•
i .
.. .
... 4 '6:S. 1.7 k.-ett . ''. -.;,'.' 1 . .1••• 5
. A • • • -• . ...
. .
. •
.
F• ,4, ri ' '
-,, . ..- • 1, , , ,t.1,."
C .J,,, Sr '- A •- i •...1. .
..• •
•
r
'''...' •• .. , 4 An..;,e• 11 ''..-". 'j ....: ••• 1 • 1' •1 • ''' ''
' . .
4. t , .
,_. . _
,N . ' ," -., '.• it;,l4) ,
•
. •
. .
. .
. . ~f .. •40'..,-..-/: ...1-;,:: 0: ,:',_:-.' :
,
,
.
~• ........
• ,
•
..,...r., . 11 - . , :''''rc•-•
. . .
,
r . .
.--
•
' .
1,,,,.. - 1 :. •
. 4 . ,:///',.!
~ ' l , ; 56r 7 .1 . •*• 41 e 1'i 1 ,• ••••• .
r
•
'
,
r
' •' • :
-4: ',k . %... .: : :. 7 : 1: :• ": e .4 1' 1.7 a 41.er ~--:
.
• ;
, , .. •"' ,'', -,,,•,.. •:..:,' ; "
-
'
tr 2 r. it_. •• • dss s rODI., . r , •
ter v....
. .
~
.1 • s.r
• .. •
. teeilli ll*.ll A"..'
4 ..,,. 5. ,. . ''':-PT,••'Crz., ' ,
,
,
s
, .
, .
• ,
.
f .
, . •
s33r "liTiT. M3lair.
VOLUME XXII.
vkiliN DELL
G. Y. LIDY,
MACHINE SHOP
LUMBER YARD !
LHE suescribers having enlarged tneir shops
and vn'iled the latest improved machinery for
working Wood and Iron, aro now prepared to do
till kinds of Work in their Line, and are manufac ,
suing the
Willoughby's Gum-Spring Grain and Fey
talizer Drill, Greatly Improved; The Cel
ebrated Brinkerhoff Cornshellor ; Gibsons'
Champiou Washing Machine; John Rid
dlesberger's Patent Lifting Jacks.
TflE PROPRIETORS OF THE
WAYNESBORO'
SASH AND
tni p.i,ArtrDny
having furnished their shops with the :detest im
proved Machinery for this Branch of Business, they
are now prepared to Manufacture and furnish all
kinds of
BUILDING MATERIAL ,
such as Sash, Doors, Frames, Shutters, Blinds,
Mouldings, some Eighteen— Different -Styles ; Cor
nice, rSiairing, Porticoes, &c. elooring, Weath
erboarding, and
ALL KINDS UNDER,
furnished at short notice
We tender our thanks to the community fcir their
liberal patronage bestowed upon us and hope by
ristet attention to Business to merit a continuance
of the same.
ANo agents for the sale of Dodge & Sovenson's
Kirby Valley Chief, and World Combined Reap
ing and M •wing Niachinnes, and the celebrated
Clipper Mower.
may 7, 1869] LIDY, FRICK & CO,
DROVER & BAWL
FIRST PREIIIU3I
ELASTIC STITCH
SEWING MACHINES,
•
495 Broadway, New York.
730 Chootzeut street, Philadelphia.
POINTS OF EXCELLENCE
Beauty and Elasticity of stitch.
Perfection and simplicity of Machinery,
Using both threads directly 'Tom the spools.
No tastening of scams by band and no waste of
thr.ntl.
Wide range of application without change of ad-
justment,
' The seam retains its beauty and firmness after
washing and ironing.
Besides doing all kinas of work done by other
Machines, these Machines ofecutc the most beauti
ful and permanent Embroidery and ornamental
work.
Er The Highest Premiums at all the fairs and
exhibitions of the United r:.:tutes and Europe, have
bmn awarded the Grover & Baker Sewing Ma
chines, and the work done by theta, wherever ex
hibited for 'competition.
[it' The vet) , highest pr;g-•, Tun Cam cv Tug
Molex of 11 ()No% was cunf•rred on the representa
tive of the Grover & Bake r Sewing MaCtuneb, at
the Exposition Universelle, Paris, 1869, thus attest
ing their great supetiority over all other kiewMg Ma
chines.
For sale by D. W. ROBISON, Waynesboro'
NOTmu.
The undersigned halving had 17 Spare'
experience ns a practical operator on Sewing Ma.
chines vv,,ulth recotnntend the braver & Daher Fam
ily Il.laclaine as the cheapest and best toechine for
family use. The sttnplicity of construction and
elasticity of silt( h wade by these machines are two
very important points to their favor. 250,000 of
these teach ii es are toothily bearing witness to the
truth of our assertions and the dentoud is steadily
Vierensing.
We have also shuttle machines on howl for Tail?
prs ae4 Coach trimmers' use. Call and see us.
D. W. KOl3I•ON,
Main st„ Waynesboro', Pa.
IA6L AintIVALV
1 - 17 - ELSH has just received a full assortment of
yy Goods, in his line of business. his stock
consists in part, of all the latest. styles of Men's and
boys
EATS AWD 0425,
Men's, Women's, Mass's, Boy's and Children's
BOOTS, GAITERS, SHOES
an•l Slippers of every description. Ladies and
Misses
zat 2.) Z 3 a
Bonnet Frarne2,Trimminas, Sundowns end Hats
Dress Trimmings,. Hoop Skirts, Hair Nets, Hair
Gloves, Parasols, Sun Umberellus,
Fans, Ste.
Scho•i4 Blank and MiseellauJoub Books,Station-
Dry of all kinds; Notions and Fancy Goods.
All of which will be sold as cheat) as the cheapest•
Sept 20 • •l. It. NCII,Sti
SOAP-MAKING.
riONCENTRATED LYE, a full pound in 4
1 4,,,,/ box at 2b Cents. - tiA.l.' SOD A. in large or small
quantities, sold low by W, A. REID.
Fob 3
WANTED.-1 will exchange goods at a fair
market price ibr I.l,teori, LAUD, Butter, Eggs, Cot
ton Rags, small Oni.lis if delivered immediately,
kiinip 'Jeans, &c. W. A. HEW.
JACOB DRUM,
D. B. RUSSELL,
Ten o'clock and the echoes
Die out in the silent hall,
And I shade my eyes from the firelight
That shadows the parlor wall.
Over there in the corner,
A gleam in the dancing light,
Still precious beyond all telling,
Lie the letters I burn to-night.
The paiting is hard, my treasures,
It will darken my life, I know,
But the dream I have dreamed was a folly—
It is better to let you go.
And I brush from my throbbing temples
Tho heavy, clinging hair,
And-smother-my-anguislx v trying
To believe I do not care.
I gather them all together,
Not heeding, though tear drops roll,
Though the chime of a gladsome memory
Is ringing through my soul.
I gather them altogether,
My idols, which proved but clay—
Red flames-tenderly fold the'rn,
They are burning my heart away.
They drop from my quivering fingers
Into the dame's dull roar,
And I know that my dream is ended
• Forever, and evermore.
The dreaded task is over,.
Uttered the last good-bye,
And, the smoke of Ay burning incense
Floats up to the blind, black sky.
A THRILLING COURT SCENE
There lived in the city of P—, in the
State of Pennsylvania, a gentleman on the
shady side of sixty, who, by industry and
economy,.had amassed a large competence,
sustaining in all the work of life a character
above suspicion. He was the head of a fine
family, and noted for his eccentricities and
his peculiar style of-dre.ss. He was stoop.
shouldered, limped a little, and for ten years
previous to the time of the scene about to be
narrated wore a -coat that had,turned red
with age.
It was in the middle..of the afternoon of a
cloudy, dismal day in March .I.B—,when a
old man entered one of the banks in the city
named and presented a check for payment.
The Cashier took it and paid over to the
man $30,000, and he descended the steps
into the street.
In less than five minutes after he had left,
the check was discovered to be a Jorgcry
The proper authorities were immediately no-
tified by the Cashier, who gave them a de
scription, and, proseating him to the Cashier,
asked him if that was the man.
'That is the man; 1 cannot be mistaken,'
he replied. lie eyed him a little closer (be
ing near-sighted) and throwing up his hands,
he exclaimed, 'Mr. Rawlins (the gentletuas
alluded to in the opening of the narrative,)
can it be possible that you have committd
this forgery ?'
The old man protested his innocence, but
to no avail, for he was led away to prison to
await the sitting of the court:
Ifis friends wished to go his hail, lint he
obstinately refused to adept release, and lay
in jail three months.
The day of trial came, and, although de.
fended by the best of legal talent, the evi•
deuce against him was cone.usire, and he
was its,uvicted.
In. that state a day is set apart in which
the condemned receive their sentence,,
It was sentence day. The court room
was filled with spectators, and the friends
and relatives of the prisoner. It was a see
rowful scene, and among the rarticipaiits
was the wife and two lovely daughters of Mr,
Rawlins ; their beautiful faces swollen with
weeptng over the sad fate of their hither
Oue by one the prisoners descended from the
box and received their sentences.
Rawlins was next in turn. There is an
awful silence for some moments when the
Judge, in a choking, trembling voice, for he
was an intimate friend of the condemned,
said :
'Mr. .Rawlins
He arose and took a stand before the
edge.
The Judge proceeded : •llavo .you or
any one in thereon a reason why the sent
ence of the law should not be passed against
you ?'
Here a terrible silenes ensued, almost par
alyzing the hearts of many p anxious ft lends ;
when, all at once a prisoner in the box—a
young wan--,arose and 'said, have
`Your reasou; said the Judge.
'Because he is not guilty. 1 will ex
plain.'
What a mountain's weight of sorrow was
lifted from the hearts Of some by the. pro.
nunciation of these words not guilty.
'Proceed ! proaced !' cried a hundred
voices.
will. If you will send. some reliable
MaLl—pa officer or two— with too to a Certain
point on the' main highway leading out of
the city, under a flat: stone . ot peculiar shape
you will find $10,c)00 of tho aioney ; the
balance I have lost at faro;
They tuarted, followed by a crowd In
an hour—an hour of anxiety and ezo,itenient
they ieturacd, autitroduced ch..) money in
6nici the prisoner; (send to room
N. 15, at the Linder louse, on, A—
itrcer.. and you will liuti a hair trunk, which
yeu Wi bring to we.''.
WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTI, PENNSYLVANIA, THURSDAY MORNING, APRIL 28, 1870.
PC:O3EITIC)I3Ia.
THE ASHES OF LIFE,
-t a • a •• t "".starri,ll i%Teevcroslawrioor.
, k ,4
In due time the trun k was b rought into
court, and at the previous secret request of
the Judge, through the Sheriff, he and the
trunk were placed in one ante•room and Mr.
Rawlins in' another.
In a few minutes he, or Rawlins, no one
knew which it was', took 'his place in the
box, and the .fudge ordered the Sheriff• to
summon the Cashier, which he did.
lie now came in.
'Are you the Cashier of the bank in which
that !Meek was forged for $30,000 ?'
'I inn sir.'
'Before passing sentence upon this man I
would have you look at him and tell the
court that he is the man,' said the Judge.
'He is the man 1 . I cannot be mistaken al
though I am sorry to say it.'
Here the prisoner suddenly twitched the
whiskers from his face, threw off his bat
and coat, and stood in his shirt sleeves a
mere boy. The Cashier swooned, fell upon
the floor, and was carried out of the court.
room.
'I am the man,' said the prisoner 'who did
the forging of that check. I came from
En g,land-a-fe-w-marrths—ago-,—tieterntined-7to
make a raise. I knew the man called Raw
lins, and, knowing that he bore a good repu
tation, morally and financially, I determined
to personate him if possible; knowing that
the man would be looked at and not the
check. Hew. well I did it you all know; but
I could not see an innocent man suffer for a
crime that I bad committed.'
Rawlins-was-disebarged-and-borne-off—tri
umphantly on the shoulders of his Mends,
and in consideration of the honesty of heart
of the young man the Governor commuted
his sentence from twenty to two years, he
having been convicted on another charge. '
Enterprise Will Tell.
Enterprise will show itself and bring about
results. A few days since 'we had an illus
tration of this in the record of. a Boston
newsboy who plied his occupation in the Ar
my of the Potomac until he got a fair start,
then went to Washington and embarked in
the grocery business, and finally returned
home worth about thirty thousand dollars.
Every one, of course, cannot be a Boston
news-boy, nor have his chances, but it is en
terprise that seizes and takes every advan
tage of opportunities that ordinary humdrum
business' men don't see. 'lf things are
pushed,' said Sherman in his famous Rappa•
hannock dispatch, 'we can capture Lee's ar
my.' Then 'push things'•was the character
istic and laconic reply of Grant, and all know
the result. 'Push things' is the right way
to do in every branch of trade. The - wide.
awake, driving business man will accomplish
more in one day than another would do_in_a_
week.. Never wait for trade to come, but
meet it ball way. If you are manufacturing,
aim to' - turn out the best kind of work, do it
promptly and then tet people know it. Nev
er slight a job because it does not pay well,
but lot the walk speak fur itself' and prove
your assertions, and it will pay well in the
end. Shanl:l you be in a mercantile pur
suit, aim to have the best articles in the mir
ket for reaaunable prices, and though they
may not net a large profit to-day, increase of
trade will doulsle the gains on the morrow.
Be prompt, be energetic, be careful and Te
liable in business, and the louudatiou of a
prmalient success is achieved.
GOOD BYE.-It is a hard word to speak.
Some may laugh that it should be, but let
them. Icy . hearts are never kind. It is a
word that has choked many an utterance,
and started many a tear. The hand is clasped,
the word spoken, we part and are out upon
the ocean of time— we go to meet again where
God only knows. It m•ty be soon ; it may
be never. Take care that your '‘good bye'
be not a cold one—it may be the last one
you can give Ere you can meet your friends
'fit. - ;ain death's cold hand may have closed his
-eyes and chained his lips forever. Ab ! he
may have died in thinking that you loved
him not. Again it may be long separa..
tiou. Friends crowd onward and give you
their hand. flow do you detect in each
'good bye' the love that liagers' there ; and
how you bear away with you the memory of
th'ese parting words many, many days. We
mint often separate' 'rear not yourself away
with a careless boldness that defies all love,
but wake your last words —give the heart
full utterance—and if tears fall, What of it?
Tears are not unmanly.
A. certain amount of opposition is a great
help to a man. Kites rise against the wind,
and not with the wind; even a head wind' is
better than none. No man ever worked
his pas , -age anywhere in a dead calm. Let
OA nan wax pale, therefore, because of op
position, opposition is what he wants and
must have to be good for anything. Uard•
ship is the native soil of manhood and self.
reliance.
Be who cannot abide the storm without
flinching, lids down by the wayside to be
overlooked or forgotten
Every mall must patiently abide his timo
Ile must wait, not in listless idleness, not in
puerile dejection ; but io e instant, ,steady
Willing tits task, that when the occasion
comes he way he equal to the occasion, The
talent of suzeess is nothing. wore than doing
what you can do well, without a thought of
fame. If it conies at alt, .it will Come he
caut.e it is out sought cutter. 1t is a very in:
diseieet and troubtesome ambition which
cares so much about:tat-no, and is shouting
ever to hear tee echo of its own voice,
Many men dedicate La:airless to the devil,
and politics to the devil, mid shove religion
into the cracks and crevices of tittle ; and
make it the hypocritical out going of their
leisure and laznicss,
Whatever .he 'wind may do in winter, it
Cannot be deuicd that in ..Fpring it turns over
a new leaf.
The Green Spot.
The late Noah Winslow was fond of tell
ing the following incident of his mercantile
life, and be never closed the narration but
with swimming eyes :
During the financial Crisis and orash, of
'57, when heavy men were sinking all around
us, and banks were tottering, our house be
came alarmed in view of the condition of its
own affairs.
The partners--three of us, of whom I was
the senior—met in our private office for con
sultation. Our junior had Made a careful in
ventory of everything—of his bills receiva
ble and bills payable, and his report wag,
that twenty thousand dollamof ready money,
to be held through the pressure, would Save
us. WOout that we must go by the board
—the result was inevitable. I went out up
on the street, and among my friends, but in
vain.
Two whole days I strove, and begged, and
then returned to the oounting•house in de
spair. I sat .at my desk, expecting every
moment to hear our junior sounding the ter.
rible words,'our papers are protested when
gen - Mersa — entered — my — depart
nounced. I could not locate him nor call
him to mind any way.
'Mr. Winslow,' he said, taking a seat at
the end of my desk, '.I hear you are in need
of money.' -
The very face of that man inspired me.
with confidence, and I told him how I was
situated. '
'Make your individual note, for one year,
without interest, for / twenty thousand dollars,
and I will give you a check. payable in gold
.
for that 'amount.'
While I sat razing upon him in speechless
astonishment, he continued,
'You don't remember me; but I remem
ber you. I remember-when-you were a mem=
ber of the Superintending School Committee
of Bradford. [was a boy in the village
school. My. father was dead ; my mother
was poor ; and I was but a shabbily clad
child, -though clean. When our class came
out on examination day, you asked the qnes;
tions. I fancied you would praise and pet
the c*ldren of rich and fortunate parents,
and pass me by.
'But it was not as I thought. In the end
you passed by all the others, and came to me.
You laid your hand on my head, and told
me I did very well; and then you toad me I
could do better still if I would try. You
told me the way to honor and renoun were
open to all alike, no one had a free pass.—
All I had to do was to be resolved and push
on. That, sir, was the turning point of my
life. From that hour my soul has aspired,
and I have never reached a great good with
out_b less ing_you_in_my_heart—l_have—pros—
pored and am wealthy; and now I offer you
bare poor return for the soul wealth you
gave me in that by-gone time.
'l. took the cheek,' said Winslow, 'and
drew the gold and our house was saved.
and whereat the end of the year,' he ad
ded, 'do you suppose I found my not,-*-
'ln possession','he said,with streamlng eves,
'of my little orphaned granddaughter! Oh,
hearts like that man's are what bring earth
and heaven nearer together!'
Ladies sometimes do not treat their hue
bands as they ought. They not unfrequent
ly learn the value of a good husband for the
first time by the loss of him. Yet the hus
band is the very roof-tree of the house—the
keystone of the arch called home, lie is
the bread-winner of the family, its , defense
and its glory, the beginning and eliding of
the golden chain of life,which surrounds it,
its consoler, lawgiver, and its king. 'And
yet we know how frail is that life of the
husband and the father ! When he is taken
away who shall fill his place When ho is
sick, what gloomy clouds hover over the
house! When ho is dead, what weeping
agony ! Then poverty, like the murderous
assassin, breaks in the window, starvationi
like a famishing wolf, howls
. at the door.—
Widowhood is too °Pea an associate of sack.
cloth and ashes. Orphanhood too often
means desolation and woe.
FAMILY RELATIONS A.CCORDING TO THE
TALMUD.--If your wifo is of a short stature,
bow down to her and hear her words in ref
erence to domestic as well as worldly-affairs.
The husband should ever be anxious that
the proper respect ho paid to his wife, be
cause the house is blessed only for her sake.
Honor your wife, and you will be blessed
with richness.
Good and bad luck, pleasure and grief, joy
and sorrow are in the hands of the wile
Who takes unto himself a wile brings luck
to the house or a yawning gulf.
I have found a woman who is wore bitter
than death—u bright jewel or an oppressive
burden— Sanh. 100.
Who lives without a wife knows no plea
sure, no , bliss, no blessing.
Who has to Wank su much to his wife will
not only treat her -
wall the utmost regard
and respect,' but make , her position in the
hoUse fully equal to his own.,
A wan without a wife is no man at all.
In one of Mr. Lincoln's ftrst cases ho ap
pe.ared to defend a man, accused of murder.
Circum s tantial evidence told strongly against
the prisoner, but haying suddenly and unex
pectedly r"coived succor, Mr. Lincoln, arose
and said that as the ease stood, he could not
look for anything but a verdict against his
client, but he asked, permission to put a
new and very material witness upon the
statid. Ho then called his witness, volt°
proved to be the murdered man.
Since the story has been told of how Judge
Breeltinridgo married a girl whom ho saw
jump over a , rail fence with a pail on her
hea;l,'all tho girls in Oraog county, New
Yoik, aro said to spend their time in watch
ing the road, and wheuever they sco a car
riage approach with a man in it, they seize
their pails and go fora fence
Tifek upon Travelers.
One of the most wonderful robberies ever
perpetrated—wonderful, at least, when one
considers_ the means at the disposal of the
robber—was the achievement of a French
man, who, for a long time after it, was rec•
oguized in his profession as 'the Cog of the
Bandits.
His claim to this title was based upon a
single exploit—the robbing of a diligence,
which feat be not only plaoned f but carried
into successful execution, without any as
sistance whatsoever. To do, this he made
all his arrangements with the most careful
completeness, and, we may be sure, fixed at
night for the attack When the coach carried
a freight worth robbing.. He studied closely
the country through which the journey was
to be made, and selected a point on the road
where there was a very steep' hill,' with
hedges and underwoed at either
.. side: lie
then procured a *umber of stout sticks about
the length and thickness of the barrel of a
gun, These he stuck inte,the hedges, let
ting the ends of them' appear, as if they were
the muzzles of guns directed by . persons in
‘mbrtrscatie - b - ehind the As the dill
jiff.
gence now eame toiling slowly up the hill,
the driver aaw a man standing on the ; pat 6
way, and gesticulating violently. On ap
proaching nearer, the man could be heard
distinctly haranguing them. 'Ready ! Obey
orders! No firing if there be do resistance!'
And then the robber, walking slowly for.
ward, stopped the horses, told the guard to
h'
b- ,own _is face aid hands
on the ground, and that no violence would
be offered to him. He then went to the
door of the vehicle, and assuring the ladies,
who were screaming for help ; that thoweed
be under no alarm, begged each passenger,
as ho stepped out to hand him his purse,
and-then to lie down on face and bands
near the guard. While all this drama was
being enacted, the robber-chief kept shout
inc, to his assistants not to fire uotil A they
should get his signal. Thus one by one be
handed all the passengers out, each giving
up his purse as if it were a ticket, and then
going and lying upon the wet grass aide by
side with the guard. When the diligence
was empty, our highwayman retired with all
the valuable property ho desired to possess
himself of, and escaped through the wood.
The most amusing part of the story was. that
amongst the traveers were several officers
fully armed, who surrendered their swords
at discretion, and joined - the other dupes on
the grass. It is well to add that the robber
was ultimately apprehended, and the greater
part of the stolen property was found • upon
him.•
WHAT_ El APPSNED-111—A TUNNEra =-A - few
days ago, on board the Express Train of the
Philadelphia and Reading Railroad, bound
iouthward, - under the care of conductor Free•
coin, were a young lady and gentleman, seat•
ed together, bearing the appearance of a ema-,
ple recently married, or wishing most hear.
ily they were. It was observed by the pas
sengers that the lady had oa her lip a bit of
black court plaster—probably she had a sore
lip. This was noticed before the train had
entered the tunnel at Phoenixville, which is
1950 feet. Atter the train had passed the
tunnel the passengers saw another sight !
Per lo the court plaster, by some bees po
elle, had changed lips, and now the young
man had it bad. The mysterious changing
of the plaster became the subject of conver
sation among the other passengers and all on
board indulged in a hearty laugh, as light
began to dawn upon their wonderings Light
began also to dawn upon the minds of the
couple, when the train stopped at Phoenix
ville, and violtut blushing ensued. The
question is, 'What happened in the tunnel?'
Cputomer (to a clerk in a hardware store)
'Show me u small, low•prioed shears.'
Clerk (feeetiously)—'Perhaps you mean a
pair of shears.'
Customer (severely)—'l moan precisely
what I raid.'
Clerk . (definantly, opening a specimen ar
ticle)—'Are there not two blades here? and
don't two make a pair ?'
Customer (triumphantly)—•You hug two
legs, does that make you a pair of man ?
The shears were done up in profound si.
Inane.
A Baltitnoro correspondent writes :--
'Thunder sours milk and kills oysters. Yon
may load a vessel to its utmost capacity, start
for market, and ono good round clap of
thunder will kill every oyster in the' vessel
immediately. Pounding with an axe upon
the neck of a vessel when oysters•are there
on, or pounding upon the sides of a vessel
with a heavy weight, will kill every oystar
that feels the jar. But thunder fetches
them the first, pop.'
An old negro preaching in a Maine town,
recently condemned the general tendency
of men to wish they bud others opportuni-
ties to do good, a►nd asked. •What would
thd hummin, bird do %rid the eagle's wings ?
A•nd whet could de eagle do Rid de hutuinin
bud's wings ? ifredren, use de• wings of
faith God has gibbon you, and God will care
for both de eagles,, and de hutuinio bird's
•
is Dayton, Miss Shirk, ono of the females
who rode in a Valandighaiu cart iu his day,
under so inscription .White Husbands or
Nape,' has married an unadulterated African
named Leo [(lcily, to the everlasting disgrace
of the tiarkey.—Detroit Tribune.
An Irishman, in Wabash, Ind, a few
days since, laid to two dishes of oysters, six
large cups of (wilco, one down' bulled eggs,
five rusks, and half a pund of busier, at one
weal.
Mr. Punch knows a young wan whole so
lazy`that be not even labor under 'an
inipressiou.
99600 3'ei' -Wear.
An Irish Letter.
The Irish have a reputation for a rather
free misuse of the English language—at least
numerous 'bulls' are credited t 4► them.—
Here is one from an old exchange, beihg a
letter from Aunt Peggy in • Ireland to her
herhew Patrick in America,. announcing the
death of hie uncle:
DEAR NEDREW.-1 hive not written to
you since my last before now, because as we
have moved from our former place of living,
& I did not know where the letter would find
you, but I now with pleasure take , my pen
to inform you of" the melancholy news of the
very sudden death of your only living' uncle
.Kilpatrick, who died very. suddenly last week
after a lingering illness of five months. The
poor man was in- violent convulsions the
whole time of his sickgess, laying quiet and
speechless, all the while talking incoherent.
ly, and calling for water. I had no oppor• '
tunity of informing you of his death sooner,
except I had wrote to you by last post, which
went off two days before be died, and then
you would have postage to pay. lamat a
loss to tell what his death was occasioned by;
but I fair was occasioned - 4 - hisli - : - srf,ickness,
for ho was never ten days together during
the whole time of his confinement; and I °be
lieve his sickness was occationed by eating
too much of rabbits, or peas and gravy stuffed
with rabbits, I can t tell which ; but be that
as it will, as Boon as he breathed his last, the
doctors gave over all hopes of .his recovery.
I need not tell you anythiog about_his
age, for you know that December next he
would have been twety-five years old lacking
ten months, and had he lived till then he
would have been just six months dead. Hitt
property now devolves to his next of kin,
who all died sometime ago ; so that I expect
it will be divided between us ; and
,you know
his property was very considerable; for-he
had a fine, estate, which was sold to pay his
debts and the remainder was lost on a horse.
race but it was the opinion of everybody as •
the time, that he would have won the race,
if the hers° he run against had not been too
fast for him. -I -never saw a man, and the
doctors all said ,so, that observed directions
and touk medicine better than he did. Fie
said he had as lief drink gruel as wine, if it
only had the same taste, and would as soon
take jalap as to eat beef steak, if it only had
the same relish. But, poor soul I. he will
never eat or drink more. And now you have
not a single living relation in the world, ex
cept myself and our two cousins, who were
killed in the late war. I can't well on this
mournful subject, and seal my letter with
black sealing wax- r and put on it,your uncle's
coat of arms 4o I beg you not to break the
seal when you open the latter; and doolopen
eel till three or four days after you re.
ceiveit by which time you will be prepared
for these sorrowful tidings. When you come
to this place, stop, and do_not real any more
till my uext.
Your affectionate Aunt,
PEG OWEN.
P. B. Don't write me again till you re
°cite this.
Saxe gives the following advice to the
rising generation :
In going to parties just mind what you are
Beware of your head anti take care , of your
hat, • .
Lest you find that a favorite son of your
mother
Has an ache in the one and a brick in the
other,
The young man in Connecticut wha kiss
ed the girls at the station, tbiokink they
were his Platers, bus come to grief. He saw
a finely dressed female at New Haven, quiet
ly walked up to her, embraced- and kimied
her, when he was greeted with, 'Golly ! what
you 'bout dar,' and beheld one of Africa's
darkest . brunettes. He retreated amid a
thunder of applause.
An urchin of six or seven years went into
a barber shop in _Racine, Wisconsin, and or
dered the barber to cut his hair as close as
the shears would do it. lie was asked if his
mother ordered it that way. 'No,' said he,
'but school commences next week, and we've
,got a school infirm that pulls hair, and Pro
bound to fix her this term, you bet.'
A resident of Columbus, Ohio, is said to
have eaten at a single meal, a few days ago,
in order to win a bet, an opossum weighing
fourteen pounds and two loaves of bread.—
Tne•aceotnpany tnetits were a bottle of catsup,
six glasses of gin, five glasses of beet, and
two cellos orsalt.
A 'big loditte' strayed away from his camp
and
,was lost. Ligi; ing the way back, he
was asked, 'lndian lost ?"No,' said he dis.
dainfuliy, 'lndian no •lost—wigwatn lost.'—
Striking his breast he exeldinaed,
here.'
'Well, Patrick, what have you to say a.
bent stealing the pig ?"Well, ycr honor,
you see it was jilt this: Pig took upon him
to blupe in my bit uv garden for thra nights,
and 1 jist sayzo.d. him for vint
A person who was sent to prison for mar
ryiug two wives, :mewed hitubelf by saying
'that when he haa Sue wtte she fought him,
but when be got two they nught cacti other.'
'Vat vedder yid it be Nadal; r asked a
Germano' bis uolgiator. •Vdd I don't kuuW,
vot you tiuk ?' aux it will no. veuder as
you tiuk."Vell, deu 'loft so too'
Why Li a dog with a broken leg like a boy
at arithweric C Itteause tie [met/owe three
and. earrios nue
,( ' - iThowell lady is trust.: an anti Baptist
that she ma% even us ippe4 'candles.
•
why is aWe -hem r tike a Juieklayer r
Beatu.A ho raises sc,iley
NUMBER 42