ca. - Jaci Prcrprietcn--
VOL. NINE.
PIIELIMED WEEKLY
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Jos PRINTING of every description neatly
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suit the times.
TEE PERFECT HUSBAND.
A• light unto the morn,
So time to hint unfolds her;
As holds the light the day,
So unto him he holds her.
A fairer than himself,
By One still brighter given,
A somethingless of eaeth—
A something more of heaven,
He deems her not • saint.-
111,,laving she is hurnau
And as he is a man,
The dearer she as woman.
Not doWn on her he looks,.
Nor up to an "ideal,
But straight into her ayes,
And all his love is real.
A. bends the sturdy tree
To shade a pool of water,
But itandeth I ke a rock
When wind and torrent slaughter ;
So bends he unto her.
When gentlest her controling,
'No stands he as a wall
When dangers round as. rolling.
'Tis not by greater.light,
Or privilege. he rules her ;
For 'Us his grace to yield,
That in obeying echools her—
And if the less himself,
From troublous cause, or other,
ID milder type he wears
The spirit of his .mother.
dia she may have a fault,
- &o he may have a greater,
,(Ind sorrow_for his own
~Fur both is expiator—
And if upon her sleeve
she snares a . passing lolly
lie frights it with a smile,
And not with melancholy.
Ile slaves her truth to him
Fly no confining portal,
Itut in himself reflects
Its counterpart immortal.
The freedom that he gis.,a
Is taken from the doner—
husband's faith may rent
Upon a husband's honor.
And ever as a chlid,
When. childish-like he guides her ;
And ever as a man,
'When she is strong he guides her ;
Thrnugh sunshine and through shade,
Through blessing And disaster,
•In more than risme her friend,
Inlessitian law her master.
0 lAD-FASHIONED II OS ItSTY.- A gentle.
man states that, when a boy,he was one
day in the office of his grand father, who
bald a position under - the Federal Go
vernment, and wishing to write, he was
about taking a sheet of letter-paper
from the desk. "What are you about
there ?" said the old gentleman.—
" Getting a sheet of paper," said the
boy. "Put it back, sir, put it back l'
exclaimed the strictly honest official,
"that paper belongs to the Government
or the United States l"
[lt would be truly refreshing to be
able to record such an instance as the
above at the present time.--14105.--Sci.
ontific Arperican.
BOWING POTATOES.--This is a forma
: Let each mese be of equal size.—
Let the water boil before putting the
potatoes in. When done, pour off the
water sod scatter three or four table
spoonsfull of salt, cover the pot with a
Coarse- cloth, and return it , to the fire
for a short time. Watery potatoes are
made meetly by this process. Bow sim
ple is the process, yet how few under
stand it
CLEANING GLANIL-M LE some fine
whitening in a little dilute alcohol, and
kikear it upon the glass with a soft rag,
after which rub off with chamios leather.
Looking•glasse■ may thus be cleaned,
and . fly specks, ikc., removed.
A western paper states that they
eau heard of a eat nursing little pnpies,
*sod whin' the little doge were, taken
sway the oat became furione, and- eat
etelikinj
fly Waist dap:
Ilkytittrtnt Vtaitsglinntia lournal : gitbettt* yittrature, Affriculturt, Betas of ikt gag, focal 3nttiligtutt, it.
ADVICE TO A YOUNG LADY.
"You are n4w married, and as is usual
on such occasions, your friends and ac
quaintances will profess-to wish you joy.
Many will do so as an actof common
civility, feeling little or nothing of the
sentiment which the words import--
When, however, I express a solicitude
for your welfare, I think I am entitled
to the credit of meanintsomething more
than the performance of.an empty, cere
mony. But when congratulating you.
I know nb' better way of proving the
sincerity of my professions, thin by
tendering you my advice as to some of
the means I deem necessary to be 'pm
sued in order to render your new situa
tion a matter of real felicitation.
"Young people'are very apt to think,
if they think at all on the subject, that
when they get married their cafes are
all scattered to the winds, and that their
happiness is secured for life; So far
from the truth is such a thought, that
when reality awakens them from the
dream of uninterrupted bliss, they find
their sorrows certainly doubled, and
whether their joys are to be increased
or not, depends mostly upon themselves ;
and they will Atilt find causes enough to
interrupt their happiness, though each
should do their best to precentor coun
teract them. One thing is certain, that
the married state may be made more
happy than the single life, or it may
become a state of perfect wretchedaess ;
and whether your present situation is to
be better than that you exchanged for
it, depends much or mostly on yourself.
ft is therefore a matter the first in or
der, as well as the first in importance to
you, that you should endeavor to ascer
tain the means best calculated to secure
a continuance of that kappiness which
doubtless you expected to experience
in the wedded life. On this subject I
will endeavor to assist you.
"That you were happy during the pe
riod spent in courtship, you will not
deny. That you were so, arose - from
the consciousness that you loved and
were loved in return ; and from the
pleasing hope or moral certainty that
you would attain the object of your af
fections. The hope is realized, and that
you are happy now, you need no one to
tell you. If it is the reciprocated effec
tions of your husband which make you
happy, it is yours which makes bim so ;
hence, mutual affections constitute the
source of connubial bliss ; and it is
equally true that the infelicity of the
married state, follows the loss of those
affections. On the continuance of the
affections, then, no less than on the
choice of a husband, depends your hap
pitiess in the wedded life. The means
to insure a continuance of those affec
tions, is the subject next in course for .
your consideration.
"So numerous are the instances in
which married people have lost their af
fections for each other, that the unre
fleeting have hastily concluded, that it
is easier t acquire them than attain
them. If this be true, it goes to prove
that you should be more assiduous to re
tain the affections of yoUr husband, than
you were to gain them, But it is not
true to the extent which many believe.
It, is verrunphilosophical to argue, that
like causes do not prodUce like effects
—or that the effect will cease, though
the "cause be continued. • The truth
mbst probably is, that when the affec•
time of married people become extinct,
it is owing to their neglect to continue
the causes by which those affections
were first elicited. What man in his
senses, if he knew the disposition of the
lady he addressed, would fall in love
with a sour, sulky, brawling, ill natured
woman ? It is the opposite qualities
whfch he sees, or thinks he sees, in the
lady of his choice, of which he becomes
enamored. It is a countenance illu
mined with smiles, eyes beaming with
intelligence, s mouth flowing with
sweetness and good nature—in short,
deportment indicative of modesty, mild
ness and benignity, to which he pays
the homage of his heart. If such were
the causes by which were quickened the
tendeiness of the lover, rely on it that
nothing short of those will insure the
affections'of the husband; for when the
causes subside, the effects must necessa
rily cease, and then misery and wretch
edness will become the inmates of your
househo'd.
"More of the happiness of married
people is involved in their conduct du
ring the first year, than in any succeed
ing period of their connubial associa
tion. There Bret probably but few in
stances *here Oersons newly married do
not aisoever,4 and that, tee; is se ft*
1:, • -i-i.......4 : :::::..#-...7: : - : ..,.411i-+
AFTER EIER MARRIAdE.
mAT-.s.,:r.F 4 TT-4, P.A...,,-154.T7T.T.R.pxy,,..,KAY . - '3O _iBe3:
period' of their matrimonial relation,
each iu the other, some trait of charge.
ter which had before escaped their ob
servation—and much, very much, of the
felicity of their lives, depends on the
course they may pursue on those ,occa
-810139. Should the newly discovered
faults or follies of the. husband appear
to' be such as to preclude .the hope of
their being corrected, however unpleas
ant the task, the wife's earnest- course
wilt be to endeavor to accommodate her
self to them. If she cannot bring her
'circumstances to her mind, the alterna
tive is to try to bring her mind to her
'circumstances. Custom and habit tend
to lessen the effect of evils which can
not be destroyed ; and common pru
dence will induce her to conceal from
her husband her 'knowledge of those
faults of his which she cannot expect to
obviate because it will riot inctease his
affections for her shorild he think that
hers for him are in the wane. If a wo
man would correct the faults or follies
of her husband, she should refleot that
she can only do, it by "means of her influ
ence over him--that she has, in general,
no other Influence than what arises from
his affections for her—that'the continu
ance of these depends on The Continu
ance of the causes by which they were
kindled,—and you may rest assured, that
whatever female patience, mildness,
good humor, arid tender affection cannot
accomplish with a husband, frowns,
sulks, sharp reproofs, and ill-natured re
proaches can never achieve. By the
former he may be soothed and softened
into complaisance, and willingly led to
abandon a foible or a fault ; but the
latter will inevitably tend to sour. his
mind, to curdle all the milk of human
kindness in his bosom, warm his resent
ment, excite his opposition, and confirm
him in error.
"My acquaintance with your husband
has Mimed me to believe, that bis
whole heart and soul accompany big af
fections and aversions ; and that it de
pends much pr mostly on the exercise
of your prudence and discretion, wheth
er he will be to you a kind and tender
husband, or at unpleasant and nninter
eating associate. Perhaps you are now
about to ask, if the wife must make all
and the• husband no sacrifice to promote
connubial concord and domestic peace ?
I mean no such thing—on the contrary,
so much depends on your mutual en
deavors, that without the husband's, the
wife's cannot succeed. But the path I
have pointed out for you to take, is the
surest, nay the only one to be pursued to
produce or continue -in hint ' the disposi
tion.to a corresponding course of meas
ures. Can that bi called a sacrifice
which promotes ilomesoa blies ? As;
well may he he said to sacrifice: his
money who gives it for alarger sum.
"You will be disappointed if you ex
pect your husband's face always to be
the sporting place of smiles and graces,
or his mind at all times attuned to the
soft melody of harmonious strains---
CAs well expect eternal sunshine, cloallesE
skies,
As men forever temperate, calm and wise'
Sickness, disappointment, and perplexi-*
ty in his busixess, and a thou.sand name
less causes, cannot but sometimes oper
ate to disturb his mind, depress his
spirits and becloud his visage ; produ
cing, perhaps unusual taciturnity, or a
strain of language not remarkable for
its millifluent cadences. This is not the
occasion on which he is, to be met with
a corresponding deportment on the part
of his wife. It is rather the time when,
the exercise of all her philosophy is in.
dispensable, a time when her temper is
to be tried, her heart probed, and her
affections put to the test; the time when,
by her kind, soft, and sympathizing lan
guage, and a countenance and conduct
bearing testimony to its sincerity, that
he is to be comforted at least with the
reflection, that he has a friend in adver
sity as well as in prosperity, a partner
in his sorrows as well as in his joys. I
may possibly be singular in the opinion,
but I could never entertain the fullest
confidence even in the virtue of that fe- .
male whose sympathies could not be ex.
cited by the sorrows of others ; and
surely a wife can never appear so inter
esting and amiable in the eyes of her
husband, as when sees her melting
with kindness to him, and sorrowing for
his sorrows. In short it should be the
object of your unremitted attention, to
make him feel that his home is a place
of refuge from his cares, a sanctuary
from the frowns of adverse fortune, and
he will seek it as naturally as he would
desire his own felicity. But when a
husband ceases to regard his home as
the happiest place on, earth, he . would
shun it as he would fly from his troililes';
and es it eftei happens; will take the
road to rutn, ancl seek at the ale-house,
the gaming -table, or more indeueut,
places, a refuge from domestic broils,
the consequences ofleirieb, thetighofien
teen, are too disgtistiag for . detail. -
"It - could nof be deemed . a compliment
to your busband's taste,' to - suppose he
will be entirelYiedtfferenh- to your ocll
dress, or PleaSed to see. you - Careless in
this reepecf, either at home-- or abroad.
Those wives have not reflected ranch,
who think a slipshod' slattern hazards
nothing of her husband's good opinion
or that the hick of neatness in domestic
dress is not a certain indication of her
indolence and the disordered aspects of
her habitation. 'lryour husband loves
you,'he Could not but feel sotriewhat of
disappoiotment, should the personal ap
pearance of his wife be much inferior to
that of the girl he courted, or to the igen. •
erality of those females with. whom you
may happen to associate. He cannot
but makecomparisons, and it should be
your care , tha,f they should,not result in
your disadvantage. _
..Extravaganc.e in dress should also
be avoided as ill calculated, to increase
the respectability of a married lady, and
it sometimes occasions surmises , nowise
creditable to the female character. •In
deed, you ought, by consulting,your hue-
band's wishes in thigi respect, to leave
him not a doubt, that your dress is
fashioned to meet his approhation, more
than to attract the gaze or gain, the ad
miration of any or every other person.
It• may be, thought, perhaps, by some
that the dress of the wife is, to the hus
band, a matter of very trifling conse
quence ; but 'rely upon , it, the e f fect . of
disregarding his opinions on this subject,
is not always wholly unimportant.
...You have doubtless seen and heard
enough to knOW, that nothing short of
crime can more impair the rnspedtability
of a married lady, than often being seen
at public plades unattended by her hus
band. " , Should yours have no desire" to
be thrUnged with company a!, home, nor
di position to seek it abroad ; or shetild
von unfortunately aspire to live in a
style inconsistent
_with his feelings or
resources, I have already said 'enough to
show yon, that no .y action of yours eavor
ing of opposition, no kkok.soured with
disappointment, nor expression tinctur
ed with reproach, will dispose him the,
more to gratify your wishes.. That such
means cannot.succeed. with a man of
sense and.ipirit, is as obvious as the in
discretion -'through Which .they are
adopted. '
"Abrupt contradiction of any one,
though sometimes the effect of an un
guarded moment, is generally regarded
as a sure indication of low and vulgar
hreeding ; but such conduct in a wife
towards a husbapd, seldom fails to ren
der him ridiculous and her contemptible
in 'the estimation of all , who may happen
to witness such at instance of her folly
and imprudence. Much of the.tespect
ability of the wise, is reflected from the
husband`; and when fAle';',by her india-
cretion, lessens his, she itiAlure to sink
her-own in public estimation.
"To conclude—l have voluntarily and
perhaps officiously offered you my...coun
sel, and the best my judgeMent can af4
fOrd. My motive , is your good but it
depends on yourself 'whether or not it
will be useful .to 'you. But keep this
letter by you. and if at theiiilad of three
or four' years,.you shall think,,yourself
not benefited by,its contents, you have
my assent to burn*.
"That the blessinga of health, peace,
and prosperity may attend you through
life, is the sincere wish and earnest hope
of your friend."
ear At a country town, one Sunday
evening, fatigued with his long journey
a wagoner,
.with his son John, drovehis
team into a good rang, and determined
to pass the Sabbath enjoying a season
of worship with the' good folks of the
village.. When the time for worship
arrived, •John was sent to. watch the
team, while the wagoner went in with
the crowd. The. preacher had hardly
announced his subject' . before the old
man fell sound asleep. Hi ;sat against
the partition in the centre of the body
slip ; just over against him, seperated
only by a very loci partition, sat a fleshy
lady, who seemed all absorbed' in the
sermon. She struggled hard with her.
feelings, but unable to control them
any longer she burst out with a load
scream, and shouted to the top other
voicn, arousing the •old Man; who, but
half awake, threw his arms around her
waist and cried, very soothingly hoa
Nancy l' whoa, Nancy I Here John,"
•
canine his sen;'cicut the'lbelly-band and
loosen ibet'brelkingl'fgqiCk she'll ,
tsar vrerythiagi'
..; 1 1_1:31-11 11 1854
Profession and Practice,
Twnikiiids-of witnesses are often 'en
countered in courts of justice-4h., un
willing *Ruse, and the tnewilling , Wit-
Deis. Here'is one who daesetreeein to•
come under either category.
Tbe . piolectiting atteiney 'thus ad=
dresses •
"Mi. Parks; state, if yon •• please.;
whether the defendant; to:your know];
edge.'has ever followed any profession."
"Ile bad - been c professoreversiiice I
have known him."
! , st profosoor of what 17.
"A ,profeoso; of *eon." . •
"You dot understood we, Mr. Parks.
What• does } I)e,do
"Well, generally what be . pleases.";
"Tell • thejury, Mr. Parks, whet .the
defendant follows."
"Gentlemepo(lhe jury„the Oefeodant
follows, the crowd THheia they go to
- ,• •
"AIL Parks,
,this kind otprevation will
not do here. Now, state, sir, :how t h e
defendant ,supports bitnitelf."
"I saw him last night supporting him
selr against a,.lamp - post."
!gNiny .your Honor, this wa
nes sholvkan evident disposition .to tri
fle with this, honorable, court."
The Oourt-"Mr. Parks, elite, if you
know anytlliog a.bout it. what the de.
fendant'a occupation is. Pie court, let ,
me, say, haE§ no idea that you mean to be
dieingenious."
"Occupation, did you say,,eir"
"Occupation;' answered the.judge.
"Yeb," echoed the counsel. "What
ie.his occupation 7" •
"If 1 am not mistaken, he occupies_ a
garret somewhere in town."
"That's all, Mr. Parks. understand
you to say that the defendant ie - a' pro
.
fessor,orreligion 4
oRe is.
. .
"Does his piactice coriespondent
with his 'profeisiori ?" •
"I.' never hpard °tatty correspondence
or letters of any kind."
"Iran said ecHnOthing shod?. his pros
pensiti for drinking. Doe's in drink
hard ?" '
"No, sir 1 `l' think he drinks as easy
as any maw I . ever saw."
"One more question, Mr." Parks--you
have known this nefendant-aj long time.
What are - his babits—rointe- or other
wise ?"
"The one - he has got on noir, I think,
ie rather,.tight under the acme--it is `cer
tainly too short waisted for the faith-
ion."
"You can take yiitir seat, Tvti. Fait's."
• Canativ!—A lady had a' magnificent
cat. Mrs. Jones neighbor, ordered her
man servant to kill it, as it alarmed, her
canary. The lay sent mousetraps to
all her friends, and - When two or three
hundred mice were caught, she had them
put into a box, which was forwarded to
the cruel neighbor, who eagerly opened
what she hoped was some elegant pres
ent, when out jumped ;the mice, to her
great'horror and filled her house. At
the hottern of the boa she founds paper
diiected to her, from her 'neighbor, say
ing, "Madam, as you my cat, I
take the liberty of sending 'you - my
mice.,
. ABOUT SIGARS.—Some speculative .
philosopher r ays that the eigars consum
ed throughout the country in one year;
would make a worm fence 6 feet high"
around the- District of Columbia; and
air expelled .in smoking them would
drive the Banks 1. xpadition round the
world . with.enough over to do g the wind
work of all the patent medicines in the
United States.
isr Mrs: Fitidragon has long- been
waiting to visit Highgate-Wood Cemei
tery, and the othei day 'she said. to her
husband, "You hive never taken'me to
the cemetery." "No. dear; that is a
pleasure I haVe yei had' only in anticipa
tion."--[VVIIO Said "Wretch ?"]
Gir "Halloo, Fred, what are you wri
ting—poetry V' "Yes," said Fred
"I'm writing an owed (ode) to. my tail
or." "What's the time and-tope ?"
continued Tdm. "Time, -sixty , days,"
replied Fred. "It's set to notes °tango
in his possession."
The - Bangoi Whig lids heaid of 'a slut
hound; in that regidn, that adopted and
suckled a' litter of young foxes, the
tooth'ei'of Which she had killed.
Why is'the .American flag like the
stare in '•heaven; . Beeime the stars
(and stripea):ean't be pulled down.
Ifinonity ituour,Godi. it will be Cep.,
folirtwilsgsWyen-Poi tie WI;
NO. 44-.'
1:41[01e141110 A !Jecness.—Harper's
.'Drawer.' ccintains , this "ear,Aling" an-
ecdote :
The - enrolling officer of Hailsbury
District,
,Maryland, wasyery active and
thorcugh in the perforrn,ance of his
duty. One day- he went to the house of
a countryman, and finding none Of the
male, members of the family •at home,
made inquiry of an old *omen, the num
her and age of the "males" of the fam
ily. After naming.several, the old lady
stopped. : 4 . •
"Is there no one else reAskeilklus. oil-
En
"No!" replied the , vroman,unone
ez
cept Billy Bray,'?
"Billy• Bray I where is he
"Ha was at the barn a moment um":
said the old lady.
Out went . the officer, but could not
see the man.. Coming back, the - worthy
officer questioned the old lady as to the
age Billy, and went away, after enroll
ing his name among Uwe- to be drafted.
Time of the drafting came, and one of
those on whom the lot fell was Billy
Iray. • No, one knew him. Where did
helive ? The officer who enrolled him
was call 4 on to produce him, and, 1 0,
behold, Billy. Bray wi;s a jackass I and
stands now on the list of drafted men•es
forming'one of the quota of Maryland.
The following rich scene i 8 stiid
to have lately occurred in one of the
Courts of justice between thejiidge and
a Dptch witness all the way front Rot
terdam : Judge--"ViThat's your native
language?" pe no native.
Ise'a Dootchman." J.—" What's your
mother tongue:?" W.—"Oh, fader pay
she pe all tongue." J. in , an irritable
tone)—What language did yon speak in
the- cradle ?" W.—"l tid not no lan
guage in to cradle _ speak , at all ; I only
cried in Dutch." •
• itir A precocious youth, a student
in an . academy, not fifty miles from
Delhi, not laving the fear of , seceah be
fore him, and instigated by , the spirit
of truth ; being asked in his geography
what they raised in South. Carolina, re
plied, "They used to raise niggers and
cotton, but . . now they are raising the
devil."
sir A Yankee boy had a whole Dutch
cheese set. before him by a waggish
friend who, however, gave him no knife;
"This is a funny cheese, Uncle Joe, but
a here shall ',cut it ?" "Oh," said the
grinning friend, "cut it where you like."
"Very well," said the Yankee, coolly
putting it under his arm, "I'll cut it,at
home."
40 . It is a very Singular thing, said a
tuner's aftptentice to . his, master, that
the less there is of a thing. the more
theie flow can that be? eaid'the
Why there's that bobtail coat
—the less you make "the tail the more
boir it is. •
sir_ w hat are,the points of difference
between the Prince of , Wales, - an or
phan, a bald .head, and a gorilla t -Th•
Prince is heir apparent,ran orphan has
ne'er a parent, a bald head has no - hair
apparent, and:a gorilla has a hairy pa.
rent, -
GirThe gentleman who returned his
neighbor's borrowed umbrella was seen
a day or two ago walking in company
with the young lady who passed a look
ing glass without taking a peep. It is
believed they are engaged.
sr At a fancy ball; in Paris a mar
cbioness is describCd to appearing cov
ered with ivy. The character she re
presentsd is not stated, but we surmise
it must Mast have been an old rain—her
husband I
Garldiss Young, the female Blondin,
hiti broken one of her legs and it: can't
be mended. She has danced through a
good part of her life, and must hobble
through the rest—like a good many oth.
era.
ir A marriage is noticed-in the Dux
bury Times, in which the uithairii pair
are unusually explicit in - etktiug their
pbeitiou. They say "b"o:'earcll4.tin re
ceptibrie, no weddingjoui."
F
far "I'll pay yobikt, ' t,v., , se
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bad in vain attemped' to film or
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ably inbabited.
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