❑ 114 . . • T . • t ' .; . 4., II ki V • 7 " ;L7 •2. ..• . 4 ,i i , r, ) IL - i •• - - - " \..! ' ' r"- . 9. • t U . •;} .?" - - ~ 0 - • 4 4 . • . . . rf • - •- • • 7 r . 1 .4, -* P7• 1110 V14 43:11 01k,-_..,. , • . • • ". • _ • .y. 1+ .+, ++, • . ci • amp I OLUMII, XXII. Y CV U BOOFLAND'S GERMAN BITTERS, HOORAH'S GERMAN THIC, Prepared by Dr. 0. M. Jackson, PMladelphtst - Their Introduction Into ads country from Germany Occurred in IsQ' THEY CURED YOUR. FATHERS AND MOTHErS, And will cure yon and your children. They ere 3E siI I entirely different from the many preparations now in the country called Bitters or Tonics. They are no tavern prepa re' ion. or anything tike one; but good, honest, reliable medicines. They ere The greatest known r etried * for Liver Complaint. DY.SPEPSIk Nervone Debility, J'A.UN ppm, Diseases of the Kidneys. ERUPTIONS OF 114 E SKIN, and all Dlf4efuteg arlalnx from a Moor. dered Liver, Stomach, or IMPURITY OF TIIB BLOOD. Constipation, Flatulence, Inward Fibs. Fullness of Blood to the Head, Acidity of the Stomach, Nausea, Heart. burn, Die-cast for Food. T'ifiness or Weight in the Stomach. Sour Eructations. Sink ing or Flattering at the, • t_of_the_Stomactf,Swint. ming of te'e Head, Harried or Difficult Breathing., Fluttering Co ... n ._, at the Heart, Choking or •"113itifooat-i-ag Sensations when in a Ly- I. n , f Posture. Dimness of Vision, Dots or Webs before the Sight, Dull Pain• in fife Head, Deficiency of Perspiration, Yellowness of the Skin and Eyes. Pain in the Side. • Back, Chest, Limbs; e tc.. Sudden Flushes of Heat, Burn ing in the Flesh, Conet int Imaginings_ - of Evil and Great Depression of Spirita, All these indicate disease of the Liver or Digestive Organs, combined with impure blood. Hoofland's German Bitters is entirely vegetable, and contains no liquor. It Is a compound. of Fluid Et. • • tra.-ts. The Roots, Herbs, and Barks from which these extracts are made C) are gathered i n Germany.' All the ra ted from virtues -- - are extracted from them b a_sc_l_e_nllll-c._ ---ellemi . me 1 extracts are then forwarded to this country to be used expressly for the manufacture of these Bitters. There is no alcohol lc substance of any kind.used _ha compounding the Bitters,hence it is the only Bitters that can be used 3.a - _ - _ -- -cases where-alcoholic -stimulants - aro - • -not-advisable. _ goofland's_German -Tonic ID a combination of all the ingredients of the Bitters, with pons Santa Crass Ruin, Orange, etc. It is used for the same diseases as the Bitters, in cases whore same pure alcoholic. stimulus is required. You will boar in ;wand that these remedies are entirely different from any others advertised for the cure of the diseases named, o those being scientific preparations of medicinal extracts, white the others are mere decoctions of rum in some form. The TONIC is decidedly one of the most plea. Sant and agreeable remedies ever offered to the _public. Its taste it exquisite It is a pleasure to take it, whits its life-giving, exhilarating, and medicinal qualities have Wind it to be known as the great eat tonics. DEBLLITY. . . Pere h MO nieniefne canal In Meng ir s igrerMeak Enters or Tonic -in•iser of Debility, Fli .tad impart a tone e - ad vigor 1 o the whore system, strengthen the appetite, cause an enjoyment gf the fond, enahre the s'o Mach to digest it, purl] y the Maud, give a goad. so u nd, healthy complexion, eradicate the yellow tinge from the eye, impart a bloom to the cheeks, aml clutage the patient from a shirri•breathrel, emaciated, asbak, and neresur inratid. to a full-Jared, emu, and vitrvotes persmt. Weak and Delicate Children are made strong', by using; the illitters or Tonic. In tact, they are Family Medi-. clues. They can be administered whit perfect attrety to a child three months old, the most delicate temale, or a man of ninety. • These Remedies are the best Blood Purifiers - ever knoumv, mid will erne, all diseage.s resulting from L a bad blood Keep you, blood pure; le , ep your Liver in order : keep ymir digestive organs in a sound, healthy eoncittinn. by Ihe use Of these rented wo and no disease wilt erer area if port. The bes , men v n ate country recommend them. If -years of honest reputation g o far anytloay you must try those preparations. MOM. lIOS. GEO. W. WOODWARD, ChiefJustico of the Supreme Court of Pronßylvanta. Pin LADULPIIIA, March 113. 1867. !Snit " Hoofland's German Ili 'zees'' ,s not an nalox• tenting berry', ge, but is a good tonic, u• Jul in disnrders clt the digesizre mgana, and of great In•nefil in cases of ekbiliele and want of nervous action, in the system Yours truly. • . FROM HON. JAMES TMOMPSON, Judge of the Supreme Court of Pennstlvanh. Pm LADIMPIII•, Arrh 28. 18118. .A ... I con Rider 6 , ifitooliantro Gorman flit tent 99 a ratuable medionc In ease of attacks of In digestion or Dyspep , in. I can certify thistrom my experience 01 It. 'Yount. with respect, JAMES 'IIII.I6IIIPSON. PROM REV. JOSEPfI 7). KENNARD, D. D., Pastor of the Tenth Baptist Church, Philadelphia. Da. JACKSON—DEAR 13111.1-1 hoer been frequently requested to connect my name milh reearnmendattons of ((if/trent kinds of medicines, but regarding the practice as out of my appropriate rph , rea have in all cases de dined; but with a clear proof in various instances, and particularly in my own family, of the usefulness of Ur. Holland's German Bitters, I depart for mice from say usual course, to express my full conviction Mat for gile. eral debility of the system and 4.llmi:illy for Liver , 114 T Complaint, it la a safe and valua , le -preparation. —TO sante eases it may fail; but loreany„ I doubt not, ii will Ite wry beneficial to those who surfer from the shave causes. Yours, very respect/Win, J. H. ICES.V AUG, Eighth, Lana CaLtes serest. . . CAUTION .froofTaturs German Remedies are counterfeited. Tho genuine &nue the signature of C. NI. Jackson on the front of the outside %Dropper of each _bottle, anti the name of the article blown in each bottle. AU Wien ars counterfeit. Price of the Intteen, $1 00 per bottle; Or, a halt - dozen fur risii -00. Pelee h a l f o Tonle, $5O por bottle; Or, a dozen for $ 1 50. The tonic le put up In quart bottles, Beesi/ece that it is pr. ffoojland's German ReineNes Mat are so universally usoll and so highly reams. 31D emended; and do not allow the Druggists to induce you to lake , inything else that he way say sujust as goo d, . because A. wakes a tarprprojit on th These Revue , uses will be sent by cypress to any locality upon apptint. ton to the PRINCIPAL OFFICE, ALT`THE GERMAN MEDICINE STORE, No. 631 ARCH STREET, Philadelphia. WAS M. EV All 3, . ... . . - . • . Proprietor r Formerly C. N. JACKSON & CO. These -Remedies - are for sale by Drags sists,Storekeepers, and Medlelneldeale -ra everywhere. . Do not-forget 81 , examine wit 1768 article yea boa ail enter 88 pd the grauitas. • soil 25-'6B. ALL dEO. W. WOODWARD. WA)YES,BORQ';,_ fig, A,N,p4lN:gou,NT_LigNiviiiy, =M:=MEI rwcs3Erwra.,elLxJ.. 7DV, GIRL WITH THE CALICO DRESS. A fig for your upper-ten girls, With their velvets and satins and laces, Their diamonds and' rubies and pearls, And their milliner figure and faces;„ They 'may shine at a party or ball, Embl vineil,with half they pissens; But give me, in place of them all, • My girl with 'the calico ilres9. She is plump as a partrilge, and fair As the rose.in ifs earliest bloom; , Her beth will with ivory compare, And her breath with the clover perfume; Her step is as free and as As the fawns whom the, hunters hard press And h-r eye is as soft and as bright—, My girl with the mien ?mos. S'ie is eheerful, warm hearted and true, And is kind to her fattril arid mother; She studies how much she can do For her sweet little sister and brother; If you want a companion (or lire, ' To comrort. enliven and bless. She is just the right tern as wife— My gill with the chlien tivss. % oualiwtt. By MARY DELL Our own ! What can we call our own, The flower we cull to The bird, whose song we love so well, Pass soon from us away. The heart whose friendship most we prise, We cannot call our own-- Change o'er the heart doth quickly pass, --Andiriondship all is flown. Our youth be longeth hut to time, Who stea s it soon away,' And leaves instead the wrinkled brow, An oc. e o sr yer gray What is our own? Ah, naught of earth, -Our-life,-our_yout h, ourjoy— Tir! flowers that bloom around our path, Earth's care and blight destroy. But there is something naught can steal, lf welcomed to our heart— No ch .nging Ones, and shifting scenes, Can cause it to depart. Immortal Truth. we here with us ' May if we but try, And make it ours to•sh..re our time, And immortality. JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS . LODS'I ER ISLAND A slavdor iz like a hornet o if yu kant kill it dead the rust blo, yu better not strike at it. Politeness iz a shrewd way folks baz ov Elm ter i pg.; thernselfs I wake this •thstinkshun between char aktrr and rrpulashun—reputaqhun iz what the work: thinks' 4,v us, ehatakter iz what the world Avows no US What a ruilk,lus farce it iz to be continual. ly on the hunt f r peace and quiet Diu wan ever yet increased hiz reputaßhun hi c‘intvakiiitting Anxiety alwus sieps•ou itself. Silence, like darkness, iz genczally safe There'iz only two things that i kno ov that a nan'wont brag ov, one iz lieiog and tuther tz jealousy. It takes 6ranes to wake a smart man, but good luck often makes a /among one: °pi/ivies are like other vegetables, worth just what they will retell • I think most men had rather be charged with malice than making a blunder. Love cuts up all sorts of monkey •sbines, it makes a fool sober and a wize wan frisky. I don't believe in total depravity,. every man haz sututbing in him to show that God made him. I suppose that one rearm whi the 'road to ruin' iz broad, iz tew aceorust.tdate the grate amount try travel in that direck, , hun. I think i had rather hear .a man brag air, ni himself, than tew near him brag all the tune ov sum one else—for i think i like vaulty a leotle better than i do siektotausy. A humbug iziike a bladder, good for noth ing till it is blotted ap, and then ain't good for nothing after it iz pricked. A bigg nose is sed tew he a sign of genius -if a Luau's genius lays in biz nose, i would say the sign wuz a good one. Vanity iz seldom rualishous. A womau (like an echo) will have the last word. Put an Englisliman into the garden of .I \4, Eden, and, he wou find . fault • with the whole biassted coma o—put a Yankee ia, and he will see.whare e could alter it to advantage— put an Irishman io, and he would want tew boss the thing—put a Duehman in, and he would proceed at once to plant cabbage. When a man is squandering his estate, even those who are getting it,. call him. a ghoul.: , Neu mourn for what they hay lost—wim • :• ;. :. men for what they hain't got. I jUdge ov a man'aslrte:w entirely ?hi: his phasionif-: - it' is a grate deal easier tew be a goad dove than a decent serpent. . . There aremenny ways to find• out how honest a - man' may be, but there aint no way. to find out ' the Went ov i his vanity. •,. •• • • ;,• • •; 1 - • ',l' \ :‘ Xxxcioz?,rsericl-e•lat we•wospekiaori, to , • A lie la like . a oat, it Etexere9,lpeit,4l-yu in a itr'ai r tihtlitie: - •,- Natarc iz : ,k,itid inn ghe . '" couldn't 'well I , fford to make ne--:perfekt T and so- ebe •made„ua.blind, to our failiega. ; , • ,±„.. Smut dy.i6 . f.leart yu,wantotu.:3-fakn _ha 7 2 6a - tart thete:ain'toc-hrtitin , natuf in -a niiee " ' ' • Friendshipl2 -piesply 'the 'gallantry of telt • _ . interest.,. , Boyare Ov the,. ` man ; ; with, the half stilt eyit4 7—he ailA!d reaming:- . .Exp0enc.e..m.a.14449 tiloft) timid Dieu th'ao it duz - -- • - „ Advice &lir:4 , " "aup ply alwps e,stipg . 4o thq depaauFl.: , , . . . .Oue ov the safest.and most successful tal leots i kno ov , iz to.be u, gond Fools are the whet-staties ov society ' Better Make rt . weak man jimir ciaetny than your friend. Curiosit-y . iz the instinct of wisdom. Those who boeumdisgusled , and withdraw' from the niu-tn't forgit nne thing, that the world will tit them, a lung time before they will tiiruitthe world. Put man down (Cir we) az a vain and sel fish critter, all his talk and .ackshuns re • the contrary ;notwithstanding, nevelikelesa,' to wit, verily. amen Vs'ize men Idff every , good chance they ken suit. Lang is only a weakness in phools. I giv the world ere - lilt for a grate deal more honesty than it can show. • henever Gd a r3al handaum woman engaged i v th e 'wimmins' rtf., , hts bizzi neBB,' then i am going to iak - e my bat under my arm and jine the procession. Gratitude is a dikt,_ arTd debts, iz paid bekauze we are obliged to, not bekauqe we love to Praise that ain't deserved iz no better than slander. Cheap Pleasures. • Pid you ever study-the cheapness of some pleasure ? Do yoe know hew little it takes to make' a multitude -happy Such trill •s as a nod, a word or a smile does the work. A widow lives in the neighborhoed who is the mother of hall a dozen children, Send them a peck of sweet apples and they will be happy. A ohild.bas lost bis arrow—all the world to him—and he .mourns sadly ; help -him to find - it or - make - him soother, quickly will the sunshine play over hiskober tace. A boy has:done as mueb_as_he_can_do -to pile up a load of wood; assist him for a few amateurs, or speak a pleasant word to him, and be forgets his toil, and works away without minding it Your apprentice has broken a mug, or slightly_ injured a piece of work. Say syou seoundrel4.and be feels tali citable , Oar remark, •I'ln , r•orry, - . and he will try to do better. You employ a wan; pay him eheet I ully,.and speak a pleasant word to him, and be learies your house with. a con tented heart. to light...up his . own hearth with smiles an - dladness. PreaAhre is cheap. .Who will not hestew libeially f It there are smiles, sunshine acid flowers, all about us, let us not grasp them with a miser's fist, and lock.them up in our hearts. No; rath• er let us' take them about us, in the tot of the widow, among the groups of children, iu the crowded marts where .men. of business congregate, in our familles,•and ev,erywhere. We make the wretched happy, the discon. tented cheerful, the afleted resigned, at an exceedingly cheap rate. Who will refuse to do so'? A TRUE CuitisTlAN.--This story— good to read in these days of hu , :iness avarice— is told of Nantucket a generation ago: It was a very' severe winter,•and the hat% bar had been frozen tour weeks. The coal in store had long been exhausted, and there was'much suffertng from want of fbel Eieb the fences had been toru•down,and burnt to keep up the scanty supply .of wood :Co the great delight of the townspeople the- ice broke up one fine morning. and a schooner laden with . coal was seen approaching There was much excitement, and before the vessel was moored4 . coal dealer boarded . her and eagerly addressed the honest Quaker shipper, Captain Grlfurd, 'Well, Uap'eo,' said ha, 'you've about -hit it this et also: I guess I'll have to take y'ur hul9.cargo. S'pose you'll want tnore'n the usual $7 a ton. \Val, I like to du the squat thing by au old friend, and I'll give you $l2 a ton for it? 'Friend,' said Captain Gifford. 'thee can have one ton at my coal if thee likes at $B, but only one ton, all must have a chance.' Just then one of the richest men in the place joined them, saying 1. Want ten tot's •of your Coal ar your own price—came it. I have. buffo:A etiou ,, lt tor :once Ile received the EatUO answer, and so did all-11121.3 ton fur each fam ily, and $8 as On price of each ton. .No love of gain, Da solicitation', •nu regard for individuals could move honest Captain Git ford. A persistent young man r of Hartford, who was opposed in his inclination to marry the girl of bis choice by her parents, at last suc ceeded in winning a reluctant consent, and tire date of the marriage ceremony was fixed. After the arrival of the company upon the happy day appointed, the youngster gratiely proceeded to addrais the astonished assembly thusly `We. are much obliged .for this gath• eriug on our account, butietine suggest that there is Do necessity for any further busi ness, as we Were married tbriie weeks ngo A lady, while out berryingott North Gran ville, New York, came-upon a corpse with .the. throat cut , from ear to ear She drop : , ped her pail.of fruit--cud rushed. for the vi 1.406,, .406,, who at one repalied• to the seeee to fiud that the corpse had come to life and itin 6ff' will thebellies.. Tbe elevei rogue hakutained•his, neck ,nini . hinatit wit 4 berry juice. • Goctl ,words fo r the young- 4 dinner's ready! " ANIA, - ,_ - 0111DAY SKIPTEMB ,„ ; • •• Jur: ir: i r mit; A Beautiful Incident • • Soma . .three ur.. four., yeare'- ,ego a, -young mattple,namedi Fisk came tuOis pith, (In cliretrapoTis)-and the' kiiisbrind embarked in the grileety: trade: hatiing sercirel thilasitid dollars capital-at-hie-moo mend,'' 'fie hael=sett 13anadit some time ; previously with a,amall fortune, hat disastrous speculations in the oil regionis LA diminished • his stook of ready money, and his business here , proviiie , ,aleo unprofitable he was forced th Sell out at a sacrifice,• and found himself left almost pent lees: . At this juncture hin noble.bearted, wife minis l'orwara, putit - er oven fair shiniaer "to the wheel, and the twain began the bktelbr life again with unimpaired eheerfulnesa, and zealous 'determination Mrs' Fisk .. a'ssutned much •of the responsibility, and -nondtieted the business in her own home. • She tented a store in Miller's Block, bought and sold all kinds of miscellaneous , goods, pertodienls, toys in their seaso'n, and'whatever noUld 'be hontritt low and sold at a good profit. he made long journeys Ea,t, visited the manic. facturera, bought. goods 'away down,' and by • , ell . ing, them, bel qv what was asked by other dealeis, hiiolt. 'up 'a floulishina"Vacie. as mani -I.f on readers can testify of thjir.onru knowl , edge• Thus matters wearon until one day about a week ago during business hoars, and whle the shop was full of eustomere,_a dove flew lightly into 'the store 'through the door I r,i7 7 ery one present was astonished and the mire so because the dove appeared to be rather in the pursuit of some purpose ,than frightened and lost. It did not flutter . wildly shoal.; bet-moved "•enti over the heads of the cus _ . touters and the shop people:- till-it- tram- to Mis lef.-k, when it .perebeci:eonfidingly on her shoulder, rested for a few moments; turn log its ,rnild beaming eyes full upon,her_fa . ce, and then flattered 'out d away as quietly as it came Of course many retharks were made eon.; earning the ineident,.but it had almost been' forgotten when, next daya letter came : to Mr and Mrs. from Canada, announcing that, they had been left a legacy of $15,000 in gold ! _ . Felling, out. their business here, for which they received nearly 68,000 'cash,' the light hearted couple left tat night fur Canada, followed by the hearty:goo& Will of their - many friends to this city. To some minds this little incident may appeai of od Odle quenee, but others will have pleasdre-inlbe lieving that the gentle dove indeed brought a message to the faithful and' true-hearted wife, although she was not privileged to uo• derstand it.—Saturday Eucning Mirror. An Omaha. Goose Elite , The Omaha Republicait. tiatiOhe' following aceount of a 'goose race' that came 'Off! in this city : . Over two thousand people gathertid on the banks above the pond, and along the lower end of Farnham street, yesterday, to witness Bob Hart and Sully in their great - Wash-tub goose feat.. Promptly av-the advertised time, flirt made •his appearance, followed by his competitor, for the golden peanut -offered, : by Colonel "Hanford Each sat in an ordinary wash 'tub,' to which was attached six pairs of geeso, driven and guided by an ordinary ear riagowbip. The most deafening applause,- shouts and yells greeted the contestants as they were Owed into the pond. Striking the Faiiihabi street bank, both started side by side, talking and urging on the feathered racers the same as a jockey would do in a trial ofspeed among horses. Half way across the pond Sully's team switched off and bolted for the weeds, giving Bab the, lead by three , and -a. half lengths. Recovering his course Sully made splendid headway, gaining rapidly on ~the Hart outfit. One of his geetse:hostever, av: tempting to dive,•kicked a rear goose in 'the eye. - - The kicked bird at once cackled, his de fiance and soon demoralized the entire team to such an eztent that victory was impossi ble. Flan would have come in, 0. K. poly for his' `wheel geese'balki ug badly and ,up , setting the tub. Sully began laughing at his opponent's disaster. when- his- team made. a sudden right,flink movetnentwwhieh left the driver in the mud. The.assembled multitude yellyi the louder at•the accident/4. Righting their _crafts, ,both parties made for shore, leaciing tfieir seams. 13uth took the prize. While Thad Stevens was a young lawyer, he - once - bad a - . Cage before 'n biti-teinpersil judge of au °bionic Pennsylvania Court Under what he considered a very erroneous it' was decided aXainst him ; where upon-Ito - threw dowb his; bdoks and plaited up his hat in a high state of indig,nation,'Und was about to leave the court -roots, roMttering, imprecations all' around him The jaitge • aigtitened himself to full height; -as sumed •an air 'of offended majesty; and asked Thad if he , meant •to express his • contempt or this Court ?! Thad turned- to him very. deferentially; medna respectful bow, nod re plied, in feigned ernizemerit-o.E.cp.rees xpy contempt for this Court I. No, ror 1 Lam try. lag to concen/ it, your Hoon;,addiag, as-ho turned to leave,'hut I find it trashed hard to du it.' -A lawyer is a eertaideity;uot remarkable for •his cleanliness of persou, appeared at party a while ago with a rose in his button hole, . .'W.here do you suppose it•eame trom ?' said he to a brother lawyer who was admir log it The latter looked up and down the entire length of the questioner,' and With great deliberation responded, 'Why, I sup pose itreir there.' • Lost —Somewhere between sunrise:and swage., two golden hours, each-set with. sizes ty diamond minutes. lio_te;sterd _isAffered for they are lost forever. Ao exchapge_oalle the Grechurbood beak 44M1/1011. An Adroit'gfAr: One daY4lg(TlNtuan;9oeCit a6:•theitoro Rtkio„Utkr,d, , Pan , tinder - his tirM,, *He . puriliased a neokq9,,, for - arid,ittliti"iol4d -perinissiOn- tOti leave - 1114 Vet ttririlelnkifidit few errands down town. Old Hardman—it • dealer , . . ifew- 'and) sebbart'hafid. 41Othing tuutPP•objeotiort ie. a 'violin, paid Op!,, gontle9;ja,e, tpriie - iery thi) t hy j nn old Italian; who died, at my father's itiiuicr. I beg go* to be.oareful'of - Mr. Hardmaopronised, aed l tto fk ireer of the prehion4 ViOldepate Tewerl noii;'wile th d old'etithined'eafer was very deeply engaited in SellIni!; - isuiif lbf shoddy_ for-bang•nr Prusian - Tricot ) ketran ger !ehteretl =the' Atore-l-a 'ten:tartishly well dressed man, .with t distingueated looktniEhe Fiß4p 11 P9°.:4 sh O. if i*P 4 - as no one was near to prevent , trteng.,w. comer - lAltriped smiled and :openeci the box, and Oak oat the instfuritetit— verfdaik itad ancient lookin4 one. I , cried flafdrr.an, when be heard the sowod of th'e' viol; 'Whit fOr ,Yótt "tbuela •dat, eh ' •••, o'lo The,atranger explained that he wain, pro: fessor.—that he was a leader of an orchestra —and that he could never see a,vielie out trying it And then he drew the bow aeress the strings, paying a few' passages of a fine Rid German waltz. ' ,z _y_silutiLhe_okiit4_afier he barl_ru ;011: fingers over thelostriunOot "avihiie; 'that is the best violin ever esti! •uTtieni's not 'a beater one in the city—a ,perfeetly gentiine ( lid Cremona I Lwil ._ire:_ •ott_a—kanti . - . ' dollars fair it ' . . Hardman said it was, net his. . 'l'll give you'albundred:and• fifty I'; Two hundred!', ~., . . , , Hardrpan was forced to explain how else vtolia cable to he lett in the store. • Tne stratuer had taken out his pocket book,• drawn forth .two one hundred dollar bank notes. He put them back,. remarking: must have that.violin if money will buy it. When the owner roams will pit ask him to wait .for we?. If he eantiot.wait ask him to meet me,here at six ,o'clock. If., he Cannot do that, ask him to call at the office of the Treasurdr of the Academy of Music, nut inquire tor the- Director-of-the-Orches tra. Will you do it-?' Hardman said 'be would. 'But;_suggested_tbe stranger, 'you need not tell the man what I said about his viol, nor what I've offered; because he may lave an idea of what treasure ho possesses.. You will be careful and circumspect. The stranger went away, end Halph,ilerd- Man reflected. In theVourse of an .hour the n wnet. of-the violin 'returned, and' a'sked Ter his ;Ilut the shoddy man baa been esp. tivated by the goldewbair, t ‘.l. ~117 hat w,ould the gentleman sell his .violin for?' , At firat theigeolein'au would not listen 14 . ) the proposition, but after a deaf Of talk lie confessed that he.himself was not a Iprofesi• sot, and could not well afford to keep amb l e valuable instrument, He would sell . if for one hundred and seventy-five dollars and not a penny less, 1 Ralph Hardman paid the money, and be ; came the legal possessor of the violin, ready to receive anywhere from throe to five hun dred dollars , from the director of the orelics tea, as he might-be able. Rut ths director did.not come. At the end of a, week' flardnian carried the violin to a professional friend, -and inquired of him its , real value. His friend examined it, and said 'Two dollars and a — half, without the box.' Ttalph Ilardwan Was strongly of the opin. ion that_thi gentleman'who left the violin in hie Aare was a swindler, awl that the director was a partner in the butlinese,•an4! that, Or : Esther; they htid made him .their That night shoddy' _was marked up too per cent.. r A jrAP!D _STnRy I -7,1.1eTS is a California story" which is almost incredible: A hired marl an ti:Napti farm was detailed to keep' a watch on the cortifivid; and not let the black ,marauders invade the premises, butliketnany other men in a similar sitdation, tried to plan a method whereby so none)] dabor would not have to he performed; so he hit upon - the plan of so a king some corn io whisky and placing it in the field so that the crow's would surely get drunk, and then ho though he would have a sure thiogn,on them, and could kill them easily. ,Ile had tried to shoot them. with astiot'gno, - but crows can 'smell powder a - long' way'" , Aftei - Soaking sortie corn over night,'he putra bountiful supply iu the field early nest'. morning; and iu ~ a bout ;two 'or three, bourn .he went out,.to,see : how, • firings. were progressing, and ,mark you what . 101 7 lows. Übe or the' crows, a little larger thao the rest; latigithCred up acid taken posses sion of almost all the ,porn, and had built himself,,,R, bar out of cleds , of earth,,and was retpil'liig the whisiyaoake'd corn to the oth er 'erowi4,"•Vhargirtr- ihetii three grains of sprouted intim 't.,i -ene"eollted grain. Our hires mae A 00,484.010. heart. to kill.nny. . of the creat) . tres that seemed. in their actions liltsinanicind: A. TOUGH Mxar.--0A citizen of Chicago used_ to,go home late slightly inebriated, and take a lunch usually set aside Pr ,hina by, hie eaniideiiito Wife, One eight; Wilde the usual' dish of cabbage arid' 'pork, she set a' wash bearl'fllled with caps in - starch. They lamp had long been: extinguished when the staggering sot returned home, and by mis take, when procceding-to satisfy his hunger, he stuck his fork into the wrong dish. Ile _svorke4 away at his• mouthful of caps patiently for Tr time,, but, , being o this, maitteste.them, he said to hts wile, ' I you get rim. cabtage? Theiare so' darned stringy that I caret'ohotir . them' .143 , gracipus ! if the stupid feller ain't eating . up alt my caps that I put starch in over eight tv,Clfl:; C • , j;';'r,l SIILOO .1 0 431" Itizoisek • " A _Gentle Sint. . tild'beit'con - HoPkies *as a worthy soul it fnitferY-' k'enerilly 'res ptio fed' f his on rwtird eborklbillietyiand religidtbrecak aridiThave no doubt , Xhat,dtc.felt at heart tuosklofwhat -he - prefeised - In zetirtirin direction he-fete--- areAtid ,desira, to steal. ;Hip ehlek ,meat,waii the making. of ,soap,, from „ashes ihia - he 'gathered in the .oeighborti'Ocio); aiid iii akin his`lioaip, !id' coats "obliged to keep two or three big kettles , crf -IYe• to which end an abUtidonce,of 410 was neees• ~.:! -.t % '.• '•• ^ 1 Now. it, Aid happened thirt7the edettoon's nearest npig,hher was Eaptain.Jaok, Patanes; whose calling kept him open the..say..pater the greater part of the time. stain Jack ' we t s asrpat, hand at keepipg, his family,zsup pliedwith seasoued wood. /4,sitanweed eitepaitre Wend tit, he often 'hid' vast ded babied to his- hbfisii; shore worked-up and etticked. :It , farther. more chanced that the rear door of ita_ good deacon's-soap hoube, opened directly upon the,retix,of,Vaptaio Jaelr's • huge, 'Wood-,pile. The temptation, was str/og.„ Surely, there oe'nl4) hello harm in taking . a - few of,t, Cho sekrering stiCia the Captain-Would' never , miss-them'.' ' .Bbt the disease grew With the nece , sity of feeding the fires p andAe:faneipi —kind old soul--,that the captain would never Miss, the Abstracted fuel. But he was destined,taratiter au unloOkerkfor enlighten meo t, as we, shall see. _ , • - firLcitiestiona.s:befofettle-cnrcit-ofiro-- tmlbeingliaritrumental mitaia into-the 'choir. One .of, the singers had a bass violimbieh. he was williog telday, if the blegirens , Would • , .fith_heh .4 . l .__ 4 l t oriscr de (dared that" - it'4sOlsi help the "sitioping won derfull,y. , Bat, thip'sias before thecleys ty . hen 1011es' 'Were et:Aerated in stnired Places, ,sod -several-ntAhet• 'brethren 'objeiitod. -- - .Deacon -- .Hopkins stile etirphatic,and bitter in' oppo aition...4,t,nyeryitulltneeting of the allure& he e*pressed , himself decidedly. Captain' Jack,' Who chanCed to be on shore, was.pres ent, and faVoreil - tbe intrOddction of the viol. '(Bring it itr,roriedcthe denten; • 'and 'lid go out ! I won't be sten_ where:hatvbig_ftd -dle. 4 , i - tolerated • • sWitiiyeai atiak'-to• that pltalgey -deacon 7' asked * 0 caP!alc. 'Yes, replied,the irate functionary. 'mut CAp_tain_artelt,_with—ar—eitriens— ttaink `e of the eye, 'you shan't be troubled with tha acidic iu the church: DI 'buy it _ and hang it on wy wood pile I' The poor deleon shrank away behind his eaompus.ehirt 03 . 11ar ' the friends of the `big,fiLldhe carried their paint. , . WATER IN FEVERS.—As is wet, known, The tise'ol Witter in fevers was formerly pro thibited,:,,Among thiPearly settlers of north• pr G ,N e w. York was a Ili 3tl sneering from • • violot fever. flis physician had given up all hopes of 'his recovery, and had given the information on his last visit. During the night following, the sick man told his watch er, as ho must die, it could certainly do no harm for him to have what water be wanted, and begged the 'watcher to• go to a spring near by' and get a pitcher full. So earnest were ,his entr eaties , the man went and got it, and the sfek'Man drank a.quart pitcher • full orthe'ivater; tank until he was satisfied.-- He'soon• fell into a quiot 4 sleep, and after some hours woke up . in• k profuse perspire tion,,and, b:4 better.:, Ms medical attendant Was astonished,in the miming to find him convalescent, 'and h e soon reooyered his a~yw J ,—~~~M A FAIR, 71.001,—rti un d e rstand, Mr. 'Tones, that you can turn any thing neater than auy other man in town. •• • 4 Yes, Mr. Smith, I think so.' 'Ahem!. 41Ir..Iones, I don't liko to brag, but ttei,o is nobody on earth oan turn a thing cao `whittle' 4:Podh nonsense, Mr. Smith. Talk about whittling-I...What:eau: you whittle as nice' as I, can 4nythip e ,o..--everythiag, Mr. Jones. Yon lu i St naine; The article' that I can't whittle that'Yotietin- tuin, and I will jive this dollar if I do not do:it' to the satisfaction of these iuentlenten present.' (Ilere Mr. Smith tables ho dollar.) • . , 'Ahem! well, then,,, Mr. Smith, suppose we take ttiO giiriii4onds,.itiit for a trial, you knowyou' Whittle the hue while I turn tbo otlier. l o . :. • A: ' • Mr. Smith 4tered a moment aod.vatne?, "I'lm! forfeited d ollar was quick ly iliet> o.ed 'of ' by those present with groat glee 'attcl _Too P. D ": 4 ", .t y Pearl is 'fair, fat and forty,"sud„uomarrip,d.,: She assuages to obtaiti ati'honest and OomfOriable living by keeping n'Auirll 9Tiiip or‘iiiitlies' in the lower part of , the-city.i , She is , a'spruce old dame, and ; a3npog ogticr artiolos; vends- spruce beer. One evening u customer, called for a glass of the bevcrdge inqUiliug at the same time if it was. sew, made beer. exelaipa - ell a bystander, just as the vtorthy'darne 'lris about to reply in the al. ydu it is 'Old maid beer!. , • The wpg•wal Been amideely to leave - , the liidy's premises with a gla# lying after hire. Sixty times was'lttjor - Gedisrat W. - Geary under ace, and never defeated " In of the was battles of'th'e *a^ bis first:Lora son was shot douta.rmitt bits, bat be never faltered Ilia field service Was of the hardest,kiud from the opening of the war to its close. ' 11auna,'.Said tureoooiouslittle boy, who;' against his will, was wade to root the cradle otchis 'baby .113fro1her, , 'if the Lord hit any 41{ 43 1babie,s to'gtve attly, don't you take !oto.!: A boy in one of tags the Gei. wan Diet is eomposed r4Ont,-ksOut,Screitzer kaa3 . antl lager beer. I }- g;3': 'NM*4 8 ;ik!~ rt