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I OLUMh XXII.
LI. S. aBEEDUKE
DEALER IN
Chemicals,
r:T'v~~~i~~~ , S P P*
PREPARATIONS FOR THE HAIR,
OILS, PAINTS,
BNISHESESi -
-dim &e
--.-0-.-
arPhysigians=dealt with
at 20 per cent. discount.
Waynesboro' Rotel Building,.
March 27, 186111.
ALEX. LEEDS,
Next door to the Town Hall, has new on hand
a fine assortment of
CLOCKS,
Seleoted'by 'with greet enre, a large an()
Well selected assortment of
- uxit4aaaa 4 ,
of Swiss, English, and American Manufacture ;
JEWELRY
cheaper than ever before sold in Waynesboro' all
the latest styles kept constantly on hand. -
Every variety of Cull buttons. A fi assort
meat of
FINGER AND EAR INGS.
Solid Gold. Engagement and
WEDDING RINGS,
Silver Thimbles and sheelds,' Casten!, Forks, and
Spoons, Salt Cellars, and ' utter Knives of the cel
ebrated Roger Manufacture, at reduced rates.
SPECTACLES
To milt everyboy'et eye*. New &nes put in old
framer-
Clocks. 'Watches, and Jewelry promptly and
meek , repaired and warranted.
ALEX. LEEDS,
. , „
Next &mile the Town Hall, under the Photograph
Gallery. July 31.
WAYNESBORO', PA.
WAYNKSBORV, - FRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, FRIDAY HORNING, MARCH 5, ISO.
I~~~TI+[7~.L. -
BEAUTIFUL STANZAS-.
There is no heart but bath its inner anguish,
There is no ego but bath with tears been wet,
There-is-no-veice - bnt bath - been - heard to languish
'• • • • • • • knees it can't - Wirt - 6 :e .
There is - no cheek hii - weiiihright its roses,
But perished buds beneath its hues are hid ;
No eye in its dewy light reposes,
But broken star=beams tremble 'neath its lid.
There is no lip, howe'er with laughter ringing,
However light and gay its worts ma • be
u it •at • trembled at some dark upspringing
Of stern affection and deep misery.
We are all brothers in this land of dreaming,
Yet hand meets hand, and eye to eye replies ;
Nor deem we that beneath a brow all beaming
The flower of life in broken beauty lies.
Oh ! blessed light that gilds our night of sorrow ;
Oh' balm-of-Gilead,-for-our-healing - found
We know that peace will come with thee to-morrow,
And that afflictions 'spring not from the ground.
The two have made a tie
Which time nor mtrn should sever,
Which God hath willed should last
Forever and forever.
Two - souls unit© for one
To sail the endless river;
Their lonely life is gone
Forever and forever. .
The-self-which-was-is-lost;
That self will know thee never ;
Another soul is thine
Forever end forever.
AMISS CIJEIIaiLALNW.
Shall we Meet Again !-•A Beautiful
Extract
The following waif afloat on the 'sea• of
read i ne---ve- --- errep — from — an exchange.
do not know its paternity, but it contains
some wholesome truths, beautifully set forth:
'Men seldom think of the great event of
death until the shadow-falls across their own
path, hiding forever from their eyes the
traces of the loved ones whose living smiles
were the sunlight of their existence. Death
is the great antagonist of life and the cold
thought of the tomb is the skeleton at all
feasts. We do not want to go through the
dark valley, although its passage may lead to
Paradise; and with Charles Lamb we do not
want to lie down in the muddy grave, even
with kings and princes -for our bedfellows.
But the fiat of nature is inexorable.—
There is no appeal of relief fiom the great
law which dooms us to dust. We flourish
and we fade as the leaves of the forest, and
the flower that blooms and withers in' a day
has no frailer hold upon life than the might
iest monarch that ever shook the earth with
his footsteps. Generations of men appear
and vanish as the grass and the countless
multitudes that throng the world to day,
will to.morrow disappear as the footsteps on
the shore.
In the beautiful drama of lon, the instinct
of immortality, so eloquently uttered by the
death devoted Greek, finds a deep response
in every thoughtful soul. When about to
yield his young existence as a sacrifice to fate,
his beloved Clemanthe asks if they shall not
meet again, to which he replies asked
that dreadful question of the hills that look
eternal—of the clear streams that flow for
ever—of the stars among whose fields of azure
my raised spirit bath walked upon thy living
face, I feel that there is something in the
love that mantles throdxh its beauty that
cannot wholly perish. We shall meet again,
Clematathe
Groans and Tears.
A French physician is out on a long dis•
sertation on the advantages of groaning and
crying in general, and especially during sur
gical operations, He contends that groan•
ing and crying arp two grand operations by
which Nature allays anguish ; that those pa
tients who give way to their natural feelings
more speedily recover from accidents and op
erations than those who suppose it unworthy
a man to betray such symptoms of cowardice
as either to grei'an or to cry. He tells of a
man who reduced his pulse from one hun
dred and twenty-six to sixty in the course of
a few hours, by giving full vent to his emo
tions. If people are all unhappy about any
thing, let them go into their rooms and com
fort themselves with a loud boo-hoo, and
they will feel 100 per cent. better afterward.
In accordance with the above, the crying of
children should not be too greatly, discour
aged. If it is systematically repressed the
result may be, St. Vi tnte's dance, epileptic fits,
or some other disease of the nervous system
What is natural is nearly always useful; and
nothing can he more natural than the crying
of children when anything occurs to give
them either physical or mental pain. Prob
ably most persons have experienced the ef
fect of tears in relieving great sorrow. It is
even curious how 'the feelings are allayed by
the free indulgence in groans and sighs.--
Then let parents and friends show, more in
dulgence to noisy bursts of grief—on the
part of children as well as older persons—
and regard the eyes and the mouth , as safety.
valves through • which, 'Nature disaharges
her surplus steam. -
The rail road men have found out by, this
time that, while Grant's intentions, are .pa•
cifio, they are not 'Union Pacific,'
.Ati.xstiscle)r)ebricleitit Nietm.l.l3r .7hTeriarsripitg,o3o,.
A Great Evil•
Our race groans under evils, and carries
burdens heavy to be borne; some of these
may 'be traced back to the first sin and are
beyond our control, bat most ,of them are of
our- own producing, and may be arrested by
a resolute act of - the will, OT by aids which
come from other sources.
Two evils now fill the land and world
which are of human invention, and are sus
tained by Lathan authority. One of these
is alcoholic drinks sod the other is the use
of Tobacco-of the latter we wish to sa
ew words.
This has grown and overspread the na
tions of the earth till now it challenges ob
servation,
reflection, and the exercise of en
lightened conscience while looking the na
ked facts in the face. Such is its present
extent, that five and a half millions of acres
are occupied in its growth, producing two
of tuns a - cm - ugly and costing the hu
man race ten thousand millions of dollars,
by far mote than enough to pay the whole
debt, in one year of the United States and
Great Britian, startling as the fact may
seem. In our own country alone, one hun
dred and fifty millions are expended annual
ly in its consumption, by far more than is
appropriated-to-en of — Gist
and. the cause of education. How appalling
such a state of things, while want and suf
fering are all around• us ! Multitudes are
without the Bible, millions have never beard
the name of Christ, and the most important
enterprises—for—promoting the welfare o
- m a nkindfalterand - fiil`for the.want of sup
per
- Yet this enormous expenditure is entirely
useless, No one claims that he is the better
for_the use of tobacco in any form. lt is a
-mere-habit-, - inn - oze.rrrly - forived, and - whilt
first a pleasure has grown to be a master and
tyrant.
Not only this, but it is an offensive, filthy
habit, finding no place in the Church, in the
parlor,_the_ladies'-saloon,or-elsewhere, - aa — a
high order of society meets and indulges in
exercises which the higher nature craves.
Multitudes, using it, arc ashamed of the
fruits of it, and would be glad to be rid of it,
if they knew how to break away from the
enchantment. But this is not all, or even
the worst of it, it is injurious to the health;
when taken to excess operates as of a pois
onous nature, weakening the system, and
leading-to-premature-death.,
Such evils, together with its enormous
expenditure, ought to make sober, reflecting
conscientious men consider whether it can
be right to continue such a habit as this—
ought it not to be overcome at all hazards,
and thus promote health and cleanliness,
and save the funds thus uselessly spent to
provide for personal and family wants and
build up the cfse of truth and righteous;
ness in the world
The Three Friends
• Trust no friend wherein thou haat not
proved him. At the banqueting•table how
many more are found than at the door of the
prison :-
man had three friends; two of them
he dearly loved—the third to him was indif
ferent, although he was the most true-hearted
of the three On a certain occasion he was
summoned before a judge and was, although
innocent, cruelly accused. 'Who among you,'
said he, 'will go with me and be a witness in
my behalf? for I have been cruelly accused
and the king is angry.
The first of hie friends immediately ex
cused himself, saying ho could not go with
him on account of other business.
The second accompanied him to the door
of the judgement hall, then turned away and
went back, fearing the anger of the judge.
The third
_upon whom he had reckoned
the went in, spoke for him, and so joy
fully bore testimony to his innocence, that
the judge °released him and sent him away.
Three friends has man in this world, and
how do they bear themselves toward him in
the hour of death, when God summons him
before his judgement seat? Wealth, his
most cherished friend, first forsakes him and
goes not with him. flis relatives and friends
accompany him to the portals of the grave,
and turn back again to their dwellings. The
third, that which in life was most frequent
ly forgotten, is his good works. They alone
accompany him to the throne of the Judge;
they go before, speak in his behalf, and find
mercy..
BEAUTIFUL SWISS CUSTOSL—The horn
of the Alps is employed in the mountainous
districts of Switzerland not solely to the
sound of the cow call, but for another pur•
pose, solemn and religious. As soon as the
sun has disappeared in the valleys, and its
last rays are just glimmering on the snowy
summits of the mountains, the herdsman who
dwells on the loftiest, takes his horn and
trumpets forth—'-'Praise God the Lord All
the herdsmen in the neighborhood take their
horns and repeat the words. This often con•
tinues a quarter of an hour, while on all sides
the mountains echo the name of God. A
solemn stillness follows ; every individual of
fers his secret prayer on banded knees and
uncovered 'head. By this• time it is quite
dark. 'Good night I' is repeated on all the
mountains from the horns of the herdsmen
and the clefts of the rocks. Then each lies
down to rest.
LOOK UPWARD.-A young man once pick
ed up a coin that was lying in the road. Al
ways afterward, as he walked along he kept
'his eyes close on the ground, hoping to find
another. And in the course of a long life
time, he did pick up; at , different times, a
goodly number of coins, both gold and silver.
But - all these years that ho was looking for
them be, saw not that the heavens were
bright above him.. Ho never let his eyes
turn away from the filth and , mud in which
be sought his treasure; and, whoa be died- 7 -
a rich old •man'—he only- knew this fair caith
as a dirty road in which to pick up money.
A Singularly Affecting Story.
When the war broke out, says the Toledo
Commercial, there lived in Cincinnati 'an
honest, - industrious, and happy German
ily. ,• The husband a►id fatber eniisted r iutbe
army in response to one of the first calls for
men, and served faith - fully during licitly hiug
and weary mouths without visiting his home.
His conduct in the army was such as to meet
with the approbation of his supervisors, and
he was finally pronioted. to a Captainoy.—
Just before the battle of Gi3ttysburg be ob
., : I.: I. —.l.:inialuteßFe
visiting home, and wrote to his devoted wife
that-he would certainly be home on the fol
lowing Thursday, requesting her to be sure
and meet him at the train. The Peat day
the army started in pursuit of Lee, who was
marching into Pennsylvania, and the gallant
German captain, instead of going home, went
with his comrades in inrsnit of the invader._
e was in th - i - hottest of the terrible fight at
Gettysburg, and when the smoke of battle
cleared away and the dead were gathered up
for burial upon that oonsectated ground, the
German captain was counted among the slain.
The news of his death reached his home in
Cincinnati, since which time the devoted wife
has been crazy, and still expects he t:
husband
ou the -,, and
,de next train, and by day and night—in
all kinds of weather—stands in the middle of
the crossing in front of her house, 'Oohing in
every direction for the appraftch of him wbo
will never come again.
Often she will call on the Mayor and oth
er-cit rat" t horititectio_have-offi
_go and watch
band is not coming. This strange conduct
has lasted for almost six years, and the grief
and trouble of the poor woman have been so
great that she-has -turned nrematurel
and chitigh — un•er t • irty years of age, has
the appearance of a very old person.
Farmers' Sons.
At the late annual meeting
_of the_New
York State Agricultural Society, Gen: Pat:
rick made the following remarks in regard to
the growing aversion among farmers' sons to
farm work :
`Only a few of our children are following
in our footsteps. The old folks are left a
lone. With failing health and increasing
years are compelled to sell out tbe, home
stead and live in a village, where it is possi
ble to live alone. Our young men are show
aversion to honest toil. Often,
ug a pea
if they remain on the farm, they are more
interested in fast horses than in training
steers. Others engage in trifling, undigni
fied occupations such as selling maps, books,
patent rights, or even clothes pins. They
aro attracted by genteel ways and habits.—
At the best they seek commercial adven.
tures, and through this means sudden and
great riches. Can they not read their fate
by the wrecks of thousands .in the city of
New York who attempted the same thing.—
For ableb - odied, strong young men to quit the
farm and engage in such trifling pursuits as
have been named, o r to attempt, where
thousands fail in a city occupation, they
should be ashamed. Whenever labor in our
country is considered dishonorable, the doom
of that nation is sealed. Until the idea pre
vails that labor is honorable there can be no
bright hope before us. When we find a
country divided into small estates, and each
proprietor labors with his own hands we have
happy people. Under small homesteads grew
up those people before which the world trem
bled when they buckled on their swords—
the ancient Romans. Look at the large plan
tations of the South, with degraded laborers,
and you need not ask the result,. Countries
are cultivated, not according to their fertili
ty, but according to their liberty. Agri
culture is the- basis of the happiness of a
State, and it is the most honorable as well as
the most ancient of all professions.'
A 'SQUAW BAr.L.'--Now Year's Day was
celebrated at Fort Beaton by a 'squaw ball,'
at which the elete of the forest maidens were
present, among them the , elegant and charm
ing Miss 4 Wagoo Box,' arrayed. in striped
silk, bedquilt pattern, with various kieka
sbaws and adornments. Also were present
the affable, polite, etc., Misses 'Stomach,'
'Fatty,"Mike,' and others of like euphonious
cognomens. The etiquette at these assem
blages is somewhat peculiar. It is required
that when you want a partner for the next
dance you must nudge her with your thumb
and look at her; if she grunts you are all
right, and can count on the engagement; but
if she says 'Sa,' you must poke around a.
nether. Refreshment consists of pies cut in
slices and handed around with a bucket of
ice water. Drinks are only attainable at near
saloons, or where some one has 'cached' a
bottle of the ardent in the show outside.
NEWSPAPERS.—Wherever 1 have wan
dered, in my missionary labors, whether in
the East or West, North or South, I have
always observed that where the newspaper
was taken by the family, there thrift, moral
ity, and general intelligence were to be found.
In the log cabins of the West, as soon as my
eye caught sight of the newspaper, I thought
to myself, 'Hero, at least, I will find morali
ty, intelligence, courtesy, and welcome, as a
garden ripe to receive the gospel seed and
I was seldoth mistaken. On the contrary,
where neither newspapers nor good books
were to be seen, there ignorance, bigotry,,str
perstition and grossness were found in
their forms. Yes, I have often thought that
the newspaper was the pioneer of civiliza
tion, and did muoh to make the way easy.for
the successful labors of tho home missionary.
—Lorenzo Dow
EQUALITY.—This life will not admit of e
quality; but sureley that man who thinks he
derives consequence and respect from keep
ing others at a distance is as the coward who
shuns the enemy from fear of an attack.
Flow to meant gray hairs—Keep your
bead shaved. Warranted not to fail.
A Quaker to his Watchmaker:
I here With send thee my pocket' elock;
which standoff' in need of thy friendly cor
rection. The last time be was at thy friend - - ;
ly sehool he was in no way , reformed, nor in
the least benefited thereby;' !or I perceiVit
by the index of his mind that' he is a liar
and the , truth is not in him; that his pulses
sometimes slow, which betokeneth not an
even temper; at other times he wazeth slug
gish, notwithstanding I frequently urge bin.
When he shuald be on' his duty,—ar-'-thou
eat-his-usua Lio e , n , bun
slumbering, or, as the vanity of, human
phrase is, batch hire - napping. Examine
him therefor, and prove him, I beseech thee,
thoroughly, that , thou mayest, being well
acquainted with' his inward fraule rind dis•
position, draw from him the error of his way,
and show him the
. path wherein be should
go. It grieves me to think, and when I pon
der thereon lam verily of the 'opinion that
his body is foul, and the whole mass is bor.
rupted. Cleanse him, therefore, with thy
charming physic, from all pollution, that ; he
may vibrate and circulate according to
,the
truth. I will place him a few' days under
thy care, and pay for his board as thou ye.
quirest. I entroat_thee,friend=John—Lto
deracan — thlSilf — iin this occasion with judg
men t, aecording_to_the_gift_w iehirtin_th ee,
and prove thyself a workman; and when
thou layest thy correcting hand upon him,
let it be without passion, lest thou shouldst
drive him to destruction. Do thou regulate .
'lime by 'he light
418 motintMr — time by thh motion of light
-that-ruleth-tbe - day - Tand - when - thnu — fitidaT
him converted from the error of his way, and
more comfortnable to the above-mentioned
rules, then do thou send him home with _a
chatges,-drawn-out-in--t-hs • •
Td it shall be sent to thee is
Of M:111ei - f - Itibil, /Mt
the root of all evil.
JENNY LIND AND THE BIRD.-I remeni-
-ber-hearing-a - stage driver's story of Jenny
Lind while ghe was riding in the country.
A bird of brilliant plumage perched on a tree
near as they drove slowly along, and trilled
out such a complication of sweet notes as
perfectly astonished her. The coach stor ped,
and reaching out she gave one . of her &eat
roulades.. The beautiful 'creature arched his
head on one side and listened deferentially,
then, as if determined to excel his famous
_rival r .raised_his_gra teful-th rest—and—sang — a
song of rippling melody that made Jenny
rapturously clap her hands in ecatacy and,
quickly, as though she were before a severe=
ly critical audiance in Castle Garden, de
livered some Tyrolean mountain strains that
seat th e echoes flying, whereupon little
birdie took it up and sang and trilled and
sang till Jenny `in happy delight acknowl
edged-that-the-pretty woodland warbler de
cidedly outcaroled the great Swedish Night
engale.
A Touan CASE.—In Arkansas, Elder
Knapp, while 'baptising' converts at a re-
vival meeting, advanced with a wiry, sharp
eyed old• chap into the water. He asked the
usual question, whether there was any reason
why the ordinance of_baptism should not be
administered. After a pause a tall, power
ful looking chap, with an eye like a blaze,
who was-leaning on a long rifle and" quietly
looking on, remarked : 'Elder, I don't want
to interfere in this yore business any, but
I want to say that is an old sinner you have
got hold of, and I know that one dip won't
do him any good. It you want to get the
sin out of him you'll have to anchor him out
in deep water over night.'
A friend recently went to a Dutch tailor
and had his measure taken for a pair of
pantaloons. He gave directions to have
them made large and full. Our friend is a
heavy man, and likes his clothes, loose, and
when he came to try on his new unmentiona
bles, found that they stuck tight to his legs,
whereat he thus remonstrated : I told you
to make these pants full.' After some ob
lugatory expressions of a profane nature, the
tailor ended the controversy by declaring
'I dink des pants is full enough; if dey vas
any fuller dey would sphlit.'
Tna SABBATII.—Sir Matthew Hale, the
illustrious chief justice of England, in his
memorable counsel to his grandchildren, said:
will assure you I was never inclined , to
fanaticism or superstition, but I have ob
served that whenever I have undertaken any
secular business on the Lord's day not indis=
pensably necessary, that business never pros.
pared ; and always the more closely I applied
myself to the duties of that holy day the
mare happy and successful were my business
and employment'of the following week, so
that I could, from the loose or strict obser.
Vance of that day, take a just prospect and
true calculation of my temporal success in
the ensuing week.'
MODESTY —There was once to be a meet
ing of the flowers, and the judge was to a
ward the prize to the most beautiful.• 'Who
shall have the prize?' said the other flow
ers, advancing, each with conscious pride,
and each imagining it would be herself.
will take a peep at these benutips,' thought
the violet, as she lay in her huMble bedwhot
presuming to attend the meeting. - 't will
see them as they pass.' But as she raised
her lowly bend ,to peep out of her biding
place, oho was observed by the judge, who
pronounced her the most beautiful, beintuse
the' most modest.
Among the superstitions of th`e Senimaln r
dians is one of singular beauty,' When a
maiden dies they. imprison a younp,o•birdltn
til it first • begins to try its power aiming,
and then, loading it with caresses, they loose
it over her, grave•in • the.,:helief thaf.it ,- will
not fold its wing nor close its eyes until it was
flown to the spirit laid, and delivered . its
precious burden of affeetion to tho loved and
Jest
lOCi Eme - s* Ve•istr,
PAT AND THE ALPHABET.—The follow
ing, scene occurred. recently in a school
room :---
'An, Pat, Pat ft` exclaimed the schoolmis
tress - to a thiCk headed urchin, into' whoti
muddy brain ahe was attempting to_heat-the
alphabet. 'l'm afraid you will never learn,•
anything. Now what's that letter. eh ?'
'Sure, I don't know,-ma'am,' replied Pat.
'I thought you'd recollect that.'
. 'Why, ma'am ?' ' .
--'l3ecause - it - has - a - dot-over
Jett, ma'am, mind it well, but - share It
thought it was ally-specie.'
'Well; tots , rememberi Pat, it's '
'You, ma'am?'
'No, no, not U, but I.'
'Not I, but you, ma'am— hOws that ?'
'Not I, but you, blockhead.' •
,
'O, jis, faith, now I have it Ma'am; you
mean to say that I, not you, ate a bloca
head.'
IRISHMAN AND FIDDLE —An Irishman,
just cube to this country, had never seen a
I fiddle. A man came into the hotel with one
under his arm. lie soon began to tune it up.
One of the screws slipped, and he spit upon
it to make_it_hold,and-then-beg,an-te-draw
the bow The Trisbinati, who was watching
him, could stand it no longer, but bolted a
cross the street, into another hotel, exclaim
ing : I.,thought this was a land of liberty and
freedom, but the divel take such a land where
ye abuse the poor childer_so_bad.!
— Landlord —'W - ho is abusing the children?'
Irishman:- - Whyia - man came ifiro - tWtav: —
ern just now, with a little boy under bis arm,
and he began to torment the dear little
erathure.
_First, he began to pull and twist
• -to-larevalce-him-more
- in — hirrieb, and then he draw'da briar across
his belly, and iloly Virgin, how he did
senate 1'
TITE-POLLY - OF - QUARRxr;s.--Twcnit tio
boys were talking together, when one of then•
said, •I wish I had all the pasture land in
the World.' The other said, 'And I wish I
had all the cattle in the world.'
'What would you do with them ?' asked
his-friond. -
'Why, I would turn theme into your pas.
tare-land.'
'No you wouldn't,' was-the reply.
'Yes I would.
"Blit wouldn't let you.
'I wouldn't ask you.'
'Yon shouldn't do it,' he screamed.
'I should.'
'You shan't
will;' and with that they seized and
pummeled each other in a rough and tuin c ide
fight.
Such is a specimen of the causes for which
people often quarrel. ,
A Kentucky traveller, dining at a large
hotel in Albany, was annoyed by the show
ing-off of the members of the assembly, who
kept calling each other from their respective
counties, after the• fashion—'l'll thank the
gentleman from Oneida,' &0., ito.,—Whern
upon the Kentuckian said to a !Inge darky
waiter, 'III thank the gentleman from Africa
for a slice of ham.
Henry Ward Beecher says that when he
was a student he frequently walked thirty
miles a day. On• one occasion, to see a cer
tain family, he walked fifty miles. It is to
be presumed that he finally became a mem
ber of that family.
A curiosity of meanness has been e4hib,
ited in San Francisco During the settle ! . .
ment of an estate in that city, on the 24th
of January, it was discovered that a brothei
of the deceased had charged the estate $4
for loss of time while attending the funeral.
An editor, describing a church in Min
nesota, says : 'No velvet cushions in our
pews, we don't go in style. The fattest per
son as the softest seat, and takes it out with
him at the close of the services.
Leave in your apartments an outlet for
coal gas. Coal gas and consumption are
fraternally linked, and very affectionate,—
Where one niakesit a habit of abiding, will
surely in due time be found the other,•
'Why are women like churches ?,
Firstly, because there is no living without
one; thirdly, because they are objects of ado
ration, lastly, but by no means least, because
they
,Lave a loud clapper in their upper story.
An Irish soldier, who now and then in.
dalg,ed in a drop of whiskey, was thus ac
costed by the reviewing general—
'NV hat makes your nose so red ?'
'Plaze yer honor,' replied Patrick, al
ways bloosh whin I spake to a Gineral officer.'
'Sam, why don't you talk to massa, and
toll him to lay up treasures in heaven 7'--
'What for? What do use of laying up
treasure!' dere, where ho never see 'em a
gain ?'
An exchange says'that the Grecian bend
is achieved by throwing the chest forward
and the trunk backwards What is done
with the rest of the baggage ?
, A young man, who was ensiled in love,
attempted atticideiTootttly, by taking a dose
of yeast pliwdor. He immediately rose above
bin troubles.
What class of ladies are apt to, give tone
to society ?
The belles.
Why is a reckless fellow like. a molt stab•
binrr at a shadow?
Because he he sticks at nothipp. .
Age before beauty, of opsriie:''"Lot oid
fulks retire befure ten.
NUMBER 85