•
4 - •
Ark
LUMR XXII.- - - -
I rair • I z :110
DRUGS
MEDICINES /
lUD Li Nig
PMNTS,
dre. &e.)
Go to Fourthman s
u)lal..u:N. Emaqfxmi2azm.
Waynesboro', May 24, 1867.
Ei_'.ZAl 2- 1 1 4.1 1 (e 1
SUMMER GOODS,
AT THE FIRM OF
STOVER Sr, WOLFF
(SUCCESSORS TO GEO. STOVER.)
DRY•GOODS,
CARPETS,
NOTIONS,
411TEENSWARE,
GROCERIES,
BOOTS AND SHOESI
CIJTILERY,
CEDERWA RE,
OIL CLOTHS,
ac.
To which we invite the ettentkni of all who want
Whop' cheap goods.
. May 1. 1868.
NEW MILLINERY GOODS !
MRS. C. L. HOLLINBERGER
Al 3 just returned from Philadelphia and is now
IFS opening out the lamest and most varied ail
sortatent,ot SPRING ANDSVAIMER MILLATIV
ERY GOODS _she has ever bibught to Waynes
boro'. The ladies are invited call and examine
her goods. Relidence on Church .Street, ' East
Bide. ' : _ 4 '
JOSEPH .11110VGLALS;
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
' eel Estate:and Tnellraliee Agent,
• Office in• Building.
• . Wa,ynesboro; Penni.
Mg'? 8-ti.
TE W ORLEANS MOLASSES—New crop of
N. 0. Molasses just received by
Feb. W A. RECD.
AND
STOVER & Wi iLFF.
WAYNESBORO, FRANKLIN_COTITY, PENNSYLVANIA, FRIDAY MORNING, J
3PCII3EIIeXCLAL.Ma.
Tipt Mpg OF WM.
NT OLIVER WENDELL SOLNIES.
Whit Hower is this that greets the -morn.
Its hues from heaven so freshly born
With burning-star-and-flanthig•ba44'
It kindles all the sunset land 3
O tell us what its name may be,— •
Ie this the Flower of Liberty
It is the banner of the free,- -
he-starry_Floworof Liberty I-
In savage Natore's far abode
Its tender see s our at era Bowe 7 — ' — "
The storm-winds rocked its swelling bud,
Its opening leaves were streaked with
l? lood.
to I earth's tyrants shook to see
The full-blown Flower of Liberty f
Then hail the banner of the free,
The starry Flower of Liberty !
Behold its streaming rays unite,
One mingling - flood of braided light,— -
The red that fires the" Southern rose, ,
With spotless white from Northern snows,
Ated,,,spangled o'er its azure, see
The dieter eters Of Liberty
Then hell the babner of the free,
, The starry Flower of Liberty !
The blades of heroes fence it round,
Where'ere it springs is holy gro and ;
From tower tnd dome its glories spread ;
It - waves - where - lonely - sentries - tread
It makes the land as ocean free,
• ,ants-al
Then hail the banner of the free,
The starry Flower of Liberty I
The sacred leaves, fair Freedom's flower,—
Shall ever float on dome and tower,
To all their heavenly color's• true,
In-blackening_frost_e Colson dew
And God love us as we love thee,
Thrice holy FloWer of Liberty !
Then hail-thebanner of the free,
The starry Flower of Liberty !
IVI~~C~~LLA,.NY.
PLEASANT-STORY.
BY BEIIRLEY BROWN.
Eleven o'clock—at least so said the gold ,
en tide of sunshine, creeping over the vol.
vety turf of the village green, and losing it
self in the foliage of the big maple trees; and
so said the little clock in Judge Cornell's
law office on the Main street, speaking in a
sharp, melodious chime.
Harry Grover glanced quietly at the ;
6 nn,-
compromisina little dial, as he entered. th e
d omain of `J oke upon Littleton.'
'Pm late this morning,' he muttered,lang•
ing up his,hat behind the door; 'but, as
good luck will have it, the Judge has not
made his appearance yet." 1
He was a straight, handsome young fel
low, with curly brown hair, limped 'basil
eyes, and a healthy flush on his sunbrowned
oheeks—a young man whom.you instinctive
ly felt•youeould trust at entrance, as you
looked into his frank, honest face. There
are not many such; more's the pity.
'Whew—whew—whew whistled Mr.
Harp Grover, turning 'over his pile of legal
documents in a very unmethodical sort of a
way. 'Law and love were never meant to
go together; of that I am certain. Pretty
Ariel Brown's blue eyes are shining rogishly
out at me from every bit of parchment or
printed blank I. touch. How lovely she
looked last night—and who would ever sup
pose that the old oat and her false curls and
grinning porcelain teeth could be her aunt.
Bich too, they say; a good match for some
desperate fortune hunter, who is willing to
swallow the bitter old pill for the sake of
the gold coating—talking about old Experi
ence Browne, I believe I have a business let
ter to write to her about that piece of land
by the school-house corners that she wants
me to buy.- Not I I When Ipnrchase land
for a building spot, it won't be a desperate
pasture, where rooks and mullen stocks fight
together, to see which shall 'possess the
staunch soil The old lady must take me for
a very unsophistical. character, indeed. I
:wonder, how if blue-eyed Ariel will-ever be
a wrinkled oantamerian, clutching after bar
gains. Pooh I I should as soon think of a
white.pinmed little dove being , transformed
into a greedy vulture I'
Be leaned back in his chair, -
with both
bands clasped on top of his curly head, and
looked out abstractedly into the slashing yid;
lage street, humming an old tune under his
breath—a tnne,whese burden was 'Love still
love.
Plainly Mr. Harry
. Groyer was very little
disposed for work thartuorniog. And when
at twelve o'clock, Judge Cornell came in.
there was but -a hopeless ohaos - of papers on
the table to represent his young partner's
matutinalleborr •
(Why, Grover, you haven't accomplished
a thing this moroing,' said the old Judge,
glancing keenly, around thriiLhis antiquoit.
ver bound spectacles.- '1 am• afraid that the
'pretty girls at SquireDockthorn's party.last
night, were too. much for year equilibri
am.',.
. .
•
`-(Well t you see, sir, I've been rather, 'Sort
ing the - papers over, said Harry s little
sheepishly, 'and I've written two letters this
morning.'
(Two lettere ?'
'Yes, sir.'
'May I ask ter-whom •
*Oi e waxto Mitre Experience ,Browne; t 1
bout that lot she wanted, to sell me—a toga.
MEM
= t Viarritt - - We
!ar clipper, giving the old girl a piece of my
mind—and
'The other—' -- .
'Ahem—:that wasn't "exactly business let
_ter. Now, Judge, suppose you and , ,l, look
over these ejectment papers together l'
• The Judge smiled elylyi he had an idea
as to what the other letter contained. Ev
ery one in town knew how hopelessly Mr.
Harry Grover was in love with pretty Ariel
Browne, Judge Cornell had been young
himself not so many years ago. _
'lt's just as well for the lad to mar and
settle down,' thought the old. geMman,
'and Ariel will certainly make as sweat a lit
tle wife as hurnatimiortal could with for.'
natty needn't have been so mysterious,
sealing and direoting his two letters at the
tail desk behind the office door.
Judge Cornell knew just as well what was
-in-therit-as-if-he-hadnread-every=vord_with_
his awn eyes. But young people have a mis
aken-idea-that-old—people—don't-know—a
thing.
Miss Arid Browne Set in her room busy
with a complicated piece of bright-colored
wob-work that ladies call 'crochet,' when
Bridget tapped softly at the pannels of the
door.
'Please,'Miss Ariel, a letter
'A letter 1 and for me 1 Dear me, Bridg
et, who can it be from-?'
'Fair, then, and it's =self doesn't know,
but Lawyer Grover's office boy brought it,
and an impudent young spalpeen it is for—'
_ . ixt__ere_nrid let became consoious that
her young mistiese was paying no attention
to her, and withdrew into her department of
the kitcthen, there to nurse her grief in soli
tude.
Adele cheek had turned as pink as the
inside of a wild rosebud, and as she read the
quperseription, of the letter, her heart beat,
perhaps a purse or-two-faster-tban=was-its
woot, but she broke open the missive -with
, solute-hand,-aml-re , •
'My Dear Mies Browne: [Rather cold be
ginning,' she pouted.] must beg to de
cline all further negoritations with you. As
you cannot - for - a - moment seriously - suppose - .I
care to possess anything so worn down and
good for nothing, it is cureless to waste either
of our time-in say more preliminaries.
.1 wit - IT:lain - hie afternoon and Teturrito
you the papers you eo unnecessarily took the
trouble to send me.
'Yours very trldy,
Arid threw down the note, and burst in
to tears.
'The cold-hearted, presumptuous villain,'
she sobbed.--'Papers,-indeed I I suppose ho
means the note I wrote to him about the pie
nio. Oh, how foolish I have been, how ab
surd, and lam rightly fished for my fol.
ly.'
But still Arid wept on ; when ,a girl.of
eighteen has built up a glittering .castle in
the air, whose foundations are laid — in her
own heart, she cannot see it dashed ruthless
ly into ruins without a few natural tears.
Meanwhile, Miss Experience Browne, aged
fifty-five well ripened autumns, was reading,
with no little astonishment, the letter which
Bridget's enemy, the postboy had brought
for her.
'U-pon my word I' exclaimed Miss Ex
perience, slowly and emphatically. 'The im
pertinent young fortune-hunter huinbug !
Does he suppose I am a born fool, to swal
low such a pack of sentimental flattery, As
this 7' 'Lovely eyes—dimples l' It he had
said spectacles and wrinkles, he'd have been
considerably nearer right. No you don't my
fine ' fellow—no—;you—don't ! --.Experience
Brown hasn't lived fifty-five years in the
world to fall into such a trap as this at. last.
'He is to call this afternoon to 'receive the
answer that is do decide the whole current
of his future life, will he Is Well, let him
call. I'll be ready for him, and I'll warrant
he won't be in a hurry to call again.'
•
And• Miss Experience chuckled to herself
until all her false curls quivered, as , she fol•
ded the letter neatly, and put it back into
the hurriedly-directly envelope
'I never had an offer of marriage before,'
she thought, viewing her autumnal counte
nance in the pier•glass, and adjusting the lit
tle puffs of ribbon in her .cap-border, 'and it
does make one feel kind of queer. It's
something to tell of anyway. Bethuar Jones
need'nt go to say now that I was an old maid
because I never bad an offer. just : won
der what Ariel would nay.—l guess I won't
tell her; she would only laugh at me I'
Miss Experience.drew herself up as grim
ly as if 'her spinal column were a bar of iron,
that afternoon when Bridget announced:
'Mr ; graver, rued .
• 'Show him-in, Biddy—i am quite at leis
ure to-receive him.'-
And our hero; entirely innocent of the int.
pending storm that awaited him, walked in
to alias Experience's, awful presence, with a
bundle of title deeds , ip his hands, tied. with
the dada' looking red tape of his profession.
'Good afternoon, Miss Experience!
'Ain't you ashamed .of yourself, Harry
Grove"?' ejaculated the spinster, in a deep,•
stern voice. - 'Get along with yourself, ma
king love to an old woman more% twice as
old as you be, just banana° she's got a little
money,! What do you take melor, heY ?
Don't atand statie there ! „Walk out of; this
room. quick. or thrOW' the big diotiona;ry
at your head! N0,.n0, reo, -Now. have you
got your t I :Ntiouldtef
fuirry you if 'there 'wasn't` annthet:Oittil in
the whole tow if.'
.
''Harry Grover 'Waft t .
siO f his
charge of horse and Wet but he stood his
. •
ground manfully, not even quailing* the
big.diotionary.
'But, Miss Browne--will- you heir . me ti*
mothenti I don't want you to marry_me
what put that strange fancy into your bead?'
. 'You don't want to marry me Y. Then . what
the mischief- does this letter 'Demi, I'd like to
know.. ,
_
'May loa"it •. •
Ilitrry..took the lettoi, 4 1n4 enteed,4ol,
its contents - thriaf a neut.lis4 aa . the unoc
countable state of affairs.
(Good Cupid I what tibloakhe'ad';—what an
unmitigated, inexcusable ) ineomparable
key 1.--bares been,l- Whatzould-iltarsbeeu
thinking about ?'
'Hey 1' demanded the ;puzzled' spinster.
'Excuse me, ma'am, but there btu; been a
mistake—a—'
And without stopping to complete his
fragmentary sentence, he rushed out of the
room to the little bay-windowed parlor where
Ariel usually sat. „
'Well, I never exclaimed Miss Ex•
-perience, as the doothanged -unceremonious
ly fa her face.
'Ariel ! Miss Browne •
But Ariel turned haughtily from , the
.
pleading eyes of her laver.
'Your letter is quite sufficient, sir; breed
im4arthekesponeni-oL3Four-uteatriner
'Ariel—darling—there has been. an .ab
urd-mistake ; this-is-theietter-intended:-fo
you. The other was written to your aunt
on business, and by some unaccountable
blunder,. got into the wrong envelope. I
have been a fool—a blockhead; but I" leve
you, dearest, with all my heart. Ariel, you
.will not send me away l'
No—Ariel did not send him away, for the
shy smiles and the rosy bloom were begin.
!ling to comb back to her_face as she read
the real letter.
'But, Harry,' she said, with a roguish dim
ple at the corner of her mouth, 'you must
confess that, aunt Experience's note had
ra ier an - unploasaritatyle — .
'I was a careless-reprobate,' said Harry,
frankly. 'But you see Judge Cornell was
watching me, and-'
And-that was the_ end- of_ an, tolautidar
standing between Harry Gliover and Ariel
Browne, thenceforth for ever more.
Misslxperience_was disappointed in two
things.--She would like to have sold the
0-1-11-0-rale-r-hq_a • $ I
to have said that once in the course of her
sfty•five years of her life, she had- ao offer
of marriage.
'However,' said Miss Experience, 'Ariel
is very happy, and may-be . things are best as
they are. '
Of all the returning', that one 'after the
funeral' is the saddest. Who will say it is
not so, who has followed a beloved one to
the grave ? While he was . sick we went in
and out, anxious, sorrowing, suffixing. The
solicitude to relieve, and dare for, and com
fort him, engrossed us ; the appreheusion_of
our own dissolution, in ease he should be re
moved from us, almost drove us wild.
While he lay dead under the home roof,
there was a hurry end bustle in preparation
For the final rites. Friends aro tent for,
neighbors are present, the funeral arrange
ments are discussed, the mourning procured '
the hospitalitiee of the house provided for;
all is excitement; the loss is not•yet perceived.
in all its greatness. •
But 'alter the fun'eral,' after the bustle
- has subsided and things began . to move on
as usual, then.it is'we begin to know what
has befallen us. The belie° seems still and
sepulchral though in the heart of the town ;
and though its threshold" be trodden by
friendly feet, it is as if empty. The apart
meats, how deserted ! especially the room
where he struggled and surrendered in the
last conflict. There are his clothes, there
,are his books, there his hat and - cane, there.
I his ever vacant seat 'at the family board
During his sickness we had not so much no
ticed these things, for we hoped ever that
be miglit use or occupy them. But now the
dreadtul - vacuity is'everywhere. -
Oh - how dark and cheerless the night
shadows come down after the funeral. No
moon or stars ever shone so dimly no dark
ness ever seemed so utterly dark. The tick
ings of the clock resound like bell strokes
all over the house. No foot-step, now on the
stairs or overhead in the sick chamber ; no
nurse and watchers to come and say, 'he is
not so well and ask for you.' No, indeed,
you may sleep on now and take your rest, if
you can. Ah, poor heart ! It will be long
before the sweet rest you once knew will re
visit your couch, or slumber will bring again
the scenes through which you just have
passed. and you will start from' it but to find
them all toe real. God pity the mourner 'af
ter the funeral.'
H. GROVER.'
A. lad siallowda small lead' bullet. ' His
friends were very Much alarmed about it,
and his father and mother, deterrained that
no moans should - by spared to save the dat.
Hog boy's life, sent post-haste to a 'surgeon
of skill, directing the' mesbenmer-to tellthim
'the circumstances, and urge his coming -with
out delay,
The doctor was found, heard the dismal
tale, and with as touch'unconcern as he -
Would manifest in a common headache, wrote
the following lauortic reply:.
'Dear Sir ; - Doo't.alarin yourself. If af
ter. three weeks the, bullet is not removed,.
give the boy a eharge of powder.
- yours, So." .
- P. S.—Don't point the boy at anybody.'
The be plan. forany_one to ado pt when
there are any inseate'na lOwls, is to letAkenf
"Sleep on'pine Shavings, and fhe • turpentine
will , soan drive : away, ullineents: „I Amami;
;Lulea epriuklait on in 'idea bed. t - tu4
.01G
flees toorchsavo: .
tl3arne4elks:ateprodiginiody,panittiat aver,
other feople'a sins, and seem to think ; they
boo: a speeial 43311 to cent* in..= before, 'the'
Whole world. They will gouge their broth•
'er's eyes airt 'rather -than' learie a -single' mato
in them, At•tho same time they:artr
linty blind reapaeting tbeit own failings.
An. exchangevsys A There ,is sometbiog
sweet about little girls' The Louisville
Joaritai adds : 'And it grawe on them as
.
tljey=growbigger.'
•
-.After-the Funera.l
THE CHURCH
On Sunday emeek Rev.
Washington, Pa„ preaohed a
iNciiie qit — tra livoth ea
(Romans : 7,) in : which he maintains ,
christiatufere-bound to giVe their sympathy
and assi ce to enterprises calculated to
promote 411 moral and material, welfare, of
. , •
the communities in which they live. Allu
ding to the, contemplated railroad front Wash,
ington to Pittsburg,, he said : -„
I say - this bemuse it is tr duty owed tiasoi
oiety. - I speak not of mete trorldlY adVan'
tags. True enough, railroadipaising through
or near your property, will increase its: vat : -
uo. It will make your !tonsil more valuable . .
It - will
.make your forests, your nroliards,
-Pur-gardenet Tour'
your quarries, yourrfroilt:. s, anal d - allyou — have
of- more: worth • intrinaicallyi, - and- to
yield tar - more largely in actual .protit. .This
it all so true, that irr were an ()Wier nf
'land through which alailroadwas . filiuigiing
to be built, .l_would subscribe rlargely to it
even if I had to borrow motley and portgage.
,the land foi security.
But apart from all this' it beer:lnlet "the
'Christian duty to help with' snob au outer
prise when he can, because: of% the good, it
will do society. it will improve the people,
it will develop the resources of country,
it-will add largely to its efhAemay,and help
ing on with the introduction and cultivation
ofAtiLtlicLinflacnc_es necessary to make the
oolhmunity -what it ought to be,-
compilation and active . rivalry, with that by
which it is surrounded, Yet I hear of men
,talking about getting damages.. They wont
to be paid for being made rioh. They want
to have compensation for having facilities af•
forded them for getting their products to
marks fifor n-g—p-ut—into—communica—
tion with the rest of the w'r d , • •
to be rewarded for having means furnished
them for developing their manhood, and put
ting them on a respectable equality in point
of enterprise and vigor with their fellow men.
They might with equal propriety fine the
clouds for raining, the fountains f r gushieit,
the sun and wind for sprouting •their seeds,
fostering - their vegetation-and-ripening-theft
baiveats. .
Besides this I have heard-of others who
talk in this way: 'We have our fends 'here,
which we do not want to sell; they raise all
we want and we ate happy; we expect to
live here, die here,-and from here be carried
to our graves; we do not want to be any
richer; the railroad wilideV - iiif - no -- good, -, it
will do us harm, for it will disturb our quiet
and impose on us new labor.' It is almost
refreshing to hear a man, in these days of
avarice and cupidity, say he does not want
to become 'richer, yelall snch reasoning as
this only proceeds from selfishness and want
of-spirit that is squarely in opposition to the
teachings of the gospel of Christ: Suelt
men are only obstructions in the public high
way.-" They:are like trees blowd acroes the
toad, impeding walleye! and commerce
They are snagein the channel which not on
ly ripple the cuireet, but also atop the' 'yes
eel.. They are like the stumps standing on
the bill side; the stump silently stands for
life—as long as it can be a stump. It has
ne ambition' to get away, to do anything, • to
rise any higher ' :to be anything else than a
stump.. All. the noise of business, of storms,
of bird songs, or anything p( which the air
is full fails to disturb' it. It sends tip no
bough on which the bird van build its nest,
or where it can sit :to sing. It affords no
shade for the oxen. It yields no fruit for
man or beast. It reaches out no arms to the
winds, nor cares for the blowing clover ' and
falling rain. When the horses and plough
came along they must go around it. When
the reaper comes by, it must make a detour
to get out of the way. All the business • of
the farm must give place to the stump., Men
want it out of the way—it is a nuisance.—
Ltt the axe, tlie'fire, tho lever, be employed
to exterminate it.' There it sticks tdl.it rote
away and is - gone.
Thus do many men. They are. fastened
down
,to, the soil of their farms. There
they expect to live and die. What good
will a locomotive. whisee do them ? - It
cannot make them eatany_ more or sleep
,any more, and ,that is all tiley want to do.
They care nothing abimt society or business
or the World—it is all'themselves: The'y.say,
let us alone, and Jet the -world take care of
itself. They say let us have our sleep and
I the world may have.ita railroads. The
whole prosperity o f the country m u is z
stop f o r Them. The 'business si f the
neighborhood must go , iiroand them; They
will help nothing bat thennielves. Wrapt
up in intense selfishness - they are willing to
see society deteriorate, business languish, the
resources of•the country remain ruideveloped,
awl all;ita. interests.. left far in the rear of a
rapidly moving enterprise aroundthein. Af
ter awhile they rot, away-as the; stump did,
and that's all that's left of •thern3 I say the.
'goipet of Ohl ist abhors snob Christianity.:--
lie not • like stumps. Rather be like the
streams that flow through your 4016 and
MeadOwS. Through the' night they telkUnd
sing cheerinllj pleasantly, ennoitragiagly. to
the istining ears and hearts ahout fthecu_—
Whey sparkle i continual,,. y . . They
fringe, their Aiot dere with grasses andflew
43fiS,atock.kr every hued spread4etierons bee:-
factioix, - ';Fcaergetiii, -untiring; heneacient'
their loii would be - , felt as. a calamity,._, B:-
i p r,o that pal* he worthsoutethiag::,,
"Bit 'pare thin nisi it: i the ditty of etf-,
oil 10.-got.::righer tatilloadell-heTeati:
Pievidatkee Ofler:3mA logeey. taloa_ .
He- unitte foyuu,aFtd. pair arjll.ipa telo . aty ,
&UMW a n te.,4o.,'''4Our' land Provided yjiu
will give insult Hts gear :
osity and itevitOlioNlikpletuture iryes refus e
iii accept IL; .ilisineanaat.iiirlqu,-...it is for
you to receive it. Sta,priSe . the tea to whom
such en dray is made doea eoltviatit 4;' jaw:
_ His children way Waft:l.o4ll4
help'. • -Phi
off i tt4debt.
pled: all the time.,
ldiseintiary . - Ikards ere
arty, - its book depositor
bpoks. Its,wholo maphiaery,
inefficieit to a certain extent; t_
of 'lands.' Yet' selfish Christinir,•
this before their eyes will posikaway I . lk.
ifittitiid — with Ili their. reach as niuoh as. luny,
ilf l'rovidence will help the world let Him
weal-to-tie-lat-alone-algid" rt.--Wif-tfekev-e
-the, railroad now talked of_
. he
. and
:if it be, every scream oh whistle will tell
`the praise or those who helped to Oolisertiet
it and'proclaim the selfish niggardliness of
those .who relasecL
Easily , Suited.
other' -'The day a young gentleman from
the , citatatryi stepped _into- Leede—Jewelry
store in Waynesboro', and informed•the pre
prietor that his ocznpatiom was that ofa car.
paiitec wind ha desirdd to get a bosorti;pin
emblematical of that "profession; The obli
gingjew_eler looked_o_ver_itis_titopkond
jog nothing else, showed him a very fine ma
sonic pin. The young Man looked at it.tiare
fnily,.,'Yes,' busaid, that is it. There is the
compass and the square. 1 use both of them,
but why , &let they pit a saw in it ?_ It's
first rite as far as it goes. IlullowJ there's
all there, whit does that stand for t.
er , tati t now. • •,;••
and a bright thought strnok' him. His face
flashed' as it he had made a discovery.
'I have it,' he said, 'it's all right, G stands
for gimlet. That will 'do. sake - it:
There . MS a little touch of aidaess in his
voice as he pinned the emblem oo his coat
and wont away muttering;
— 'Squars-compass and - gimlets
there was, a saw, ttongli.'
A decent looking frishmart, stopping at
hotel lo,.warrn himself, inquired , of the landT
lord, 'What was the news ?'
The landlord, dispmed to run. a r i g upon
Paddy, 'replied " _
'They say that the devilis dead T
- sure,' (path Pat, 'that's news in
dada.
Shortly after, Pat stalks up to the bar, and
depositing some coppers, resumed his seat.
The landlord, always ready for a oustcmer,
asked him what he would take.
4 Nothing,at all,' said Pat.
'Why Aid you put dims this moray ?'-ask
ed the host.
'Och,'an'atire, sir,' said Pat, 'it's the OM.
tom in my own country, when a chap like
you loses kis daddy, to - give him a few : cup•
pars to help pay fur the wake.' . .
Landlord stood treat all around.
'flow many genders are there, asked a
schoolmaster.
'Three, sir,' promptly replied blue eyes,
groveulioe, feminine and neuter.'
Tray, 'give me an example of each,' said
the master;
'May, you are masculine i because you.azo
a man, and .I am a ieminiue, because I am a
girl'
',Very-well, proceed. .
'I don't know,' said tba little girl, 'bur I
moon Mr:' Jenkins is neuter as he is an ull
Lazyness is a good deal like money—the
more a mau. bap the more he seems tcw
want.' •
When the man proves a literary failure ha
generally sets .op tor critic; like the fox in
the fablo, who had loot his brush:in a trap s
he karat see a nice long tail withont hanker ,
ing tow bob it.
The devil owes most'of hie success tew the
fact that he is alwap ea hand.—Josh
'Fatb.er, t think you, told a"fib is the pal.
pit to dap',' said-a-little 8011 of a clergyman..
'Why, what do you mean ?'
• ( Xoti,.-.Baid, One word more and . / and.
done, and- thou you went on and said 'a great
many more "Weide- The people egape..qted:
you'ti leave 'ot-'oause- yo tea promisel:44m.
Rat-you didn't, and kept on preikhitsea,
long while after-the time was. up.'
. .
An Musternpaper sip': A story is tOld
of a jolty' felDiw who resided in 'Chicago' a.
Gout tour years, aod, while on •an Eastern
visit, was asked how he liked the water oat,
West. - 'By George, said he • ai ter
amotoettettrietlgetion, 4 .l never. thought- to.
.try t§i.
-7-1---7------.0.•4-_' , , ..
~. s . .>
`'A wostero tili•Oliaai laiely - ohalkeit.'on .a, '`,
big: hog-theed-rt front-of Witrstore;'l4 sai)-2!
A. passttig.wag added, •k'un freight: or - pas,
7sago:appky at , the 4unghole.! . .' _
-
A. Lana nameA - Teueci has married 'az Nis".
Chess ife telsed heruatil she
agreot she. woulaul. be Cross auy •gaeraigi:
.
' i roit want nothing, do' you 7 0 said trat: -•
tHedkciklat' 'wits nothing_ you want; you'll
And itla-the•j,ug witere the lithiskey was:' '
"Any aisO base enough - to," beat his Wife,.
'ought to be' fdaend
,apne the bask •of 'a 'bard
trotting horse, and:nuidis• to collect the • des
a 441010.10 Ortilf),Z3Cor4
ITbat's attYritii'pkoss - -as otq devil Bai4
sthetkbewkiEiselisis
V W-I,if tEak,rtzor,--,4
- 1 do wish
. '"r-r4