. , . .. .. ' . . , ~,L.A..... . . . , -' - k. - -........ 7-4,1„. , ,-, ..';' -, ..cirt:Z•• ---,,,,,,-. , •:-, • . ~ -:-i .• - - , .„... ;...r.,:,...,.. - ' -.; # 1# 3. , - ,:"Q•kr,; . • - .... , , )--, -, • . - , ~ ..., to ar .„ , , -,, ~,,, ~,, ,-,_ . . - - 1 - . ~ • • : to,:•.!. - ?'•:: 5 :', '.: i t—; • . ' ' , .., . ".% , ....., . , . . - • 4 1 •I'S'i V'‘'. . 4 ~t . :.,;;;...:-fr , •,:-..r. -, :7..'' •z i_ D . • . . •... _ , , r ___ . ~.,.,.::.,i A.,..„. .4' ‘ l. .I ,c• ' ' . . ) : 71 , .:,,,, . '..., , : . . .. . i ' . . . ' . . , A 0 ! , . • . ~ i . . • . . . • . , . . . , . . , . • . C L . , • ,5„, i_•.. T. ~• ,_ k .,-,,,,,,... .:•:,, ~ „.....4,,,,.....- •,_ • ~, .: ~.. .0.4 ~- - -- . . . . . ..,. , , r.i4.,-. --. :. - --4 , -.„-- - .... , .ii, ---, ---- . / .,F- , ..,:. -4i.... E , ~_ Tr,..„....... ~ _. , ; 1 / 4\ 1,--- , -,..f,....., 1 z7 , -_,_ „..._-_-_,.....,- ~....- - --- - v, : „..•7, , ,, . .--,..,-....--,. . -,-' ' - .' - '''•''' - ''' 4 '.&,..,.7- ; • , ,, , ,_,....,.„- - "I iro - , ''''''''''' . " 1 ": ~., .. ..1 . 4 - . .. ,_;......,..- . ,;,-...'„ -..--...- ,-...„ ..!.._,A.4.„. ...:1,.-1(..,.. !...,,,... - ... . ... . . I. 133 r IiAT. _Slaty*. VOLUME XXIII. old B ;Jn-o JUST THE THING VlllOll All MUST ILIVE 1 scarce. You should study your interest by supplying your mints at the first eliss store of C. N. BEAVER, North-east corner of the Diamond. He - doe.rbusiness on the only successful method, Viz: - by huyirfichis - goods - for - cash. The- ell.fogy ilea of buying goods at high prices and on long credits is EXPLODED. Call and examine our fine stock and don't be RUINEDj by Foy inw 20 per cent. too much f'or your goodg where. We Hilt chateligo he co,bunanty to show -11-A-TB,-all-of-the-very-latest_atylea_anil_t_o : su all, at E BOOTS, all kinds and prices at ' C. IV. BEAVER'S. 8111)ES, of every description for Alai',, Ladies', isces and Children's wear, at C. N. 13E VCR'S. CLOCKS, every one warranted an Sold by C. N. IW..at VER. TRUN KS. of all the very best manufacture, almo warranted and sul I by C. NT-B VALISES, of every kind, also very cheap, at C. N. BE II -VI'S, for Ladies Misses and Children, a fresh supply received every week and to4l' by C.N.I3EAVER. .Ni)TiONS, o lull line as follows. sold by - PIPER COLLARS. for Men and 13034 wear, the myst complete and filiebt assortment in town, by C. N.BEAVER. 1101-4ERY, of every kind, for sale, . I y C. N. BEAVER GLOVES, for Mtn and Boys wear, ac U. IS.. BE AVCR . S. SUSPENDERS, for Men and Boca wear, at C. N BEAVER'S, CANES AND UMDRELL AS, a compl-te stock at C. N. BE NVERI.S.- 13 ROOMS A ND BIZLI6II, of the Net) , best loud, at BAEVER'S, BACCO, to suit the taste of all, at C. N. BEAVER'S CIGARS, which cannot to beat. for sale bY C. N. Ifl SNUFF, which we chalene ar.y ours to excel in qua.a.!., for sale C. N. L'EAVER'S. LINK . and PAPER, of every Ocscr:pion. at C. IN. BE NVE WS. CANDIES, always fresh too, for sale, at C. BE;:►VER'S. SPICE:B, fir ■ale _ . CR ‘Clilillti, of every kind, at C.. N. BEAVER'S DI(il) BLUE, ('.Nat IIEAVER'ST CO NCENTR vr.ED LYE, for sole, at C. Ith,'A \TER'S. KEROSENE, of the vet) , teat,—Pius at U N. BEAVER'S. cHININLIIS Is.l, And many other articles not neccqsary to mention. Vie now hope that 'oq will give uv.o share of your peronage. We arc indeed. th )lilou Itr y ou for pact patronage, and Inpe a coot') tvalice of the .v.ame, and rem..);n fours truly, CLA REIS CE IC. BE kVER. Waynesboro . , June 2, 1870. The World Renowned MEDICINE Drs. D.Tahrney & eon's CELEBRATED PREP A_ WA TIO-N CLEANSING TIIIE r a l.ooD. \VILL CURE SCR')FULI;CUTANEOUS DISEASES, ERY tkIPEE.v3, BOILS, SoICE ENEs, SCALD • 11E1D, PIIIPLEs, and BIM NMI ES ON THE FACE, I'ET I ER AFFECTIONS, old ani STUBBORN ULCERs, MATIC Arrix !TINS. DYsPEP- Sll, COSI/A:ENE:is', SICK II EA D AIS-1) E , SALT itHEUM,J AUNDICE, Ca:NERAL OE CHILES AND FEVER, FOUL. EsTOMACII, TOGETti ER with Al.l. OTH ER DISEASES ARL-INU FROM IMPURE BLOOD AM) DIsORDEILED TRY ONE BOTTLE OR PACKAGE And be convinced that this inetlitir.c is nu humbug Sold by all Druggists. • ' Drs. D. Fahrney & Son's Preparat ion fur Cleans ing the Blood is COUNTIMFEI D. The gen uine has the wins "D. FA HEN Y & SON" on the front of the outside wripper of each bottle. and the name of lire L. r ahrncy & Sun's !'reparation for Cleansing the Blood, Boonsbero, Md., blown in each bottle. All others are COUP); FERFDIT. Rec ollect that it is lire. I). Febrile* & Son's Celebrated Preparatiiin for Cleansing the Blood that is so uni versally used, and so highly recommended ; at.d du not allow the Druggist to induce ynu to take any thing slue that they may say ,is just the same or as good, because they mike a large profit on it. PRE PA 11111 I) BY Drs. D. .FA lIRNE (f. 7 SON, 1300NsitOli0,Mll.., And Dr. P. D. Fahrney, If.Odysville, Nd Be sure to get tho genuine. None genuine tin ter' signed L. FA.HRNBY & SON. Sold by Dr J. D. AlittlißSON ; 1,7 nynesbero ; Dr. J. BURVIOLDBR, E B WINGZ.I ; Qtlitlry ; FILED 3 Brimitx, Shady tlrove. June 30- limos] I've_wandeted fir o'er many lands, I've mingled with the gay ; • Fve,liatened to the joyous song - - To-drive-dull core away-; "et, 'mid_thege beauteous secnee ofeertti, C. N. BEAVER'S One serene evening in the middle of Au gust, 1775 Captain Warrens, the master of the ship Greenland, whale ship, found hina • self becalmed among an immense number of icebergs, in shout 77° 1 of North latitude.— On one side, and within a mile of the vessel, these were of immense height and closely wedged together ; and a succession of snow covered peaks appeared behind each other as far as the eye could reach, showing that the ocean was completely loek.td in that quarter, and that it had probably been so for a long period of time. Captain Warrens did not feel satisfied with his situation, but there be ing no wind, he could not move either cne way or the other, and be therefore kept a strict watch, knowing that he would be safe as long as the icAterg,s o tt.t uued in there re spective places A bout midnight the wind arose to a gale, accompanied by thick showers of snow, while a succession of thundering, gr:nOing and crashing noises gave fearful evidences that the ice was in motion. The vessel received C N IIEAVL•'R'S WA fNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTI, PENNSYLVANIA, TIIUR,SDAY MORNING, DECEMBER I, 1870. P4COMPPICI.BL. MY Bolllooll'3 MOMS, How sweet it is to dwell upon Those happy days of yore, Recalling scenes that we on earth, Shall see again no more ! To think of boyhood's happy home— I , t.ome o ear eig When memory fondly flies to thee, The past appears so bfght. . --014-often in-this-world of care- My heart to memory flies; I think of parents dear, who're now With angels in the skies. A brother's laughing voice was there, A sister's look of tov , A paradise this earth appeared, -Descended from above. A mother's kiss—a father's smile, I feel their influence yet ; Tune may rol. on and memory NI, —Yet-these--1-can't-forget -This world to me bright-ofrerin-p-brought And fortune's on npo emir ; Yet, all these things I'd freely give To be again a child. W hereverl may roam, I find no pleasure to compare With boyhood's happy home LOO& AT LIFE CIEViIf,T. BY 13ELITYN S STELLIF. Look at liie:cheerily, Whate'ar t'iy To he, Though ever drearily Lire looks at thee, ' Walk hot through the night-lows, Despondingly„ wearily, .shalc , ..t off the t t ef-Jrops-- Look at I,fe cheerily ! Sovereign or peasant, Whoever thou art, Darkness around thee, Fight in thy h art,. See sorrow's winter Vanishing Spring's heralds singing, Look at life cheerily ! THE FROZEN SHIP. violent shocks every moment, fVF . the , ness of the atmosphere prevented those on board from discovering in what di , eotion the open water lay, or if there actually was any at all on either side of them. The night was spent in tacking as'often as any cause of dart ger happened to present itself ; and in the morning the storm abated, and Captain War rens found to his great joy that his ship had not sustained any serious injury, lle re marked, with surprise, that the accumulated icebergs which had on the preceding evening formed an impenetrable barrier, had been separated and disailanged by the wind, and that in one place a canal of open sea wound its course among them away in the distance It was two miles beyond the coffin:tee of this canal that a ship made its appearance a bout noon to the great-astonishment of the crew of the Greenland. The sun shone bright ly at the time, and a gentle breeze. blew from the North. At first some intervening ice bergs prevented Captain Warrens from die tinctly seeing anything but her masts; but he was struck with the strange manner in which her sails were disposed, and with the dismanteled aspect of her yards and rigging; She continued to go twine the wind for a few furlongs, and then grounding upon the low icebergs, remained motionless. Captain Warrens' curiosity was so much excited that he immediately leaped into his boat with several seamen, and rowed towards her. On approaching, he observed that her hull wes miserably wester-beaten, and not' a soul appeared on the deck, which was eciv. ered with snow to a great depth. Lie hailed the crew several times, but no answer was returned. Previous to stepping on board, an open port bole near the main chain caught bid eye, and on looking into it he perceived a mad reclining back in a chair, with writing material on a table before bim, but the fee. Weness of the light wade everything very .11.23. Xiac9.ferocal3cletrxt V I ELI32II3r Newspaper. indistinct. The patty went upon the deck, aid, harlot: removed the hatch away they eon closed, they descendedtoth — emibin.--= They first c sine to the apartment which Cap tain Warrens viewed through the port-bole. A tremor seized him as he entered it. Its inmate retained its former position, and seemed to be insensible to strangers. He was found to be a corpse, and a peen, damp mould had covered his cheeks and forehead, and veiled his open eye balls." Ile had a pen in his hand, and a log book lay before him, the last sentence in whose 'unfinished page ran thus : "Nov. 14,1762.—We have now been enclosed in a a. The tire went out ester day. Our master s wbe to t s • " Captain Warrens and his seamen hurried from &be spot without uttering a word. On entering the principal cabin the first object that attracted their attention was the—dead-I body of a female, relining on aped in an at- titude of deep interest and attention. Iler countenance retained the freshness of life, 1 and a contraction of the limbs showed that lia - fernyvnts - inaniarateeated - on - the - flocie- I was the corpse of an apparently young man, holding a steel in one hand and a Int in the ether, as if' in the act of striking fire upon some timber which lay beside him. In the fore part of the vessel several sailirs were found lying dead in their berths, and the -body-of-a-ay-was-seen_crouUhed at tho hot -tow of- the-gangway-stairs,— Neither_provis, -ions-nor-fuel-could-be-discotered anywhere, but Captain Warrens ,was Prevented by the superstitious prejudices of , his seamen, from examining the vessel as ruiliutely as he wish ed to have done. Ile therefore carried away the logbook already mentioned, returned to hi 4 Gave ship, and immediately steered to the southward, deeply impressed with the exam; pie which he had just witnessed— Protect Your Eyesight. Milton's blindness was the result of over work and dyspepsia. One of the most emi nent American divines, having for some time been compelled to forego the pleasure of reading spent thousands of dollars iu value, and lost years of time in consequence of get ting up several hours before sunrise, and studying by artificial light. his eyes never' got well, Multitudes of men and women have made their eyes weak for life by the too free um of the eyesight, reading small print, and do ing flue sewing. In view of these things, it is well to observe the following rules in the use of the eyes Avoid all sudden changes between light and darkness Never read by twilight, or moonlight or on a stormy day. Never sleep so that on waking the eyes shall opeTaim the light of a window. lla D'll use—clici eyesight by light so scant that it requires an effort to d saiminate. Never rend or sew directly in hoot of, the light or window or door. It is best to have the light fall from above obliquely over the left shoulder.? Too much light creates a glare, and pains nod coliftuics the sight.. The moment you are sensible 01 an effort to distinguish, that moment cease, and talk, walk or ride. As the sky is blueand the earth green, it would seem that the coiling should be a blu ish tinge, the carpet green, and the walls of some mellow tint The moment you are instinctively prompt ed to rub the eyes, that moment cease 'sing them. If the eyelids are Oiled together on wa• king up, do not forcibly open them, but ap ply the saliva with the fingftr—itis the spee- diest diluteut in the world—and then wash your bands and face in warm water. On a certain Sabbath evening • some twen ty•live years ago, a reckless ill•dressed young man was idly lounging under the elm trees in the public square of Worcester. lle had became a wiciched waif on the current of sin. Ills days were spent in the waking re morse of a drunkard; his nights arere pass cd in the buffuonerics of the drinking house As he sauntered along, out of humor with himself and mankind . , a stranger tapped his shoulder, and in cordial tones said, 'Mr Gough, go doer] to our meeting at the town /ball to night.' A brief conversation follow ed, so writming in its character that the reck less youth consented to go Ile went; ho heard the appeals there ulna.. With trem ulous bands he signed the pledge of Total. Abstinence. 13y God's help he kept it, and he keeps it yet. The poor boot crimper, who tapped him on the shoulder (good Joe Stratton) has lately gone to heaven, but the youth saved is to-day the foremost of the reformers on the face of the globe Somo• times when I listen to the thunders •of ap plause that greet John B. Gough on the platform of Ester Hall or the Academy of Music, it seems to me, .1 am hearing the echo of that tap on the shoulder, and of that kind invitation under the ancient elms of Worcester. 'lle that winneth souls is wise.' AT NlGlT.—liere is one of Thackery's pleasant touches : 'it is night now; and here is home. Gath ered under the quiet roof, elders and chi!. dren he alike at rest. Io the midst of a great peace and calm, the stars peep out from the heavens. The silence is peopled by the past, sorrowful remotses for sins and shortoomings, memories of passionate joys and griefs rise out of their graves, but now alike calm and sad. Eyes, as I shut mine, look at me that have long ceased to shine.— The town and fair landscape sleep under the starlight wreathed is the autumn mists,— Twinghog among the houses A light keeps watch here and there, in *hat may be a sick chamber or two. The cluck tolls sweetly io the silent air. Here is night at rest. AO awful sense of thanks make the heart swell, and the bead bow, as I pass to my room through the sleeping house, and .feel as a blessing was aeon 'it, Wesley's Preaching 'lt was, I believe in October, 1790, and ~loog~efore Lis th i —th at—Lb eard4ohn_ Wesley in the great round meeting-house at Colchester. Ile stood in a wide pulpit * and on each side stood, a miciiater, and the two held him up; begin. , their hands under his armpits. Ilia feeble voice was barely audi• ble. But his reverend countenance, espe cially his ling white locks, formed a picture• never to be forgotten. There was a vast crowd of lovers and admirers. It was, for the most part, pantomime, but the panto mime went to the heart.- 01 the kind, I never saw anything comparable to it in after n • ver for otten h. Robinson. lie Often re ate. it at is o• IT table, with the addition that so greatly was Wesley reverenced that the people stood in double line to see him an he passed through - th - e - streets - on-his way to the chard. In a letter writen at the time to one of his broth. ers, he gave the following particulars of the same occurrence:—'At another time, and not knowing the men, I should almost have rid urm—Far-fro mit_a o_w_. I look upon him with a respect borderino• ' on en thusiasm. After the people had sung a verse- of a hymn he arose and said : /It gives me great pleasure to find that you have not lost your singing. Neither men nor wo- men—you have not forgot a single note.- -And_Lho le b. the assistarce of the same -God who_enables you fo sing well, you may do all- other things well.' A .universal—c-A men' followed. At the' end of every head or division of his discourse, he finished by a kind of prayer, a momentary wish, as it were, not consisting of more than three or four words, which were always followed by a universal t utz His discourse was short, the teat I could not hear. After the last prayer he arose - and addressed the people up on fibers-I+ly of timeut,tuid_Erlke moo against refusing to j tin with any congrega tion on account of difference of opinion.— lle said, 'lf they do but fear God, work righteousness, and keep his commandments, we have nothing to objlct to.— Diary of ll C. Rotanson. Droll Russian Proverbs. Every lox praises his own tail Go after two wolves and you will not even catch one. A good beginni!.►g is half the work. Trust in God, but do not stumble yourilelf. With God, even cross the sea; without ❑lm, not even to the threshold. Without cheating, no trading. Money is not God, but it shows great mercy. The deeper you bide anything, the sooner you find it. 11 God don't forsake us; the pigs will not take us. A debt is adorned by payment. Roguery is the last of trades Never take a crooked Fath whileyou see a straight one. Fear not tb-e--threats of the great, but lather the tears of the poor. Ask a pig to dinner, and he will put hie feet on tlio tale Disease conies in by hundred weights and goes out by ounces. , An old friend is worth two new ones. lie praised not for your ancestors, but for your virtues. When ft)h are rare, even' a crab is a fi3b A farther's blessing cannot be drowned in water nor consumed by fire A mother's prayer will draw up from the depth of the sea. DEGRADATION OF SWEARING.-IN is DO mark of a gentleman to swear. The most worthless and vile, the refuse of mankind, the drunkard and the prostitute swear, as well as the best dressed and educated gentle man. No particular endowments ate retluir• ed to give a finish to the art as cursing.— The basest and meanest of Ananitind swear with as much tact and skill as the most re fined; and he that wishes to degrade him self to the lowest level of pollution and shame should learn to be a common swearer. Any man has talents ehouo to learn to nurse God, and imprecate perdition on themselves and their fellow men. No man is the richer, or wiser, or happier for it: it helps no one's education or manners. It commends no one to any sleiety. It is disgusting to the refined, abominable to she good, degra ding to the mind; unprofitable, needless, and injurious to society; and wantonly to profane His name, to call His vengeance down, to curse him, and to invt.lte His vengence, is perhaps ()call agencies the most awful in sight of God. FLOWERS —Botanists term a bright, blue eyed flower 'Forget me not,' but every heart has its own 'Forget me not.' To the cold, weary-hearted statesman, who has climbed fame's dizzy height, the simple white rose meals the bush that grew by his father's door, and his heart feels the old thrill as be remembers the bud that he culled and fasten ed in Jessie's curls. Some of the greatest minds of earth have felt the influence of those memory keys. Napoleon often spoke tenderly' of his father's garden in Corsica.— The Medean Queen of Nebuchadnezzar pined so sadly for the hills and flowers of her child hood's home that the hanging gardens of Bab ylon wore reared to comfort her A gerani. um always blooined in the library of the groat statesman, Fos; it bad been his mother's fa vorite flower. Pope, when almost crazed by the keen shafts of Lady Nary•and Lord Her. vey, would retire to his seat near a violet bed. W Win a loved and loving child, one corner in his tiny garden was appropriated to v ‘ io • lets. , Au ill•bamored English wife, abusing her , lord on account of his mercenary disposition, told him if she was dead be would marry Satan's daughter if be could got anything by it. 'That's true,' 'but the worst of it is, in Enema(' one CIO% marry two sisters. , An Assassi'n's Story. A murder ewe California whieti tout :tot been decided by the murderers beiDg sent to the State Pails's' for lira, preeeuts all the details of a romance Ais Italian wo man wished to got rid of her 4 ltichand, and an Italian named Brum wss hired to com mit the act. The as4aa•sin wa4 followed up and captured and this is Ole story told Brusercs'a confession reveabd him to be one of the blackest seeundrtels_oa - earth He said that before canning to America from It aly he had followed this profession of an as sassin, and had put , en Bull to the exi6tenea of more than one perono, and had been fore ed to leave by tbe discovery of one of his - 11 - e -- ta-m:1-513— , - Sin he had kept out of serapes until Piz inn broached the murder of L-ic•ari. lie was only offered $3O at first, but by dint of hard bargaining had run it up to $8 more, and for 838 he agreed to murder a man who had, ag he said, been a warm friend to him The plan of ambush was agreed upon, an well as locality, and on the appointed day he repaired to the 'Long Rock.' When the the guiltywile - i - Cod nod - huiband appeared - , and had reached a convenient distance, he stepped from his place of concealment, and as be did so the wife ran from the husband's side. When the unfortunate man saw how he had been betrayed, he began to plead to Mazzo for his life Brun stated that he atmostyieldedi-and-was-about-to-throw-down the gun, - when the woman-called-him a cow ard; and screamed, 'Shoot shoot ! you cow ard And with that lie raked the weapon and fired, - his.victim falling dead with an ag onizsd groan. lie said that ho was than treated treacherously by Piz MO, who only paid him $26 arid to the end he contended Pismo was only fit, to be hung because she, bad't paid the remaining twelve dollars. — Aa TA L K - ATRI - 1111 - 613 s • palatable bee trk.e it is true, and can be vouch • ed for, took place it lew Sundays since at one of the prominent New Jersey churches It seems that a worthly deacon had been very industrious in selling a new church book, costing seventy 6ve cents. At' the service in question, the minister, jut before dismiss ing, the cmgregation, rote and said:—'Ali you who have children to biptin will please present them next Sabbath ' The Liman, who, 'by the way, was a little deaf, having ad eye to selling the books, and supposing his pastor wos referring to them, immediate ly jumped up and shouted, 'And all you Who haven't any cal get as many as you want by coiling on me, at seventy fire cents each.' The preacher looked cros's•eycd at the brothers, the brothers locked at the clergy man; the audience punched the audicoca in the side, the bubble grew larger until it burnt into a long guffaw; ladies colored up, crimsoned, blushed, and thanked the lord for the low price of peopling the earth. There was no benediction that morning worth Eplak. log of. Tbe deacon, after he had found out his mistake changed his pew from the front of church to the third from the roar; and though he cannot hear the terruon, he is consoled with the thought that the young ladies can't snicker at him, A REMARKABLE DrscovEßY.—By many it has boon held es a theoty that the Yuma desert was once an ocean bed. At intervals pools of salt water ,have stood for a while in the midst of the surrounding waste of sand, disappearing only to rise again in the same or other localities. A short time since ens of these saline lakes disappeared, and a par ty of Indians reported the discovery of a 'big ship' laft by the receding waters. A, party of Americans at once proceeded to the spot and found imbedded in the sands the wreck of a large vessel. Nearly one third of the forward part of the ship or barque is plainly visible. The stump of the bow sprit remains, and portiAs of the timbers of the deck are perfect. The wreck is located fur. ty miles north of the San Bernadine and Fort Yuma road, and thirty miles west of Los Palma, a well known watering place on IliTt — deaert. The road across the desert has been traveled far more than one hundred years. The history of the ill fated vessel can of course never be known, but the dis covery of its decaying timbers, in the midst of what has long been a desert, will furnish sevens with food for discussion, and may per- haps furnish itnportant aid in the elucidation of questions of science. TFIE Two HEADED AND FOUR-LEOOED WOMAN. —There is now on exhibition at the Fair Grounds in Columbus, Ga , the most wonderful freak of nature ever presented to the world. It consists of a negro girl, or as some would say, a pair of girls, aged 18 years. The person or persons has two perfectly de veloped heads and bodies down to the waist, where the tws spines and bodies become blen ded into one solid body. .On each body aro two perfect arms and bands, of which each has fall and natural use. She has four per featly formed and well developed legs and feet, on which she moves actively. She can walla, and dance a quadrille She was born a slave, the property of Mrs. Smith, in Co lumbus, Robeson county, North Carolina, who tenderoly oared for and raised and edu. cated her. bhe is intelligent and can and does hold converse with twa.persons at the same time. 'She is cheerful, and most de iotely attached to Mrs. Smith. What is singu lar, though she appears from the col' the skin to be of pure negftillOod, she latlitra't black hair.— Co/umbusfailun. A young lady having called out an ugly gentleman, at the condescantion, and believ ing that she was in love with him, desired to know why she selected him from the rest of the company. 'Because, sir, replied the lady, 'my briabaod commanded me to select snob a partner as ilhould not give him cause for jealousy: 62.00 No or lEr ova.* "Hug's, I've*Got You Now!" Some years ago, an eocentrie genius Hunt, used to give teineer•tnce lectures.— ate night he announced that-ho-would. lee. tore in E lston Now, temperance was not in favor arrilrig, the mole p irti tin ef, that 'burg, Too Women, however, were al in for the pledge,' and consequently nn flunt'a first night not a man showed himaelf at the hall. The twitches were pretty well tided with wo men, though, - and Hunt cornmonsed, hut in stead of teriapo-ranee, ho put them through, on the vanities of dress, etc. They wore great stuffed feather sleeves then They (the- sleeves)caught it, and their tight and so on thro' the whole Intalogal of fa. And the ladies welt Immo hoppine" tuA told their hulbands about it, and voted old' Hunt dowin to the lowest notch. lie had announced that he would lecture nt the same place the nest night Long be. fore the time appointed they commenced to come, and when Iluot hohb'ed down the ahle, the building was cornfortithlv well if I. od with moo Too old fellow c - litieldelrold — omt - cred7-41:vs,__Lve got_ you• now!' The audience started. 'Abe, hogs, I're got you now!' After the crowd had got quiet a little, the the lecture arose and said: •Prienda, you wanted to know what t mean by saying, 'Hoes, I've got you now,' and tell you, Out, 'West, the hogs run wild-,--and when_talke _get out of meat they catch-a -young pig, put a_strap under his body and - hitch him to a young sapling that will jost swing him I rom rhe ground nicely. Ot o Jurse he squeals and raises a rumpus when all the old hogs gather around to see what's the matter, and then they shoot them at leisure. List night I hung a pig up; hurt it a little, and it squealed. The old bogs blve-tvried out to-night to nee the fun, and 1 - 1 . - roast—you j amil-so-het--did, their favorite vice with a relish and guesto that can only be appreciated by ore who has hem) 'o.d King Alcohol' put through dur iug'.4(3 or 47. CONQUER YOUR TROU BLES.—A grant many mon, whatever may have been their experience in life, ore accustomed to cum plain of the usage they have received in the world. They fill the ears of those who havo.the_ mit fortune to be their Needs, with lamenta tions respecting their own freebies. But theta is no man that is not k or() into a world of trouble; and no man has ever attained to anything like the stature of manhood, who has not been ground, as it were, to row der, by the hardships which lie has enc.ium , tered in I.fe. This is a world in which men are made, not by velvet but by stone and iron handling! Therefore, do not grum• We, but conquer your troubles. LL. Alen may be mire liberal and just than _women, but — fifef very rarely take a wtlmart tor a wife unless they believe her to he chaste as ice and pure as snow. Their sense of pu• rity in respect. to the woman they, marry is exquisitely delicate. They aro not satisfied with the natural purity and goodness of the -woman, but her good name must he • above reproach If women were as careful in amis. tng their husbands, we think there would be fewer marriages, pr lees a wonderful refor• mation would be begun. It is presumed.that the coming woman will order these things different. 'What are you disturbing, the whole how() with your yel:s in this way for,' demanded a Saratoga landlard of a guest whom he found late at night seemingly in active pursuit of invisible toes, and yelling at the top of his voice. 'l'm shouting the battle•cry of flea dotp,' answered the guest, as ho went ahead with his search and his jells. A man, while a o.lllce:bn wait taking to aid (be heathen, pocketed all the money en the plate. When mked to explaie his coo• duet, he replied"that he was the greatest heathen in that part of the country. - 'Are you alarmed at the approach of tho _Kin_ of_Terrors ?' said the 'minister to a sick man. 'Oh, no! I )vc been living six and• .thirty years with t queen of tenors— the king cannot be much worse I.' e Woes() are a queer people to go to market. A friend at an Francisco writes that a rieighbor of his had just laid in his %inters - provisions—a hind (lustier of a hotse. and two barrels of bull dugs. u acked Julia if ;he would have him. 'No,' said she, '1 tsi.t uot have sou: rut hc... fore John could recover from the shock, she archly put in, 'but you may have me William Rowe was arrested in a western• town the other day for beating his wile with a hoe— as if a man hadn't a right to hoe his own Rowe. The measles are in Brigham Young's fam• ily. It is unnecessary to add that there are not enough to go around, and several duns are left without a measlo. r The eeosus taker in a certain city asked a woman the age of her oldest child, and the reply was 'You have come around about. a mouth too aeon • Miss Prim, of doubtful ego, said she is a, fort that never will surrender. We are a fraid she is too well forty•fied. The story of a man who bad a nose so, Large that be couldo't blow it without the use of gunpowder, •is sail to bea hoax. 'Father will settle the bill' is $ BOW song. It is popular with young ladies. The product of pale brandy is often lb. • ► S OM. A liotti to the wise—Remain ter firM DER 24