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X 37. W. MI lair .
VOLUME XXIL
ALEX. LE.EDS,-
Next door to thi) Town Hall, hat; n3w on hand
CLOCKS,
In
Selected-by himself-with- great enre,_a
well selected assortment of
a T 44
ot Svgiss, English, and Amelican_Manufattare_;
J. E W E'L. R Y
cheaper than ever befire sold in Waynesboro', all
the latest styles kept constantly on hand.
Every variety of Cuff buttons. A int assort
ment of
NGER AND EAR RINGS
solid Gold. Engagement and
WEDDING RINGS
Silver Thimble's and sileelds,' Castors,. Fake, and
Spoons,Salt Cellars, and Butter Knives o the cel
ebrated Roger Manufacture, at reduced rats.
SPECTACLES
To suit everybody's eyes. New glasses pit in old
frames.
Clocks. Watches, and Jewelry prom ply and
,neatly repaired and warranted.
ALEX, LIE DS,
Next door to the Town. Hall, under the Phtogra ph
Gallery. ',Ely 31.
EBEEBEGEE
DEALER TN
DRUGS,
Chemicals,
PATENT EZEDICINZS,
PREPARATIONS FOR THE RAVI
OILS, PAINTS,
VA.UNISHESES,
&c.
6:7 9 Physicians dealt with
at 20 per cent. discount.
Wisynembero' Hotel Banding,
vi'AYNgsnoßtr, T.A.
Msklch 27, We.
IRO' FRAN LIN COUNTI, PENNSYLVANIA, FRIDAY MORNING, JULY lit, 1869.
3PCI.II3ITICiat!\.X.s.
TDIS WORLD.
IVehere have gleams of happiness.
Though it is hardly bliss; -
And, iill`we reuch a better worth,
We'll be content with this.
We'll make the best of what is bad,
Enjoy the really good ;
.Nor o'er past sorrows brood.
AloVily,pleasant world is this,
In fair sunshiny weather— -
And, but for sin's corrupting power,
A good world•altogether;
Still, beat here loving human hearts,
And sympathy is ours;
Why grope then, hidden thorns to find,
And thrust aside life's flowers?
Blest are the martyred dead vrha lie
In holy graves for fineilom won,
W,lnse storied deeds shall never die,
W-h Re-coming-years-their circle,
blest be the
And blest the flag that o'er them waves,
Its radiant stars their watch shall keep,
And brightly beam . on hallowed graves.
reed6n lives, the~i fame ahall 1i
on her blaaing scroll,
And Love her sacrificeshall give,
ile_antherni souna_the-altar-r-011.
Year after year our hands shall bear
Immortal flowers in vernal bloom,
Till God shall call us home to share
Immortal life beyond the tomb.
Otis 'AT ER ! ail the praiae be thine !
Th
_race and oodnesa_we_adore;
Bless our dear land with love divine,
And shed thy peac. -- ri &Uri.°
WM. OLAND BOURNE
• 1 "--"g571M1-TFVI
Give all Such Your Penny
Occasionally, in going his weary and home
leis rounds up and down the earth, a erip
4-3d_soldier—unslings---his—organ—for—a—tew
! holm here in Trenton, to dispose of a pen
i o7's worth of music to the passerby. We
over see one of these maimed relics of the
L. ood , era of the rebellion without a feeline ,
o sadass that tells ns — tie area better man
than we supposed ourself* Fe be. These are
those whit escaped death in our behalf, and
saved the heritage of a country to our chil
dren.. Give all such a nickel, you mean Cop
perhead cuss, without growling! And you,
poor smart fool of suspicion, don't pass by
with a pitiful internal exclamation of 'im
poster.' Occasionally a !poor devil may be
playing soldier to win a meal for which he
might otherwise have to beg, but such are
sinless in the sight of good men and angels
The homeless one.legged brother in life and
death, whose little box silently pleads for
your penny as you pass, is no imposter,
though he wears the old blouse of army blue
without having been in bivonue or battle.—
No helpless cripple who thus appeals to your
patriotic sympathies should be turned empty
away. Shall we rivet the clasps of our purse
against all' the afflicted because here and
there one may be a knave as well ? No, no,
old fellow ! In these cases your suspicion is
generally a suggestion of your damnable
meanness. The Lord knows you like a book.
Speaking of one-legged soldiers 'reminds
us of a little incident that will here bear re._
lating. Last fall an Irishman in an army
overcoat and a wooden leg halted at the
corner of State and Warren. and commenced
shouting for Seymour and Blair. A crowd
of delighted Democrats soon gathered around
him, tickled to death to find a 'Boyin Blue'
so vociferous a Democrat. His hat was soon
half filled with stamps. Es-Mayor Mills,
who was on his way toa-Democratic meeting,
and drew about eight inches plumb whiskey
that morning, was hilariously elated over the
soldier. His Honor hailed us in the distance
and beckoned us toward him.' When we
reached the spot, says the Mayor:
'See here, Mr. Sentinel, you say the sol
diers are all for Grant. Look at this poor
crippled Boy in Blue, and blush for shame.
Lie is Seymour and Blair up to the, hilt l'
We at once opproached the soldier, as near
as it was safe on account of his breath, and
after throwing a ten center in his hat, the
following 'conversation ensued :
'Friend, bow did you lose your leg?'
'And be jabers I lost it in a stone quar
ry V—Treniata.(4 J.) Sentinel.
A If ICIOE WHEAT FIELD.— A gentleman
who passed through Roanoke county a few
days Ainee informs us that . be saw, on Tues
day, on -the Drep more farm,. near Salem, the
most magnificent sight he ever beheld. This
was wangle field of seven hundred, acres in
extent, on which the most beautiful wheat
was growinc., its purple and
.golden heads
waving-in the wind, and ever presenting new
aspects of kaleidosoopie beauty. In this
single field one reaper and eighteen cradles
were operating, and the ripe grain was fall
innfast.and far before .the sharp touch .of
these
. shining blad es. The proprietors,
Messrs. Chapman and Green, were endeavor
ing to cut one hundred acres per day, which
gives some idea of the power of their ma
chines. Our informant states that the entire
area of seven hundred acres was 'thick with
the finest wheat he ever saw.—Lsmchburg
( bra) Republican.
If a man has Any religion worth having,
be will do his duty, and not make a fuel a
boat it,. is the empty. kettle that rattles.
to meet-our woe,-.-
wheie_heroea_slee
imaclepeaa clout INTevcrisron,roor.
Skip—But Don't Skip This.
A year or two since, a small farmer in the
upper part.ofilain . e,one morning found a
homely-looking sorrol-eolored dog hanging
about his house. Ms tail bad recently been
cut off, and the animal, altogether, presented
a sorry appearance. The farmer paid little
• • , ,to the animal not wis'hin: to be
troubled with him. For two or three days
the friendless dog lay around the premise's,
with a piteous look, until at leng th the farm
er, moved with compassion, cal led the dog to
him and fed him.. Ile was almost famished ;
That settled the whole thing. The dog over
flowing with joy and gratitude in having
secured a new friend, stuck to his benefactor
like a courtier. fl e would not leave him,—
The farmer soon after ascertained that . the
dogs former master had cut off his tail, and
the animal immediately left him in disgust
and dudgeon. The new master did not wish
to keep him, and a friend that lived seven
miles away earrtet the animal home in the
box of his chaise: Hirt the dog found his
way back again as soon as he was released.
The farmer then made up his mind to keep
him. He turned out to be an excellent
watch-dog and a hunter.
_One night after tea the farmer missed his
dog. 'Where is Skip ?" No one had seen
him since he bad started with his master in
, to-the—woods—that—morning. At—last—the
farmer bethought him of his gun, which he
%id down on the ground whilst be' loaded
his sled with wood. He had come off and
forgotten-itit was then — stowing. If he
left it all night, it would be covered up, nod
it=s- mel ' • • Ta'
d-h ;A' rititeW - ftird - -111 - e - re - trurn - et
to the woods for his gun, and there found it,
with the faithful dog beside- watching it.
On Sunday Skip would gn to meeting with
t r --- V heiTh—
,ey rode the dog would
stay in the wagon and 'watch it; but if they
went on foot he would go into church with
them, which they could not well prevent,
and by which they were annoyed.
One Sunday, when the family were going
to meeting on foot, the farmer shut the dog
up in_the_bouse,--S k ot — lan ey—sueh
treatment, and every Sunday morning: he
mould_iumasiably get upon a little knoll near
the house, and there await the departure of
the family for church, and then moss l3ta at
full bound, always keeping ahead of the
-family til - thay — arrived — a - t — the meeting•
house. How , did the deg know when Sun
day came ? He must have kept the record
of time somehow.
A Singular Case.
A great deal of talk has been excited in
Houston, Texas, by the following singular
eirounistances_which-occurred-in-that -vi el ai
iy. On Tuesday night, of last, week, at an
early hour. a carpenter, who had been ill for
some time, to all appearance, died. There
was not a sign of animation left ; he was
pronounced dead by his attendant physician;
was dressed in his grave clothes laid out
for burial. His frtenus in Galveston were
telegraphed to attend his funeral. It was
about 8 P. ii., when he was pronounced dead
and preparations began for his burial.
• About day break the following morning
he suddenly rose in his bed, without giving
up to that time, a single indication of. life
He was unabled to speak, pulseless, cold and
with the exception that be was able to sit up
right and move his arms and hands, still ap
peered a corpse. Not the faintest respiration
could be discovered, nor did the eyes, though
open, give any indication of anything but
death. His physician sent fur, who, on en
tering the room, was utterly befuddled at the
singular ease. Restoratives, stimulants and
everything else likely to be of service were
applied . ; but the breath refused to return,
the puke to beat and the body to grow warm.
The muscular power to rise in bed and move
his limbs continued, and was exercised dur
ing the five hours, when they also ceased for
ever, and the carpenter was left as perfect a
corpse as could possibly be. Has such a
case as above related ever been heard of be
fore. About mid-day be was buried. Was
be •alive when he ruse in his bed ? Probably
not.
A Tot:term° STORY.—The Hon. A. H.
Stevens, of Georgia, in a recent address, at
a meeting at Alexandria, for the benefit of
the Orphan's Asylum and free School of that
city, related the following anecdote :
'A poor little boy on a cold night, with no
home nor roof to shelter his head, no pater
oal or maternal guardian or guide to protect
or direct•him on his way, reached a night.
fall the home of a wealthy planter, who took
him in, fed and lodged him, and sent him on
his way with a blessing. These kind atten
tions cheered his heart and inspired him with
fresh courage to battle with the obstacles of
life. • Years rolled round ; Providence led
him on, and be reached the legal profession;
his host had died, the Cormorants that prey
on the substance of man had formed a con
spiracy to get from the widow her estate:—
She.sent for the nearest counsel to commit
her cause to him, and that.counsel proved to
be the orphan boy long before welcomed and
eptertained by her deceased husband. The
stimulous of a warm and tenacious gratitude
was added to the ordinary motive connected
with the profession. Lie uodettoolt her cause
with a will not easy to be resisted, he gained
'it; the widow's estates were secured to her
in perpetuity,' and Mr Stephens added, with
an emphasis of emotion that sent an electric
thrill throughout the house, 'That boy stands
before pi.'
• BEAUTIFUL TIVUGIITS.—The same God
who moulded out the sun and kiudled the
stars watches thy flight of the insects. He
who •blanches the clouds, and hueg the earth
upon nothing, notices the fall of the sparrow.
lie,who gave Saturn hits two rings, and placed
the moon like a ball A' silver in the broad
arch of heaven, gives One ruse leaf its deli.
cate tint, And the same lleiug notices equal
ly the praise of the obey: Mat and the pray.
ors of the little child.
Joining the Masons.
Knobbs bas joined the Masons, and here
is his experience in getting,into a lodge :
I must tell you of the perils and trials I
had to undergo to become a Mason. On the
evening in question - I presented myself at
the door, of the lodge room, No. 36,666, sign
.d cross bones. l_was con-
duoted to an ante room, where five or six
melancholy chaps, in sashes and embroidered
napkins, mere waiting to receive • me. On
my entrance they all - got up and turned back
somersaults, and then resumed their seats.-- .
A big fat fellow who sat in the middle, and,
who seemed to be the proprietor, then said :
'Sinner front- the other-world advance 1'
advanced: - - - - - -
'Will you give up everything - to join us ?'
(Yot if I know it,' 'I said ; •there are my
wife and fourteen fine--'
Another party here told me to say 'yes,'
as it was merely a matter of form. 'So I said
.Yes, I would give up everything'
The fellows in the towels then groaned
and said :
''Tie well. Do you swear never to reveal
anything you see or hear this evening to any
human being, or to your wife 7'
I said,_"Pon my wordTrwil
They then examined my teeth and felt my
tongue, then groaned again.
f-said,-ff-you-dork-feel well, have got a
little bottle here; The fat man 'here took
the bottle from me and told me to s
fie then, in a voice of thunder, said;
413 ting forth the goat .
Another fellow then came u . with a cloth
'No you don't, Mr. Mason,'L said; 'No
tricks on travelers if you please, I den't - be•
lieve in t l_zyli_g_a blitatttan's buff with_a_goat;-- 1
I'll ride the devil if you like but I don't go
it blind. Stand back, or I'll knock you into
smithereens' They were too much for me,
however, so I had to submit:to being-blind—
folded. The goat was then led in, and I
could hear him making an awful racket a.
mong the furniture. I began to feel that_L
was - u - ri — stitly wanted at home, but I was in
for it and could not help myself.
Three or four fellows then seized me, and
with a demoniacle laugh piohed me on the
animal's back, telling me at the same time to
look for st nails. I have. been in man
scrapes, . ttor ; have been in election
fights , I have been piched out of a four-sto
ry window; but this little goat excursion
was ahead of them all. The confounded
thing must be all wings and horns. I t
bumped we against chairs and the ceiling,
but I held on like a Trojan. I turned front
somersaults and rolled,over. I thought it
wad all over with me, and I was just on the
point of giving up, when the bandage fell
from my eyes and the goat bounded through
the window with a yell like a wild Indian
giving up the ghost. I was in a Lodge of
Masons. They were dancing a war-danee a
round a big skull, and playing leap-frog and
turning handsprings, and the big fat fellow
of the ante-room was standing on his head in
the corner.
Cant Clothed. in Silks.
In the course of a late sermon on the min
istry, Dr. Guthrie related an incident that
had come under his notice. The remark was
made by a lady to the wife of a poor minis
ter who keeps boarders, to eke out a living
that some of the merchant princes in his
congregation could have paid out of their
own pockets and never missed it. The lady,
rustling in silks, and in a blaze of jewels went
to visit'her ministers wife, more a lady than
herself, with the exception of the dress.—
She condoled with her on the straightened
oircumstances and means of ministers ; look
ing into the pale, .careworn face of the ex-,
cellent woman, said, as she turned up the
white of her eyes : 'hut, any dear, your re
ward is above!' - From the bloodless lips of
801110 poor sinner in a cold,- unfurnished gar
ret, where , the man of God facing fever and
pestilence, bas gone to smooth the dying pil
low and minister consolation in the last dark
hour, I have been thankful to hear the words,
'Your reward is above'—but from silks and
satins—disgusting I—cant, the vilest cant,
and enough to make religion stink in the nos
trils of the world Does that saying pay
the minister's stipend 7 Will it pay his ac
counts? Fancy the worthy man going to
his baker 'or his butcher, and instead of pay
ing down money, turning up the white of his
eyes to say, 'Your. reward is above.' I fan
cy they would.say, 'Oh,no, my good sir, that
will not pay the bill.' And I say what does'
not pay bills; does not pay minister's stipends
as they. °ugh e to be paid..
SINCERITY.—In the long run, sincerity
pays; and this, in all the relations of life—
social, political and commercial Out-spoken ,
flatfooted people very often, offend refined
taste in their lack of policy—their persistent
way of stating unpalpabla truths upon inop
portune moossions —but after all,. there is real
comfort in knowing that you have heard the
worst of it, and that there is nothing colored
up. Theman who impetuously run his bail
into the woodchuck hole and got bit for s lifs
rashness, uttered the elements of a greet
principle when he drew his: bleeding hand
out and exclaimed . - 1 1 Inn awful glad the
critter bit me, for now 1 know ho:is 'there !'
Very few people like to be bit, even by a
woodchuck, but if the knowledge which
comes throtigh such sufferings is worth the
price paid for it, nobody can honestly say
that the being bitten is a calamity.
The twat 18, we all like to 'know he is
there ; and we fool very uneasy and dissatis-,
fled until we do know. Only have it dis
tinctly understood that a 'person says
what he thinks,; and- all questions of taste
and policy will . disappear as vapor before the
great sunlight of SlNCERlTY.—Paokard's,
Monthly. '
A correspondent who title an outlands
ble thirst for knowledge, waste to know it
tho wheel of time is ever tired.
A Love Letter.
,
- The if:4l(min ,, letter is sublimely-splendid,
and we recommend it to dealers in 'tender
lines
`MY DEAR Mlss•o —Every time I think
of you, my heart flops up and down like a
ohurn-handle. Sensations and unutterable
'o • ea er over it like • ouAg_:oats ,o a ,
pasture. As a gosling sw . int meth with de-
light in a madptuidle, ao swim I in a sett' of
glory, .Visioria el -vested° rapture thicker
than the hair on a dog's back, and brighter
than
,the hues of a parrot's pinions, visit me
in my slumbers; and, borne on their invisi
ble wings, your image stands before me, and
I reach out to grasp it, like a' pointer dog
snapping at'a blue-bottle fly. - When I first
beheldlonr angelic perfections I was bewil
dered, and my brain whirled around like a
bumble-bee under a glass tumbler. My
tongue-refused to wag; and in silent adora
tion I drank in the sweet infection of love
as a thirsty man swallowth a tumbler of beer.
Since the light of your face fell upon my
life, I sometimes feel as if I could lift myself
by my suspenders to the top of the steeple
and pull the bell-rope of the' ehureh. Day
and night you are in my thoughts. When
• urora, us like a bride, rises from her,
saffron couch; when the chanticleer's' shrill
clarion herald's the coming morn; when the l i
awakened pig-ariseth-from-his-bed-and-grunt.-
e tit , and_goe th_fer—his_momin ,, refresh men ts;-
when the drowsy beetle wheels his droning
flight at sultry noontide • and when the law-
e at milking lime, I think
ing cows come h. :
of thee—and like
heart seems to stretch elearacross my bosom.
Your hair is like the mane of a sorrel horse,
powdered with gold. Your fine forehead is
_smoather_than-the-elbow-of—aa—old—ooat---
Your eyes are 'glorious to behold. When
their fire hit me'upon my manly breast it
penetrated my whOle anatomy, as a load of
-small bird shot would go through - a rotten
apple. Your nose is as from a block of Ital.
ian marble, and your mouth puckered with
_sweetness._ Nectar-lingers-on-your lips, like
hooey oo a bear's paw ; and myriads of an.
fledged kisses are there ready to fly out and
light somewhere, like birds out of a parent's
nest Your laugh rings in my ears like the
wind harp a strain, or the bleat of a stray
lamb on a bleak hillside—
I. am dyinc , ° to fly to thy presence and
pour out the burning eloquence of my love,
as thrifty housewives pour out hot coffee.—
Away from you, I am as melaneholy — as a
sick rat. Sometimes I eau hear the May
bugs of despondency buzzing in my ears,
and feel the cold lizards of despoil:crawling
down my back. Uncouth fears, like a thou
sand minnows, nibble at my spirits; and my
soul is pierced with doubts, as a cheese is
bored by a skipper. My love for you is
stronger than the kink of a young cow, and
more unselfish than-a kitten's first caterwaul
As the song bird hankers for the light of
day, the cautious mouse for the fresh bacon
in the trap—as a lean pup hankers for new
mileh, so I long for thee.
If these few remarks will enable you to
see inside of my soul, and me to win your af•
fections, I shall be as happy as a sparrow in
a cherry-tree, or a dray .horse in a green pas :
ture. if you cannot reciprocate my thrilling
passion, I shall pine. away from the flourish
log rine of life, an untimely branch ; and, in
the coming years, when the shadows grow
from the hills, and the philosophic frog stags
his cheerful evening hymns, you, happy in
another's love, can come and a tear and
catch a cold upon the last resting place of
JOIIN JONES.
A Very Sick Student
Some of the students of the Indiana . Srate
Universary, were auppoeed to be in the habit
of drinking brandy : where they obtained it
was a mystery. _ Dr. Huffy determined to
ferret out the secret. Calling into . a small
drug store, the proprietor asked him how
that sick student, Mt. Carter, was' coming
on.
Smelling a rat, the Doctor answered in an
evasive manlier, and sou drew out of- the
apothecary that the students under suspicion
had been in the habit of purchasing brandy
for a sick student by the name of Carter;
that they said ho' was- quite low, and was
kept alive by stimulants; and that. the young
gentlemen,seemed,very much devoted to him.
Now the secret was out. This earter.was a
lietitious character, and the Doctor had the
secret. '
However, be kept' hie counsel. The next
time the students assembled in the chapel
for , prayars he east his eyes Over the crowd,
and satisfied himself that Carter's nurseS
were all present. The devotions were duly
emicluotedond then he called their attentions
remarking:that , he had a mournful task to
perform- 7 as Pvesident.of the. University it
became his duty, to announce, the death of
it lellew student, Mr. Carter.
Atter a liogeriug iilooas of 'several weeks,
. portion .of w — hiebte was. kept alive by etim•
elan to r he had .b.reothed his last. He bad no
doubt that this auuounoement would fall 04.
ly on the ears of those, who bad so faithfully
attended to his wants, but be hoped they
would beer it :with resiguaion—he hoped
they would Whet •on, the oft-repeated words
"Memento moti",— that be would Dori ,no
longer detain them, to their oven reflections.
The result of this announcement was start•
ling. Noce of the professors, and few of the
students had'ever heard of Carter.' "Who
is he ?"' was whispered. None knew but the
kind friends who attended him, and. they
wouldn't tell; and the president s eemed so
deeply affeirtedi that they didn't like to ask
Xf Colfax had Nellie Wade, why ,don't he
havehe a r d ii e. eleweigh also Becauee he'e
Ben W
•
Many a delectable kiee . , has been , nipped
in the bud by a fourlear ola nuisance bring
ing a light into too: rebut,
*MOO Per Velar
!BM CAti I 1:1oom - P—The following sto
ry ie good because it is true. We had it
from the Ups of a gond woman, whei was told
it by the prineipahat AO herself. 'Yen
first come to Filadelfy to serve, I WAS very
uncivil,' said Katrina, now a tidy , servant in
a respectable family; laugh mooch, and I
feel ashamed to remember how I behave.4en
now so little. -don—tat - was my , Wail
—Schou be took ma to that - .theatre one
eight, yen I bin lo Filadelfy but tree weeks.
We Bits in the gallery, and we not see goot;
and Sehostutici he would get tt better seat.--
So he puts his leg round der pot 4, and
sohlidea dotin mit der pit, - and looks anitad
calls out : 'Raffia° ! Retried ! mein, down;
tieh a good place here I' and I leaned -titter,
and said I: 'How can room do MI, Schen r
and he sai_d • f.Sehnet sohlide doiptt 1 1 Bea
put "my leg - thund, der pillar; and sohlides
down. Donde - tr . -how day people laughed.
Dey laugh so. dev.play, DO mere,dat.night
upon the stage.. Bverybody laugh and
and whistle all over der house. I was Lunch
ashamed then, tough I knew nut any harm.
But now I ,plushea red every titnei tinks
mit it.'—N. AS'grtr. - ,
THlB 2 is - Ftfil 1u JUVEN Mks : A' 6 ,Wriity
boy of three aud a half years, whose father
had bought a house requirinisome_addition.
al ffiroiture, being_b_r_ought_into_fk- r wher
the arranger
~ewenti had been confilot_mfand
te rest of the family were there., timathed :
'Why, mamma, you have got some ittio
'earperaTeh ?' —
I Theo, after a further examination 'of the
arrest -.mid you've got some_nete i. ehaire,
too :, ain't you, mamma ?'
- Being placed at the tea•table seen] after,
and told to keep still while big I • ther_aelted-
a blessing, he exclaimed as soon as it 'was
finished: 'Why, that is the same old bless
ing, papa•,
A fellow in New Orleans, affected with
mania a potu, conceived the idea that he
was a goose, and proeuring_straw -for -a neat,
and brickbats for eggs, pretended to 'set' on
the < latter. His mother interfered. 'Why
don't you let me alone ? Don't you see L t►ui
setting ?"But Oliver, you ain't a goose,'
the mother 'replied. ain't ?' 'No; you
are my poor, dear eon.' 1 know better. —
Wh Thr
y, yes, you aro. J ese are not eggs—
they aro brickbats' Don't I know ? Didn't
Fay 'em ? and I wean to hatch 'ow or die.'
A clergyman was one day catechising — a
class of children belonging to hts oengr:gu
tkpir, and coming to a little boy w me
thing of a rogue, asked him a e..
know something,' replied the urchin
with a significant look.
• „
'Well, my son, what do you know 1' ri•
plied the pastor.
'I know wheie there's a bird's pest,' paid
the boy, 'but I'shan't tell you for ,fear you
will steal the eggs,' answered the jived*
The verdict of the Presiding elder of one
of the Maine families of Shakers, upon a ,qe•
locipede which had been made by one,"of the,
younger brothers, was that a Shaker,upen a
velootpedo could ride only in one direction,
and that would be straight to destruction
Thereupon the Elder smashed the teitchine
with an ax, Etna the velocipodetrien shook off
the Shaker restraints and Went out to, the
wicked world, where velocipedes cuts he made
and ridden. ,
A very fat Mail being measured for a pair
of pantaloons, • gave directions they
should bn tight and fall, as ho ' liked them
loose, When he came to try them on :theY
stuck tight to his legs, wheteat • he. ninon
waled : told you to make these petite full.'
After some objugatory °spree's : ions of a pro,
fans naturcolie tailor ended the rim:drovers!,
by declaring, clink des pants is full enough;
if da was any faller they wouln:spl,i4,r
.:1"1
A wag says it is folly 'to °wpm elm to
love a mao whom every body tpeaks well' of.
Get urra peraecution, and..their. affections
will cling so fast that a.doeen gtykr4isas can't
begin to remove them. •
Us who goos to• bed in angor,,hasAbexlevil
for a bed-follow. .AID old baoh at our elbow:
saysh'e'knOite a niarriod man, who,' tfiCingh
he , goes' fo'bed as gentle as a lamh,:itl the
same pridiotmeat as to the bedielloWv;
A hiay Whose family were, very asqoh, in
the 'bent of inaleing conun'4olll.4, was one
evening asked by her boa:mini in an excited
tone. 'Why,: was . thia: door: left opatir
give ap;.,in4antly rephed; t be..lAdy. ' • .; 1
.
A nisi' otairyfttg a cradle was stopped by
an' old woman and thus -accosted : `So, 'air,
you have Some'ot the fruit 4 of matrimony.
'Softly, ho, you mistake, this
is 'merely thqfrait.baskot,
' A rowdrintending to be witty, Au as.
o'Osted a lady., fin. 'the street. &Madam can
ppu illifqrtaloie where Lean eon tits-elephant?
•No, but if I had a looking glass I'd show
you, a very largo monkey. The rowdy sloped.
'How.toanytehildren have I?' asked.awa.
mart of It spirit rapper.
.Four! -
'And how many hallo , Zr asked bar hal!
_
band: - ' • -
•Tyro,'_was tha astonisbiag reply.
take somewhere •
Many people imagine that to be dressed
ia to 41.4tetiseck well. It:is a great
mistake. t colors And quantities :of;.
jewelry are evideeeee of the worst possible ta i tc : —iv
,111niny a,gppil kiss hasthean aipptalja - : tha
hail hy a Eqiir-yeat:old; Ciaiatiace btia.gia& a
light itito'the room.
,The, womaik 4k *0 5u —auy o#e.
oevlifo—kJibbibuiible letaeinOsik
94ter. t
Erni
NUMBER 1