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VOLUME XXII.
BELL
Q. P. LID'
MACHINE SHOP
LUMBER YARD !
MIRE suescrihers having enlarged tneir shops
and added the latest improved machinery for
working Wond and Iron, are now prepared to do
till kinds of Work in their Line, and are manufac•
wiring the •
Willoughby's Gam-Spring Grain and Per
/ talizer Drill, Greatly Improved.; The Cel
ebrated Brinkerhoff Coroshellor; Gibson!?
Champion -- Washing Machine; John Aid
dlesberger's Patent Lifting Jacks.
THE PROPRIETORS OF THE
WAYNESBORO'
Dvon pcarrn-n
naving furnished their shops with the latest un
proved Machinery for this Branch of Business, they
are now prepared to manufacture -- anal -- furnish--el
kinds of
BUILDING MATERIAL,
such as Sash, Doors, Frames, Shutters, Blinds,
Mouldings, some Eighteen Different Styles; _Cor
nice, Sift iring, Porticoes, &c, &c., Flooring, Weath
erboarding, and
LL-KINDS=UNZI4----
We tender our thanks to the community for their
liberal patronage bestowed upon us and hope by
-rist-erattention - to - Businesa - to - merit - a --- tiWitinice
of the same,
Also agents for the sale of Dodge & Sevenson's
Kirby Valley Chief, and World Combined Reap
ing and M swing Machinnes, and the celebrated
- may - 7, 18691
GROVBR i BIKER
ELASTIC STITCH
SEWING MACHINES,
495 Broadway, New York
730 Chestnut street, Philadelphia.
POINTS OF EXCELLENCE.
Beauty and Elasticity of stitch.
Perfection and simplicity of Machinery.
Using both threads directly from the spools,
No fastening of seams by hand and no waste of
thrtad.
Wide range of application without change of ad
justment,
The seam retains its beauty and firmness after
washing and ironing.
Besides doing all.kiade of work done •by other
Machines, these Machines execute the most beauti
ful and permanent Embroidery and ornamental
work.
re The Highest Premiums at all the fairs and
exhibitions of the United States and Europe, have
been awarded the Grover & Baker Sewing Ma
chines, and the work done by them, wherever ex-
Whited for competition.
ra" The very highest prize, Tun Caosa or THE
LEGION Or HONOR, was conferred on the representa
tive of the Grover & Baker Sewing Machines, at
the Exposition 'Universelle, Paris, 1869, thus attest
ing their great superiority over all other Sewing Ma
chines.
For oafs by D. W. RO BISON, Waynesboro'.
NOTICE.
The undersigned having had 17 years'
experience as a practical operator on Sewing Ma
chines w.,utd recommend the Grover & Baher Fam
ily Machine as the cheapest and hest machine fur
family use r The simplicity of construction and
elasticity of stitch made by these machines are two
very important points in their favor. 250,000 of
these machines are today bearing witness to the
truth of our assertions and the demand is steadily
increasing.
We have also shuttle machines on hand for Tail
ors and CoachTtrigners' use. Call and see us.
D. W. ROLtIvON,
Main st., Waynesboro', Pa.
IMMISBORIf MERRY
CONFECTIONARY!
fiIHE subscribers announce to the public that
I they hove opened a Bakery and Confectionary
on Main /street, Waynesbore, opposite the "Bow
den House", where persons at all times can be sup
plied with fresh Bread, Rolls, Pretzels. all kinds of
Sweet Cakes, wholesale or retail, A full supply of
Candies, Nuts, Fruits, etc., always on band. ICE
CREAM regularly supplied during the season.
Having erected at considerable expense a first
class Bake House they feel confident that in this
department of their business they can give general
satisfaction. They therefore solicit a share of pub
lic patronage.
may 5-tf
MILLINERY GOODS !
licßeteciaL-fr.L.lXl.R. 6. .EAtserguirsototrl:
Ladiee are invited to call and examine her stock..
april 23—tf
a,ONCE NTRATED LYE, a full pound in ,ft
box at 20 cents. BA L SUDS in largo or small
quantities, sold low by . W, A. REID..
ro 3
SASH AND
furnished at,short notice.
LIDY, FEICK Sr. CO.
FIRST PREMIUM
FAMILY
SLEASEMAN & MORT.
TO THE LADIIPS!
SOAP-MAILING.
JACOB PRICE,
D. B. 8U88141.,
Among the thistles on the bill,
In tears sat little Sorrow;
"I see a black cloud in the West,
'Twill bring a stereo 10-morrow.
And when it storms where shall I be?
And what will keep She rain from me!
Woe's me !" said Little Sorrow.
'But now the air is soft and sweet,
The sunshine bright," said Pleasure;
"Here is Ley pipe,—if you will dance,
I'll wake my merriest measure,
Or. if you choose, we'll sit beneath •
The red rose4ree, and twino a wreath ;
Come, Come with me !" said Pleasure. -
"0,1 want neither dance nor flowers,—
They're not for me," said Sorrow,
"When that black cloud is in the West,
And, it ,ill storm to.morrow !
Andlif it storm., what shall I do?
I hare no heart to play with
Go ! go !" said Little Sorrow.
But lo ! when came the morrow's morn,
The clouds were all blown over;
The lark sprang singing from its neat•
Among the dewy clover;
And pleasure called, "Come out and dance!
To-day you mourn no evil chance:
The clouds have all blown_over !"
•And if they have, alas ! alas !
Poor comfort that!" said Sorrow ;
"For if to-day we miss the storm,
I
'Twill sorely come to-morrow,— ,
And be the fiercer for delay?.
I am too sore at-heart-tolday4
Woe's me !" said Little Sorrow.
—Our Young Folks.
Father the shadows fall
Along my ways;
'Tis past the noon of day.
My "westering sun" tells that the eve is near ;
I know, but feel no fear,
And loved ones have gone home— ,
A holy band.
I hear them call me from the spirit land—
A gentle call.
O, not alone ! though now
I lead the van,
And with uncovered head
Press on where others led
When my young life began.
I asa not left alone,
Though they are gone ;
Sweet voices of the past,
And of to-day--
The loved that round my way
Still twine about my heart—
Tell me how good thou art.
0 holy Light and Love!
Beam on my seal,
My inmost life control;
Then may each pure thought spring;
And peace, with gentle wing,
Brood like the dove.
_l~ - ~
ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN.
Upon go to call on a young lady, and she
crochets diligently all evening, and only
says 'ye? and 'no,' you can go away about
nine or a quarter past, without breaking any
of the rules of etiquette.
Don's make a business of courting any
body very -extensively without you want to
go in for keeps, and by all means. avoid Sun
day evening. There is something in the Sun
day evening oir decidedly epoony, and it is
just as natural for fellows and girls to get to
gether, and court Sunday evenings, as it is
for a en to set. Many a promising youth,
in the full vigor of manhood, has been drag
ged into premature, matrimonial decay by an
innocent Sunday evening call.
If you are invited to a "sociable' or fair,
make yourself sick by smoking your big bro
ther's pipe and stay at home, and when you
are called upon to suffer do it with alaerity,
and think how happy you are compared to
the miserable victims who are decoyed into
attending.
Don't court but one girl at a time. The
moat harrowing sight I know of to a sensitive
mind is to see a young man full of Christian
fortitude and noble ambition, trying to court
two girls at once.
Don't drift into matrimony, unless you
want to get wretched; and don't marry a
poor girl unless she has money.
If you are calling on a young lady. and
the old folks go out of the room about nine
o'clock, with a solemn. air, you can make up
your mind there's a conspiracy afloat. Don't
show any symptoms of fear,but tell the' young
lady you were setting up last night with a
friend of yours who has the smallpox, and
you think you'll go home to get a little sleep.
Don't imagine it looks smart to loaf around
billiard bells , smoke cheap cigars at. ti high
pride, and swallow slops - at twenty cents a
glass. It would show more talent on your
part to retire to the nearest graveyard and
study last year's almanac. '
And don't 'imagine you are a ' hardened
bummer just because your lather lets you
carry a night key. Some young moo will go
to a band °nowt ()alba Common, smoke a
cinnamon cigar, arid go bane- thoroughly'
()convinced that they have made a heavy night
'of it, and ought to be looked after.
WAYNESBORO, FRANKLIN. COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, THURSDAY MORNING, JUNE. 9, 1870.,
IPCOV"I'XCI.4I.Za.
LITTLE BORROW.
BY MARIAN DOUGLAS.
TO - WARDS EVENING.
Aka, maclopea3 dart Via,3txr.ll3r Igeevc-spapar.
If you ask a young lady to marry you, and
she saga she would rather be excused, don't
excuse her.
Don't marry—for- money.- If you ate en
gaged to a ygung lady who has a fortune, tell
her you won't marry her unless she gives it
all away to . the poor,, and goes to making
vests. Money is,sure to bring unhappiness.
I never knew , of a single instance where
it didn't bring barrels of unhappiness, and I
have seen strong men weep hysterically be•
cause they had seven dollars ahead.
If you want to be considered—anybody,
learn to chew tobacco.immediately. It looks
no cultivated and refined to see a young man
pull out a tin cannister of tobacco and make
a cesspool of his mouth.
Ddn't gat into debt unless yan can find
some one who is willing 'to trust you, and
then don't.
Don't stay in your pres e nt — sitfiition all
your life because your grandmother says that
'a rolling stone gathers no moss! .1 know
-sevettbfgeirltritiffriectlible stones w — Go ave
stuck in one place all their lives, and who
haven't got moss enough to make a mill sau
cer of blannmange. .
If you are engaged to a yOung lady, don't
make a great many presents unless its a sure
thing, for if anything happens she is sure to
return your presents. A friend of mine late
ly received by express, three pair of decayed
corsets, the same number of white silk hose,
one dozen dirty pocket kerchiefs, a lot of in
itial note paper, a fatted calf, a pair of old
gloves, and a broken heart, and be is now
looking for another girl of the same size:
Please don't get married in church, and
have it described in half a column of_dail..
news. It is the cheapest sort of notoriety.
. See if you can't go courting without turn.
bling your shirt bosom. If courting was a
criminal offense,l have seen evidence enough
on-a young-man's shirt bosom to hang—bim.
Remember that ignorance and conceit go
hand in hand; and that 'cheek and impu.
deuce are twin brothers.'
Young men now-a-days are hardly worth
bringing up, and as near as I can find out
they seem to be governed by about the fol
lowing rules:
1 It is better to receive a small salary and
be constantly in debt than to earn a largo sal.
ary by doing something that isn't genteeL
2. It is more blessed to invite yourself to
dinner with a friend than to run the risk of
having to invite him.
3. If a friend asks me to stop over night
with him and take breakfast, it is my duty
to stop several nights and eat several break
fasts •to show him that I appreciate his kind
ness.
4. One old friend who you can borrow
money of is worth — moreahan a dozen new
ones who nre doubtful
5. If a h ielad is smoking a cigar, it is my
solemn duty to ask him if he has the mate
to it. .
6. The first principle to be observed .in
buying cigars is to buy 'odd ones, then I can
truthfully say that 1 have.no mate.
7. It f can't wear kid gloves and diamond
studs, why seek to drag out a miserable ex•
istence in a world where all is dreary and
blank?
If some young men had died when they
were children, they would have been an or•
nament to their sex.
, A correspondent from Garretsville furn
ishes the Portage . County Democrat with the
following romantic story, which is of relisha
ble interest. The family name of the parties
alluded to is French :
A story of real life, shrouded somewhat in
romance, runneth in this wise. About thir
ty three years ago a young lady, about fifteen
years of age, beautiful and accomplished, but
specially noted for her musical talent, for
she could sing like a bird, was wooed and
won by a young mechanic, who' was also a
noted singer. The union did not prove har
monious, and after,an existence of about six
months, the young wife returned to her
paternal roof for support and protection.
A committee was selected to confer with
the estranged parties. One of the committee.
men was Hon. D. H. Tilden, of Cleveland.
The committee effected, nothing in the way
of reconciliation. The husband went his
way. A divorce, wavbtatned, but I have
not been advised which was the complaining
party. A son was born, in whom the pride
of the mother was centred more and more, as
he grew from infancy to childhood, stud from
childhood to =oboe& for she was in him re
warded more than mothers often are. The
father married again and reared a family of
children. His name often appears in print,
for he is an author of music and a singer of
note. More than thirty years have dragged
their crooked lengths along . and disappeared
behind eternity's veil. During all this time,
I believe, the sabre in this drama met 'not;
but strange things to happen.
The second wife sickened and died ; after
a while the.busband sickened, and as be lay
on his bed, uncertain of thefuture, memory
called up the past in long review; some little
wrongs may have tingled his consciedee—
at all , events, he longed to .see her, around
whose life he had wantonly wrapped the dark
mantle. Efforts were made to get her by
his bedside; they wore successful; a recoil.
ciliation Was effected, and she administered
to him during his indisposition. When suf
ficiently corivaleacent, together they visited
her old home; kindly words, were spoken;
the dark - past forgotten ; assurance of fealty
in the future made, and again the baud was
promised. Last night, May sth, they were
married—the life journey so early begun, so.
soon disconnected, was commenced anew. ,
Every man has in his own life follies
enough—in his own mind troubles enough
—in the performance of .bis duties defisien.
eies enough; without being over curious a•
bout the affairs of others.
Pleasure is like a hornet- 7 -genetally ends
with a sting.
Thrilling Inoideni.
During the recent fire arSt. Paul, Minn.,
two brothers, who wore, imprisoned by the
flames,
leaped from a window a distance of
about 100 feet and were not killed. The
Bt. Paul Press tells the story in this wise :
Their names are August and Karl Mueller.
These boys (natives of SaionY) had been in
this country about four years; and by , steady,
honest industry and pleasant manners bad
won a gapd name and fair business piospects.
They worked for Mr. Grisworld—;one of our
leading merchant tailors—for three years,
and bad just got nicely underway in a little
establishment of their own. Between them,
as brothers, there seems to have existed the
most intimate and tender friendship.
Praying and studying together as children,
and now as men living together; having a
common purse, betrothed to two sisters, they
afford a rare speotaole of mutual affection and
respect. Courage and good will in their
hearts, they_are-ready-for-the-chances-of-the
dayas they sit , in, the shop on that quiet
afternoon, their 'pleasant chat broken only by
the hum of the new sewing machine they
had just bought and found' to Work like a
chart( little dreaming how swiftly the
whole ground work of rife was to be swept
from beneath their feet. First, a sudden
darkening of the light; smoke and hot flame
wirling into the open windows, singing the
hair and beard off August as be sits at
work.
The room is 'black with the stifling vapor;
they bear each other's voices but- see noth
ing., 'Karl, my brother, where are you 1'
August has opened the door into the hall
- • ;-oloudrof awoke here also, and as they
lift for a moment he peers down the narrow
stairway-i:ad sees the foot-of-it-opetrito
the very jaws of hell. No chance there.--=
Karl, groping, touched his brother's sleeve;
they clasp bands and make - their - way to the
rear of the building. The wind is blowing
from the east, and they are delivered from
the blinding smoke.- Here
,once more is the
blue coping -- of the sky. Now they have
fresh sir and can think a moment.
No escape to the rear, nor right, nor left,
and in front a hundred feet — of nether air.
Now, lads, if in all the past you have
learned aught that can serve in 'this great
need, bring it forth, and quickly. They are
seen at one moment looking far off toward
the rim of the horizon, as if appealing for
succor to the unpitying, heavens; the nest
'moment they appear at another window and
cry aloud` to those below. August climbs
through the window, and Karl, bending,
holds both his hands and lets him down the
fate of the wall. He can not, dare not, let go.
"Mein l,ruder, leh kann define hand nicht
loslassen P Poor fellow, he can jump out
himself fast enough, but he has no heart to
let his brother drop to almost certain deaah
on rocky bluff below—and August is
pulled back into the room.
The sunshine lies broad and peaceful on
the opposite bills; the Mississippi, rolls by
listless and indifferent. Life is very sweet.
What can be done Y Nothing. The brutal,
overpowering fortes of nature have these
two human hearts at a disadvantage. The
fire is behind them, overhead, under—eager,
remorseless; while the air is heavy with the
bodings of despair, and woe, and untimely
death.
Some swift interchange of parting, and
Karl stands up in the window— balances—
leaps ! Every heart stops beating,, and the
bieath is held while this human body—the
very temple of Deity— surrenders every pow
er and permits itself to be hurled through
the air and dashed upon . the earth as though
it were a clod.
The hundreds gathered /below rash for-
ward to gather up the poor shattered form,
rolling over and down ,the bluff. Thank
God, ho is alive I But stand from under,
the other brother is coming. He clings to
the edge of the window, and, pushing him
self out from the wall with one foot, lets, go
his hold at the same instant, and--thesame
revolving spectacle of a man falling mid air
—he lies broken and bleeding.
And these truehearted brothers, ,at the
first dim sense of returning consciousness,
made inquiry each for the tile and safety of
the other.
They had many friends before this sad oc
currence—their comrades the Turners, the
firemen, and all who knew them—bat the
entire community will now rejoice to see
them once more restored to lonia, .and be
glad to welcome them baik to the active life
they had begun in such true 'manly style
when overtaken by this distressful stroke.
They have the best 'medical- attendance
and the" kindest care. Karl, the younger,
can sit up a little in bed, although suffering
from some broken ribs, but August finds ease
only in lying immovable upon his back.—
.They have no fever, and this cool and moist
wheatber is regarded as very favorable to
their wounds. TheY.have taken no nourish.
meat since the 'day of the fire, but they
drink water freely.
A MAN 143 YEARS OLD —There is tkman
living in the mountains of North Carolina,
not more than forty miles from Greenville,
S. C., says the Tarboro' Carolinian, who has
reached the extraordinary age of 143 years.
At the time of Braddock's defeat be was 20
years old, and had a wife and three ehildren.
A gentleman at Greenville states that this
man had come down to us from a former gen
eration, had always been in moderate circum•
stances, and lived upon plain, coarse vegeta
, ble diet; he never- drank any liquid but
spring water, and bids fair to live many years
longer. Ho enjoys perfect health, possesses
all of manhood's attributes, and wishes to
marry. "He has survived seven wives, and
having lost his last one about sixty years ago,
be now begins to feel quite lonely.
'The moon Solomon was called wise--be•
cause ho had seven hundred wives and kept
out of the insane asylum. We should like
to see him try seven hundred modern ladies.
Truth about Death.
• The common mode of dimming this sub•
jest, so interesting to every ope of us, is so
stilted over our heads that we are, glad - to
heat CominCn Seiree hate his say about it
Thus sensibly and justly writes aonitr 'able
man in the English Review: • „ . '
',lt is a great thing, nnutterly awful, and
thrilling, when, for the, first time in our ives,
Death, the 'Conqueror, makes himself known
to as in all the mystery of his might an in.
exorableness. Evor3i day the newspaper has'
its ObitnarY; yon are well await that people
die every Minute; you hive been in the liab.
it of looking up at closed blinds in the street
with some sort of awe and hatchments in
the great squares have touched you as Might
a baronial ruin ; a neivly' made grave has not
- Weil without - a 'voice arid a moral funerals
hitie intercepted your path in the thorough
fares - people have tied next door to you—
but even' death next door is far off—a vague
distant - terror;trirtiritit darklf w Elf) re's
once, Stand with suspended respiration and
fevered temples, stand under the droopkg of
his wings, as he inexorably stoops to breathe
the - last chill upon the forehead of, some loved
one; feel that the solemn shadow in which
you stand is deepening; kneel-when the sil
ver cord is snapped, kneel by the pale corpse
in the hush of an hour before dawn, when
no sounds are to be beard but the sobs of
passionate mourning and the ticking of a
clock—and say to God the 'never more of a
bereaved heart'--the Help, Lord, or I per
ish 1' of a soul that has come into the deep
waters. So stand—so kneel—so cry unto
the Lord of life, and you will know what
death is, and what celestial hope may rise at
last luminous and large out of the blackness
• - • • twin that word—dead.
A' simple child, a simple child,
That lightly draws its breath,
And fed its life in every
What should it know.of death!
And is beautifully said. But I wee long,
very long past the age of childhood, before
I could bring myself to believe in dying—
To this day, I can with difficulty, only, and
by .a direct mental effort, conceive even of
one dangerously sick, as dying—dead I So
complete does actual present life, even when
faint and fluttering, keep its negation out of
sight. That the beautiful flame which lights
up the eye and glows at the touch, should go
out—
To die!
To lie in cold obstruction and to rot!
This sensible, 'warm motion to become
A kneaded clod !
And • other' pulses go on beating, -- and the
stars to keep step along the sky; and the
South wind to ripple the rivers and stir the
leaves, and the little children to prattle and
play, and the million-fold hum of life to a
wake anew every morning, and the round,
imptlssitie heaven to be as blue as ever, 0!
it is stranger still to me I
Dr. W. W. Hall tells this true story of a
man who bad accumulated a fortune by hard
work and untelentiog attention to business :
At fifty years of age he retired home front:
business with an ample fortune. .Befdie he
was sixty, in fact, in about five years, he died
a degraded drunken not. Ilaving nothing
to do, time hung heavily. Being inper
feet health he had a good appetite—in
dulged it, and sat monad the
,house, tolled
on the sofa, took . 'naps' in the day time,' and
as a result did not sleep well at night; taking
but little exercise and eating heartily, he soon
began to suffer fromindigestion, or dyspep
sia; after each meal , he would feel' op
pressed, unoomfortable, and to relieve him•
self, at the suggestion of a friend, he took a
'sip of brandy;' be felt better , next day, he
took another; then a little more, soon he
took it three times a day, before meals as well
as after, with the result already detailed.—
Thus it is that this side of heaven no wo m b
safe from o drunkard's grave, except him
who never tastes a drop. of liquor. It might
have been thought that fifty years of ab
stinence would have been a perfect gaurantee
against a vice so degrading, but it was not.
SANDIVICUEB.-If best men's faults were
written on his fore bead, it would make him
pull his hat, over his eyes.
lie that is naturally revengeful keeps his
wounds open, which otherwise would close of
themselves.
lie who does his best, however little, is al.
ways to be distinguished from him who does
nothing.
To mingle the useful with the beautiful, is
the highest style of art. The one adds grace,
and the other value.
• • Deliberate with caution, but not with de
cision; and yield with graciousness, or oppose
with firmness.
'Hard as it is to understand tho difficult
parts of the Bible, it is a great deal harder
to practice the simple parts.' •
If you would Bad a great.many faults, be
on the look out. If you , would find them in
still greater abuodance, be on the look in.
Man Often weeps in his sleep. When
awake be:scarcely remembers that ho
shed tears. So regarding life; in the second,
thou will no longer ,know that thou bast
wept in the first.
AN IMPERIAL MORMON.---The Emperor
of China is fifteen years old, and is to be
married this year, with immense pomp, to
his chief wife, bis empress. , Ile will be
simultaneously provided with second and
third wives
~.and from all parts of the Em
pire, victims are being collected to swell the
list of his harem. Every Tartar family, we
believe; is obliged to furnish its quota. Lo
cal selections are first made, and the holocaust,
is sent to Pekin, where a fresh selection takes
place, and 'a''oho'sen' number are condemned
to a life-long seclusion. They are not
allow
ed to see their relations; may never see their
lord and master, and in the event of bis
death they are still coadetaneli to' perpetual
insolation and eelibsoy. ,
00.00 Pier :11rOar
Do you Subsoribe ?
There is an anecdote of which one of our s
journ'alis'ts; tin* at the sunimii of bie'profes
idon, is the hero: When he' Eolithic:tad a
newspaper in the west. he introdunetF the
novelty, of reporting eases before the police
magistrate: One of MAO in Whieh a brawny
butpber, Of Tentetie race, vital' 'brelight up
for administering personal
. elitreetion to his
wife, had some peculiar features which the
reporter dressed up in an wining manner.
He wasiiitting at his desk,'when the 'defend.
ant who .if .not refined', , had been 'fined by
the justice, entered the room, in company
with a huge bludgeon. With a. stentorian'
voice, and itibieken Hagfish; he iequired • by
what right he and hie wife. had .been put
into the newspaPers,Aiod_itis_frianner was so
tbreateeing that the ;titter,: a slight Young
stet,. without' ven a cane to use in defeace,
saw how very hopeless his case was. Keep-
A i r , Jvpeye nn_thc_harly-giant-and drawing
hitnielf up id his chair with great dignity,
be asked : Do you. aubsoribe for my paper?
The enemy stared, and,answered that he did
not. Then said the editor;
triumphantly. I
do not see 'what right you have to find fault
with anything that I print in Wheti you
pay two dollars which is a year's subsctip
don in advance you 'Will have a right to com
plain. This was not a Very logical- deduc
tion; but it hit. The man, hi's' veil abated
tone and moderated manner s nuttered I will
go and talk with miee.wife about this, and
quitted the office never to reappear in it.--
The editor's presence of mind had saved him
from an assault.,--_Proof Sheet. '
'Myra Myrtle' comes down in the following
style upon those 'bashful swains who dawdle
and dangle, and west out the girls' patience
and good clothes, make a protracted meeting
of their halcyon. days, and never summon
courage sufficient- to -pop the question and
then-question Pop.
—lf-there is anything more disheartening to
a women than a long courtship Lhave yet to
discover it. Rikiia the woman who marries
for a home—and there are far too many who
do that—to the fair creature who marries for
love, there are thousands• who are kept in
enspenee for years,•not knowing whether the
man whom they expect to marry is really go.
ing to propose-or not. It is very certain that
long courtships seldom result in matrimony.
Et generally happens that the faults of both
parties are made evident, and the desire for
separation is mutual. _ -
Bat no young (or old) man has any right
to monopolize the attentions of a lady for
years and then .coldly dismiss her. By so
doing he possibly prevents her from marry.
ing some one who would-be glad to have her,
and nets a part Which no gentleman will. 80,
gentlemen, when you have decided that the
lad , • of your choice (and don't be
ong about it) 'pop the question' and set her
heart at test.
AN.OLD DARazy.—The Petersburg (Va.)
papers relate the following registration inci
dent in that city:
An aged colored mho came up to his:voting
place upon crutches, seemingly with great
difficulty. The prescribed formula, 'Flow
old are you ?' was asked, when the old man
was thrown into much perplexity. Reoover
lag himself, however, he muttered in an un
dertone, which was overheard.
'Well, how ale is my ole masa ?'
It so happened that a gentlespan was stand
ing — by, well acquainted with him, 'who
promptly answered :
'Your old master is about fifty-five years
of ag e.'
'Well, how ole is ole mime ?'
'Sheds about forty five years old.'
'An' Miss Sally ?°
'Thirty-five, perhaps, next fall,' ,
'An' young minus.
JNineteen this coming August.' •
'Well, I'se older den all put togodder; for
I knows when day all was born.'
It is needless to say that the old man was .
passed, amid the good feelings of all present.
SCENE IN.COTIET.At a trial in an Ala-
Immo town lately, one of the witnesses, an
old lady of some eighty years, was closely
questioned by the opposing counsel relative
to the clearness of her eyesight :
'Can you see me ?' said he.
'Yes,' was the answer.
glow well can you see me ?' persisted the
lawyer.
'Well enough,' responded the lady, 'to see
that you're neither a negro, an Indian, nor a
gentleman.
The answer brought down the counsel.
A. Detroit negro prisoner, on his way to
the penitentiary for larceny, was asked what
he thought of his trial. He said : 'When
dat lawyer dat fended me made his speech, I
thought Allah I was going to take my ole
bat and walk . right out:of dat co't room ;Int
when. de oder lawyer got up and commenced
talking, I knew I was do biggest rascal on
top of de earf.'
• 'What do you mean by eat and dog life ?'
said a husband to his angry wife. 'Look al
Carlo nod Kitty asleep on, the rug I wish
men lived halt as peacably with their wives.'
'Stop,' said the lady, 'tie them together and
see how they will agree,'
.At Ottumwa, lowa, a nice young man put
a sheet around him to scare a Datchman.—
Some•one asked the young man afterward
what ailed his bind; eye, and he said he had
received bad news from Germany.
Aunt Susan says: •Suppose all men were
in ono country, and all the women in.anotb.
er, with a big river between them. Good
gracious 1 what lots of poor women would be
droWned •
' One of the gentler sex saps that the haa v
an of the strong-minded Women is 'where
buttons grow in their proper places, and men
cease from bothering, and needles are at rest.'
NUMBER 48