. M. Jackson,
Philadelphia, Pa.
IS NOT A BAR-ItuUM ImINK, OR A
SUBSTITUTE FUR RUX,
Or an Intoxicating Beverage, but a highly con
centrated Vegetable Extract, a Pure Tonit,
free from alcoholic stimulant or injurious drugs,
and will effectually cure
Liver Complaint,
Dyspepsia, - and
Jaundice.
1-100FLANDI GERBIAN BITT g aS
WILL. CURE EVERY CASE OF
Chronic or Nervous Debility, Disease of the
Kidneys, and Disease; arising from a
Disordered Stomach.
OBSERVE THE FOLLOWING s'rMPTOMS
resulting from disci' ders of the digestive organs:
Co , istipal ion, inward Piles, Fu,ness or Blood
to the Head, Acidity of the Stomach, Nausea,
Heartburn, Disgust for Food, Fullness or
weight in the Stomach, sour eructations, sink
ing or fluttering of tne Pit orthe Stomach,
swimming of 'he Head, hurried and difficult
breathing, fluttering at the heart, choking or
suffocating sensations when in EL lying posture,
dimness of vission, dots or webs before the
sight, fevet and dull pain in the head, defici
ency of perspiration, yellowness of the skin
and eykis, pain in the side, back, chest, limbs,
&e, sudden - flushes of heat, burning in the flesh,
constant immaginings of evil, and, great ',de
pression of spirits.
1100FLAND'S GERMAN BITTERS
WILL GrVE YOU .
A, Good Appetite,
WrJrig erves,
lizalthy Nerves,
Deady Nerves,
Brisk Feelings,
liairEetie Feelings,
Betittlry. Feetings,r.,.
A Good Constitution,
A Strong Constitution,
A Healthy Constitution
A Solna Conititution;
WILL .MAICX THE WEAK ,STRONG,
Will make the
%Vill make the
Will make the
Will make the
Sallow Complexion Clear,
Will make the Dull eye
Clear and Bright.
Will prove a blessing in every
43—Can be used with perfect safety by male
or 'Female, Old - or Young.
PARTICUL'It NOTICE.
There ar•e many preparations i spid under the
name of Bitters, put up in quart bottles, com
pounded of the , .cheapest W nissey or CUIDMOD
RUM., costing from 20 to 40 cents per gallon,
the thste di'sguised by Anise or Coriander aer.d.
Tina clis.ss of Bittisa has caused and will con
tinue to cause, as long as they can be sold,
hundreds to die tte &Silk of a drunkard. By
their use the system is kept continually under
the influence of alcoholic stimula.,ts of the
worst kind, the desire fur liquer is create 1 and
kept up, and the result is ail the horrors at
tendant upon a drunkard's life and.death. Be
ware them.
For those who desire and will have a liquor
bitters, we 'publish the tolloWing receipt :
Get one bottle Howland's German Bitters and
mix with three quarts of good Whiskey or
Brandy, and the reault will be a preparation
that will far excel in medicinal virtues and
true excellence any of the numerous liquor
bitters in the market,•and will c .at much less.
You will•bave alldke v i rtueaof Hoofland's Bet
ters in connection with a good article of liquor
and at a much less price then these inferior
preparations will cost you. . _
DELICATE CHILDREN
Those suffering from wurrasntus, wasting
away, with scarcely any flesh on heir bones,
are cured in a very short time ; one bottlo in
such cases, will have most surprising effect.
DEBILITY,
Resulting from Fevers of any kind—these bit
ters will renew your strength in a short time.
FEVJEIi. AND AGUE.—The chills will not re
turn it these Bitters are used. No person in a
fever and ague district should be without them.
From. Rev. T. Newton Brown, D. D., Editor
of the Encyclopedia of Religious Knowledge.
Although not Cisposed to favdr or recommend
Patent Medicines in general, through dist' ust
a their ingredients and effects; I yet know
of no sutfimmt reason why a man ma) not tes
tify to the benefits he believes himself to have
received from any simple preparation, in the
hope that he may thus coati ibute to the bene
fit of others.
I do this more readily in reirard to Hoofland's
German Bitters, prepared by Dr. C. Id. Jackson
because I was prejudiced against them for a
number of yours, under the impression that
they were elfiedy an alcoholic mixture. lam
indebted to my friendßo b't 4memaker,
for the rternoval of this prejudice by proper
tests, and for encouragement to try them, when
suffering from great and long debility. The
use of three bottles of these bitters, at the be
ginning of the present year, was followed by
evident relief, and restoration to a degree of
bodily and mental vigor which I had not felt
for six months before, and had almost dispair
ed of regaining. I therefore thank God and
my friend for directing me to the use of them.
• J. NEWTON Reowrr.
Philadelphia, June 23, 1362.
ATTENI lON, SOLDIERS
AND THE FRIENDS OF SOLDIERS
We call the attention of all havin& relations
or friends in the army to the fact that " Hoof
land's German Hitters " will cure nine-tenths
of the diseases induced by privatiop and ex
posures incident to camp life. In the lists,
published almost daily in the newspapers, on
the arrival of the sick, it will be noticed
a very large proportion are suffering from de
bility. Every case of that kind.can be readi
ly cured by lioalland's German Bit ters. We
have no hesitatiot in stating that, if these bit
ters are freely used among our soldiers, hind
reds,of lives might be saved that otherwise
would be lost.
The proprietors are daily receiving thankful•
letters from sufferers in the army and hospi
tals,who have-been iestored to health by the use
of these Bitters, sent to them by their friends.
Beware of counterfeits , ! fee that the sig
nature of "C. M. Jackson,' is on the wrapper
of each bottle.
Large Size, $1:00 per bottle, or dozen for $5.
Medium size, 75c per bottle, or 2 of (lozen for $4
3.41 e larger size, on account -the quantity
the bottles hold, are much 'the cheaper.
ShoUld your nearest druggist not have the
article, do not be put off by or) of the intoxi
cating preparations that may be offered in its
place, but send to ye, and we will forward,
securely packed, by ex p ress.
Pfindsca Office and Mantgaclori!
Nd. - 631 'Attar STREET.
JONES . & EVANS,
(Suoclasora to C. ), . ,Tacintori& - ,C0,)
I . 'l.
FOr` site : Druggists and Dmlllf if:Z r y
,wrqin the United Mates. [may 30-ly
' • Delicate Beatty,
Thin Stout,
Depressed Lively,
PRI CES.
MARIETTA, PA., SATURDAY, DECEMBER 26, 1863.
IPuTaliAtz4 cbtrp .saturbal ,faornim,g
oFF i r , E Cautes Row, Front Street, five
$ doors below Flury's Hotel.
TERMS, Clue Dollar a year, payable in ad
vance, and if subscriptiors be not paid within
six months $1.2.5 will be charged, but if de
layed until the expiration of the year, $1.50
will be charged.
ADVERTISING RATES One. square (12
lines, or less) 50 cents for the first insertion and
26 cents ft. 4 each subsequent insertion. Pro
fessional and 13usiness cal da, of six lines or less
at $3 per a - a num. Notic,^s in the reading col
umns, fire cents a-line. Marriages and Deaths,
the simple announcement; irREE but for any
additional lines, rive cents a line.
A liberal deduction made to yearly and balf
yearly advertisers.
Having recentled added a large lot of new
Job and Laril type, Cuts, Borders, &c., to the
Job Office of "The itlariettian," which will
insure the fite execution of all kinds of Jos &
CARD PRINTING, from the smallest
Card to the largest Poster, at prices to suit the
War times.
IF I CHOOSE.'
If I choose to love the maid;
What is that to you, I prayl
Do you think I am afraid
Ot your sneers
And your jeers 1
Do you think so, say 1
If I choose to wind my heart
Deftly round and round her own,
What is that to 3sou—upstart,
That you ga
Scolding so,
•
Leaving me alone?
She is humble, it is true,
And perhaps not rich—in gold,;
What is, that, 1. ask, to you,
That your eyes
Look surprise,
" And Youi• 'voice grows cold.
You're a fool ! and I am wise;
You love money -I love her;
What care you which most I prize
Go at once,
Sordid dunce,
I'll not hear you, eat.'
What care I for gems and gold?
Bring they peace or 'happiness r
Bring they youth wlian we are old•?
Bring they aught •
Theis shught, -
Buman hearts to bleral
iTo 1 but true love firings them all ;
Ifis full of blessings rare--
It Wings Sus that do not pall; '
Pleasures bright, . • '
Sweet de , ight,
Antidotes for care.
So I'll love my little mnid,
And you shall not say ; ;me tiny;
Do you think I am afraid
Of your sneers •
And your jeers,
Foi a moment, pray?
ADVICE To Bo vs.—" You were made
Co be kind," says Horace Mann, "gener
oui and magnanimous. If there is a
boy in the school who has a club foot,
don't let him know that you ever saw
it. If there is a poor boy with ragged
clothes, don't talk about rags when he
is within hearing. If there is a lame
boy, assign him some part of the. game
which does not require running. If
there is a dull one, help him to get his
lessons. If there is a bright one, be
not envious of him; for if one boy is
proud of his talents, and another is en
vious of them, there are two great,
wrongs, and no more talent than before.
Ha large? or stronger boy bee - injured
you, and is sorry for it, forgive him, an d
request the teacher not to punish him.
All the school will shori•by their coun
tenance how much better it is than to
have a great fist."
eir A young couple about to be mar
ried, had proceeded as far as the church,
door, when the gentleman, stopped his
intended bride, and.,Eikid :
"Dear Eliza, during our courtship I
have told you most of my irdr.d, hut I
have not told you the whole ; when we
are married, I shall insist upon =three
things."
"What are they asked the lady.
" In the first place," said the bride
groom, "I shall sleep alone, I shall eat
alone, and find fault whoa therejs no oc.
casion ; can you submit to those ,coo.
ditions ?"
" 0 yes, sir, very easily," was, the re
ply—"for if you sleep alone I shalt not
—if you eat alone, I shall at flrst-•.-and,
as to your finding fault without occa
sion, that I think may be prevented, for
I will take' care you shall never want
occasion."
tar A lady, remarkable for having
high sense of her own dignity, being one
day detained in her carriage, by the uu
loading of a cart of coals, in a ver i 7 Dar.
row street, leaned both her arms upon
the door;and asked the man, "How dare
you, sir, stop a woman of quality in the
street V "Women of quality !" said
the man. ' '‘Yes, - fellow !"- rejoined the
lady ;•don't'you-see my arms' upon the
carriage?" '"Yes, 1" do iiidebd; he' re
plied, "and a pair of costae .arms they
are, too I"
CIIRIS AS-11R tE
A Little German story, - rendered - from memory
The poet Bernhard sat in his little
dwelling-room in the fifth story of a
picturesque old house in a closely built
street of a ducal capital. Near him
played his three rosy buys; while Er
mingarde, his sweet blonde wife, plied
her household tasks, only pausing now
and then to turn• a cheerful glance to
ward the dormer window nook where
Bernhard was writing, or softly to leave
a kiss on his broad, white brow, as she
passed to and fro behind his chair.
It was the week before Christmas;
and the, three boys gathered in a knot
before the blazing are, were recounting
the last. fear's gifts of the good Christ
kindchen, and. innocently wondering
what they would receive this year.
"I know what I would like!" ex
claimed Paul, earnestly clasping his lit
tle hands, "if the dear Christ-kindchen
will find me worthy of it—a book of
fairy tales, filled with beautiful pictures,
liks the one we saw in the bookseller's
window."
"And I," said Herman, "can. think
of nothing I would like so well as a
rocking-horse a very little larger then
that of our neighbor's son Heinrich,
down in the third story."
"As for me," lisped little Perti, "I
would choose a basket of sugar-plums,
wrapped in gold and silver paper and—"
"Oh, I have it !" joyfully interrupted
Herman. "Let us write the dear Christ
kindeheu a letter, asking for these
gifts !"
"Papa, papa!" and •the children
sprang to his side,--"will you be so kind
as to write a letter for. us 7"4 -
"And to whom,, my. littlemmn;?P aeked.
the father, looking up in a amiliog; eur-i
prise,
. 6 qo: 'Cbrist-kindehen, papa we
tell,you say)? - •
And Bernhard prepared to _write, at.
dictatioo.r.,'UF . • ,"
«Dear,•. Goad , ChrisGkindckerN-- Do,
please; bring•ns In rocking horse, a hook
of fairy tales with' lovely, pictures, and
basket of sugar-plums, this. Christmas,
and do not Forget, dear Christ.kindelen,
that we live in room No. 20, fifth story.;
of House No. 340, Lioderr Strasse. Your
"Pitta., Elsustart, AND LITTLE ?ERTL"
When theletter was written, neatly
folded and addressed to "Christ kind
chen," the boys peritiaded. Bernhard to
open hie window; and cast-it far out on'
the roof, confident that those heavenly
eyes would look down and see it, all in
good time.
That night there arose a great storm
of aind•and silo*, and the little white
messenger was lifted up and borne over
the high roofs of more than one street
to the Government Square, where
rested at last on the ledge'of one of the
upper casements of the •ptilace < of the
Grand Duke.
Long after the nest'morning's sun
had risen over the snow-covered city, a
blue-eyed lady stood at this casement;
and, looking out on the bright Winter
- picture, beheld the tioileiter'
,the address,' "To Christ-kindehen," in
full `view. Hastily summoning her
maid, the Countess Tictoire direttp.'
the Window to be opened, and' the fo
ed paper handed to her. She lost .'6
time' in reading it.
"Dear' children`!" and, as the fair lady
finished the little pefition, tears stood
in her beautiful eyes, "God has guided
their simple words to me, perhaps that
/ may take the Ace of their dear
Christ-kindeben "
* , *
IMEN3
Christmas-day dawned brightly the'
little group of eager expectante, and, as
liernhard and Ermingarde watched their
happy faces and listened . to their impa
tient longings for night to come—this
night, when as the children firmly be-.
lieved, Christ,kindcheu would answer
their letter with the so desired gifts—
the lewd parents bad very often to turn
away to . conces.l their emotion. Alas !
their slender purse would not allow the
luxury of procuring these little presents
for their children I
After their early dinner, in preparing
which Ermingarde bad exerted, all her
skill, besides expending the best part of
her last florin in a Christmas • cake, .to
which Bernhard. and the , boys did full
justice, the dear little woman prepared
them all for a 'walk in the brilliant
Christmas.., streets, trusting that t,e
children would .become absorbed in t le
goy scenes without, and forget their ex
petted visit: from Christ-kindchen.—
With this hope-sba; and Bernhard per
mitted thorn to linger' at pleasure befare
beaatifaily arranged window's, -and
before the !lottery booths, where Bern.
hard was tempted to risk a few kraut-
zers for his little people, and won, to his
great delight, a cornet of moat:delicious.
bonbons
When night• came on, and the lumps
began to twinkle along the crowded
street, the little party'found themselves
some distance from the. Linden Strasse.
whereupon the careful mother prevailed
upon them to. turn their footsteps home
ward. But now, to her sorrow, the
children's thoughts again reverted to
Christ-kindchen and the expected gifts.
"We will End them awaiting us ;
nicht so, lieber mutter—nicht so, lieber
papa 7" was the question of each little
heart.
Impatieneeekilk wings to their feet,
and, springing, through the door opening
upon the atone stairway leading up 10
their attic home, the three boys reached
the narrow fifth story landing in advance
of their weary and heavy-hearted pa
rents.
A joyous shout from the boys, and 'a
flood of light falling in waves over the
winding stairway now startled Bernhard
and Ermingarde. Hastily mounting to
the side of their children--what a sight.
met their eyes I TheNoor leading into
their little roomiwas wide open, and in
the centre of the tidy room rose a beau
'tiful Ohrittitias.tree—a tapering dark
green: fir—in whose graceful branches
blazed innumerable waxen tapers, be
tween which hung the lovliest toys that
ever were seen, golden and silver cover
ed fruits, nuts and sugar plums; on a
little round table beneath lay three
prettily bound books, and near by stood
a fine rocking-horse, just as if he were
awaiting a rider.
Let the curtain fall on the transports
or the . children, the bewilderment of the
parents, their gratitude to the'unknOwn,
as Alley. Watobedl‘ their Atirling boys
around the radiant table. There w'efe
happy; glowidg Hearts in the
hoine that Christmas night,
The next day twolett . ers were brought
to Bernhard : The first announced to
him that the' volume of poems' submit.
ted hiin to the 'Court
, bocikiteller
few week before had been 'recoiled, tee
cepted and would , b&-p . ubliShed at the
earliest possible day. Gbod news ; but
the other letter which 'bore a gove'r'n
ment seal, raised' the happiness of the
family to a height still greater: It was
Bernhard's appointment to an 'office un
der the Grand Duke, the duties of whiCh
were little. more than noMinal, but
whose salary-(would' at once , place his
family in a position of comparative ease.
Years later, when Bernhardls name as
a poet had become known and honored
throughout his father laud, the , ., still
lovely - eohatess Vicioire confessed 6,
NM and Ertnitigaide the part 'she had'
taken in answering the letter of Paul,
Herman and Perti—now grosin to than'.
ly Youths—to Christ-kindeben;and ars°,
the fact of her hit'vitig eierted'he'r inbt
eece with the Grand Duke and'DucheaS,2
(after learning that the fathr
~,o f the'
three boys and Berohard the risinepoet,
were one and'the sanae . persoli,) in ob
taibing' for them the governtne ap
pcOtltrneut. •
THEr LAMM% AND THE larsam.ol.-- , As
a number of lawyers and gentlemen were
dining at Wiseassett, a few years since,:
a gay son of the Li'merald-Isle,appeared
and called for dinner. The landlord
told him he should dine when the gen
tlemen were done; ry
"Let Writ crowd in among us;" whie
pered•alawyer; "and we will have eome
fun with
The Irishman-took hitveeat at the is
'
MIMI
"You were born in this country, were
you, toy Mend ?"
-"No, sir, I was born in Ireland."
"Is your father living ?"
"No, sir, ha is dead."
"What is your occupation ?"
"A. horse jockey, sir."
"What was your father's occupation? "
“Trading, horses, sir"
"Did your father cheat• any person
while he was here ?" '
"I suppose he did cheat - many, sir,!" .
"Where do you suppose he went to f"
"To heaven, sk i ."
"And what do you suppose he is doilig
in heaven ?"
"Trading horses, sir.:
"114.8 he cheated any one there ?"
"lie cheated one, I believe, Sir."'
"Why didlhey not prosecute him !"
"Baconle they searched the whole
kingdOrn . a heaven, and couldn't find a
Eagle' ld'arYei." „Al
• recect popular write -aye that
wom ". won by ilegreee?)-L.
Certainly, Win-first har earn and'eyes;
then her heart,lhen her lips, and then
her hand.
f Z
4.
El
VOL2tio
• ••
•...
HDTV
The following true `story' might, per: ° - `
haps, furnish matter for a little comedy, '
if comedies were still Writteri•lo rßrig i•
land. It is generally the cake ' , that the,:
more beautiful and the richer a yrifint
'female is, the .morns difficult are boHrhei
pareuts and herself iritthe . choiesPor ii' ,
'husband, and the more offers they-rlic
fuse. The one is too tall, Alie‘other too
short, ; this not Wealthy, that not re- -
spectable enough. Meanwhile • chi -
spring passea after:another, and year '
after year carries away lest tifterleiref.
the. bloom of youth, and-opportunity - 1N
ter opportunity. Miss IlarrietBelWdlitt' '
was the richest heiress in hetbnilli've ''
town:; but she bad already4crziPhiiiitit
her twenty-seventh year, as+ beheldnii•id
most all her young frienfi f int . 3
whom she had it, onpipig,%?iter 04T,
carded.;, - ,liarriet begri &ti l t: l lw il i gi o ni t . ;
for an old maid. Her par e nts 11$41.
really uneasy, and she hersell:ilineil :, i
in private a position si , hihii , i not a rilt, T ,
tural one, and to which Ilicks e e1tpr,h219,.,
nature and foitune ha ve be i en tiiiigkillY,, ,
of their gifts are obli ged fri, iii4rikti 0,10.,
Harriet, as we have eala,l,cailbcOiliml
some and rich. Such was the
s ti t it . e i t . ,
things when her uncle, a wealthyuep,
chant iii the north of England,,„C l afee i gi t t t, ,
a visit to her parents. 11ilv”tinip,,,
lively, straight-for Ward Matt, a.peVtQFP,pik i
to attack all difficoliies lioNly 91,409117.. , ,
" You see," said: her`fattier
,ti,104..,
one day, "Harriet' co . ntinur, sihes t , rt , ,
The girl is handaoarilhaelieis
have for her fortune you know ; siveg,4„,
this scandal loving tiati,„nato,.grimhaiip
can breathe the ilightlet AuipptatAini t ft
a " p et '
s' • l4
tfp,.
against her ;an 4l i 5 ..., g i i tyk i
. 4
,
be an old maid."
~ i . 4.' J . , Ultri :4 ~7 OlitiJ
' "'Prue," replied the undle; "bntylgh,
''d
Aon, brother, the grend point Inovery
affair, in- this worldds.to iteiseAlitu Hai
moment ; . this yon, have ,, suakidrine.t-ua &Fit
a misfortune; but let‘tbti soirletreiskia , Ve
with me, and, befarti thin etughafi thillisitt
montba•l will •retuertiheantolen WhaiwilDr*
of A Tao ;48, younrwill sitiadtbrawiblirael
geif.,7 ci.ro,i.es i:i 4, ...4 woo "Nail* Ato
4, way ,, went , Aksaliecetwilifiwier. , utidifit
On . *to Imyq howeil hamthealkiddreiso , l
her •:-. ' . ~ ,7,,,,f li. H bah 04) 44111101101141 sue
" AI in& whimiltlitiirgoiiig twelity.,Walat *
are 13 Oa agar f !Mtn fiebTOOßAfin64ll.o
Lumley, my, niecetleaorrasigtAkealbk,44
child less,,wid %mu daYroui had; sliiieliarlitkildq
tune, tsi lose ininia beabatutuOaltilaWWWl*
after- ii, ~ b a, ' ppyianieti iof iqiilawk ftrollhae v
year, by, a f allgfrorripis ,, hoiveiWllitisdiailmai a
ini , ” -a: 9 4 bEi . 4' ,4 4.:; 144 ' 444 0i4 distatougpvi
"'Bet; uncle.,-"f..+"' ..kg.., -,1 7.,41,} on
a Lut melm,anage, if ybw•pliaissi,vlittiirt 4
Lumley, ...Here look .. you; its thwkiktilk'l
ding-ring ; given., you .byncyougathitaubliao '
? band. Jewels, and whatever ehmireftiv` .
need, your aunt will - tupply , ylri ii
and accustom yo u r s elf i.,,,a, g i sti m ittic .1
eyes:" ' ' ~e t , wc. ,, ati Alec
' 'The •heOrliitiedlutolltuircoilictlAtoi
nice eVeeyilieref,'N.d .thig,,i.44:idpwli,
,excited a giaki'eeiiaalion": , fhe. 1.
~ •,,, '414 4.441 1.40614.1 fl T. o f i f ,
gentieniew inrougea a out ur, an ii ~,,,
, -,41. n• li ..pet "4 t .1 I
soon had`liero9Sce or of .vc,iiktioh ,,,
ors. ' H'er'utiCle aiffisedllr u to.talcs, thiit .
One who N/iff t lje l eiltlnt l i c lOVErilfil ' .
lir lie , 1 1440110 , 1 ... ,rt
ail' a rare chance decreed thaS,, 4
. • , . ~.....; ,--J-ii ~-,ie go ii., , '
a could be precisely the writ .. .:, ~,
a, d opulent. Tlaniits,l62l,7ratiti,tis9t.
el ded, and • dfi l e ;1•14',81., 111/4-4flti°ll,,,
to :ay a few wordsto - his:Tatar° sumnew
in' • ivAttn• . .•; ,ut , .:.b.: ri) -- ,r,;-)
,i 7 dear sir,7 : i.he ~ began, "ire.,bytei , s
told you alluntrcoh t l 1 ,,, ~.., ~/,, ...
"Hoer 802 ft4ktn-• Mo. Lamle" ei6.-1
fections- 7 ',',,
Nahingof .the, , ,,kind',..rMyenieeei.hr if
sincerely attached to you.l:-.) ; .., ;.,.1.1
"'liken ber fortune, 1 sappcisa,siatisoale
I
equal to what you have told.onefl,.l.:: .;
" On the contrary, it istiarger.!'' 1 , 6 , • .-
" Well, what is thematter o .thear
"A joke, an innocentAeke,-whicke,
came into my head . ,one day when I itar....
in a good humor—we•could-not, well t's•
call it afterward. - hiyniece is ` ate
- . •
-" What •! is
" No, no ; she ialt spihsier.'
The lover proiested
pier fellote - than he had clihigeived-hitii="r
self; and the old maid.' 11*
metamorphosed into IL 3onn wife:
Somo time since, tyre ; mug JAI
dies near Newmarket,, fell inl4 company.
with a gipsy, who, foray _ , triflibcumuu.
proposed, t4B9l,:vtikeir
hushaud.' :.ces in a pail of w4tap.,
being procured, they .wefesihmirasik
o look. They did so : when dia9o,lF7,
ing nothing strata, they exclailedi:.:.
"We see only , oneOwn fad." "WidEt"
replied%the gipsy, "those will be
tbuitbitule , faubillihintito 01'
c
fine beaier hat isn't felt; but thu
3
...
ifZI
RIM