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I.
133 r IiAT. _Slaty*.
VOLUME XXIII.
old B ;Jn-o
JUST THE THING
VlllOll All MUST ILIVE 1
scarce. You should study your interest by
supplying your mints at the first eliss store of C.
N. BEAVER, North-east corner of the Diamond.
He - doe.rbusiness on the only successful method,
Viz: - by huyirfichis - goods - for - cash. The- ell.fogy
ilea of buying goods at high prices and on long
credits is
EXPLODED.
Call and examine our fine stock and don't be
RUINEDj
by Foy inw 20 per cent. too much f'or your goodg
where. We Hilt chateligo he co,bunanty to show
-11-A-TB,-all-of-the-very-latest_atylea_anil_t_o : su all,
at E
BOOTS, all kinds and prices
at ' C. IV. BEAVER'S.
8111)ES, of every description for Alai',, Ladies',
isces and Children's wear,
at
C. N. 13E VCR'S.
CLOCKS, every one warranted an Sold
by C. N. IW..at VER.
TRUN KS. of all the very best manufacture,
almo warranted and sul I
by C. NT-B
VALISES, of every kind, also very cheap,
at C. N. BE
II -VI'S, for Ladies Misses and Children, a fresh
supply received every week and to4l'
by C.N.I3EAVER.
.Ni)TiONS, o lull line as follows. sold
by -
PIPER COLLARS. for Men and 13034 wear,
the myst complete and filiebt assortment in town,
by C. N.BEAVER.
1101-4ERY, of every kind, for sale, .
I y C. N. BEAVER
GLOVES, for Mtn and Boys wear,
ac U. IS.. BE AVCR . S.
SUSPENDERS, for Men and Boca wear,
at C. N BEAVER'S,
CANES AND UMDRELL AS, a compl-te stock
at
C. N. BE NVERI.S.-
13 ROOMS A ND BIZLI6II, of the Net) , best
loud, at BAEVER'S,
BACCO, to suit the taste of all,
at C. N. BEAVER'S
CIGARS, which cannot to beat. for sale
bY
C. N. Ifl
SNUFF, which we chalene ar.y ours to excel in
qua.a.!., for sale
C. N. L'EAVER'S.
LINK . and PAPER, of every Ocscr:pion.
at C. IN. BE NVE WS.
CANDIES, always fresh too, for sale,
at C. BE;:►VER'S.
SPICE:B, fir ■ale _ .
CR ‘Clilillti, of every kind,
at C.. N. BEAVER'S
DI(il) BLUE,
('.Nat IIEAVER'ST
CO NCENTR vr.ED LYE, for sole,
at C. Ith,'A \TER'S.
KEROSENE, of the vet) , teat,—Pius
at U N. BEAVER'S.
cHININLIIS Is.l,
And many other articles not neccqsary to mention.
Vie now hope that 'oq will give uv.o share of your
peronage. We arc indeed. th )lilou Itr y ou for pact
patronage, and Inpe a coot') tvalice of the .v.ame,
and rem..);n fours truly,
CLA REIS CE IC. BE kVER.
Waynesboro . , June 2, 1870.
The World Renowned
MEDICINE
Drs. D.Tahrney & eon's
CELEBRATED
PREP A_ WA TIO-N
CLEANSING TIIIE r a l.ooD.
\VILL CURE
SCR')FULI;CUTANEOUS DISEASES, ERY
tkIPEE.v3, BOILS, SoICE ENEs, SCALD •
11E1D, PIIIPLEs, and BIM NMI ES ON
THE FACE, I'ET I ER AFFECTIONS,
old ani STUBBORN ULCERs,
MATIC Arrix !TINS. DYsPEP-
Sll, COSI/A:ENE:is',
SICK II EA D AIS-1) E , SALT
itHEUM,J AUNDICE, Ca:NERAL OE
CHILES AND FEVER, FOUL.
EsTOMACII, TOGETti ER with Al.l. OTH
ER DISEASES ARL-INU FROM IMPURE
BLOOD AM) DIsORDEILED
TRY ONE BOTTLE OR PACKAGE
And be convinced that this inetlitir.c is nu humbug
Sold by all Druggists.
• '
Drs. D. Fahrney & Son's Preparat ion fur Cleans
ing the Blood is COUNTIMFEI D. The gen
uine has the wins "D. FA HEN Y & SON" on
the front of the outside wripper of each bottle. and
the name of lire L. r ahrncy & Sun's !'reparation
for Cleansing the Blood, Boonsbero, Md., blown in
each bottle. All others are COUP); FERFDIT. Rec
ollect that it is lire. I). Febrile* & Son's Celebrated
Preparatiiin for Cleansing the Blood that is so uni
versally used, and so highly recommended ; at.d du
not allow the Druggist to induce ynu to take any
thing slue that they may say ,is just the same or as
good, because they mike a large profit on it.
PRE PA 11111 I) BY
Drs. D. .FA lIRNE (f. 7 SON,
1300NsitOli0,Mll..,
And Dr. P. D. Fahrney, If.Odysville, Nd
Be sure to get tho genuine. None genuine tin
ter' signed L. FA.HRNBY & SON.
Sold by Dr J. D. AlittlißSON ; 1,7 nynesbero ; Dr.
J. BURVIOLDBR, E B WINGZ.I ; Qtlitlry ; FILED 3
Brimitx, Shady tlrove.
June 30- limos]
I've_wandeted fir o'er many lands,
I've mingled with the gay ;
• Fve,liatened to the joyous song
- - To-drive-dull core away-;
"et, 'mid_thege beauteous secnee ofeertti,
C. N. BEAVER'S
One serene evening in the middle of Au
gust, 1775 Captain Warrens, the master of
the ship Greenland, whale ship, found hina •
self becalmed among an immense number of
icebergs, in shout 77° 1 of North latitude.—
On one side, and within a mile of the vessel,
these were of immense height and closely
wedged together ; and a succession of snow
covered peaks appeared behind each other as
far as the eye could reach, showing that the
ocean was completely loek.td in that quarter,
and that it had probably been so for a long
period of time. Captain Warrens did not
feel satisfied with his situation, but there be
ing no wind, he could not move either cne
way or the other, and be therefore kept a
strict watch, knowing that he would be safe
as long as the icAterg,s o tt.t uued in there re
spective places
A bout midnight the wind arose to a gale,
accompanied by thick showers of snow, while
a succession of thundering, gr:nOing and
crashing noises gave fearful evidences that
the ice was in motion. The vessel received
C N IIEAVL•'R'S
WA fNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTI, PENNSYLVANIA, TIIUR,SDAY MORNING, DECEMBER I, 1870.
P4COMPPICI.BL.
MY Bolllooll'3 MOMS,
How sweet it is to dwell upon
Those happy days of yore,
Recalling scenes that we on earth,
Shall see again no more !
To think of boyhood's happy home—
I , t.ome o ear eig
When memory fondly flies to thee,
The past appears so bfght. .
--014-often in-this-world of care-
My heart to memory flies;
I think of parents dear, who're now
With angels in the skies.
A brother's laughing voice was there,
A sister's look of tov ,
A paradise this earth appeared,
-Descended from above.
A mother's kiss—a father's smile,
I feel their influence yet ;
Tune may rol. on and memory NI,
—Yet-these--1-can't-forget
-This world to me bright-ofrerin-p-brought
And fortune's on npo emir ;
Yet, all these things I'd freely give
To be again a child.
W hereverl may roam,
I find no pleasure to compare
With boyhood's happy home
LOO& AT LIFE CIEViIf,T.
BY 13ELITYN S STELLIF.
Look at liie:cheerily,
Whate'ar t'iy To he,
Though ever drearily
Lire looks at thee, '
Walk hot through the night-lows,
Despondingly„ wearily,
.shalc , ..t off the t t ef-Jrops--
Look at I,fe cheerily !
Sovereign or peasant,
Whoever thou art,
Darkness around thee,
Fight in thy h art,.
See sorrow's winter
Vanishing
Spring's heralds singing,
Look at life cheerily !
THE FROZEN SHIP.
violent shocks every moment, fVF . the ,
ness of the atmosphere prevented those on
board from discovering in what di , eotion the
open water lay, or if there actually was any
at all on either side of them. The night was
spent in tacking as'often as any cause of dart
ger happened to present itself ; and in the
morning the storm abated, and Captain War
rens found to his great joy that his ship had
not sustained any serious injury, lle re
marked, with surprise, that the accumulated
icebergs which had on the preceding evening
formed an impenetrable barrier, had been
separated and disailanged by the wind, and
that in one place a canal of open sea wound
its course among them away in the distance
It was two miles beyond the coffin:tee of
this canal that a ship made its appearance a
bout noon to the great-astonishment of the
crew of the Greenland. The sun shone bright
ly at the time, and a gentle breeze. blew from
the North. At first some intervening ice
bergs prevented Captain Warrens from die
tinctly seeing anything but her masts; but
he was struck with the strange manner in
which her sails were disposed, and with the
dismanteled aspect of her yards and rigging;
She continued to go twine the wind for a
few furlongs, and then grounding upon the
low icebergs, remained motionless.
Captain Warrens' curiosity was so much
excited that he immediately leaped into his
boat with several seamen, and rowed towards
her. On approaching, he observed that her
hull wes miserably wester-beaten, and not' a
soul appeared on the deck, which was eciv.
ered with snow to a great depth. Lie hailed
the crew several times, but no answer was
returned. Previous to stepping on board, an
open port bole near the main chain caught
bid eye, and on looking into it he perceived
a mad reclining back in a chair, with writing
material on a table before bim, but the fee.
Weness of the light wade everything very
.11.23. Xiac9.ferocal3cletrxt V I ELI32II3r Newspaper.
indistinct. The patty went upon the deck,
aid, harlot: removed the hatch away they
eon closed, they descendedtoth — emibin.--=
They first c sine to the apartment which Cap
tain Warrens viewed through the port-bole.
A tremor seized him as he entered it. Its
inmate retained its former position, and
seemed to be insensible to strangers. He was
found to be a corpse, and a peen, damp mould
had covered his cheeks and forehead, and
veiled his open eye balls." Ile had a pen in
his hand, and a log book lay before him, the
last sentence in whose 'unfinished page ran
thus :
"Nov. 14,1762.—We have now been enclosed in
a a. The tire went out ester
day. Our master s wbe to t s •
" Captain Warrens and his seamen hurried
from &be spot without uttering a word. On
entering the principal cabin the first object
that attracted their attention was the—dead-I
body of a female, relining on aped in an at-
titude of deep interest and attention. Iler
countenance retained the freshness of life, 1
and a contraction of the limbs showed that
lia - fernyvnts - inaniarateeated - on - the - flocie- I
was the corpse of an apparently young man,
holding a steel in one hand and a Int in the
ether, as if' in the act of striking fire upon
some timber which lay beside him. In the
fore part of the vessel several sailirs were
found lying dead in their berths, and the
-body-of-a-ay-was-seen_crouUhed at tho hot
-tow of- the-gangway-stairs,— Neither_provis,
-ions-nor-fuel-could-be-discotered anywhere,
but Captain Warrens
,was Prevented by the
superstitious prejudices of
, his seamen, from
examining the vessel as ruiliutely as he wish
ed to have done. Ile therefore carried away
the logbook already mentioned, returned to
hi 4 Gave ship, and immediately steered to the
southward, deeply impressed with the exam;
pie which he had just witnessed—
Protect Your Eyesight.
Milton's blindness was the result of over
work and dyspepsia. One of the most emi
nent American divines, having for some time
been compelled to forego the pleasure of
reading spent thousands of dollars iu value,
and lost years of time in consequence of get
ting up several hours before sunrise, and
studying by artificial light. his eyes never'
got well,
Multitudes of men and women have made
their eyes weak for life by the too free um
of the eyesight, reading small print, and do
ing flue sewing. In view of these things, it
is well to observe the following rules in the
use of the eyes
Avoid all sudden changes between light
and darkness
Never read by twilight, or moonlight or
on a stormy day.
Never sleep so that on waking the eyes
shall opeTaim the light of a window.
lla D'll use—clici eyesight by light so scant
that it requires an effort to d saiminate.
Never rend or sew directly in hoot of, the
light or window or door.
It is best to have the light fall from above
obliquely over the left shoulder.?
Too much light creates a glare, and pains
nod coliftuics the sight.. The moment you
are sensible 01 an effort to distinguish, that
moment cease, and talk, walk or ride.
As the sky is blueand the earth green, it
would seem that the coiling should be a blu
ish tinge, the carpet green, and the walls of
some mellow tint
The moment you are instinctively prompt
ed to rub the eyes, that moment cease 'sing
them.
If the eyelids are Oiled together on wa•
king up, do not forcibly open them, but ap
ply the saliva with the fingftr—itis the spee-
diest diluteut in the world—and then wash
your bands and face in warm water.
On a certain Sabbath evening • some twen
ty•live years ago, a reckless ill•dressed young
man was idly lounging under the elm trees
in the public square of Worcester. lle had
became a wiciched waif on the current of
sin. Ills days were spent in the waking re
morse of a drunkard; his nights arere pass
cd in the buffuonerics of the drinking house
As he sauntered along, out of humor with
himself and mankind . , a stranger tapped his
shoulder, and in cordial tones said, 'Mr
Gough, go doer] to our meeting at the town
/ball to night.' A brief conversation follow
ed, so writming in its character that the reck
less youth consented to go Ile went; ho
heard the appeals there ulna.. With trem
ulous bands he signed the pledge of Total.
Abstinence. 13y God's help he kept it, and
he keeps it yet. The poor boot crimper,
who tapped him on the shoulder (good Joe
Stratton) has lately gone to heaven, but the
youth saved is to-day the foremost of the
reformers on the face of the globe Somo•
times when I listen to the thunders •of ap
plause that greet John B. Gough on the
platform of Ester Hall or the Academy of
Music, it seems to me, .1 am hearing the
echo of that tap on the shoulder, and of that
kind invitation under the ancient elms of
Worcester. 'lle that winneth souls is wise.'
AT NlGlT.—liere is one of Thackery's
pleasant touches :
'it is night now; and here is home. Gath
ered under the quiet roof, elders and chi!.
dren he alike at rest. Io the midst of a
great peace and calm, the stars peep out
from the heavens. The silence is peopled by
the past, sorrowful remotses for sins and
shortoomings, memories of passionate joys
and griefs rise out of their graves, but now
alike calm and sad. Eyes, as I shut mine,
look at me that have long ceased to shine.—
The town and fair landscape sleep under the
starlight wreathed is the autumn mists,—
Twinghog among the houses A light keeps
watch here and there, in *hat may be a sick
chamber or two. The cluck tolls sweetly io
the silent air. Here is night at rest. AO
awful sense of thanks make the heart swell,
and the bead bow, as I pass to my room
through the sleeping house, and .feel as a
blessing was aeon 'it,
Wesley's Preaching
'lt was, I believe in October, 1790, and
~loog~efore Lis th i —th at—Lb eard4ohn_
Wesley in the great round meeting-house at
Colchester. Ile stood in a wide pulpit * and
on each side stood, a miciiater, and the two
held him up; begin. , their hands under his
armpits. Ilia feeble voice was barely audi•
ble. But his reverend countenance, espe
cially his ling white locks, formed a picture•
never to be forgotten. There was a vast
crowd of lovers and admirers. It was, for
the most part, pantomime, but the panto
mime went to the heart.- 01 the kind, I
never saw anything comparable to it in after
n • ver for otten h.
Robinson. lie Often re ate. it at is o• IT
table, with the addition that so greatly was
Wesley reverenced that the people stood in
double line to see him an he passed through
- th - e - streets - on-his way to the chard. In a
letter writen at the time to one of his broth.
ers, he gave the following particulars of the
same occurrence:—'At another time, and not
knowing the men, I should almost have rid
urm—Far-fro mit_a o_w_. I look
upon him with a respect borderino• '
on en
thusiasm. After the people had sung a
verse- of a hymn he arose and said : /It
gives me great pleasure to find that you have
not lost your singing. Neither men nor wo-
men—you have not forgot a single note.-
-And_Lho le b. the assistarce of the same
-God who_enables you fo sing well, you may
do all- other things well.' A
.universal—c-A
men' followed. At the' end of every head
or division of his discourse, he finished by
a kind of prayer, a momentary wish, as it
were, not consisting of more than three or
four words, which were always followed by
a universal t utz His discourse was short,
the teat I could not hear. After the last
prayer he arose - and addressed the people up
on fibers-I+ly of timeut,tuid_Erlke moo
against refusing to j tin with any congrega
tion on account of difference of opinion.—
lle said, 'lf they do but fear God, work
righteousness, and keep his commandments,
we have nothing to objlct to.— Diary of ll
C. Rotanson.
Droll Russian Proverbs.
Every lox praises his own tail
Go after two wolves and you will not
even catch one.
A good beginni!.►g is half the work.
Trust in God, but do not stumble yourilelf.
With God, even cross the sea; without
❑lm, not even to the threshold.
Without cheating, no trading.
Money is not God, but it shows great
mercy.
The deeper you bide anything, the sooner
you find it.
11 God don't forsake us; the pigs will not
take us.
A debt is adorned by payment.
Roguery is the last of trades
Never take a crooked Fath whileyou see a
straight one.
Fear not tb-e--threats of the great, but
lather the tears of the poor.
Ask a pig to dinner, and he will put hie
feet on tlio tale
Disease conies in by hundred weights and
goes out by ounces. ,
An old friend is worth two new ones.
lie praised not for your ancestors, but for
your virtues.
When ft)h are rare, even' a crab is a fi3b
A farther's blessing cannot be drowned in
water nor consumed by fire
A mother's prayer will draw up from the
depth of the sea.
DEGRADATION OF SWEARING.-IN is DO
mark of a gentleman to swear. The most
worthless and vile, the refuse of mankind,
the drunkard and the prostitute swear, as
well as the best dressed and educated gentle
man. No particular endowments ate retluir•
ed to give a finish to the art as cursing.—
The basest and meanest of Ananitind swear
with as much tact and skill as the most re
fined; and he that wishes to degrade him
self to the lowest level of pollution and shame
should learn to be a common swearer. Any
man has talents ehouo to learn to nurse
God, and imprecate perdition on themselves
and their fellow men. No man is the richer,
or wiser, or happier for it: it helps no
one's education or manners. It commends
no one to any sleiety. It is disgusting to
the refined, abominable to she good, degra
ding to the mind; unprofitable, needless, and
injurious to society; and wantonly to profane
His name, to call His vengeance down, to
curse him, and to invt.lte His vengence, is
perhaps ()call agencies the most awful in
sight of God.
FLOWERS —Botanists term a bright, blue
eyed flower 'Forget me not,' but every heart
has its own 'Forget me not.' To the cold,
weary-hearted statesman, who has climbed
fame's dizzy height, the simple white rose
meals the bush that grew by his father's
door, and his heart feels the old thrill as be
remembers the bud that he culled and fasten
ed in Jessie's curls. Some of the greatest
minds of earth have felt the influence of
those memory keys. Napoleon often spoke
tenderly' of his father's garden in Corsica.—
The Medean Queen of Nebuchadnezzar pined
so sadly for the hills and flowers of her child
hood's home that the hanging gardens of Bab
ylon wore reared to comfort her A gerani.
um always blooined in the library of the groat
statesman, Fos; it bad been his mother's fa
vorite flower. Pope, when almost crazed by
the keen shafts of Lady Nary•and Lord Her.
vey, would retire to his seat near a violet bed.
W Win a loved and loving child, one corner
in his tiny garden was appropriated to v ‘ io •
lets.
, Au ill•bamored English wife, abusing her ,
lord on account of his mercenary disposition,
told him if she was dead be would marry
Satan's daughter if be could got anything
by it. 'That's true,' 'but the worst of it is,
in Enema(' one CIO% marry two sisters. ,
An Assassi'n's Story.
A murder ewe California whieti tout
:tot been decided by the murderers beiDg
sent to the State Pails's' for lira, preeeuts all
the details of a romance Ais Italian wo
man wished to got rid of her 4 ltichand, and
an Italian named Brum wss hired to com
mit the act. The as4aa•sin wa4 followed up
and captured and this is Ole story told
Brusercs'a confession reveabd him to be one
of the blackest seeundrtels_oa - earth He
said that before canning to America from It
aly he had followed this profession of an as
sassin, and had put
, en Bull to the exi6tenea
of more than one perono, and had been fore
ed to leave by tbe discovery of one of his
- 11 - e -- ta-m:1-513— , - Sin
he had kept out of serapes until Piz inn
broached the murder of L-ic•ari. lie was
only offered $3O at first, but by dint of hard
bargaining had run it up to $8 more, and for
838 he agreed to murder a man who had, ag
he said, been a warm friend to him
The plan of ambush was agreed upon, an
well as locality, and on the appointed day he
repaired to the 'Long Rock.' When the
the guiltywile - i - Cod nod - huiband appeared - ,
and had reached a convenient distance, he
stepped from his place of concealment, and
as be did so the wife ran from the husband's
side. When the unfortunate man saw how
he had been betrayed, he began to plead to
Mazzo for his life Brun stated that he
atmostyieldedi-and-was-about-to-throw-down
the gun, - when the woman-called-him a cow
ard; and screamed, 'Shoot shoot ! you cow
ard And with that lie raked the weapon
and fired, - his.victim falling dead with an ag
onizsd groan. lie said that ho was than
treated treacherously by Piz MO, who only
paid him $26 arid to the end he contended
Pismo was only fit, to be hung because she,
bad't paid the remaining twelve dollars.
— Aa TA L K - ATRI - 1111 - 613 s •
palatable bee trk.e it is true, and can be vouch •
ed for, took place it lew Sundays since at
one of the prominent New Jersey churches
It seems that a worthly deacon had been very
industrious in selling a new church book,
costing seventy 6ve cents. At' the service
in question, the minister, jut before dismiss
ing, the cmgregation, rote and said:—'Ali
you who have children to biptin will please
present them next Sabbath ' The Liman,
who, 'by the way, was a little deaf, having
ad eye to selling the books, and supposing
his pastor wos referring to them, immediate
ly jumped up and shouted, 'And all you
Who haven't any cal get as many as you
want by coiling on me, at seventy fire cents
each.'
The preacher looked cros's•eycd at the
brothers, the brothers locked at the clergy
man; the audience punched the audicoca in
the side, the bubble grew larger until it
burnt into a long guffaw; ladies colored up,
crimsoned, blushed, and thanked the lord for
the low price of peopling the earth. There
was no benediction that morning worth Eplak.
log of.
Tbe deacon, after he had found out his
mistake changed his pew from the front of
church to the third from the roar; and though
he cannot hear the terruon, he is consoled
with the thought that the young ladies can't
snicker at him,
A REMARKABLE DrscovEßY.—By many
it has boon held es a theoty that the Yuma
desert was once an ocean bed. At intervals
pools of salt water ,have stood for a while in
the midst of the surrounding waste of sand,
disappearing only to rise again in the same
or other localities. A short time since ens
of these saline lakes disappeared, and a par
ty of Indians reported the discovery of a
'big ship' laft by the receding waters. A,
party of Americans at once proceeded to the
spot and found imbedded in the sands the
wreck of a large vessel. Nearly one third of
the forward part of the ship or barque is
plainly visible. The stump of the bow sprit
remains, and portiAs of the timbers of the
deck are perfect. The wreck is located fur.
ty miles north of the San Bernadine and
Fort Yuma road, and thirty miles west of
Los Palma, a well known watering place on
IliTt — deaert. The road across the desert has
been traveled far more than one hundred
years. The history of the ill fated vessel
can of course never be known, but the dis
covery of its decaying timbers, in the midst
of what has long been a desert, will furnish
sevens with food for discussion, and may per-
haps furnish itnportant aid in the elucidation
of questions of science.
TFIE Two HEADED AND FOUR-LEOOED
WOMAN. —There is now on exhibition at the
Fair Grounds in Columbus, Ga , the most
wonderful freak of nature ever presented to
the world. It consists of a negro girl, or as
some would say, a pair of girls, aged 18 years.
The person or persons has two perfectly de
veloped heads and bodies down to the waist,
where the tws spines and bodies become blen
ded into one solid body. .On each body aro
two perfect arms and bands, of which each
has fall and natural use. She has four per
featly formed and well developed legs and
feet, on which she moves actively. She can
walla, and dance a quadrille She was born
a slave, the property of Mrs. Smith, in Co
lumbus, Robeson county, North Carolina,
who tenderoly oared for and raised and edu.
cated her. bhe is intelligent and can and
does hold converse with twa.persons at the
same time. 'She is cheerful, and most de
iotely attached to Mrs. Smith. What is singu
lar, though she appears from the col' the
skin to be of pure negftillOod, she latlitra't
black hair.— Co/umbusfailun.
A young lady having called out an ugly
gentleman, at the condescantion, and believ
ing that she was in love with him, desired
to know why she selected him from the rest
of the company. 'Because, sir, replied the
lady, 'my briabaod commanded me to select
snob a partner as ilhould not give him cause
for jealousy:
62.00 No or lEr ova.*
"Hug's, I've*Got You Now!"
Some years ago, an eocentrie genius
Hunt, used to give teineer•tnce lectures.—
ate night he announced that-ho-would. lee.
tore in E lston Now, temperance was not
in favor arrilrig, the mole p irti tin ef, that
'burg, Too Women, however, were al in for
the pledge,' and consequently nn flunt'a first
night not a man showed himaelf at the hall.
The twitches were pretty well tided with wo
men, though, - and Hunt cornmonsed, hut in
stead of teriapo-ranee, ho put them through,
on the vanities of dress, etc. They wore
great stuffed feather sleeves then They (the-
sleeves)caught it, and their tight
and so on thro' the whole Intalogal of fa.
And the ladies welt Immo hoppine" tuA
told their hulbands about it, and voted old'
Hunt dowin to the lowest notch.
lie had announced that he would lecture
nt the same place the nest night Long be.
fore the time appointed they commenced to
come, and when Iluot hohb'ed down the
ahle, the building was cornfortithlv well if I.
od with moo Too old fellow
c - litieldelrold — omt - cred7-41:vs,__Lve got_ you•
now!' The audience started. 'Abe, hogs,
I're got you now!'
After the crowd had got quiet a little, the
the lecture arose and said:
•Prienda, you wanted to know what t
mean by saying, 'Hoes, I've got you now,'
and tell you, Out, 'West, the hogs run
wild-,--and when_talke
_get out of meat they
catch-a -young pig, put a_strap under his body
and - hitch him to a young sapling that will
jost swing him I rom rhe ground nicely. Ot
o Jurse he squeals and raises a rumpus when
all the old hogs gather around to see what's
the matter, and then they shoot them at
leisure. List night I hung a pig up; hurt
it a little, and it squealed. The old bogs
blve-tvried out to-night to nee the fun, and
1 - 1 . - roast—you j amil-so-het--did,
their favorite vice with a relish and guesto
that can only be appreciated by ore who has
hem) 'o.d King Alcohol' put through dur
iug'.4(3 or 47.
CONQUER YOUR TROU BLES.—A grant
many mon, whatever may have been their
experience in life, ore accustomed to cum plain
of the usage they have received in the world.
They fill the ears of those who havo.the_ mit
fortune to be their Needs, with lamenta
tions respecting their own freebies. But
theta is no man that is not k or() into a world
of trouble; and no man has ever attained to
anything like the stature of manhood,
who has not been ground, as it were, to row
der, by the hardships which lie has enc.ium ,
tered in I.fe. This is a world in which
men are made, not by velvet but by stone
and iron handling! Therefore, do not grum•
We, but conquer your troubles.
LL.
Alen may be mire liberal and just than
_women, but — fifef very rarely take a wtlmart
tor a wife unless they believe her to he chaste
as ice and pure as snow. Their sense of pu•
rity in respect. to the woman they, marry is
exquisitely delicate. They aro not satisfied
with the natural purity and goodness of the
-woman, but her good name must he • above
reproach If women were as careful in amis.
tng their husbands, we think there would be
fewer marriages, pr lees a wonderful refor•
mation would be begun. It is presumed.that
the coming woman will order these things
different.
'What are you disturbing, the whole how()
with your yel:s in this way for,' demanded a
Saratoga landlard of a guest whom he found
late at night seemingly in active pursuit of
invisible toes, and yelling at the top of his
voice. 'l'm shouting the battle•cry of flea
dotp,' answered the guest, as ho went ahead
with his search and his jells.
A man, while a o.lllce:bn wait taking to
aid (be heathen, pocketed all the money en
the plate. When mked to explaie his coo•
duet, he replied"that he was the greatest
heathen in that part of the country. -
'Are you alarmed at the approach of tho
_Kin_ of_Terrors ?' said the 'minister to a sick
man. 'Oh, no! I )vc been living six and•
.thirty years with t queen of tenors— the
king cannot be much worse I.'
e Woes() are a queer people to go to
market. A friend at an Francisco writes
that a rieighbor of his had just laid in his
%inters - provisions—a hind (lustier of a hotse.
and two barrels of bull dugs.
u acked Julia if ;he would have him.
'No,' said she, '1 tsi.t uot have sou: rut hc...
fore John could recover from the shock, she
archly put in, 'but you may have me
William Rowe was arrested in a western•
town the other day for beating his wile with
a hoe— as if a man hadn't a right to hoe
his own Rowe.
The measles are in Brigham Young's fam•
ily. It is unnecessary to add that there are
not enough to go around, and several duns
are left without a measlo.
r The eeosus taker in a certain city asked a
woman the age of her oldest child, and the
reply was 'You have come around about.
a mouth too aeon •
Miss Prim, of doubtful ego, said she is a,
fort that never will surrender. We are a
fraid she is too well forty•fied.
The story of a man who bad a nose so,
Large that be couldo't blow it without the
use of gunpowder, •is sail to bea hoax.
'Father will settle the bill' is $ BOW song.
It is popular with young ladies.
The product of pale brandy is often lb. • ► S
OM.
A liotti to the wise—Remain ter
firM DER 24