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VOLUME XXI.
, 71 1
y.„ ,y,
41.
MEANICIIVIEIL IEmiTIKTIIEM3IO
R u -G's
MEDICINES,
tIiED 311_
PLANTS,
ire. dice.,
Go to Fourt
::X3L:Q.UTM. EMRIZ,ZYa.:3.:,
Waynesboro', May 24, 1867
BEAVER,
DEALER IN
Ladies, Misses, Cidldren, Mae (nut. Bop
BOOTSA e7:110E-3 5 ,
Hats, Caps, Trunks, etc.
Scgars, Tobacco, the very sn-la old kind of rap
pee bnufi, Candies, 1`: to.s, Cloves. Cinnamon, Pip
per. Baking Soda, Glazer, Baking Mollas4es, shoe
and ktiove Blacking, Esnence of CoffrA, P.per Col
lars a nd Cuffs, ;lavenders, Bose, Paper, Ink and
ISteel pens. ,
TH Tfi ,NETALT. SET OE SOLE.
Soaps, Tally White, Hair Oil, Perfamer ies , Matches,
Kerosene, &c. Etc. Goveram‘mt Blankets. Also
Gum Blankets. , Many more articles needed and
lased by everybody.
Room on the north•eaet Corner in the Diamond,
WAYD:IISBCRO'.
Citizens and perzunq living. in the Country will
find a large and well celected mock of first eines
goons at as low fizures as can be sold in the noun-
r .
. Sept. 20 1867
pA INTS for FARMERS an'l others.—The Graf
ton Mineral Paint Co., are now manufacturing
the Best, Cheapest. and most Durable Paint in use:
two coats well put a-', mixed with pure Linseed
Oil, will last l 0 or 15 years• it is et a light brown or
beautiful chocolate color, and crn be changed tc
green, lead, stone, drab, olive or cream, to suit the
consumer. It is valuable, fur Enuse ; Barns, Fen
ces, Carriage and Car makers, Pails, and Woorkis
-ware, Agricultural Ireplementrt. Canal Boats, Ves
sels, and -Ships' Bottoms, Ga nves,- Metal , and :?liin
gle Roofs, (it being "Ire and Ws tcr proof), Floor
Oil Uloths, (one Manufricturer hiving used 5090
bbls. the past vear,) and as a paint for any purpose
is unsurpassed for body, durability, elasticity, and
adhesiveness. Warrented in all cases a above.
bend for a circular 'which gives full particulars.
None genuine -9 leza branded in a trade mark Graf
ton Mineral Paint Adress
DANIEL EIDN7 FAA.. 2E4 Pearl St. N. Y.
For sale at the Hardv.-are store of GEISER &
RHIN EH ART, who are also agents for Bidwell's
Carriage Grease.
Oct.4-6m.
u B N . , - 77 Azy 1 - 71
THE subscribers will pay the highest cash pr ice
for Lumber, to be delivered this seacon,, and
will,also want a lar,p lot for next season.
. Sept. 6—tf, GEISER, PRICE & CO.
LATOl:lNGE;:ztracts—TanDla, Lemon and
roOmn g e Concentrated, ..erfect in purity and
delicacy of llavor, REM'S.
0 BAL. S Semites fra:a Bow to st ore awl
1
for isle chea p by ii
naionseowa. w , cum NILL it Co
si
"bid RUT HAT, Hi 1,1 Street, .Chagtbers )arg
jllolPaOs a sure sign t•, s: yis are bear be Cheep
and Faehtonable Hat EnepoOnm of 1
OnCHERT,
$llll. trgifi ~
MEttab==
11111111 S
WAYNISBORO', TRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, FRIDAY HORNING, FEBRUARY i 4 ,-1808.
PCIOEITIC).A.X.a.
REMEMBER PRE POOR.
emember thepoor,for bleak winds are blowing,
And brightly the frost-pearls are glistning around;
The E tream lets have ceased all their musical flow-
And snow drifts lie scattered all over the ground.
Remember the poor in their comfortless dwellings,
111-clad and ill-fed, o'er-burdened with care,
Oh, turn not away with a look so repelling,
Thy kindness may save them, perhaps, ,from de-
Remember the poor when the hearth-stone is cheer
ful,
And happy hearts gather around its blaze;
There are hearts that are sad and eyes that are
tearful,
As bright ite thine own in Choir sunnier d eye
tirtfoTtune may scatter t I present possessions,
And plenty to poverty leave thee a prey;
How bitterly then wilt thou think of the blessings
That charity asks from thy riches to-day.
Remember the poor as ye thankfully gather
Each round his rich table with luxury spread; -
Thou, too, ait a pensioner on a rich Father,
Fur health and for friendship, for raiment and
bread-;
If He hath been bountiful, with a like spirit,
Dhpense of that bounty what Charity claims;
Far greater the treasure thy soul shall inherit
When thy bread on the waters returaeth again
Remember the poor—this thou art commanded—
Thy Saviour thus kindly remembered the poor,
The:destiiute Thou.sha lt-not send _cm pty-handed,---
Unclad and unwermed and unfed from thy door.'
Thy peace in this life shall be like the deep river,
And dying, thy welcome to heaven shall be—
Ye faithful and blessed of my Father—come hitt*
Ye did it to others—yo did it to me.'
TO INA,
litY 8. T. V.
I babe loved thee truly, dearest, •
E'cn to my heart tlt-u e'er west nearest
VinoA-Ilave-learnedsthy=worth,
With noblrost virtues thou art graced,
Which ne'er in life can be etracest,
So constant in thy birth.
I do fondly love thee, dearest,
And thou to my true heart art nearest;
So loved, all else above;
Thou art so gentle, true and kind;
In thee all beauties center find
And crown thee queen of love.
I will ever love thee, dearest,
And to my heartlthoolt e'er be nearest,
For thou art sweetly true;
A beauttous flower among the sweets,
Thy fragrance gladdens all it meets,
And teaches thou art true.
"Mc Z X.a lizrja - .
Boundlessness of Creation.
About the time - of the invention u' the tel
mops, another instrument was formed,
which laid open a sacra no less wonderful,
and rewarded the exquisite irit of man.--
This was the usicrosetti,e. l'he one led me
to see a system in every star the other leads
me to see a rorld in eveiy atom. TII3 one
taught me that this mighty globe, with
,the
whole but den of its people and its countries,
is but a grain of sand on the high field of
immensity; the other teaches me that every
gram of stud play harbor within it the tribes_
and fatuities of a busy I °putative. The one
-told me that in the leaves of every forest,
and in the flowers of every gar den, and in
the waters et every rivulet, there are worlds
teeming with life; and numbefloss 2 , 3 are the
glories of the firtuenent. The otie has sug
gested to inc, that beyond and above all that
is visible to mat,there re'ay be fields of creation
which sweep immeasurably along and carry
the impress of the Almighty's hand l to the
remotest Beeline of the universe; the other
suggests to me, that within and beneath all
that miouteeess which the aided eye of Wan
has been able to explore, there may be a re•
gion of ievisibles; and that, could we draw
aside the mysterious curtain which shrouds
it from out senses, we might see a theatre
of as many wonders as astronomy has wit&
dad, a universe within the complies ore point
on small as to elude till the powers of the mi
croscope, but _where the wonder working
God finds room for the exercise of all bin at
tributes, where he can raise another mechan
iam of worlds, red fill and orrianite them fall
with the evidence of his glory —Chulmera.
GOLD DUST.—In the United &Mee Mint
at Pbtledelphiu, when the visitor reaches the
gold workint,•-room, the guide tells him that
the singulsr floor is a network cf wooden
bars to catch all the Ening particles of the
precious metzl W hen the day's labour is
done, the floor, which in in sections or parts,
is removed, and the golden dust in swept up,
to be melted and coined. About 080,000 an
nually are in this way saved.
- . Life's highest improvements and success
in this respect, like the sweeping of the gold
room, depend on the 'spare moments'--the
careful use of the fragments. No worker for
time and eternity ever reached high success
without this wise economy, in which Christ
gave no. by precept and example, the peifect
illustration.
A work of art— A widow trying to got a
but+band.
.312. il3.C.l.OrteXlclorLt Family N'evv►,svta;p®x'.
A SHORT PATENT SERMON.
By request I will preach upon this occa•
sion from the following text:
'Beauty is a bl issorn that soon fadeth away.
But virtue, once gotten, will never decay;
If beauty and virtue in woman be,
If she's - unmarried . pray send her to me'
MY HEARERS.—There is quite a differ
ence between beauty and virtue, in regard
to their real worth. The one is short-lived
and fleeting, and the other is enduring and •
lasting. Beauty is but an ephemeral; and
alluring blaze, that attracts the foolish in
sects of pride and fashion, often-times in a
single day, to inevitable destruction, and then
is extinguished forever; but virtue is a bril•
liant spark, that continues to glow, even in
the embers of declining age, and is destined
to shine like a cat's eye in a dark garret,
through the Countless'. ages of eternity:—
Beauty is - but a Mos - set - 1i thut unfolds its
charms while its petals are wet with the
morning dews of youth. It soon begins to
wilt beneath tho withering noontide sun of
maturity—that boding afternoon hour of ex•
istence, the 3 o'clock P. N. , of a` mortal's
life, immediately succeeds, and we find that
the fond flowers are too fatally touched with
the corrosive sublimate of Decay to admit
of Decrepitude, when a lingering leaf -of
twenty may perchun_c_e_edilLhang upon th.
present shrub, but almost every trace of its
loaner loveliness is obliterated by the hoar
_f r oats arni_shas e,n—fro-re=t h
time. The nigi.r. of death then ensues, and
the blossom of beauty, that lately was so
inviting and fair, is crushed in the dust, as
-void of attraction as the shattered fragMenta
of a toad-stool in a cotvyard. Beauty, my
friends, is aluio.,t any thit.g that is fleeting
and false. it is a ralnhor7 that glows for -a
moment and then sinks into the mirk bosom
of-it-s - matern - alcloud—itiTs the rosy blush
of morning that soon pales in the broad
glare of day—it is the crimson winged
harbinger of a'summer's evening that lights
itself to bed with a blaze of glory, and is
soon aound asleep beneath the dark mantle
of night, In short, beauty is like the gaudy
colors of figured calico—very pretty fer a
time, but exceedingly liable to fade by a
few washings in the hot suds of matrimo
ny.
[For the RECORD
My Dear Friends—Now I come to some
thing more substantial, as the man said who
found a bullet in a venison steak. I have
reference to female virtne.ilf_beaut•—be
but the blossom, surely virtue is the f rag
ranee of the flower. You may strip the
corolla of its leaves, and endeavor to pre
serve them by skill, ingenuity, or art, and
you will find that they will wither and de
cay in spite of your utmost exertions; and if
you extract the fragrance of the flowers, and
cork it up tightly - with the stopple of pro
dente, watchfulness and caution, it will last
forever. Therefore wore Ito make a choice
from the fair daughters of the earth, I should
say, give me virtue. .1 will leave it.to your
individual tastes, my friends, whether you
would not prefer butter that looks pale and
unpalatable, but yet is rich and rebelishing,
to that which appears fair upon the outside,
but is fowl and frowsy within. I know very
well that you would choose the former.
Ny Hearers-11 hat is the teal worth of
be: uty without virtue? Its but a base
coun aka coin, that passes current among
the foolish and unsu-peeting, but with the
wise and disctimintitig it IS decidedly no go.
A woman decked with the ornaments of
personal attraction but dt ethnic of moral
superiority, may receive the, homage of the
weak sons of sin, the adoration of wham is
certainly not to be prized above the value
ut's July oyster. Look at her as she flirts
and flourishes along that pestiferous path
that leads straightway to perdition. The
lilies of loveliness grace her snowy brow,
the artificial roses.of health seem to bloom
upon her cheek; forty - thousand devils are
in her inviting eye, and she seems
bound for the gates of paradise, rather than
fur the realms of endless torment but, my
friends, examine her as you would a watch,
take a look at the insides, and ' see if she
needs tit) cleaning. You wilt, find that the
luainspring of mortality has wholly lost its
mastic temper, that the regulator of her
thoughts and actions is entirely out of order,
and the balance wheel of her mind has ceased
to perform its duty, for the want of a single
dr , p of the oil of resolution. You will see that
the once fruitful soil of her heart, which ,
'nourished the protnieing plants of vu tue, is
now overgrown by the rank weeds of vice, I
and that every bud of youthful hope is tram
pled
to earth beneath the giant footsteps of
that itumeter of all monsters.
hly Dear Hearers— If there can be found
such a mixture in this adulterated world, of
beauty and virtue combined, in a single - in
dividual of the - feminine gender, I pray you
to send her to me forth with, es I have a no
tion to take unto myself a wife, ere the dayr
come when I shall say I have no pleasure in
them, and a wife isn't wintli the wear of
shoe-leather consumed iu running after her.
(live me a Wife who is both good looking
and good named, and I will be happy, con
tented and satisfied as long es Providence
allows me to stain the fair carpet of his crea
tion with my polluted footsteps; and may
rot, my unmarried brethren, entertain sen
timents similar to my own, and abide by
them to the last 'do mote it be.
Charaster is not shaped by trifles any, more
than marble is sculptured by puffs of air
Only by hard struggles, and stern conflicts
with temptation, and resolute -self-mastery,
does the divine principle assert its suprema
cy and put its immortal loveliness into every
faculty and mood of mind. The sharpness
of our trials end the hardness of our lot allow
what sterling stuff we are made of, and how
long we are to het.
BY DOW, JR
A Few Words on Saving.
An old Dtitchman once remarked that he
'had become rich by always being poor.'—
This assertion may seem to involve a soliciam.
His meaning doubtless was that he bad a
voided display, and habitually and from
choice had steered clear of , those extrava•
gances which are with many such fruitful
sources of perplexity and want. Franklin
remarked that 'a penny saved is two-pence
earned,' and there is a world of wisdom in
the old adage that 'a stitch in time •saves
nine.% Economy may be practiced in many
ways by the farmer, which are less practica
ble or wholly closed to others. And the ob
servance of this important virtue—for a vir
tue it certainly is—there is no necessity for
his appearing mean or parsimonious It is
by no means opposed to rteatoesB or to• the
just and•habitual observance of those essen
tial and highly important duties imposed
upon us as members of the great
biotin
hood of man. The man who endeavors ecru
pulously to live within the limits of his
means, wbo labors in a patched frock and
clouted shoes, may be no less deserving of
respect than he whose wealth is exhibited
daily on his back. The strictest economy
is by no means incompatible with the bright
est virtues. On the farm,•and in all the va
rious datails of rural anti domestic life, pru•
deuce and a just economy of time and means
are incumbent in an emtoent degree. The
earth-itself is composed of atoms, anti — the
most gigantic fortunes consist of aggregated
items, insignificant in themselves, till:livid
flu,- 11115 - when
trt - considurea, oiriniffe - ale when contem
plated in unity and as a whole In the man
agement of a farm, all needless expenditure.
should be systematically avoided, and the in•
come made to - exceed the outlay Pecuniary
embarrassment should always be regarded as
a contingency of evil boding, and if conten
ded against with energy - and persevering for=
titude, it rarely_failstalf_sueeess._ Debt r with
but little hope of its removal, is a millstone
dragging us down, and crushing the life
blood out of us. Be careful therefore in in
curring any pecuniary tesponFibility which
does not prevent a clear deliverance with the
advantages which an intelligent action ought
always to insure.
A•farroer who purchases a good farm and
can pay down one third of the price gives a
mortgage for the other two•thirds, and poz
sesses the heart and tedolution to wink it
faithfully and well, enters upon the true
path to success. lie will labor witty the en
couraging knowledge that each Jay's exer
tions lessen bis indebtednese_and_hrings_him_
nearer to the goal who, he shall be disen
tbralled and is e freeholder in its most cheer
ing sense.
But without due eon imp in every _de•
partment, in the dwelling as 'well as in the
barns and the fields, this gratifying achieve
ment may not be reached unties in life,
or may be indefinitely poHtponed. A pru
dent oveaight, therefore, over all the opera
tions of a farm, in order that everything may
be done that ought to be done and nethirf i
be wasted, will exert a powerful influence in
placing a family on the high road to an ear•
ly independencti.
A REMARKABLE STORY.—A gentleman,
in whose credibility the wont implicit con
fidence may be pLiced, reldres the
follow
icg singular story. The panics, and the
material facts involved, are personally known
to hint
A young lady named Holes 'Hunter living
4etween Dyensburg and Punceton, Ken
tucky, during a protracted religious meet
ing held in the month of November, under
the influence of religious excitement,,felt in
to a trance, and remained in a state of rip
parent unconsciousness for a petiod of five
days. When she was aroused from the
state of lethargy into which she had fallen,
6he rebated the experithace of the five days,
during which she professed to have passed
into the other world and witnessed the
glories of Paradise as well as the horrors of
the bottomless . pit. Jut the remarkable
feature of the story is that she predicted
that three young men, then apparently in
the moat rubust health, would die before the
year wds out. A week after the prediction
was made one of the young men took sick,
nod died in a few days. A week or ten days
latei the second died, and on the first day of
the new year the third one expired.—Evans
vitic Juuniut.
OCCUPAT:ON.—Whara glorious thing it
is fur the human heart. Those who work
hard beldu tli yield themselves entirely up to
fancied or real sorrow. When g.tief sits
down, fold its hands, and mournfully feeds
upon ite own tears weaving the ditu.shadows,
that a little e.7.ertion intl , ht sweep into a
funeral pall, the a troug spirit is shorn of its
might, and sorrow beeumen our master
When troubles flow upon you dark said
heavily, toil not with the waves—wrestle
not with the torrent !—rather seek, by oc
cupation, to divert the dark waters that
threaten to overwhelm you iuto a thousand
channels which the . duties of life always
present. Before you dream of it, those
waters will fertilize the present, and give
birth to fresh flowers that Will become puro
and holy, in the sunshine . which • penetrates
to the path of duty,' in spite of every ob
steele. 'Griot after all, is but a selfish feel
ing, and most selfish ifthe man who yields
himself' to• the indulgence ,of any passion'
which brings uu joy to his fellow man.
Franklin 57119 an observing s and sensible
man, and his conclusions were seldom incor
rect. . He said : 'A newspaper and a Bible
in every house, a good school in every the-.
trict, all studied and appreciated as they
merit, are the principal supports of virtue;
morality, and civil liberty.► •
Such is the blessing of a benevolent heart
that, lot,the world frown as it will, it cannot
possibly bereave it of all happinuss, since it
cult rej •ice in the 1 ru s priity of others.
Fashionable . lnvalidism.
Fanny Fern almost alwayb writes practi
cally, and to the [Mint.' *The' following from
her pen is well worthy' the perusual. of all
whom it may concern
I hope to live to see the time when it will
be considered a disgrace to be such ; when
people with flat chests and stooping shoul
ders will creep round the backwah like oth
er violators of known laws. Those who in
herit sickly constitutions have my sincerest
pity. I only request one favor of them, that
they cease perpetuating themselves till they
are physically on a sound basis.•. But a - WO
man who laces so tightly that,she breathes
only by a rare accident; who vibrates con
stantly between the coufectionet's shop and
the dentist's office; who has ball 'rube's and
jewels in plenty, but who owns neither an
upbrella nor a water-proof cloak, , :n.'n a pair
of thick boots; who lies in bed tail soon, nev
er exercises, and complains of 'total want of
appetite,' save for pastry and pickles ;
she is simply a disgusting nuisance.—
Sentiment is all very nice; but, were I a man
I would beware of a woman that 'couldn't
eat.' Why don't she take a nice 'little bit'
of beefsteak with her breakfast, and a nice
walk—not ride—after it 'I Why don't she
stop munching sweet stuff between _ weals 'I
Why don't she go to bed at a decent time,
and lead a clean, healthy lite? The doctors
and confectioners have ridden in their car•
rages long enough, let the butchers and
shoemakers take a turn at it. A man or a
wonma who 'can't eat' is
_never sound_o_n_any-
question. It is wasting breath to converse
with them. They take field of everything
by the wrong handle. Of course it makes
then, very mad to whisper pityingly, ‘dyspep
sia,' when they advance seine distorted o
pinion; but 1 always do it. They are not:
going to muddle my brain with their theo
-riescbecause their internal works are in a
_sta_to..eLph_ystelil-disorganization_Let-thernH
go into a lunatic_usylum and be properly
treated till they can learn how they are put
together, and how to manage theuas.elves sen
sibly.
how I rejoice in a man or a Woman with
a chest; -who can look the sun in the eye,
and step off as if they had net wooden legs.
It is a rare sight. It a woman now has an
errand round the corner she must have a car
riage to go there; and the men more dead
than alive, so lethargic are they with con•
stant smoking, creep into cars and omnibuss
es, and curl up in a corner, dreading noth
ing so much as a little wholesome exertion.
The more 'tired'Ole) , ate, the
ly they smoke; like the women who, drink
perpetual tea 'to keep them up.'
Keep them up! 'leavens I I and fifty -five,
and I feel half the time as if I were just
made. To be sure I was born in Name,
where the timber and-the human race last;
but I don't eat pastry, nor candy, nor lee
cream. I don't drink tea—bah ! I walk,
net ride. I own stout boots, and pretty ones
too! I have waterproof cloak, and no dia.
monds. I like a nice bit of beefsteak, cud
anybody _else who wants it, may eat Tap. I
go to bed at ten, and get up at six. I dash
out in the rain, because it feels good on my
face I don't care for my .cluthes, but I will
be well; and after I am buried, I warn you,
don't let any fresh air or sunlight down en
I my coffin, it you don't want me to get up.
MONEY GETTINCI.—Some people think
that it is necessary to be mean and' 'miserly
in order to become wealthy. There never
was a greater mistake. Any man of com•
mon intelligence may be prosperous if lie
chooses to iahor diligently and faithfully in
a calling which he thoroughly understands.
Of course prudence is indispensibie to sizz•
cobs—prudence, maid, not niggardly mean
ness. flee man, who commencing with little
or nothing, has resolved to rice, must also
resolve to sacrifice nothing to appearance.—
He cannot gain one true friend, our obtain
any popularity thut will be really useful to
him in his efforts to achieve independence,
by endeavoring to SCOLD to have that, which
he has not. The yorld is shrewder than
Pretension supposed it to be. It is a.euriona
world—looks sharply into people's private
affairs, and if an individual makes a show be
yond his means, soon discovers anti distrusts
him. No onn who has a fortune to make,
or who desires to receive even a 'moderate
competence, can afford to s incur the .world's
distrust, Therefore,' if you are at, the foot
of the lad Aer and want to mount, go up in
your work day guise anti don't effect purple
and flue linen.
The step mother of A braharn Lincoln still
lives near FAriniogton, Coles couuty, 111. in
a one-story log cabin, contaitang two rooms
Aunt Sally Ltuculn, as the villagers call het,
is now eighty years old, and very feeb'e.--
She is a plum, uusophisticated old lady,yith
a frank, open couutenance, a, wsrtn . heart,
full of kindness towards.others, tall and slen
der, and in many respects very. taunts like
the late President—enough so to he his own
mother, Aud, as lie was but nine yearn of
age at the time of her marriage with his fa•
Cher, it is not improbable that she had much
to do in forming ...his ammeter. She still
speaks of Abraham as her "good boy," and
praises his ol'edieneo. 6he says that "Abra.
Lam and his stepbrother never quarrelled but
once, and that you know is a pood deal , for
stepbrothers." About a mile and a half
Irons her Mil cabin is the grave 01 TVIOOIII3
Lincoln, father of the President. It is mai
ked .by a piece of clapboard, on which is
rudely carved only the initials
"There fhiti soy; a recent
Scotch writer, ‘•hetween u dinfors add law
yers ;" The wore lawyers there Aro the lon
ger tim.cuses continue while the more doe,
fort there era the lese,itunee there is for the
patient to lust. T,lce,fi'rst lead, you from one
judgetontit to another; the latter send you
double-Oiolc to, your final judgome
---f•-•••
Who iuveute.il 11,Ltc11c..8 ? Adam rind 141-e
5i5.0.0413 X 2 ezz 1.
A-Yankee Trade
A certain farmer; who in-the course_ of a
year putehased several dollars' worth of
goods (and always paid for them), called at
ihe store of a villsgo merchant— his regular
place of dealing—with two dozen broow
which he offered fur sale. The merchant - ,
(who, by the way, is fund of a good bargain')
examined his stock and said :
'Well, Cyrus . , I will give you a shilling a
piece for these brooms'
Cyrus seemed astonished at the offer, and
quickly replied :
'Oh, no, Joho, I can't begin to take that
for 'ern, no bow, but I'll let you have 'em
for twenty cents apiee, and not a coat lees.'
'Cyrus, you are crazy,' exclaimed John.—
hy see here.' showing a fine lot of brooms,
'is au article a great deal better than yours,
(which was true,) which I am retailing at
twelve and a half ccnni Grace.' (Which was .
not true by seven and a hall cents.
`Don't care for that,' answered Cyrus,— .
your brooms are chear..enough, but you can
not have mine for loss than twenty tents, a
nyhow,' and pretenuing to be more than
half angry, shouldered his brootnsoami 6 tar
ted for the door:"
The merchant getting nervous over the
logs of a good customer, and fearing that he
might go to another stele and never return,
said :
'See hero, Cyrus. hold on awhile. If I
give you twenty cebt4 for your brooms, you
I will not object to take the price of thew out
!=i-n,goode?-1
I don't care if I do,' replied Cyrus.
'Well as you are an old en,tother, I W:11
allow you twenty cents lor this lot Let me
see—twenty-four times twenty wakes just
four hundred and eighty cents What lulu!
_of goods will you have, Cyrus'.'
'Well,_now,-John,-reckon it don't make
no difference to you what sort of goods I
-takttoes—ir?'
'Oh, no, not at all—not at all,' said the
merchant,
'Well, then, as it don't make any differ•
erenec.l will take the amount in than brooms
fur twelve and a hall cents apiece Let me
sec—four dollars and eighty cents will get
thirty brooms and ten cents over. It dont
make much diffierence, John, about the ten
cents, but as you ere a clever fellow, I be
lieve I'll take the change in terbacker,
%Vhcn.Cyrus went out of the door pith
his brooms and 'terbseker,' John was seized
with a serious breaking out at the mouth,
during which time he was distinctly heard
_to_violate—tho—third — commaistlment several
times by the bystanders, who all enjlyed the
joke.
A gentleman tells of an acquaintance of
his In North Carolina, who was noted Lir
ineudaeiV. Ile relates the following :
Said some one to the liar: 'Do you re
member the time the gars fell some yearn
'Yes,' said Mendax.
'Well,' remarked the other, 'I have heard
it was all deception—that toe stars did not
actually fall.'
'Don't you believe it r returned Meedax,
with a knowing look, 'they fell in my paid
as big as gcese eggs—l've gut one of them
yet, only the children played with it so nation
they have wore the shiny points off.'
Two Dutchmen lived close together, and
they had been last 11leads, but they kit out
and hated each other like Indians. Oao of
them got sick and sew lor his neighbor, say
ihg :
'llanß, I am gang to die, will you forgive
me, anti be Iriefals '
'Ye-, if )ou die, I will,' &aid flans, 'but if
you gets well again, der ui•f grudge will staud
good '
Two students reeeti4g on the road a hot.
ler, they tell to bantering him, and told' the
follow they would prove hiru to b'o'a horse
or au ass.
said the hostler, can proveyour
saddle la be a mule:'
'A mule cried ono of them. 'flow can
that be 1'
'l3.2c:wise,' said tbe hostler, 'it is something
between an uss and a horse !'
r There ;s no funeral so sad to follow as the
funeral of our own youth, which we have
Seen pamperin g with food desires, authitiOlis
hopes, and all the bright berries - which hang
- LLL)o,isonutts clusters over the path of life..
•
,
. b.i*ik men drink iu etocvds because they
are afraid to drink by themgelved. It se
quire2 a goad deal of courage to. stand up
atone and pour a glass of whisky tio.:wn your
throat,
if a man is without enemies I wouldn't
give ten cents for his friends. Tho tu4,12
who can please everybody hasn't got sense
eLsough to displease anybody.
01;;;e of the Chinese in, California have
; silver watches so large that they use the
(mi..' to try potatoes in.
The tools and machinery on many farms
are more Injured 1 . ,:v expo4ure to the weather
than by the vicar of actual ti,e.
When is a young man's atm like the
gospel? Wheel it inaketh glad the. waist
pl,tues
A meet thing on ice— teaching a aikteen
year old bundle 431 etlico haw t,, skate.
Why is love like the letter It 7 .Begatme
it makes many a Mary marry.
The man who MA a bold stand, resolved
to bring it hack.
. .
When was Noah in America? Whim be
ICUS ou the Ark-Lind 9aw.
M MBEI( 3