Village record. (Waynesboro', Pa.) 1863-1871, January 19, 1871, Image 1

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    , . •
._ . . ~
'.0.-90! • .4 .*.... f..A3":-...,-,11.... ' , ,'(>~•
. . .
. .., . . . . '
. .
. . -...,.,..2.....:.:T.....m. ~ . -,
...., _
....„„
.-r--
11 ',. ,, ri -
. .. _ .
• - . .....
4 -,,,,, i. , -•... ~ ~. 1 ,—. .
,:: • ,
t
. -
•
_ .
.
• - '
' - '-• ' z .;7 7, ' .
•t
.
. .
,
D ..
i .„
.
•
..
, •.. ~. ~..i. ,.,..,).. ..
,
. ,„.. .
...._......_
.
. .
~,,; .... ~:•...,,.. , • .
. .
~
. r)...
. .
•. . .
,••
,
, _:.4.71..:,.,...,„,.. ~......:..,..,....... :...,.....„.,
,
.."
... ~............ ..
~.......•.,.....,..„......,,..t.......,...„.„.•_,......„,..„:„., :i-f...-.--,..1,..-;,-
r
. . -,,i2:10,-r.t;.:' , -'744 tf ilizz-gili•T:
. ,
. '''''.",i,,i;"•,:tn7.';a4r4a,,..,.-17".1,217'7{ •-;-, • • . -, -
333 r mslear.
VOLUME XXIII.
JUST THE THING
11111011 ALL lIIUST HAVE!
-0-
NOW is the time to economize when money is
scarce, You should study your intercbt by
supplying veer waits at tlie find class store of
N. 'B AVE R, North-cast corner of the Diamond.
He does business on the only successful method,
viz: by buying his goods for casn. The old fogy
idea of buying goods at high prices and on Ingo
credits is
Call and examine our fine stock and don't bi
RUINED
by paying 20 per cent. too much for your goods else
where. We N't ill chalenge the coltimunity to show
forth a more cumplLte stuck of -
HATS, all of the very latest styles and to suit all,
at U. N. BEAVER'S.
BOOTS, all kinds and prices,
at C. N. BEAVER'S.
SHOES, of every description for Alen's, Ladies',
isseb' and :Children's. wear,
at - C7N - BE A V ER'S.
CLOCKS, every,One warrant, d anu Mold
C. ItE-A-V-E R.--
TRUNKS. of all sizes. the very best manufacture,
also warranted and sull
by • C. N, BAEVER.
VALISES, of every - kind, also vrry cheap,
at -
H ITS,. for Ladies. Misst.s and Children, a fresh
supply received every week and sold -
by C. N. BEAVER.
NOTIONS, a full lir.e as follows, t.oid
by C. N.BEAVER. •
PAPER COLLARS, for Men and' Boys wear,
th e m ust complete and finest assortment in town,
by C .N.BEAVER
110:-IERIAii,f every kind, for sale,
y C. N. BEAVER .
GLOVES, f.ir Nivn and Buys wear,
U. N. BEAVER'S.
SU:WENDERS, for Men and Bova wenn,
at N BEAVER
. .NI:16 AND UMBRELLA'S, a cotapictesl;:lCk
at U. N. BEAVER'S.
BROOMS AND.BEUSIIES, of the veiy best
kind, at U. N. BAEV ER'S.
TOBACCO, to suit the taste of all,
at C. N.,.BEAVER'S.
CIGARS, which cannot be beat, for sale.
by C. N. BEAVER.
SNUFF, which we chalenge any one to excel in
qtility, fur sale
at
C. N. BEAVER'S.,
INK and PAPER, of ...very description,
at C. N. RE :NYE R'S.
CANDIP, always, fresh too, fmr sale,
at C. N. 'SEATER'S
SPICES, for sale
---- C. N. BEAVER'S
CRACKER'S, of every kind,
ni U. N. BEAVER'S
Il' 4 DIGO BLUE,
at C. N BEAVER'S
CONCENTRATED LYE, for sale,
at N RAN' E
KEROSENE,oftheArmylcst,—Pitts (
at C N. BEAVER'S
LAUP C111:11NIES also,
C N BEAVER'S
And,m Any other 'nrsieles not necessary to mention.
Wre now hope that you will give us a share of sour
rttronage. kV a are indeed, thliiiinn t...) you tor pa*,t
patronage, and ht po a cool's:winee of the saute,
and itina , n you , rs ttuiy,
CI,AIthAUE N, 13E \NEL
•
Wavnek•boro . , Tune 2, 18711
D. SS T
Ilas a complete tvsortuactit of
Lail es,
Gentlemnes,
Plisses'
ChiLaren's
POTS, SHOEN AND GIITERS.
Cal; and see:goods and get prices.
TEIO3I3ON'S (.GLOVE FITTING COR
lirs, at SMrrn's.
se nooL BOONS
SCHOOL STATIONERY
of all kinda . ut Smrria's Town Ilall.-StOre,
HATS AND - CAPS,
A full stock now ready, coosisting of all the
I.test styles, at
PAPER COLLARS,
Ties, Savenders, GloveF, everything in - that
it/Jo, at ITII S
Tam lia.l Store.
Hardware ! hardware !
TEIE undersigned having just returned from the
Eastern citios now:op:crud to mall Uutlery, Buil
ding Hardware, &r., at t xtraordmary low r.ttss.
tiattmg purchased for cash' thoy nro.enabled to
Offer inducements to cu.t ntersjor rash. •
A full line at Builders' and 111 ektsmiths' Goods
always nil hand.
They are Woo agents for the et Lbrated Lemnos
,edge Tool Work..
JOHN lIIJBEE SONS.
Vhanth.ls'vg, Nov. 17-187.0.
Echoes of cathedral music, '
Heard—it may be,— long ago;
Linger with us unforgotten,
Haunt us still and live and grow ;
They are drifting, softly drifting
Through the wild unrest of life,
Golden organ-notes, uplifting
Weary souls above the strife.•
Though the clamor of the city
Round our outer being
Still these sacred notes are filling-
A II the chambers of our souls ;
As if touched by hands immortal,
strap cords. tremulous with love,
Drifted through some open portal
Of the wondrous church above !
In' the ;ray and silent morning,
Ere the shadows are withdrawcn,
When the white mist hides the valley
With a veil of airy lawn; •
Then we listen— hearing Slowly '
Through the stillness deep and calin,
Murmurs of that music holy,
Like the cadence of a psalm.
When the summer sunset lingers
' 1.c4 adown the crimson West,
And the weary herds arc tolled
With the blessed sense of rest,
Then we listen—strengthened, soothed
By the magic of that strain,
'Tin the furrowed brow is smoothed,
And the heart grows young again..
They are drifting, softly drifting,
Through the great world's daily strife.
Golden organ-notes that tell us
Of a new and better life;
Love, clear music, sweetly blending
With the spirit's voiceless cry ;
Under-tones that have no ending,
E chore of eternity !
3MI ISE& c:riP.. T,-a IA ALM' 1r .
A LOUISVILLE ROMANCE.
THROWING DICE-A HUNDRED THOUSAND
DOLLARS AGAINS A LADY'S HAND.
A Louieville (Kentucky) correspondent of
a California paper tells the following improb•
able story
There lived on street, in an unpre
tending establishment, surrounded by trees
and flowers, a young lady who was celebrated
for her beauty and accomplishments. She
was a blootitveith—l- And—eyes, white teeth,
and a heavenly smile—had the prettiest hand
and foot that ever was seen—and was tall,
lithe, and elegant. Her wit was delicate,
pointed and spark 3 log, and her mind as sit
perior as her person was lovely. The town
was at her feet, and her suitors were as int
portanate, if not as many, as Penelope, like
whom she was continually wooed and never
yet won. In the midst of her success came
the war, the end of which found her faaiily
impoverished, and herself reduced to want
for the necessaries of life.
But she was still the same proud, impert•
ous mistress of hearts as before, and she re
fused in quick succession the many offers of
mnrriage that were now made her She had
not thought of matrimony as a resource, but
had other and totals, different prospects in
view. She proposed, in fact, to teach a
school
A fellow-townsman, a gentleman of wealth
and position, and a bactidor, had long been
a silent - worshipper at her shrine. lie had
houses and lands—estates in the country and,
lots in the city—stocks, interests and invest.
[Dents wherever they would pay, and his pri•
vale establishment on street was simply
palatial. Seeing how the case stood with her
whom he loved with his whole soul, he re.
solvA, atter many sell comm»nings and' much
reflection, to ask her to be his wife.
proposal,
'I
said she, in answer to his proposal,
do not love you, and cannot marry you.'
'Think the matter over, my deur,' said he,
'and in one week frocr, to day, give me your
answer.'
.Upon his return ; on the day set, she said
to him:
'Sir, you have wealth and I am poor; you
live in a palace, and I, as you see, in a cot
tage ; you are desirous of having my hand,
and I would like very much to be rich. I
will make you a proposition. I will throw
the dice with you—my hand against $lOO,-
000 ! Is it a bargain ?'
`lt is,' said be. Aod thereupon they, plede
ed to each other thar words to abide ,the haz
ard.
It was arranged that but three persons
should be let into the secret ; that each sho'd
select,a friend; and that the two selected
Friends were to choose a third. Miss
named the Hon. Mr —, a prominent trem
bar of the bar, as her friend; Mr. chose
.Rev. Mr: pastor of the fashionable
ch web on street, as his; and these two
made choice of Dr. an eminent profes
sor of the Medical College, as. the friend of
both parties. .liy these gentlemen the re
liminaries were arranged, and the progvamme
was this :
SMITEL'S q
Tho Doctor was to give a party at his
house on a certain specified Friday evening,
at which were to be present all the best peo:
pie of Lluisville • the • Hon Mr --•-•• was to
•
have a license in blank, ready to be filled at
a moment's notion, and was to hold
Check for $100,000; and the Rev Mr.
was to be in waiting to perform the marriage
ceremony, if trilled on to do so. The dice
was to be airma in Lion. Nr. —'s
WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, THURSDAY MORN
- ipc:)miTxc)A..3cA.
DRIFTING.
dial Ix:icier:Ham rtaxially Werviraptexpeor.
whence the quintet were to proceed to the
party, where, it Miss lost, they were to.
celebrate-the -wedding,, a ud-if-sbe -woo; they
were to mingle with the guests without re•
mark-
At precisely nine . o'clock on the eventful
evening the playeis and their friends met in
the [lon. —'s study. By agreement of
the parties themselves they were to throw
poker dioe,and to cut cards for the first throw.
The• gentleman cut a queen and the lady a
jack, and now came the tug of war. Lie was
cool, calm, and pale; she was stat u esque, im•
perious, and collected. His lips were com
pressed; per's were formed into an extended
arc, spanning the whole mouth and comple
ting the bow. The twain sat on opposite
sides of a small table, and the umpires stood
overlooking them.
The dice-box being set before him, Mr.
placed his fingers over the top, and
with the thumb clasping the side, he gave it
a shake and threw two fours and two deuces.
Putting aside the fours, he threw again, and
threw another four. Then throwing the two
remaining dice, he threw two fives He had
thrown, therefore, a full—three fours and
two &ea.
And now came Miss —'s turn. It was
a thrilline , moment, and the rustle of her silk
dress in the stillness of that room sounded
like tree tops in the wind. She began by
drawing off her right glove exposing a hand
of exquisite beauty and delicacy, on the fore
finger of which sparkled a diamond. Then,
taking up the box quickly, she gave it a long
shake in the air, and, turning it down upon
the table, she threw—nothing ! A cloud
thereupoe_passed peer her face, tied the are
of her lips assumed a still more bowlike cur
vative. But, nothing daunted., she at once
retook the box and threw again--this time
turning up our deuces! - and the fifth-dih-e
-'cocked ! Terrible mischance! Miserable luck!
Again she threw, and th - rew two deuces and
two trays —Puttine,;_alLthe dice back into the I
box, sh,e had left but one . other and last
throw, upon which now rested her only
chance. For the first time since she sat deice
she spoke and asked• for a glass of water.—
Having drank a tumblerfull, she sat for a
moment pressing together her eyebrows be
tween hor thumb and forefinger, and then all
of a sudden, she snatched up the dice box
and shook it vehemently, and throw— three
fours and two sixes, and won ! And did she
take the money ? you ask me: I answer most
emphatically—she did.
Unwilling to be Shot .
Emotional insanity having beets so often
pleaded successfully by husbands in Oali
fornia in defence of shooting .or knifing of
suspected gallants, the San Francisco News
Letter says: •
'All men's wives who have hither enjoy
ed the advantage of our acquaintance are
hereby notified that this ceases to day, never
to be renewed: It is with deep grief that we
disrupt the social relations which promise so
much but we feel impelled thereto by the
first law of nature. Our lady friends who
have the misfortune to be married to other
and inferior men will please stick like a leech
to their legal protectors, and not recognize
us an the street. We have taken considera
ble pleasure in their society—a pleasure
which we flatter ourselves has been mutual
but this thing can no longer be permitted
to go on. We' trust that our motive—Which
is pure cowardice—will not be misconstrued.
Somebody perishes ingloriously every day
for being upon speaking terms with married
women, and we do not care to have our turn
came round Deeply grateful for the past
to; bearalleo of aggrieved husbands, we make
sir bow and retire Hereafter our nods and
smiles will be lavished upon girls and wid
ows exclusively—ne others need apply
Whosoever shall attempt tiAin trod ace us to
his own wife, or that of another man, will be
regarded as a conspirator against our pre
cious life, and subjected to abuse in the col•
emus of this paper. Nature is strong in us,
and we do not wish to die. Whenever we
shall feel a desire thee way, we shall treat
somededy'e wife with common courtesy, get
shot, and go quietly CO our reward.
SoNtEmtr.s—The following , is one of Mr
Prentice's little waifs, so rakny of which ap
peared in the Journal in ite palm
lest days :
'Sometimes—it is a sweet, sweet song,
warbled to and fro among the topmost boughs
of the heart, filling the whole air with such
joy and gladness as the birds do when the
summer morning comes Got of the darkness,
and day is born on-the mountains. We have
all our possessions in the future. which we
call sometime. Beautiful flowers and sing•
ing birds are there, only out bands seldom
grasp the one, er our ears hear the other.—
But oh, reader, be of -good cheer. . For all
the good there is a golden sometime; when
the hills and valleys of time are all passed—
when the wear and fever, the disappointment
and the sorrow of life are over—then there
is the place of rest appointed of God. Oh,
homestead over who's roof fall no shadows
or even clouds, and over whose threshold
the voice of sorrow is never heard—built
upon the etormil hills, and standing with
spires and pionacles of celestial beauty
among the palm trees of the city on high—.
those who love God shall rest under thy
shadow, where is no more sorrow nor pain,
nor the sound of weeping—botnetime.
WISHES OF Lamest—First, a hutharid;
second, a fortune; third, a baby; fchrth, a
trip to Europe; fifth, a better haling dress
than any of her neighbors; sixth, to be well
buttered with flattery; seventh to have no•
thing to do in particular; eight, to be hand.
some; ninth, to be thought well of, tenth, to
make a sensation, eleventh, to attend wed
dings; twelfth, to Le always considered un•
dot thirty.
A guide for to morrow—the folly of Tee
ter d ty.
Dutch ‘Vitisdota..
DY PETER SOIINEIDER, M. D.
„'Misery acquaints a man mit strange ped
fellows.' So does whiskey.
If you vink at viekedness you may ash veil
sboin in mit it.
An inheritance somedimes lab more of a
curse den a penefit..
An empty pocket lab noding along aide
of a empty bead.
For every hour lost in youth it dukes dree
in after life to nsaVti it up again.
The worst enemy to fear lib your own pad
demper.
No one ever shumps into crime all at ones.
Dat's a slow process—leetle by leetle and
step by step—if you start right in de begin
log— nod de pest place for dat ish de vhia
ky shop] it vont be long before you viii be
on de strait road to de gallows. Pelieve it,
but duct try it.
`Dead men dells no dales.' If they could
I pelievo dhey vould advise dheir living
friends to lead petter lives.
If you find a toiler or so, vidh somebody
has lost,'don't keep it yourself for it don't
pelong mit you. Patter give it to de poor.
Dat's de vay it viii do your more loot.
A veek's sickness pringe many to repen
tance—but shunt so soon ash dhey recover
dheir health pack agin dhey fall lot dheir
same olt vays again
No one need attemptto plead a Cause I'qr
ignorance in a coitodry like die, vere so
many nice free schools vas.
Self praise ish no praise at all.
A eels.sh man viii never make a goot
friend.
lf you pass—your youth in itieness ydu
must not oomblain of overt , in your olt
_Dar_must_Certainly_pe_somedinge _wrong
wit our 'present system of bunishing, erimi•
oats, for-de-more--bunishment—darish — dealt
out to law preakers, why de more crime dar
seems to pc.
Man must over be on his guard, for dat
ticked tieful vas all de time iuventimg some
new decantation to lead him to testruotion.
Advice ish bratty much like medisin- 7
everypody likes to offer it but nopody cares
much about taking it.
Many times it ish potter to let, vot you
hear, go in one ear and out of de odder.
I must smile a drifle yen 1 see a man
weighing spout dhree hundret pounds sing
'Pat me in mine leetle ped.'
- No man knows not vot to morrow vil
pring, and may pe it vast Fetter for him dat
he did'ot.
Ven ever I see a man and wife quarreling
1. always look - pack a few years and yonder
if dhey ever expected such a ding von dey
vas courting.
lope lab a balm dat heals many a woe.
Dar isb noding vhieh &los de atnbition
out of a man more den a lazy wife . und a tir
ty home•
Yen ever I see a fallen voman, I always
feel so pad peeause Atm and Eve did no:
leave dat apple tree-alone.
TOASTS AND SENTIMENTS' : —May the hon
est heart never know distress.
'May we be slaves to nothing but.our du
ty.
May care be a stranger where virtue resi
des.
May hemp bind those whom honor cannot.
Nay our prudence secure us friends, but
enable us to live without their assistance.
May sentiment never be sacrificed by the
tongue of deceit.
May happiness be sincere, and our joys
lasting.
Nay the smiles of coojnal felicity com
pensate the frown of fortune.
May the tear of sensibility' never cease to
flow
Msy the road to preferment be found by
nune but those who deserve it.
May the liberal hand find free access to
the purse of plenty.
May the impulse of generosity never be
ebeekild by the power of necessity.
May we always forgot when we forgive an
iej cry.
May the feeling - heart possess the fortune
the miser abuses.
May we draw upon content for the defi,
cienciee of fortune.
May hope be thy pysician taco calamity
is the disease.
May the single be married, and married
happy•
Women are naturally afraid of r a t s.—
Whether some subtle instinct has establish
ed an enmity between them, or whether they
perceive that a desire for vengeance is. quite
reasonable, and to be expected on the part
of a rice agsiost whom they have so fatally
conspired, and for whose extermination they
have kept so many cats, traps, and other
deadly contrivances, I cannot undertake to
explain.
But it is an established foot that a woman
who will fly right in the lace of death, by
wearing tight corsets, thinsoled shoes, or
otherwise violating the laws of nature , and
common sense, will scream at the top of her
lungs, if she oes not go off into convulsions
or a fit of hysterics, at the sight of a common
sized rat.
BEAUTIFUL TU'OUGEITS —Beyond all ere.
dulity is the credulousness of the atheist,
who believes that chance could make a
world when it cannot build a barn. Be not
pi oud of riches, but afraid of them, lest they
be a silver bar to cross the way to heaves.—
You must answer for riches, but riches can
notl
answer for yo . There is hidden than.
der in the stores o heaven ready to burst
with burning wrat , and blast the man who
owes his greatness to the ruin of his neigh.
bor.
-'Are you the mate of the ship?' asked au
emigrant of the cook, who was an Iriebman.
IN° air ' was the nom!, tho man that
Croke the muter
NG, JANUARY 19, (871.
The Fighting Outside Paris.
The dreadful . aapeet of tho battlo•field out
side Paris, after the great sortie, is thui de•
scribed by a correspondent of the' London
Tbnes :
'One of the , great groups I caine upon
was composed of 60 French troldiers. • •A.•fedr
Saxons and Wirtembergers Faiareund them;
but the Germans had already? removed - and
laid in tbeir last sleeping-placel moat of °their
dead, The center of, the group was
,fertued
of a close line of 46. rou could not have
placed a body between any two. , ..Theyfchl
shoulder to shoulder, just as they had stood
to fire. By far the greater numbers of them
were on their backs, with their feet• to Pail's
and their heads to Villiers. Alas, it was pale
fully evident that many of them,, and of oth
ers whom I saw subsequently, had not died
. instantaneously, but bad lived probably ma•
ny hours without a hand to lend' them sue
cor,:and in piercing snow and frost. One
poor fellow lay on his face. He had two
rifle wounds in bin back.•' He had pattly
striped himself, and he died with a hand ea
each bullet-hole.' Several had taken off the;
knapsacks and placed them under their heads
and so pillowed breathed their last breath.
Others &audited their water bottles in• one
hand, but being unabled to remove the cork,
and died without being able to' wet their lips
in their agony. Some, in their ,sufferings,
had burrowed their faces in the, thick crap
on which they lay, and turned their_blood
and earth stained faces upward before they
expired.' Two I saw who had their arms
fixed and their fists clenched, as if, while dy
ing, they were engaged io a pugilistic an
_counter_Oaly_cery-few_were on their sides
These had their knapsacks under their heads.
_There_were_men__on ,whose faees_beamed the
smile of an infant, and whose countenances
were like handsome wax work. The'ex pros
-siert of.otbets was that of terrible agony.—
Every feature was contorted ; their legs had
_been convulsively . jerked up until their
knees stuck into their stomachs, arid their
finger and thumb nails had been squeezed
until they became riveted into the palms of
their hand. Behind, before, and at the corn
ers of this line of 46 dead men were others,
Saxon, and French- One had frightful
wound in the face. He had pulled his bands
up into his sleeves to warm them, but his
cap had fallen off, and tha hlood__elate4l-en
his hair till it was all in bloody mat. Near
him was another-who had taken a biscuit
from his knapsack and the bottle from . his
side, and had partaken of a little of both.,--
More than one of the plain had died with
the hands clasped in prayer; and near one I
found a little plaster medallion of the Bless•
ed Virgin. A portion of the - edge had been
shot off it The Chassepots and needle guns
were still in many a dead man's hand, and
lying between his arm and his body,
PROVERBS.-11ere is a bunch of proverbs:
Botrowed garments seldom' fit well.
Haste often trips up its own heels.
Men often blush to hear what they are
not ashamed to do.
What is not needed, is dear at any priee.
Ile who bays too many superfluities way
be obliged to sell his necessaries.
A fool generally looses his estate before
he finds his folly.
A man that hoards his riches and enjoys
them not is like an ass that carries gold and
oats thistles.
Towers are measured by their shadows,
and great men by their calumniators.
That man who knows the world will nev
er be impudent.
Success rides on every hour—grapple it,
and you may win : but without a grapple it
will never go with you.
Work is the weapon of honor, and he who
lacks the weapon will never triumph.
It was a saying of Socrates that every man
had need of a faithful friend and a bitter en•.
omy•—the one to advise, the other to show
him his faults.
CUARITY —Why then, my brethren, must
we be handing terrors which it i 3 not ours to
distribute, and set:Alin forth into the dark
these fearful guesses at judgment ? Why
must our feeble band be playing with the
lightning, and kiting loose the hurricane ?
Rather let us imitate God. Does lle brand
the heretic with his nurse ? Does He pour
the elements in fury around his dwelling ?
Does be set a mark on him, that any one
finding him may slay him ? Bee, the situ•
shine still smiles upon his roof ; the shower
still refreshes his field; the charities and
hopes of life are still poured upon his heart.
And cannot we cheer with our human love
the creatures whom our rather disdaineth
not to bless? Are we so sinless as to stand
apart io our holiness from the being pith
whom the Magisty of Heaven can °node
mod to dwell, whom Infinite Purity stoups
to cherish ? At least let us wait for the dis
closure of those Bono counsels which we
dare to scan. It will be time enough to hate
when God condemns, to shun when God
drivoth away. Be assured, my brethren, no
soul ever perished fat too mush charily.
WHERE HELL 13.—`1 wish to ask you a
question,' said Mr. Sharp to our youog
minister, as ho wet hint on the Street; •1 am
noxious to know where hell is. The Bible
I have rend—geographies, histories, and
other honks; and I Can't fad out whore it is
exactly,
The young minister, plain , his hand on
his eyes, replied eueouragingly, 'My dear sir,
don't be discouraged; lam sure yen will fled
it out after a ,white. As for my self I have
made no inquiries, and really don't wish to
know where-hell is. About heaven I have
thought, and read, and studied a great deal
wish to make that my home, and by the
help of We Lord 1 will. Ask me about, hen.
yen, and I can talk. I don't 'lLada , whore
hell is ) and you hadletter'not "find out:
A. !armed physicist announces that Chia
globe w 1 support life for 2Q,000,000 Team,
Sfatwoo Poor) 'Yee, .•
AlGentleman from Ireland,' employed ae•
a mason tender, procured from a.spring,
ter for his mortar; and by dipping a limo
bucket into the spring, caused the death of
two - pet geld fishes. When rebuked; .ho
drew himself up and repliedt'ls it the
"law.fiA ., ye nsaneY Bedud, sir,' Vd rather
base ono codfish than the pair °rem.'
A *Dathey returning from• ehureb, wane..
.Iccd to :givu account of the sermon. 'Well,
etihvde sermon wae, upon de mirscie ob de
loaves sod 'do fiihcs. De minister slid how
der was seven thousand loaves, an Sc'e• thotiti
and fishes, diwided between de twelve' pobt
los."Weil,wtrat miracle was there about
that?' Why; ash, de miracle was dat des
didn't , bust! dat's my perception:ob•de sac.-
eunistanco:
Da not be irbubled because you have on.
groat virtues. God made a million spires ef;
gross where he made one tree. The earth
is fringed-and carpeted, not with forests, but
grass Ooly have enough of little virtues
and Common fidelities, and you need no;
wourn because you are neither n saint nor
a hero.
The pinisio - nate are like men Blending on
thtlir heads, they see all thiogs the wrong
way.
A little eix•year.old was walking with his
father, and passing a church; the child asked:
What house is that?' 'That is the Dutch
Church,' was the reply; 'people go there -to
be good, so that they may become angels.'—
'Will there be Dutch angels, pa?' That child
should be sent to Sunday. school.
Ouo of the Gorman clothing dealers—i-o
Belfast, Me, ree4ntly sold a tutu a pair of
boots. A. few days atterwatds the man re•
turned with them, and said that he. wept a
little way, and the soles came off. •Mine Gott,
mine friend, you didn't ought to sulk round
mit dem. hey idh calvary boots, made to
ride infir—
Don't keep in a °instant fret abqut things
that may be annoying, or awry about things
you can't help. Troubles are net lightened
by fretting. The true remedy is to keop
cool and try to ma3ter cliffLittitias nod not let
them master you. ,
Meo'a lives should be like the day, more
beautiful in the evening, or like the summer,
glowing with promise, and the autumn, rich
with the golden sheaves where plod works
and deeds have ripened on the field,
Flax seed occasionally given to horses or
cattle, will wake them shed their old hair,
and whether old or young, soon get sleek.—
and fat. It is the only thing that will fatten
same old horses.
An English writer thiaks the American
early potatoes will come to an end ere long,
for as each new variety is claimed to ripen
about ten days earlier than any other, the
time between planting and digging will soon
be used up.
A VERY greedy boy—The one who recently
took the measels how his lade sister.
A GENTLEMAN passiag through a potato.
field ,observed an Irishman planting potatoes
lie inquired what kind he had there. 'Raw
ones, to be sure," replied the son of
• Erin;
'lf they were boiled, they wouldn't grow."
Smith looking over the fence of his friend
Tones late on Saturday afternoon, saw Jones
in the act 9f digging worms. 'Jones, " said
he, '1 hope you are not going to brea. the
Sabbath ?"No,' replied Jones, as be drew
out a fat fellow, '1 expect to make a whole
day of it . 4
•
. Virginia's oyster Enlace are wealthier titan
the silver ledges of Nevada. One. Norfolk
firm employs '1,500 hands to 'shook' the
oysters.
A man stopped at a hotel at Pike's Peak,
and on setting his bill the landlord charged
him 87 a day for five days. 'Didn't you
make a mistake?' said the guest. 'No' said
the landlord. 'You did,' retorted the wiry
looking follow. 'you thought you got all the
money I had, but you are mistaken. I base
a whole puree lull in - another pocket.
It is estimated that Paris, at the begin•
ning of the siege, contained more than 20,
000,000 rats ! This number is rapidlp de.-
creasing by their 'general use as food.
A Lady at Z-inesville, Ohio, in cleaning
house, found a package of two pounds of
powder, and- thinking it was )amp-black, aber
threw it on the fire. Het husband thinks
she escaped, as nothing bag been seen of her
since, except a piece of calico dross, whic4
was found on an apple tree in the orchard.
A lady who was acting as gratuitous a
maanonsis in writing a letter , . for-. a - lady
friend last week, had the impudence to
throw'the letter into tne fire whoa oearlg
finished, for the simple reason that the , lady
for whom•she was writing modestly request
el her to close the letter by saying theme
excuse bad spelling and writing.
4!tiiking a pug lady what her accomplish•
meats are is generally speaking, harmless e.
Dough. Still in these days, it might in some
ease cause embarrassment 31),Rut the tines..
don ) 'Do you paint?'
lan' must have occupaiiv; or be misera
ble. Toil is the price' of sleeracd appetite,
of health and enjoyment. The neceseit
which overcomes our uatare'a sloth' is a bits , . ; *.
-
Alluding , to chignons, NM- Clever said;
IA gill now seem all head. "Yen, till lola
talk to her e ' . growled Myer, -
4silltlßEß St