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F'_ Li- 72._A_I-M - P1. 7 Editor an_cl_ Proprietor_
VOL. NINE.
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THE IRISH PICKET,
I'm standing in the mud, Biddy,
With not a spaineen near,
And silence, spaichless as the grace,
Is all the sound I hear.
Me goon is at me shoulder arms,
I'm wetted to the bone ;
And when I'm after spakeing out.
I find myseli alone.
This Southern climate's (ware, Biddy,
A quare and bastely thing,
Wild winter absent all the year,
And summer is the spring.
Ye mind the hot place down below?
And may ye niter fear,
I'd draw comparisons—hut then
It's awful warrum here.
The only moon I see, Biddy,
Is one small star, asthore,
nd that's ferniest the very cloud
It was behind before.
The watch-fires Blame along the bill
That's swellin' to the South,
Anil whin the sentry passes - them ;
I Ace his oggly mouth.
I:'s dead for shiape I am, Biddy,
And dramein' shwate I'd be,
If them ould rebels over there
would only lave me free;
wnen I lane aginst a stbump,
And sthrive to get repose,
rnuhket ball be's comin' atbraight
To leis me spacious nose.
11's 3 e I'd like io see. Biddy,
A spharl:ing here.wid me,
And then, avourneen here you say,
"Aeuhia—rat—machree!"
" Och, Biddy, darlint," then says I;
Says you, "Get out of that !"
hays 1, "Mc arrum mutes your waste
Says you, " Be daycent, Pat!"
And }IOW'S the pigs and ducks, Biddy?
It's them I thidk of, shore,. ,
That look SO innocent and shwate
Upon the parlor (lore ;
I'm shore yer aisy with the pig
That's fat as he can be,
:Ind fade him with the best, bekase
I'm told he looks like me.
When I come home again, Biddy,
A sargent tried and thrue,
k's just a daycent house I'll build,
And rint it chape to you.
Well hare a pallor, bed-room, ball,
A duck uond nately done,
itn hitchen, pig-pen, praty patch,
And garret—all in one.
F:tt mutther,thete's a baste, Biddy,
That's crapin' round a tree,
And well I know the crature's there
To have a shot at me.
sow, ;Mather Rebel, say yer players,
And howid yer dirty paw ;
lin: goes !-:--be jabers, Biddy, dear,
He's hit me on the jaw!
CORRECT SPEAKING.—We advise all
I ng people to acquire in early life the
;t of using good language, both in
eking and writing, and to abandon as
•ly as possible any use of slang words
1 phrases. The longer they live the
.o difficult the acquisition of good tan
go will be ; and if the golden age of
the proper season for the acquisi
of language, be passed in its abuse,
unfortunate victim of neglected (An
ion is, very properly, doomed to taili
ng fur life.
I!roney is not necessary to procure
education ; every man has it in his
•er. Ile has merely to use the. lan
ige. which he reads, instead uf.the
t):.; which he hears ; to form his taste
le the best speakers and poets of the
utry ; to treasure up choice ptirase
.he memory, and habituate himself to
'r use—avoiding, at the same time,
pedantic preeigion and bombast
,ch show rather the weakness of a
o ambition than the polish of an
,ed
',A mind.
A SNO' BANK IN JIILY.—A snow drift
Skinner Hollow. Manchester, Vt.,
week, located within one hundred
of where ripe strawberries were
measured 12 feet in depth and
•ered one fourth of an acre. It has
n forty feet in depth.
.at - What fruit does a newly-married
couple mostly resemble ? A green pair,
nju Ilciumbuia accruntat: Pciroicb. f Nittraturt, Agriculture, lions of tljt glag, 1 1 :atrtiligcntt, tVc.
Another Tax-Bill Proposed.
The Old Knickerbocker Magazine
furnishes the following items, which
may be added to the new tax bill, if a
supplement is furnished :
Tax on moustaches, $2 per month.
On whiskers, other than those belong:-
ing to cats and clog, ea per month.
To sneeze in the public highway, 15
cents.
If accompanied with unusal noise, 25
cents.
N. B. But we under stand a deduction
of 5 per cent is (gado in favor of New
England during the prevailence of an
East wind.
One square (12
For every button on coat, 3 cent.
For carrying a cane, $l,
For using Expressly prepared l'ucilage
25 cents per pot.
Pencils and pens, $1 per annum.
On all keys in use, 6 cents.
For kissing any body except relation
25 cents each time. [N. B. Engaged
couples "commute" for Sl9 per month. ]
For ringing door bells crushing knock
ers, 15 cent.
For using, scralier or door mat before
a door, 1 cent.
For not using scraper or door mat $l.
For looking at a lady anywhere, $lO.
For shaking hands with ladies, 10
cents.
For squeezing said hands, $l.
For not squeezing said hands when
"circumstances favor," $lO.
For quoting French, 25 cents.
For saying "in our midst," or "pen
ding," or "reliable," "donate," or pro
ven," $l.
For writing one's name as Marie, Pol
lie, Sallie, Maggie, or Judie, $l.
For joining the Curb Stone Christian
Association, and waiting at the to "see
the ladies collie out," $lO.
For "chor'ing spruce gun.," 1 cent.
For keeping the register of "whose.
engaged," $1 per name.
For noticing with whom any body
walks with whom they go, &c., for each
indulgence, $5O.
For recording any thing, not strictly
your own business, $5O.
For responding. in church like rt
blatant wild bull, $2OO.
For talking iu the opera, $lO.
For calling for encore, $2OO.
For asking friends to take tickets to
any thing, $lOO.
For reading your own literary compo
sitions to any one, $l.
For doing same to editor or offering
to do it, $lOOO.
For borrowing any thing, 5 1.
For staying later than 11 P. M. when.
calling, $5 per hour.
For the boorish carelessness of calling
at office or other place, and not leaving
your name, $lO.
For using any hackneyed quotation,
25 cents.
For always mentioning in connection
with a name that ho or she is "very rich,' ,
or "poor as job," $l.
For poiating out a millionaro, 25
Cell LS.
For talking of your appetite, or dis-
eases, or discribing what you like to eat
and drink, or when you change' your
flannels, $l.
A friend of our elbow :,readir_ig . the
above suggests the following additions ,
which we endorse :—Mariettian.
Girls that pudker their lips when
about to be kissed 5 cents ; those who do
not V.
SEVERE BUT JUET,—Capt. Depugh, of
the Second Tennessee regiment, has
been disgraced, by order of Gen. Buell,
for receiving money from soldiers to se
cure them " discharge papers." The in
signia of his rank and button's of his coat
were stripped from him by a private sol
dier in front of the regithent, after which
he was marched under a guard, to the
tune of Rogue's March, to the Provost
Barracks, and handed over to the civil
authorities to answer for a violation. of
the laws of the State of Tennessee in
obtaining money under false pretences.
er The Philadelphia Press says : A
citizen of this city, who we know to be
reliable, offers to be, one of a hundred
gentlemen to contribute a thousand dol
lars each towards equipping the first ten
regiments that may be raised in this
city under the new calla This is a no
ble and generous offer. Who among
our wealthy thousands will be the first
to second it? -
Car An honest Hibernian; upon read,-
ing his physician's bill, replied that he
had no objection to pay him for his
medicine, but his visits he would return.
igir Almost every young lady is pub
lie-spirited enough to be willing to. have
her fathers house used as a court-house.
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•
MARIETTA, PA., SAT
Value of a Parrot's Leg
-The caprice of fortune toward those
who court her, and the humiliation she
sometimes imposes as conditions of suc
cess, are rather oddly illustrated in the
following history, which an old English
physician gave recently, of his personal
experience, "tong time ago :"—"I had
completed my studies, and taken my
diploma, when I found myself in the
great sea of London, with twenty odd
pounds in my pocket. I took the low
er part of a small house in an obscure
street, at the back of some gorgeous
square and liad out ten poilnds in furni
ture, fixtures and drugs, reserving the
other ten to pay my half-year's rent.
The first week I sold- a few pennies'
worth of rhubarb and magnesia and
lived on bread and milk. The next
week was no better—nor the next—and
as the month was coming to a close, I
was determined to shut up shop and go
as an assistant, when a servant came, in
for a shilling's worth of the best mag
nesia, and some smelling-salts, and took
my card. Next day he called again,
and bought some powdered starch;and
had a bit of a talk with me. I had just
cleaned my place and self when in came
in a hurry, my new friend the livery
servant. lie said mistress wished to
see me as soon as - Possible, on some
thing very pressing. I asked him if I
must go as I was. "Put on your Sinsday
coat,' said he, 'and go with me." I went
with him to a • great house in Ports
mouth square, and was shown up stairs
into a splendid drawing-room. A mid
dle aged lady, of much suavity and
graciousness, soon entered, and apolo
gized to me, but hoped, from what her
servant' said of me, I should not be
offended. I thought she little knew
my feelings, to imagine I should be
offended at being sent for, and assu
red her' I was most happy to render her
any service in my power. She told me
she had a favorite parrot that had bro
ken its leg, and she had asked the doc
tor who attended her to help to set it,
and. he had felt himself insulted at be
ing called E. birdsdoctor. She said she
had no intention to insult him, and only
wished for information as what to do.
She told me if I would set her bird's
leg, and charge her the same as'for set
ting her own, were it broken, she would
be most happy to employ me. I thought
the terms she proposed too liberal, but
She insisted on no less, and I consented.
Some slips of whalebone and a little
tape enabled us to set the creature's leg
and I attended my first patient with an
dassiuty and carefulness which I have
not since surpassed. A fortnight's ser
vices were rendered, and my , patient,
restored. The lady now insisted on my
making out my bill against her. I did
so, arid charged her what she had bid me
—the usual sum for setting such a lady's
leg. I trembled when I gave it to her.
It was ten guineas. She thanked me,
and presented me with twenty—saying
that the other ten were for my modesty,
civility and kindness. She then re
marked, that she had an opportunity of
making my acquaintance and esteeming
my abilites, and, if agreeable to me, she
would engage me as her family physician
for her former doctor had had many
hundred pounds from bee, and might
have shown a little kindness to her bird,
but as he had made his fortune, be could
do Without her patronage, and preferred
to give it where it was appreciated, and
was serviceable. I blushed, and unhes
itatingly informed her that my residence
and position were net equal to tho sta
tion she was going to put me in. She
told me all that would be bettered, and
she saW I was deserving of it. She
bade me look out for a better residence
and promised she would help me to the
necessary furniture and fittings. She
told . me the amount for medical atten
dance on herself and her household was
never less than eighty or — a hundred
pounds a year, .and that she could se
cure-several families. • I took a house—
she did all that she promised and laid
the sure foundation for my future pros
pects. She was my constant friend
until she died, and left me something
handsoine in her will. I have 'retired
from business, and my fortune all arose
from setting that poor parrot's leg."
•
How BEAUTIFUL. Romance and war.—
There are two bombshells surroonnt
ing the pillars at tht grand, entrance
to the Executive mansion at Washing
ton. In one of these is a wren's nest.
the entrance to which is though the fuse
hole. ..A notice of the fact says :--"thus
love has entered with her mysteries. the
death 'chamber, and from that gloomy
tenement shall issue flutterinff life and
• • -
song.
'
T • Llfe of William Shakespeare
DAY, AUGUST 9, 1862.
William Bhaltespeare, a dramatist of
considerable repute was born on a—
"Twelfth Night", "mid the ragging of
"Tempest," in the small "Hamlet" of
"Coriolanus," during the "First Part of
King Henry IV.'s" reign.
Of the earlier period of his youth
nothing wha,tever is known, until in the
"Second Part of King. Henry IV.'s"
reign, where, in Company with "Two
Gentlemen of Verona," he appears to
have journeyed eastward, where -he lo
cated himself as a ".Mercharit of Venice,"
and there became famous for giving
"Measure for Measure." Whilst at this
place, in the reign of "King Henry V.''
he became acquainted with "Antony and
Cleopatra," who where betrothed to each
herot ;" unmindful of this, he successfully
made advances to the maiden ; but his
"Midsummer Night's Dream" was rudely
dispelled, and his •"Love's Labor Lost,"
by the lady's ultimately deserting both
suitors, and eloping with " Pericles
Prince of Tyre."
Yielding himself up to the anguish of
nnrequitted` love, by again wandered
forth, accompanied by a dissolute and
crack-pated vagabond, one "Simon of
Athens," when, soon after, they became
involved in an intrigue with "The Merry
Wives of Windsor." This was during
the "First Part of King Henry - V . l.'s"
reign. It hdving come to the knowledge
of two of the ladies' husbands "Juli
us ember" and "Cymbaline"—they in
duced two of their friends, "Troilus"
and "Cressidy" to personate their wives
at an appointed trysting-place, when
Shakespeare was suddently set upon by
the servants, armed with staves, and the
poet barely escaped with life, attended
only by his faithful slave, "Othello, the
Moor of Venice."
Tis a•" Winters Tale," that whilst thus
escaping, he entangled himself in a
"Comedy of Errors," which came well
nigh ending his eventful career. It
seems that, mistaking one " Titus An
dronicos for King Richard II.," he made
to him certain overtures concerning the
political welfare of the future 'King
Richard 111.,' for which he was appre
hended before 'King Lear,' who upon
beholding him, unhesitatingly declared
him to be his long-lost son, 'Macbeth.'
To this misconception of identity Shake
speare readily assented, and, for a white
successfully carried on the dissemblance
until, finally unmasked by 'King John.,
Once again he was forced to save his
life by fight.
Of his history during the reign of the
"Second Part of King Henry V 1.," and
that of the 'Third Part of King Henry
Vl.,' no research has yet been able to
discover.
He next turns up in his native town
where becoming acquainted with - two
lovers 'Romeo and Juliet,' he again suc
cessfully declared a passion. For this,
the enraged and infuriated lover chal
lenged him to single combat, to which
Shakespeare is said to have responded
thus : "As You Like It;" but: it seems
to me you.. make " Much Ado About
Nothing." Tho forlorn lover never
appears to have put his threat into exe
cution,, and Shakespeare married the
maid.
From thenceforth, his chief occupa
tion appeared to have bean that of the
"Taming of the. Shrew," when he had
accomplished it, at the close of a long
and adventurous life he is said to have
philosophically remarked as follows :
"All's WE - that Ends Well.'
lie died during the reign of "Kin
Henry
TILE ART OF PRlNTlNG.—Ajubilee will'
soantake place in Vienna in honor of
the four hundred years' existence of the
art of printing in that city. The first
Vienna printer, Ulrich Hann,opened his
printing ord .- coin 1432, did not succeed,
and emigrated — to _Rome. - Ile was the
cause of the Emperor Frederick the
Fourth bestowing a privilege on the
printers, in the year 1468, which placed
them in eqtral rank with noblemen and
scholars, and permitted them to wear a
sword.
Or Two little 'boys sat listening ea
gerly while their grandmother was tell
ing them The Bible story of Elijah going
to Heaven - in a whirlwind, with a chari
ot of fire, when little Willie, interrupted
her with—" 0, Sammy,; wouldn't you
have been afraid 2" SaMmy hesitated a
moment and then replied : "No, not if
I ha - it:the Lofd to driye."
at What is that workof one syllable
Which, if the first two letters are taken
from it beenmes a word of two syllables ?
- Plague; --- • -
April 11,
Growth of Nails and Hair in Ken.
The following interesting observation
have been made by Berthold. of Got
tingen. Re found that nails which
were cut off, re-formed quicker in chil
dren than adults, and in these than in
old people ; that they formed- quicker in
summer than in winter, (a nail which in
summer would be repaired in 116 days
iu winter is repaired in 152); that the
nails on the right hand re-formed ,quiek
er thau those of the left hand ; that the
nails of different_fingers reformed in
different times ; on both hands, the nails
of the middle finger was more quickly
reformed then those of the ring and
index fingers, which were nearly equal;
the nails of the thumb and little finger
took a much longer time, and the little
finger rather the longest, particularly on
the left hand. As regards the hair,
Berthold found, that in persons from 1G
to 24 years old, whose hair had been cut
for fever, etc; the length -had reached
in two years, from 12 to 16 inches, giv
ing an average of seven lines per month.
By cutting off the hairs of the beard
(wetted with rain-water only) with a very
sharp knife, every 12, 24 or 36 hours
measuring them with the:micrometer
and weighing them, Ilerthold arrived at
the following results:-1. The growth
is increased the oftener the hair is cut ;
thus, the beard cut every 12 hours, it
grows at the rate of from 5 1-2 to 12
inches a year; cut every 24.houre, it
grows at the rate of from s"to 7 1-2 in
ches per year ; cut every 36 hours, it
grows at the rate of from 4 to G 3-4 inches
per year. The weights correspond with
these measurements : cut every 12 hours
the yearly weight of - the experimenter's
heard would be 313 grains; cut every 24
hours, it would be only 280 grains. 2.
Tho hair grows more quickly during the
day than, at night, and this rule seems
quite invariable. About 1 1-6th more
seems to be formed during tlie day." 3.
The growth is quicker in warm weather
than in cold; but this rule is less con
stant on account of the variability of
the weather.
HOME-SICKNESS INSANITP.-Dr. Hunt,
of Buffalo, now stationed at Newport
News, Virginia, gives the following lir
stance of that form of home sickness
which becomes insanity. In a letter he
narrates an effecting and painfully
touching case, thus :
You have learned, perhaps, of that
camp home sickness which develops it
self into insanity, and is written down in
the books as nostalgia. It is a singular
and painfully .interesting phenomenon.
Ono of them only has been, fully devel
oped under my eyes; The man came
here almost entirely recovered from fe
ver and claimed himself to be entirely
well, refusing medicines and talking very
rationally about everythingbut home.—
Day after day, as the boat came - to thb
dock, he would pack his knapsack quiet
ly, say good-bye to his ward-mates, and
march down to the wharf only to be
disappointed and to tied out, as he more
forcibly than elegantly expressed it, that
"it was_not the right boat ; it was an
other d—d boat." At night, in his
sleep, he talked continuously,of wife and
child ; day-times ho said little ; but, fi
nally, made a confidant of rue, and said
that all night and all day he dreamed
and thought of home, and"sometimes,
perhaps, it made him light headed. He
bad been a year in the service, and al
ways gay and happy up to the period of
his recent illness. His family lives in
N:N7 York, and one morning I bad the
-i - appiness to see Charley march down to
the boat with his neatly slung knapsack,
and it was the right boat that time. Ho
has been home a fortnight now, and I
have no doubt will return to his regi
ment a good soldier. To have kept him
here would have ended, probably, in
suicide.
Cr At the great Exhibition, as a spe
cimen of fine type and printing, there
is a copy of the entire New Testanient
printed upon a single sheet of paper.—
It was printed by Collins, of Orlasg,ow,
the celebrated publisher of raro books
and beautiful editions of the: classiest=
Although so small the type is stated to
be very clear. • '
65- The surrender of -Norfolk was
rather a sheepish affair : Mayor lamb
surrendered to General Wool, and the
ram M.orrlinac was blown up.
10 - that a lightning bug in the
street?" asked'a very short-sighted old
lady. " No, mamma," said a pert" little
miss, !`it's a big bug with a cigar."
cir The rebel soldiers are driven into
the field with the bayonet, and we must
drive them out with the same weapon
NO. 2.
What Prentice Says.
Mr..Coddington said in his speech at
the great Union gathering in N , ,ra York
city on Tuesday that the South is a
full-breasted spinster whose figrro do
pends upon cotton, and when her Lasto.r , l
child, secession poor infant ! was
born, it rooted in vain around its mo
ther's breast, and is now almost dead for
the want of nourishment.
John Morgan is to Kentncky what a
mosquito is to a man in bed, alighting,
and puncturing the skin and then buzz
ing off again. to escape the expected
blow. We hope to bar his game soon.
The rebel Confederacy is struggling
against fate. It is like the king-fisher,
which, it is said, always flies against the
wind, and if hung up when dead; turns
its bill to the wind even then.
' Young ladies, we would bare you
scorn to marry men, who, without imper
ative cause, stay at home in this war.—
better remain single than risk becoming
mothers of a race of cowards.
The rebels, when they evacuatedNash
yille, left a large quanity•of grapeshot
behind them. The federal troops are
anxiously waiting for a chance to return
it to them.
If we find the masses as ready and
willing to pay to taxes as they are to be
appointed tax-collectors, the Govern
ment Will get the sinews of war without
trouble.
One might think that the rebels would
be very willing to fight. If they are
killed, they go where there are even
more rebels than they leave behind
them.
We have no hyenas or tigers in this
State and but few rattlesnakes and cop
per heads, bat we have a great many re
bel women, these may do harm if not
caged.
We have all heard of the Morgan
horse, and the notorious guerilla chief,
from his propensity to steal horses,
might properly be called Horse Morgan.
JefiDavis' children are wisely eating
married as fas.as they can. They knorr
they will not be able to make eligible
matches . after their father shall be hung.
The new tax upon whisky is three
cents per gallon. Some people think it
oppresive to impose such burdens upon
the necessaries of life,
Morgan exhorts his "fellow-country
men" to "fight for their consciences." A
conquest his scoundrels are most des
perately in need of.
Our brave soldiers don't want niggors
fighting by their sides in this hot weath
er. It is had enough for them to hare
to smell gun-powder.
General Beanregard, according to re
ports, is in half a dozen different places
at the same time. He would seem to
have been very much cut up.
The editor of tho Atlanta Confeder
acy says that he could "a tale unfold."
We suppose then he is a pig with a
kink in his tail.
Gen Butler's woman-order, however
indecent itself, has corrected a great
-deal of indecency on the part of the [7O
men
Let Great Britain intervene if she
dares, and she will find that a cotton
famine is nothing to a bread-famine.
Those who grve nothing beyond their
taxes to sustain the arms of the Union
are only patriotsiDy compulsion.
If a rebel wont behave himgelf, if he
has a, devil that can't be cast out of him,
imprison him, devil and all.
Our rebel women wouldn't liko to be
fined for their treason, fond as they gen
efally are of finery.
The Editor of the Georgia R.pcortle r
boasts that he has ten children. Ono
fool makes many.
Abe Lincoln & Co. are tho powera
that be. Jeff'Davis Co. are the p6W
era that want to be.
If Beauregard dosa't like to redeem
his pledge to water his horse in hell, shy
not, take him to Hot Springs ? _
It is said that Gen. Price is going to
Virginia. A nice fellow to bo upon
"the sacred soil."
=I
In Alabama the rebel cause is "as good
as wheat," but the wheat is awfully smut
.
ty. , _
. If a man shows that he cannot kej
hound by an oath, let him be bound with
chains and fetters.
They who get drunk on treason may
be expected to "vomit crime."