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' . .. ..•. . . . gam:• ~ , . 333 r liTiir. 331.4mi1r. __ _. _ :,,. _, ._.. ~ _ _-. - I: _,, . ~ _ . '' ' ..tiaclope.racteess.t Farm ' • - - - .. ~....._,...,, . . . , . . . _ . VOLUME XXI. _-_ . WAINESBORW,- FRANKLIN ,COUNTL. ar t' ---•,....---- _ _ h ead ' . The-Garden of Gel . ' ---- PillnaErriler.A.l. and she drew it away, bent over her _ - • and kissed me ever eo much,.aud Uncle &k_ A. traveler. in kalaat : -- " ."' walked- - away.:; - _--•,;-:-L.":"- -, -" , ".'--"-• - - -t- ',',')-- - .regarding the pro '•-'' • - -/./)-11 - ' . •'..,-..;-* --.---- I guess he was only trying to see it it ,• ) - - • fc....,,, : j orn7,-- .44;4;7 located in the was the same. color-am his moustache,....-___ foot of. t b, - 4 .. , . -,• - •V•v• - .- ----,?..:.'" ' ',---- ' 1-.. .• ..... 4- _,.c,i c ir" - -..v.!--- , ! 1 - Oh I I r is got the prettiest mamma; her closur c. . -"- ' •• ''"i - : - ~,• , :.. - ir..- -:. - eyes Shine so bright, null . her little hands are „b. , _ . • • so soft; I declare I am proud of her. L 1 F 13; Snuffy don't live here now; Annie to . me out, and gentlemen with caps and - We are floating down the river, many buttons on their coats ask We shall soon be out tosea ; deal, ask Annie 'how old I P -- We shall soon be lost forever' ----- '---- , ,live: They are very par :- - In its wide immensity, -- -"="-:-.T- """ ' don't think it is qui t e my cap over my r , We have passed the sunny meadows tedious, Many and many a year ago; • I've h. - There the stream was small and narrow, a for But a little brook did,flow.;_, ,__ - 1 , - NOW - 0 7 e faintly catch the music . . . . - Dimly see the the sunshine glow. Far behind us are the mounts' Memory haunt.; their s• - Gloriows day-dream- Like-the_trec We have passed the sunny meadows' Many awl many a year ago; There the stream was small and narrow, But a tittle brook Nevir'.o 7 e faintly catchthe music • Dimly see the the sunshine glow. Far behind us are the mountain Memory haunt.; their summits yet ; Glorious day-dreams cluster round them, Lovingly we turn our faces To those mountains with regret, We were wrecked at many places Where the hidden rucks iibountl— Whese the current swept us swiftly With a wild and surging sound; And the d Aviv us On our doultoLul tortutics frowned Then the river, growing wider, eeper, swnter, in ns course, Bears us, like the !loath g lea llzt, Orman!, with resistless Mee ; So we scarcely note the valleys, 'Or the softly !minded hills— Cateh-the-chorus-of-the-reltin, As in melodies she thrills. )Moonlight seedy throws her lustre Mr the liver and the bay, And the thiylie.ht chases darkness, And the darkness chases day. WHERE 11 HOME. Home's net merely four square walls, Thougn with pictures Lung and gilded ; Heine is wihire asi: , ction calls, Futcd with shrines the heart has buildei Home !-go w; it -h the faithiui dove, 'neatn the heaven above us e r lere therVis iYU to hive ! lime is where there's one to love 114 - Home's not trwrely ro and mont— h needs something, to endear it ; Home is where the heart can bloom, _ Where, therc'E , Rome kind li. to cheer it NV hit is home with cone to meet, None to welcome, none to greet us? Home is St% e. t, and only sweet, -- 11 hen there's one who Lees it tne.lt'9! ~;~ - _ T- 4 THE BABY JOURNA.T 4 PY" ETHEL. LYNN. lam here. And it this is that what they call the world, I don't think much of it. It's a very fiinnelly world, and smells of paragoric awfully. It's a dreadful light world too, and makes me blink, I tell you. And I do IC' know what to do with my hands; I think . l'll dig my fists in toy eyes. No, 1. won't. I'll scrabble at the corner et my blanket and chew it up, and then I'll holler: whatever happer:s, I'll holler. And the more paragoric they give me the louder I'll yell. The old nurse puts the spoon in the corner of my mouth in a very uneasy way, and keeps tasting my milk herself all the while She spilled snuff in it last night; and when hollered, she trotted me. That comes of being a . two days old .. baby. Never mind, when I'm a man, I'll pay her , back good There's a pin sticking in me now, and if I say a•vord -- be — treit - ted orfcti, and I would rather have catnip tea. I'll tell you who I am. I found out to day. I heard folks sak‘linsh, don't wake up -Elm mcline's baby.' That's me. 'Emme• line's baby; and I suppose that pretty, white faced woman over on the pillows is Emme line. No, I was mistaken, for a chap was in here just now and wanted to see Bob's baby, and looked at nie, and said, 'I was a funny little toad, and looked just like Bob.' Ile smelt of cigars, and I'm not used to them. I wonder to who else I belong to. Yes, there's another one—that'S 'Gramma,' Em meline told me, and then she took um up and held me against her soft cheek and said, 'lt was Gratunaa's baby, so it was.' J. de clare I don't know who I do belong to, but I'll holler, and mai be I'll find out. There comes snuffy with catnip tea. Thu idea of giving babies catnip tea who are cry jug for information ! I'm going to sleep. I wonder if I don't look pretty red in the face ? I wonder why my hands won't go where I want them to. I wonder what snuf fy has in that big black bottle, and why she don't give Gramma's baby some. Here's Bob he's one of- the people I be long to you know. Ile kisses me , and scratches me with his mouth—l don't wear a moustache myself. I like. Gramma. She treats•mo like a gentleman, and parts my hair .on the side. snuffy parts it in: the I'm a year old, and I've got a name. I'm .3 . 0 and Uncle Jo gave me a silver cup .this =morning, but they won't, let me _Dave -it to 'bang op the table. Gramma would give it to me in •a minute, and - r think . 'some clay, when I catch her alone,-I'll get itlet. - Cousin Lizzie is staying here. She is a• nice girl, only she won't let me pull,,ber I think she unght—such loog, soft; ,yenoW curls. She won't let Uncle' Jo touch a m etirl Other. 'lle just lifted one up the other day WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, FRIDAY, MORNING,: APRIL 8,,18681 and ebe drew it away, bent over her head and kissed me ever eo tnueb,.and Uncle Ji walked- • - . 7: • - ) I guess he was only trying to see if it was the same color as his moustache,---__ Oh I've got the prettiest mamma; her eyes Shine so bright, aud her little hands are so soft; I declare I am proud of her. Snuffy don't live here now; Annie takes me out, and gentlemen with caps and a great many buttons on their coats ask me a great deal, ask Annie how old I am and where I live . . They are very polite to---me but - I don't think it is quite right of Annie to keep my cap over my eyes so much; it is rather tedious. I've had lots of toothache, and I've raised a few teeth ; they dont't come out as Gram. ma's do though. My pretty mamma tells me to show my toofies, and then I have to grin tor everybody. I trio Bob's anger yesterday but he didn't seem to mind it. I've got short clothes on and Cousin Liz zie is teaching me to dance. Uncle Jo helps • s en_Lam through • my__lessess• she caches me up and kisses, me and right on the same spot Isn't that queer ? Cousin Lizzie is going home soon ; I'm sorry ; so's Unkle Jo. I heard hint tell her so, and then she stooped to ne my sleeve button, and grew 'very red about it. That's 1.1,11127 too. I've got a little sister, She looks pretty well for a girl. I remember when I did Dot -leak-a ay—be t n d-to-h-er_ but she must understand at first that she =in usnri-mi-frer-e-1-d-er-bruther Cousin—Lizzie - has a new bright ring on her finger; I guess Uncle Jo gave it 'to her She don't - scold when he pulls her curls now. Oh ! ain't I glad I've g.ot a grarnrila ? for iorgets ate now sometimes, an. mamma Emmeline is so white and still Graninia isu't so taken :1 orget—not she ;an e e with that girl baby that sbe can't remember a fellow that used to be No. 1. She says wy nose is out of joint, IPA it dun't fee! broken I djn't want to be ugly, but I do bate to see the baby in my place, and I bear thew tell-Iter-tbat-she-is-tll6-dearest little dot that ever lived. They used to tell me just so, And I don't like to see my dear mamma so very still with her eyes shut IV. I knew it was a sorrowful world when I caureand-that-is - why I cried. I've tried to-day to wake dear mamma, and f cannot. She will not speak to me, or wove, or open her bright eyes. She Aloes not even turn when the baby cries. Both her little hands are lain upon her breast, and full 'of flowers. And Wusin Lizzie and Gramtna are a I in black frocks. and I've got blsek rib bons on And Bob sits by her with his head in his hands; and uncle Jo stands be sidti-fliem both, and Isys his hand on Ids shoulder, and sa3s, 'God help you, brother.' And all the while the sun is hbining in the street and the people go by as they always do. The canary iniOt know this was .no time to sing—when dear mamma will never wake again. .She held me in her arms last night and kissed mo, and said, 'Good bye, little (I% l — tell roe she has gone to heaven ; but it is uo comfort to me. I don't know witete heaven is, or, how to get there. I looked up at the stars, but 1 liked the shine of mam ma's eyes better. And I want her here.- 1 must be good to the , baby, and I mean to be; what ever happens, I . lu going to at'and by that baby. FACTS ABOUT TILE SUN.— The sun is dis tant from the earth 02,000,000 of miles, its diameter 850,000 utiles, or more than one hundred times than that a the, earth. It placed -where the earth ii, its circumference would nut only include the moon 230,000 miles from the earth, but would reach out - past - iv,-n - oarty . as far - .again.. A man stand. lug ou the sun would be crushed flat"by his own weight if he could stand the heat tong enough. The treat of the sun's surface is e qual to that which would be produced by hurtling six tuns of coal per hour on cacti square yard. It is very much greater than would he required to melt any metals known On earth, `lire wost brilliant light that eau be manufactured by circlets:B luaks like a black spot if Contrasted with the sun The outer surface of the sun is composed of scales about the shape of, •a willow lout, and perhaps 1,000 miles long. It is these that give out the light and beat, A great distauce below this outer coat there is a layer of dark clouds, probably we. tame. Again them is a great BOWL, ano then another layer ot. tlh daiket cluuds„lik.oij , of the same material; another great interval, and then the solid surface et the sun. The sun travels about a million of mites a day, and yet, in the last, two thou:seed years it has not traveled one-sixteenth part of the tits• tance to thenearest-star. In fact, there is hardly any pereeptiblo-change in its position among the stars, one .of which—Sinus—hi largo enough teenrake two or, three hundred like it.— Condensed .frour liershers Lecture. Some wags took a drunker' fellow placed him in a graveyard, and waited to sea the effect., After a short time the fumes of liquor left him, and his position being rather -euufiued, he eat upright tail tiller looking. a• ruuud exclaimed, 'Well, I'm the first (hut riz! or the I'm confoundedly bela..ed.' New York icity eontatns seventy thou- and Jews, accurdil,g t the Bebrew Messenger, or. more ;than one in' 'fifteen •of; - • 'exhibit:lotion in 1470' Pitikes,'iteingasieed, 'What is the !Testi. leiteetbat itifteth' in darkness?' re l ated; sir t 'bed brags.' dixt litaxicopersclealt Ft's/axial* N'aiXteiroisttoiiiri. . The .Garden of Gethearnane. A, traveler. in Palestine, writes as *lima, regarding the garden of Gethsemane.: It is', located in the valley Jehosaphat, at. the foot of the-Mount-of - Olives; awl -is an closure of perhaps 200, feet equare, surroun...i ded by a high stone wall, within which ate eight olive trees, the most aged we have seen, said to be the identical trees under which our Lord agonized. The old Franciscan fa ther, who has charge of the enclosure ; cut. , tivates a variety of • flowers with which hul supplies visitors. Several times we spent an hour or two in this place of tenderest inter est to the Christian heart. It as scarcely possible to visit it, even with the doubt which surrounds all the sacred localities, without experiencing the most effecting emotions.—_ Probably beneath some of these trees, or their predecessors, our Lord wept and pray. ed in view of his great suffering, until in the intensity of his agony, "His sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down, to the ground " This earth sustained his pros-. trate form and received his bloody sweat and These aged tiees may trace - uni - .1 agonizing cry; "Father, if it be possible let this cup pass from me," and that sublimity of resignation, "nevertheless not my will but thine be done " The'se very stones were witnesses of tho inparelleled treachery of _el_u_das,_w heti he betrayed_his—mastereven with a kiss Surely this is holy ground, if there be such in any land I There is much probability the preset garden is at least a -poetion-of-the-i d ettical - re tiring - ph - Fee Savibor The trees-are-e-sce - ectinip, -are-not-like ly-te-hist-ve-lived in oz — time — of - Christ, but they may have succeeded those that did, and it is barely possible that IheY are the identical trees of Ills day. G EN MCA L_SPINN ' . Treasurer- - of -- the United States is the homeliest man on earthi-as-any-one-can-see-by-referrint,--to-his likeness on the fitly cent pieties of' the b free tioual currency. When I was introduced to him at the breakfast table, he smiled--and it broke a saucer. In the'course of his_re marks he chanced to smile again•—and it broke a plate. Out of sympathy for the landlord, I stopped such miscellaneous cheer fullness by chaugiug the sufject to funerals. But it was another matter I wi.hed to speak of. Now, many priople are not aware of it, outside rtf his church, but General Spinner is a devout and sensitively conscientious Methodist in religion, and in polities a radical But even the purest of us are not sate from calumny —as I know from my own experience. It began to be whispered a• round that under very trying and extra ordinary circumstances, General Spinner 'was guilty of swearing a 'lice sometimes.-- The church took the matter in hand as quietly ~s .le, a d uppoio te7 l --"- - - ..rdt discreet swim (the grieving mourner of a husband and ttirJe gallant brothers slain in the war) to inquire into the matter Instead ut gathering evi-: deuce at second baud, she went to bead qua' tots—she posted herself among a crowd of waiting ones in the General's office. The Old man was absorbed in business, and work. fog away like a steam engine. File after file of men passed before him and he shot his ciecisions at them in sharp, curt sentences as they moved on, Finally, a tall and hand some man approached and handed in his documents for examination. The General ran his eye doWn the pages, and a thunder cloud settled portentuously upon his countrn ance. Ile threw down the papers, and sVik in.. his fist fiercely in the man's face, said : `You come to me with this. You, you sneaking hound of a deserter. You bring a paper here, signed by the President of the United States setting forth that when you deserted from then regular army of the United States, to go and fight four Seats against your country, there were lour months pay cowing to you from the Government yuu so enraged, and ordering me to pay those ar scarages ! I'd see you and - the - 1 resident a hundred million miles in the hottest hole in hell brat';' A SERMON TO A PREACUER.—Nover shall I forget the remark of a learned legal Irivod, who was at one-time somewhat skep tical in his views. Said he to me, •Did believe as you do, that the masses - of our race are perishing in sin, I child not rest. I would fly to tell Ahem of salvation. I would labor day and oigl.r. I would speak with all energy and pathos I could sum won. I would warn and entreat my fellow men to turn unto Christ, and receive salva tion at his hands. I am astonished at the manner in which the majority of you tuba inters tell your message. %. by don't you act as if you believed your own. words. You have not the earnestness in preaching the lawyers have iu pleadivg: If we were as tame us you are, we would not carry a single suit-' A decade of years Las passed away sibee the remark was made 1 bless God it was addressed to 211 C. I t put a fire in my bones which I hope will turn as long as 1 live. God preached a stirring sermon to me that day by tho mouth of that infidel lattylr.— Rev. P. Striker of New przinsicitle. MODESTY.—Tbere was once to be a meet ing of the flowers, and rho. judge was to a ward prtio to the , no, prouounced the most healthful. , Who shall have the prize ? said the rose, stalking forth in al, the can eciewiness of beatify. 'Who shall lidce the prize l' said .the . ,were, advattoitig, each with conscious pride, and ca:h imagining it it would be .herself. I will take s peep at those, beauties; thought - the violet. nut pre ezzeing to attend the Meetings will sec theut as they pass. .43ut as the raised Ler lowly bead to peep out of her hidiugplade. _she was-observed by the ju - dge who immediately pronounced her the west beautiful I):eawe tbe ufest.woJest, • • The Borrowed Tool. , .A. boy borrowed_a-tool from a neighbor, 'promising to, return it at night . Before away evening ho Was sent on ati errand, and aid net leach tome until late ;Aug,- era_ ilia_ started he told that his brothers should see the tool returned. After-he bad- ootue back and gone up to bed, he inquired, any found that it had not been carried to the owner. Be was much distressed to think that his promise should dot have been ful filled, but was finally persuaded to_ go to sleep, so that he might riso early and carry the borrowed article home. By daylight be was up; but nowhere was it to be found ; After a long and fruitless settich for it, he sot off.for his neighbor's workshop in great distress, to acknowledge his fault. But how great was his surprise to find it on the door step I At length it appeared, from the prints of . little bare feet in the mud, the lad had got up in his sleep nod carried the tool home, and then gone to bed again, waking quite an, conscious of:what had occurred. 01 course, a boy thus prompt in his sleep was Fon_ JO_ When awe e e lived respeoled7iion the confidence of his neighbors, and was placed in ninny offices of trust and responsibility. This boy took the hest course to succeed in life, though perhaps be did not know it.— whatever we have to do, we should do it with-our-migh o-it-promptly; — .Espe - Malty should we be anxious to keep our prom ises, strictly and faithfully. If we are care less in discharging these and similar duties, • a-stall-suffer for it. , From a work recently published in Bog land, the annexed extract on the buoyancy of the waters and the appearance of the Dead Bea is taken : in breadth not—exceeding ten miles, the Dead Sea seats boundless to the _eye_wheu looking from north to south, suit the murmur 'of the waves as they break on .the fluff-strown•-shoretogether-with the lines - ut driftwood and fiagweuts of bitumen on the beech, give to its waters a resctublatkee to the ocean. , Curious to experience the sensation of swimming iu such a sea, I put to test the various accounts of the extreme buoyancy felt iu'it, and quickly convinced that there was du exaggeration ta what I had frealdf I found ifie water almost tepid, and so strong that the chief difficulty was to keep sufficiently. submerged, the feet starting up at every vigorous stroke. When floating ball the body rose above the surface, and with a pillow, one might have slept upon the water. Alter a time the wangeuess of the lemitalion in some meariure'disappeared, and in approaching the shire I carelessly dropped my feet to walk out, when lo 1 as if a bladder had been attached to each heel, they flow u ' . gg F' __ggle to recover myself sent my hind down; the bitter and - briny stuff from - which 1 hitherto guarded my head, -nww milled luta my mouth, eyes, eats and nose, for one terrible moment the only doubt 1 had was whether I was to be drowned or poisoned. Cowing to the surface, however, 1 swam to land, waking no further attempt to stand on dead water, which, lam inclined to believe, is almost iiwpossfolo. Extract of Gen John 'A. Logata's speech on the impeachment: "But, sir, though gentlemen talk about rebellion, there will be noon. The peopled this country are not. going ,to got up a...rebell ion on Andrew Johnson's account. If they ever do get up ono on account - 1)f shy an a will be suwebody who stands higher ban Andrew Johnson. 1 venture the assert on, that if we do our duty.in this Cuogress, ana stand by the law, in one week afte Mr. Johnson is burled from the seat of ower, the loyal people in the land will 1 Ve new strength, new energy, new vigor. Da their hearts wil' swell up with joy an gratitude to God that there has been found backbone enough in this Congress to-do tight and stand- hy the law. They Rillrejoice that a man will succeed to the Presidential chair who will sea that the laws of the rand arc notob- - structed, that the work of reconstruction pet! on. Whenever you convict a. criminal justly no wan sheds a tear io his behalf on account of the execution of the law, but their sorrows arc that the law, has been violated.' A CApurat. BIT AT A. J.—There' have been hard things said of Andrew Johnson, but the' hardest is ono which is published in a late number of the London ,Spectator.—, itis related that the oew Ecglish A.tobastia• dor, Mr. Thornton, before his departure for the United States, having praised Mr. John anti's 'firmness tea Yankee, who evidently did not see it, lowered his tone. and , said, eI I, at any rate, you must admit that. he is a completely SECS-31ADE nun ; •to which this Yankee replied with great. solemnity, 't bopo so,.indeed, for it would relieve the Al mighty of an awful responsibility.* A certain colored deacon, on occasion of missionary collections, was wont to shut his eyes and sing; 4 1?Irabroad, thou Almighty Gospel,' with such earnestness and unotiou that he would quite forget to see thevlAip as it came around. 'O - , yes,' said the..phl7s - 'but .you must give something to wake it fly.' SARCASTIC.. BUT SUGQESTIVE.-A. Quaker gculleinan, rid,ing•in a partiago with a lash ionable lady decked with a prolusion of i;lty' city, heard ber complain orthe -bnir: cmg-in her lace-boucot and shawl as, light as cobweb, she exclaimed What shall I , do to get warm 7' really don't know, rePiied the - Quaker, ustless thee should ,p,ut tin another breast pin ." • . :it. pair cif street lips, a Jipsy •hnr, a '-'pres ,Fure af„lwo sieljeioe hauds, and d pine waist ribboa wit) doaq much to tteiitike a mil' us three fevers, the.Fhooping cough, the Lek -4.4.a, or a due:o 2 " T,he Wild Woman ofite.itaa. 1. 1 The Liberty (Texas) . Gazettc publishes the following marveloiristory: _'ln_tlie_ct rand: Cane neighborhood, in this 'county, 8 short time age r algent l etnan In the' depthe. of 4he forest suddenly dame , tipcin a woman' testivikt and 'almost , turfleet as ati.untamed deer. .4p, tor a brisk chase of . some distance the gen. tlerean on horseback overt o ok the wonderful creature, when she baited, and he fourfci be a niediuin Sized, Middle eged,Avelllformed woman, with-long,iark hair, and•clear eves: She was iu a state of nudity have a , girdle of gray' moss,about her loins. Iler body and limbs wore covered With a beauti ful coat of Kr shunt filur inehed long. She was much (righted and seemed• unable 'to talk, but must have comprehended signs, as in ,reply to motions of the . gentleman _by which he•sought, to induce her to accompany him out of the Wend she constantly peinted to her own'blest I - finally, the gentleman endeavorb4, .to compel aver to go the way he desired, by get tlng her,and_hy_chreateri'n& r• • . • with hie gun, and she becoping enraged seized . a club, and turned upon him with the fury of a deinoti,- and it Wei only by the speed imparted . to hiSsreed by a liberal use of the spurs that he kept out , of her way. After driving off her pursuer, she resumed tWdifiell — oo — slii - had so o'onstantly pbinted; and was soon . out of sight. The gentleman followed, and after going some distance, came upon her home. Three trees standing near otirerFin=a=trim - ctgultir — froinTivith — the spaces between them walled up with brush and $ secure from the rude blasts of winter, and comparatively recure froth The pitiless rain. Tito only stores that were discovered were a few nuts and some four or five bipthels of scot no Very stories—of—this—Wild—wo man have beep rife in the upper part of the country for sometime, but she was believed to be a myth by all except those who claimed to have had 7 glimpses of_lier—N,o.w, however, her existanee, description, and the vicinity at least of her whereabouts, are established beyond controversy. Her early capture may be regarded as within the range of probabili ty, as concentrated efforts - are wade—to—t-bat end. .I . II , I%.7NDEHSTOOD THE TEXT:--A worthy deacon hired.a journeyman .farmer _from a, •neighboring town for the summer, and in-, ducod him—although be was unseen toed to church-goiug , --to accompany the family to church:on the first Sabbath of his stay. Upon their return to the deacon's house, he •osked his hired man how he liked the preach,' log. He replied : .1 dcrn't like to hear any minister preach politics.' am very sure you day,' said the deacun. "I am sure that I did,' said the, man 'Mention the passages,' said tie deacOu. will Ile said i the Republicans scarcely are saved, where will the Democrats appear.r .Ah,' said the deacon, 'you inistalre'—• These were the words, 'lf the rightcotia scarcely are saved, how will the ungodly and wicked appear?'. 'Oh, yet,' said the wan, 'ho [night have used those words, but I know deuced well what he meant.' hiotc PAT GOT TO BOSTON.— Some years ago, an Iriidunau in the-eity of Portland, Me accosted the captain of a steatner, to inquire the fare to Beaten, when the following col loquy ensued: "t3ood tnornixi', Capting. Could ye be of titer tellin' rue what's the fare to Beshton "Three dollars," . inswered the captain - . "But suppose 1 wint outside " "lo that case," said the eaptiniiiyon can go for two dollars." This was undoubtedly more money than Pat bad ;Po ho.seratehed his head and kW:- - ed perplexed for a few moments, *hob a , bright thought seernecVto atite him say, eapting, what would ye be afther whin' a ituuthrcti and sixty pounds of freight for ?" "Seventy-five cents," replied die captain. "Thin 3e way put me down, eapting, fur jtstilie buy that weighs that." he captain turned to the clerk, F. vine' , "nit on the height list •one ;tundra(' tiod sixty pounds of lire Iristitnau, atlld stow Lim in the bold." • Who are opposed to the iropeuehtnent of Andrew Johnson? The whole Rebel army 'vanquished by Graht . unc Sherman; alt the - eyeoputhizers with treason ill the Nfirth; ttil the ceetntes al the theft,' ull enemies of the Nation-al alt those who fejoiCUll ID ttlip ut. A Dralthw .Lieculn, all those who g,lo• tied' iu tt e treachery ot Andrei* "Johsou, uli the ahs - at:t•uts ot Grant, Sherman,' Sheri dan, Slekleg, George 11 'lhotuas, and other pa.tilutri cud every. eucuty of Ltherly iu the Uiti The following is said - to have been the-di• teetiuus ou a tr.tter lett at - the Fkirt \Vague post (Alive . ; BoAntaster, pleobe to send him ' Deetaliaaq tJ Jet' 6LJight, •• : 1 / 1 1. Yetuit,go,Alaita hr guebty,: • . • (41 LlJ).tidt/111. mtl lIiJV 9I pousgiy. , tkr gouety seat, Ler (Mice: ou I.l:,cr.ry 4sticreet ; ,t,hurie) fuyior he ' d dr: wan ; (tat Tnek yutt ctu. Eco.NONY.—TIto lather of as interesting tawny, raiding near-I/eavtr, nut lung since cupped the uury uewrpaper which be . had cent alloyed lawsuit' ur tautly, solely (ar the ground dint he eunkt not altos the esvnae. lliin nrau-elsturs up, tuarieeu noltats trortri (LI toU4enu 'every year. It iiiiikes•a-groit ddiaecco whethor glaig es .ro used unuer,ox ,tier :tic Dose.. , SOLO= Iseay..-'"keti4x* tk Yankee:aod.,e Ftenehmatko!nedsa pig iU Coperioersh!p. When killing time moo the , viieked fel divide tlieLeitentet___ll; Yitticee vrtictionsiotte to divide acer that •he. ,could gat both hindquarters, and persuade 7-7 the Frenchman that the proper way to divide *as to:ent-Wacrotis,the hack, The 'Preach-, riian.agreed to it { on coodition that the .Yan kee.would, turn his tack and take ehoiae . of the pieVe after it wag elit in two. The Yin; kee,turned hie back, and •the Fraiehmart asked : - . pence ypit'fintrd ? Peeeeivlcf de Tail on him' ) 'or zd ge6ce vat min't got :no ' taih:on r 'The piece . with the tail!' sheuted. the Yankee, instantly. Wen, by gay you take him, and,' take is Odqr: said. the, Frenchmen. Upon turning around' the .Yankee found that the Frenohman'had cut the tail and ituck it in the pig's "mouth, RECEIPT FOR TAFTLIRCI.—Take the root of a nimble tongue and the'vine of a runs ' ,I ' f ale fit - teen outrecire ambition, the Benin quantity of nonsense. 7-, lituise them well in the mortar of ,atisappre -hension and—mix II I • them-well-over-n-fire-of-wild surmises" unfit you perceive the scam of falsehood ri••• sing_on_the_top_;_then_strain _it_ through_a cloth of trlisconstruttion; then put itinto a bottle of malignity, stop it with a cork of i ron, naci,you have the mixture in its pnrit Dip-a,g-tass-of it once a day through a quill of wslevoleuce. Whoever vises the above, is prepared to speak nil „ rear — to — tru ,-- iTpersou or c commended by ' - GdvERNOR:MEDDLESCiingi Approved by PROF, SLANDF.R.• reluses,_!,pays a rejected lover, 'don't give it up buf try it again. _Because twb, negatives wake ab affirinatiie ' tnar however,' don:t_consider—yourself-ac. cepted when a-girl jilts you twico. I asked one female forty times, and at last she got to expect it every time I went, and sometimes would hallo out '.No 1' from the top of the stairs before 1• Ot fairl in the house. This is uunstural, let ma here remark.' A darkey 'bereabonts on being ousted from . a barber's chair; in Which ho had deposited himself with the intention• of being- shaved, expostulated with :the barber, threatened brat kith 140 Civil Itights - Brit,, and finally asked, 'Don't yer cut hair in dis yer shop?' 'Yes,' repfie4 the barber, 'ire cut hriir, 'hat' nut Wool.' A missionary among the freedmen: in Tennessee, alter relating to some little color , edbil - dren the story of Annanias and Sap• 'phira, asked: them why God does not strike every body dead who telli a lie; when one the least , ot them quickly hristwered, 'l3O rause there wouldn't he atip)ody_ left,' ►tics to A Dutchman sod' Iris wife were travelling) they sat down by the. reed execedit!gly I'4l tigued. The stile , sighed, 'I wish I was in heaven !' The husband , replied; 71104 I was at the , tavern 1"1::)h,. you old roguc,'. says she,:you always want to ein the best place. • '•A - man who bad filed n petition for divorce, was inforwed by his counsel, that his ,wile had flied a 'MAP. petition; as lawyerbeall it. •,A, cross petition ?' exclaimed the husband', 'that is just like her, Bhe . never did a :good natured thing in her life." Rabbi Joshua once met, a boy carrying something in a covered vessel. (.3.fy boy,' Paid the Rabbi, 'what have you' in' your , cov cred,vessel 'lf it was, iutendcd that lon should know,' replied the boy, 'it would not be covered.' Otre •thing was forgotten at the Paris Ex position,srnd that was to have a picture ta• ken of a,tnan too mean to take a aewspapor. We think that one could have been furnish. ed frotn Waynesboro'. .(1;; A cool spee!et.en of hunaaoity,stepped .into prioting office out West to beg a paper, TH,esuee,' said he,•'tce like to read cewspe. rers very ''nateli, but our t eig.hbors are. to stinky to takoboe.' • A wan' set big son to studyion. e' laW.: be. eattse he said he was such a tricky tittle ras cal, and he wanted to'hutcor his chtettilout. 1.. ..7 . d0 ;not say,''remarked 3.lrs.Browia !that Jones is a cilia; but, 3 du say it his ram j , iaa.l alias i viould autuy cu keep sheep.' Whotetrio know.-15 the z p . ersoo Who was overwhelmed with the flood of expectation ever.recovered hiutielf , . . Anthony Stinrtions, n colore barber, tits h.equeiithed Siu oob to , Princeton Celle , e c I . - Nun Jersey. eiL• ',_...,.._..._.-......_ 4 ..... - h•lliltinmi 54s two old •maids kissing each.other, load Atke't.wo, old flints Using to ',tr . /Its dia.'. • . • Why - is coits..e no 'axe with a dull edge? 13etalAseicinis to be ground. The brightest dreams awalen to the darkest realities. 'Why is a lady's tongtio like a 1i00.p2 , Because there is no end to it. Advice to old bac-hclurs who dye ther ; hais 77—'Keupjt • Profi tat 1.1) . lue t —cur /Aug a pOpy. OW vo g yitiga— Owing princor's 7 k* st.‘rio,g' ',ever , . EMMI mon 89 [trainer. e