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VOLUME XXI. _-_ . WAINESBORW,- FRANKLIN
,COUNTL. ar t'
---•,....---- _ _ h ead '
. The-Garden of Gel . '
---- PillnaErriler.A.l. and she drew it away, bent over her
_ - • and kissed me ever eo much,.aud Uncle &k_ A. traveler. in kalaat :
-- " ."' walked- - away.:; - _--•,;-:-L.":"- -, -" , ".'--"-• - - -t- ',',')-- - .regarding the pro
'•-'' • - -/./)-11 - ' . •'..,-..;-* --.---- I guess he was only trying to see it it
,• ) - - • fc....,,, : j orn7,-- .44;4;7 located in the
was the same. color-am his moustache,....-___ foot of. t b, -
4 .. , . -,• - •V•v• - .- ----,?..:.'" ' ',----
' 1-.. .• ..... 4- _,.c,i c ir" - -..v.!--- , ! 1 - Oh I I r is got the prettiest mamma; her closur
c. . -"- ' •• ''"i - : - ~,• , :.. - ir..- -:. - eyes Shine so bright, null . her little hands are „b. ,
_ . •
• so soft; I declare I am proud of her.
L 1 F 13; Snuffy don't live here now; Annie to
. me out, and gentlemen with caps and -
We are floating down the river, many buttons on their coats ask
We shall soon be out tosea ; deal, ask Annie 'how old I P
-- We shall soon be lost forever' ----- '---- ,
,live: They are very par
:- - In its wide immensity, -- -"="-:-.T- """ ' don't think it is qui t e
my cap over my r
, We have passed the sunny meadows tedious,
Many and many a year ago; • I've h. -
There the stream was small and narrow, a for
But a little brook did,flow.;_, ,__ - 1 , -
NOW - 0 7 e faintly catch the music
. .
. . - Dimly see the the sunshine glow.
Far behind us are the mounts'
Memory haunt.; their s• -
Gloriows day-dream-
Like-the_trec
We have passed the sunny meadows'
Many awl many a year ago;
There the stream was small and narrow,
But a tittle brook
Nevir'.o 7 e faintly catchthe music •
Dimly see the the sunshine glow.
Far behind us are the mountain
Memory haunt.; their summits yet ;
Glorious day-dreams cluster round them,
Lovingly we turn our faces
To those mountains with regret,
We were wrecked at many places
Where the hidden rucks iibountl—
Whese the current swept us swiftly
With a wild and surging sound;
And the d Aviv us
On our doultoLul tortutics frowned
Then the river, growing wider,
eeper, swnter, in ns course,
Bears us, like the !loath g lea llzt,
Orman!, with resistless Mee ;
So we scarcely note the valleys,
'Or the softly !minded hills—
Cateh-the-chorus-of-the-reltin,
As in melodies she thrills.
)Moonlight seedy throws her lustre
Mr the liver and the bay,
And the thiylie.ht chases darkness,
And the darkness chases day.
WHERE 11 HOME.
Home's net merely four square walls,
Thougn with pictures Lung and gilded ;
Heine is wihire asi: , ction calls,
Futcd with shrines the heart has buildei
Home !-go w; it -h the faithiui dove,
'neatn the heaven above us e
r lere therVis iYU to hive !
lime is where there's one to love 114 -
Home's not trwrely ro and mont—
h needs something, to endear it ;
Home is where the heart can bloom,
_ Where, therc'E , Rome kind li. to cheer it
NV hit is home with cone to meet,
None to welcome, none to greet us?
Home is St% e. t, and only sweet,
--
11 hen there's one who Lees it
tne.lt'9!
~;~ - _ T- 4
THE BABY JOURNA.T 4
PY" ETHEL. LYNN.
lam here. And it this is that what they
call the world, I don't think much of it.
It's a very fiinnelly world, and smells of
paragoric awfully. It's a dreadful light
world too, and makes me blink, I tell you.
And I do IC' know what to do with my hands;
I think . l'll dig my fists in toy eyes. No, 1.
won't. I'll scrabble at the corner et my
blanket and chew it up, and then I'll holler:
whatever happer:s, I'll holler. And the more
paragoric they give me the louder I'll yell.
The old nurse puts the spoon in the corner
of my mouth in a very uneasy way, and
keeps tasting my milk herself all the while
She spilled snuff in it last night; and when
hollered, she trotted me. That comes of
being a . two days old
.. baby. Never mind,
when I'm a man, I'll pay her , back good
There's a pin sticking in me now, and if I
say a•vord -- be — treit - ted orfcti,
and I would rather have catnip tea. I'll tell
you who I am. I found out to day. I
heard folks sak‘linsh, don't wake up -Elm
mcline's baby.' That's me. 'Emme•
line's baby; and I suppose that pretty, white
faced woman over on the pillows is Emme
line.
No, I was mistaken, for a chap was in
here just now and wanted to see Bob's baby,
and looked at nie, and said, 'I was a funny
little toad, and looked just like Bob.' Ile
smelt of cigars, and I'm not used to them.
I wonder to who else I belong to. Yes,
there's another one—that'S 'Gramma,' Em
meline told me, and then she took um up
and held me against her soft cheek and said,
'lt was Gratunaa's baby, so it was.' J. de
clare I don't know who I do belong to, but
I'll holler, and mai be I'll find out.
There comes snuffy with catnip tea. Thu
idea of giving babies catnip tea who are cry
jug for information ! I'm going to sleep.
I wonder if I don't look pretty red in the
face ? I wonder why my hands won't go
where I want them to. I wonder what snuf
fy has in that big black bottle, and why she
don't give Gramma's baby some.
Here's Bob he's one of- the people I be
long to you know. Ile kisses me , and
scratches me with his mouth—l don't wear
a moustache myself. I like. Gramma. She
treats•mo like a gentleman, and parts my
hair .on the side. snuffy parts it in: the
I'm a year old, and I've got a name. I'm
.3 . 0 and Uncle Jo gave me a silver cup .this
=morning, but they won't, let me
_Dave -it to
'bang op the table. Gramma would give it
to me in •a minute, and - r think . 'some clay,
when I catch her alone,-I'll get itlet. -
Cousin Lizzie is staying here. She is a•
nice girl, only she won't let me pull,,ber
I think she unght—such loog, soft;
,yenoW
curls. She won't let Uncle' Jo touch a m etirl
Other. 'lle just lifted one up the other day
WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, FRIDAY, MORNING,: APRIL 8,,18681
and ebe drew it away, bent over her head
and kissed me ever eo tnueb,.and Uncle Ji
walked- • - . 7: • - )
I guess he was only trying to see if it
was the same color as his moustache,---__
Oh I've got the prettiest mamma; her
eyes Shine so bright, aud her little hands are
so soft; I declare I am proud of her.
Snuffy don't live here now; Annie takes
me out, and gentlemen with caps and a great
many buttons on their coats ask me a great
deal, ask Annie how old I am and where I
live . . They are very polite to---me but - I
don't think it is quite right of Annie to keep
my cap over my eyes so much; it is rather
tedious.
I've had lots of toothache, and I've raised
a few teeth ; they dont't come out as Gram.
ma's do though. My pretty mamma tells me
to show my toofies, and then I have to grin
tor everybody. I trio Bob's anger yesterday
but he didn't seem to mind it.
I've got short clothes on and Cousin Liz
zie is teaching me to dance. Uncle Jo helps
• s en_Lam through • my__lessess•
she caches me up and kisses, me and right
on the same spot Isn't that queer ?
Cousin Lizzie is going home soon ; I'm
sorry ; so's Unkle Jo. I heard hint tell her
so, and then she stooped to ne my sleeve
button, and grew 'very red about it. That's
1.1,11127 too.
I've got a little sister, She looks pretty
well for a girl. I remember when I did Dot
-leak-a ay—be t n d-to-h-er_
but she must understand at first that she
=in usnri-mi-frer-e-1-d-er-bruther
Cousin—Lizzie - has a new bright ring on
her finger; I guess Uncle Jo gave it 'to her
She don't - scold when he pulls her curls
now.
Oh ! ain't I glad I've g.ot a grarnrila ? for
iorgets ate now sometimes, an.
mamma Emmeline is so white and still
Graninia
isu't so taken :1
orget—not she ;an e e
with that girl baby that
sbe can't remember a fellow that used to be
No. 1. She says wy nose is out of joint,
IPA it dun't fee! broken
I djn't want to be ugly, but I do bate to
see the baby in my place, and I bear thew
tell-Iter-tbat-she-is-tll6-dearest little dot that
ever lived.
They used to tell me just so, And I don't
like to see my dear mamma so very still with
her eyes shut
IV.
I knew it was a sorrowful world when I
caureand-that-is - why I cried.
I've tried to-day to wake dear mamma, and
f cannot. She will not speak to me, or wove,
or open her bright eyes. She Aloes not even
turn when the baby cries. Both her little
hands are lain upon her breast, and full 'of
flowers. And Wusin Lizzie and Gramtna
are a I in black frocks. and I've got blsek rib
bons on And Bob sits by her with his
head in his hands; and uncle Jo stands be
sidti-fliem both, and Isys his hand on Ids
shoulder, and sa3s, 'God help you, brother.'
And all the while the sun is hbining in the
street and the people go by as they always
do. The canary iniOt know this was .no
time to sing—when dear mamma will never
wake again.
.She held me in her arms last night and
kissed mo, and said, 'Good bye, little (I% l —
tell roe she has gone to heaven ; but it
is uo comfort to me. I don't know witete
heaven is, or, how to get there. I looked
up at the stars, but 1 liked the shine of mam
ma's eyes better. And I want her here.-
1 must be good to the , baby, and I mean to
be; what ever happens, I . lu going to at'and
by that baby.
FACTS ABOUT TILE SUN.— The sun is dis
tant from the earth 02,000,000 of miles, its
diameter 850,000 utiles, or more than one
hundred times than that a the, earth. It
placed -where the earth ii, its circumference
would nut only include the moon 230,000
miles from the earth, but would reach out
- past - iv,-n - oarty . as far - .again.. A man stand.
lug ou the sun would be crushed flat"by his
own weight if he could stand the heat tong
enough. The treat of the sun's surface is e
qual to that which would be produced by
hurtling six tuns of coal per hour on cacti
square yard. It is very much greater than
would he required to melt any metals known
On earth, `lire wost brilliant light that eau
be manufactured by circlets:B luaks like a
black spot if Contrasted with the sun
The outer surface of the sun is composed
of scales about the shape of, •a willow lout,
and perhaps 1,000 miles long. It is these
that give out the light and beat,
A great distauce below this outer coat
there is a layer of dark clouds, probably we.
tame. Again them is a great BOWL, ano then
another layer ot. tlh daiket cluuds„lik.oij , of
the same material; another great interval,
and then the solid surface et the sun. The
sun travels about a million of mites a day,
and yet, in the last, two thou:seed years it has
not traveled one-sixteenth part of the tits•
tance to thenearest-star. In fact, there is
hardly any pereeptiblo-change in its position
among the stars, one .of which—Sinus—hi
largo enough teenrake two or, three hundred
like it.— Condensed
.frour liershers Lecture.
Some wags took a drunker' fellow placed
him in a graveyard, and waited to sea the
effect., After a short time the fumes of
liquor left him, and his position being rather
-euufiued, he eat upright tail tiller looking. a•
ruuud exclaimed, 'Well, I'm the first (hut
riz! or the I'm confoundedly bela..ed.'
New York icity eontatns seventy thou-
and Jews, accurdil,g t the Bebrew
Messenger, or. more ;than one in' 'fifteen •of;
- •
'exhibit:lotion in
1470' Pitikes,'iteingasieed, 'What is the !Testi.
leiteetbat itifteth' in darkness?' re l ated;
sir t 'bed brags.'
dixt litaxicopersclealt Ft's/axial* N'aiXteiroisttoiiiri.
. The .Garden of Gethearnane.
A, traveler. in Palestine, writes as *lima,
regarding the garden of Gethsemane.: It is',
located in the valley Jehosaphat, at. the
foot of the-Mount-of - Olives; awl -is an
closure of perhaps 200, feet equare, surroun...i
ded by a high stone wall, within which ate
eight olive trees, the most aged we have seen,
said to be the identical trees under which
our Lord agonized. The old Franciscan fa
ther, who has charge of the enclosure ; cut. ,
tivates a variety of • flowers with which hul
supplies visitors. Several times we spent an
hour or two in this place of tenderest inter
est to the Christian heart. It as scarcely
possible to visit it, even with the doubt which
surrounds all the sacred localities, without
experiencing the most effecting emotions.—_
Probably beneath some of these trees, or
their predecessors, our Lord wept and pray.
ed in view of his great suffering, until in the
intensity of his agony, "His sweat was as it
were great drops of blood falling down, to
the ground " This earth sustained his pros-.
trate form and received his bloody sweat and
These aged tiees may trace - uni - .1
agonizing cry; "Father, if it be possible let
this cup pass from me," and that sublimity
of resignation, "nevertheless not my will but
thine be done " The'se very stones were
witnesses of tho inparelleled treachery of
_el_u_das,_w heti he betrayed_his—mastereven
with a kiss Surely this is holy ground, if
there be such in any land I There is much
probability the preset garden is at least a
-poetion-of-the-i d ettical - re tiring - ph - Fee
Savibor The trees-are-e-sce - ectinip,
-are-not-like ly-te-hist-ve-lived in oz — time — of -
Christ, but they may have succeeded those
that did, and it is barely possible that IheY
are the identical trees of Ills day.
G EN MCA L_SPINN ' . Treasurer- - of --
the United States is the homeliest man on
earthi-as-any-one-can-see-by-referrint,--to-his
likeness on the fitly cent pieties of' the b free
tioual currency. When I was introduced to
him at the breakfast table, he smiled--and
it broke a saucer. In the'course of his_re
marks he chanced to smile again•—and it
broke a plate. Out of sympathy for the
landlord, I stopped such miscellaneous cheer
fullness by chaugiug the sufject to funerals.
But it was another matter I wi.hed to speak
of. Now, many priople are not aware of it,
outside rtf his church, but General Spinner
is a devout and sensitively conscientious
Methodist in religion, and in polities a
radical But even the purest of us are not
sate from calumny —as I know from my own
experience. It began to be whispered a•
round that under very trying and extra
ordinary circumstances, General Spinner 'was
guilty of swearing a 'lice sometimes.-- The
church took the matter in hand as quietly ~s
.le, a d uppoio te7 l --"- - -
..rdt discreet swim (the
grieving mourner of a husband and ttirJe
gallant brothers slain in the war) to inquire
into the matter Instead ut gathering evi-:
deuce at second baud, she went to bead
qua' tots—she posted herself among a crowd
of waiting ones in the General's office. The
Old man was absorbed in business, and work.
fog away like a steam engine. File after
file of men passed before him and he shot
his ciecisions at them in sharp, curt sentences
as they moved on, Finally, a tall and hand
some man approached and handed in his
documents for examination. The General
ran his eye doWn the pages, and a thunder
cloud settled portentuously upon his countrn
ance. Ile threw down the papers, and sVik
in.. his fist fiercely in the man's face,
said :
`You come to me with this. You, you
sneaking hound of a deserter. You bring a
paper here, signed by the President of the
United States setting forth that when you
deserted from then regular army of the United
States, to go and fight four Seats against
your country, there were lour months pay
cowing to you from the Government yuu so
enraged, and ordering me to pay those ar
scarages ! I'd see you and - the - 1 resident a
hundred million miles in the hottest hole in
hell brat';'
A SERMON TO A PREACUER.—Nover
shall I forget the remark of a learned legal
Irivod, who was at one-time somewhat skep
tical in his views. Said he to me, •Did
believe as you do, that the masses - of our
race are perishing in sin, I child not rest.
I would fly to tell Ahem of salvation. I
would labor day and oigl.r. I would speak
with all energy and pathos I could sum
won. I would warn and entreat my fellow
men to turn unto Christ, and receive salva
tion at his hands. I am astonished at the
manner in which the majority of you tuba
inters tell your message. %. by don't you
act as if you believed your own. words.
You have not the earnestness in preaching
the lawyers have iu pleadivg: If we were
as tame us you are, we would not carry a
single suit-'
A decade of years Las passed away sibee
the remark was made 1 bless God it was
addressed to 211 C. I t put a fire in my bones
which I hope will turn as long as 1 live.
God preached a stirring sermon to me that
day by tho mouth of that infidel lattylr.—
Rev. P. Striker of New przinsicitle.
MODESTY.—Tbere was once to be a meet
ing of the flowers, and rho. judge was to a
ward prtio to the , no, prouounced the
most healthful. , Who shall have the prize ?
said the rose, stalking forth in al, the can
eciewiness of beatify. 'Who shall lidce the
prize l' said .the . ,were, advattoitig, each
with conscious pride, and ca:h imagining it
it would be .herself. I will take s peep at
those, beauties; thought - the violet. nut pre
ezzeing to attend the Meetings will sec theut
as they pass. .43ut as the raised Ler lowly
bead to peep out of her hidiugplade.
_she
was-observed by the ju - dge who immediately
pronounced her the west beautiful I):eawe
tbe ufest.woJest, • •
The Borrowed Tool.
, .A. boy borrowed_a-tool from a neighbor,
'promising to, return it at night . Before
away evening ho Was sent on ati errand, and
aid net leach tome until late ;Aug,- era_ ilia_
started he told that his brothers should
see the tool returned. After-he bad- ootue
back and gone up to bed, he inquired, any
found that it had not been carried to the
owner. Be was much distressed to think
that his promise should dot have been ful
filled, but was finally persuaded to_ go to
sleep, so that he might riso early and carry
the borrowed article home. By daylight be
was up; but nowhere was it to be found ;
After a long and fruitless settich for it, he
sot off.for his neighbor's workshop in great
distress, to acknowledge his fault. But how
great was his surprise to find it on the door
step I At length it appeared, from the prints
of . little bare feet in the mud, the lad had got
up in his sleep nod carried the tool home,
and then gone to bed again, waking quite an,
conscious of:what had occurred. 01 course,
a boy thus prompt in his sleep was Fon_ JO_
When awe e e lived respeoled7iion the
confidence of his neighbors, and was placed
in ninny offices of trust and responsibility.
This boy took the hest course to succeed in
life, though perhaps be did not know it.—
whatever we have to do, we should do it
with-our-migh o-it-promptly; — .Espe -
Malty should we be anxious to keep our prom
ises, strictly and faithfully. If we are care
less in discharging these and similar duties,
• a-stall-suffer for it.
,
From a work recently published in Bog
land, the annexed extract on the buoyancy
of the waters and the appearance of the
Dead Bea is taken :
in breadth not—exceeding ten
miles, the Dead Sea seats boundless to the
_eye_wheu looking from north to south, suit
the murmur 'of the waves as they break
on .the fluff-strown•-shoretogether-with the
lines - ut driftwood and fiagweuts of bitumen
on the beech, give to its waters a resctublatkee
to the ocean. , Curious to experience the
sensation of swimming iu such a sea, I put
to test the various accounts of the extreme
buoyancy felt iu'it, and quickly convinced
that there was du exaggeration ta what I had
frealdf I found ifie water almost tepid, and
so strong that the chief difficulty was to keep
sufficiently. submerged, the feet starting up
at every vigorous stroke. When floating
ball the body rose above the surface, and
with a pillow, one might have slept upon the
water. Alter a time the wangeuess of the
lemitalion in some meariure'disappeared, and
in approaching the shire I carelessly dropped
my feet to walk out, when lo 1 as if a bladder
had been attached to each heel, they flow u
' . gg F'
__ggle to recover myself sent
my hind down; the bitter and - briny stuff
from - which 1 hitherto guarded my head,
-nww milled luta my mouth, eyes, eats and
nose, for one terrible moment the only doubt
1 had was whether I was to be drowned or
poisoned. Cowing to the surface, however,
1 swam to land, waking no further attempt
to stand on dead water, which, lam inclined
to believe, is almost iiwpossfolo.
Extract of Gen John 'A. Logata's speech
on the impeachment:
"But, sir, though gentlemen talk about
rebellion, there will be noon. The peopled
this country are not. going ,to got up a...rebell
ion on Andrew Johnson's account. If they
ever do get up ono on account - 1)f shy an a
will be suwebody who stands higher ban
Andrew Johnson. 1 venture the assert on,
that if we do our duty.in this Cuogress, ana
stand by the law, in one week afte Mr.
Johnson is burled from the seat of ower,
the loyal people in the land will 1 Ve new
strength, new energy, new vigor. Da their
hearts wil' swell up with joy an gratitude
to God that there has been found backbone
enough in this Congress to-do tight and stand-
hy the law. They Rillrejoice that a man
will succeed to the Presidential chair who
will sea that the laws of the rand arc notob- -
structed, that the work of reconstruction
pet! on. Whenever you convict a. criminal
justly no wan sheds a tear io his behalf on
account of the execution of the law, but their
sorrows arc that the law, has been violated.'
A CApurat. BIT AT A. J.—There' have
been hard things said of Andrew Johnson,
but the' hardest is ono which is published in
a late number of the London ,Spectator.—,
itis related that the oew Ecglish A.tobastia•
dor, Mr. Thornton, before his departure for
the United States, having praised Mr. John
anti's 'firmness tea Yankee, who evidently
did not see it, lowered his tone. and , said,
eI I, at any rate, you must admit that. he
is a completely SECS-31ADE nun ; •to which
this Yankee replied with great. solemnity, 't
bopo so,.indeed, for it would relieve the Al
mighty of an awful responsibility.*
A certain colored deacon, on occasion of
missionary collections, was wont to shut his
eyes and sing; 4 1?Irabroad, thou Almighty
Gospel,' with such earnestness and unotiou
that he would quite forget to see thevlAip
as it came around. 'O - , yes,' said the..phl7s
- 'but
.you must give something to
wake it fly.'
SARCASTIC.. BUT SUGQESTIVE.-A. Quaker
gculleinan, rid,ing•in a partiago with a lash
ionable lady decked with a prolusion of i;lty'
city, heard ber complain orthe -bnir:
cmg-in her lace-boucot and shawl as, light
as cobweb, she exclaimed
What shall I , do to get warm 7'
really don't know, rePiied the - Quaker,
ustless thee should ,p,ut tin another breast
pin ."
• .
:it. pair cif street lips, a Jipsy •hnr, a '-'pres
,Fure af„lwo sieljeioe hauds, and d pine waist
ribboa wit) doaq much to tteiitike a mil' us
three fevers, the.Fhooping cough, the Lek
-4.4.a, or a due:o 2 "
T,he Wild Woman ofite.itaa.
1. 1
The Liberty (Texas) . Gazettc publishes the
following marveloiristory: _'ln_tlie_ct rand:
Cane neighborhood, in this 'county, 8 short
time age r algent l etnan In the' depthe. of 4he
forest suddenly dame , tipcin a woman' testivikt
and 'almost , turfleet as ati.untamed deer. .4p,
tor a brisk chase of . some distance the gen.
tlerean on horseback overt o ok the wonderful
creature, when she baited, and he fourfci
be a niediuin Sized, Middle eged,Avelllformed
woman, with-long,iark hair, and•clear
eves: She was iu a state of nudity have a ,
girdle of gray' moss,about her loins. Iler
body and limbs wore covered With a beauti
ful coat of Kr shunt filur inehed long. She
was much (righted and seemed• unable 'to
talk, but must have comprehended signs,
as in ,reply to motions of the . gentleman
_by
which he•sought, to induce her to accompany
him out of the Wend she constantly peinted
to her own'blest
I - finally, the gentleman endeavorb4, .to
compel aver to go the way he desired, by get
tlng her,and_hy_chreateri'n& r• • . •
with hie gun, and she becoping enraged
seized . a club, and turned upon him with the
fury of a deinoti,- and it Wei only by the
speed imparted . to hiSsreed by a liberal use
of the spurs that he kept out , of her way.
After driving off her pursuer, she resumed
tWdifiell — oo — slii - had so o'onstantly pbinted;
and was soon . out of sight. The gentleman
followed, and after going some distance, came
upon her home. Three trees standing near
otirerFin=a=trim - ctgultir — froinTivith — the spaces
between them walled up with brush and
$
secure from the rude blasts of winter, and
comparatively recure froth The pitiless rain.
Tito only stores that were discovered were
a few nuts and some four or five bipthels of
scot no Very stories—of—this—Wild—wo
man have beep rife in the upper part of the
country for sometime, but she was believed
to be a myth by all except those who claimed
to have had 7 glimpses of_lier—N,o.w, however,
her existanee, description, and the vicinity
at least of her whereabouts, are established
beyond controversy. Her early capture may
be regarded as within the range of probabili
ty, as concentrated efforts - are wade—to—t-bat
end.
.I . II , I%.7NDEHSTOOD THE TEXT:--A worthy
deacon hired.a journeyman .farmer
_from a,
•neighboring town for the summer, and in-,
ducod him—although be was unseen toed
to church-goiug , --to accompany the family to
church:on the first Sabbath of his stay.
Upon their return to the deacon's house, he
•osked his hired man how he liked the preach,'
log. He replied :
.1 dcrn't like to hear any minister preach
politics.'
am very sure you
day,' said the deacun.
"I am sure that I did,' said the, man
'Mention the passages,' said tie deacOu.
will Ile said i the Republicans
scarcely are saved, where will the Democrats
appear.r
.Ah,' said the deacon, 'you inistalre'—•
These were the words, 'lf the rightcotia
scarcely are saved, how will the ungodly and
wicked appear?'.
'Oh, yet,' said the wan, 'ho [night have
used those words, but I know deuced well
what he meant.'
hiotc PAT GOT TO BOSTON.— Some years
ago, an Iriidunau in the-eity of Portland, Me
accosted the captain of a steatner, to inquire
the fare to Beaten, when the following col
loquy ensued:
"t3ood tnornixi', Capting. Could ye be of
titer tellin' rue what's the fare to Beshton
"Three dollars," . inswered the captain - .
"But suppose 1 wint outside "
"lo that case," said the eaptiniiiyon can
go for two dollars."
This was undoubtedly more money than
Pat bad ;Po ho.seratehed his head and kW:-
- ed perplexed for a few moments, *hob a
, bright thought seernecVto atite him
say, eapting, what would ye be afther
whin' a ituuthrcti and sixty pounds of freight
for ?"
"Seventy-five cents," replied die captain.
"Thin 3e way put me down, eapting, fur
jtstilie buy that weighs that."
he captain turned to the clerk, F. vine' ,
"nit on the height list •one ;tundra(' tiod
sixty pounds of lire Iristitnau, atlld stow Lim
in the bold." •
Who are opposed to the iropeuehtnent of
Andrew Johnson?
The whole Rebel army 'vanquished by
Graht . unc Sherman; alt the - eyeoputhizers
with treason ill the Nfirth; ttil the ceetntes
al the theft,' ull enemies of the Nation-al
alt those who fejoiCUll ID ttlip
ut. A Dralthw .Lieculn, all those who g,lo•
tied' iu tt e treachery ot Andrei* "Johsou,
uli the ahs - at:t•uts ot Grant, Sherman,' Sheri
dan, Slekleg, George 11 'lhotuas, and other
pa.tilutri cud every. eucuty of Ltherly iu the
Uiti
The following is said - to have been the-di•
teetiuus ou a tr.tter lett at - the Fkirt \Vague
post (Alive . ;
BoAntaster, pleobe to send him '
Deetaliaaq tJ Jet' 6LJight, •• :
1 / 1 1. Yetuit,go,Alaita hr guebty,: • . •
(41 LlJ).tidt/111. mtl lIiJV 9I pousgiy. ,
tkr gouety seat,
Ler (Mice: ou I.l:,cr.ry 4sticreet ;
,t,hurie) fuyior he ' d
dr: wan ;
(tat Tnek yutt ctu.
Eco.NONY.—TIto lather of as interesting
tawny, raiding near-I/eavtr, nut lung since
cupped the uury uewrpaper which be . had
cent alloyed lawsuit' ur tautly, solely (ar the
ground dint he eunkt not altos the esvnae.
lliin nrau-elsturs up, tuarieeu noltats trortri (LI
toU4enu 'every year.
It iiiiikes•a-groit ddiaecco whethor glaig
es .ro used unuer,ox ,tier :tic Dose.. ,
SOLO= Iseay..-'"keti4x*
tk Yankee:aod.,e Ftenehmatko!nedsa pig
iU
Coperioersh!p. When killing time moo
the , viieked fel divide tlieLeitentet___ll;
Yitticee vrtictionsiotte to divide acer that •he.
,could gat both hindquarters, and persuade 7-7
the Frenchman that the proper way to divide
*as to:ent-Wacrotis,the hack, The 'Preach-,
riian.agreed to it { on coodition that the .Yan
kee.would, turn his tack and take ehoiae . of
the pieVe after it wag elit in two. The Yin;
kee,turned hie back, and •the Fraiehmart
asked : - .
pence ypit'fintrd ? Peeeeivlcf
de Tail on him' ) 'or zd ge6ce vat min't got :no '
taih:on r
'The piece . with the tail!' sheuted. the
Yankee, instantly.
Wen, by gay you take him, and,' take is
Odqr: said. the, Frenchmen.
Upon turning around' the .Yankee found
that the Frenohman'had cut the tail and ituck
it in the pig's "mouth,
RECEIPT FOR TAFTLIRCI.—Take the root
of a nimble tongue and the'vine of a runs
' ,I ' f ale fit - teen outrecire
ambition, the Benin quantity of nonsense. 7-,
lituise them well in the mortar of ,atisappre
-hension and—mix II I
•
them-well-over-n-fire-of-wild surmises" unfit
you perceive the scam of falsehood ri•••
sing_on_the_top_;_then_strain _it_ through_a
cloth of trlisconstruttion; then put itinto a
bottle of malignity, stop it with a cork of i
ron, naci,you have the mixture in its pnrit
Dip-a,g-tass-of it once a day through a quill
of wslevoleuce. Whoever vises the above, is
prepared to speak nil „
rear — to — tru ,-- iTpersou or c
commended by
' - GdvERNOR:MEDDLESCiingi
Approved by PROF, SLANDF.R.•
reluses,_!,pays a rejected lover,
'don't give it up buf try it again.
_Because
twb, negatives wake ab affirinatiie '
tnar however,' don:t_consider—yourself-ac.
cepted when a-girl jilts you twico. I asked
one female forty times, and at last she got to
expect it every time I went, and sometimes
would hallo out '.No 1' from the top of the
stairs before 1• Ot fairl in the house. This
is uunstural, let ma here remark.'
A darkey 'bereabonts on being ousted from .
a barber's chair; in Which ho had deposited
himself with the intention• of being- shaved,
expostulated with :the barber, threatened
brat kith 140 Civil Itights - Brit,, and finally
asked, 'Don't yer cut hair in dis yer shop?'
'Yes,' repfie4 the barber, 'ire cut hriir, 'hat'
nut Wool.'
A missionary among the freedmen: in
Tennessee, alter relating to some little color ,
edbil - dren the story of Annanias and Sap•
'phira, asked: them why God does not strike
every body dead who telli a lie; when one
the least , ot them quickly hristwered, 'l3O
rause there wouldn't he atip)ody_ left,'
►tics to
A Dutchman sod' Iris wife were travelling)
they sat down by the. reed execedit!gly I'4l
tigued. The stile , sighed, 'I wish I was in
heaven !' The husband , replied; 71104 I
was at the , tavern 1"1::)h,. you old roguc,'.
says she,:you always want to ein the best
place. •
'•A - man who bad filed n petition for divorce,
was inforwed by his counsel, that his
,wile
had flied a 'MAP. petition; as lawyerbeall it.
•,A, cross petition ?' exclaimed the husband',
'that is just like her, Bhe . never did a :good
natured thing in her life."
Rabbi Joshua once met, a boy carrying
something in a covered vessel. (.3.fy boy,'
Paid the Rabbi, 'what have you' in' your , cov
cred,vessel 'lf it was, iutendcd that lon
should know,' replied the boy, 'it would not
be covered.'
Otre •thing was forgotten at the Paris Ex
position,srnd that was to have a picture ta•
ken of a,tnan too mean to take a aewspapor.
We think that one could have been furnish.
ed frotn Waynesboro'. .(1;;
A cool spee!et.en of hunaaoity,stepped .into
prioting office out West to beg a paper,
TH,esuee,' said he,•'tce like to read cewspe.
rers very ''nateli, but our t eig.hbors are. to
stinky to takoboe.' •
A wan' set big son to studyion. e' laW.: be.
eattse he said he was such a tricky tittle ras
cal, and he wanted to'hutcor his chtettilout.
1.. ..7 . d0 ;not say,''remarked 3.lrs.Browia !that
Jones is a cilia; but, 3 du say it his ram
j , iaa.l alias i viould autuy cu keep sheep.'
Whotetrio know.-15 the z p . ersoo Who was
overwhelmed with the flood of expectation
ever.recovered hiutielf , .
.
Anthony Stinrtions, n colore barber, tits
h.equeiithed Siu oob to , Princeton Celle , e
c I
. -
Nun Jersey.
eiL• ',_...,.._..._.-......_ 4 ..... -
h•lliltinmi 54s two old •maids kissing
each.other, load Atke't.wo, old flints Using to
',tr . /Its dia.'. • .
• Why - is coits..e no 'axe with a dull edge?
13etalAseicinis to be ground.
The brightest dreams awalen to the
darkest realities.
'Why is a lady's tongtio like a 1i00.p2 ,
Because there is no end to it.
Advice to old bac-hclurs who dye ther ; hais
77—'Keupjt
•
Profi tat 1.1) .
lue t —cur /Aug a pOpy.
OW vo g yitiga— Owing princor's
7
k* st.‘rio,g' ',ever
,
.
EMMI
mon 89
[trainer. e