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.IB3r 'VV. Stair.
OLUME XXIII.
(OA
JUST THE THING
HU ALL MUST HAVE
-.......0---..
NOW is the time to economize when money is
scarce. You should study your interest by
supplying your wants at the first class store of C.
N. BEAVER, Nottlifeast corner of the Diamond.
He does business do the only successful method,
viz: by buying his goods for cash. The old fogy
idea of buying goods at high prices and on Ingo
credits is
EXPLODED.
Call and examine' our fine stock and don't be
RUINED
by paying 20 per cent. too much for year goods else.
where. We will chalenge the community to slum
:forth a more complete stock of
MATS, all of the very latest stylesand to suit all f
at C. N. BEAVER'S.
BOOTS, all kinds and prices,
at C. N. BEAVER'S.
SHOES, of every description for Men's, Ladles',.
Misses' and Children's wear,
at . C. N. BEAVER'S.
CLOCKS, every one warranted anu sold •
by . C. N. BEAVER.
TRUNKS.of all sizes, the very best manufacture,
airanted-snad-so
by
at C. N.I3E AVER'ST—
HATS, for flines, Misses and Children, a freak
-aapply received every week and sold
by 'U.N. BEAVER.
NOTIONS, a full line as follows, sold
by C.N.BEAVEB.
PAPER COLLARS, for Men and Boys wear,
Abe most complete and finest assortment-in town,
by C. N.BEAVER.
HOSIERY, of every kind, for sale, -
by C. N. BEAVER.
-GLOVES, for Men and Boys wear,
ILC C. N. BEAVER'S.
SUSPENDERS, for Men and Boys wear,
at C. N. BEAVER'S.
--C-ANES-AND-UMBRELLAS - ,n - complete stock
at C. N. BEAVER'S.
BROOMS AND BRUSHEs, of the limy best
?kind, atC. N. BAEVER'S.
•
TOB A CCO, - toinitrth4 - teste of all,
at C. N. BEAVER'S.
CIGARS, which cannot be beat, for sale.*
by C. N.BEAVER.
SNUFF, which we chalenge any one to excel in
loamy, for sale
at
C. N. BEAVER'S.
INK and PAPER,QI every-elescrirtion.
at C. N. BE A VER'S.
CANDIES, always fresh too, for sale,
at U.N. BEAVER'S. t
SPICES, for sato
CRACKERS, of every kind,
at C. N. BEAVER'S
INDIGO BLUE,
C. N. BEAVER'S ,
CONCENTR %TED LYE...for sale,
at C. N. BEAVER'S
KE RUSENE, of the •ery Lest,—Pitts Oil,
at C. N. BEAVER'S.
LAMP CHIMNIES
C. N. BEAVER'S.
And !Billy other articles not necessary to mention.
We now hope that you will give us %share of your
patronage. We are indeed, thankful to you for past
,patronage, and hope a cont;nuance of th• same,
and temain•Youre truly,
ChARENCE N. BEATER.
Waynesboro', June 2, 1870. .
D.-S.SIMITH
Has a complete assortment of
Ladies,
Gentlemen's,
misses'
and
Children's
BOOTS, SHOES BD GIITERS.
Call and sae goods and get prices.
TEIONSON'S "GLOVE-FITTING COR
SSTS, at SMITH'S.
SCHOOL BOOKS
'and
SCHOOL STATIONERY
kinds at SMITH'S Town Hat' Store.
HATS AND CAPS,
A full stock now toady, coisisting of all the
latest styles, at
PAPER COLLARS,
Ties, Suspender'', Moves, everythinp, in that
line, at SMITH'S
Town Hall Store.
•
nov 3.
MILLINERY GOODS !
TO TUE LADIES!
MC. L. HOLLINBER(TER has just re
ceissil a full supply of new Millinery goods
ladies are invited to call and examine her stook.
nov 3—tf • '
The highest cash price will , be pieta for
Cast boa Serape delivered at the woks of the
fartf GEISER M. Cd.
110 il
while hearts with rapture spring,
The youth to beauty's lip may cling ;
To-morroir, and that lip of bliss
May sleep unconscious of his kiss.
C. N. BAEVER.
• SLEET h 8 A MEnrcrwE —The cry for rest
has always been louder than the cry for food,
not that it is - more important, but it ie often
harder to get. The beet rest comes from a
eound sleep. Of two men or women, other
wise equal, the ose who sleeps the best will
be the most moral, healthy, and efficient.—
Sleep will do mach to cure irritability of
temper,peeviehness, normainess It will re•
store to vigor an overworked brain; it will
build up and make strong a weary body ;,it
will relieve the languor and prostration felt
by consumptive ; it will cure the hypochon
dria; it will cure headache; it will cure the
heartache ; it will cure neuralgia, it will cure
a broken spirit . it will cure sorrow. Indeed,
we might make a long list of nervous mala
dies that sleep will ours. The cure of sleep
lesnoees reguiree•a clean, geed bed, sufficient
exercise to produce weariness, pleasant occu
pation, good air, and not too warm a room,
freedom from too much care, a clean stomach,
and a clear conscience, and avoidance of
stimulants and narcotics. For these who are
overworked, haggard, nervous, who pass
sleepless nights, we command the adoption of
such habits as shall secure sleep; otherwise
life will be short, and what there is of it arid
ly imperfect.
C. N. BEAVER'S
Br.usuitto —What is there more mysteri
ous than a blush, that a single word or look,
or thought should send the inimitable car•
nation over the cheek, like the soft tints of
a summer sunset? Strange is it also that
the face only—and that the human face—
is capable of blushing; that the hand or
foot does not turn red from modesty or shame
any more than does the glove or sock that
covers them. It is the fice that bears the
angel's impress; it is the face that is heaves.
The blush of modesty that tinted' woman's
face when first she awoke in Eden'. eunny
land, still lingers with her pure daughters.—
They caught it from'; be rose, for all the roses
were first white; but when Eve plucked one
of the buds, seeing her own face, more fair.
er than flowers, blushed and iast its reflex
es her velvet cheek. The face is the tab
let of the soul, whereon it writes its action.
There may be traeed ailKbe istelleoleal phe
nomenon, with a confideoee amounting to a
moral certainty. If innocence .and purity
look outward from withittotone the less vice,
intemperance, and debauchery mike their
indelible impression upon it. idiocy, iage,
cowardice, passion, all leave there traces
deeper even than the 'virtues of modesty,
truth, chastity and hope.• Even beauty its
self will grow more beautiful from the pure
thoughts that arise within it.
SMITH'S.
A young woman -at Jeffersonville, lod.,
while out walking with a young man who
had bees loving her unwisely but too nu
merously, met a minister, when she turned
to the young man', pulled out a revolver and
gave him his choice to marry her right there
or be perforated, adding that if the minister
refused to perform the ceremony, she would
shoot him. The nuptialknot was. tied. No
cards.
Why. ----.........----------
to 4
Why is a grain sad io the eye like a
schoolmaster', cane Because it burte the
pupil.
WAYNESHORO',•FRANKLIN GOUNTi, PENNSYLVANIA, mason MORNING, MARCH 2,1871.
TO-NORRVW.
To-morrow! mortal, boast not thou'
Of time and tide tit" , not now;
But th ink, in
,osis tee . ng day,
• • • • hl3r-things-ruay-pass-s.
To-day, the blooming sponse may press
Her husband in a fond caress;
I'o-morrow, and the hands that pressed
May wildly strike a widowed breast.
To-day, the gentl babe may drain
The milk•stream fr m its mother's vein ;,
To-morrow, Jike afr en rill,
That bosom's current be still.
To-day, thy merry heart may feast
On herb and fruit, on hittil and beast ;
To-morrow, spite of-all thy glee,
The htngry worms may feast on thee.
To-morrow! mortal, boast not thou
Of time and tide that ore not now ;
But think, in one revolving day,
Thal e'en_thyself may pass away.
S'ol 110.
Are - we sowing seeds of kindness?
They shall blosroul bright ere long.
ratrordh—exwd-?
SCOLLIM
They shall ripen into wrong.
Are we sowing seeds of honor ?
They shall bring forth golden grain.
Are ws soaring seeds of falsehood
We shall reap bitter pain.
Whatameer our sowing be,
Reaping, we Ito fruits must see.
We con never - be too careful
What geode our hands shall sow ;
Love froni love is sure to ripen,
Hate from hate is sure to grow.
- Seeds - of - good or - ill - ore - scatter - ---
Heedlesaly along our way ;
But a - glad-or-grievous-frtritag ,
Waits us at the harvest-day.
Whatsoe'er-our-sowing - be
Bolsi ing, we its fruits must see.
11,7, leg ILZ - law) n i g d i ll d 7- 01 111 klith
IMC=MIZ
.A.m. Ixictorm•3r3cleitst V'eAm.ll3r WONX7o3l:o6tri (3r.
OUTWITTING THE INDIANS.
It was just after the close of the Revolu
tionary war and the settlement. of the pio.
seers were seldom doiturbed by any Periods
attack of the Indians; though of course
there still existed• that strong hatred between
the two races whieh will always continue as
long as there is an uncivilised Indian upon
the face of the globe. It. was not sate .to
trust yourself with them unless you were ful
ly armed and always ready to resist any at
tack which their treaeherous nature might
*f_the_y_theraght they hadad•
of you.
It was thus that things stood when Daniel
Boone, the great and renowned tioneer bus
ter of Kentucky, settled• down in active farm
ing life. His larm or plantation was at a eon
eiderable distance from any other, and he bad
to be constantly on the alert, lest the wily
savages should catch him 'asleep,' and thus
overmatch him. One of the principle pro.
dnotione of his plantation was tobacco, and
though he raised large quantities be never
used it himself. For the drying and storing
of this tobaoeo he had erected a small buil
ding of two stories or rather one story and a
loft, which at this time, was fall of the stalks
and unsalable remains of last year's crop.
Within to remove this rubbish before stor
ing the now stock, he resolved to commence
early one Thursday morning and finish be.
fore noon, so that he could employ his time
more profitably in the afternoon. When he
had eaten an early breakfast be took down
his rifle and seeing that it was loided and
primed- be-pat-it-behind-the-door,-ready—for
instantuse. As the drying house wasbut a
few_steps_from_the house, he did not deem it
necessary_to_take_the_rifle_with_him_as_the_
Indians had not been seen in that locality
for-a-considerable-length-of-timtraad,he-had
no idea that the would make their appear.-
- -'llaces--for-some-weekt,--Bitt=he made-agrea
mistake and barely escaped being_taken_prie.
oner in consequence of hie recklessness.
It was about 10 o'clock, and having shear
ed all the litter from the lower apartment, he
had just commenced in the loft above when
voices were heard below. He glanced thro'
a crack in the flooring and saw four Indiana
each armed with a grin, who were evidently
looking for him, Beeping very quiet, he
hoped that they would'nt look in the loft for
him; but the hope was vain, as he well knew.
The Indians were too cunning to go away
- withTiat - examinieg - tbe wieole - huilding, and
after they had satisfied themselves that he
-was--not in the first room, they got on some
barrels which stood in one corner, and looked
up into the loft, which only extended about
three quarters the length of the 'building.—
One glance was sufficient; and they saw that
Boone was there and not armed: So the one
who appeared to be leader spoke in hie bro
ken English.
'Big Warrior some down; you prisoner;
mast come with Seneca brava, who have
traveled many days to feteh.'
Boone now saw ho* foolish he bad been
to leave the rifle at his house, even if it was
but a leer steps ; but he was a man who was
equal to an emergency, and knowing it would
be folly to resist, he tried to chink of some
plan of escape. He knew there was no way
of getting out of the snare except by using
strategy—so not wishing to bare the Indians
know that he was frightened at his situation,
he coolly replied :
'Now see here, I know you are all great
braves, and I hope you will let me finish my
work first; I've only got to take out a few
more of these sticks of tobacco and then I'm
perfectly willieg to go with yew'
• 'No,' answered.the Red Skin, 'we in big
harryi come now, or me shoot,' and they
levele3 their rifles at him. There was a look
on their faces which told Boone that it he
was going to do anything he must do it im
mediately. While he had been parlying with
them he had formed a plan of outwitting
even the most sunning of the Seneca braves.
As he talked he had continued to gather up
fragments of leaves and stalks, as if to throw
them out, and at the same time bad advanced
to the edge of the loft, the more readily to
speak to the Indians, who were in, a group
just below him. ,Suddenly he leaped from
the left with his arms fall of dried tobacco,
and flinging it in their faces, he made for the
house at the top of his speed, where he ar
rived is perfect safety, as the pungent tobac
co dust had filled the eyes and mouths of the
Indians, rendering them perfectly harmless
for some seconds. When they recovered
they looked toward the house and saw Boone
quietly standing at a window with a rifle in
his hand ready to repel any assails. Re
membering the stories which they had heard
about him and his rifle, they wisely conch",
ded to let him alone, and plunging into the
wood which bordered the 'plantation, they
left Boone unmolested.
TIMBIRDE4.-Iti a few short weeks, or a
mouth or two at most, we will have the dear
little birds paying us , their annual visit, and
just think of it, how maey wretches stand
ready, with gnu in band, to weloome them
to destruction / How barbarous i There is
no one. thing of so much service to. the far
mer and\ horticulturist RR the little birds.
ror a number of years fruit has been the ex
ception instead of the rule, owing to the
destructiveness of tbo insects, which little
birds, whet abundant, consume almost en—
tirely, and yet tbere has been very little ef
fort made to stay the hands of the destroy
ers, and preserve these useful and pretty
little songeters, that cheer us in the hours,
of sadness sad make our hearts leap for joy
by their melodious songs and twitterisgs.
Who Ws all the nntbrellii that overybeiy
loves ? Every man we meet haw" the umbrel
la he imps, but we have never met the man
wbo finds them. Answer wanted before the
next fell of rain.
Tang ladies had better be fast asleep
than fast awake:
Spanish Burial Customs
The 0119t063 of burying the dead in tho
gown and cowl of moake has greatly passed
into disuse. The mortal relies are treated
with growing contempt, as the superstitions
of the people gradually lose their concrete
character. The soul is the important mat
ter which the church now looks to. So the
cold clay is carried off to the cemetery with
small eeremony. Even the coffins of the
rich are jammed away into receptacles too
small for them and, hastily plastered out of
eight. Tie poor are carried off on trestles
huddled—into-their—nameless-graves,—without
following or blessing. Children are buried
with some regard to the old Oriental customs.
The coffin is of some gay and cheerful color,
'pink, or blue, and is carried open to the.grave
by' four of the dead child's companions, a
fifth walking behind with the ribbened cof
fin-lid. I have often seen these touching
little patties moving through 'the 'bustling
streets, the peacefalittle face Weep under
the open sky, decked wash the fading roses
and withering lilies.
In all well-to-do families the house of
death is deserted immediately after the fun
eral. The stricken ones retire to some other
habitation, and there pass eight days in
strict and inviolable seclusion. On the
ninth day the great masses for the repose of
the soul of the departed are said in the par
ish church, and all the friends of the family
are expected to be present. These masses
are the most important and expensive inoi
dent of the funeral. They cost from two
hundred to one thousand dollars, according
to-thestrength—and—fervor-of—the—orisoat
employed. They are repeated several years
on the anniversary of the disease, and afford
a-most-sure-and—flourishing—revenne—to-the
church. They are founded upon those feel-
ings inseparabte — frem every human heart,
• nit• and affection. Our dead friends
117 p raye - d — fer — as — t Irene - of
others—, and-who-knows-but-that—they==may
be in deadly need of prayers 1 To shorten
their fiery penalise by one hour, who would
not fast for a week ? Oa these anniversaries
a black bordered advertisement appears—in
the newspapers. headed 'by the sign of the'
arose and the Repieseatia Pace announcing
that on this day twelve months Don Febrile
de Tel passed from earth garnished with the
holy sacraments, that all the masses this
day celebrated in such and suck churches
will be applied to the benefit of' his spirit!.
repose, and that all Christian friends are
hereby requested to commend his soul this
day unto God. These united efforts at sta
ted times are regarded as very - efficacious.
A luxury of grief, in those who can af
ford it, consists in• shutting up a house
where a death has taken place and never suf
fering it to be opened again. I mice saw' a
beautiful house and wide garden thus aban
doned in one of the most fashionable streets
of Madrid. I inquired about it and found
it was formerly the residenee of the Duke
of —.His wife had died there , many years
before, and since that day not a door nor a
window was opened. The garden gates were
red and rough with rust. Grass grew tall
and rank in the gravelled walks. A think
lush undergrowth had overrun the flower
'beds and the lawns. The blinds were rotting
over the darkened windows. Luxuriant
vines clambered over all the mossy doors.—
The stucco was peeling from the walls is
great unwholesome blotches. Wild birds
sang all day in the safe solitude. There was
something impressive in this spot of mould
airi silence, lying there ro green and implaca
ble in the very heart of a great and noisy
city. The duke lived in Paris, leadidg the
rattling life of a man of the world. He nev
er would sell or let that Madrid haulm. Per.
haps in his heart also, that hattereld thorough.
fare worn by the pattering boots of Mahille
and the Bois, and the Quartier Breda, there
was a green spot sacred to memory and silence
where no foetball should ever light, where
no living voice shenNi ever be heard, shut out
from the world and its cares and pleasures,
where through the gloom of dead days h e
could catch a glimpse of a white hand, a
flash of a dark eye, the rustle, of a trailing
robe, and feel sweeping over him the old
magic of love's young dream, softening his
fancy to tender regret and his eyes to a hap•
py mist.
"Like that which kept the heart of Eden green
Before the useful troublo of the rale;
THE KIND CONDUOTON a pleasure
to say oomothiug.to the credit of an individ•
usl who belongs to that inuch-abused class of
our community, horse ear conductors, whom
people like to believe dishonest. On the
morning of the Fourth, a little girl riding to
Boston tendered to a oonduotor, for fare, a
tingy.looking scrip, of the denomination of
twenty-five cents. He took it, looked at it,
said, 'Counterfeit!' and returned it to her.
Evidently judging by her apperanee that
it was all she bad, he added, 'Never wind,
let it go tilt next time.
But the girl was mortified by the aircum-
Masco, and, her eyes brimming with tears,
she turned her face away. A lady standing
near remarked, 'Her Fourth of July is spoil
ed.'
The conductor heard her, and hesitating
bet a moment, said to the girl, 'Let's see
that money again.'
She handed it to him, and then be took
from big pocket the brightest; ewest twenty.
five cent scrip be could fled, and gave it to
excliaage. When he saw ber cone.
tenance expressing the thanks abe could cot
utter, we have no doubt that she -felt amply
rewarded, and we will wager quite so amount
that his wearisome labors that day were very
mush lightened by his little act of kik'.
ness.
There is sacredness in tears. They are not
the mark of weakness, but of power.' •They
speak more eloquently than ten thousand
tongues. They.are the me►sengers of over•
wheltniog grief, 'or deep contrition, and of
nospeakable love.
A Gentle Hint
Old'Deacon Hopkins was a worthy. Bold
and generally respected for his outward show
of piety and religions teal; and I have no
doubt that he felt at heart most that he pio
f eased.
But the Deacon had his wealtechs. In
a certain direction ho was troubled with a
morbid desire. Itis chief employment was
the making of soap from ashes which he
gathered in the neighborhood, and in making
his soap he was obliged to keep two or three
kettles of lye boiling to which end an abun•
dance of fuel was ascot sary.
Now it so happened that the Deacon's
neighbor was Captain Jack Payson, whose
Balling kept him upon salt water the great
er part of the time. Captain. Jack was a
great hand to keep hie family supplied with
well seasoned wood, and as ho owned no• ex
tensive forest lot, he often had a vast pile of
it cut and hauled to his house, and' there
worked up and stacked. It furthermore
chanced that the rear door of the good , Dea
con's soap house opened directly upon the
rear of Capton Jack's huge wood pile. The
temptation was strong. Surely, there could
be no harm in taking a few of the scattering
slieks ; the Captain would never miss them.
But the disease grew upon the oecossity. of
feeding the fires, and be fancied, kind , old
soul ! that the Captain would never miss the
abstracted fuel. But be was destined to rath•
er an unlooked for and unpleasant enlighten
ment, as we shall soon see.
The queition was up before the church
of introducing instrumental musie into the
- choir:Ose - of - the - singerr - had - a - bare — viol;
which he was willing to play if the broth.
ern would permit, and both .he aid the cher
-is ter - declared - thatit - would - h elp - thcrtringing„ -
wonderfully. But this was before the days
when fiddles were tolerated in sacred places,
and several of the brothers objected. Den-
- eon eop ins was en usias ic an( er in
- his oppeition. At -a -fall meeting of the
church he expressed himself decidedly.
Captain Jaek, who chanced to be on share,
was present, and' favored the introduction of
the viol.
'Bring it in,' cried the Deacon, 'and 1 will
go out( 1 won't be seen where that big fid
dle is tolerated.'
'Will you stick to that pledge, Deaeon I'
asked the Captain.
'Yes, Star replied the irate functionary.
___ l _Then,!--said—Captain—ETack, with a curious
twinkle of the eye, 'you shan't be troubled
with the fiddle in the church. I will buy it
and bang it •pen my wood pile!'
The poor Deacon shrank away behind his,
enormous shirt collar, while the friends of
the big fiddle darried their point.
'GO' AND 'Copse.'—lf you want business
done,' says the proverb, 'go' and *IL, if
you don't want it done, send some one else'
An indolent gentleman had a freehold estate,
producing about fire hundred a year. Be•
coming involved in debt, ho sold half the e.
state, and let the remainder to an industrious
farmer for twenty years. About the end of
the term the farmer called to pay the tent,
and asked the owner if he would sell kis
farm
'Will you buy it ?' mated the owner, sur
prised.
'Yes, provided we can agree about the
price.'
'That is exceedingly strange,' observed
the gentleman ; 'pray tell me how it happens
that while I could not live upon twice as
much laud, for which I paid so rent, you are
regularly paying me two hundred a year,
and are able in a few years to purchase it ?'
'The reason is plain,' was the reply ;!you
sat still and said go! I got up alai said
come. Yost laid in , bed and enjoyed your e
state; I rose in the morning and minded my
businoes.'— Self Help.
THE GENTLEMAN.—It ig no very uncom
mon thing in the world to meet with men of
probity ; there are, likewise, a west many
men of honor to be found. Men of courage,
men of sense, and men of letters are, fre
quent, but a tree gentleman is what one sel
dom sees. 110 is properly a compound of
the various good qualities that embattle"
mankind. As the great poet animates ell - the
different parts of learning by the farce of his
genius, and irradiates all the compass of his
knowledge by the luster and brightnea■ of
his imagination, so ell the great and solid per
factions . of life appear in the finished gentle.
man; everything he say, or does is aceem
pealed with :a manner, or rather a charm,
that elicits the admiration and good-will of
every beholder.
BRWARE OF TUE FIRST GLASS.-A few
years since, one of the business men of East
Boston, the head of a respectable family,
took to the use of ardent spirits—at first
moderately, but soon descended to the con•
dition of a . miserable drunkard. His family
were enable to live with him, his partner in
business dissolved with him, and finally be
seek so low that the colored woman what
washed for hie family in his days of prosperi•
ty, took pity on him and gave him food and
shelter. A few days since he was removed
to the care of Dr. Collis, and is now lying
in the last stages of oonsumptioo, brought
on by intemperance. It is the first cup that
snares, it' s the last that destroys.
An old nettler objects to a, proposed rail-
road in his region in these words :4The pea
pie is gone wild on this here railroad quesh.
tine. Homes that is now wntb forty Oilers,
won't be truth five dollars a bed: Wagin
makers will'atarvo to death. Oats won't be
wnth nothin,' and we'll hat to quit raisin
on'em. Coon skins won't be mouth a ones,
and the bellerin' steam wagins'll skeer all the
game out of the country. sell off and git
for Arkansaw it they 'don't stop this here
railroad'
A holm may .go blind, bat its thiYur
should not.
80.00 1 3 cor , "E oar
Too Poor.
Brother Moore, of the Rural Kew Yorker;
was sitting in his office some years ago. when.
a farmer friend came in and 1 , 1 i d —Trienct , .
Moore I likeyour paper s but tiwea are se
hard I cannot pay tor-it.'
'la that so. friend Jones Z• I'm very /tor.
ry to bear that you are ackopoor; and if you.
are eo bard run I will give )ou my paper.'
'Oh, no ! I can't take it as a gilt.'
'Well, Wen let us see how we can fit it..
You raise chickens I believe.'
'Yes; a few, but they duet bring auj Wog;
befdly.'
`Don't they,? Neither does my paper cost
anything hardly. Now I have d proposition,
to make to you ; I will continue your paper-
and when yen go ht Cue you may select from
your lot one hen and cull her wino.. Take
good ears of her, and. bring ine the proceeds,
whether ie sags chickens, and we - will sail
it square.'
'All right Brother Moore,' and the old feh.
low chuckled at what he thought Wdß a cap
ital bargain, • -
He kept the eastreot strictly, and at the
end of the year found that be Lad raid a.
bout four prices for his paper. lie often.
tells the j.oke en h'itiself and fags he never
had the lace to say he was too peer to taka•
a paper 'since that day.
A SHORT "LEADER" North.
was ouce asked by the editor of a paper with
which ho wee coot:meted, to write a leading
article opposiog the tetupereoce onovitoteut
which was then waking a greet siir itl the
- e,ity - oftNew — Y.Tifk - . --- 'W rile we a good ode,
and I will give yea tweety to it,'
said-the-edrtat- -
dio — you -- ;wisiir et] uirecr
'Aa short as you eno make it," was the ro.
Pl9._
`ort at own lime
the following :
'We would rather IMO ibe wloolu w6rld
drunk of their own accord than oue man so
ber en compulsion'
The twenty dollars were immediately hand
ed over, and the paragraph published as a
loader.
ADAM'S ALE.— The limpid stream, the
tiny Pptieg, the gurgling brook, and the
mighty river, all proolains that this is the
only„-drink:—ever—intentled—for man. The
shipwrecked seaman, the weary traveler on
the sandy desert, and the poor dying soldier
of the battle field, all cry water ! water!
The rink man in the scriptures offeted all of
his possessions for jest one drop Man dies
without it and yet for ail this we are daily
destroying its purity by mixing with it vil•
lainous compounds, not being satisfied with
father Adam's good and wholesome drink,
How strange and incomprehensible is bums°
nature.
'lf you do not ales. that window, waiter I
shall die from the draught,' said a lady at
dinner. 'And if you do close it, I shall die
from the heat in this hot weather r e=olaim•
ed a atouter fair lady. Then there was a
giggle among the diners at the dilemma of
the waiter, when a literary gentleman present
said, .bly good fellow, your duty is clear;
close the window and kill one lady, and open
it again and kill the tither lady.'
A muddy stream flawing into one 'leer
and sparkling, ter time rolls along by its.
self. A little further down they unite and
the whole is impure. §o youth, untouched
by site, may for a short time keep its purity
in foul oowpsny, but a little later and they
mingle.
'Jim, I believe Sambo has get no truth in
hien.' 'You don't know, dere am more mutt
in that nigar data all the rest on the planta.
tion.' 'Bow do you make dat out ?' Why,
be neber lets any out.'
Mark Twain says : 'I hat* seen slower pee•
pie than I am—and more deliberate people
than I tum = and oven quieter, and more list.
less, and lazier people than I am. Bat they
were dead.'
'Boy did you take an armful of my shin
gles on Sunday?" Why, sir mother want
ed some kiodliog wood and I didn't witot
to split wood on a Sunday,'
A novo after gazing at the•Chioese exclaim
ed, l lf do whits folks is as dark us dat out
der• , I wonder what's the color ob de niggers.
Josh Billings says: 'When a foller gits a
goin down bill, it dna seem ea tho' every.
thing had been greased for the kasha's.'
If four men build a stone wall in nine dart,
bow loog will it take five men to build a like
wall in eiz days ?'
When is Bridket,kike the kitchen fire ?
When Pho's gone evil and likewise when,
ehe fines up.
A goat is as good as a milker, but sue.
(made better as a butter.
Why is the letter Y like a prodigal''
Beeause it makes pa pay!
When is watetk,tilbt fat Whet I.
dripping.
What color is a bucket ? A rather pal&
(pail) color.
Promisee made in the time of affliction re.
quire a better memory than people 0.111 1 / 1 01 - •
ly rams.
A lawyer,in Indiana recently threw ait ink
atand at a preeiding judge, and wae MI to
jail fir 111 o mth a.
oooDevil' hasari!ke:fishing—pc;im hi.
• . .
NIIII3EII V.
itttely, and wrote