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Marriages and Deaths, the simple announcement, FREE; but for any additional lines, five cents a-line. square 3 months, $2.00; 6 months, $3.50; 1 year, $5. Two squares, 3 months, $3 4 months, 85. ' 1 year, $7. Half-a-column 3 months, $8; 6 months, $l2; 1 year, $2Ol One column, 6 months, $2O; 1 year, $3O. Having recently added a large lot of new Jon AND CARD TYPE, we are prepared to do all kinds of PLAIN AND FANCY Pi:Ft:TIN% Such as Large Posters, with Outs, Sale Bills of all kinds, Bait Tickets, Circuiars, Curds, Programmes, 4 . c., src. Everything in the Job Printing line will be done with neatness and dispatch. and at the lowest possible rates. GRAPE SKINS. If :saw a man of portly estate Walking the street with a regal gait; Jos.t the man the - the eye will suit, and nice from hat to boots. tWerfect his coat, so neat his vest, An exquisite taste was manifest; And every one who chose to scan Could only say—" What a tasty man !" Alas for the glory of human pride, As frail and fickle as the tide! For the polish of blacking, and brush and o One little spatter of mud may spoil. E'en as he walked the pave along, With head exalted and footstep strong, tie trod on a grape skin in his. way, And a mutt disgraced in the dirt he lay ! This moral 11 drew from what I saw: There are men in the world without a flaw, Who are in such robes of sanctity found, And suck rare manes engirt them . round, That we /nimble ourselves as we pass them by With reverent and admiring eye, Saying, while viewing such merits rare ; " Bless us, what good men they are nut, alas for the glow of human pride, As (mil and fickle es the tide! In the world of men they exalt their horn, Aa though of a better clay they were born. llut there in their path the grape skins wait Temptations hidden perhaps till late— One step of the foot—one curvetting lurch, And down they come from their eminent perch In dress or morals. 'tis much the same ; And happy is he who wins his fume, If he die at US zenith, nor has to wait Till he slip and fall through invidious fate. Ile tnay dodge the rock and shy the cloud That threat kis step and bearing proud. But Mt him not crow till danger's past— by a grape skin be overcast. INV FOR AIAriIEMATIC/AXS.-- "Fa. ther," said a young hopeful the other day, "how many fowls are there on this table ?" "Why," said the old gentle man, as he looked complacently on a pair of nicely roasted chickens that were smoaking on the table, "There are two." "Two ?" replied the smart boy, "there are three, sir, and l'll prove it." "Three!" neplied the old gentleman, who was a . plain matter-of-fact man, "I'd like to see you prove it." "Easily done, easily done. Is not that one r said the smart boy, laying his knife on the first; ''and that two?" pointing to the second ; "and do not one and two make three ?"--- "Realy," said the father, turning to his wife, who was stapified at the immense learning of her son, "really this boy is a genius, and deserves to be incouraged ;" and then, to show that there's fun in old folks as well as young ones, he added, "Wife, do you take one fowl and I'll take the second, and John may have the third for his learning," — sr The tong contest as to which of the two great States of Pennsylvania and New York has contributed the largest force to the army of the Union has at last been decided by the govern ors of these States respectively. Ac cording to Governor Morgan's last message, there are now is the field, from the. State of New York, 89,034 soldiers, and if there be added to this the volun teers now in the State itself, an avail able force of 103,307 is shown. Accord ing to the last message of Governor Curtin, there are now in the field from the State of Pennsylvania, 93,577 men, And if there be added to this force the feivotAers now in the State of Fenn- MlT** ea Available force of 109,615 Fien IS above, This is a highly grati h'ing fact. Whexi we consider that the population of p',etiesylvauia is one mil lion smaller than that of the Empire Atate. ar d Country Clergyman., opposed ,to the use of the violin in church-sergitea, wits overruled by his congregation, who odetermined upon having one. On the following Sunday, the parson commene- Ad the service by exclaiming, in long 4rawn scoente, "You may and p•i-n-g the fortieth psalm. A Fellow advertised in Boston, that for four shillings remitted, he would send beantifujly engraved portraits of George Washington and Benjamin Franklin. A noodle sent on the Pekes's.," awl received by return mail it three an 4 * one cent postag* stamp ( F_ L_ Saber, Proprietor_ VOL. 8. How Peter Funk does Business. "Burleigh," the New York corres pondent of the Boston Journal, writes the following leaf in the history of Peter Funk and his doings : Some time since a rural Colonel from the West came to New York to make a speech. He was met the next day by a gentleman who .called him by name— knew him well—was charmed with the fever of his Western eloquence—with the force of his oratory, with his un faltering patriotism ; to all which the Western orator .bowed in the lowest humility, avowed his sense of unwcirthi nese, and his inability to enlighten a New York audience ; but expressed a warm appreciation of the manner in which the people listened to his poor remarks. A. fellow feeling was at once created, and confidence, that plant of slow growth, seemed to come forth as by a miracle. The pair reached a store in Broadway, the ownership of which the new acquaintance of the Colonel avow ed. It just pdpped into the mind of the Colonel that he had a lovely daughter at home, fair as a prarie rosebud, which soon was to bloom in a conservatory of a waiting swain, who held in his im patience to make the fair flower his own till the Colonel should come home from New York. Now the daughter needed a gold watch, and he proposed to buy one. The new friend or the Colonel allowed that he kept watches in his establishment, but had none that were worthy the attention of the distinguish ed gentleman and his fair daughter.— Ile had some, it was true, but as they could be sold for the paltry sum of $125 to $3OO, it was not worth while to look at them. And, moreover, the city of Ne..w York was a bad place fur stranger; men got cheated every day, and he would do well to look sharp at all men who wanted to sell him anything, and be espe . cially careful of the company he got into. For all this he was profoundly grateful, and persisted in going into the store and taking a look at the jewelry, as he knew a thing or two, and the man would rise up early in the morning who got the better of him. Now let me say to the reader that this friend of the Colonel was one of the sharpest Peter Funks iu New York, and his store the head-quarters of mock auctions. So in the man went. An elegant watch was shown the Col., one of great value, worth $l3O, and cheap at that. So a bargain was struck, and had the Colonel gone on his way all would have been well. But at this moment two men came in—one a custo mer and one a "down town" jeweller.— The jeweller opened the business. His friend, he said, was about to buy a watch for $2OO, and like a wise man as he was he would not purchase until some one that knew all about watches had passed judgment on it. So the watch was handed out, examined and found to be all right. A new thought came over the Colonel. He would have his pur chase examined. He would—and when the back of the, seller .was turned, he said in a wisper, don't take it. But the money had "been paid. The jeweller knew how to teenage that. The whole stock was examined, only one found that would suit. That hung , by itself on a black velvet case. That could not be had. It had been sold to a man who was to " call for it at two, precisely." It was a watch of rare value,' and could , not be had at all, and if it could it was invoiced at $2OO. But that particular watch the Colonel resolved t'o have. The parties all waited till the City Hall alarm bell rung out ,the hour of two, when the Colonel demanded the watch. The jeweller seconded the call. The seller was in doubt; his conscience was tender; he wanted to do the fair thing; but concluded to hand the watch over, and the additional $5O was paid. The watch was hardly in the pocket of the buyer, before panting with heat and haste, the man for whom the watch was kept, came running in—he had been detained by the omnibus—•and demanded his watch. West was his indignation when be found it was too late. The watch wail his ; he would have it ; it was two till it was three ; would give five dollars, ten, fifteen. But the Col. would not yield; he did not trade in watches; he had bought one, it suited him, and $5O was no object. A quarrel followed; glass was broke ; noses bled ; the Tombs loomed up before the Col., and to keep the watch and make all, square, $5.0 more was paid; and he de parted. 111. trutt 4rt vn 46ciudent c ( ptuns ll lbaitia lomat for It lainik girth. MARIETTA, JANUARY 25. 1862. Of course the reader knows that the jeweller and his friend, and the panting man running in too late to carry off his watch were all bogus, and parts of the establishment to carry on the. Peter Funk business. On arriving at his hotel the $2OO watch was found to be brass. The Police were called in, but the jeweller and the store . was closed. Eln could get no relief. He concluded to shake the dust of Gotham off his feet and go home. In a frame of mind not exactly Christian he took his seat in• the car—left in a moment to go out ; came back, found' an occupant in his seat, ordered the interloper . out; as the cars were crowded the new corner could not see it. Viewing all men as conspira tors, he took the law iu his own hands— gave the intruder a beating, was arrested and locked up in the Tombs, and left for home, after paying in all $l,OOO, with the fixed resolution that when the party needed a speaker, he should not come out to New York to make the oration. No FRONT TERTEL—A musician re cently undertook to trade cows with a certain neighbor H—, but after some bantering .11—told the man that his " old cow was not worth a song," .she was so old that she had no teeth in her upper jaw, and could not therefore eat young grass. Singing friend laughed, looked wise, and went off whistling.— But the remark of H—preyed upon his mind, and he accordingly went aad,ex amined old brindle's mouth, and to his horror and snprise he found that she was entirely destitute of upper teeth ! Infuriated, he drove old brindle two miles to the house of the man he had bought her of, through a driving rain storm, with mud up to his knees, and after berating the surprised man for selling him such a cow, demanded his money back at once. .A,s soon as he could get in a word edgewise, the farmer told the angry man that cows never wore such teeth on the upper jaw, and to convince him, took him out to the barn yard, when after examining the mouths of a dozen or 'so cattle,young and old, the singing man drove old brindle into the road and trudged home behind her, a sadder and a wiser matt. A M ELANCHOLY ACCIDENT.—On Tues day morning, the 13th inst., two little boys, named Lowe and M'Nary, hitched up a Newfoundland dog in a sled, and went to take a ride upon the Scioto river, near Columbus, Ohio, The ice unfortunately broke, and both the little fellows went under. When the boys fell in, the dog made most frantic efforts to save them. In the struggle he tore himself loose from his toy harness, and went crushing a perfect channel through the ice to reach the bodies of his little masters. Efforts were made to resusci tate, but all availed nothing. The boys, both of them bright, and beautiful child ren, were gone. It is a most distressing accident, that smites the parental hearts of two most estimable families •with unutterable grief. EMIT CHILDREN AT A BIRTII.7—On the 2d of August, Mrs. Timothy Bradlee, of Trumbull county, Ohio, gave birth to eight children—three boys and five girls, They are all living, and are healthy, but are quite small. Bradlee's family is increasing fast. He was married six years ago to Eunice Mowery, who weighed 273 pounds on the day of her marriage. She has given birth to two pairs of twins ; and now eight more, making twelve children in six years.— It seems strange, but nevertheless is true, Mrs. Bradlee was a twin of three, her mother and father both being twins, and her grandmother the mother of five pairs of twins. Mrs. Bradlee has nam ed her boys after noted and distinguish ed men ; one after the Hon. J. R. Gid dings, Who has given her a splendid gold medal ; one after the Rev. Hon. Elijah Chacplain, who gave her a deed of fifty acres of land, and the other after James Johnson, who gave her a cow.— Letter in N. Y. Tribune. Cr Oliver Wendell Holmes calls a kiss a limpid consonant. He should have added that it usually follows a vo/ca/, however consonant it may be to the feelings. a- Prentice pays, "Charleston was shut in with a darn of stone, and the next day she was nearly burned up..— Like a dead sinner, she was first danald and then, consigned to the flames." Ter - rY)—C>n_e 3Dllar a '"Y"ear.. .A Ikea NEW Yeari's Gls-r.—lt is stated; by those who. know, 'that among the papers taken in the house of that adroit and fearless rebel, Mrs. Rose O. H. Greenhow, are .a number of most interesting and piquant epistols • from distinguished individuals. Mrs. Green how is the widowof the *ell-known ex plorer, Robert W. Greenhow, who re sided in this city for a long time, and afterwards removed to California, where he died. She returned to WaShington subsequent to his death, arid was engag edin prosecuting certain claims in which her husband was interested; alternately appealing to Congress and the United States Supreme Court. A handsome person, pleasing address, good •education and great conversational powers, gave her considerable influence in certain circles here and elsewhere, and, as she was strongly' pro-slaVery, made her a special favorite of the Southern states men, and of all those who sympathized with them. Thus, she not Only attended to• her own affairs, but took charge of the affairs of others. Mrs. Greenhow was much more popular With the gentle• men than with the ladies. Her residence was the resort of those now in arms against the Government, arid if 'their tender missives to this fashionable and dashing intriguante ever see the light of day, some • amusing re sults will ensue. I give it as a mere rumor, that among her correspondents the Venerable and virtuous ex-President, of the United States, James Buchanan, and the equally virtuous, but not quite so venerable, President of the so-called Southern Confederacy, Jefferson Davis. I have not seen their letters, which are supposed to be under the lock and key of the Secretary of War,'but it is sug gested that these two apostles of Seces sion more than once prove that theiwere not insensible to the great influence of Mrs. G. Messrs. Breckinridge and Joe. Lane, are also said to figure in this interchange.of opinions, and the polish ed and graceful Yancy adds some of his choicest contributions to the collection. General Cameron, however, is so pru dent and that in regard to these letters, that I presume,.they will never be permitted to see the vulgar light' of day.--Washington Correspondent of For ney's Press. PRESSED VEGETABLES.-A soldier writ. ing from the Potomac about the "food," says : 'fWe get a substance for soup called 'pressed, vegetables.' It looks a goud deal like a big plug ,of 'dog leg' tobacco in shape and solidity, and is composed in part of potatoes, onions, beaus, garlic, parsley, parsnips, carrots, &c. I acknowledge eating two China tin plates full without any convulsions of nature, and can now speak the Ger man language with fluency." ttr Big Bethel, and all the country between that and Newport New's bas been deserted by the rebels. • A recon- noiteriug party of 700 . frinn Newport News, penetrated to the fortifications on Friday last, and found, the place de serted, though apparently occupied re cently by some 3000 or. 4000 troops in cluding 200 or 300 cavalry. It is sup posed that they had gone to Yorktown to assist in defending the place against a Union attack which was daily expect ed. Cr We are glad to, hear that the Secretary of State has decided to issue no more passes to ladies to and from Washington. It has been ascertained that in nearly every instance where these favors have been granted to wo men, letters and other. documents have been concealed in their clothes, convey ing important information to the rebels. In future, the crinolines who even ap ply for passes will be searched ; but it will 'be' futile to make such search, unless it be particularly thorough.— Their means of concealment are many. Ur A Great, Fuss has been . made a bout "Dollar 'jewelry," but if you want to make a really cheap preient to your sweetheart, give'her a dime and pin: Cr Let any, lady paint who. chooses. If she raises a hue on her cheek, that's no, reason you should raise, a hue and cry: ar Stupid People may eat, but shouldn't talk. Their mouths will do well enough as banks of deposit, but not of issue. gar A man that has no virtue in him self envies it in others.--Bacon. NO. 26. A ROMANCE . OF REAL LIFE.-.—A _letter from Rome gives an account of a re markable suicide which has taken place at Naples. A Mr. = Kenrick, an elderly gentleman, appears to have been inti mate with a Miss Gray, a young and pretty, Englishwoman, with whom he, has been living at Rome and at Naples. It appears that Mr. Kenrick's relatives in England, who are 'wealthy, paid no heed, Under the circumstances, to his applications for remittances, and that. the two thereupon resolved on suicide. From what Subsequently transPired, it seems they must have gone directly to the Public gardens of the Villa Reale, on the sea-shore, where .the cafe being open, they took a glass of or rosolio. They then clinied over the low wall, of the villa where a semic - irc — ular space overlooking the sea is furnished with stone seats, and descended on the beach where MiSs Gray tied her dress round her ankles, and filled it from the waist with sand, Mr. lienrick effecting the same purpose by filling, the besoni of his shirt, his waistcoat, and coat-sleeves with sand and stones, Miss Gray supply log the necessary strings and tapes, from her own dress. They, then tied them selves together round the waist with, their pocket-handkerchiefs, and deliber ately lay down to die in the sea, which at that point is not more than two or three feet deep. They had the resolu tion to endure suffocation, and their corps were, seen in the transparent water next morning at daybreak by a fish erman. Mr. Kenrick's life was insured for £3OOO, which his heirs lose from the fact of his having committed suicide. FUNERAL OP A CENTENARIAN.—On Fri day afternoon the 3d inst., the funeral of Michael Commins took - place from his late 'residence, Tenth street, Phila delphia. It was •attended by a large number of the descendants of the de ceased, to the fourth' generation. Mr. Commins was born in Wexford, Ireland, in the year 1757, and had attained vig areas manhood at' the time of the Dec laration of American Independence:— he was over forty years of - age 'at the time of the Irish Rebellion in 1798, in which he took an active part. He has always been gifted with excellent health, and at the time of his death had a sten torian voice. His wife is at present• living, having attained the' ripe age• of one hundred and three years: The couple were married eighty -two years ago. The old lady still attends church. MR. RAREY IN SPAIN.-Mr. Rarey, the horse tamer has arrived, at Madrid. A letter from the Spanish capital. says.; "Mr., Rarey" strange to say, does not ap pear to have roused the curiosity of the Caballeros, who, possibly consider their knowledge of horse-flesh ,already superi or to that of all others. However, he did perform before her : Majesty Isabella and her Royal Consort, if report speaks truly, in white kid gloves and a dress coat, and having successfully calmed the fiery temperaments of two half wild Andalusian colts, received a donation of if,200, which must have sent him on his way with a full parse and a light heart. Moreover 'tis said he has chal lenged the lovers of the bull ring to sub 'due, without the aid of matader weapon or Toledo blade, the wildest bull they can produce." • of The Union Fire-arms Company, 'of New York city, whose principal armory will be at Newark, N. J., are to execute contracts for the n3anUfacture of 90,000 stands of small arms, embrac ing- 25;000 'of Marsh's breech and min ale-loading rifles, and 65,000 Springfield rifle muskets. The company, organized under the laws of New York, with a 'capital of $400,000, will give employ ment - to several thousand mechanics, among whom will be many of the loyal citizens 'of Harper's Ferry, who were 'thrown out of work by the destruction of the national workshops. for. The- best sometimes err, yet still remain the best ; while the worst do well at times, yet still, remain the worst. ar He that is good will becoine bet ter,- and he that is bad, worse ,; for virtue, vice, and time, never stop. Thwsight of a drunkard is a.-bet. ter sermon against that vice,- than the. best that ever was preached upon that subject, tifir A smile may be bright while the heart is sad. The rainbow is beautiful in the air While - beneath is the moaning of the sea. Row to Lean on a Gentleman's Arm. A short essay might be written on this subject, as one sees it practiced on the evening and moonlight promenades. Without knowing a single person, it is possible to determine the enact degree of relationship which they sustain by this simple and involuntary indication. There is the comfortable lock 'matrimo nial, allowed only to stout, respectable fathers and mothers of grown.up sons and daughters—and the lounge confi dential indulged in by cousins, and sometimes, when there is mischief afoot, and they aro sot fighting, by affection ate brothers and sisters. Then there is the gentle pressure of trust from a you,g wife, and the daring pressure shameless of a married flirt. The light' "foie ett young girl upon a strange coat sleeve, and the tender fold of a lover and his pretty fiancee. A hundred other meth ods might be enumerated, especially if one could follow them out , of the glare of the gaslight and into the shadow of the walks and avenues but -the most disagreeable of all is the formerly fash ionable juxtaposition, ~of shoulder .to. shoulder, the gentleman's arm held at au angle, to support the elbow of the young lady. This close and confiden tial style is still affected by some very. loud talking and showy yormg,,ladies, but whether gentlemenlenerally admire it or not in young women, tis a doubtful question. . • GEN. MCCLELLA.I7'S STRATEGY.: The Now York Post says, that the followieg extract flora a letter reegiyed ip,that city by a prcominont citizo, comes from a responsible source•: , , IVAstirsczox, 4 - armary, * The night of the rebellion > has passeclotpd the dawn is about ,brealting, Before the present month has gone, these things will surely come to pass :,Gen..lialleck, with the great flotilla, and an army of. one hundred thousand stpag,will sweep like an avalanche dowtk the Mississippi., where they will. he joined by General, Butler in New. Orleans and Mobile.— General Buell, with nearly pr,quite the same force, will march into, Tennessee, capture Nashville, and cooperate with the Union forces ina manner mid ,diree tion it would not be Politinnow to poir4 , out. Generals Rosecrana will advance from, Western 1 7 , - trginia and do their share. in harmony with the general plan. . Generals Bunke and Stone will move in conjunction, with the rest from the Upper Potomac.— General Burnside will,,dolaia,oppointed, work in - Virginia. Gen. Sherman will explain by deeds, not words, his inaction.. General McClellan will force the rata from their holes at 'Manatisati; attack them at three points , at once,. and "fulfil' his modest pledge; thit thecwar will be' "short but despetate."" I do not' give you more then the general outline these simultanaous movements.'"'-The details of the grand plan or this care paign. will startle the world,' and vindi , rate Generid 'McClellan's`high repute- tion for military strategy.- The men and supplies 'are nnw , for the first time, nearly ready. ThOdelays eteused'main-. ly by "red tape" and imbecile fossifs and out ofthe departments, and by. thiev, ing, contractors , and material men, be accounted for, and the blame placed where it belongs. A , prentatuie,Traove-, merit would have deranged the plan of the whole campaign, which is so perfect that success is certain. A bad move r . untimely made,. might • have hazarded the game. The impending fate is, closer at hand in a limitled-number of forced moves. The loss of a piece here 6' there, the defeat of one or another divi sion of the army; cannot affect or pro-- long the result. The combinations al'e so perfect that failure is impossible I"- .1 ihr A pretty girl was: lately com— plaining to a Quaker friend that she had a cold, and was sadly plagued in her lips by chaps. "Friend," said Oba diah, "thee should never suffer the chaps, to come near thy lips," As flowers never put theft., best• cloths for Sunday, but wear spot less raiment and eMlale their Oder,every day, so let your life, free from stain, ever give forth the fragrance of the love of God. During an examination, &medical Student being asked, "When doeg mor tification ensue ?" he replied, Wien, you pop tho question, and are, answered, Cr Life has been called a iarefare. Blessed, then, is the periodical emit** of the Sabbath. It is only in the pauses of the fight that we can see'how]the: battle is going. itir A lazy fellow begged alms, saying he could not find bread' roc. " Nor I," replied an industrionli Mechan ic; "I am 'obliged to work for gar Many a good', leg , is 3wst., is battle ; thousands of fello6 wa proudly into a war andlop ge The mind is like a trunk. Itweill packed, it holds almoit everything ill packed, next to nothing. 4 tEir II the petticoat government' is not more oppressive now then formerly, it is certainly donblein extent.